Happy Days (1974) s01e05 Episode Script

1
One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock rock
Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock rock
Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock rock
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
Put your glad rags on, join me, hon
We'll have some fun when the clock strikes one
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the clock strikes two, three, and four
If the band slows down, we'll yell for more
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the chimes ring five, six, and seven
We'll be right in seventh heaven
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the clock strikes twelve, we'll cool off then
Start a-rockin' 'round the clock again
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight ♪
If your heartaches seem to
Hang around too long
And your blues Keep getting bluer
OK, here she comes.
Here goes. Watch Moose.
go right on, baby, and cry ♪
Hey, Potsie.
Yeah?
Two for flinching.
Wipe.
Kid stuff.
Hey, Ralph.
Kid stuff.
Heard your tadpole died today in biology.
Yeah. Rock Weenspen was trying to teach it to hop,
and he dropped it.
Hey, fellas. Hey, Rich.
Hey, Rich.
Oh, listen, I'll have, uh
Rich, guess who I'm taking to the rock 'n' roll show.
Who? It's a tossup between Godzilla
and Rex, the wonder horse.
Ha ha. Well, I just invited Gloria Hofstetter.
That's great, Potsie. Hey, how'd
you ever get a date with Gloria?
Last time she went out with you was for a fire drill.
It's a snap when you have a friend like Rich.
See, Rich is going steady with Arlene,
and Arlene's Gloria's best friend.
I told her we'd double and, uh
There's only one problem -
I might not be taking Arlene now.
Rich, don't tell me that.
I couldn't get tickets. They were all sold out.
Oh, listen, I'd like to have a, uh
Man, some friend you are!
It would have been an all-star lineup -
Chuck Berry, the Mello-Kings,
Gloria Hofstetter and me.
It's not my fault.
I heard Fonzie has two tickets he's trying to sell.
Hey, crazy! Where is he? The garage?
No, he said he had something
good to write on the bathroom wall.
Come on, Rich.
Hey!
First dibs if it's a phone number.
Hey, Fonz. Hey, that's crazy.
Yeah. Hey, we heard you had some tickets
to the rock 'n' roll show.
Yeah. Oh, that's fantastic.
But I already sold them to Iggy Wilson.
Hey, Rich, we're buddies.
I'll see what I can do about getting another pair.
I dig doin' the impossible.
Great! How much? Six bucks.
Oh, six bucks.
I don't know if I can raise that kind of money.
Well, like Doris Day says, "Que sera sera."
Hey, duck tail ain't for you, Kovett.
Ha-ha-ha!
I guess I'm gonna have to ask my father for the money.
Ah, no sweat.
Just tell him it's the biggest bash
ever staged in this town.
There'll be dancin' in the aisles
and a million classy chicks - it'll be a blast!
You're right. Better tell him you need it for school.
Well, you're home early, dear.
Don't come too close, Marion. I may be contagious.
You're having another one of your sore throats?
Who else's sore throat would I have?
I knew it last night. You were gargling in your sleep.
I'll get you something to fix that.
Honey will make you feel better.
I read in Collier's that the ancient Egyptians
used honey as medicine.
And how many ancient Egyptians do you see around today, huh?
Come on now. Choo, choo, choo, choo.
What are you doing, Marion?
Joanie always takes her medicine with a train.
I am not Joanie. I'm a fully grown man,
perfectly capable of opening my
mouth without, "Choo, choo, choo, choo."
Come on. Now open.
I don't want to.
Howard! Open.
Mmm.
Now don't swallow. Don't swallow.
Tilt your head back and let the honey coat your throat.
Now stay there. I'll be right back.
Something wrong with the ceiling, Dad?
No. I have a sore throat,
and I was just holding some honey on it.
I had an uncle who could hold five walnuts in his mouth.
What's that supposed to mean?
I don't know, but he never had a sore throat.
Potsie, if you don't mind,
I'm really not up to hearing about your family problems.
Yeah, um, well, I better get goin'.
Hope you feel better, Mr. C.
Good luck, Rich.
Yeah, thanks.
You want something, Richard?
Oh, what makes you say that, Dad?
Potsie wished you luck.
Now, what is it you need from me
that requires luck, huh?
Well, um Would you like some honey?
Oh, no. N-No, thanks.
Um, you see, Dad, I have this date tonight.
Mm-hmm.
And, um What are you doing, Marion?
When I was a little girl and had a sore throat,
my Grandma Bruner would put a wool sock around my neck
and give me brandy and warm water.
You know, I knew your grandmother
was a very strange lady,
but I did not know she was also a lush.
