Hell Motel (2025) s01e05 Episode Script
Jailbait
1
[rain pouring]
[wind howling]
[footsteps pattering]
[heavy breathing]
[heavy breathing]
[suspenseful music]
Jesus.
[muttering]: Who would do
something like this?
A psycho, that's who.
A talented one.
Adriana
What? Kawayan was all about art
- He didn't want to die for it!
- I know, okay?
But if he had to pick a way to go
- [gagging]
- Hey, you okay?
[muttering]: Yeah. Blood on set
can get pretty realistic,
but it doesn't smell like
Sorry. I have to, the smell.
I have to I'm sorry.
Wait up, honey.
I actually don't mind it.
[scoffing]
Like people don't mind
the smell of bleach
or markers or gasoline.
You're one sick puppy.
[rain pouring outside]
- And you were doing so well.
- I know.
I think it's a coping mechanism.
Maybe it's time to find a different one.
Mm-hmm.
Because I just agreed with Floyd.
For the first time ever.
Congratulations on making that happen.
[door opening]
[sinister music]
[theme music]
[wind howling]
We know who the killer is.
Sure we do.
Just like every other time, right?
Did you wanna fill
the rest of "we" in?
Because I'm clueless over here.
Well, we don't know specifically,
but we know it has to be one of us.
Come on. You're making it sound like
we're one of those old
country house murder mysteries.
No, I'm no Sherlock Holmes.
Okay? All we know is that
there's no one else around.
Okay? So, this has to be an inside job.
I'm thinking it just might be you.
Okay.
Well, let's let's put it
all out in the open.
What makes you say that?
You're sitting there on your high horse,
tossing accusations around
like you're
- making it rain on the peasants.
- He has got a point.
And you were the one to find the body.
Classic killer move.
Cover up the tracks by
pretending you stumbled
on your own crime scene.
[scoffing]
I'm thinking I might be
married to Sherlock.
I haven't accused anyone yet
and I included myself.
I'm just stating our givens here.
Sure Sure you are.
You know, you're the only ones
that sound
like they're throwing
accusations around now.
And we all found Crow. Together.
So?
So, does that make all of us the killer?
You mean like with Ruby?
Where we all did it?
Or-or let it happen
to an innocent woman?
You know, Paige?
You were the one to lead us
to Crow's body.
What?
I heard him. Through my vent.
Nobody else did. Just saying.
Then I'm gonna say that
these crimes require strength.
And you're one of the physically
strongest ones left here.
I don't think it's Blake.
You got a reason, or are
we just going off vibes?
You know, Floyd, I don't really give
a shit what you think.
My money's still on you anyway.
Wanna back that up with anything?
Okay. This is precisely
how the four of you
ended up attacking Ruby.
And you started it, Scream Queen.
[whispering]: Out there.
Guys.
[tense music]
Wait, wait, wait, is it safe?
I think it's six against one.
[rain pouring]
- There
- [shushing]
[suspenseful music]
Try me, asshole.
[grunting] Got him!
- No!
- Kill him!
No! You know me!
- The fucking limo driver?
- Are you kidding me?
- What are you doing here?
- Explain. Fast!
Don't hurt me! Please!
Jesus Christ, what happened
to you people?
[ominous music]
Christ on a bike.
- Yeah.[gagging]
- So you can see why didn't
exactly roll out the welcome mat.
[gasping]
I gotta get out of here!
This is so crazy,
I gotta get out of here!
[groaning, shouting]
You're not going anywhere!
Blake, Blake, take it easy.
They are dead!
[whimpering]
Cold. They are people!
And there's guts all
Argh! Everywhere!
And flowers in that guy's stomach!
What the hell is happening
in this cursed place?!
Take it easy on him, would you?
You're safe, Blake. Take a breath.
[driver choking]
- He's a murderer.
- I don't think he is.
[panting]
[driver whimpering]
[ominous music]
Tell me how-how I can prove it to you.
I'm a Christian! I'll swear
on a stack of Bibles
- if you want me to
- Hey, hey.
Your belief in some imaginary sky papa
doesn't get you any special
privileges from me.
I believe him. Look at his face.
Some of those cuts have glass in them.
I hit that hairpin turn
out near 86 and it was all over.
- You skidded out?
- Into the tree.
- Didn't see nobody for hours.
- I'd have stayed in the car.
Yeah. Great plan 'til the gas
and the battery cacked out.
I figured I might as well walk.
You could've been attacked
by wild animals-.
I'd rather die in my boots. And I
[sniffles]
I got Matilda here
- [all shouting]
- Whoa, whoa!
No, no, no. It's not what
it looks like. It's
I've been carrying for years.
Sometimes you need a little protection
against some drunken asshole
passenger or car-jacker.
You know, when you're
gigging down in the city.
- [heavy breathing]
- I need some air.
Would-would you put
the gun away, please?
I need to clean the cuts
on your face anyway.
Alright. Alright, I get it.
- Look, I'm gonna go
- check on Blake. You good?
Yeah.
Okay, let's see here
[indistinct whispering]
I'm gonna need some tweezers,
They look bad.
[suspenseful music]
[wind howling]
- Hey.
- [exhaling deeply]
- Are you thinking
- Yeah, I was.
It's gotta be him. Right?
- I
- Right?
I don't like it.
Yeah, look, all of us
have been accounted for
at various points.
There-there's no way any of us
could have done every killing
Who gets out of the safety
and warmth of a car
in the middle of the night
to go in the woods
- and hang out with bears?
- An idiot or a murderer.
Yeah. So-So, we get the gun
off of him, yeah?
Lock him up somewhere?
There's a utility shed out back.
- How do you know that?
- 'Cause I was parked
in the RV. I-I was looking around for
- So it's out back
- Okay, okay.
How do we get JP back outside
That-that ain't happening!
What are you guys talking about?
Just keeping the group safe.
If you're making decisions
for the group,
- did you wanna include all of us?
- Unless ladies aren't
considered members of the group?
You know, you seemed
pretty friendly with him,
so we thought that
we'd just talk without you.
- The thing is, I know killers.
- I know them in my soul.
I can sense them.
It's like this radar I have.
