Boarders (2024) s01e05 Episode Script
Woop, Woop, That's the Sound of the Police
ORGAN MUSIC AND HUMMING
BEEP
Sir, I have Carol on line one.
BEEP
She says it's urgent.
Oh, for flip's sake.
Now is not convenient, Tiffany.
That woman will not ruin this day.
What the fuck is going on in
this backwards place, man?
Did you not even open your handbook?
It's, like, the most anticipated
event of the year.
Ooh, is the Duke of Edinburgh
coming?
You're an idiot, you know.
Bro, this is some Midsommar,
like, Wicker Man-type shit.
Proper human sacrifice and all that.
Why have you always got
so much to say? Come on.
ORGAN MUSIC
Erm Whose mixtape is this?
What the hell is he wearing?
I don't know.
It's kind of working, though.
Carruthers Challenge commence!
CHEERING
Yeah, they're going to kill us.
Did you drug me or something?
Er, no.
You had shrooms, remember?
Wait, did we fall asleep together?
Oh, I swear to God, if you say
anything to anyone about this,
I'll nail your balls to the
notice board. Of course not, Rupert.
Rupert. I just know you
want to slip one in
and I can't be giving you
such easy access, can I?
You wish. Like I'd want
to touch your arsehole
when I know your bathroom routine.
Well, come on, spray up.
It's Carruthers Day.
Come on, we're going to be late.
For generations, Carruthers
Challenge has showcased the very
best of the future
leaders of this country,
who hail from our
very own St Gilbert's.
They show us their endurance,
their grit, their selflessness.
Nice of you to join us, lover boys.
LAUGHTER
I will deal with both of you later,
just as Lord Carruthers did
when he sacrificed his left foot
to win the Battle of Coventry.
His foot? So, every single
winner of the Carruthers Challenge
goes on to achieve a reputation
at St Gilbert's that goes on
way past their graduation.
Because this is more than a
competition.
This is a legacy.
This could be the making of you.
So, I encourage as many of you
sixth formers as possible to take
part and let us see what
you are really made of.
Mrs Goodlow.
For those who are brave
enough to compete,
today will push you to your limits,
physically and mentally.
You'll have to overcome
not just your opponents,
not just your team-mates,
but yourselves.
The rules are simple.
In teams of three, find the Pip,
retrieve the ceremonial boot,
and cross the line unscathed.
If at any point you are hit,
you drop your weapon
and you can only play defence.
You may be a team,
but there can only be one winner.
And how you decide who crosses
the line with the boot
is none of my concern. Clear?
ALL: Clear!
What is a Pip?
A ceremonial what?
Good luck.
And to the victor
..go the spoils!
CHEERING
Oi!
Are you two still sulking?
You guys still haven't
told me about the party.
I'm so gutted I missed it.
God, I love shrooms.
Bet it was stupid fun.
It was fine. Fine.
I hear you hooked up with
Toby again, Abs.
Did you know about this, Flo?
Hm-mm.
Well, anyway, I came up with
a new team name for us.
It's FAB - it's Florence, Abby,
Beatrix.
God knows how I came up with it,
but I really love it.
We will get the boot this year.
A whole day with zero classes
and you still want to
do some organised shit.
It will be fun!
I bet you're up for it, Flo.
Babe, I'm broken.
Then we'll help you, won't we, Abs?
I think that's the least
that you can do.
Anyway, I have already signed us up,
so there is that.
No, you have fucking not!
You've done what?
Oh, come on, ladies.
The three of us, together again.
We will be unstoppable.
Come on!
Why are you so happy? Ugh.
Felix is defending his crown.
These are all of the different
winners of the Carruthers Challenge.
It looks about white.
It looks a little male-only too.
Look, we've got to get me
across the line with that boot.
"We"? Yeah.
Uh Are you speaking French?
Cos "we" ain't got to do anything,
all right?
Listen, I'm done dealing with this
higgidy-haggedy system.
Higgidy-haggedy? Yes.
All right, you know
this shit ain't for us.
A Pip and some dusty old boot
somebody cut some of his foot off?
No, he didn't cut his
foot off for the boot.
It was the boot he was wearing
when he cut his foot off.
As in the motherfucker in
the cotton-picking painting.
As in the founder of this school.
Yo, Jaheim, focus.
Jaheim!
Look, I'm going to be honest
with you right now -
I don't care, all right?
Of course you don't.
Jaheim. Jaheim, wait!
Look, all right, any time
I involve myself with this place
or anybody in it, it blows
up in my face, all right?
I'm not giving any of myself to
this school no more. I'm done.
I'm keeping my head down.
But the prestige.
Imagine one of our black
faces in that book.
Ah, look. Hey, hey, Mabel!
Why don't you sign up with
Mabel and, you know,
topple the patriarchy
and all that, yeah.
That is actually a really good idea.
How about it, Mabes? This could
be the year of the female.
We could 100% win if
we just strategise.
I'll do the running. Oh
I actually already have a team.
But good luck, though.
LAUGHTER
There's his girlfriend!
There she is!
Look who it is!
LAUGHTER
Koku! Koku!
You fucked him, didn't you?
II cannot let him win.
Ahhh!
You are so jarring, you know that?
Right, I'll help you out now.
I'll play your stupid little game,
but I'm not ruining my Air Forces
for this shit, all right?
You are the best!
What about Toby as our third?
There's no prize money, Toby.
Yeah, but that trophy's
got to be worth something.
Hmm. Maybe.
PHONE CHIMES
Femi-Femi-Femininity, feminine
darling energy, queen, er Yeah.
What's up, guys? You good?
Listen, erm, Toes has the shits.
Really bad. Erm
But that means that Graham and I
are looking for a third. You in?
No, you're all right.
I'm with these lot.
Oh. OK. Suit yourself.
Hrm-hrm.
I can be your third.
Erm
Is that you, yeah, Xiang?
I know I don't look impressive
or physically strong or
All right, get along
with the pitch, bro.
..but I actually am fast,
and loyal, and I'm smart.
And I know where the Pip might hide.
What is a Pip, bro?
Please, please, please?
Fine. Bro What?
What? He seems like
he knows his stuff.
Listen, have you seen this
guy's legs? He can't run.
He's a keyboard warrior.
Who else have we got?
Come on, let's go.
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
Yes. Yes!
XIANG CHUCKLES
It'd just be good to get you there
early so we can, erm, do a few
pieces to camera and, you know, have
you greet the kids as they arrive.
What's this?
In the back.
Hello, Stanley.
Oh, hey. So glad I caught you.
Busy, busy today, I know, I know.
I won't keep you long. Yeah.
I brought cupcakes.
Oh, why, thank you.
Do you have that list I asked for,
of the students who stayed
on the grounds over exeat?
Yes, yes, they're, yeah
Er
There you go. Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Just as I thought.
Yeah. If you could bring
the following names
to the main office
Hmm, of course.
Bro, come on.
What do you mean, "Come on"?
It's made of gold.
Toby, help me out here. No, no, I
doubt that the trophy is solid gold.
OK.
Hey, Dilton.
What's that about?
