Adults (2025) s01e05 Episode Script
Theracide
1
What? Uh,
you're not gonna eat with us?
I can't.
The dinner rush is starting.
Wait.
Give us a kiss before you go.
[gasps]
Yeah, kiss us all on the mouth.
Yeah. [moans]
No, I'm not gonna
kiss you on the mouth.
-[Paul moans, kisses]
-[groans] Stop! Okay.
-Love you.
-[Paul] See ya, bruh.
-[phones buzzing, beeping]
-[Billie] Oh. [gasps]
-[Paul] What?
-[Issa] Oh, my God.
-[Paul] Holy shit.
-Anton sent three alarms.
-He's bringing a guy home.
-He's breaking his dry spell.
-Oh, shit.
-Oh.
-[Billie] Uh, uh
-[Issa] This is it.
-[Samir] Okay, uh
-Oh, my God.
-[Paul] Issa!
-We said separate loads.
-[scoffs]
-[Samir] You can't
Not sanitary, babe.
Okay, guys, come on. Let's go.
We have, like, three minutes.
Come on!
-Push the beds together, Samir.
-[Issa] Faster, guys. Come on.
-I have the flowers.
-Awesome. Put them on the bed.
Can you please
move the pictures of my sister.
Wait. How do you make a swan?
How do you make a fucking swan?
-Yeah, I-I know how.
-[Issa] Okay. Thank you.
-One can be a centerpiece.
-I don't know how.
[Issa stammers] All right.
-What are you doing?
-Oh, hi.
-[gasps]
-Wait. Where's your guy?
What guy?
The guy you're gonna fuck.
You sent three alarms.
No, bringing someone home
is four alarms.
-Issa. Our therapist died.
-Oh.
George is dead?
-[Anton] Yeah.
-Oh, my God.
-[Anton] I know.
-Oh, my God. What?
[Issa breathes shakily]
-[vibrator buzzing]
-What is vibrating?
[Issa] It's me. It's me.
I'm crying hard and fast.
[theme music playing]
I seriously can't
with this veil.
Can you stop?
It's tradition in my culture.
You can't just say that when
you want to wear something.
I didn't make a thing
about your hat.
-My yarmulke?
-Anton.
Can you imagine his poor wife
finding him like that?
Just awful.
The family asked
to respect their privacy,
so I'm just staying out.
I know. You know
what that means though.
[gasps, whispers] Oh, my God.
[pastor]
Good morning, friends, family.
We're gathered here today
to remember
[whispers] Issa.
-Mm-hmm.
Look at me. He took his life.
-[pastor] the life of our dear friend
-Huh? What?
-[whispers] George took his life.
-[pastor] Dr. George
-[pastor] George is gone far too soon
-Took it where?
-No, Issa.
-[pastor] and his passing
-He [grunts]
-[pastor] has left a hole in our hearts.
-Oh.
-Yeah.
-Totally. [grunts]
-[pastor] not only to mourn our loss
-I hate funerals too.
-[pastor] but also to celebrate
Just come with me. I need to speak to you.
No. Stop. Hey.
Oh, my God. So sorry, ma'am.
Oh, sorry, sorry. Love your hair.
It's just so sad up front.
It's such a beautiful service that
we need to watch from the back.
Stop it. What are you doing?
Stop it. What are you doing?
George killed himself.
George killed himself.
-What are you talking about?
-I just heard that woman say
they found him and they want us
to respect their privacy.
-Oh, my God. The suicide words.
-I know. I know.
Oh, my God.
-What if it was my fault?
-What? Issa
No, no, you don't understand.
I called him six times a day.
Last week I woke him up
at 3:00 a.m.
to ask him if I was needy.
Issa, look at me.
I don't think I am,
but I kind of
George loved talking to you,
okay?
[stammers] If anything,
you prolonged his life.
-[sighs]
-But I-I do think it was me.
What? No.
But actually, the thoughts
I was exposing him to
were dark and compelling.
I asked him
if his ten-year-old self
would be disappointed
in the man he is today.
[gasps] Maybe it was you.
-What? Issa. Please!
-I don't know.
I don't know. I just
God. Oh, God.
[Issa breathing heavily]
What if we committed
"theracide"?
What is "theracide"?
When your personality makes
your therapist kill themself.
-Oh, my God.
-What do we do? What do we do?
-Call Billie. Call Billie.
-I'm obviously calling Billie.
Oh, God.
She'll know what to do.
-Voicemail.
-What? Where is she?
[scoffs]
Oh, she's fucking Mr. Teacher.
She's fucking
the English teacher.
-[both grunting and moaning]
-Can I come?
Can you come?
-May I come?
-[both chuckle]
[both grunting and moaning]
-Here you go.
-Thank you.
-World's best teacher, huh?
-[chuckles]
The whole world,
they called it? It was you?
I get, like,
three of those mugs a year.
-Wow.
-[Mr. Teacher] Yeah.
When people say
teachers don't make enough,
I'm like,
"Come on, we're fine."
Well, you're mug-rich, so
We kind of make too much,
if you consider the mugs.
So, um, a friend of mine
is having an art show
in Ridgewood tomorrow.
Very pretentious, very boring.
But I was thinking
if you're not busy,
maybe you'd like to
You know
You don't know
where I'm going with this?
I'd like to bring you.
-Would you like to come?
-Yeah. I'd love to.
-Yeah? Great.
-Yeah.
My friends are gonna adore you.
Did I ever get you
one of these?
-Don't think about it. Don't.
-Okay.
