Hollywood Arts (2026) s01e05 Episode Script

1
So I break down the walls that I made ♪
Won't hold back, I'm here to stay ♪
[pop music playing over car speakers]
Just another thing you've taken from me.
It's a waffle.
It was the last waffle and I always get
the last waffle 'cause I'm a growing boy.
Driver, I deserve the waffle, right?
There is no driver.
It's a self-driving Pear car.
- It can't talk.
- [automated voice] Yes, I can.
Sorry.
- Here, have it.
- I don't want you to give me the waffle.
I'm starting to feel like this is about
something bigger than waffles.
[wrapper crinkles]
- [thud]
- Ow.
Sorry.
Oh, come on!
[automated voice] Arrived. Hollywood Arts.
[vehicle beeps softly]
- [sighs]
- Oh, look,
I get it.
It must be… hard for you
now that I'm a performer too.
Think I'm threatened by my sister's
3.5 minutes of fame at the showcase,
followed by a solo gig at Karaoke Dokie,
then a subsequent commercial?
I hardly think about those things!
[upbeat musical transition]
I owe you, magic locker. [sighs]
I'll never forget what you did for me.
Did you put something
in Tori Vega's old locker?
Yeah, a thank you note.
It's not every day a world-famous
pop star's locker grants you a wish.
Say more words.
So, yesterday after school,
I popped to the boba place
that Oscar's been working at.
Since when do you work at Boba Baby?
Well, Qwest, I realized recently I skipped
a valuable step on my path to stardom.
What does every actor do
before they make it?
Launch a podcast no one asked for?
Get a job in the service industry.
This is my happy place.
Watch.
Diana ♪
It's actually Dana, but…
now I kinda wanna change it.
Okay, dude, you out here changing names.
And he's gonna be singing
a lot more than names
on that stage right over there
this Friday night. [laughs]
You can sing more than names, right?
Uh, yeah.
Okay! Phew.
[girl clears throat]
Oh, sorry, I…
suddenly forget how words work.
[chuckles] I'm Mercedes. Like the car.
Qwest, like the mission to find something.
And I think I might've just found it.
[giggles]
Wait, so you think you met a girl
because you wished on this locker?
I know I met a girl
because I made a wish on this locker.
And I'm not the only one
who believes in its powers.
Oh, come on. Who else would--
Because you were wrong,
you're picking all this up.
[vocalizing]
Wait, you guys believe
all this magic locker stuff too?
I believe all kinds of stupid stuff.
You wouldn't believe
the kind of stupid stuff I believe.
Jen, there's no way you buy this.
Typically, I love the opportunity
to roll my eyes at the gullible, but…
the Singdicate nominations are coming out
so I'll believe anything
that'll help my chances.
The Singdicate?
- [ethereal music plays]
- Everyone shut up!
Here they come!
- Do you know what the Singdicate is?
- I do.
Hollywood Arts content creator
in residence Lexi Rivera here.
The Singdicate is a secret
all-girls society at Hollywood Arts.
Every member has gone on
to become super rich and famous.
Hey, thanks.
- Technology these days.
- I know.
You're so totally welcome.
[ethereal music playing]
- Ugh.
- Are you kidding?
- Oh! [gasps]
- Whatever.
Do you know what this means?
I don't know what anything means.
We just got tapped to audition
for the Singdicate
and it's all because
of Tori's magic locker!
- Oh my God!
- [laughs]
Or it's because you both
are insanely talented performers.
It's the locker.
- Locker.
- Pepper's not that good.
I don't know who Sinjin is,
but he wanted a date with Trina bad enough
that he put like ten of them in here.
I can see Grandpappy.
He's waving to me.
With his hook hand.
I shoulda never let us cross Snake River.
- [inhales]
- [shaky breath]
How could you have known
there would be snakes?
[deep exhale]
Bring it home, girls.
[heavy breathing]
This truly was…
the Oregon Trail.
[croaking, exclaiming]
Ow! My spleen!
- Ahh!
- Pepper! What are you doing?
[loud gasp]
Emmy, you broke character.
Uh, she was being totally nutty!
She was dying of snake-itis!
Uh, okay, so I broke character.
Is that such a big deal?
- Breaking character is a cardinal sin.
- [sniffles]
It's worse than wearing sandals
with socks.
Which you're also doing.
[gasps] I smell a teaching moment. Seats!
In the interest of staying in character,
we're gonna have a contest
where we stay in character.
- I hate contests.
