Alice and Steve (2026) s01e05 Episode Script
Episode 5
[energetic music playing]
[speaking indistinctly]
Treasure each other.
It's the most important relationship
you'll ever have.
Thanks.
But don't sleep with
your mother's friends.
[chuckles]
[chuckles]
Reservation under Izzy Asher.
Does everyone get the door wrong?
No.
Oh. That-That's strange.
I actually designed the Shard so yeah,
they really messed your doors up.
Glad that none of
your other patrons noticed…
[chuckles] I thought I was meeting Izzy.
Me too.
[clears throat]
-Is she parent trapping us?
-It seems so.
If only I had a butler
and you had a winery.
I don't understand.
[laughs] If we do break up,
which child do you want?
We both want Dom, don't we?
I need a drink.
This is ridiculous, isn't it?
What are we doing? It's been weeks.
And we're not even trying to fix it.
Don't you think
I should just move back in?
[sighs]
I don't even understand
what we are arguing about. Do you?
We're arguing about the fact
that you lied to me
and that you don't prioritise
our relationship.
Okay.
I'm not sure why I'm the one apologising.
I'm not the one who had
a strange woman over to our house.
[stammers] And there's… there's no way
you haven't lied to me once or twice--
No, she's not a strange woman
and I don't lie to you ever.
[Alice] Excuse me?
[stutters] I-I'm proud of the f…
Oh, tonight's not a parent trap.
Steve and Izzy are here.
Oh, amazing.
So, do they not have waiters
at this restaurant?
-Hey.
-Hey.
[Izzy] Okay.
So, um, sorry to have misled you both
about dinner,
but I think we all need to find a way
to get along.
Oh. Right. Sou… Sounds good.
Well, let's do that then.
[Daniel sighs]
Do we not worry about the fact that
he's destroyed my marriage and my job?
After you destroyed my job.
After you had sex with my child.
Adult… A… Adult child.
I think,
in the interest of moving forward,
you and I really need to bury the hatchet.
-That's racist.
-Is it?
-I don't know.
-[Alice] Well,
you're using a Native American term,
"Bury the hatchet."
That's racist. I should know
because I got fired for being a racist.
-Okay, there actually was a racist--
-Apparently that's my thing--
Okay, stop!
We're having a baby.
You're…
-Sorry?
-You two… You're…
-I think you're… you-you should… you…
-[stammers] I… Yeah…
We're having a baby
and we just wanted to tell you two
so that we could sort this
and get back to normal.
Excuse me? Can anyone come
and take our drinks order, please?
Quite loud.
-[stammers]
-I'll bring you the wine list.
No need. Two bottles of red, thank you.
Uh, I'm not drinking. Thank you.
Me neither. In solidarity, you know?
Two bottles, thank you.
So, that's the news.
Mum. [stammers]
[chuckles]
Do you really want a baby?
Yeah.
Babies are a lot of work.
Think… I… I need you to… I just…
Can you just say that you're happy
for me, please? Can you just say it?
I'm happy if you're happy.
[inhales sharply] Thank you.
But you don't have to be in a relationship
just because you're having a baby.
Mum, I love Steve. I love him
and I want to do this with him.
Okay, fine.
-[Izzy] Okay?
-Yes. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
[stammers] And how are you feeling?
Any sickness?
Yeah, a bit.
Uh, no. Not yet.
Oh. Well, that's brilliant.
So lucky not to feel sick.
[inhales deeply, sighs]
I just want you both to know
that I will do everything
and anything it takes
to be the best father for this baby.
And, uh, we already know
that it's gonna have the best granny.
[Daniel clears throat]
When, uh… When's, uh… When's it due?
Our scan's this week actually.
-[Daniel] Wow. Wow.
-Oh, wow.
-[stammers]
-Sweet.
Be lovely to… [inhales deeply]
…have another little one
-running around the house.
-Yeah? [chuckles]
[Alice] Gosh.
[stammers, laughing]
[gasps] A… A baby?
[laughing, sobbing]
Happy… Happy tears.