-Bro, even this job
-Mmm.
dude, doing deliveries,
I set my own hours.
Yeah.
And now my hours
are just all the time.
-That sucks.
-Bro.
-Yeah.
-And then, I come home and
and Anton's on a work Zoom,
and Billie won't stop talking
about her credit score.
I know. It's like, remember
when the plan for Saturday was,
like, just park?
Oh, yeah.
Like, park was the whole plan.
[chuckles]
-I think park's over, man.
-Or like Tech Decks.
-Remember Tech Decks?
-Bro!
-Yeah?
-Do I remember Tech Decks?
Check this out. Bro, I
I can still rip, I think.
I don't know.
Like this. Impossible.
Like, I don't have
the dexterity anymore.
Wait.
Here, hold this. Right there.
Yeah. Gladly.
Who's partying right now?
-Hey, boys. How's it going?
-Hi.
-Um, are your parents home?
-Yeah.
No. But But that's okay,
I can I can grab it for them.
-No. Hold your horses.
-No. I, uh
I have to scan an ID, so
Yeah.
-Yo, hell yeah. [chuckles]
-Fuck! Lucky dog, man.
Oh, you boys playing Melee?
Oh, you boys playing Melee?
Uh, yeah. Why?
Do you guys play?
Uh, yeah. Why?
Do you guys play?
Uh, do we play?
Yeah, let me think. Yeah.
I mean, not in a little while,
but yeah.
-Yeah, you could say we play.
-I'm a Kirby guy.
Well, you guys should tag in,
you know. [hisses]
-[teen 1] Yes!
-[teen 2] Goddamn it!
Just give us one second.
-[teen 1] Yes!
-[teen 2 groans]
We can't give it to them,
right?
-No.
-No, no, I'm saying no.
-I was saying no.
-That'd be super messed up.
-Super messed up. Yeah.
-Right? Yeah.
[teen 1] Boom! Yes!
[teen 2]
You gotta be Come on.
[teen 2]
You gotta be Come on.
[announcer on TV] Red team.
[announcer on TV] Red team.
But they'll probably find it
another way.
They want beer,
they're gonna get beer.
Yeah. If we're in there,
we can supervise.
-We can supervise. Yes.
-Yeah, chaperone. Mmm.
-Yeah.
-Yes.
Hey, you're not gonna, like,
drive or anything?
No, we can't drive.
We're sophomores.
-Love it.
-Too young. Yeah.
-Here's your beer.
-Put that in the fridge.
[Paul] It's going down.
[Samir]
I want a controller right now.
Shoud I get a earring up there?
Up there?
-I think on the left.
-Where did you get that idea?
From Dylan
when he broke up with Chelsea.
He doesn't It's not his only.
[Samir] I know, but come on,
he's gonna know.
When he sees that,
he's gonna say
Do you guys think
you'll die one day?
-Yes.
-[Issa] Okay, announcement.
Anton and I
need the living room tonight.
-Why?
-I texted Taryn.
-[groans] Issa.
-Wait. Who's Taryn again?
Taryn. From Roy Rubin's
Halloween party.
-Mm-mmm.
-The Austin Powers costume?
Great skin.
Communes with the dead.
-Mm-mmm. -Oh, Taryn. Yes!
-[Issa] Yes.
She said that in a past life
I invented dogfighting.
-She's very perceptive.
-Okay, she is not coming over.
Anton, we need closure.
What if our sick,
twisted minds killed George?
Then we have to sit in that.
That's what George would say.
We have to
sit in the uncertainty.
And why would we do that
when we can talk to ghosts?
-[phone buzzes]
-[gasps]
-Jared texted.
-Stop. Jay? What'd he say?
-Jared texted.
-Stop. Jay? What'd he say?
[Samir] Check it.
[Samir] Check it.
" Smash tournament tonight.
Bring whatever shit you have."
Oh, shit!
Bring whatever shit you have."
Oh, shit!
-[Samir squeals]
-You guys,
-[Samir squeals]
-You guys,
this is the saddest thing
I've ever seen,
and I'm pretty sure
my therapist shot himself
in the face this week.
[Billie] What's going on?
They're going to hang
with the children.
-[Billie] No. Really?
-Samir, it's weird.
You're like
a full decade older than them.
-Sad.
-Okay, that's weak-ass
coming from someone
who's hooking up
with her high school teacher.
[snorts] "That's weak-ass"?
So Dylan.
I know. How Dylan was that?
Okay, we're not hooking up.
We are a couple.
A couple
who goes to art galleries.
Issa, you support
my relationship, right?
Hmm? With Mr. Teacher?
Hmm? With Mr. Teacher?
-Yeah.
-Absolutely.
-Yeah.
-Absolutely.
It's so unhinged. I love it.
Also, we need to
stop calling him Mr. Teacher,
'cause he has a real name.
-He does?
-Besides Mr. Teacher?
-[horn honks]
-Ooh, okay, that's him.
Okay, Samir, Paul Baker,
look at me.
-[Billie] Look at me.
-What?
Do not go back to that
teenage boy's house tonight.
-Fine.
-Okay.
Thank you.
[Billie] And he can't bring
his GameCube here either.
Obviously, I know that.
-Yeah.
-[door closes]
Fuck. [sighs]
She thinks of everything.
[sniffs, chuckles] Yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
So, the Austin Powers thing
wasn't just for Halloween.
[shushes] Be respectful. She's
giving us a huge discount.
-You're paying her?
-Shut up.
[scoffs]
Ask only what you wish to know.
Trust me.
Okay.