- Well, here we go
- The fact that you like him
- is suspect.
- Well, I used to like you.
Does that make you a killer? [laughing]
Do you have something
you'd like to say, Floyd?
Just wondering if anybody's
ever asked you
- to help with justice reform.
- No.
Well, here's my idea,
we wire up your pussy
like it's an electric chair.
Let every psycho killer screw their way
right out of this world. Everybody wins!
Floyd, you crossed the line.
Really? Because I thought
that was her whole personality.
Making herself interesting by offering
the worst of the worst free admission
to her toxic little meat purse.
You owe Adriana an apology right now
- [JP coughing]
- Sit down, you snobby bitch!
Do not call her a bitch.
Can we just all, please, calm
Do not fucking tell us to calm down!
- Whoa, whoa!
- I bet you were calling
all of us bitches
when you were making decisions
- without us in the room.
- That did not happen,
- I promise you.
- I'm feeling like you guys
need to pay a little visit to the sauna.
You're making a joke out of that?
I think you boys
can't handle it when a woman
- speaks their own mind!
- You know, maybe he just
doesn't think that murder is funny!
But you're fine
with Floyd spewing all kinds
of toxic bullshit. I didn't hear you
trying to censor it, did you?!
I didn't fucking hear you!
[overlapping arguments]
- [gunshot blaring]
- Whoa!
[birds scattering]
Here's what's gonna happen.
Paige and I are gonna take this gun
and we're gonna go to my room.
Shirley, you can come if you want.
Anyone who has a dick,
or who identifies as a dick cannot come!
- I'm not a killer.
- What, just because I'm a guy?
85 % of the killers
in the world are men, Blake.
Fact.
So, how do we improve
our odds of survival?
Yeah, that's right.
We leave this big bag
of homicidal dicks out here.
That's a good point.
Yeah, go get as much food as you can.
- Yeah, I-I saw some thermoses.
- I'll get us some hot drinks.
Thank you, Shirley,
you made the right choice.
This is a bad idea.
A bad idea is sitting around
in a room of pathetic,
male egos, waiting for them
to blow up on each other,
and hoping you don't
get hit by the shrapnel.
Can I come?
I wanna come!
You got any fallopian tubes
under that cheap suit there, JP?
What's a fallopian?
There's your answer.
Bye, boys.
[tense music]
[rain pouring]
Okay, let's move this
over by the wall there.
Okay. We're secure now.
[sighing]
Hope Floyd's okay without you.
Floyd can learn to watch
his mouth or go to hell.
- Whichever comes first.
- That's surprising.
Why?
You and Floyd seem pretty tight.
I've been a woman longer
than I've been a wife, so
That doesn't necessarily mean anything.
I know plenty of women
who'd put men first, every time.
Even one's that are not married to him.
Floyd's mostly just a grumpy
bear with a trucker's mouth.
But even the grumpiest of bears
needs their honey taken away
every now and then,
just to keep them in line.
So [sighing]
Okay. [fridge opening and closing]
[laughing] Okay.
We got Manson Muscat
Boston Strangler Sauvignon or
Panzram Prosecco.
What's a Panzram?
1920s, American, no victim profile
Girls, boys, women, men. [sighing]
Good old Carl Panzram
would sodomize and murder them all.
His last words
to the executioner were:
"Hurry it up.
I could kill 10 men
while you're screwing around here."
That's pretty cool, right?
The Strangler Sauvignon
sounds great, thanks.
[chuckling]
Ruby was going real hard
on the branding, huh?
You know, my thing is
we all had that girl friend
in high school who got cornered
at a house party.
Yeah, or we were that girl
in high school
who got cornered at a house party.
And that's when we learn,
or the smart ones do.
[can cracks open]
You can only trust a man so far.
- Mm-hmm, cheers to that.
- To being bitches.
On our own terms.
[laughing]
[pitter-patter of rain]
So, what? We're just sitting here?
'Til the satellites go back up
and we can reach someone,
or we can get out of here safely.
[sighing]
You know, the weather's getting better.
- It's gotta be soon.
- The roads are a disaster zone.
One of the bridges is out.
Do you have another suggestion?
I'll keep my mouth shut.
Are you, though?
Still sounds like a lot
of bullshit to me.
Crazy pants said that
80 % of killers are men.
- You know why?
- Testosterone.
And who has more of that?
Old-timers?
Or young dumb and full of cum?
Mmm.
- [sighing]
- You should have another.
There's no one left to charge us for it.
Do you want me passed out in your room?
You could have the whole
bed to yourself.
- [laughing]
- That never happens.
And no snoring!
Sleeping like an old-timey
Egyptian queen.
[chuckling]- So how long have
you and Floyd been together?
Mm? 20 years?
Incredible.
The most I've ever gone
is, like, two years.
Mmm. Well, you got me beat by, uh
23 months. [laughing]
Can you explain to me how I'm the killer
if Kawayan and I faced Baphomet today?
I think explaining
is your job, Professor.
I don't have to do anything for you.
[pitter-patter of rain]
So, are we just having
staring contests now?
That's great. That's awesome.
It's like we're back in school.
Huh? Hey, hey, loser gets panted!
[laughing]
Okay, staring contest.
You guys are so weird!
God, it's the end of the world.
Scott was so good.
He'd create these scavenger hunts for me
when I got home from work.
With presents to find at the end.
Why'd you let him go?
He dumped me. Yeah.
He got a regular gig
on a big network series and
my C-Lister lifestyle
I wasn't exactly what
he had been manifesting.
Some people would kill
for that lifestyle.
You will find someone
who accepts everything
you're bringing to the table.
- I don't know. We can't all
- find a Floyd.
We complete each other.
In many ways.
God, I know I butt heads
with him big time, but
man, if that works for you, I want that.
- You do?
- Yeah. Why wouldn't I?
I think maybe I just don't get
what you're after out there,
romantically, maybe?
I don't think it's that confusing.
- I like bad boys.
- Okay yeah, no.
Lots of us do,
it's just your actual obsession
with killers, I
I just don't get how it translates
to you finding somebody real.
The killers are real.
Dennis Nilsen loved his dog.
Ed Gein loved his mother.