Yeah, um,
I might have messed that one up.
And my chances with the Raisinettes.
Oh, my God.
Ooh, trouble in paradise?
Bro, it's not like that.
You know he liked you. Yeah, I know.
It's justtwo friends needed help
and I had to make a tough call.
Him and?
Oh.
Don't be dumb, we just
slept together. Fire. Huh?
Not like that.
We just slept together.
Yeah, full fire. No, we just
fell asleep at the same time.
So, it was you that was
with my boyfriend.
He didn't pick up any of my calls.
No, look. Rupert isn't gay.
And I would never do that, Florence.
I'm joking, Omar.
I swear you're blushing.
Black people nah blush.
What are you going
to do about Dilton?
I don't know, I might just leave it.
You proper wanted to
be in the Raisinettes
and you blew that off for Rupert?
Man, just chat to this
Dilton brother.
I'm with Toby on that. Mm.
Apologise.
I think he'll understand.
Mr Adebayo, Mr Palmer-Grace
and Mr Staithes,
you must report to the
main office immediately.
Come with me. Come on.
Come on, let's go.
What's What's going on?
MURMURING
Shit
Uh-oh.
Carol!
Hi. Oh, Florence!
Oh, God, so beautiful.
Turn 18 and get married already
so I can call you daughter.
Um, I I thought they stopped
parents observing the challenge.
Oh, yes, I won't be going
anywhere near the field.
Well, darling, you
were probably in town
during all of this
commotion over exeat,
but someone brought
drugs onto school grounds
and then there was a fire.
God. Nothing to worry your
gorgeous little head about.
Ohhh, couple goals, am I right?
Ha-ha!
Aww.
Bye. Bye.
What is your mum doing here?
Oh, hi to you too.
I have a really bad
feeling about this.
I think they know about the shrooms.
How would they have found out?
Who cares? It's fine.
I mean, the worst that happens is we
get one day of overs. It's fine.
Well, we should tell the others,
so we're all on the same page.
On the same page? What? And how do
you know one of them won't snitch?
Well, Omar definitely wouldn't.
He's like your bestie, right?
You guys, like, sleep together.
No, we fucking don't.
What are you talking about?
Sleep in the same room.
Surely that counts for something.
I'm not fucking five years old.
I don't have any best mates.
He's a roommate at best.
OK, I was joking. I don't know what
Omar's been telling you, but I was
high as hell on those shrooms,
all right?
Omar hasn't said anything,
so why don't you relax, hon?
God forbid you have a friendship
with someone who actually
gives a shit about you.
Hear ye, hear ye, from Pip's hand
to journey's end,
you must evade the
wrath of thine enemy
and cross the line by eventide.
What the hell does that even mean?
HORN BLARES
What's with the likkle running yute?
HORN BLARES
The Pip is the fastest year
seven in the school.
He needs to survive all day
without getting caught.
It's brutal for them.
They get absolutely battered.
But they're children-children.
They've got the boot.
No head shots.
N-O head shots.
WHIRRING
Let the games begin!
Remember to always wear protection.
Let's go!
Kill, kill, kill!
Come on, hurry up. Bloody slow.
What are you doing? Get on there!
All right, let's go.
I'm low-key frightened, you know.
Come on, Flo, come on.
Take no prisoners, boys.
No mercy, no surrender!
Hey, Abs, cover my back. Cover me!
Ride or die!
Yeah, boy! All right, all right.
Let's go. Go, man.
So, what is it this time?
They taken the ketamine
from the horses again?
There was a fire, Barry.
They're out of control, these kids.
Oh, wow. They're cooking meth, then.
We need to nip it in the bud now
before it escalates.
Do you need anything from
from me, Carol?
SHOUTING
Over there!
Ouch, got me in the eye!
And as soon as I see
that bitch of a boy,
I'm aiming for his dick and balls.
Damn, Leah, dick and balls,
that's kind of crazy.
Yeah, well, he's a prick and
you shouldn't be backing him.
Listen, I don't know
the bruddah like you do,
but still, dick and balls
is kind of mad.
It's like all you bruddahs
think with is your dicks.
And as soon as that gets wet,
you miraculously and audaciously
lose any sense and logic
you might have had.
Look, I'm going to be 100% honest
with you right now,
I don't know what the fuck
you're talking about.
I'm talking about how you boys act
one way until you get what you want
and then it's complete, like, 360.
You mean, 180.
I-Ithink.
Listen, yeah, I don't know what
that Koku brother did to install
this much anger inside you, yeah,
but listen, that bruddah showed you
what he was like from day dot,
I'm telling you. Bro, this is
a different world he's from.
They're all from this world, like.
If you're trying to find
understanding here, then sorry, B,
but you're not finding that.
Different world or not,
still, dick and balls.
It's easier to hold someone else
accountable than yourself, so
Ho-ho, Xiang with the bars, yeah!
Shhh!
What? Can we please just
be quick and quiet?
I think I know where the Pip is.
No, I saw Koku's fat head
go that way.
Let's take him out.
I thought you wanted to win.
Sounds like somebody's
got other intentions.
Wellobviously I want to win,
it's just, like
..we've just got to
take out the competition.
I don't know about you, bro,
but it sounds like somebody doesn't
want to take accountability.
He's got a point.
What?
XIANG TUTS AND SIGHS
What, bro?
Swear to God,
you lot annoying as hell, bro.
So, we have brought you Ahem.
So you're aware, this isn't
an interview, it's just a chat.
You're free to leave at any time.
Yeah.
As a young black man,
I'm well versed in such proceedings.
Well, it's come to my attention
that there was a fire
started on school grounds
and we suspect it was due to the
manipulation of illegal substances.
We're talking about meth.
Mm, now, if someone was
cooking up meth, I'd want to know
if it was for personal
use or distribution.
Bro, what are you talking about?
Man, that's that white people shit.
How do you explain this? Hmm?
HE SNIGGERS
Is that Is that weed oil?
The fact that you know what it is
isn't helping your case here,
young man.
This is an arrestable offence.
Why do you reckon we're here?
Do you think it's
because of the weed?
Or the shrooms?
Could it be the fire?
Argh, I can't believe
you got me into this.
Sorry, what?
I wouldn't have been there
if you lot weren't so
So? So, what, Femi?
I shouldn't have been there.
Well, sorry for
extending the invite.
Sorry for trying to
bond with you people.
"You people"? Yeah?
Femi, are you for real right now?
It doesn't matter how many
polo shirts you buy,
you will never be one of them, Femi.
That's why they bailed on you.
FEMI CHUCKLES
Bailed on ME?
Sorry, er, where's
your mate, Rupert? Hmm?
Funny how him and his girlfriend -
who brought the drugs - aren't here,
but you are.
And you're making it out
like I'm the naive one.
Ori e o pe.
FEMI SUCKS TEETH
Did you know that in this town
alone, there are over 5,000 opiate
and heroin and crack users?
That's double the
national average, you know.
And you come in here,
talking to me about weed.
It's still a class B drug.
That?
This?
This isn't even a pack.
It's probably some medicinal
shit or something.