[breathes sharply] Anton.
[breathes shakily]
Is there a spirit here with us?
[breathes shakily]
Y-E-S.
-[chuckles]
-[Issa breathes sharply]
There is a "yes" spot, so
you could've just gone there.
It's definitely George.
Yeah. Oh, it's George.
I know it. I feel it.
[Issa] Anton. [shushes]
Spirit
what is your name?
-G
-I told you.
-Yeah, you knew it.
-E
-R
-What?
O-R
[gulps, grunts]
O-R
[chuckles]
G-E.
"Gerororge."
Oh, maybe that's his
heaven name.
Yes!
-Heaven name?
-Mm-hmm.
You get a new name
when you cross over.
It's not in English. [scoffs]
Issa, she clearly
just misspelled it.
She's not doing anything.
Issa, she's moving
her own hand. [scoffs]
No, she's not.
Also, even if she was,
it's 'cause
the universe compelled her to.
-Grow up.
-[grunts] Okay. Ready?
-Can I ask something?
-[Taryn] Mm-hmm.
George, if you're actually here
with us, give us a sign.
-[door slams]
-[both screaming]
[screaming]
Why are you screaming?
-He's here.
-Is he?
-He's fully here.
-Gerorge!
-Take my vessel! [grunting]
-[Issa gasps]
Okay, okay, okay. Ask it.
She's doing something weird.
-Ask it.
-[Issa] Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Okay. Was your death our fault?
Yes!
-No!
-Oh, my God!
-[grunting continues]
-[Issa sobbing]
-Oh, my God. We killed a man.
-[mumbling] Get over here.
-Okay. [chuckles] Ow.
-[Issa sobbing]
Ouch.
Hmm. My nipples are so hard
right now.
[breathing heavily]
Can one of you drive me home
after this?
My license was revoked.
And I'm banned from the train.
I told her you know this is just peweebr/ fucking soccer, right?
If your kid's doing a header,
you should be
in a travel team."
Yes, it's just like this girl
in Sophie's gymnastics class.
She's already doing
a back tuck.
Okay, so your kid
should be in the Olympics?
-That's what I'm hearing.
-[chuckles] Exactly.
-Yeah.
-[Joe] Hey, guys.
-[both] Hey.
-[Joe] Let me show you around.
-[acquaintance] She's sweet.
-[Krisel] Yeah, she's great.
-Hey.
-Oh, hi.
-Hey.
-Oh, hi.
-Cheers.
-Thank you.
-Cheers.
-Thank you.
-So, is it gonna be weird?
-Hmm?
-When your friends adopt me.
-[chuckles]
'Cause it's gonna be
kind of like
you're sleeping with
your friend's kid.
It's gonna be a whole thing.
People are gonna
talk about it. [chuckles]
Yeah, art shows
are basically just standing
around bitching about your 40s.
Oh. [chuckles]
And of course
the heavy, heavy drinking.
-Mmm. Speaking of.
-Oh.
Thank you. Double up?
[Joe] So, this one's called
Unraveling In
It's my favorite part,
the gentle ribbing
of the artists themselves.
Okay, you guys.
Very funny. [chuckles]
Looks like you're having
a great time.
I mean, Georgia O'Keeffe, who?
[all laugh]
So, now, tell me,
does your wife know about her?
[all laugh]
Okay. So, you fully based this
off me? [chuckles]
Like you
sneaking into my room, like,
fully painting my vagina.
[chuckles]
Please don't accuse me of that.
No, no. I wa I wasn't
No, I was I was joking.
I was ribbing ya.
Okay.
No. I-In all seriousness,
dude, the, uh
-the colors are really moving.
-Thanks, man.
Yeah, you really nailed
the pink of my clit. [chuckles]
Oh, God!
-[acquaintance] Okay.
-Nice. Okay.
-[Joe] Okay.
-[acquaintance] Okay.
-Let me show you
-Yeah.
Hmm.
[stammers] No. Don't.
That's okay. It's not that bad.
"You nailed
the pink of my clit?"
Yeah, that was a
That was a big swing.
-It was a huge swing.
-It's, uh
[teen 2] Okay. All right.
[teen 2] ♪Have a seat ♪♪
[teen 2] ♪Grab a beer ♪♪
-♪We're chilling with ♪♪
-Who?
-♪Paul and Samir ♪♪
-[all] Ah!
-♪Saturday, at Jared's house ♪♪
-[all] What?
-♪And we about ♪♪
-What?
♪to wild out! ♪♪
[all] Ah!
♪My name is ♪♪
- Yeah.
-[teen 2] Dude, they're here.
-Hey, guys.
-Hey. It's good to see you.
Heya.
[all chattering]
Did you know
this was gonna be guy-girl?
No. Did you know
it was gonna be guy-girl?
No, dude. That
That definitely makes this feel
a lot more statutory.
[sighs] Uh
Let me get you a drink.
Whoa, whoa! No, no.
No. No, no, no. Hey, hey. No.
-No. No.
-Dude chill.
No, dude, I can't chill. This
is I brought you this alcohol.
They're sophomores, dude.
-Who? These girls?
-Yeah.
-No. They're freshmen.
-Okay.
-Fuck.
-Who are these guys, Jared?
I don't know.
Some guys who buy us booze.
-Jay.
-Bro!
Why are they
looking at our boobs?
-I'm not looking at
-I didn't even look at you.
Paul Baker? No, no, no.
That's it.
Yep. I'm on it. Yeah.
We're taking your booze.
We're taking them away.
This is very irresponsible.
