Chainsmoker Cat (2026) s01e05 Episode Script

I'll be taking these.
How could you be so cruel?
Give them back!
This is for your own good!
I'll see you later!
She's crying like a locked-out cat.
No, I can't be soft on her.
I'm sure she'll understand eventually.
Did I go too far taking away all of them?
I guess I can give her back one pack.
Hey, Sis.
Extraction complete.
Now I'm glad I decided to hide this
when I found out Imoko was coming over.
Where's my lighter?
Thanks.
Thanks for coming.
So,
there's something
I wanted to tell you in private.
Well,
the thing is, I like you.
I want to go out with you.
You know,
and maybe get married down the line.
Well…
Thank you.
But…
I'm sorry.
I see.
You gotta snap out of it.
I should've gone for it
after I got my haircut.
Look, you had no shot.
Besides, there are tons of other girls.
But there's only one Imoko!
Keep your voice down, idiot!
What's with him and Imoko?
Is she some kind of sixth-century envoy?
Hey, watch where you're going!
Sorry.
Or are you day-blind?
Cut it out, Mikoto.
You shouldn't say that.
Shu.
Are you okay, Imoko?
Oh, yeah.
Let me help you.
Thanks.
- Sorry about Mikoto.
What the hell?
It's okay.
- Is this everything?
What the hell?
I already know I'm the worst!
But I can't help it!
My head's all messed up!
There, there. I've got your back.
Let's grab something at Yoneda
on our way home.
You're buying.
Say something!
Why did you say no?
He's a really good guy.
And you know, not too bad looking.
You could've gone out with him
just to test things out.
I don't know.
I think
he's too put together.
You still had a hidden stash!
I'm taking this too.
- Give it back!
I'm begging you, Imoko!
I said no!
You are so helpless without me.
Chainsmoker Cat!
Welcome.
I'd like to make
my health insurance payment.
Okay.
- Also…
Number 12.
- Yes, ma'am!
What did you order?
A fish cake cheeseburger
and a Nyamu shake.
It was half off with my beastfolk coupon.
Fish cake cheeseburger and Nyamu shake
for order number 12--
Yes, ma'am!
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to embarrass you.
Don't worry about it.
I'm used to you embarrassing me.
That's not really supportive.
I used to be called by a number,
and when I hear that number,
I just react automatically.
Four times three is twelve.
- Yes, ma'am!
Two times six is twelve.
- Yes, ma'am!
I bet your multiplication tables
were tough.
No, I was fine in grade school.
This happened later.
Yeah?
I'm a teacher!
Wait, beastfolk can't become teachers.
Looks like I'm just working minimum-wage.
I'm a lawyer.
Beastfolk can't become lawyers either.
So you're working minimum-wage too.
Nice, I'm a doctor.
I'm gonna make bank.
You can't be a doctor either.
What's with all these
beastfolk job restrictions?
How outdated is this game?
So we're all working minimum-wage jobs.
It's the volatility that makes
the Game of Life Beastfolk edition fun.
I'm a scholar.
I bet that's not allowed either.
Yeah, it's a no.
But I chose to play as a human.
What are you lying about your race for?
Can't I just have this
for the game at least?
You know, I'm good at this game.
I'll be way ahead
if I spend the money to move to Machida.
You're like way in debt.
I just need to cross the finish line.
Then all that debt gets wiped clean.
Now that's a dream system.
Nice, a wedding event.
You need to spin
to determine your spouse's race.
I have a beastfolk marriage.
I don't get to know their race
until I'm married?
Why didn't I check beforehand?
I marry a human.
Gimme that sweet financial advantage.
That's all you care about.
I marry a human too.
And I marry a beastfolk.
When a human marries a beastfolk…
Here, read this out loud.
What is this?
"Don't marry a beastfolk."
"There's too much
of a physiological difference."
"They can jump eight meters high
and sneak up on you fast."
"They can move effortlessly in water,
and smell bad when they dry off."
"They don't ever age,
and meow all the time."
"They trigger cat allergies,
and the child always
turns out to be a beastfolk somehow."
Those are some outdated views.
Sounds like a horror movie.
I'm almost at the finish line.
That's fast!
Fire.
I forgot to mention,
the finish line for this game is death.
What kind of game is this?!
The game's goal is to die happy.
Every turn is supposed to be one year,
so that means Yani dies at 11 years old.
You should probably quit smoking again.
Okay, I'm next.
I spun a 12.
- Yes, ma'am!
Chainsmoker Cat!
You want to hunt for stag beetles?
Stag beetle! You're killing me!
What are you, in grade school?
Also, why does that look so good on you?
Seriously.
Let me title my stream "20-Year-Old
Unemployed Bum Still Young at Heart."
Then I'll go with you--
Yaku?
Stag beetles?
Sorry, I'm busy right now.
Sorry, that was a lie.
I'm not into stag beetles. Sorry.
Is it just you?
What about Yaniko?
Right, she started
her part-time job today.
And Tatsuro is busy with her deadline.
And Aruko is drunk as usual.
Just be careful being out there
in the woods by yourself!
Thanks.
Right, she got fired
from her job recently.
I guess she hasn't recovered yet.
Sorry.
I would've gone if I didn't have to help
with the neighborhood association.
You okay on your own?
I'll be fine. I've got my phone.
Right, you've got a good head
on your shoulders.
Still, be careful out there.
Yaku, hey.
Let me know
if you really can't find anything.
Don't worry.
I'm taking this time off to recharge.
Thanks for your concern though.
What?
Yani Neko.
Yo, Yaku.
Didn't you have work today?
Listen, you won't believe it.
I asked if smoking was allowed
back at my interview
only to find out today
the smoking area is under maintenance.