Sorry for swearing
..but, I mean
I wouldn't know about that.
You're so full of shit, Jaheim.
I thought you said you were going
to help me win. What the hell?
Oh whatever, man.
Listen, this game is rigged anyway.
It's not meant for us to win.
Oh, shocker - same shitty attitude
you've had all term.
Why are you even here if you're not
going to try and that? Oh, my God,
shut up and listen, yeah?
Cos if you would've let me land,
I would've said it's not meant
for us to win because it's meant for
the people that were born in this.
It's meant for the men that have
this in their flipping back garden.
Look.
What?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm just trying to make the game
a bit more fair, innit?
In fact, think your boy, Koku,
ain't too far from here
Wait, Jaheim
You hacked the drone?
Yes, I did.
Oh, my God.
I could fucking kiss you right now.
Well, don't do that.
Haaa! You could kiss me.
Would you keep up?
Is her foot even broken?
Huh.
I think we should go right.
We can gain higher ground.
Last year, the Pip was
found by the river.
OK, so?
So, it's always there.
This isn't news, hon.
Maybe shit is different now.
Deal with it.
Let's just try something else
and be done with this.
What, so you can get back
to your new best friend
and swap fucking haircare secrets?
ABBY GASPS
Get over yourself, Markle.
You can't say shit like that.
I always say shit like that,
but suddenly, I'm a bitch,
it's a problem, I'm ignorant.
You are ignorant.
Name one ignorant thing
I have ever done to you.
I'm not sitting here tallying
your indiscretions, Florence.
Clearly you are, Abby, because
you've been acting like a stuck-up
bitch ever since you remembered
you were bla
I dare you to finish that.
One ignorant thing. Go on. OK.
That stupid joke you made about
Jaheim's dick taking out
a whole village.
That was Beatrix!
Well, he was wearing grey
fucking shorts.
I know a prominent dick
outline when I see one.
You call me exotic-looking
whenever I put on eyeliner.
You say my hair is wild
when I haven't pulled it back!
Girls! You asked me once
if I knew Swahili.
Swahili, Florence!
Girls! I found the fucking Pip!
Please don't shoot me.
That depends on one thing.
Hand us the boot.
Bitch!
Weed, Carol. Really?
Remind me of your badge number,
kind sir.
Barry, trust me,
let's cut this one loose.
I know I can get something
out of one of the other ones.
I promise there's more than
weed at play here.
We just have to find it.
DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING
There's no need to be scared.
I'm not scared. I just don't know
what I'm doing here.
I get it.
No snitch, no stitch. Right?
We want to get this sorted
out quickly and internally.
It's how we do things
here at St Gilbert's.
No-one needs to know.
Or we call your parents.
What do you say?
What the fuck have you been
saying to Florence? What?
Why have you been running your
mouth? Rupert, I don't have time
for this right now. No, no, no, no.
No, get off! I'm about to be
questioned by the police. What?
Presumably over your girlfriend's
drugs. So chill.
Shit.
Police?
Shit, I'm sorry.
I had no idea.
You take the left.
You, right. Come here.
Let's do this.
Move out.
Back up. Back up.
Guns on the ground.
Don't move.
Back off.
LAUGHTER
We don't want to ruin your pretty
little outfits,
so why not give up the boot, eh?
GUNFIRE
Ooh! Ooh!
Whoo! Brap, brap, brap, brap, brap!
That's what you get, bitch! Bitch!
Whoo! Asshole. Whoo!
Too busy hunting me down.
Didn't realise you got shot too.
What?
Mabel.
Hi.
You shot me. Wagwan?
Nothing wagwan, Leah. It's a game.
Yeah, right, as if it's not about
this fat forehead prick.
Well, maybe if you were thinking
about someone other than him,
you wouldn't have been shot.
Oh, so it is about
the limp dick prick.
I'm right here. I know.
Mabel, I apologised. Barely.
You said we'd talk about it later
and we never did
because you're all about you
and all your shit.
You didn't even
check in to see how I felt.
Well, I'm sorry if I had to cleanse
my body from the Uncle Tom
I let inside of me.
Again, all about you.
And Jesus Christ, Mabel,
you are so fucking needy!
What? Yes. Me?! You.
Needy?! Needy. Shut up!
Leah, you got shot but we didn't.
We're still playing.
I drop everything to help you
and I'm needy?
Fuck you.
Mabel, I didn't mean
Show's over, Little Mix.
Hand over the boot or
we will empty our loads
..from the paintball gun.
Fuck me.
Do you know what?
Yeah, you can just have it.
It was your idea to play this
fucking game!
I just wanted us
to spend some time together
but instead, all we've done is
assassinate each other's characters
and I, I hate it!
You are both being selfish,
self-centred little hags
and it stops now.
Just stop being little shits
and apologise!
Sorry.
MUMBLES: Sorry.
Oh! Properly!
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean anything I said.
I was just upset cos it's like you
found Leah and suddenly,
we didn't matter any more.
Just because me and Leah are friends
does not mean that you two
are not my bitches.
I would never say anything
to hurt you.
Well, I can just be an insensitive
jealous dick sometimes
butI love you.
You're the most beautiful girl
I know.
I love you too.
I'm sorry I've been distant,
and I am sorry about your foot.
It's all right. It's not like you
did it on purpose.
Abby, you sadistic cow.
LAUGHS
In all honesty,
it's not even broken.
Oh, yeah, we know.
We know.
I love you bitches.
I love you too. Slag.
THEY GIGGLE
And I love you both.
You whores! Oh!
Sowe can have the boot? Xiang.
Uh, hey! Bitches, slags, whores,
yeah, whatever.
Um, quick question - cos you guys
aren't playing any more
and we are, could we maybe,
you know, have the boot, please?
We, we, we don't have to
have that one.
We can go and find
another one, right?
But just that one on your shoulder
would do very nicely, please.
Please.
Thank you.
CHANTING: Carruthers! Carruthers!
Carruthers!
Right, uh, well done, everyone.
That was very touching. Let's go.
Take one for the team.
No, it's not really about winning
though, is it?
It's about the power of friendship.
I feel like no-one's
listening to me.
Fab-a-lab-a-ding-dong.
Fuck's sake. Sorry, girls.
GUNFIRE, GIRLS SCREAM
Good luck. Yeah.
How you doing?
Someone's got to win soon. Yeah.
How was it? Did you find the Pip?
SHE SOBS
Tears of joy. Yeah. Hmm.
PHONE BUZZES
Hello?
Well, of course I'm hard to reach,
Tiffany.
I'm in the middle of nowhere.
What?!
I can't believe they're still
getting away with this shit.
Getting away with what?
The whole strip search thing, right?
I mean, clearly that's what
they're doing in there.
I'veI've never been stopped
by the police before.
Look, if I know anything about
school policy, and trust me,
I know school policy,
they've already
searched your room for drugs and
obviously found nothing in there,
right? So
Right. The easiest thing for you to
do is just show them
that you have nothing on you.
How do I do that?
OK. Um
..just unturn your pockets so they
can see there's nothing there.
See? There you go. Yeah.