[sobs] I should probably go to the loo.
Ooh, please. For the love of God,
please can you bring
two bottles of red wine to my table?
I'll pay you £100. £200. [sniffles]
I know it's really quick, Daniel,
but honestly, it feels like fate.
Yeah, no. It's… It's lovely.
Thanks, mate.
Uh, we thought of calling it Lenny
if it's a boy.
-Wow.
-[Izzy] That's cute.
-[Daniel] It is cute.
-And then if it's a girl,
we'll call it Shirley.
-Oh.
-[Steve] I know what you're thinking.
"Shirley, you can't be serious."
[stammers] The movie.
[sobs] Oh. Oh, God.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
[sobs] Oh, God.
[person] Sorry, are-are you okay?
Do you need help?
[chuckles] No.
It's too late.
[sobs] Oh, God. It's all too…
It's too late. [sobbing]
[Izzy] Mum!
[sniffles]
Mum?
-[Alice groans]
-Are you okay?
Yeah.
You sure?
Yeah. All good.
I know I'm young
but you were almost the same age
when you had me.
[Alice] Yep. I was.
-[Izzy] Yeah.
-[Alice sobs]
And you always say having me
was the best decision you've ever made.
It was…
-quite hard--
-[hand dryer whirrs]
Sorry?
[person] Sorry, are-are you talking to me?
-No!
-No.
Mum, what did you say?
I sa… I said it was hard! [sighs]
I can do hard.
I wouldn't be here if you hadn't done it.
[sighs]
[sniffles]
[sighs]
I sort of hope it's a girl.
And it would be like you and me
against the universe.
You know I'm not your mate, don't you?
-Sorry?
-I always thought you were harmless.
I never found you as funny as Alice did,
but I liked that you made her happy.
But I'm starting to think
that there's a good chance
that you're a selfish person, Steve,
who doesn't care about anyone
but themselves.
And I'm kind of dreading the fact
that I'm going to have to spend
every Christmas with you until I die.
Hey.
-[Steve] Hey.
-[Alice, Izzy] Hey.
-Everything okay?
-Yeah.
Great.
Just planning Christmas.
[Izzy] I think we'll stay in Steve's flat
probably until the baby's at least one.
Uh, we like the idea of
attachment parenting.
And I think we want a home birth.
Um, I like the idea of
having the baby in water.
Did you have a natural birth, Mum?
No. I had an epidural.
Any excuse for some drugs, am I right?
Not really. We tend to have
big babies in our family.
[Izzy] Oh, really?
I had the full Spice Girl.
When, um, two become one.
When you rip all the way from, um,
the vagina to the anus.
[Steve] Mmm.
Mmm.
[inhales deeply] Oh,
I just remembered we have to pick up
my, uh, parents from the airport.
What… You… Your parents are here?
Yeah, they're doing a tour
of European railways.
Mmm. Toot, toot. [chuckles]
Let's go.
She's not ready for a baby.
Maybe you should tell her
how hard it was for you?
I can't do that. She'd hate me forever.
"Oh-Oh, sorry. Sorry, darling,
but having a baby so young
was the worst decision I ever made
and for the first six weeks
I-I dreamt of nothing but dropping you off
at a Russian orphanage and pretending
I'd found you in the street.
Like, I couldn't go out,
I-I felt no human connection
to you whatsoever
and-and for years and years
no one wanted to go out with me."
What do you mean
no one wanted to go out with you?
I wanted to go out with you.
No-No one else wanted to.
Oh, that's why you chose me,
because I was the only option?
No! I make your life more fun.
You make my life more manageable.
And one isn't better than the other.
And if you don't like it then, you know,
maybe you should, you know, just leave.
I think I've already done that, haven't I?
This isn't your bus stop.
The bus to your mum's
goes from the other side.
Yeah, I'm not going to my mum's.
I'll stay at my house.
If you're… If you're leaving me,
you should be the one to move out.
What do you… What do you mean--
She-She just didn't get on the plane?
No. She cancelled her ticket last week.