You guys
are completely out of control.
So we have to
We have to call it.
And you know what?
We'll confiscate
-I'm taking your GameCube.
-No. We'll leave the GameCube.
Okay. We'll leave the GameCube
for now. For now.
I mean, I wouldn't be here
without George.
He truly cared about you,
sweetheart.
-Aw, thank you. [sniffles]
-Thank you.
You know,
when my mother got sick,
George taught me so much
about loss and life.
-Squeeze in. So sorry.
-I'm so sorry.
And you know,
that was bone cancer.
We're just gonna go
-Oh, God. That sounds horrible.
-Sorry.
[Anton] I'm sorry.
Did I step on your toe?
You know what? I would love
to sit there. I'm so sorry.
-If I could scooch in here.
-Thank you, Aaron.
That was beautiful.
If only George could hear that.
He'd be so happy.
[Anton] Issa, not yet.
-He can actually.
-No.
We We We talked to George.
-Excuse me?
-[Issa] We talked to George.
We communed with him.
Issa,
we were supposed to save this
We have this information.
We have to tell them.
-It's just not
-Ultimately, it will help them.
I didn't believe it
at first either,
but there is some truth to it.
So
First of all,
I want you to know
that George can still hear us
that George can still hear us
and I am happy to tell you
and I am happy to tell you
that he has arrived safely
in the afterlife,
where he is currently living
with three roommates.
-Which is cool.
-Okay.
Um, George did have some
unfinished business.
Mostly some tax stuff and
something with the letter J.
-Oh, yeah. J. Joe?
-J. J. Joe?
-Oh, yeah. J. Joe?
-J. J. Joe?
-Journey?
-Journey, the band.
-Journey?
-Journey, the band.
-Did he like the band, J
-[man] Jewish.
-Oh, Jewish!
-Jungle?
But anyway, um, cause of death
-uh, was
-[sighs]
The cause of death was, uh
'Cause, no,
everyone should know.
-It's only right.
-Issa. Issa, please.
Anton and I are the reason
that George
shot himself in the face.
-Took his life.
-Sorry. Took his life. Sorry.
And we are so deeply sorry.
[sighs] We abused our
relationship with him a-and
and we turned him into
a battered therapist.
-Our minds are just so sick.
We're unwell.
We're sick. We're not well.
Okay?
And-And he
he really should've
never had to deal with us
in the first place.
-And we are just so
-So I'm sorry.
-deeply sorry for your loss.
-Deeply sorry.
Yeah.
George didn't kill himself.
-What?
-What?
You thought you were
responsible for his death?
-That is
-So narcissistic.
-[scoffs]
-I'm sorry, who are you?
My name's Katie.
Yeah. George
didn't mention you once.
Ever.
The hated me
They didn't hate you.
Uh, okay. Did you see
their faces after Clitgate?
[snorts]
-They think I'm a child.
-No. They Hey.
Billie, come on. They Stop.
They thought you were great.
And if they didn't, they're all
drunks and depressives anyway.
Don't say that.
I mean it. You're more mature
than any of them,
and if they can't see how great
you are, then fuck them!
I only went because
Steve's my divorce attorney.
I'd much rather spend
the night with your friends.
-You'd really like my friends.
-Yeah? Great.
Well, then
I can't wait to meet them.
Well, I can't wait
for you to meet them.
[Anton]
He slipped in the shower!
[Issa] The widow confirmed it!
He slipped in the shower!
We're not monsters!
-Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
-Wait. Are these them?
-He didn't kill himself!
-Uh
-No, uh, no, I don't
-[Anton] Come on!
[Anton and Issa] He didn't
kill himself 'cause of us.
Come on, now!
He didn't kill himself
'cause of us.
-[Samir retches]
-Stick it up there.
There you go. Attaboy.
-[Mr. Teacher] That's Samir.
-There you go. Attaboy.
-[Samir groans]
-Dude, Jared's a dick, bro.
-I love you.
-I love you, bro.
I don't know them either.
-[Anton] Oh, my God. I'm free.
-[Paul] Bro.
Oh, it's Billie. Sammy,
it's Billie
and the old guy
she's in love with.
-[chuckles]
-Billie.
[Samir] Ah, shit.
I never read Gatsby.
Old guy. Billie, it's Paul.
Sammy, it's Billie.
Make sure you tell them
to hydrate before bed.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Bye, George. We'll miss you.
Yeah. You were
a wonderful therapist, George.
The best.
And we really don't know
what we'll do without you.
Yeah, um [clears throat]
And if you can hear us, um
I'm not, like, a bad person.
Right?
No.
-Oh, my God.
-What was that?
-Who That was insa
-Did you hear that? Oh, my God.
-George?
-George?
[scoffs]
What the hell is going on?
-You have to ask one.
-Okay, I'll ask one. Okay?
[gasps]
[exhales sharply]
Will I die alone?
No.
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God, this is crazy.
-Okay. [chuckles] You go.
-Oh, my God.
[chuckles] Oh, my God.
-Issa, you go.
Okay. Uh, should I
ask for a raise at work?
-Yes.
-[gasps] Oh, my God.
-You need that raise.
-I need it.
-Oh, my God, I have goosebumps.
-Okay, okay. I'll go. I'll go.
♪It fucking hurts
To be alive ♪♪
♪Oh, the disposable
fragility of life ♪♪
♪Life, life, life ♪♪
♪And my identity is
My mother died ♪♪
♪Anything to distract from
Being straight and white ♪♪
♪But I want to be
the perfect mix ♪♪
♪You want to fix ♪♪
What? Uh,
you're not gonna eat with us?