Nothing there.
Thanks.
Right. Ah, but, no, you might have
something strapped around here,
so, you're going to have to take
that off. Yeah.
Take it off. I'm being serious.
OK.
Someone had drugs on school
grounds over exeat.
So, we have to call your parents so
we can get a drug test authorised.
Drug test?! Ke?!
Nah. Please. I-I
..I'll get sent to Nigeria!
Unless Unless what?
Well, unless we find who this
actually belongs to,
we have to assume it's you.
Google what he's saying.
Ooh, trainers too. Yeah, dealers
always have drugs in their trainers.
OK. Hm-mm.
Mm, socks too.
But can't they see an outline
through my socks?
Like, surely I don't need to do
this. No, no, no, no.
These days, dealers have all
sorts of hidden compartments.
Come on, socks off.
It's for your own good.
Quickly. Come on,
someone could come.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
What else?
Maybe the vest.
Or maybe, uh Whoa.
Tracksuit bottoms?
What? Fuck you doing? Fuck!
Huh? The vest too?
Ain't this what you want, Rupert?
Cos I can't see any reason why you'd
want this except to see my dick!
You're a fucking weirdo.
No, I'm a fucking idiot
ignoring what everyone
says about you.
Yeah? What's everyone saying?
You're a sociopathic, pathetic knob.
And that's without everyone
knowing about your daddy issues.
Yeah, that's funny that, I'm the
sociopath with the daddy issues,
yet you're the fucking loser
who could just about get me
to be his mate.
If playing with me gets your
sad little rocks off
..get your fill. I did.
Thank you.
What the hell is going on here?!
Carol, what have you done?
Shit.
The quickest route crosses paths
with Felix. But if we take
the longer route, they'll beat us
there and batter us
before we've even crossed the line.
Bro, where's all this negativity
coming from, man?
I'm just being real, Jaheim.
Listen, I did not come this far
just to lose, right?
I'm doing this for you two. So,
we'd better find a way around it.
Thanks for the positivity, Oprah,
but we will lose
because Felix is watching.
He's always watching.
I'm just going to run.
Give me the boot. What? No.
Give me the boot!
Give me the boot!
Stand by.
Get ready.
Aargh! Hold it! Go, go, go!
THEY SCREAM
Ow!
Urgh! Ow, ow, ow!
Well, well, well.
Looks like we've caught
ourselves a little whopper.
I've blown off three dicks today
and I will blow off three more.
No, I didn't I
I didn't, I didn't mean it like
that. You
You're out. Remember?
If you shoot us, your whole team
will be disqualified.
Bad luck.
Oh, and, uh, you were right.
I am always watching.
We know, you perv!
Well, yippee-ki-yay, motherfuckers!
CHEERING
Shit! Shit on it!
Yeah!
Fuck! Don't fucking touch me!
Yeah!
The police?!
Barry's hardly a SWAT team.
They're kids. There was a fire,
Bernard! Drugs!
There's always drugs!
It's a private sch
This is a private school,
not a monastery.
I told you I have a handle on it.
No, you don't.
I've got half a mind to call
the board and tell them
What? That you, uh, had three
underage kids questioned without
parental knowledge or
authorisation?
Get the hell out of my school.
It's only a matter of time before
everyone else sees what I can,
then you're gone.
DOOR SLAMS
BEEPS
Send him in, please.
Sit down.
Omar, I
..I have no words.
What Mrs Watlington-Geese
did to you was despicable
and I intend to
get to the bottom of it.
I don't want anyone to know.
It will just blow back on me.
No, I wouldn't let that happen.
Why don't you leave the matter
with me? And I promise
I willhave it resolved in
a timely and discreet manner.
Can I leave, please?
Of course.
Hey.
Dilton.
Don't you mean Rupert?
Honestly, I'm so sorry.
No, no, no. It's not your fault.
I'm the twat
cos I left my fate and
the Raisinettes on you.
It meant a lot to me, too.
More than you could imagine.
I can't imagine.
And I don't believe you.
Is this the champion chariot?
Yes, it is!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Oh
CHEERING
Yeah! Whoo!
Jaheim! Come on. That's my boy!
Yo, thank you for letting me get
past that line with the boot, man.
Only one winner.
I'm glad it was you.
Wait, what? Why are the police here?
What?
And the boys still haven't
messaged you back? No.
Thank you. Incredible.
Why don't this feel right, Jaheim?
Why were the police here?
Toby, Omar and Femi
weren't at the challenge.
Why?
That is none of your concern.
But it is my concern.
They're my friends.
Yes, and they're my students.
Was there anything else,
Miss Ashford?
SHE GASPS, SCOFFS
Sit down.
How did Carol get hold of this?
I've absolutely no idea, sir.
Well, first things first,
we need to contact Omar's parents.
We thought it might help for Preeya
and I to speak with them first.
From a PR standpoint,
it's important that we contain it.
Omar has decided he does not wish to
draw attention to the matter,
so, it's, it's best we don't, uh,
take it any further.
Let that be a relief to us all.
Uh, the school is currently going
through a difficult chapter,
so we think following all
procedures
and policies would
probably be best, B.
HE SIGHS
Fine.
But after the fundraiser.
That's weeks away.
Without donations, the school
cannot function,
and we certainly can't support
our new scholarship students.
Last thing I need right now is
our donors getting a whiff of yet
another shit storm.
PR aside, I mean, we just saw Omar,
we could at least
Listen, the children's wellbeing
is my job, not yours.
Of course.
Stanley, before the fundraiser,
I want you to search every dorm
and confiscate every piece
of contraband you can find.
I don't want to find so much as a
cough drop on the school grounds.
Understood? Of course.
We could take away their phones,
we could turn off the internet,
and that way, they won't be able to,
uh, contact their dealers.
Just a suggestion.
Good idea. Why not? B,
I know things can feel like
they're closing in on you
I promise you that this
issue will be resolved.
But right now, we need to ensure
that this fundraiser
goes without a hitch.
Is that clear? Yes, B.
Yes, Bernard. Yes, sir.
So, I told that copper,
I ain't no snitch.
You're a bloody rah'scal,
that's what.
ALL: Rah'scals, rah'scals,
rah'scals, rah'scals,
rha'scals, rha'scals, rha'scals!
ALL CHEER
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Omar, I just saw the police.
Where have you been all day?
What happened? Can we just leave it?
I can call Gus. Look, right? Listen
to me. Listen to me for once, right?
No, but if I just No, no, no, no.
Listen. Right? I'm not your child.
It's none of your business.
Sorry, but if I just call him
Look, leave it!
Right? Leave it.
I'm fine. I'm fucking fine!
Leave me alone.
# Sometimes since I last worked
# There's pressure on my backbone
# Slipped disc coming loose
On the trek home
# I'm not trying to arrive
With my head held low
# So I look to the sky
# When I'm feeling low
I take a flight inside my mind
# So I come back down
When the feeling's right
# It's all right
It's only me
# It's all right
It's only me
# It's all right
It's only me
# It's all right
It's only me
# It's all right she said
It's only me
# It's all right
It's only me
# It's all right she said
It's only me
# It's all right
It's only me #
BEEP
Sir, I have Carol on line one.