So, why didn't you tell…
You didn't think to tell me this, Dad?
Is she… Is she okay? Is there…
Is there something wrong with her?
Well, apart from selfishness
and a basic lack of interest
in locomotives.
Yeah, do you know they sat some
Indian fella beside me on the airplane--
-Uh… Uh… Uh, Dad, Dad.
-Wouldn't be surprised if I had Covid--
Um, guess what.
Izzy and I are having a baby.
Isn't-Isn't that lovely news?
Who's Izzy?
This is Izzy, remember?
I'm Izzy.
Remember from, uh…
from about three minutes ago?
What do you mean you're having a baby?
Uh, I'm pregnant.
Yeah, we're really happy.
What, with him?
Yes.
He-He got you pregnant?
Yes, Dad.
Well, when's the big day?
Uh… Um,
we're taking it one step at a time.
Oh, yeah. Marriage first
and then the baby.
Um, it's not 1950, Dad.
People don't care about
that kind of thing anymore.
Oh, oh, right.
So this one's gonna grow up knowing
that it's a bastard, hey. A mistake.
A happy accident.
Oh, well let's hope you have another one.
We always regretted having only the one.
You can see where I get my coolness from.
[chuckles]
Are you seriously
trying to get to the house first?
You're such a child, Alice.
[Alice groans]
If you've locked the door
I'm calling the police!
Oh.
[breathes heavily]
[exhales deeply]
I didn't wanna sleep with you anyway!
[sighs]
[orchestra playing "Only You"]
You're gonna be fine.
Yeah.
I think we've probably
been in a rut for ages
but just didn't notice.
I'm proud of you, Dan.
You're taking control.
I am, aren't I?
I am.
[school choir] All I needed
Was the love you gave ♪
All I needed for another day ♪
And all I ever knew ♪
Only you ♪
[music ends]
[person on television
speaking indistinctly]
What happened to the printer?
It broke.
[inhales deeply] Just… [mumbles]
How'd the interview go?
I couldn't print out my CV so I didn't go.
What you doing?
-I'm watching Pawn Stars.
-[Dom] Mmm.
This woman, she thought her tea cup
was worth $9000.
Turns out it's just a piece of crap.
[inhales sharply]
Shall we… Shall we go to yours?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Bye, Mum.
-[Alice] Mmm.
-[Dom breathes heavily]
-[Rome chuckles]
[kisses]
[sighs]
[breathing shakily]
Sorry.
Sorry. Can we stop for a second?
Of course, uh… What's wrong?
I, um… I need to go home.
[Rome] Why? What-What's happened?
I just can't be here.
What?
I, um, need to go home.
Why?
Stop! Talk to me.
Dom, what are you doing?
[pants] What the fuck was that?
What?
One minute you're kissing me,
and the next you've bolted out the door.
Are you okay?
I'm not leaving,
I-I just need to check on my mum!
Everything's fucked, okay!
My mum's drinking in the day,
my parents hate each other
and my sister is having a baby
with a fifty year old!
It feels like someone has
pressed a button and the world is ending!
It's-It's like in Terminator,
in the playground
and suddenly,
everyone's fucking faces are melting off!
Like no one has a face! It's all fucked!
Sorry.
[parent] Come on.
Thank you.
Tom, remember
we don't say these silly words…
I liked the bit
about our faces melting off.
[sighs]
Can we just, like, do nothing?
Nothing?
[chuckles] Yep.
Can we just like, do nothing at all?
Sure.
-That's great. Wow.
-[Steve] I guess having one client
-is better than no one.
-Isabelle Asher?
[Izzy] Yep.
[Steve] Holy shit,
we're about to see our baby.
Yeah.
That's baby's heartbeat.
-Just the one?
-[Izzy chuckles]
[doctor] Yep. Afraid so.
And do you want to find out
the gender or no?
Oh, I'm not twelve weeks yet,
can you do that?
Well, you're closer to sixteen.
What? No,
I've had my period between then and now.
That's probably
just implantation bleeding.