- Winner gets Tori's magic locker.
- [both gasp]
- I love contests!
[all cheer]
Trina, you know about Tori's magic locker?
- Who doesn't?
- [together] Emmy.
Ugh, shocker.
[chuckles] And it's not actually magic,
but the fact you're all naive to believe
it is makes it the perfect prize.
So, last person to break character
wins the locker.
- Do we get to pick our own characters?
- Oh, I love that idea!
But I love my ideas more.
Let's see.
You're gonna be a wrestler.
- A nun.
- [scoffs]
- A dog.
- [giggles]
A roast comedian.
Uh, so I just make mean jokes
at other people's expense?
Oh! Can I trade with carrot hair?
No.
And for Oscar…
- Cowboy.
- Cowboy.
How dare you have the same fantasy as me.
[growls]
Fine. Cowboy. Yeehaw.
Now, everyone, I urge you to remember
that Emmy is new at this.
No making fun of her
when she's the first one out.
Um, how about no being jealous
when I win this whole thing?
Em, I've been doing this
since I was in diapers.
On TV. In a diaper commercial.
Oh, no wonder you're so good
at being a baby.
- Oh!
- Ooh!
[indistinct clamoring]
[whooping]
[school bell rings]
[roars]
What's up, brother?
Hey, Qwest--
I don't know this Qwest you speak of.
I am the Qwestler!
Is this some kind
of stay-in-character contest?
I can neither confirm nor deny
because that would be breaking character.
Hey!
Hey, what do Qwest
and a seafood restaurant in the summer
have in common?
They're both out of muscles!
[recorded voice] M-M-M-Mega burn!
Ouch.
Qwestler's muscles may be small,
but his feelings are… big.
[old Western music plays]
Yippee-ki-yay, y'all.
Well, jeez, cowboy!
Heh. You smell like the south end
of a northbound horse.
[horse whinnies]
Top of the morning,
wee children of the salt!
- Found this wee dog in the park. [laughs]
- [barks]
Hey, nice habit.
You think that we could get one
that covers your whole face?
You wanna say that to me again?
Huh? Wanna fight a nun today?
[whistle blows]
You're out!
What?
You broke character.
Whatever.
No locker is worth having to be… nice.
How long you been camping out there
in Trash Canyon, little lady?
Long enough to catch Jen.
I'll always have my eye on you.
Who knows where I'll be or what I'll be.
Pepper! Bad dog!
- [muffled bark]
- Ahh!
My homework!
[loud sigh]
My teacher's never gonna believe this.
Say, Qwest, don't you got a date
with a fine filly after school?
- Yestler.
- So you're gonna go to your first date
wearing spandex
and talking like you're constipated?
Looks like the Qwestler has to cancel.
Oh, hold on there, partner.
Trina's in that can.
Or is she?
[loud gasp]
Anywhere, anything.
[upbeat musical transition]
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Nun ya business!
[panting] Wah.
What is it, girl?
[whimpers]
Ew, it's wet.
- [panting]
- It's from the Singdicate! Sit.
Ah!
[gasps] Our audition is today!
And they want us to sing a duet! That's…
- [panting]
- …not good.
- Pepper!
- Ack!
You're gonna have to drop
the dog thing during our audition.
- [whimpers]
- But Trina won't find out.
I wouldn't be so sure about that, doll.
But the Singdicate audition is today.
- [barks, pants]
- Yeah? What?
[melodic howl]
[barks]
Puppy's got pipes.
If Pepper howls on pitch,
is that still being a dog?
I'll allow it.
- [both cheer]
- Who's a good girl?
- [woofs]
- Who wants to sing a duet?!
[scoffs] Even as a lunch lady,
I still got it.
Boop!
Mary Jane ♪
He did it like he normally does
but with a southern twang.
I like that.
You know, I wasn't so sure about
this new cowboy thing you're doing,
but people seem to dig it.
Thank you kindly, sir.
[spits]
[thunk]
Spitting's gonna stop though.
You're the boss, hoss.
Long as I still get to lasso this crowd
with my voice on that there stage.
- Soon as you're done with your shift.
- [laughs]
Man, I love this stuff.
[roars]
Uh, you go ahead and order.
The Qwestler has to wazz
and this unitard takes a while
to get off and on.
Ha. Color me shocked.
I figured you'd be run out of the contest
by us more bona fide theater folk by now.
Well…
one of us has to make our parents proud.
[recorded voice] Mic drop!
You better skedaddle.
