Bros (2024) s01e05 Episode Script

1
INSPIRED BY REAL EVENTS
[Rotem] Good morning, neighbor.
A little farm to table?
Please, enjoy.
You want some? Hungry?
Looks good.
But no, I can't steal your food.
Savor it.
I made a ton. There's six eggs in this.
-Enough for everyone.
-What? You're nuts.
Grab the pan. Come on, girl.
Nuts, huh?
[Rotem laughs]
Better than eating alone.
-What?
-Right?
-And get some bread, if you have any.
-Sure, just a sec.
I'm starving.
-[utensils rattle]
-[Rotem clears throat]
Bon appétit.
-Thanks. Looks better with bread.
-It looks good.
Yeah.
[sighs]
Spicy?
What's the spice?
You know, shakshuka, the usual.
Peppers, onions and garlic.
Eggs, ketchup, tomatoes.
-What?
-Come on, you don't put garlic in?
-You put ketchup?
-What, you don't?
[sniffs]
As long as you like it.
I'm not all that hungry anyway.
Sheesh. That's it.
That's why you're single,
because you're a killjoy.
They fall for you.
Until they taste your shakshuka.
-Should I heat up my mom's meatballs?
-Yes.
Took you a while to take the hint.
[quirky theme song playing]
BROS
[vehicle approaching]
What?
SHELTER FOR ABANDONED ANIMALS
A HOME TO ADOPT A FRIEND
Ugh. Oh, man.
[straining]
[groans]
Damn this fucking door.
[whimsical music playing]
All right. [straining]
[sighs]
What's with the van, David?
It's his sister's.
We needed a large car, so we borrowed it.
[Nisso] Eww, what's that?
Why does it smell like a corpse?
She does work
at an animal shelter as a volunteer.
You sure it's not
for the coroner's office?
Why aren't you coming with us, Big D?
I'm coming just for the game.
Three days is just too long for me,
and I'd feel bad for mother.
Oh, wait, what about Yaffit?
What about Yaffit? Why should I know?
What do you want?
Well, she's going
to come with us, isn't she?
What do I know?
I heard she bought a couple of tickets.
Whatever. She can bring who she likes.
Why should I care?
Huh.
Wait, David. Why are you going this way?
You're going to get there late.
There is another stop.
Another stop?
That's all until David Ben Gurion.
-Are you fucking kidding?
-What did you think, dude?
Let you go without a friend?
[Nisso chuckles]
Yeah, well His sister works
with animals at a shelter, so
Ah, it's all right. So?
Our witness is the stars above ♪
A dream that is a kind of love ♪
God will always be our witness ♪
[host] You're here with us
for the second hour on Radio Jerusalem.
Everyone's excited about the game.
Beitar fans are on their way to Kraków.
Ben Naim ticket agency says
that all ticket packages have been sold.
We're going to paint Kraków yellow.
Beitar!
-Come back with the trophy! Go Beitar!
-Beitar!
You want gum for your ears
when the pressure changes?
The ear pressure's the scariest thing.
I saw a film on Geographic.
This man had pressure
in both his ears and bit it in his seat.
His whole entire brain
leaked out of his ear, down his neck.
It was like a suspense film.
-It's gonna be a long fucking flight.
-[chuckles]
What's up?
-[Nisso] Did it work out?
-Yeah, thank you.
I'm sure she can run the bar
on her own, no problem.
So you made it after all.
I never said I didn't want to go.
-I just really didn't
-Rotem, don't you speak to him.
All right.
Hey, Yaffit.
Why are you on the plane?
Who are you with?
You came with Rotem?
So that's why you got two tickets?
-Spying on me, are you?
-I'm not spying on you.
Ben Naim told me, I didn't ask.
Oh, you didn't ask, huh?
Hey, this is a dream for me.
Beitar in Europe, huh?
[pilot] We're glad to have you.
As we prepare to depart, we ask
everyone to keep the aisles clear
Why didn't you say Rotem was coming?
I don't know, does it matter to you?
And why would you care?
Hmm.
Why do women in perfume ads
always have to be half-naked, you know?
To push a scent.
It's sexy. Don't be a prude.
Nachum was excited that you came.
Sure, he's happy.
He's spying on me.
He's into you.
Oh, come on, stop with that.
Hey, can you stop kicking the seat?
-Hey!
-What? Are you going to the game?
Yeah, that's why I'm on the plane.
You a fan too?
Out of all of the seats,
you picked that one?
That's our karma, I guess.
God wants me close to you.
That's a beautiful thing to say.
You look familiar.
This is my neighbor, Avi.
He was at the bar.
This is my cousin Yaffit.
