Eternally Yours (2026) s01e05 Episode Script

Thank you for the blood, Steve.
Uh, by any chance, did you start
eating strawberries recently?
Yeah. I'm getting
into smoothies.
- Yum. Well, keep it up.
- Say, you want to hang
really quick? Watch a game?
- No, thank you.
- We could just read together.
- [door closes]
- CHARLES: Liz.
You owe me five dollars.
It was strawberries.
Charles, do you think,
I-I don't know,
maybe it's possible that
you're a little rude to Steve?
To who?
Oh, the walking blood bag?
I don't think
I'm rude to him, no.
Okay, well, it's just,
he's clearly craving
some sort of connection
with you,
and I think if you took the time
to get to know Steve,
who knows,
you might really like him.
Unfortunately,
I don't have that kind of time.
- You literally live forever.
- And yet,
still not long enough for Steve.
Mmm!
Delicious, fresh-squeezed Steve.
[exhales]
Yeah, could I get some of that?
Mm-hmm.
♪
Does that look straight?
Yeah.
Mom, is it wise for us to have
a nine-million-dollar painting
just hanging in our entryway?
Nobody knows
it's an actual Renoir.
And this way, I get to enjoy it.
And think back
on a beautiful summer.
Okay. Always kind of wondered,
did anything ever happen
between you and that Renoir guy?
No. But he wanted it to.
He caught a glimpse of my knee
at a Parisian picnic.
Oof. I left him
panting like a dog.
- Mom.
- You asked.
Ugh, you hung
that thing up again?
Hello, Phyllis.
It's like every house
we move to,
we have to have that crappy
knockoff in the entryway.
It doesn't even look like
a real Renoir.
Well, we can't all have
your eye, Phyllis.
You know who makes great stuff?
My friend Diane Rispoli.
Puts it up on Etsy.
What that woman can do
with dry macaroni.
Now, that's art.
I actually have seen some
of Diane's stuff. It's good.
- Okay.
- What?
CHARLES:
Ugh, that was a day.
I am so excited
to sit on my couch
and enjoy a little Steve.
STEVE:
Aww, shucks,
well, I'm excited to enjoy
myself a little Charles.
Oh, my God.
We're having a game night, apparently.
LIZ:
Max planned it,
and he invited Steve.
As a fun surprise for all of us.
STEVE: It's so cool to be inside
your guys' house.
It looks so different
from all my sketches.
- Good, Charles, you're home.
- Max, a word in the other room?
Or we could just dive in.
But the other room
sounds good, too. Sure.
I'll take some chicken potpie,
if it's easy.
You invited him over
for game night?
What were you thinking?
Hasn't anyone ever taught you
not to play with your food?
Charles, he's not just food,
he's a person, okay?
Come on.
This will mean so much to him
- and cost you so little.
- Game night.
Why must humans devise
such elaborate ways to waste
- the brief time they have?
- [sighs]
You know what? You're right.
It's probably not
your thing anyway.
Especially the trivia game
that we were gonna play,
Minutia Battle,
in which the person
with the most
arcane knowledge
of history and world events
gets to rub it
in everyone else's faces.
Mm.
Um, I suppose I could
give it an hour.
"Which German craftsman invented
the printing press in 1450?"
Johannes Gutenberg,
although movable type
was already in use in East Asia,
a persnickety correction
that earns me
three Pedantic Points.
- Boom!
- EMMA: Can we get into some
post-Renaissance minutia?
Yeah, or how about some
Old West stuff?
Maybe some 1980s
Miami car culture?
STEVE:
Wow.
- Charles, you're so smart.
- Oh.
I wish I was smart.
Oh.
You okay there, Steve?
I'm feeling a little down,
maybe 'cause I just turned 50.
Oh, when was your birthday?
- Today.
- Dear God.
- Today?
- This is kind of
my birthday party.
- Oh, no.
- And just hearing about
all these
accomplished people
from throughout history,
these kings and inventors
and pop divas?
It makes me realize
I've never really done anything
with my life.
Hey, look at me.
It is never too late.
Today is the first day
of the rest of your life, Steve.
And if you go for it,
anything is possible.
- Do you really think so?
- Yeah.
I mean,
listen to this man, Steve.