Could-Could the ba-baby
just be a fast grower?
[chuckles]
No.
But lucky you for whistling
right through to the second trimester.
You're into the easy stretch now.
So, do we want to find out the sex then,
Mummy and Daddy?
[Izzy] Yeah. Yes, please.
You are having a baby girl.
What?
I'm really sorry.
It's fine.
Daniel's always been my dad.
Yeah, I know. I know he has.
But if you do wanna end this,
then, yeah, I-I understand.
No, I want this.
I'm scared that you won't want this.
I-I want this. [inhales sharply]
Okay, great.
Do you want me to come in with you, or…
No. I think
I should probably do this by myself.
Yeah.
Okay. Good luck.
Izzy!
Please don't go back to him.
I won't.
Hey, Tiger. It's nice to see you.
[breathes shakily] I'm pregnant.
Say that again for me?
I'm pregnant. It's yours.
And, uh, I'm gonna have it.
[no audible dialogue]
[sighs]
[engine starts]
-Okay?
-Yep.
[tyres squeal]
I think we should get married.
What?
I wanna marry you.
I don't understand.
I love you, Izzy. I really love you and I…
Actually I think you are
the best person that I've ever met.
And I would like to be a family with you
and eat spaghetti vongole and… [sniffles]
…teach little Shirley how to swim.
And I don't care
that she's not biologically mine.
In fact maybe that's even better
because she and I will be a chosen family.
And I know I'm old but I will love you
so hard and so completely
and w-when I'm too old,
you can put me in a home
-and marry someone younger.
-[chuckles]
But I love you
and I would like to marry you.
Would you like to marry me, too?
Yes.
-Okay, great.
-[chuckles]
Great.
Great.
[person on television
speaking indistinctly]
["Archie, Marry Me" playing]
[phone chimes]
[sobs] No!
You've expressed explicitly ♪
Your contempt for matrimony ♪
You've student loans to pay ♪
And will not risk the alimony ♪
Hey, hey ♪
Marry me, Archie ♪
Hey, hey ♪
Marry me, Archie ♪
[speaking indistinctly]
Treasure each other.
It's the most important relationship
you'll ever have.
Thanks.
But don't sleep with
your mother's friends.
[chuckles]
[chuckles]
Reservation under Izzy Asher.
Does everyone get the door wrong?
No.
Oh. That-That's strange.
I actually designed the Shard so yeah,
they really messed your doors up.
Glad that none of
your other patrons noticed…
[chuckles] I thought I was meeting Izzy.
Me too.
[clears throat]
-Is she parent trapping us?
-It seems so.
If only I had a butler
and you had a winery.
I don't understand.
[laughs] If we do break up,
which child do you want?
We both want Dom, don't we?
I need a drink.
This is ridiculous, isn't it?
What are we doing? It's been weeks.
And we're not even trying to fix it.
Don't you think
I should just move back in?
[sighs]
I don't even understand
what we are arguing about. Do you?
We're arguing about the fact
that you lied to me
and that you don't prioritise
our relationship.
Okay.
I'm not sure why I'm the one apologising.
I'm not the one who had
a strange woman over to our house.
[stammers] And there's… there's no way
you haven't lied to me once or twice--
No, she's not a strange woman
and I don't lie to you ever.
[Alice] Excuse me?
[stutters] I-I'm proud of the f…
Oh, tonight's not a parent trap.
Steve and Izzy are here.
Oh, amazing.
So, do they not have waiters
at this restaurant?
-Hey.
-Hey.
[Izzy] Okay.
So, um, sorry to have misled you both
about dinner,
but I think we all need to find a way
to get along.
Oh. Right. Sou… Sounds good.
Well, let's do that then.
[Daniel sighs]
Do we not worry about the fact that
he's destroyed my marriage and my job?
After you destroyed my job.
After you had sex with my child.
Adult… A… Adult child.
I think,
in the interest of moving forward,
you and I really need to bury the hatchet.
-That's racist.
-Is it?
-I don't know.