Are you kidding? Yaffit the horn?
Are you serious?
-I'm honored, sir.
-Which hotel are you staying in?
-The one in the package.
-Yeah.
See you there, huh?
[clicks tongue]
Well, he's into you.
Just stop it.
What? Just saying.
I'm happy you came after all.
I'm stunned.
How could I ever miss this?
I don't know. You turned down the offer.
You didn't want to check with her first.
I didn't want to make
a promise I couldn't keep.
I had to speak with Alma
to figure it out, okay?
In a good relationship,
you don't try to deceive your wife.
[scoffs] You believe that?
Let's go, Beitar! Wake up!
-[Yaffit] Let's go!
-[rhythmic clapping]
Beitar!
-Beitar!
-[horn blowing rhythmically]
Beitar!
[Nisso] I don't envy the Poles.
They'll see Nachum
singing depressing songs,
they'll get a culture shock.
What are you talking about?
I mean, what do you think,
they invented culture?
Don't let them fool you.
All their squares and operas,
people forget the barbaric things
that happened to them.
-The World War?
-Yeah.
Goddamn motherfuckers.
You know what, man?
I was thinking that
we should visit Auschwitz.
Why see all the death camps?
-It's a vacation.
-Vacation?
You're Jewish Nisso.
How can you go to Poland
and not see the camps?
You mean you'll travel
and eat and drink and go sightseeing?
You're gonna ignore history
and where you're from?
Don't you know everything that went on?
A million and a half kids were torn
from their parents, you aware of that?
I'm aware.
My father's family's from there.
But you
What?
Um
Just drop it.
No, no. What? Come on, what am I?
Am I not a Jew?
I don't get it.
You know my grandmother's family
was in the Holocaust and suffered as well?
What? Your grandmother?
-Grandma Meme.
-Grandma Meme's from Tunis.
You see just how ignorant you can be, huh?
Did you know
the Germans marched the streets of Tunis?
They lined up all the Jews and sent them
to the camps, did you know that?
-No, I didn't.
-No, of course you didn't.
They forgot to explain
that part in school.
What do you remember from history?
Ribbentrop, Molotov.
It's because you're an alcoholic.
-I am?
-Yeah.
You'd never remember Molotov
if he wasn't a bottle.
[service alert chimes]
How about some food back here?
Don't you guys have a wait staff?
What?
Today I only ate two ciabattas.
[attendant] Nissim Harari?
-Yeah.
-You ordered a special kosher?
Uh, yeah. Yes, yes, I did.
Because I, uh
I observe the sacred food laws.
It's important.
Ah, suddenly your Jewish faith guides you.
-Now you're observant?
-What? I'm super observant.
You're a philosopher like Rambam?
You never wear a yarmulke.
What? I put it on.
-You put it on your night stand.
-[Nisso] What does it matter now?
Yes, special kosher.
-What are you, bored or something?
-Curious.
The religious folks
always get food before everyone else.
Cart's nowhere near you
and the Orthodox guy is already finished.
Here you go, Nissim.
Oh, wow.
Hang on, you have to recite
the sacred blessings first.
Uh, hmm
Blessed art thou
when going and coming, bon appétit.
Reformed.
Can I get out?
What? Hey, where are you going?
To find some food?
-Get me a Coke or something.
-Sure.
And some peanuts!
-Well?
-Hmm?
You're waiting?
Uh, yeah.
No, it's just
You can go first, I'll hold it.
We both could.
What?
Just kidding.
My God.
Right, of course.
[toilet flushes]
I hate airplane bathrooms.
Uh go ahead.
It's all right. You go ahead.
[in Hebrew] I love you, Beitar!
SHAARE ZEDEK HOSPITAL
PRIORITY MAIL MR. NISSIM HARARI, JERUSALEM
-Hey there, Kraków.
-Ha.
You feel the urge?
[in Hebrew] Go Beitar!
Psst!
Why is he pss-pissing?
What, does he think I'm a cat?
No, it's like in Amsterdam, man.
Don't you get it?
-Hash?
-Hash. There.
No, no hash. Go, go.
Can't take your wallet out; in a minute,
three guys will jump you in an ambush.
Look at that over there.
You know how happy it makes me
to see a place crowded like that, even
if I don't know the dziadek who owns it?
[chuckles] Dziadek, huh?
-[bell tolling]
-Here everyone's dziadek.
Look, man, I'm pleasantly
surprised by Kraków.
I thought for sure
it was a gloomy gray city.
That's because you only saw it
in black and white on Pillar of Fire.
Oh, no, it's very European.
You're in Europe, man.
Did you think it looked Asian?
Eastern Europe, man. Go figure, huh?