He is a master motivator.
Personal trainer.
- Wow.
- And I firmly believe
that if you set your mind to it,
you can do anything
that you want.
Except doing a taco
with your tongue.
That is genetics.
- [door closes]
- PHYLLIS: Okay, sue me,
I went shopping.
But I got a lot of fun stuff
for decorating the house.
Oh, wow, Phyllis,
that is so great.
- Tell me all about it.
- EMMA: Every time we move,
Phyllis really wants to put
her stamp on the decorating,
but my mom is a pro.
How great is this?
- Whoa
- I dare you to look at that
and not smile.
- I am smiling.
- Now I know you like that
knockoff Renoir, but I think
this might look fabulous
- in the entryway.
- Huh.
But do you really want this
in such a transitional space
where people are just
sort of breezing past?
- You thinking the living room?
- That was my first thought.
- Oh.
- Although is that
too "first thought"?
Because you know the basement
could really use
some brightening up.
Or [laughs]
I love this idea--
why don't Charles and I
have it in our bedroom?
Absolutely not.
The basement it is.
Okay, but I'm gonna look at it
a lot down there
and you cannot stop me, Phyllis.
- And that's how it's done.
- MAX: Wow.
- Is that a vampire power?
- Nope.
She's just been around
a long time. Very manipulative.
- Oh.
- LIZ: Yeah.
- Thank you.
- EMMA: Mm-hmm.
So, I just received
a Craigslist message
from our friend
Steve the Blood Guy.
Sort of a thank-you note.
- Aww, that's so nice.
- I said "sort of."
- There's more.
- LIZ: Okay.
- What is going on, Charles?
- Let me read it to you
in Steve's own words:
"Dear Blythe family,
"Thank you
for the wonderful night.
"And for changing my life.
"Because of you, I've decided
to follow my dreams.
"So, I'm leaving town tonight.
"Goodbye forever.
- Love, Steve."
- So
our blood supply is moving away?
All because of young Max here.
Oh, boy.
That's it?
Liz, these rations are brutal.
I've been starving
for three days.
Then you'll be relieved to hear
no more rationing,
because we're officially
out of blood.
- JESSE: Oh, come on.
- This cannot be happening.
Still no reply from Steve.
I've sent him, like,
30 Craigslist messages.
How do you guys
not have his phone number?
- Or-or even his last name?
- LIZ: Right,
because this is our fault,
Mr. Game Night.
Sorry. Whoa, sorry.
I'm very hungry, Max.
Do you have any idea
how hard it is
to find somebody willing
to sell us his own blood,
- no questions asked?
- JESSE: Yeah.
Finding a replacement
is not easy.
I'm getting no luck
with this new listing.
It's like, bro,
I want your blood,
I don't want to send you
pictures of my feet.
LIZ:
I hate to say it, but maybe
it's time to dust off The List.
It's not what any of us want,
but I think the moment
- might call for it.
- W-What is The List?
It's a list of people we can
kill in times of scarcity.
You know, those that
the world wouldn't miss:
loners, losers, waiters who say,
"We do things a little
differently around here."
LIZ:
Unfortunately, we haven't lived
in Seattle very long,
so The List is just a guy
who stole Charles's
parking space at Target
- Quite right.
- and our elderly neighbor
- Mrs. Kellerman.
- MAX: What?
The sweet old lady
who's always gardening?
Widowed last fall,
beset with bunions.
We'd almost be
doing her a favor.
MAX:
No. No, no, no. No.
T-There has to be another way
to get blood.
- What about animals?
- [gasps] Oh, wait.
We never thought of animals.
CHARLES: Max has revolutionized
our entire existence.
Why, songs will be sung
about him.
- Animal blood doesn't work, man.
- Yeah, I got that.
Wait, you guys,
what about a blood bank?
JESSE:
Nah, they don't do withdrawals.
I've asked, and they get
really weird about it.
No, I'm talking about
robbing a blood bank.
- That's interesting.
- JESSE: Dude. Yes.
I've always wanted
to rob a bank.
I don't know
if you know this about me,
but I'm from the Old West.
Or as we used to call it
back then, the West.
[Phyllis growls]
No, that's not right.
What do giraffes say?