Why don't you go upstairs and rest,
and I'll fix the brandy and water.
Yeah, I feel like hitting the hay a little early.
Oh, Dad Oh, Richard, I'm sorry. I almost forgot.
How much do you need?
Oh, well, uh $6.
How much?
You can consider it an advance
on my allowance.
Oh, I will. Let me see now.
This brings your advance up to around the year 1959.
Thanks, Dad. I'll be home for dinner, Mom.
All right, dear.
Look, honey, would you make that a double brandy?
One to forget my sore throat
and one to forget this sock around my neck.
Uh, Fonzie? Richie?
Yeah. Hey, listen, could I talk to you for a minute?
Yeah.
I got the money.
I got the tickets.
Oh, great!
Oh, when I told Arlene we were
going, she was really excited.
Yeah, that's nice.
Uh, listen, could we finish our business?
Oh, sure, sure. There you go. Whoo!
You should've seen her face when I told her.
I mean, she was really happy about the whole thing.
Hey, Rich, this is a rush job.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, listen, thanks again.
Yeah.
Oh, this is terrific.
Hey, congratulations.
Hot to trot, huh?
Doo doo do-doo doo-da-doo ♪
What are you doin'?
Dr. McKay's in there with Daddy.
What's happening?
Dr. McKay's asking Dad why he has a sock around his neck.
Now Dr. McKay's laughing.
Look, I refuse to go to the hospital.
There's nothing to get upset about, Howard.
Lots of people have their tonsils out.
"Dad, you goi" to the hospital?
Not necessarily.
I can get you into the hospital tomorrow morning,
and you'll have your tonsils out by six that afternoon.
Even the laundry can't give you that kind of service
on your shirts.
You think about it and leave a message with my nurse.
I've got a case of croup down the block.
I can't wait to tell them about that sock around your neck.
It always worked for Grandma Bruner.
Now, look, Marion, we just can't rush into things like this.
There's-There's a lot to consider.
I mean, who's gonna take care of the hardware store?
You know Mr. Fenster's on vacation.
You could call Chuck.
He's got an out-of-town basketball game.
Then I'm sure Richard wouldn't mind
keeping an eye on it for the day. Right, Richard?
This Saturday?
Yes.
I hate to close up on Saturday. It's usually my busiest day.
Last week, I was there till 9:00.
9:00 at night?
Did you have plans, dear?
No. No, I-I can take care of it, Dad.
If you're sick, I wanna help out.
See, there's nothing to worry about.
Richard can be the man of the family on Saturday.
But there's something I have to take care of at Arnold's.
Standin' on the corner, watchin' all the girls go by ♪
I got another one. Here.
But, lady, I'm not quite in the elevator yet.
Wait, I got one, too. Mama, you made my ponytail too tight.
Hey, I got more, I got more.
Watch out for the revolving door.
What reeving door-door-door?
One more. What's this? What's this?
A butterfly with the hiccups.
Right. One more, one more.
Hey, Ralph, have you seen Fonzie around?
Yeah. Where is he?
Pull it out, pull it out.
Come on, where's Fonzie?
He's over having his picture made.
Thanks. Ralph's gotta be a card, right?
See, I'm funny, I'm funny.
Don't you knock before you come into a man's office?
I'm sorry to bother you,
but listen, about these tickets
It's OK. You don't have to keep on thankin' me.
I know, but I was wondering if I could get a refund.
A refund? I ain't no department store.
Something came up. I hate to disappoint Arlene.
Yeah, and I hate to give back money.
My father got sick, and I can't go.
I promise I won't bother you anymore.
I hope you know how much
you're upsetting my finances,
not to mention Debbie here.
Oh, sorry. Sorry, Debbie.
Thanks a million.
Yeah.
Don't you got any manners at all?
Gee, didn't I say thanks?
You left the door to my office open.
Oh.
Marion, I'm only going to the hospital for a few days.
I'm not taking a two-week cruise.
It's good to have extra clothes, just in case.
Of course. After all, they might decide to
have a dance in the intensive-care ward.
Oh
Hey, Dad! You're going to the hospital pretty soon, huh?
That's right, Joanie. You going to miss me?
No.
Oh.
Dad, you're only gonna be gone a little while.
Are you scared?
Well, maybe a little bit.
There's nothing to be scared about.
The operation's no sweat.
All they do is stick you in this
little room and rip out your throat.
Uh, Marion, have you seen my coat?
Oh.
But afterwards, you get to eat
as much ice cream as you want.
Well, that's nice.
But if you eat any, you usually throw up.