So I slipped out the first chance I got.
You on your way to work now?
No.
I'm going stag beetle hunting.
I'll tag along.
Great!
Do stag beetles taste good?
What? We're not going to eat them!
Is it fun just collecting them?
Do you know how cool stag beetles are?
Hello, my loyal Hame-Channel viewers!
We've come to an unexplored forest
where the Alpha are said to live.
What's an Alpha?
You don't know?
They're the group of beastfolk
who rule this area.
Remember that sweet bud-- I mean,
yummy cigarettes I shared with you before?
They're the ones who grow the leaves.
That was tasty.
They're good people.
I'm sure they'll share if you ask them.
Here it is.
This is one of the villages
in District Six where the Alpha live,
Tobacco Village.
It's like the Jomon Period!
If it isn't Yaku.
Are these two your friends?
Hey, Chief!
She's the leader of this area.
I'm Hame-chan!
I'm Yaniko.
Yes.
I'm the chief, Lani.
Sorry for dropping by like this.
Is it possible to get
some of that tobacco?
Of course. It's actually harvest season.
There's plenty of leaves,
so smoke as much as you like.
Thanks!
While you're here,
you two should learn
about our village's customs.
I hate studying. I just want to smoke.
Let us smoke!
Come on, you two!
It's okay.
HOW TO MAKE VILLAGE TOBACCO
First, we harvest our village grapes.
The fruits are made into wine,
and the leaves are dried.
They're dried in the shade
for about three to six months,
then the leaf veins are removed
before we chop up the rest of the leaves…
until we're left
with the finished product.
Every villager here
works in tobacco production.
No work, no smoke.
Meaning, you all will need
to contribute as well.
What a pain in the ass.
Yani!
All the more reason
to experience making your own tobacco.
Come on, get a move on.
10 MINUTES LATER
That's hilarious.
I'm sorry.
No worries.
That's so good.
It really is!
Right?
We're all proud of our tobacco.
The rich aroma is so addictive--
Gross! I like my usual vape way more!
Grandma, how about adding some menthol?
It'll be easier to smoke.
Shut your stupid mouth!
How could you say that?!
- But…
No worries.
Everyone has different palates.
It won't agree with everyone.
You're so totally understanding!
I'm sorry, Chief.
Please, I wouldn't get mad
over something like this.
Look over there.
That's the monument enshrining our deity
that the Alpha tribe has protected
for generations.
I thought it was just a huge wall.
Back when this land
was riddled with conflict,
there was much meowing and screeching,
but now it is just
quietly watching over us.
When we make tobacco,
we offer our prayers to the monument
as we chop the leaves.
It is a testament to our dedication.
Every day, we tell our deity
and our ancestors
that we live on these lands in harmony.
It's the same story with these tattoos.
These patterns depict
the monument towering towards the sun.
When I start to feel myself wavering,
I look at these tattoos
and reflect on myself.
It's a dck.
It's a dck and pssy.
Chainsmoker Cat! Chainsmoker Cat!
Chainsmoker Cat!
The wind keeps blowing the light out.
Villagers perform this ritual
to beg the gods for mercy.
You just need to jump off that ledge.
It's such a safe ritual
that even the village children do it.
There's no way we can do this!
Plus, this isn't rope!
It's woven from vines.
Very durable and elastic.
I'm going to die.
There's no way I'm doing this!
Hurry up and jump.
Yeah, you could totally die
from this height.
Are you scared to die?
Our people have a saying.
"Keep death close
and treat it as your companion."
Well, I can't smoke if I'm dead.
If you jump, we'll send you home
with a whole bunch of our tobacco.
What?
Can I get a light?
What is with her? Does she not sense fear?
Wait, is this easier than I think?
They're threatening to kill me
if I don't jump.
I'm so scared! I don't want to die!
These people are real savages.
- Go already.
That was some impressive jumping indeed.
You are like family now.
Feel free to come by anytime you want.
I'll be back for more smokes.
This village tobacco is so good.
I've got enough to last me three days.
It sure was fun, wasn't it?
Let's go again sometime!
I'm never going again.
Why not? The Alpha really loved you.
They even gave you your own tribe name,
the Rainbow Maker.
It was pure piss--
Sorry, I meant pure bliss.
Shut your mouth!
By the way, what does Alpha mean?
What?
ALPHA - MEANING FIRST OR BEGINNING
IN GREEK
It's the first letter
of the Greek alphabet,
and it means the first or the beginning.
That's creepy.
You're gonna get hit with a ray gun again.
I'm starving.
You want to grab something to eat?
I want curry.
How can you eat curry
after pooping yourself?
I didn't poop myself!
I could go for a drink.
- We can get beer with curry.
Chainsmoker Cat, Chainsmoker Cat
Chainsmoker Cat
What?
It's a cicada!
Watch out!
You're like Miyamoto Musashi.
- Those were some serious reflexes!
Yeah?
I'll go wash my chopsticks.
Have fun.
Is she trying to show off
that she's not scared of bugs?
Who would use their chopsticks?
I thought she was gonna eat it.
Imoko!
How long were you planning to wash them?
Disposable chopsticks?
We got a pair from the cafeteria.
Thank you.
But isn't the cafeteria far from here?
Well, you know…
We figured you wouldn't want
to use those chopsticks to eat.
Right.
You're purring so loud!
Are you going through puberty?
No!
- Now, now.
There, there.
I mean, maybe.
What are you doing?!
At least cook it first!
Is that what you're going with?
Tastes like shrimp.
Subtitle translation by: Zensho Yamamoto
THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION.
UNDERAGE SMOKING AND DRINKING
IS PROHIBITED. DO NOT IMITATE.