You're in the center, central Europe.
Ah.
Do you feel it, Nisso?
What?
The history.
It chills my bones.
You're in Schindler's List
if you color the streets black and white.
That's where the girl
in the red coat could have been.
-This is where it happened?
-Yeah, man.
Every step you take,
someone's blood was spilled.
You can't tell me you don't feel that.
-I feel it. I feel it.
-Think about it.
Yeah, someone's alive
and the next day, poof, they're gone.
Those people lived here,
you know, think about it.
Person gets up in the morning,
runs some errands.
They get a package from the post office,
goes out to buy some bread,
makes food for his wife,
living day to day.
And in a second
[snaps fingers] that's it, dead.
Must you?
I can feel death here. I feel it.
Just like I'm standing here beside you.
Don't you feel the chill?
Look, man, look, man, I've got goosebumps.
I think I should call home right now.
Go ahead, go ahead.
I'll look for the "pss-pss" guy. Go ahead.
-Huh?
-Yeah, go ahead. Call her, dude.
-Alma.
-[Alma] Pini, are you there?
Yes, we're in Kraków.
Listen, you won't believe
the chills I have.
What about Nisso? Have you talked to him?
No, there hasn't been
a good time since we left.
How? There are always people around.
I'll find the time to talk to him.
That's why I'm here, right?
-Psst-psst! Hey.
-What?
What what? You know what.
Four hundred.
Yeah, that's what you'd expect.
Polish, right?
Pretty similar to your mom's side.
[chuckles]
They go to sleep at night
with a blanket over their heads.
[dealer] Four hundred.
-That's what I gave you.
-Euro.
I gave you zloty. Now you say euro.
What's next? Sterling?
Yeah, sterling.
You don't have the money, give it back.
Fuck you.
You think you're smart? Want to die?
Maybe.
What dumb things do I do, Alma?
-You know I've changed, haven't I?
-[men groaning]
Hey!
No monkey business.
And I won't let Nisso do anything.
-Pini, run!
-Don't worry, all right?
-What? Alma, please, just don't worry!
-Run! Run!
[bell tolling]
[Pini] I'll kill you
for making me run all over town.
-[sighs]
-Why would you headbutt that guy?
He pulled a knife on me.
I told you not to mess
with those guys, didn't I?
-Fine. I wanted to score.
-Score, huh?
Why are you on edge?
There's no edge.
I'm not on edge. I'm not edgy.
You're overseas, enjoy being here.
Look how classy it is.
Real classy.
So act classy and don't headbutt anyone.
There.
-[dealer on left] Hi.
-Hello.
Excuse me. What's this scarf?
I saw it in the city.
We're fans of a football team.
We're coming to the game.
Kraków against Jerusalem.
I know some people from Jerusalem.
Maybe they're here.
Uh, how many of you came as fans?
Two planes.
Oh.
Two planes is a lot.
We probably won't find them.
Why not? We're living in the same hotel.
This line goes on forever.
What a waste of time.
Yeah.
Any ideas?
We could take a shortcut.
Yeah.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
This is the line for guests at the hotel.
Israelis go to the left.
Did you see that?
He was onto us right away, man.
The selection instinct
is alive and well with them.
Psst!
Yaffit.
-Hey.
-What what?
-What? Come on.
-We're together. Right, Yaffit?
I guess you are. He's not.
Thank you.
[clerk] Next, please. Welcome.
May I see your passports?
-Passport.
-Passport.
You don't just show it.
He's got to see your name on it.
[clerk] Your room is ready.
Are you two together?
There is one bed. Are you a couple?
What?
No, no good. No, we we're not together.
We're not a couple.
[Nisso] Couple. Couple is two beds.
Couple.
No, no, you moron.
Couple is relationship.
Why'd you book that?
I don't know, it was cheaper.
I thought couple meant double, like two.
Couple, double, two beds.
No, no, you won't convince him
that a couple's double.
Shut up. Uh
Never mind, it's okay.
-Thanks.
-It's one bed. How is that okay?
What do you want, man?
You booked it. Come, come.
Thank you.
Are you nuts? How is one bed okay?
What's the matter with you?
Hello. One bed for the two of you?
Huh. Washed your hair pretty quick.
What's that scent, Nachum?
Is that baby shampoo?
He smells like a changing room.
No, of course not.
It's the shampoo in the hotel.
I already put three bottles in my bag,
so I smell like this back home.
I called the lobby
and told them I was out.
How would they know
how much I wash my hair?
[Nachum chuckles]
They also gave me
a really sweet room, guys,
two beds: one for my stuff and one for me.
If you have two beds,
maybe we should switch with you.