Oh. Hey, Phyllis. Don't mind me,
I'm just grabbing
- some clothes from my boxes.
- Oh, yeah, you got a lot
of stuff down here.
Yeah, I know, I should really go
through and weed some stuff out.
At the old place,
I was living alone.
- I'm still getting used
to this coven life.
- What?
I said that I'm loving life.
W-Which is of course
'cause I'm alive.
The point is,
I'm keeping my boxes down here
for the time being
'cause Liz said
she wanted them out of the way.
So, she said the basement
is where she wanted things
out of the way?
- Uh, yeah.
- Huh.
Interesting.
Is it?
♪
Son of a bitch. She played me.
And nobody plays Phyllis.
You want to know why?
'Cause you're a really big dill.
Exactly.
JESSE:
All right, here's the mission:
we break into the blood bank,
secure the goods
and escape undetected.
And here's how we do it.
We roll up under cover of night.
Max, you'll use bolt cutters
to breach the perimeter.
I could easily use
super strength
to just rip the fence open,
- but wanted you
to feel included.
- MAX: Thank you.
JESSE: Once we're
through the fence, Charles,
you'll use telekinesis
to disable the security cameras.
Then Emma,
you'll pick the locks,
because you've got tiny hands
and you dated Houdini.
- What?
- Max, I have a past.
Get over it.
JESSE:
Once we're in, I evade security
and get the goods.
- Wow. That's high.
- Hey.
JESSE:
Then we grab the blood
and we're out.
Bingo.
Now, let's do this.
- Yep.
- After they close.
- Oh, yeah.
- JESSE: And when it gets dark.
- Maybe let the traffic die down.
- CHARLES: So, like,
- a while from now.
- Yeah, like, a little while.
- Want to watch a movie?
- Let's watch a movie.
- Yeah, let's watch a movie.
- Just relax a little bit.
Okay, let's go.
Oh! Phyllis.
[exhales]
Phyllis?
Liz?
What is that giraffe painting
doing on the wall?
And why is my Renoir
type painting over there?
Because you tricked me
into hiding
my giraffe in the basement.
Just like you've been doing
to all my cool statement pieces
for, apparently,
the last 30 years.
- Well, that ends now, lady.
- Okay, Phyllis,
I am very hungry.
I haven't eaten all day.
I really don't want to debate
this with you right now.
I can't have that giraffe
in the entryway.
- Why not?
- Because it's not art.
It's garbage.
Hideous, tacky, junk-bin crap.
Just like everything you buy.
- You take that back.
- No.
Well, then, your painting
is garbage now, too.
- What does that mean?
- It means this.
No! No, no! [screams]
[gasps]
EMMA:
Just give me a minute
with this lock, guys.
Charles, great job
with those security cameras.
- Thank you.
- And Max, I'm sure
you could've cut
through a fence
had there been one.
- We believe in you.
- MAX: Yeah?
I mean, I've got special skills,
too, you know,
even if I haven't developed
a bunch of vampire powers yet.
- Like what?
- Uh, conversational Spanish.
Horseback riding.
Also, I was captain
of my college improv team.
- Really?
- Well, I mean,
we were all captains.
It's a collaborative art form.
- [lock clicks]
- Got it.
Hey. Yes, Emma.
Hey, excellent teamwork, guys.
We planned, we executed
and now we finish the job.
- Oh, crap.
- What?
We can't enter without
being formally invited in.
Oh, because we're
Right, got it.
- Little fly in the ointment.
- Oh.
- Oh, here.
- Oh. You, sir.
CHARLES:
Hello.
Would you mind inviting us in?
Just a simple invite.
- JESSE: Ah. Thank you.
- EMMA: Yay.
[alarm sounding]
- EMMA: Guess not. Okay. Go.
- CHARLES: Oh-- oh
JESSE:
Okay, run, run, run. Go. Yeah.
Maybe we do this in the kitchen.
You know?
Lot of tile, easy cleanup.
No, I think the living room
will work.
We'll put a tarp down and just
roll her body up in that
- when we're done.
- What are you guys
talking about?
EMMA: It's time.
We have no other choice.
- We're killing Kellerman.
- What? Guys, no.