I mean, why couldn't I find
someone who loves me?
Because they hate and destroy women.
The heart wants what it wants.
Okay, I've been judged enough
for today, alright?
- Adriana, it's not judgement.
- I-I just really don't get it.
- Okay, it's, um
- [clearing throat]
It's like
I-I only get hot
for people who have done
really extreme things.
Extreme? Adriana, there's extreme,
and then there's fully psychotic.
No, I, it's like, uh
I like people who are different.
Like unpredictable, maybe.
Like being loved
by the most dangerous person
in the room feels important.
Does that make sense?
Honestly, no.
- [sighing]
- Do you get it, Shirley?
[scoffing]
If you want answers to the really
deep stuff,
you have to turn to an authority.
Who wants a tarot reading?
[suspenseful music]
You stare one minute longer
and I'll start charging admission.
I know it's you.
Whatever you say.
Now watch my guilty ass
head off to make a BLT.
If you want me to make you one,
you gotta play nicer.
You're not going anywhere alone.
Where's your badge, Sheriff?
No one anywhere
without a witness for everyone's safety.
You gonna wipe my ass too?
[ominous music]
My readings tend towards love and light.
I swear, sometimes my entire
deck is the suit of cups.
- Hmm.
- No, I'm good, thanks.
You think it's all a bit of hocus-pocus?
- Uh-huh, I believe.
- Which is why I don't think
I'm in the headspace for a read,
here in the murder motel.
Well, I'm in.
The mystical oracle is here.
Cut the deck.
And again.
Mm-hmm.
[whispering]: What can we tell Adriana?
Yeah, I could really use some guidance.
Um, my life's been a bit
of a cluster-fuck.
Anything about my love life,
or my future.
I mean, at this point,
I'll even take news
about getting through this weekend.
Hmm.
Four of rods.
Balance, reunions.
Someone or something from
your past coming back for you?
Hmm. I'm not sure.
Three of swords.
Lying, heartbreak.
Ten of swords.
Backstabbing.
Betrayal.
[tense music swells]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, chill, chill, chill!
- Andy, he's not
- Mind your business.
Mother
- Screw you!
- Hey, hey, take it easy!
[all shouting]
Hey, hey, hey!
[panting]
What the hell is that?
Floyd? What the hell is that?
Seven of swords.
Broken trust.
Jesus, Shirley.
This is your version of love and light?
That many swords in a row is
something.
What do you say we just
reshuffle and start again?
I mean, you're the expert.
But wouldn't it be technically
cheating to start again?
Well, yeah. Technically.
Yeah. Okay, so let's
keep going. I can handle it.
[ominous music]
The Tower.
Judgement.
Death.
The Hanged Man?
Is that bad?
[ominous music swells]
Now would be a good time
to explain yourself, Floyd.
- [heavy breathing]
- It's when we were
when we were down the hall
getting Ruby, remember?
- You know
- Hey, hey.
I I remember it well.
Okay, so somebody
I don't know who, they must,
they must've gotten me in the back.
There's no way to sugarcoat it.
- It is a dramatic message.
- Put them away.
They're just cards.
- You are so full of it, Paige.
- You wouldn't even do a reading.
And you were right.
What do we do now?
The Universe warns you
to change your ways.
Take the correction.
You must expel the darkness
within you. Or
- [tapping finger]
- Or that.
Okay, maybe this can be,
like, a positive.
Like-like a change you needed, you know?
Uh, have you tried talking to someone
I am talking to you right fucking now
and it is not going great!
Right, I mean, a therapist.
- Someone like that, okay?
- Yeah.
Being fed candy-coated bullshit
does not fix darkness in the world.
- The real fucking darkness.
- She's right about that.
- Shirley.
- All I know is the darkness
inside Adriana must go or else.
Adriana, you have your own power.
You can make change, okay?
I fucking can't!
I've tried!
You have no idea
what it's like living in here!
You have no fucking idea!
What's going on?
How much longer?
[door buzzing]
[door opening]
This can't be my visitor.
You don't know me. I'm Adriana.
Can't be my visitor.
I didn't have enough
in my commissary account
to order up a stone-cold goddess.
No, no. I-I-I saw you on the TV
and I read everything about you
and I-I applied to be
your visitor, so
Here I am. I don't know
Okay, just, take-take it easy.
Beautiful, okay?
No need to get flustered.
If I laid it on a little thick,
I apologize.
I only have a minute
to convince you to stay.
Well you don't need to convince me.
I wanna talk to you.
I'm curious.
About what?
- About you.
- [chuckling]
[inhaling and exhaling deeply]
That's an interesting topic.
You're telling me.
[sighing]
But the wolf is interested
in the chipmunk.
Not the other way around.
See, the wolf is
fascinated by the chipmunk's coloration,
habitat, and behavior.
Sexy little chipmunk ass.
Because the wolf is hungry.
But why
Why
would the chipmunk be
interested in the wolf?
When it should just be running
the other way as fast as it can.
I wouldn't know.
- [sighing]
- You wouldn't?
No.
Because I'm a man-eating polar bear.
The wolf and I might even get along.
But if we don't? I'll just
strip his flesh from his bones
and eat him.
[laughing]
Well, you're crazy hot for a polar bear.
[chuckling]
[heavy breathing]
- Bullshit. Who?
- It was Crow!
I-I think-think it was Crow
- Don't blame a dead guy.
- I would've seen it.
- You would've said
- Okay. Can we just
- talk about this?
- Oh, now you wanna talk
about it, now he wants to talk about it.
[shouting, grunting]
[glass shattering]
[wind howling]
You said this was gonna be good.
I wanted something good.
That wasn't good.
Do you want a snack? Maybe we
went a little hard on the wine.
Seriously? That's what
you're gonna suggest right now?
I wanna help you, okay?
I need another drink.
Okay, do you think
that I chose to be this way?
I didn't fucking choose this.
My life sucks!
- [Adriana sniffling]
- Maybe-maybe you should
splash some water on your face.
Yeah, maybe.
But maybe I don't-I don't
feel quite right. I'm
[fridge door opening]
[tense music]
What do you think you're doing?
[shouting]
[thudding, grunting]
Ah! Damn it!