-[Alice] Well,
you're using a Native American term,
"Bury the hatchet."
That's racist. I should know
because I got fired for being a racist.
-Okay, there actually was a racist--
-Apparently that's my thing--
Okay, stop!
We're having a baby.
You're…
-Sorry?
-You two… You're…
-I think you're… you-you should… you…
-[stammers] I… Yeah…
We're having a baby
and we just wanted to tell you two
so that we could sort this
and get back to normal.
Excuse me? Can anyone come
and take our drinks order, please?
Quite loud.
-[stammers]
-I'll bring you the wine list.
No need. Two bottles of red, thank you.
Uh, I'm not drinking. Thank you.
Me neither. In solidarity, you know?
Two bottles, thank you.
So, that's the news.
Mum. [stammers]
[chuckles]
Do you really want a baby?
Yeah.
Babies are a lot of work.
Think… I… I need you to… I just…
Can you just say that you're happy
for me, please? Can you just say it?
I'm happy if you're happy.
[inhales sharply] Thank you.
But you don't have to be in a relationship
just because you're having a baby.
Mum, I love Steve. I love him
and I want to do this with him.
Okay, fine.
-[Izzy] Okay?
-Yes. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
[stammers] And how are you feeling?
Any sickness?
Yeah, a bit.
Uh, no. Not yet.
Oh. Well, that's brilliant.
So lucky not to feel sick.
[inhales deeply, sighs]
I just want you both to know
that I will do everything
and anything it takes
to be the best father for this baby.
And, uh, we already know
that it's gonna have the best granny.
[Daniel clears throat]
When, uh… When's, uh… When's it due?
Our scan's this week actually.
-[Daniel] Wow. Wow.
-Oh, wow.
-[stammers]
-Sweet.
Be lovely to… [inhales deeply]
…have another little one
-running around the house.
-Yeah? [chuckles]
[Alice] Gosh.
[stammers, laughing]
[gasps] A… A baby?
[laughing, sobbing]
Happy… Happy tears.
[sobs] I should probably go to the loo.
Ooh, please. For the love of God,
please can you bring
two bottles of red wine to my table?
I'll pay you £100. £200. [sniffles]
I know it's really quick, Daniel,
but honestly, it feels like fate.
Yeah, no. It's… It's lovely.
Thanks, mate.
Uh, we thought of calling it Lenny
if it's a boy.
-Wow.
-[Izzy] That's cute.
-[Daniel] It is cute.
-And then if it's a girl,
we'll call it Shirley.
-Oh.
-[Steve] I know what you're thinking.
"Shirley, you can't be serious."
[stammers] The movie.
[sobs] Oh. Oh, God.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
[sobs] Oh, God.
[person] Sorry, are-are you okay?
Do you need help?
[chuckles] No.
It's too late.
[sobs] Oh, God. It's all too…
It's too late. [sobbing]
[Izzy] Mum!
[sniffles]
Mum?
-[Alice groans]
-Are you okay?
Yeah.
You sure?
Yeah. All good.
I know I'm young
but you were almost the same age
when you had me.
[Alice] Yep. I was.
-[Izzy] Yeah.
-[Alice sobs]
And you always say having me
was the best decision you've ever made.
It was…
-quite hard--
-[hand dryer whirrs]
Sorry?
[person] Sorry, are-are you talking to me?
-No!
-No.
Mum, what did you say?
I sa… I said it was hard! [sighs]
I can do hard.
I wouldn't be here if you hadn't done it.
[sighs]
[sniffles]
[sighs]
I sort of hope it's a girl.
And it would be like you and me
against the universe.
You know I'm not your mate, don't you?
-Sorry?
-I always thought you were harmless.
I never found you as funny as Alice did,
but I liked that you made her happy.
But I'm starting to think
that there's a good chance
that you're a selfish person, Steve,
who doesn't care about anyone
but themselves.
And I'm kind of dreading the fact
that I'm going to have to spend
every Christmas with you until I die.
Hey.
-[Steve] Hey.
-[Alice, Izzy] Hey.