I can't.
The dinner rush is starting.
Wait.
Give us a kiss before you go.
[gasps]
Yeah, kiss us all on the mouth.
Yeah. [moans]
No, I'm not gonna
kiss you on the mouth.
-[Paul moans, kisses]
-[groans] Stop! Okay.
-Love you.
-[Paul] See ya, bruh.
-[phones buzzing, beeping]
-[Billie] Oh. [gasps]
-[Paul] What?
-[Issa] Oh, my God.
-[Paul] Holy shit.
-Anton sent three alarms.
-He's bringing a guy home.
-He's breaking his dry spell.
-Oh, shit.
-Oh.
-[Billie] Uh, uh
-[Issa] This is it.
-[Samir] Okay, uh
-Oh, my God.
-[Paul] Issa!
-We said separate loads.
-[scoffs]
-[Samir] You can't
Not sanitary, babe.
Okay, guys, come on. Let's go.
We have, like, three minutes.
Come on!
-Push the beds together, Samir.
-[Issa] Faster, guys. Come on.
-I have the flowers.
-Awesome. Put them on the bed.
Can you please
move the pictures of my sister.
Wait. How do you make a swan?
How do you make a fucking swan?
-Yeah, I-I know how.
-[Issa] Okay. Thank you.
-One can be a centerpiece.
-I don't know how.
[Issa stammers] All right.
-What are you doing?
-Oh, hi.
-[gasps]
-Wait. Where's your guy?
What guy?
The guy you're gonna fuck.
You sent three alarms.
No, bringing someone home
is four alarms.
-Issa. Our therapist died.
-Oh.
George is dead?
-[Anton] Yeah.
-Oh, my God.
-[Anton] I know.
-Oh, my God. What?
[Issa breathes shakily]
-[vibrator buzzing]
-What is vibrating?
[Issa] It's me. It's me.
I'm crying hard and fast.
[theme music playing]
I seriously can't
with this veil.
Can you stop?
It's tradition in my culture.
You can't just say that when
you want to wear something.
I didn't make a thing
about your hat.
-My yarmulke?
-Anton.
Can you imagine his poor wife
finding him like that?
Just awful.
The family asked
to respect their privacy,
so I'm just staying out.
I know. You know
what that means though.
[gasps, whispers] Oh, my God.
[pastor]
Good morning, friends, family.
We're gathered here today
to remember
[whispers] Issa.
-Mm-hmm.
Look at me. He took his life.
-[pastor] the life of our dear friend
-Huh? What?
-[whispers] George took his life.
-[pastor] Dr. George
-[pastor] George is gone far too soon
-Took it where?
-No, Issa.
-[pastor] and his passing
-He [grunts]
-[pastor] has left a hole in our hearts.
-Oh.
-Yeah.
-Totally. [grunts]
-[pastor] not only to mourn our loss
-I hate funerals too.
-[pastor] but also to celebrate
Just come with me. I need to speak to you.
No. Stop. Hey.
Oh, my God. So sorry, ma'am.
Oh, sorry, sorry. Love your hair.
It's just so sad up front.
It's such a beautiful service that
we need to watch from the back.
Stop it. What are you doing?
Stop it. What are you doing?
George killed himself.
George killed himself.
-What are you talking about?
-I just heard that woman say
they found him and they want us
to respect their privacy.
-Oh, my God. The suicide words.
-I know. I know.
Oh, my God.
-What if it was my fault?
-What? Issa
No, no, you don't understand.
I called him six times a day.
Last week I woke him up
at 3:00 a.m.
to ask him if I was needy.
Issa, look at me.
I don't think I am,
but I kind of
George loved talking to you,
okay?
[stammers] If anything,
you prolonged his life.
-[sighs]
-But I-I do think it was me.
What? No.
But actually, the thoughts
I was exposing him to
were dark and compelling.
I asked him
if his ten-year-old self
would be disappointed
in the man he is today.
[gasps] Maybe it was you.
-What? Issa. Please!
-I don't know.
I don't know. I just
God. Oh, God.
[Issa breathing heavily]
What if we committed
"theracide"?
What is "theracide"?
When your personality makes
your therapist kill themself.
-Oh, my God.
-What do we do? What do we do?
-Call Billie. Call Billie.
-I'm obviously calling Billie.
Oh, God.
She'll know what to do.
-Voicemail.
-What? Where is she?
[scoffs]
Oh, she's fucking Mr. Teacher.
She's fucking
the English teacher.
-[both grunting and moaning]
-Can I come?
Can you come?
-May I come?
-[both chuckle]
[both grunting and moaning]
-Here you go.
-Thank you.
-World's best teacher, huh?
-[chuckles]
The whole world,
they called it? It was you?
I get, like,
three of those mugs a year.
-Wow.
-[Mr. Teacher] Yeah.
When people say
teachers don't make enough,
I'm like,
"Come on, we're fine."
Well, you're mug-rich, so
We kind of make too much,
if you consider the mugs.
So, um, a friend of mine
is having an art show
in Ridgewood tomorrow.
Very pretentious, very boring.
But I was thinking
if you're not busy,
maybe you'd like to
You know
You don't know
where I'm going with this?
I'd like to bring you.
-Would you like to come?
-Yeah. I'd love to.
-Yeah? Great.
-Yeah.
My friends are gonna adore you.
Did I ever get you
one of these?
-Don't think about it. Don't.
-Okay.
-Bro, even this job
-Mmm.
dude, doing deliveries,
I set my own hours.