Let's break it up!
[bones crunching]
[screaming]
[screaming]
[heavy breathing]
You people are all nuts!
- [shouting]
- Hey, nobody goes anywhere!
Stop!
Sit down. I'm warning you.
- Let's just talk.
- We were doing that.
This is what happens
when I trust people.
You can. You can trust us.
- We just wanna help.
- What part of helping
- needs a gun, Paige?
- Ask yourself that.
[shouting, groaning]
- Hey, nobody goes anywhere!
- Stop!
[heavy breathing]
- I thought you cared about me.
- [crying]
- No one ever cares!
- Stop!
Not really. I told you things!
[distant muffled shouts]
I told you secrets!
I told you about my feelings!
[crying]
And this whole time,
you were scheming to get me!
I thought you were my friend!
You think you're better than me?
- Shirley!
- Ahh!
[gunshot]
[screaming]
Oh no.
[gurgling]
[coughing]
[heavy breathing]
[Paige gasping]
[thud]
[Paige gasping]
[rain pouring]
I didn't, I didn't mean
for this to happen!
[crying]
I liked him. Please!
Please!
Please!
[sobbing]
Ah! Let me out!
Let. Me. Out!
Please!
[muffled]: Let. Me. Out!
[Adriana crying]
So what are we gonna do?
- No, no one else is dying.
- She shot at me, Paige.
We thought Ruby wanted to kill us too,
but the deaths kept coming.
Because of Adriana. You saw her.
She stood there
with this gun and threatened us.
Nobody messes with Shirley
like that. Nobody.
All we wanted to do was leave this room
- and she was gonna shoot us.
- I know.
- Sane people don't do that.
- I know, Shirley. I know.
We're not gonna do anything crazy.
This is not on us to decide.
That's what police are in the world for.
That's what I was feeling too. Thanks.
- I agree.
- Alright.
So that's three of us
who don't want to do
anything so drastic.
[suspenseful music]
So what do you suggest we do, genius?
- Well, you had another idea.
- When we were talking about JP.
You don't have to do this! Oh, my god!
Stop! Fuck!
It was an accident!
Save it for the jury.
It's a group decision. I'm sorry.
You don't have to do this!
- You did it to yourself.
- Shirley!
Shirley! What are you turning into?
Please! No! No!
Fuck! [groaning]
No! Blake, Blake, no, no! Fuck!
Fuck, no! Fuck! Fuck! Ah!
I brought some of my
warmer clothes for you.
Paige, please, please. You
know I didn't mean to shoot him.
Come on, please! You can't
leave me in here, unprotected!
When someone comes here to save us,
you can tell the cops
what happened, okay?
Blake? Blake, come on, please.
You know I didn't mean to do this.
I was-I was fricking panicking!
I-I freaked out! Come on!
I'm sorry! Okay, you guys?
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!
We can't trust you anymore.
Not enough to have you in there with us.
You're not a safe person, Adriana.
Please. No, Paige.
Please! I was just scared.
Please. Haven't you ever been scared?
Sorry.
[dramatic music]
[Adriana whimpering]
You can't do this to me!
I'm a sitting duck!
[rain pouring]
[Adriana singing]
Lizzie Borden took an axe ♪
Gave her father 40 whacks ♪
When she saw what she had done ♪
She gave her mother 41 ♪
[whimpering, panting]
Lizzie Borden took an axe ♪
Gave her mother 40 whacks ♪
When she saw what she had done ♪
She gave brother 41 ♪
41 41
[laughing] What a bunch of bullshit.
[tense music]
[objects clanging]
[rain pattering on roof]
[heavy breathing]
[ominous music swells]
[clanging]
[objects clattering]
[objects thudding]
[glass shattering]
[rain pouring]
[sinister music]
[thudding, grunting]
[whimpering]
No, no, no!
[screaming]
[thud]
[door buzzing]
Hello, husband.
What did I do to deserve this?
Can you believe it?
Can you believe we're finally here?
Can't say I do.
- I've wanted this for so
- [chuckling]
[heavy breathing]
Oh, my god.
[moaning]
[grunting]
Oh, fuck.
Oh, my god.
[groaning]
Oh, fuck. Wyatt, this is what I want.
Oh, fuck!
Oh! I love you.
I love you like no one ever could.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Screw Noelle Samuels,
I would never do what she did.
- [heavy breathing]
- What?
Why are you
Why are you talking about her?
Because I would never do
what she did to you.
I would never cheat on you.
I understand
I didn't kill her.
[sinister music]
[muffled shouting]
- [heavy breathing]
- Honey
I'm not like everyone else.
I understand. I do.
I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster!
No, I know.
Then why are you here?
You think I'm just some deviant
who just kills women?
No-no, I don't think that, Wyatt.
- [groaning]
- You still think I did it.
You still think I did it.
[sighing] You're not making any sense.
You're not making any sense.
I know you did.
And I don't care.
Wyatt.
Honey.
[suspenseful music]
You're messed up.
But you
[gasping]
[dramatic music]
Is that what you want? Huh?
[Adriana whimpering]
You're really crazy.
[whimpering]
I'll do this for you.
Oh yeah.
Hurts, right? [gasping]
[gasping]
I love you too, babe.
[Wyatt shouting]
[gasping]
[coughing]
[rain pouring]
[ominous music]
[whimpering]
[groaning]
[eerie music]
[whimpering]
No! No!
No! Please! No, no, please.
Please, please don't hurt me.
[whimpering]
I've never hurt anyone. Please.
Please! [heavy breathing]
Please. Please I just
All I ever wanted was love.
Please, I swear to God!
I swear to God, please!
No!
No!
[whimpering]
[blade swishing]
[coughing]
[raspy breathing]
[muffled screaming]
[pitter-patter of rain]
[breathing deeply]
[knocking at door]
[knocking at door]
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm worried about her.
Yeah. Me too.
She's messed up, you know,
but that-that doesn't mean she'd kill.
Wanna go see if she's okay?
Yes. Thanks.
Flashlight.
[knocking at door]
[door opens]
[suspenseful music]
- She's not there.
- What?