BEEP
She says it's urgent.
Oh, for flip's sake.
Now is not convenient, Tiffany.
That woman will not ruin this day.
What the fuck is going on in
this backwards place, man?
Did you not even open your handbook?
It's, like, the most anticipated
event of the year.
Ooh, is the Duke of Edinburgh
coming?
You're an idiot, you know.
Bro, this is some Midsommar,
like, Wicker Man-type shit.
Proper human sacrifice and all that.
Why have you always got
so much to say? Come on.
ORGAN MUSIC
Erm Whose mixtape is this?
What the hell is he wearing?
I don't know.
It's kind of working, though.
Carruthers Challenge commence!
CHEERING
Yeah, they're going to kill us.
Did you drug me or something?
Er, no.
You had shrooms, remember?
Wait, did we fall asleep together?
Oh, I swear to God, if you say
anything to anyone about this,
I'll nail your balls to the
notice board. Of course not, Rupert.
Rupert. I just know you
want to slip one in
and I can't be giving you
such easy access, can I?
You wish. Like I'd want
to touch your arsehole
when I know your bathroom routine.
Well, come on, spray up.
It's Carruthers Day.
Come on, we're going to be late.
For generations, Carruthers
Challenge has showcased the very
best of the future
leaders of this country,
who hail from our
very own St Gilbert's.
They show us their endurance,
their grit, their selflessness.
Nice of you to join us, lover boys.
LAUGHTER
I will deal with both of you later,
just as Lord Carruthers did
when he sacrificed his left foot
to win the Battle of Coventry.
His foot? So, every single
winner of the Carruthers Challenge
goes on to achieve a reputation
at St Gilbert's that goes on
way past their graduation.
Because this is more than a
competition.
This is a legacy.
This could be the making of you.
So, I encourage as many of you
sixth formers as possible to take
part and let us see what
you are really made of.
Mrs Goodlow.
For those who are brave
enough to compete,
today will push you to your limits,
physically and mentally.
You'll have to overcome
not just your opponents,
not just your team-mates,
but yourselves.
The rules are simple.
In teams of three, find the Pip,
retrieve the ceremonial boot,
and cross the line unscathed.
If at any point you are hit,
you drop your weapon
and you can only play defence.
You may be a team,
but there can only be one winner.
And how you decide who crosses
the line with the boot
is none of my concern. Clear?
ALL: Clear!
What is a Pip?
A ceremonial what?
Good luck.
And to the victor
..go the spoils!
CHEERING
Oi!
Are you two still sulking?
You guys still haven't
told me about the party.
I'm so gutted I missed it.
God, I love shrooms.
Bet it was stupid fun.
It was fine. Fine.
I hear you hooked up with
Toby again, Abs.
Did you know about this, Flo?
Hm-mm.
Well, anyway, I came up with
a new team name for us.
It's FAB - it's Florence, Abby,
Beatrix.
God knows how I came up with it,
but I really love it.
We will get the boot this year.
A whole day with zero classes
and you still want to
do some organised shit.
It will be fun!
I bet you're up for it, Flo.
Babe, I'm broken.
Then we'll help you, won't we, Abs?
I think that's the least
that you can do.
Anyway, I have already signed us up,
so there is that.
No, you have fucking not!
You've done what?
Oh, come on, ladies.
The three of us, together again.
We will be unstoppable.
Come on!
Why are you so happy? Ugh.
Felix is defending his crown.
These are all of the different
winners of the Carruthers Challenge.
It looks about white.
It looks a little male-only too.
Look, we've got to get me
across the line with that boot.
"We"? Yeah.
Uh Are you speaking French?
Cos "we" ain't got to do anything,
all right?
Listen, I'm done dealing with this
higgidy-haggedy system.
Higgidy-haggedy? Yes.
All right, you know
this shit ain't for us.
A Pip and some dusty old boot
somebody cut some of his foot off?
No, he didn't cut his
foot off for the boot.
It was the boot he was wearing
when he cut his foot off.
As in the motherfucker in
the cotton-picking painting.
As in the founder of this school.
Yo, Jaheim, focus.
Jaheim!
Look, I'm going to be honest
with you right now -
I don't care, all right?
Of course you don't.
Jaheim. Jaheim, wait!
Look, all right, any time
I involve myself with this place
or anybody in it, it blows
up in my face, all right?
I'm not giving any of myself to
this school no more. I'm done.
I'm keeping my head down.
But the prestige.
Imagine one of our black
faces in that book.
Ah, look. Hey, hey, Mabel!
Why don't you sign up with
Mabel and, you know,
topple the patriarchy
and all that, yeah.
That is actually a really good idea.
How about it, Mabes? This could
be the year of the female.
We could 100% win if
we just strategise.
I'll do the running. Oh
I actually already have a team.
But good luck, though.
LAUGHTER
There's his girlfriend!
There she is!
Look who it is!
LAUGHTER
Koku! Koku!
You fucked him, didn't you?
II cannot let him win.
Ahhh!
You are so jarring, you know that?
Right, I'll help you out now.
I'll play your stupid little game,
but I'm not ruining my Air Forces
for this shit, all right?
You are the best!
What about Toby as our third?
There's no prize money, Toby.
Yeah, but that trophy's
got to be worth something.
Hmm. Maybe.
PHONE CHIMES
Femi-Femi-Femininity, feminine
darling energy, queen, er Yeah.
What's up, guys? You good?
Listen, erm, Toes has the shits.
Really bad. Erm
But that means that Graham and I
are looking for a third. You in?
No, you're all right.
I'm with these lot.
Oh. OK. Suit yourself.
Hrm-hrm.
I can be your third.
Erm
Is that you, yeah, Xiang?
I know I don't look impressive
or physically strong or
All right, get along
with the pitch, bro.
..but I actually am fast,
and loyal, and I'm smart.
And I know where the Pip might hide.
What is a Pip, bro?
Please, please, please?
Fine. Bro What?
What? He seems like
he knows his stuff.
Listen, have you seen this
guy's legs? He can't run.
He's a keyboard warrior.
Who else have we got?
Come on, let's go.
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
Yes. Yes!
XIANG CHUCKLES
It'd just be good to get you there
early so we can, erm, do a few
pieces to camera and, you know, have
you greet the kids as they arrive.
What's this?
In the back.
Hello, Stanley.
Oh, hey. So glad I caught you.
Busy, busy today, I know, I know.
I won't keep you long. Yeah.
I brought cupcakes.
Oh, why, thank you.
Do you have that list I asked for,
of the students who stayed
on the grounds over exeat?
Yes, yes, they're, yeah
Er
There you go. Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Just as I thought.
Yeah. If you could bring
the following names
to the main office
Hmm, of course.
Bro, come on.
What do you mean, "Come on"?
It's made of gold.
Toby, help me out here. No, no, I
doubt that the trophy is solid gold.
OK.
Hey, Dilton.
What's that about?
Yeah, um,
I might have messed that one up.
And my chances with the Raisinettes.