Yeah.
And now my hours
are just all the time.
-That sucks.
-Bro.
-Yeah.
-And then, I come home and
and Anton's on a work Zoom,
and Billie won't stop talking
about her credit score.
I know. It's like, remember
when the plan for Saturday was,
like, just park?
Oh, yeah.
Like, park was the whole plan.
[chuckles]
-I think park's over, man.
-Or like Tech Decks.
-Remember Tech Decks?
-Bro!
-Yeah?
-Do I remember Tech Decks?
Check this out. Bro, I
I can still rip, I think.
I don't know.
Like this. Impossible.
Like, I don't have
the dexterity anymore.
Wait.
Here, hold this. Right there.
Yeah. Gladly.
Who's partying right now?
-Hey, boys. How's it going?
-Hi.
-Um, are your parents home?
-Yeah.
No. But But that's okay,
I can I can grab it for them.
-No. Hold your horses.
-No. I, uh
I have to scan an ID, so
Yeah.
-Yo, hell yeah. [chuckles]
-Fuck! Lucky dog, man.
Oh, you boys playing Melee?
Oh, you boys playing Melee?
Uh, yeah. Why?
Do you guys play?
Uh, yeah. Why?
Do you guys play?
Uh, do we play?
Yeah, let me think. Yeah.
I mean, not in a little while,
but yeah.
-Yeah, you could say we play.
-I'm a Kirby guy.
Well, you guys should tag in,
you know. [hisses]
-[teen 1] Yes!
-[teen 2] Goddamn it!
Just give us one second.
-[teen 1] Yes!
-[teen 2 groans]
We can't give it to them,
right?
-No.
-No, no, I'm saying no.
-I was saying no.
-That'd be super messed up.
-Super messed up. Yeah.
-Right? Yeah.
[teen 1] Boom! Yes!
[teen 2]
You gotta be Come on.
[teen 2]
You gotta be Come on.
[announcer on TV] Red team.
[announcer on TV] Red team.
But they'll probably find it
another way.
They want beer,
they're gonna get beer.
Yeah. If we're in there,
we can supervise.
-We can supervise. Yes.
-Yeah, chaperone. Mmm.
-Yeah.
-Yes.
Hey, you're not gonna, like,
drive or anything?
No, we can't drive.
We're sophomores.
-Love it.
-Too young. Yeah.
-Here's your beer.
-Put that in the fridge.
[Paul] It's going down.
[Samir]
I want a controller right now.
Shoud I get a earring up there?
Up there?
-I think on the left.
-Where did you get that idea?
From Dylan
when he broke up with Chelsea.
He doesn't It's not his only.
[Samir] I know, but come on,
he's gonna know.
When he sees that,
he's gonna say
Do you guys think
you'll die one day?
-Yes.
-[Issa] Okay, announcement.
Anton and I
need the living room tonight.
-Why?
-I texted Taryn.
-[groans] Issa.
-Wait. Who's Taryn again?
Taryn. From Roy Rubin's
Halloween party.
-Mm-mmm.
-The Austin Powers costume?
Great skin.
Communes with the dead.
-Mm-mmm. -Oh, Taryn. Yes!
-[Issa] Yes.
She said that in a past life
I invented dogfighting.
-She's very perceptive.
-Okay, she is not coming over.
Anton, we need closure.
What if our sick,
twisted minds killed George?
Then we have to sit in that.
That's what George would say.
We have to
sit in the uncertainty.
And why would we do that
when we can talk to ghosts?
-[phone buzzes]
-[gasps]
-Jared texted.
-Stop. Jay? What'd he say?
-Jared texted.
-Stop. Jay? What'd he say?
[Samir] Check it.
[Samir] Check it.
" Smash tournament tonight.
Bring whatever shit you have."
Oh, shit!
Bring whatever shit you have."
Oh, shit!
-[Samir squeals]
-You guys,
-[Samir squeals]
-You guys,
this is the saddest thing
I've ever seen,
and I'm pretty sure
my therapist shot himself
in the face this week.
[Billie] What's going on?
They're going to hang
with the children.
-[Billie] No. Really?
-Samir, it's weird.
You're like
a full decade older than them.
-Sad.
-Okay, that's weak-ass
coming from someone
who's hooking up
with her high school teacher.
[snorts] "That's weak-ass"?
So Dylan.
I know. How Dylan was that?
Okay, we're not hooking up.
We are a couple.
A couple
who goes to art galleries.
Issa, you support
my relationship, right?
Hmm? With Mr. Teacher?
Hmm? With Mr. Teacher?
-Yeah.
-Absolutely.
-Yeah.
-Absolutely.
It's so unhinged. I love it.
Also, we need to
stop calling him Mr. Teacher,
'cause he has a real name.
-He does?
-Besides Mr. Teacher?
-[horn honks]
-Ooh, okay, that's him.
Okay, Samir, Paul Baker,
look at me.
-[Billie] Look at me.
-What?
Do not go back to that
teenage boy's house tonight.
-Fine.
-Okay.
Thank you.
[Billie] And he can't bring
his GameCube here either.
Obviously, I know that.
-Yeah.
-[door closes]
Fuck. [sighs]
She thinks of everything.
[sniffs, chuckles] Yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
So, the Austin Powers thing
wasn't just for Halloween.
[shushes] Be respectful. She's
giving us a huge discount.
-You're paying her?
-Shut up.
[scoffs]
Ask only what you wish to know.
Trust me.
Okay.
[breathes sharply] Anton.