[mud squelching]
[ominous music]
[screaming]
[synth music]
♪
[rain pouring]
[wind howling]
[footsteps pattering]
[heavy breathing]
[heavy breathing]
[suspenseful music]
Jesus.
[muttering]: Who would do
something like this?
A psycho, that's who.
A talented one.
Adriana
What? Kawayan was all about art
- He didn't want to die for it!
- I know, okay?
But if he had to pick a way to go
- [gagging]
- Hey, you okay?
[muttering]: Yeah. Blood on set
can get pretty realistic,
but it doesn't smell like
Sorry. I have to, the smell.
I have to I'm sorry.
Wait up, honey.
I actually don't mind it.
[scoffing]
Like people don't mind
the smell of bleach
or markers or gasoline.
You're one sick puppy.
[rain pouring outside]
- And you were doing so well.
- I know.
I think it's a coping mechanism.
Maybe it's time to find a different one.
Mm-hmm.
Because I just agreed with Floyd.
For the first time ever.
Congratulations on making that happen.
[door opening]
[sinister music]
[theme music]
[wind howling]
We know who the killer is.
Sure we do.
Just like every other time, right?
Did you wanna fill
the rest of "we" in?
Because I'm clueless over here.
Well, we don't know specifically,
but we know it has to be one of us.
Come on. You're making it sound like
we're one of those old
country house murder mysteries.
No, I'm no Sherlock Holmes.
Okay? All we know is that
there's no one else around.
Okay? So, this has to be an inside job.
I'm thinking it just might be you.
Okay.
Well, let's let's put it
all out in the open.
What makes you say that?
You're sitting there on your high horse,
tossing accusations around
like you're
- making it rain on the peasants.
- He has got a point.
And you were the one to find the body.
Classic killer move.
Cover up the tracks by
pretending you stumbled
on your own crime scene.
[scoffing]
I'm thinking I might be
married to Sherlock.
I haven't accused anyone yet
and I included myself.
I'm just stating our givens here.
Sure Sure you are.
You know, you're the only ones
that sound
like they're throwing
accusations around now.
And we all found Crow. Together.
So?
So, does that make all of us the killer?
You mean like with Ruby?
Where we all did it?
Or-or let it happen
to an innocent woman?
You know, Paige?
You were the one to lead us
to Crow's body.
What?
I heard him. Through my vent.
Nobody else did. Just saying.
Then I'm gonna say that
these crimes require strength.
And you're one of the physically
strongest ones left here.
I don't think it's Blake.
You got a reason, or are
we just going off vibes?
You know, Floyd, I don't really give
a shit what you think.
My money's still on you anyway.
Wanna back that up with anything?
Okay. This is precisely
how the four of you
ended up attacking Ruby.
And you started it, Scream Queen.
[whispering]: Out there.
Guys.
[tense music]
Wait, wait, wait, is it safe?
I think it's six against one.
[rain pouring]
- There
- [shushing]
[suspenseful music]
Try me, asshole.
[grunting] Got him!
- No!
- Kill him!
No! You know me!
- The fucking limo driver?
- Are you kidding me?
- What are you doing here?
- Explain. Fast!
Don't hurt me! Please!
Jesus Christ, what happened
to you people?
[ominous music]
Christ on a bike.
- Yeah.[gagging]
- So you can see why didn't
exactly roll out the welcome mat.
[gasping]
I gotta get out of here!
This is so crazy,
I gotta get out of here!
[groaning, shouting]
You're not going anywhere!
Blake, Blake, take it easy.
They are dead!
[whimpering]
Cold. They are people!
And there's guts all
Argh! Everywhere!
And flowers in that guy's stomach!
What the hell is happening
in this cursed place?!
Take it easy on him, would you?
You're safe, Blake. Take a breath.
[driver choking]
- He's a murderer.
- I don't think he is.
[panting]
[driver whimpering]
[ominous music]
Tell me how-how I can prove it to you.
I'm a Christian! I'll swear
on a stack of Bibles
- if you want me to
- Hey, hey.
Your belief in some imaginary sky papa
doesn't get you any special
privileges from me.
I believe him. Look at his face.
Some of those cuts have glass in them.
I hit that hairpin turn
out near 86 and it was all over.
- You skidded out?
- Into the tree.
- Didn't see nobody for hours.
- I'd have stayed in the car.
Yeah. Great plan 'til the gas
and the battery cacked out.
I figured I might as well walk.
You could've been attacked
by wild animals-.
I'd rather die in my boots. And I
[sniffles]
I got Matilda here
- [all shouting]
- Whoa, whoa!
No, no, no. It's not what
it looks like. It's
I've been carrying for years.
Sometimes you need a little protection
against some drunken asshole
passenger or car-jacker.
You know, when you're
gigging down in the city.
- [heavy breathing]
- I need some air.
Would-would you put
the gun away, please?
I need to clean the cuts
on your face anyway.
Alright. Alright, I get it.
- Look, I'm gonna go
- check on Blake. You good?
Yeah.
Okay, let's see here
[indistinct whispering]
I'm gonna need some tweezers,
They look bad.
[suspenseful music]
[wind howling]
- Hey.
- [exhaling deeply]
- Are you thinking
- Yeah, I was.
It's gotta be him. Right?
- I
- Right?
I don't like it.
Yeah, look, all of us
have been accounted for
at various points.
There-there's no way any of us
could have done every killing
Who gets out of the safety
and warmth of a car
in the middle of the night
to go in the woods
- and hang out with bears?
- An idiot or a murderer.
Yeah. So-So, we get the gun
off of him, yeah?
Lock him up somewhere?
There's a utility shed out back.
- How do you know that?
- 'Cause I was parked
in the RV. I-I was looking around for
- So it's out back
- Okay, okay.
How do we get JP back outside
That-that ain't happening!
What are you guys talking about?
Just keeping the group safe.
If you're making decisions
for the group,
- did you wanna include all of us?
- Unless ladies aren't
considered members of the group?
You know, you seemed
pretty friendly with him,
so we thought that
we'd just talk without you.
- The thing is, I know killers.
- I know them in my soul.
I can sense them.
It's like this radar I have.
- Well, here we go
- The fact that you like him
- is suspect.