Ain't room enough
in this boba bar for the both of us.
Yeah, and there ain't room enough
in that guy's hat for his head.
[laughs] Oh, you're one of those
roast comics. Do me, do me.
A boba shop owner
who eats boba with his bare hands?
I'ma go out on a limb
and say you're single.
Oh! [laughs]
She's right!
I am so alone.
[clears throat]
- Boba for Melanie ♪
- [laughs]
[Emmy] Hey, special flavor today.
This guy's hand!
[laughter]
You got that lighter fluid?
'Cause we have had a burn!
Qwestler has a thirst
only boba can quench.
Qwest?
Ooh.
You canceled because you were sick.
Uh…
- And why are you dressed like that?
- It's…
a simple explanation.
- See, I…
- Spill it!
What's the simp explanaish, brah?
The Qwestler is running away
from his problems.
Great first date.
Waves are up.
I gotta go shred.
Oh, no, my phone's running out of battery.
You think I can charge it
in one of your hair plugs?
[laughter]
Please, will you do us the honor
of getting up on that stage
and roasting all of us?
- [crowd cheers]
- Yeah, sure!
- Yup!
- You…
you said this was fixing to be
my time to sing.
I wrote a song all special-like.
Yeah, hey, look, kid, uh…
we got this expression
in the boba community.
The crowd wants what the crowd wants,
and right now…
the crowd wants her!
Hey, sir, uh, you do know
you're at a boba shop, right?
The toupee store is down the street!
- [laughter]
- Ooh!
No, they're crooks!
- They're crooks!
- [flatly] Sabrina.
Don't you usually sing the names?
This ranchero used to do a lot of things.
Sing, smile…
feel.
You know what would cheer you up?
The incredible roast comedian over there.
She's a star.
[Emmy] What a great crowd!
I seriously love you guys.
Almost as much as this girl
likes dressing like a traffic cone!
[pop musical transition]
[panting]
- Just sing it like we practiced, okay?
- [woofs]
- That's a good girl! [chuckles]
- [panting]
- [ethereal music plays]
- [whimpers]
So, you think you have
what it takes to be in…
The Singdicate ♪
The Singdicate! ♪
Yes, Your Honor.
Then begin.
[pop music begins]
I bark, I bite ♪
I might run circles 'round your back ♪
Attack, and I'm the leader of the pack ♪
That's right ♪
'Cause I… ♪
I'm looking for a fight tonight ♪
[rhythmic panting]
No cage or chains or command to stay
Can hold me down ♪
Hold me down ♪
[rhythmic barking]
If you want me sweet
Then you better keep your treats around ♪
[rhythmic panting]
'Cause I got that dog in me ♪
Awoo ♪
I got that dog in me ♪
- Awoo ♪
- I, I, I got that dog in me ♪
- Awoo ♪
- I got that dog in me ♪
Ooh ♪
[holds note, barks]
They're actually pulling it off.
[growls]
God, I'm a good teach--
[barks]
Ruh-roh!
[yowls]
- [cat yowling]
- [barking]
Pepper!
[sharp exhale]
So…
we in?
I wanna win you in the contest, but…
I also wanna win this girl.
[phone chimes]
Oh, it's Oscar.
Mercedes is at Boba Baby
with another date?!
[barking]
Has she broken character?
Does it look like she's broken character?
Oh, no.
[Jen huffs]
Pepper! Okay,
I've officially had it up to--
[whimpers]
Oh… the cat scratched you?
[whimpers]
Oh. Come here.
[sighs]
[winces]
I really wanted to get
into the Singdicate, you know?
[whimpers]
I know you wanted to win that contest,
but it bums me out that you cared more
about winning some locker than helping me.
I know we're frenemies and all, but…
when we're on the same team,
we should be a team.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
Did you just break character for me?
Woof.
I mean, yeah.
- Yeah.
- [chuckles]
[whistle blows]
You're out!
I gotta get to Boba Baby.
Ahh!
[crash, clatter]
Nobody look at me!
- That's a shot.
- [shutter clicks]
Rude!
Oh, and my Ken doll called,
he wants his clothes back!
- Oh!
- Alright, alright, alright.
I need a little break-y.
But when I come back,
I am roasting this cop.
Oh! Don't you dare.
Don't you dare!
- [sighs]
- [laughs]
- [chuckles]
- You are a hoot!
Replacing Oscar with you
was the best decision I ever made.
- Wait, what?