Oh, my God.
Ooh, trouble in paradise?
Bro, it's not like that.
You know he liked you. Yeah, I know.
It's justtwo friends needed help
and I had to make a tough call.
Him and?
Oh.
Don't be dumb, we just
slept together. Fire. Huh?
Not like that.
We just slept together.
Yeah, full fire. No, we just
fell asleep at the same time.
So, it was you that was
with my boyfriend.
He didn't pick up any of my calls.
No, look. Rupert isn't gay.
And I would never do that, Florence.
I'm joking, Omar.
I swear you're blushing.
Black people nah blush.
What are you going
to do about Dilton?
I don't know, I might just leave it.
You proper wanted to
be in the Raisinettes
and you blew that off for Rupert?
Man, just chat to this
Dilton brother.
I'm with Toby on that. Mm.
Apologise.
I think he'll understand.
Mr Adebayo, Mr Palmer-Grace
and Mr Staithes,
you must report to the
main office immediately.
Come with me. Come on.
Come on, let's go.
What's What's going on?
MURMURING
Shit
Uh-oh.
Carol!
Hi. Oh, Florence!
Oh, God, so beautiful.
Turn 18 and get married already
so I can call you daughter.
Um, I I thought they stopped
parents observing the challenge.
Oh, yes, I won't be going
anywhere near the field.
Well, darling, you
were probably in town
during all of this
commotion over exeat,
but someone brought
drugs onto school grounds
and then there was a fire.
God. Nothing to worry your
gorgeous little head about.
Ohhh, couple goals, am I right?
Ha-ha!
Aww.
Bye. Bye.
What is your mum doing here?
Oh, hi to you too.
I have a really bad
feeling about this.
I think they know about the shrooms.
How would they have found out?
Who cares? It's fine.
I mean, the worst that happens is we
get one day of overs. It's fine.
Well, we should tell the others,
so we're all on the same page.
On the same page? What? And how do
you know one of them won't snitch?
Well, Omar definitely wouldn't.
He's like your bestie, right?
You guys, like, sleep together.
No, we fucking don't.
What are you talking about?
Sleep in the same room.
Surely that counts for something.
I'm not fucking five years old.
I don't have any best mates.
He's a roommate at best.
OK, I was joking. I don't know what
Omar's been telling you, but I was
high as hell on those shrooms,
all right?
Omar hasn't said anything,
so why don't you relax, hon?
God forbid you have a friendship
with someone who actually
gives a shit about you.
Hear ye, hear ye, from Pip's hand
to journey's end,
you must evade the
wrath of thine enemy
and cross the line by eventide.
What the hell does that even mean?
HORN BLARES
What's with the likkle running yute?
HORN BLARES
The Pip is the fastest year
seven in the school.
He needs to survive all day
without getting caught.
It's brutal for them.
They get absolutely battered.
But they're children-children.
They've got the boot.
No head shots.
N-O head shots.
WHIRRING
Let the games begin!
Remember to always wear protection.
Let's go!
Kill, kill, kill!
Come on, hurry up. Bloody slow.
What are you doing? Get on there!
All right, let's go.
I'm low-key frightened, you know.
Come on, Flo, come on.
Take no prisoners, boys.
No mercy, no surrender!
Hey, Abs, cover my back. Cover me!
Ride or die!
Yeah, boy! All right, all right.
Let's go. Go, man.
So, what is it this time?
They taken the ketamine
from the horses again?
There was a fire, Barry.
They're out of control, these kids.
Oh, wow. They're cooking meth, then.
We need to nip it in the bud now
before it escalates.
Do you need anything from
from me, Carol?
SHOUTING
Over there!
Ouch, got me in the eye!
And as soon as I see
that bitch of a boy,
I'm aiming for his dick and balls.
Damn, Leah, dick and balls,
that's kind of crazy.
Yeah, well, he's a prick and
you shouldn't be backing him.
Listen, I don't know
the bruddah like you do,
but still, dick and balls
is kind of mad.
It's like all you bruddahs
think with is your dicks.
And as soon as that gets wet,
you miraculously and audaciously
lose any sense and logic
you might have had.
Look, I'm going to be 100% honest
with you right now,
I don't know what the fuck
you're talking about.
I'm talking about how you boys act
one way until you get what you want
and then it's complete, like, 360.
You mean, 180.
I-Ithink.
Listen, yeah, I don't know what
that Koku brother did to install
this much anger inside you, yeah,
but listen, that bruddah showed you
what he was like from day dot,
I'm telling you. Bro, this is
a different world he's from.
They're all from this world, like.
If you're trying to find
understanding here, then sorry, B,
but you're not finding that.
Different world or not,
still, dick and balls.
It's easier to hold someone else
accountable than yourself, so
Ho-ho, Xiang with the bars, yeah!
Shhh!
What? Can we please just
be quick and quiet?
I think I know where the Pip is.
No, I saw Koku's fat head
go that way.
Let's take him out.
I thought you wanted to win.
Sounds like somebody's
got other intentions.
Wellobviously I want to win,
it's just, like
..we've just got to
take out the competition.
I don't know about you, bro,
but it sounds like somebody doesn't
want to take accountability.
He's got a point.
What?
XIANG TUTS AND SIGHS
What, bro?
Swear to God,
you lot annoying as hell, bro.
So, we have brought you Ahem.
So you're aware, this isn't
an interview, it's just a chat.
You're free to leave at any time.
Yeah.
As a young black man,
I'm well versed in such proceedings.
Well, it's come to my attention
that there was a fire
started on school grounds
and we suspect it was due to the
manipulation of illegal substances.
We're talking about meth.
Mm, now, if someone was
cooking up meth, I'd want to know
if it was for personal
use or distribution.
Bro, what are you talking about?
Man, that's that white people shit.
How do you explain this? Hmm?
HE SNIGGERS
Is that Is that weed oil?
The fact that you know what it is
isn't helping your case here,
young man.
This is an arrestable offence.
Why do you reckon we're here?
Do you think it's
because of the weed?
Or the shrooms?
Could it be the fire?
Argh, I can't believe
you got me into this.
Sorry, what?
I wouldn't have been there
if you lot weren't so
So? So, what, Femi?
I shouldn't have been there.
Well, sorry for
extending the invite.
Sorry for trying to
bond with you people.
"You people"? Yeah?
Femi, are you for real right now?
It doesn't matter how many
polo shirts you buy,
you will never be one of them, Femi.
That's why they bailed on you.
FEMI CHUCKLES
Bailed on ME?
Sorry, er, where's
your mate, Rupert? Hmm?
Funny how him and his girlfriend -
who brought the drugs - aren't here,
but you are.
And you're making it out
like I'm the naive one.
Ori e o pe.
FEMI SUCKS TEETH
Did you know that in this town
alone, there are over 5,000 opiate
and heroin and crack users?
That's double the
national average, you know.
And you come in here,
talking to me about weed.
It's still a class B drug.
That?
This?
This isn't even a pack.
It's probably some medicinal
shit or something.
Sorry for swearing
..but, I mean
I wouldn't know about that.