I've already unpacked all my things.
The desk said that between 5:00
and 8:00 p.m., they serve a good cake.
It's five minutes before 8:00.
You better not miss it.
Let's go.
We did pay for today too, after all.
How should we start?
Start what?
So much shit.
-Are you kidding me?
-[whimsical music playing]
[Nisso] I took his bag and ran.
Punishment. Fuck him.
You're talking about these
like they're cashews.
Opening a convenience store,
starting a deli? What's this?
I asked if he had stuff
to smoke, like hash.
Then I saw that he had mushrooms
in there, so I took those.
And then I saw powder, I took that.
-[chuckles]
-Powder, huh?
What's this, coke?
Yeah, I was curious.
What the hell does that mean?
This isn't special kosher.
You don't know what it is.
It's a commercial amount.
You stole his entire inventory.
I was in a fight with the guy.
I couldn't start weighing stuff.
How do you know it's not rat poison?
Snort a line and you're kaput.
-Since when do you mess with this?
-What's wrong?
With me?
What's with you?
Really, man,
you've been pushing it lately.
-Maybe it's time to chill.
-I think you need to chill.
We're on a trip, let's enjoy it.
Have a good time.
Lighten up.
Not everything's so serious, grandpa.
Look, I don't care about weed
and all that, but this? [clicks tongue]
-I have to get rid of it.
-No, hang on a sec.
-Give it to me!
-No!
-What's wrong with you?
-Give it to me! Pini!
[straining]
-[knock on door]
-[Nisso] Wait, don't open the door!
[Pini] What?
What's that?
What's this?
Explain it, Pini.
Uh it's
talcum.
-Talcum powder?
-[both] Yes.
It looks like coke.
Like what?
Coke. Looks like you jumped
into a huge pile of coke.
I'll be in the lobby.
Oh, great. You and your bullshit, man.
I'm in trouble now.
In 30 seconds,
Alma's going to hear about this, watch.
It's your fault.
Why did you butt in? It was for me.
Besides, I think that dziadek screwed us.
I'm not stoned.
It is talcum powder. You feeling it?
No, nothing at all for me.
That dziadek did hustle you.
He screwed you. Nothing.
It's like that numbing stuff
the dental hygienist uses on your teeth.
Hey, dude, are your gums numb yet?
-Yeah.
-Huh?
-Yeah.
-Otherwise nothing, right?
-Yeah, it could be dentist stuff, right?
-I don't feel anything.
-No. Do you?
-No.
-Man, oh man. Let's get ready.
-[symphonic glissando plays]
[hip-hop playing]
Yeah ♪
I tried to tell you You ain't ready ♪
Have you ever seen
A man not afraid to die? ♪
Gave his life for a dream
Born hustler so the game conceived ♪
A caged beast but now I'm free ♪
How can you blame me?
I was born for this ♪
The game chose me ♪
Now I've been training
For this my whole life ♪
Carpe diem, seize the moment
Right, right ♪
We gon' turn and rock plenty ice ♪
This is our time ♪
Yeah, I'm 'bout that life ♪
I'm a street dude
Teach dudes to think quicker ♪
Would take over the world
But yo, I train bigger ♪
Never satisfied I'm tryna be richer ♪
And pour out a little bit
For those who ain't with us ♪
Ready, ready
I don't get ready, I stay ready ♪
'Cause the consequences is heavy ♪
My man D said he would never quit ♪
Even though the thing's heavy ♪
We push like a 7-7 Chevy Boy's ready ♪
The money was slow But now it's ready ♪
You boys is not ready ♪
[soft, ominous music playing]
Dude, this place is dead.
Well, it's calm, quiet.
Now
I thought
I wanted us to have some time alone,
so that maybe we could talk.
Fine, but let's order something.
We'll drink.
[scoffs] Look at that.
Look, this is a bar, you know, man.
Eight brands of whiskey up there.
They're all ordered from oldest to new.
You see, instead
of having them dark to light,
instead of cheap to expensive,
he's got it old to new.
Hey, this stone's pretty amazing.
-Just touch it.
-Ah.
It's so solid.
Yeah, alienation, you know?
Stone gives a sense of alienation.
Wood feels warm.
Plastic feels cheap, you know.
Softness you get in wool.
A soft wool bar?
I'm going to the room to get us more blow.
[phone buzzing]
-Hey there.
-[urinating]
Yeah.
Yeah, I found your bag.
It was just lying in their room.
I'm pissing on their floor.
Well, half of it is here.
But, uh
the coke was
scattered.
[groans]
Those rotten motherfuckers, eh?
-[chuckles]
-[door rattles]
[quirky theme song playing]