- Well, I used to like you.
Does that make you a killer? [laughing]
Do you have something
you'd like to say, Floyd?
Just wondering if anybody's
ever asked you
- to help with justice reform.
- No.
Well, here's my idea,
we wire up your pussy
like it's an electric chair.
Let every psycho killer screw their way
right out of this world. Everybody wins!
Floyd, you crossed the line.
Really? Because I thought
that was her whole personality.
Making herself interesting by offering
the worst of the worst free admission
to her toxic little meat purse.
You owe Adriana an apology right now
- [JP coughing]
- Sit down, you snobby bitch!
Do not call her a bitch.
Can we just all, please, calm
Do not fucking tell us to calm down!
- Whoa, whoa!
- I bet you were calling
all of us bitches
when you were making decisions
- without us in the room.
- That did not happen,
- I promise you.
- I'm feeling like you guys
need to pay a little visit to the sauna.
You're making a joke out of that?
I think you boys
can't handle it when a woman
- speaks their own mind!
- You know, maybe he just
doesn't think that murder is funny!
But you're fine
with Floyd spewing all kinds
of toxic bullshit. I didn't hear you
trying to censor it, did you?!
I didn't fucking hear you!
[overlapping arguments]
- [gunshot blaring]
- Whoa!
[birds scattering]
Here's what's gonna happen.
Paige and I are gonna take this gun
and we're gonna go to my room.
Shirley, you can come if you want.
Anyone who has a dick,
or who identifies as a dick cannot come!
- I'm not a killer.
- What, just because I'm a guy?
85 % of the killers
in the world are men, Blake.
Fact.
So, how do we improve
our odds of survival?
Yeah, that's right.
We leave this big bag
of homicidal dicks out here.
That's a good point.
Yeah, go get as much food as you can.
- Yeah, I-I saw some thermoses.
- I'll get us some hot drinks.
Thank you, Shirley,
you made the right choice.
This is a bad idea.
A bad idea is sitting around
in a room of pathetic,
male egos, waiting for them
to blow up on each other,
and hoping you don't
get hit by the shrapnel.
Can I come?
I wanna come!
You got any fallopian tubes
under that cheap suit there, JP?
What's a fallopian?
There's your answer.
Bye, boys.
[tense music]
[rain pouring]
Okay, let's move this
over by the wall there.
Okay. We're secure now.
[sighing]
Hope Floyd's okay without you.
Floyd can learn to watch
his mouth or go to hell.
- Whichever comes first.
- That's surprising.
Why?
You and Floyd seem pretty tight.
I've been a woman longer
than I've been a wife, so
That doesn't necessarily mean anything.
I know plenty of women
who'd put men first, every time.
Even one's that are not married to him.
Floyd's mostly just a grumpy
bear with a trucker's mouth.
But even the grumpiest of bears
needs their honey taken away
every now and then,
just to keep them in line.
So [sighing]
Okay. [fridge opening and closing]
[laughing] Okay.
We got Manson Muscat
Boston Strangler Sauvignon or
Panzram Prosecco.
What's a Panzram?
1920s, American, no victim profile
Girls, boys, women, men. [sighing]
Good old Carl Panzram
would sodomize and murder them all.
His last words
to the executioner were:
"Hurry it up.
I could kill 10 men
while you're screwing around here."
That's pretty cool, right?
The Strangler Sauvignon
sounds great, thanks.
[chuckling]
Ruby was going real hard
on the branding, huh?
You know, my thing is
we all had that girl friend
in high school who got cornered
at a house party.
Yeah, or we were that girl
in high school
who got cornered at a house party.
And that's when we learn,
or the smart ones do.
[can cracks open]
You can only trust a man so far.
- Mm-hmm, cheers to that.
- To being bitches.
On our own terms.
[laughing]
[pitter-patter of rain]
So, what? We're just sitting here?
'Til the satellites go back up
and we can reach someone,
or we can get out of here safely.
[sighing]
You know, the weather's getting better.
- It's gotta be soon.
- The roads are a disaster zone.
One of the bridges is out.
Do you have another suggestion?
I'll keep my mouth shut.
Are you, though?
Still sounds like a lot
of bullshit to me.
Crazy pants said that
80 % of killers are men.
- You know why?
- Testosterone.
And who has more of that?
Old-timers?
Or young dumb and full of cum?
Mmm.
- [sighing]
- You should have another.
There's no one left to charge us for it.
Do you want me passed out in your room?
You could have the whole
bed to yourself.
- [laughing]
- That never happens.
And no snoring!
Sleeping like an old-timey
Egyptian queen.
[chuckling]- So how long have
you and Floyd been together?
Mm? 20 years?
Incredible.
The most I've ever gone
is, like, two years.
Mmm. Well, you got me beat by, uh
23 months. [laughing]
Can you explain to me how I'm the killer
if Kawayan and I faced Baphomet today?
I think explaining
is your job, Professor.
I don't have to do anything for you.
[pitter-patter of rain]
So, are we just having
staring contests now?
That's great. That's awesome.
It's like we're back in school.
Huh? Hey, hey, loser gets panted!
[laughing]
Okay, staring contest.
You guys are so weird!
God, it's the end of the world.
Scott was so good.
He'd create these scavenger hunts for me
when I got home from work.
With presents to find at the end.
Why'd you let him go?
He dumped me. Yeah.
He got a regular gig
on a big network series and
my C-Lister lifestyle
I wasn't exactly what
he had been manifesting.
Some people would kill
for that lifestyle.
You will find someone
who accepts everything
you're bringing to the table.
- I don't know. We can't all
- find a Floyd.
We complete each other.
In many ways.
God, I know I butt heads
with him big time, but
man, if that works for you, I want that.
- You do?
- Yeah. Why wouldn't I?
I think maybe I just don't get
what you're after out there,
romantically, maybe?
I don't think it's that confusing.
- I like bad boys.
- Okay yeah, no.
Lots of us do,
it's just your actual obsession
with killers, I
I just don't get how it translates
to you finding somebody real.
The killers are real.
Dennis Nilsen loved his dog.
Ed Gein loved his mother.
I mean, why couldn't I find
someone who loves me?