You're so full of shit, Jaheim.
I thought you said you were going
to help me win. What the hell?
Oh whatever, man.
Listen, this game is rigged anyway.
It's not meant for us to win.
Oh, shocker - same shitty attitude
you've had all term.
Why are you even here if you're not
going to try and that? Oh, my God,
shut up and listen, yeah?
Cos if you would've let me land,
I would've said it's not meant
for us to win because it's meant for
the people that were born in this.
It's meant for the men that have
this in their flipping back garden.
Look.
What?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm just trying to make the game
a bit more fair, innit?
In fact, think your boy, Koku,
ain't too far from here
Wait, Jaheim
You hacked the drone?
Yes, I did.
Oh, my God.
I could fucking kiss you right now.
Well, don't do that.
Haaa! You could kiss me.
Would you keep up?
Is her foot even broken?
Huh.
I think we should go right.
We can gain higher ground.
Last year, the Pip was
found by the river.
OK, so?
So, it's always there.
This isn't news, hon.
Maybe shit is different now.
Deal with it.
Let's just try something else
and be done with this.
What, so you can get back
to your new best friend
and swap fucking haircare secrets?
ABBY GASPS
Get over yourself, Markle.
You can't say shit like that.
I always say shit like that,
but suddenly, I'm a bitch,
it's a problem, I'm ignorant.
You are ignorant.
Name one ignorant thing
I have ever done to you.
I'm not sitting here tallying
your indiscretions, Florence.
Clearly you are, Abby, because
you've been acting like a stuck-up
bitch ever since you remembered
you were bla
I dare you to finish that.
One ignorant thing. Go on. OK.
That stupid joke you made about
Jaheim's dick taking out
a whole village.
That was Beatrix!
Well, he was wearing grey
fucking shorts.
I know a prominent dick
outline when I see one.
You call me exotic-looking
whenever I put on eyeliner.
You say my hair is wild
when I haven't pulled it back!
Girls! You asked me once
if I knew Swahili.
Swahili, Florence!
Girls! I found the fucking Pip!
Please don't shoot me.
That depends on one thing.
Hand us the boot.
Bitch!
Weed, Carol. Really?
Remind me of your badge number,
kind sir.
Barry, trust me,
let's cut this one loose.
I know I can get something
out of one of the other ones.
I promise there's more than
weed at play here.
We just have to find it.
DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING
There's no need to be scared.
I'm not scared. I just don't know
what I'm doing here.
I get it.
No snitch, no stitch. Right?
We want to get this sorted
out quickly and internally.
It's how we do things
here at St Gilbert's.
No-one needs to know.
Or we call your parents.
What do you say?
What the fuck have you been
saying to Florence? What?
Why have you been running your
mouth? Rupert, I don't have time
for this right now. No, no, no, no.
No, get off! I'm about to be
questioned by the police. What?
Presumably over your girlfriend's
drugs. So chill.
Shit.
Police?
Shit, I'm sorry.
I had no idea.
You take the left.
You, right. Come here.
Let's do this.
Move out.
Back up. Back up.
Guns on the ground.
Don't move.
Back off.
LAUGHTER
We don't want to ruin your pretty
little outfits,
so why not give up the boot, eh?
GUNFIRE
Ooh! Ooh!
Whoo! Brap, brap, brap, brap, brap!
That's what you get, bitch! Bitch!
Whoo! Asshole. Whoo!
Too busy hunting me down.
Didn't realise you got shot too.
What?
Mabel.
Hi.
You shot me. Wagwan?
Nothing wagwan, Leah. It's a game.
Yeah, right, as if it's not about
this fat forehead prick.
Well, maybe if you were thinking
about someone other than him,
you wouldn't have been shot.
Oh, so it is about
the limp dick prick.
I'm right here. I know.
Mabel, I apologised. Barely.
You said we'd talk about it later
and we never did
because you're all about you
and all your shit.
You didn't even
check in to see how I felt.
Well, I'm sorry if I had to cleanse
my body from the Uncle Tom
I let inside of me.
Again, all about you.
And Jesus Christ, Mabel,
you are so fucking needy!
What? Yes. Me?! You.
Needy?! Needy. Shut up!
Leah, you got shot but we didn't.
We're still playing.
I drop everything to help you
and I'm needy?
Fuck you.
Mabel, I didn't mean
Show's over, Little Mix.
Hand over the boot or
we will empty our loads
..from the paintball gun.
Fuck me.
Do you know what?
Yeah, you can just have it.
It was your idea to play this
fucking game!
I just wanted us
to spend some time together
but instead, all we've done is
assassinate each other's characters
and I, I hate it!
You are both being selfish,
self-centred little hags
and it stops now.
Just stop being little shits
and apologise!
Sorry.
MUMBLES: Sorry.
Oh! Properly!
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean anything I said.
I was just upset cos it's like you
found Leah and suddenly,
we didn't matter any more.
Just because me and Leah are friends
does not mean that you two
are not my bitches.
I would never say anything
to hurt you.
Well, I can just be an insensitive
jealous dick sometimes
butI love you.
You're the most beautiful girl
I know.
I love you too.
I'm sorry I've been distant,
and I am sorry about your foot.
It's all right. It's not like you
did it on purpose.
Abby, you sadistic cow.
LAUGHS
In all honesty,
it's not even broken.
Oh, yeah, we know.
We know.
I love you bitches.
I love you too. Slag.
THEY GIGGLE
And I love you both.
You whores! Oh!
Sowe can have the boot? Xiang.
Uh, hey! Bitches, slags, whores,
yeah, whatever.
Um, quick question - cos you guys
aren't playing any more
and we are, could we maybe,
you know, have the boot, please?
We, we, we don't have to
have that one.
We can go and find
another one, right?
But just that one on your shoulder
would do very nicely, please.
Please.
Thank you.
CHANTING: Carruthers! Carruthers!
Carruthers!
Right, uh, well done, everyone.
That was very touching. Let's go.
Take one for the team.
No, it's not really about winning
though, is it?
It's about the power of friendship.
I feel like no-one's
listening to me.
Fab-a-lab-a-ding-dong.
Fuck's sake. Sorry, girls.
GUNFIRE, GIRLS SCREAM
Good luck. Yeah.
How you doing?
Someone's got to win soon. Yeah.
How was it? Did you find the Pip?
SHE SOBS
Tears of joy. Yeah. Hmm.
PHONE BUZZES
Hello?
Well, of course I'm hard to reach,
Tiffany.
I'm in the middle of nowhere.
What?!
I can't believe they're still
getting away with this shit.
Getting away with what?
The whole strip search thing, right?
I mean, clearly that's what
they're doing in there.
I'veI've never been stopped
by the police before.
Look, if I know anything about
school policy, and trust me,
I know school policy,
they've already
searched your room for drugs and
obviously found nothing in there,
right? So
Right. The easiest thing for you to
do is just show them
that you have nothing on you.
How do I do that?
OK. Um
..just unturn your pockets so they
can see there's nothing there.
See? There you go. Yeah.
Nothing there.
Thanks.