-Everything okay?
-Yeah.
Great.
Just planning Christmas.
[Izzy] I think we'll stay in Steve's flat
probably until the baby's at least one.
Uh, we like the idea of
attachment parenting.
And I think we want a home birth.
Um, I like the idea of
having the baby in water.
Did you have a natural birth, Mum?
No. I had an epidural.
Any excuse for some drugs, am I right?
Not really. We tend to have
big babies in our family.
[Izzy] Oh, really?
I had the full Spice Girl.
When, um, two become one.
When you rip all the way from, um,
the vagina to the anus.
[Steve] Mmm.
Mmm.
[inhales deeply] Oh,
I just remembered we have to pick up
my, uh, parents from the airport.
What… You… Your parents are here?
Yeah, they're doing a tour
of European railways.
Mmm. Toot, toot. [chuckles]
Let's go.
She's not ready for a baby.
Maybe you should tell her
how hard it was for you?
I can't do that. She'd hate me forever.
"Oh-Oh, sorry. Sorry, darling,
but having a baby so young
was the worst decision I ever made
and for the first six weeks
I-I dreamt of nothing but dropping you off
at a Russian orphanage and pretending
I'd found you in the street.
Like, I couldn't go out,
I-I felt no human connection
to you whatsoever
and-and for years and years
no one wanted to go out with me."
What do you mean
no one wanted to go out with you?
I wanted to go out with you.
No-No one else wanted to.
Oh, that's why you chose me,
because I was the only option?
No! I make your life more fun.
You make my life more manageable.
And one isn't better than the other.
And if you don't like it then, you know,
maybe you should, you know, just leave.
I think I've already done that, haven't I?
This isn't your bus stop.
The bus to your mum's
goes from the other side.
Yeah, I'm not going to my mum's.
I'll stay at my house.
If you're… If you're leaving me,
you should be the one to move out.
What do you… What do you mean--
She-She just didn't get on the plane?
No. She cancelled her ticket last week.
So, why didn't you tell…
You didn't think to tell me this, Dad?
Is she… Is she okay? Is there…
Is there something wrong with her?
Well, apart from selfishness
and a basic lack of interest
in locomotives.
Yeah, do you know they sat some
Indian fella beside me on the airplane--
-Uh… Uh… Uh, Dad, Dad.
-Wouldn't be surprised if I had Covid--
Um, guess what.
Izzy and I are having a baby.
Isn't-Isn't that lovely news?
Who's Izzy?
This is Izzy, remember?
I'm Izzy.
Remember from, uh…
from about three minutes ago?
What do you mean you're having a baby?
Uh, I'm pregnant.
Yeah, we're really happy.
What, with him?
Yes.
He-He got you pregnant?
Yes, Dad.
Well, when's the big day?
Uh… Um,
we're taking it one step at a time.
Oh, yeah. Marriage first
and then the baby.
Um, it's not 1950, Dad.
People don't care about
that kind of thing anymore.
Oh, oh, right.
So this one's gonna grow up knowing
that it's a bastard, hey. A mistake.
A happy accident.
Oh, well let's hope you have another one.
We always regretted having only the one.
You can see where I get my coolness from.
[chuckles]
Are you seriously
trying to get to the house first?
You're such a child, Alice.
[Alice groans]
If you've locked the door
I'm calling the police!
Oh.
[breathes heavily]
[exhales deeply]
I didn't wanna sleep with you anyway!
[sighs]
[orchestra playing "Only You"]
You're gonna be fine.
Yeah.
I think we've probably
been in a rut for ages
but just didn't notice.
I'm proud of you, Dan.
You're taking control.
I am, aren't I?
I am.
[school choir] All I needed
Was the love you gave ♪
All I needed for another day ♪
And all I ever knew ♪
Only you ♪
[music ends]
[person on television
speaking indistinctly]
What happened to the printer?
It broke.
[inhales deeply] Just… [mumbles]
How'd the interview go?
I couldn't print out my CV so I didn't go.
What you doing?