We invited her over for tea,
which we're gonna
let her have, 'cause it's
the decent thing to do.
Before you literally murder her?
CHARLES: Look, none of us
wants to kill Mrs. Kellerman.
I do. She looks delicious.
Her skin's so papery-thin,
she's a delicacy.
But, uh, do we have to kill her?
I mean,
can't-can't we just bite her
and suck a little of her blood?
Oh, yes, we'll just drink
a little bit
and send her on her way.
What a revelatory idea.
He's done it again.
Dad, he doesn't know.
He's trying to help.
Biting her would turn her
into a vampire, Max.
- But in Twilight
- Never
- "but in Twilight" us, bro.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[doorbell rings]
Hello.
- Steve?
- STEVE: Hi.
I got all your messages.
I'm back.
My dream didn't work out.
I'm basically
a complete failure.
Uh-huh. Say, is there blood
in that cooler?
Oh. Yeah.
- Here you go.
- Well, I should be going.
Y-You're not even gonna try
to hang out?
What's the point?
Why would anyone
want to hang out
with a loser like me?
All righty, then.
See you Wednesday.
Oh, mama.
Who's hungry?
What? What?
He just seemed so sad.
Yeah, I don't feel great
about this.
Isn't this what we all wanted?
Steve's back,
the blood is flowing.
Plus, added bonus, he doesn't
even want to hang out anymore.
Because he seems like
he lost his will to live.
I just feel like
we know him now.
You know,
we played games together.
We watched him eat nuts.
I miss his laugh.
This is ridiculous.
But I also newly feel some
concern for Steve's well-being.
Damn you, Max.
Well, let's go get him.
We'll fan out,
super-speed, we'll find his car.
He can't have gotten
too far yet.
[Steve crying]
Yeah, I think
he's crying on our stoop.
Steve?
STEVE:
I just need a couple minutes.
CHARLES: All right.
We'll down some Steve,
and then find out
why Steve's down.
- JESSE: Yeah.
- EMMA: Yeah.
- Hey, Liz. Can I come in?
- Mm. Yes.
Sure, Phyllis.
I want to apologize.
I'm sorry for lashing out.
It's not an excuse,
but I am recovering
from the bubonic plague,
and the meds
make me a little edgy.
I'm sorry, too.
I shouldn't have said
those things.
It's just, that painting
is quite valuable.
I get it. Valuable to you.
Like the giraffe painting
is to me.
[laughs softly]
Right.
When I first moved in
with Jesse and you guys,
it felt like I was
moving into your house.
And I didn't want
to step on your toes.
And I know it can be hard
when another mama giraffe
joins the herd.
There can be conflict.
[low bellow]
W-What is-- what is that?
It's a giraffe sound.
I looked it up.
They actually
don't have vocal cords
but occasionally emit
low humming sounds.
- Okay.
- Anyway, I hoped eventually
your house
would become our house.
But it never really did,
which kind of makes me sad.
Hmm.
[low bellow]
Again, they only make
the one sound,
so it sort of has to encompass
a range of emotion.
Got it. Look,
I just think we have
very different taste.
But you're right, Phyllis.
I guess I never
really thought about things
from your perspective.
This is our house.
And going forward, I promise
to be more mindful of that.
Aww, that's sweet.
- [laughs softly]
- But talk is cheap.
- What?
- I want three funny mugs
in the kitchen,
two sassy pillows
in the living room,
and my gnomes
are going on that mantel.
The gnomes? Really?
Gnome sweet gnome, baby.
And if not, I turn
the whole house against you.
Jesse's got a lot
of framed hockey jerseys
stowed away in that basement.
And I think I heard
Max say something
about his collection
of jazz posters.
Stop. Stop.
Okay, we can do
the Christmas gnomes.
[chuckles]:
Oh, sweetie.
They're not seasonal.
Those babies are year-round.
I got to say, Phyllis,
I'm a little impressed.
I didn't know
you had this in you.
Well, I'm a really big dill.
Did you say "dill"?
It'll make more sense when
you see your new living room.
[chuckling]
So, where did you go, Steve?
Tell us what happened.
The story begins
a long time ago.
When I was a boy,
I watched that movie Rudy,
about an undersized kid
with a big dream
to walk on to the Notre Dame
football team.