Right. Ah, but, no, you might have
something strapped around here,
so, you're going to have to take
that off. Yeah.
Take it off. I'm being serious.
OK.
Someone had drugs on school
grounds over exeat.
So, we have to call your parents so
we can get a drug test authorised.
Drug test?! Ke?!
Nah. Please. I-I
..I'll get sent to Nigeria!
Unless Unless what?
Well, unless we find who this
actually belongs to,
we have to assume it's you.
Google what he's saying.
Ooh, trainers too. Yeah, dealers
always have drugs in their trainers.
OK. Hm-mm.
Mm, socks too.
But can't they see an outline
through my socks?
Like, surely I don't need to do
this. No, no, no, no.
These days, dealers have all
sorts of hidden compartments.
Come on, socks off.
It's for your own good.
Quickly. Come on,
someone could come.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
What else?
Maybe the vest.
Or maybe, uh Whoa.
Tracksuit bottoms?
What? Fuck you doing? Fuck!
Huh? The vest too?
Ain't this what you want, Rupert?
Cos I can't see any reason why you'd
want this except to see my dick!
You're a fucking weirdo.
No, I'm a fucking idiot
ignoring what everyone
says about you.
Yeah? What's everyone saying?
You're a sociopathic, pathetic knob.
And that's without everyone
knowing about your daddy issues.
Yeah, that's funny that, I'm the
sociopath with the daddy issues,
yet you're the fucking loser
who could just about get me
to be his mate.
If playing with me gets your
sad little rocks off
..get your fill. I did.
Thank you.
What the hell is going on here?!
Carol, what have you done?
Shit.
The quickest route crosses paths
with Felix. But if we take
the longer route, they'll beat us
there and batter us
before we've even crossed the line.
Bro, where's all this negativity
coming from, man?
I'm just being real, Jaheim.
Listen, I did not come this far
just to lose, right?
I'm doing this for you two. So,
we'd better find a way around it.
Thanks for the positivity, Oprah,
but we will lose
because Felix is watching.
He's always watching.
I'm just going to run.
Give me the boot. What? No.
Give me the boot!
Give me the boot!
Stand by.
Get ready.
Aargh! Hold it! Go, go, go!
THEY SCREAM
Ow!
Urgh! Ow, ow, ow!
Well, well, well.
Looks like we've caught
ourselves a little whopper.
I've blown off three dicks today
and I will blow off three more.
No, I didn't I
I didn't, I didn't mean it like
that. You
You're out. Remember?
If you shoot us, your whole team
will be disqualified.
Bad luck.
Oh, and, uh, you were right.
I am always watching.
We know, you perv!
Well, yippee-ki-yay, motherfuckers!
CHEERING
Shit! Shit on it!
Yeah!
Fuck! Don't fucking touch me!
Yeah!
The police?!
Barry's hardly a SWAT team.
They're kids. There was a fire,
Bernard! Drugs!
There's always drugs!
It's a private sch
This is a private school,
not a monastery.
I told you I have a handle on it.
No, you don't.
I've got half a mind to call
the board and tell them
What? That you, uh, had three
underage kids questioned without
parental knowledge or
authorisation?
Get the hell out of my school.
It's only a matter of time before
everyone else sees what I can,
then you're gone.
DOOR SLAMS
BEEPS
Send him in, please.
Sit down.
Omar, I
..I have no words.
What Mrs Watlington-Geese
did to you was despicable
and I intend to
get to the bottom of it.
I don't want anyone to know.
It will just blow back on me.
No, I wouldn't let that happen.
Why don't you leave the matter
with me? And I promise
I willhave it resolved in
a timely and discreet manner.
Can I leave, please?
Of course.
Hey.
Dilton.
Don't you mean Rupert?
Honestly, I'm so sorry.
No, no, no. It's not your fault.
I'm the twat
cos I left my fate and
the Raisinettes on you.
It meant a lot to me, too.
More than you could imagine.
I can't imagine.
And I don't believe you.
Is this the champion chariot?
Yes, it is!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Oh
CHEERING
Yeah! Whoo!
Jaheim! Come on. That's my boy!
Yo, thank you for letting me get
past that line with the boot, man.
Only one winner.
I'm glad it was you.
Wait, what? Why are the police here?
What?
And the boys still haven't
messaged you back? No.
Thank you. Incredible.
Why don't this feel right, Jaheim?
Why were the police here?
Toby, Omar and Femi
weren't at the challenge.
Why?
That is none of your concern.
But it is my concern.
They're my friends.
Yes, and they're my students.
Was there anything else,
Miss Ashford?
SHE GASPS, SCOFFS
Sit down.
How did Carol get hold of this?
I've absolutely no idea, sir.
Well, first things first,
we need to contact Omar's parents.
We thought it might help for Preeya
and I to speak with them first.
From a PR standpoint,
it's important that we contain it.
Omar has decided he does not wish to
draw attention to the matter,
so, it's, it's best we don't, uh,
take it any further.
Let that be a relief to us all.
Uh, the school is currently going
through a difficult chapter,
so we think following all
procedures
and policies would
probably be best, B.
HE SIGHS
Fine.
But after the fundraiser.
That's weeks away.
Without donations, the school
cannot function,
and we certainly can't support
our new scholarship students.
Last thing I need right now is
our donors getting a whiff of yet
another shit storm.
PR aside, I mean, we just saw Omar,
we could at least
Listen, the children's wellbeing
is my job, not yours.
Of course.
Stanley, before the fundraiser,
I want you to search every dorm
and confiscate every piece
of contraband you can find.
I don't want to find so much as a
cough drop on the school grounds.
Understood? Of course.
We could take away their phones,
we could turn off the internet,
and that way, they won't be able to,
uh, contact their dealers.
Just a suggestion.
Good idea. Why not? B,
I know things can feel like
they're closing in on you
I promise you that this
issue will be resolved.
But right now, we need to ensure
that this fundraiser
goes without a hitch.
Is that clear? Yes, B.
Yes, Bernard. Yes, sir.
So, I told that copper,
I ain't no snitch.
You're a bloody rah'scal,
that's what.
ALL: Rah'scals, rah'scals,
rah'scals, rah'scals,
rha'scals, rha'scals, rha'scals!
ALL CHEER
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Omar, I just saw the police.
Where have you been all day?
What happened? Can we just leave it?
I can call Gus. Look, right? Listen
to me. Listen to me for once, right?
No, but if I just No, no, no, no.
Listen. Right? I'm not your child.
It's none of your business.
Sorry, but if I just call him
Look, leave it!
Right? Leave it.
I'm fine. I'm fucking fine!
Leave me alone.
# Sometimes since I last worked
# There's pressure on my backbone
# Slipped disc coming loose
On the trek home
# I'm not trying to arrive
With my head held low
# So I look to the sky
# When I'm feeling low
I take a flight inside my mind
# So I come back down
When the feeling's right
# It's all right
It's only me
# It's all right
It's only me
# It's all right
It's only me
# It's all right
It's only me
# It's all right she said
It's only me
# It's all right
It's only me
# It's all right she said
It's only me
# It's all right
It's only me #