Then your throat kills you.
Uh, look, sweetheart,
wouldn't you like to go outside and
play with your Hula-Hoop for a while?
OK. Bye, Dad.
Goodbye.
Good luck.
She said that like I was flying a mission over Tokyo.
Would you like to come here and help me with this, dear?
I got everything but The Saturday Evening Post.
Oh. Thank you, Richard.
You see, your mother wanted
to pack it, and I wanted to wear it,
so we decided to compromise.
Oh, Howard.
Are you coming with us, dear?
Well, I was just gonna make a phone call,
but I can do it at the hospital.
I gotta break a date. What date?
I was gonna take Arlene to the rock 'n' roll show tonight.
Another cultural evening.
Why are you breaking it?
'Cause I have to work tonight.
Dad, you said you usually stay at the store
until 9:00 on Saturdays.
That's your dad. He likes to stay late.
Does he have to miss the show, Howard?
You can close the store at 5:00.
Oh, that's great! That's awful.
That's a very good impersonation of Jekyll and Hyde.
I'll wait in the car.
Marion, did you pack my socks?
What's the matter, Richard?
I gave my tickets back to Fonzie.
Well, just ask Fonzie to give them back to you.
That's sorta like asking Khrushchev to give back Poland.
OK, thanks a lot. Bye.
You can't get ahold of Fonzie, huh?
I called Arnold's, Otto's Auto Orphanage,
Fat Melba's Burger Town.
He's probably sold the tickets by now, anyway.
Marion, you forgot to pack my drawstring.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I think Joanie used it to play Cat's Cradle.
I may have an extra.
Oh, thank you, Mr. Egan.
That's very kind of you.
Oh, yes.
So, you're, uh, only gonna be with us for a few days?
Yes, just a minor operation - tonsils.
I had a brother-in-law had his tonsils out.
Oh, is that right?
Yeah, he was layin' in bed after the operation and
bingo.
Bingo? What bingo?
His number came up.
But at least he went in his sleep.
How terrible.
He was a young man, too. Younger than you.
He loved fried foods.
I love fried foods.
Oh, Howard, there is nothing to worry about.
Yeah, that's right.
Your number comes up, it doesn't pay to worry.
Had a cousin with gallstones - bingo.
Another bingo.
Then one day, I remember
If you don't mind, I'd really rather not hear about it.
Oh, all right.
Just trying to make conversation.
Look, you two better go if Richie's
gonna open the store on time.
If there's anything you want, just call.
I will.
Take it easy, Dad. Yeah, I will.
And don't worry. Your mother's right.
Everything's gonna be fine.
I don't know
but I'm not sayin' a word.
Hey, Rich, I found him.
Oh, Fonzie. Gee, am I glad to see you.
Yeah, sure, you're glad,
but Debbie ain't so glad sittin' in that phone booth.
I'll apologize to Debbie.
I hear you wanna play musical chairs with these tickets.
I'd like to buy 'em back. It's really important.
Arlene has her heart set on going.
And Gloria won't go if Arlene doesn't go.
And Arlene told me
Hey, hey, I don't need true confessions.
I already sold the tickets.
But I happen to have another pair.
Hey, we're all set!
That's terrific! How can I ever repay you?
Well, you could start by givin' me the money.
Oh, yeah, well, sure.
OK, $6. Great.
Hey, that's rough, Rich.
Now you don't have popcorn money.
Never let it be said
that Fonzie interfered with puppy love. Hey!
Arlene's really gonna be happy about this.
Yeah, so will Gloria.
Hey, me and dear Abby spend our time
makin' little hearts glad.
Fonzie.
OK, the all-purpose oil, the flashlight batteries,
and the portable radio.
It's amazing how small they can make a radio these days.
Well, that's progress. Will that be all?
I think that's all you need.
How do you know?
Oh, well, I don't know. I mean, just a lucky guess.
Well, you're right. There's no use throwing money around.
Right. Thank you very much, sir.
Thank you. Bye, son.
Come on, Rich, let's cut.
I told the girls we'd be there ten minutes ago.
Oh, now we're shakin'!
I just gotta lock up,
and then we are gonna see the best show of our lives!
Look, I just gotta find the key. There it is.
Oh, wait a minute. I gotta turn the lights off.
Oh, Potsie the door!
What? The door - it's locked.
Well, open it.
It's kinda tough when the keys are on the outside.
I don't understand.
You have to have the key to unlock it,
even from the inside. I still don't understand.
We can't get out. That I understand.
You got a spare set of keys?
There's gotta be a spare set around here somewhere.