- Oh, yeah, he was supposed to perform,
but I booted him for you.
He had his heart set on it.
Could not wait to perform.
Oh, well! [laughs]
Here.
Oh, man, I gotta give him his spot back.
If I may…
Ah! Trina!
The only thing I can think of that's worse
than my sister upstaging me
is her giving me the thing
I want out of pity.
You're right.
Oscar can't know that I quit.
Mm! I have an idea.
Go get 'em, girl.
Also, you just broke character.
[blows shrill whistle blast] You're out.
[pants] The Qwestler has returned
with a thirst for love.
Hey, you! That's my girl
you're bumping bobas with.
Is this that clown that flaked on you?
- Who you calling a clown, brother?
- The guy in front of me wearing spandex.
Qwestler is a wrestler!
By many accounts, he's the best-ler.
I'd like to see that.
It's showtime!
[grunts]
- Ooh!
- [groans]
What are you doing?
What I should have done from the start.
Telling the truth.
- [grunting]
- Whoa, whoa!
- [grunts]
- Oh!
Oh!
Oh, i-it's fine!
Wrestling's fake.
I'm an actor.
I play pretend,
I wear silly costumes, but…
I'm not pretending to like you.
- So if we're gonna be a thing, I--
- Ow…
Oh, hold on a second.
- Hup!
- Oh!
[sighs] So if we're gonna be a thing,
sometimes I'm gonna get weird assignments
from my weird teacher.
[whistle blows]
You're out!
And I'm not weird.
I'm quirky.
Okay…
Number one:
that was really sweet.
Number two:
I know you're an actor
and you look really cute in spandex.
Three: you might wanna run because
you just beat the boba out of my brother
and he knows karate,
which is definitely not fake!
Hiyah!
Movie tomorrow night?!
Sure!
[women gasp]
Well, I hope we all enjoyed
that little intermission.
But now let's get back
to some more roasting, huh?
- [cheering]
- Everybody, let's have a roast!
- You said you were gonna roast me.
- Roast the cop!
Roast the cop! Roast the cop!
Great idea, but I really wanna roast
- this girl in the sweater.
- Ah!
Her eyes are so pretty,
I wish they were mine!
[laughter]
Wait, hey, uh, that wasn't a roast,
that was a compliment.
Pfft! Says the guy with the perfect teeth
and a successful small business!
- [crowd booing]
- Hey!
I appreciate what you said about my teeth
and my work ethic. It's undeniable.
But the people wanna be entertained!
Howdy.
You city folk sure do dress funny.
Looks like Emmy's all out of roasts.
- You should get up there and sing.
- This cowboy got bucked from the horse
soon as she started doling out her hahas.
Oscar, a win for your sister
isn't a loss for you.
You can both be stars.
[uplifting music plays]
[door opens]
And is it just me or is everybody here
having a great hair day?
No!
- [booing]
- No? Oh, wow, strong arms! Great hands!
[guitar strums]
I was fixing on singing a ditty
about riding my favorite palomino
through the Tallahassee desert.
But I've decided to sing something
a little more… thematic.
I've been shaking in my skin
And I've been scared ♪
That I just wasn't good enough ♪
That I just can't compare ♪
Everyone around me's rising to the top ♪
And I can't shake the feeling
That I'm behind, that I lost ♪
With stages so much bigger ♪
I used to think I failed
When you had won ♪
Was always flying too close to the sun ♪
My insecurities
They get the best of me ♪
I'm gonna set them free ♪
Now that I finally see ♪
There's room for everyone ♪
- Na na na na ♪
- You did a good thing.
Thanks, Trina.
How much did you spend
on those disguises today?
- A lot.
- There's room for everyone ♪
God, I'm a good teacher.
There's room for everyone ♪
- [cheering]
- Congratulations, Oscar.
For staying in character,
you win Tori's magic locker.
[cheering, whooping]
Thanks. This locker's not mine.
It belongs to Hollywood Arts.
I'm going to give this magic locker
back to the community.
'Cause I already have all the luck I need.
And, no, I'm not talking about
my effortless singing voice.
Shockingly thick hair.
Piercing brown eyes.
Naturally rosy cheeks.
My sharp jaw line.
My perfect pitch.
My humble nature
and firm grasp on brevity.
No, I'm not talking
about any of those things.
He's wrapping up.
The luckiest thing in my life
is that I've been blessed
with the best sister in the world.
He's talking about you.
Aw!
[upbeat music playing]
[music ends]
[closing theme music playing]