[breathes shakily]
Is there a spirit here with us?
[breathes shakily]
Y-E-S.
-[chuckles]
-[Issa breathes sharply]
There is a "yes" spot, so
you could've just gone there.
It's definitely George.
Yeah. Oh, it's George.
I know it. I feel it.
[Issa] Anton. [shushes]
Spirit
what is your name?
-G
-I told you.
-Yeah, you knew it.
-E
-R
-What?
O-R
[gulps, grunts]
O-R
[chuckles]
G-E.
"Gerororge."
Oh, maybe that's his
heaven name.
Yes!
-Heaven name?
-Mm-hmm.
You get a new name
when you cross over.
It's not in English. [scoffs]
Issa, she clearly
just misspelled it.
She's not doing anything.
Issa, she's moving
her own hand. [scoffs]
No, she's not.
Also, even if she was,
it's 'cause
the universe compelled her to.
-Grow up.
-[grunts] Okay. Ready?
-Can I ask something?
-[Taryn] Mm-hmm.
George, if you're actually here
with us, give us a sign.
-[door slams]
-[both screaming]
[screaming]
Why are you screaming?
-He's here.
-Is he?
-He's fully here.
-Gerorge!
-Take my vessel! [grunting]
-[Issa gasps]
Okay, okay, okay. Ask it.
She's doing something weird.
-Ask it.
-[Issa] Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Okay. Was your death our fault?
Yes!
-No!
-Oh, my God!
-[grunting continues]
-[Issa sobbing]
-Oh, my God. We killed a man.
-[mumbling] Get over here.
-Okay. [chuckles] Ow.
-[Issa sobbing]
Ouch.
Hmm. My nipples are so hard
right now.
[breathing heavily]
Can one of you drive me home
after this?
My license was revoked.
And I'm banned from the train.
I told her you know this is just peweebr/ fucking soccer, right?
If your kid's doing a header,
you should be
in a travel team."
Yes, it's just like this girl
in Sophie's gymnastics class.
She's already doing
a back tuck.
Okay, so your kid
should be in the Olympics?
-That's what I'm hearing.
-[chuckles] Exactly.
-Yeah.
-[Joe] Hey, guys.
-[both] Hey.
-[Joe] Let me show you around.
-[acquaintance] She's sweet.
-[Krisel] Yeah, she's great.
-Hey.
-Oh, hi.
-Hey.
-Oh, hi.
-Cheers.
-Thank you.
-Cheers.
-Thank you.
-So, is it gonna be weird?
-Hmm?
-When your friends adopt me.
-[chuckles]
'Cause it's gonna be
kind of like
you're sleeping with
your friend's kid.
It's gonna be a whole thing.
People are gonna
talk about it. [chuckles]
Yeah, art shows
are basically just standing
around bitching about your 40s.
Oh. [chuckles]
And of course
the heavy, heavy drinking.
-Mmm. Speaking of.
-Oh.
Thank you. Double up?
[Joe] So, this one's called
Unraveling In
It's my favorite part,
the gentle ribbing
of the artists themselves.
Okay, you guys.
Very funny. [chuckles]
Looks like you're having
a great time.
I mean, Georgia O'Keeffe, who?
[all laugh]
So, now, tell me,
does your wife know about her?
[all laugh]
Okay. So, you fully based this
off me? [chuckles]
Like you
sneaking into my room, like,
fully painting my vagina.
[chuckles]
Please don't accuse me of that.
No, no. I wa I wasn't
No, I was I was joking.
I was ribbing ya.
Okay.
No. I-In all seriousness,
dude, the, uh
-the colors are really moving.
-Thanks, man.
Yeah, you really nailed
the pink of my clit. [chuckles]
Oh, God!
-[acquaintance] Okay.
-Nice. Okay.
-[Joe] Okay.
-[acquaintance] Okay.
-Let me show you
-Yeah.
Hmm.
[stammers] No. Don't.
That's okay. It's not that bad.
"You nailed
the pink of my clit?"
Yeah, that was a
That was a big swing.
-It was a huge swing.
-It's, uh
[teen 2] Okay. All right.
[teen 2] ♪Have a seat ♪♪
[teen 2] ♪Grab a beer ♪♪
-♪We're chilling with ♪♪
-Who?
-♪Paul and Samir ♪♪
-[all] Ah!
-♪Saturday, at Jared's house ♪♪
-[all] What?
-♪And we about ♪♪
-What?
♪to wild out! ♪♪
[all] Ah!
♪My name is ♪♪
- Yeah.
-[teen 2] Dude, they're here.
-Hey, guys.
-Hey. It's good to see you.
Heya.
[all chattering]
Did you know
this was gonna be guy-girl?
No. Did you know
it was gonna be guy-girl?
No, dude. That
That definitely makes this feel
a lot more statutory.
[sighs] Uh
Let me get you a drink.
Whoa, whoa! No, no.
No. No, no, no. Hey, hey. No.
-No. No.
-Dude chill.
No, dude, I can't chill. This
is I brought you this alcohol.
They're sophomores, dude.
-Who? These girls?
-Yeah.
-No. They're freshmen.
-Okay.
-Fuck.
-Who are these guys, Jared?
I don't know.
Some guys who buy us booze.
-Jay.
-Bro!
Why are they
looking at our boobs?
-I'm not looking at
-I didn't even look at you.
Paul Baker? No, no, no.
That's it.
Yep. I'm on it. Yeah.
We're taking your booze.
We're taking them away.
This is very irresponsible.
You guys
are completely out of control.