Ah, that's a great movie.
You know, I actually
prefer Hoosiers,
if we're comparing
Indiana-based sport films.
But you can read more about that
on my Letterboxd.
Sorry, go on.
I had a dream, just like Rudy.
But then, years passed,
and I forgot about my dream.
Until game night
at my 50th birthday party.
JESSE:
So, what was it, bro?
I mean, what was the dream?
To walk on to the Notre Dame
football team.
I said it was just like Rudy.
Are you guys even listening?
Oh, so you weren't
just inspired by Rudy,
you literally copied his dream.
CHARLES:
Sorry, just quickly, you tried
to walk on
to the Notre Dame football team
at age 50?
Don't you have to be enrolled
at the school?
You sound just like
the security guard.
Who was not cool and not wise
and did not take me under
his wing like Charles Dutton.
And just like that,
my dream was dead.
And now, here I am.
Back to being a failure.
Oh. Y-You're not
a failure, Steve.
Oh, yeah? Why not?
Why not?
Why not indeed.
MAX:
Because
you
save lives.
For instance,
we have an elderly neighbor,
Mrs. Kellerman,
and she would be dead
right now if it wasn't for you.
- What do you mean?
- [Jesse chuckles]
Yeah. Where are you going
with this, Max?
Well, I think Steve
deserves to know the truth.
- Is Steve wipe-able?
- I don't know,
- he's a pretty big guy.
- It's based on weight?
- It seems to have some bearing.
- MAX: Steve,
the reason
that we buy your blood
- is because
- [quietly]: Oh, my God.
we are part of a secret
government program.
And your blood
contains a rare protein
that scientists use
to synthesize
cutting-edge medical treatments.
- Really?
- CHARLES: That's right.
You have had an immeasurable
impact on the world, Steve.
I don't think
it's an exaggeration to say
you've saved hundreds
of American lives.
STEVE:
So, I'm not really
a failure, I'm
[gasps]
a hero?
That's right, buddy.
MAX:
Uh, and that's why
we have to keep you
at a distance.
- Yep.
- I mean, the less we know
about you, the better.
I mean,
it's for your own protection.
That makes complete sense.
- Does it?
- He's buying it.
In that case, I should go.
You're welcome, America.
Will you tell them?
- Oh, yeah. We'll tell them.
- Sure.
Yes!
JESSE:
Max, that was awesome.
Dude, did you just come up
with that on the spot?
- Oh, hell yeah I did.
- That's why my guy was one of 20
cocaptains of his college
improv team.
Our team name was Gag Reflex,
'cause, you know,
- "gag" means joke, and
- Stop talking.
You know, I must admit,
I was glad we were able
to help Steve.
This may surprise you,
but I do sometimes
struggle with empathy.
I might have noticed it
a little.
I think because it's so long
since I was alive,
I sometimes forget
what it's like
for those who still are.
And it's good to get a reminder.
Are you, are you thanking me,
Charles?
I'm just saying that,
maybe, because you're
so recently turned,
you have a unique perspective
and
perhaps there are things
you could teach us all.
- Wow.
- Well
I really appreciate that.
I mean, helping people
is the reason I'm getting
- my degree as a therapist.
- [sighs]
And to witness
this kind of growth
All right, Tolstoy, I didn't
ask for a Russian novel.
Charles, good news.
I spoke with an art restorer.
The Renoir is fixable,
and I can take it
over there tomorrow.
Ah, what a relief.
Charles thanked me
for teaching him human stuff.
Didn't happen
and you can't prove it.
PHYLLIS:
There you are.
I have a surprise for you.
LIZ:
Okay.
- What is it?
- I know how much
your painting meant to you,
so I thought maybe
I could fix it.
And you know I am pretty handy
with a glue gun.
Oh, Phyllis, no.
- I did it myself.
- [groans]
And I added a little zhuzh.
What do you think, huh?
- [crying softly]
- Oh
PHYLLIS:
Wow.
I hoped you'd like it.
I didn't expect you
to be so moved.
But crafting can be
very powerful.
- Looks good.
- [Liz whimpers]
- I like the little lizard.
- [Liz wails]
CBS
Captioned by
access.wgbh.org