Because they hate and destroy women.
The heart wants what it wants.
Okay, I've been judged enough
for today, alright?
- Adriana, it's not judgement.
- I-I just really don't get it.
- Okay, it's, um
- [clearing throat]
It's like
I-I only get hot
for people who have done
really extreme things.
Extreme? Adriana, there's extreme,
and then there's fully psychotic.
No, I, it's like, uh
I like people who are different.
Like unpredictable, maybe.
Like being loved
by the most dangerous person
in the room feels important.
Does that make sense?
Honestly, no.
- [sighing]
- Do you get it, Shirley?
[scoffing]
If you want answers to the really
deep stuff,
you have to turn to an authority.
Who wants a tarot reading?
[suspenseful music]
You stare one minute longer
and I'll start charging admission.
I know it's you.
Whatever you say.
Now watch my guilty ass
head off to make a BLT.
If you want me to make you one,
you gotta play nicer.
You're not going anywhere alone.
Where's your badge, Sheriff?
No one anywhere
without a witness for everyone's safety.
You gonna wipe my ass too?
[ominous music]
My readings tend towards love and light.
I swear, sometimes my entire
deck is the suit of cups.
- Hmm.
- No, I'm good, thanks.
You think it's all a bit of hocus-pocus?
- Uh-huh, I believe.
- Which is why I don't think
I'm in the headspace for a read,
here in the murder motel.
Well, I'm in.
The mystical oracle is here.
Cut the deck.
And again.
Mm-hmm.
[whispering]: What can we tell Adriana?
Yeah, I could really use some guidance.
Um, my life's been a bit
of a cluster-fuck.
Anything about my love life,
or my future.
I mean, at this point,
I'll even take news
about getting through this weekend.
Hmm.
Four of rods.
Balance, reunions.
Someone or something from
your past coming back for you?
Hmm. I'm not sure.
Three of swords.
Lying, heartbreak.
Ten of swords.
Backstabbing.
Betrayal.
[tense music swells]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, chill, chill, chill!
- Andy, he's not
- Mind your business.
Mother
- Screw you!
- Hey, hey, take it easy!
[all shouting]
Hey, hey, hey!
[panting]
What the hell is that?
Floyd? What the hell is that?
Seven of swords.
Broken trust.
Jesus, Shirley.
This is your version of love and light?
That many swords in a row is
something.
What do you say we just
reshuffle and start again?
I mean, you're the expert.
But wouldn't it be technically
cheating to start again?
Well, yeah. Technically.
Yeah. Okay, so let's
keep going. I can handle it.
[ominous music]
The Tower.
Judgement.
Death.
The Hanged Man?
Is that bad?
[ominous music swells]
Now would be a good time
to explain yourself, Floyd.
- [heavy breathing]
- It's when we were
when we were down the hall
getting Ruby, remember?
- You know
- Hey, hey.
I I remember it well.
Okay, so somebody
I don't know who, they must,
they must've gotten me in the back.
There's no way to sugarcoat it.
- It is a dramatic message.
- Put them away.
They're just cards.
- You are so full of it, Paige.
- You wouldn't even do a reading.
And you were right.
What do we do now?
The Universe warns you
to change your ways.
Take the correction.
You must expel the darkness
within you. Or
- [tapping finger]
- Or that.
Okay, maybe this can be,
like, a positive.
Like-like a change you needed, you know?
Uh, have you tried talking to someone
I am talking to you right fucking now
and it is not going great!
Right, I mean, a therapist.
- Someone like that, okay?
- Yeah.
Being fed candy-coated bullshit
does not fix darkness in the world.
- The real fucking darkness.
- She's right about that.
- Shirley.
- All I know is the darkness
inside Adriana must go or else.
Adriana, you have your own power.
You can make change, okay?
I fucking can't!
I've tried!
You have no idea
what it's like living in here!
You have no fucking idea!
What's going on?
How much longer?
[door buzzing]
[door opening]
This can't be my visitor.
You don't know me. I'm Adriana.
Can't be my visitor.
I didn't have enough
in my commissary account
to order up a stone-cold goddess.
No, no. I-I-I saw you on the TV
and I read everything about you
and I-I applied to be
your visitor, so
Here I am. I don't know
Okay, just, take-take it easy.
Beautiful, okay?
No need to get flustered.
If I laid it on a little thick,
I apologize.
I only have a minute
to convince you to stay.
Well you don't need to convince me.
I wanna talk to you.
I'm curious.
About what?
- About you.
- [chuckling]
[inhaling and exhaling deeply]
That's an interesting topic.
You're telling me.
[sighing]
But the wolf is interested
in the chipmunk.
Not the other way around.
See, the wolf is
fascinated by the chipmunk's coloration,
habitat, and behavior.
Sexy little chipmunk ass.
Because the wolf is hungry.
But why
Why
would the chipmunk be
interested in the wolf?
When it should just be running
the other way as fast as it can.
I wouldn't know.
- [sighing]
- You wouldn't?
No.
Because I'm a man-eating polar bear.
The wolf and I might even get along.
But if we don't? I'll just
strip his flesh from his bones
and eat him.
[laughing]
Well, you're crazy hot for a polar bear.
[chuckling]
[heavy breathing]
- Bullshit. Who?
- It was Crow!
I-I think-think it was Crow
- Don't blame a dead guy.
- I would've seen it.
- You would've said
- Okay. Can we just
- talk about this?
- Oh, now you wanna talk
about it, now he wants to talk about it.
[shouting, grunting]
[glass shattering]
[wind howling]
You said this was gonna be good.
I wanted something good.
That wasn't good.
Do you want a snack? Maybe we
went a little hard on the wine.
Seriously? That's what
you're gonna suggest right now?
I wanna help you, okay?
I need another drink.
Okay, do you think
that I chose to be this way?
I didn't fucking choose this.
My life sucks!
- [Adriana sniffling]
- Maybe-maybe you should
splash some water on your face.
Yeah, maybe.
But maybe I don't-I don't
feel quite right. I'm
[fridge door opening]
[tense music]
What do you think you're doing?
[shouting]
[thudding, grunting]
Ah! Damn it!