So we have to
We have to call it.
And you know what?
We'll confiscate
-I'm taking your GameCube.
-No. We'll leave the GameCube.
Okay. We'll leave the GameCube
for now. For now.
I mean, I wouldn't be here
without George.
He truly cared about you,
sweetheart.
-Aw, thank you. [sniffles]
-Thank you.
You know,
when my mother got sick,
George taught me so much
about loss and life.
-Squeeze in. So sorry.
-I'm so sorry.
And you know,
that was bone cancer.
We're just gonna go
-Oh, God. That sounds horrible.
-Sorry.
[Anton] I'm sorry.
Did I step on your toe?
You know what? I would love
to sit there. I'm so sorry.
-If I could scooch in here.
-Thank you, Aaron.
That was beautiful.
If only George could hear that.
He'd be so happy.
[Anton] Issa, not yet.
-He can actually.
-No.
We We We talked to George.
-Excuse me?
-[Issa] We talked to George.
We communed with him.
Issa,
we were supposed to save this
We have this information.
We have to tell them.
-It's just not
-Ultimately, it will help them.
I didn't believe it
at first either,
but there is some truth to it.
So
First of all,
I want you to know
that George can still hear us
that George can still hear us
and I am happy to tell you
and I am happy to tell you
that he has arrived safely
in the afterlife,
where he is currently living
with three roommates.
-Which is cool.
-Okay.
Um, George did have some
unfinished business.
Mostly some tax stuff and
something with the letter J.
-Oh, yeah. J. Joe?
-J. J. Joe?
-Oh, yeah. J. Joe?
-J. J. Joe?
-Journey?
-Journey, the band.
-Journey?
-Journey, the band.
-Did he like the band, J
-[man] Jewish.
-Oh, Jewish!
-Jungle?
But anyway, um, cause of death
-uh, was
-[sighs]
The cause of death was, uh
'Cause, no,
everyone should know.
-It's only right.
-Issa. Issa, please.
Anton and I are the reason
that George
shot himself in the face.
-Took his life.
-Sorry. Took his life. Sorry.
And we are so deeply sorry.
[sighs] We abused our
relationship with him a-and
and we turned him into
a battered therapist.
-Our minds are just so sick.
We're unwell.
We're sick. We're not well.
Okay?
And-And he
he really should've
never had to deal with us
in the first place.
-And we are just so
-So I'm sorry.
-deeply sorry for your loss.
-Deeply sorry.
Yeah.
George didn't kill himself.
-What?
-What?
You thought you were
responsible for his death?
-That is
-So narcissistic.
-[scoffs]
-I'm sorry, who are you?
My name's Katie.
Yeah. George
didn't mention you once.
Ever.
The hated me
They didn't hate you.
Uh, okay. Did you see
their faces after Clitgate?
[snorts]
-They think I'm a child.
-No. They Hey.
Billie, come on. They Stop.
They thought you were great.
And if they didn't, they're all
drunks and depressives anyway.
Don't say that.
I mean it. You're more mature
than any of them,
and if they can't see how great
you are, then fuck them!
I only went because
Steve's my divorce attorney.
I'd much rather spend
the night with your friends.
-You'd really like my friends.
-Yeah? Great.
Well, then
I can't wait to meet them.
Well, I can't wait
for you to meet them.
[Anton]
He slipped in the shower!
[Issa] The widow confirmed it!
He slipped in the shower!
We're not monsters!
-Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
-Wait. Are these them?
-He didn't kill himself!
-Uh
-No, uh, no, I don't
-[Anton] Come on!
[Anton and Issa] He didn't
kill himself 'cause of us.
Come on, now!
He didn't kill himself
'cause of us.
-[Samir retches]
-Stick it up there.
There you go. Attaboy.
-[Mr. Teacher] That's Samir.
-There you go. Attaboy.
-[Samir groans]
-Dude, Jared's a dick, bro.
-I love you.
-I love you, bro.
I don't know them either.
-[Anton] Oh, my God. I'm free.
-[Paul] Bro.
Oh, it's Billie. Sammy,
it's Billie
and the old guy
she's in love with.
-[chuckles]
-Billie.
[Samir] Ah, shit.
I never read Gatsby.
Old guy. Billie, it's Paul.
Sammy, it's Billie.
Make sure you tell them
to hydrate before bed.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Bye, George. We'll miss you.
Yeah. You were
a wonderful therapist, George.
The best.
And we really don't know
what we'll do without you.
Yeah, um [clears throat]
And if you can hear us, um
I'm not, like, a bad person.
Right?
No.
-Oh, my God.
-What was that?
-Who That was insa
-Did you hear that? Oh, my God.
-George?
-George?
[scoffs]
What the hell is going on?
-You have to ask one.
-Okay, I'll ask one. Okay?
[gasps]
[exhales sharply]
Will I die alone?
No.
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God, this is crazy.
-Okay. [chuckles] You go.
-Oh, my God.
[chuckles] Oh, my God.
-Issa, you go.
Okay. Uh, should I
ask for a raise at work?
-Yes.
-[gasps] Oh, my God.
-You need that raise.
-I need it.
-Oh, my God, I have goosebumps.
-Okay, okay. I'll go. I'll go.
♪It fucking hurts
To be alive ♪♪
♪Oh, the disposable
fragility of life ♪♪
♪Life, life, life ♪♪
♪And my identity is
My mother died ♪♪
♪Anything to distract from
Being straight and white ♪♪
♪But I want to be
the perfect mix ♪♪
♪You want to fix ♪♪