I'll call my dad. He'd know.
Hey, great, great! Hurry up!
I don't want to miss the start of the concert.
I heard that's when Chuck Berry does his best hoppin'.
Well, pick it up!
Hello? Richard, where are you?
Hi, Mom. Could I talk to Dad?
Well, I'm not sure that you should talk to him now.
He's resting.
Is that Richard? Yes, dear.
Let me talk to him.
He probably called to see if I'm all right.
Richard, don't worry. I'm fine.
Dad, you know the front door to the store?
Well, it's locked.
Oh, that's a good boy.
Now that you got everything locked up,
you can go and enjoy the rock 'n' roll.
No, see, Dad, you don't understand
Your father can't talk to you now, Richard.
He suddenly decided to take a nap.
He'll be able to talk to you tomorrow.
Enjoy the concert.
Well?
They can't help us.
My dad's asleep, and my mom's busy worrying.
Let's approach this logically.
How would Mickey Spillane get out of this?
Well, go through the transom?
Nah. It seems Mickey would try something flashier.
Mickey wouldn't have locked himself in.
Come on, get that ladder. We'll give it a try.
I think we can make it through there, don't you?
It's worth trying. Let's go.
Can you get up there all right?
Sure, no problem.
I think we can make it out all right
if I can get rid of that chain.
Uh, give me a screwdriver, OK?
Sure. Here you go, Rich.
Thanks.
Is that better?
Yeah, I gotta reach up here a little bit
Oh!
Hang on, Rich.
Oh, no!
OK?
Fine.
Here's your keys.
I don't even believe this.
Look, we can still make it in time for the show.
We'll miss a little of Chuck Berry, but I can't go.
Rich, this is no time to be goody-two-shoes.
I'm not being goody-two-shoes.
But I have a responsibility here, that's all.
Aw, what are you worried about?
Anybody who'd rob the place is at the rock 'n' roll show.
No, I gotta call a glass man and wait till he gets here.
Really? Yeah.
Well, we'll do it your way.
Here take Arlene and Gloria.
Hey, thanks.
I'll try and sell your ticket and
get some of your money back.
Oh, that would be nice. Thanks.
Don't mention it.
Well, I better be goin'.
I'll let you out. Huh?
You still need the key.
Oh
Hey, Rich, if you want me to stay with you, I will.
Oh, no. No, there's no reason
why you and the girls should miss it, too.
You go ahead. I got the radio to keep me company.
Well, you're still my best friend,
but you sure have rotten luck.
See ya.
Oh, hey, have a good time.
Thanks, Rich.
But for all you cats who couldn't make it to the big show,
I'll be spinning a stack of wax to help ease the pain.
This one is dedicated to Sue by Joe, Bob, Frank,
and the entire backfield of Whitman High.
It's not like I was the only one
who's not going to the rock 'n' roll show.
Uh, hello, could I speak to Mr. Phelps, please?
I have a broken glass that needs fixing right away.
Well, when will he be back?
Right after the rock 'n' roll show?
Well, thanks. I'll call back later.
Will this be my day?
If you'll ever smile on me
Please let it be now ♪
I'm glad you're feeling better, dear.
The doctor says you can go to work in a couple of days.
No more, Marion. My tongue is frozen.
Come on, one more spoonful.
The doctor says it's good for you.
I don't want any!
And the choo-choo isn't gonna help this time.
Did they put your tonsils in a bottle?
They don't do that for grown-ups, dear.
Oh, I guess that ruins my plans for show and tell.
Oh, I think visiting hours are over.
We'll be back to see you this evening. OK.
Goodbye, Dad. Goodbye, sweetheart.
Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?
Sure. I'll cancel my cough date.
I guess Mom told you all about last night, huh?
She mentioned it.
I appreciate what you did, Richard.
I'm sorry about the window.
Well, that I didn't appreciate.
But you showed real responsibility
staying in the store like that, missing your concert,
and I respect you for it.
Well, I'm sorry I missed the concert,
but, uh, I'm glad you're feeling better now.
Thanks.
Look, you better get out of here
before the head nurse finds you.
Last person she caught here after-hours
ended up on the critical list.
OK. Take care, Dad.
That's quite a kid I got there, Mr. Egan.
You know what he did?
I don't wanna hear about it.
Happy days ♪
Hello, sunshine, goodbye, rain
She's wearin' my school ring on her chain
She's my steady, I'm her man
I'm gonna love her all I can
This day is ours
Won't you be mine? These happy days
This day is ours
Oh, please be mine Oh, happy days
Happy days ♪