Let's break it up!
[bones crunching]
[screaming]
[screaming]
[heavy breathing]
You people are all nuts!
- [shouting]
- Hey, nobody goes anywhere!
Stop!
Sit down. I'm warning you.
- Let's just talk.
- We were doing that.
This is what happens
when I trust people.
You can. You can trust us.
- We just wanna help.
- What part of helping
- needs a gun, Paige?
- Ask yourself that.
[shouting, groaning]
- Hey, nobody goes anywhere!
- Stop!
[heavy breathing]
- I thought you cared about me.
- [crying]
- No one ever cares!
- Stop!
Not really. I told you things!
[distant muffled shouts]
I told you secrets!
I told you about my feelings!
[crying]
And this whole time,
you were scheming to get me!
I thought you were my friend!
You think you're better than me?
- Shirley!
- Ahh!
[gunshot]
[screaming]
Oh no.
[gurgling]
[coughing]
[heavy breathing]
[Paige gasping]
[thud]
[Paige gasping]
[rain pouring]
I didn't, I didn't mean
for this to happen!
[crying]
I liked him. Please!
Please!
Please!
[sobbing]
Ah! Let me out!
Let. Me. Out!
Please!
[muffled]: Let. Me. Out!
[Adriana crying]
So what are we gonna do?
- No, no one else is dying.
- She shot at me, Paige.
We thought Ruby wanted to kill us too,
but the deaths kept coming.
Because of Adriana. You saw her.
She stood there
with this gun and threatened us.
Nobody messes with Shirley
like that. Nobody.
All we wanted to do was leave this room
- and she was gonna shoot us.
- I know.
- Sane people don't do that.
- I know, Shirley. I know.
We're not gonna do anything crazy.
This is not on us to decide.
That's what police are in the world for.
That's what I was feeling too. Thanks.
- I agree.
- Alright.
So that's three of us
who don't want to do
anything so drastic.
[suspenseful music]
So what do you suggest we do, genius?
- Well, you had another idea.
- When we were talking about JP.
You don't have to do this! Oh, my god!
Stop! Fuck!
It was an accident!
Save it for the jury.
It's a group decision. I'm sorry.
You don't have to do this!
- You did it to yourself.
- Shirley!
Shirley! What are you turning into?
Please! No! No!
Fuck! [groaning]
No! Blake, Blake, no, no! Fuck!
Fuck, no! Fuck! Fuck! Ah!
I brought some of my
warmer clothes for you.
Paige, please, please. You
know I didn't mean to shoot him.
Come on, please! You can't
leave me in here, unprotected!
When someone comes here to save us,
you can tell the cops
what happened, okay?
Blake? Blake, come on, please.
You know I didn't mean to do this.
I was-I was fricking panicking!
I-I freaked out! Come on!
I'm sorry! Okay, you guys?
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!
We can't trust you anymore.
Not enough to have you in there with us.
You're not a safe person, Adriana.
Please. No, Paige.
Please! I was just scared.
Please. Haven't you ever been scared?
Sorry.
[dramatic music]
[Adriana whimpering]
You can't do this to me!
I'm a sitting duck!
[rain pouring]
[Adriana singing]
Lizzie Borden took an axe ♪
Gave her father 40 whacks ♪
When she saw what she had done ♪
She gave her mother 41 ♪
[whimpering, panting]
Lizzie Borden took an axe ♪
Gave her mother 40 whacks ♪
When she saw what she had done ♪
She gave brother 41 ♪
41 41
[laughing] What a bunch of bullshit.
[tense music]
[objects clanging]
[rain pattering on roof]
[heavy breathing]
[ominous music swells]
[clanging]
[objects clattering]
[objects thudding]
[glass shattering]
[rain pouring]
[sinister music]
[thudding, grunting]
[whimpering]
No, no, no!
[screaming]
[thud]
[door buzzing]
Hello, husband.
What did I do to deserve this?
Can you believe it?
Can you believe we're finally here?
Can't say I do.
- I've wanted this for so
- [chuckling]
[heavy breathing]
Oh, my god.
[moaning]
[grunting]
Oh, fuck.
Oh, my god.
[groaning]
Oh, fuck. Wyatt, this is what I want.
Oh, fuck!
Oh! I love you.
I love you like no one ever could.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Screw Noelle Samuels,
I would never do what she did.
- [heavy breathing]
- What?
Why are you
Why are you talking about her?
Because I would never do
what she did to you.
I would never cheat on you.
I understand
I didn't kill her.
[sinister music]
[muffled shouting]
- [heavy breathing]
- Honey
I'm not like everyone else.
I understand. I do.
I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster!
No, I know.
Then why are you here?
You think I'm just some deviant
who just kills women?
No-no, I don't think that, Wyatt.
- [groaning]
- You still think I did it.
You still think I did it.
[sighing] You're not making any sense.
You're not making any sense.
I know you did.
And I don't care.
Wyatt.
Honey.
[suspenseful music]
You're messed up.
But you
[gasping]
[dramatic music]
Is that what you want? Huh?
[Adriana whimpering]
You're really crazy.
[whimpering]
I'll do this for you.
Oh yeah.
Hurts, right? [gasping]
[gasping]
I love you too, babe.
[Wyatt shouting]
[gasping]
[coughing]
[rain pouring]
[ominous music]
[whimpering]
[groaning]
[eerie music]
[whimpering]
No! No!
No! Please! No, no, please.
Please, please don't hurt me.
[whimpering]
I've never hurt anyone. Please.
Please! [heavy breathing]
Please. Please I just
All I ever wanted was love.
Please, I swear to God!
I swear to God, please!
No!
No!
[whimpering]
[blade swishing]
[coughing]
[raspy breathing]
[muffled screaming]
[pitter-patter of rain]
[breathing deeply]
[knocking at door]
[knocking at door]
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm worried about her.
Yeah. Me too.
She's messed up, you know,
but that-that doesn't mean she'd kill.
Wanna go see if she's okay?
Yes. Thanks.
Flashlight.
[knocking at door]
[door opens]
[suspenseful music]
- She's not there.
- What?
[mud squelching]
[ominous music]
[screaming]
[synth music]
♪