-I'm watching Pawn Stars.
-[Dom] Mmm.
This woman, she thought her tea cup
was worth $9000.
Turns out it's just a piece of crap.
[inhales sharply]
Shall we… Shall we go to yours?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Bye, Mum.
-[Alice] Mmm.
-[Dom breathes heavily]
-[Rome chuckles]
[kisses]
[sighs]
[breathing shakily]
Sorry.
Sorry. Can we stop for a second?
Of course, uh… What's wrong?
I, um… I need to go home.
[Rome] Why? What-What's happened?
I just can't be here.
What?
I, um, need to go home.
Why?
Stop! Talk to me.
Dom, what are you doing?
[pants] What the fuck was that?
What?
One minute you're kissing me,
and the next you've bolted out the door.
Are you okay?
I'm not leaving,
I-I just need to check on my mum!
Everything's fucked, okay!
My mum's drinking in the day,
my parents hate each other
and my sister is having a baby
with a fifty year old!
It feels like someone has
pressed a button and the world is ending!
It's-It's like in Terminator,
in the playground
and suddenly,
everyone's fucking faces are melting off!
Like no one has a face! It's all fucked!
Sorry.
[parent] Come on.
Thank you.
Tom, remember
we don't say these silly words…
I liked the bit
about our faces melting off.
[sighs]
Can we just, like, do nothing?
Nothing?
[chuckles] Yep.
Can we just like, do nothing at all?
Sure.
-That's great. Wow.
-[Steve] I guess having one client
-is better than no one.
-Isabelle Asher?
[Izzy] Yep.
[Steve] Holy shit,
we're about to see our baby.
Yeah.
That's baby's heartbeat.
-Just the one?
-[Izzy chuckles]
[doctor] Yep. Afraid so.
And do you want to find out
the gender or no?
Oh, I'm not twelve weeks yet,
can you do that?
Well, you're closer to sixteen.
What? No,
I've had my period between then and now.
That's probably
just implantation bleeding.
Could-Could the ba-baby
just be a fast grower?
[chuckles]
No.
But lucky you for whistling
right through to the second trimester.
You're into the easy stretch now.
So, do we want to find out the sex then,
Mummy and Daddy?
[Izzy] Yeah. Yes, please.
You are having a baby girl.
What?
I'm really sorry.
It's fine.
Daniel's always been my dad.
Yeah, I know. I know he has.
But if you do wanna end this,
then, yeah, I-I understand.
No, I want this.
I'm scared that you won't want this.
I-I want this. [inhales sharply]
Okay, great.
Do you want me to come in with you, or…
No. I think
I should probably do this by myself.
Yeah.
Okay. Good luck.
Izzy!
Please don't go back to him.
I won't.
Hey, Tiger. It's nice to see you.
[breathes shakily] I'm pregnant.
Say that again for me?
I'm pregnant. It's yours.
And, uh, I'm gonna have it.
[no audible dialogue]
[sighs]
[engine starts]
-Okay?
-Yep.
[tyres squeal]
I think we should get married.
What?
I wanna marry you.
I don't understand.
I love you, Izzy. I really love you and I…
Actually I think you are
the best person that I've ever met.
And I would like to be a family with you
and eat spaghetti vongole and… [sniffles]
…teach little Shirley how to swim.
And I don't care
that she's not biologically mine.
In fact maybe that's even better
because she and I will be a chosen family.
And I know I'm old but I will love you
so hard and so completely
and w-when I'm too old,
you can put me in a home
-and marry someone younger.
-[chuckles]
But I love you
and I would like to marry you.
Would you like to marry me, too?
Yes.
-Okay, great.
-[chuckles]
Great.
Great.
[person on television
speaking indistinctly]
["Archie, Marry Me" playing]
[phone chimes]
[sobs] No!
You've expressed explicitly ♪
Your contempt for matrimony ♪
You've student loans to pay ♪
And will not risk the alimony ♪
Hey, hey ♪
Marry me, Archie ♪
Hey, hey ♪
Marry me, Archie ♪