How to Get to Heaven from Belfast (2026) s01e05 Episode Script

[low, tense music playing]
[pen scratching on pad]
[screams]
My God, she's done it.
She's done it.
My name's Margo. You did very well.
You're a very clever girl.
[chuckles softly]
-[speaking Irish]
-[interpreting] She thinks she's stupid.
That's not true.
[speaking Irish]
He won't come now. He's never coming now.
Who won't come?
[shouts in Irish]
[assistant] God.
-You don't think you're clever?
-[speaking Irish]
-She says--
-I said I knew you were watching.
[chuckles]
I'd like to keep working with this one.
-And the other child?
-Nothing I can do for the other child.
[tense music subsides]
[soft, reflective music playing]
[inhales sharply, sighs]
[groans softly]
[music grows unsettling]
[loud clattering below]
[gasps softly]
[clattering intensifies]
["Love of Your Life"
playing over radio downstairs]
Then I'm laughing ♪
I know it wouldn't make any sense ♪
I could be the love, be the love
Be the love, be the love of your life ♪
I could be the love, be the love
Be the love, be the love of your life ♪
I could be the light, be the light
When you turn off the lights ♪
Good God ♪
I could be the love, be the love
Be the love, be the love of your life ♪
Oh, I could make you confused ♪
I could give you something to lose ♪
I'mma wake you up in the morning ♪
In the bathroom, singin' the blues ♪
-Uh, I won't clean up your place ♪
-Your place… ♪
[gasps]
Did you break that?
They do, like, an inventory, babes.
I'm never gonna hear the end of this.
My last woman,
she threw a fridge out a window.
We were like seven stories up.
It was a whole thing.
You're scared. I get it.
This is a really shit,
really stressful time for you.
But things don't have to get all,
you know, like… Greek.
Who the fuck are you?
-[bubbly pop fades]
-[unsettling music rises]
I'm Feeney.
I'm your new best friend.
You drugged me.
-You undressed me.
-Uh-uh. You're making it sound creepy.
It is fucking creepy.
-Uh, where are my--
-The clothes you had on?
Gotta burn them, I'm afraid.
Mostly because it's, like, procedure.
But also, well,
they're kind of horrific, babes.
-[coffee percolating]
-[gasps] Coffee's ready!
But I want to talk to Booker.
-Booker's gone, babes.
-When will she be back?
You won't see Booker again.
I take things from here.
-What?
-Ah!
Look how cute these wee cups are.
-I don't understand.
-You have questions.
When I land on the scene,
everyone's full of this.
I couldn't be doing with that last night.
So you stuck a syringe in my neck?
I wanna move on
from the syringe thing, babes.
It was late. You needed some sleep.
I had shit to do.
I made an executive decision.
Now, will you please just sit down
and have some coffee
in a wee tiny gold cup?!
Why should I trust you?
[softly] Because there's no one else here.
Yeah, we are 100%
not making it off this flight alive.
What exactly is she gonna do to us
in a confined space
with loads of witnesses?
She seems to really want that box,
so as long as we have…
Hang on. Where is that box?
I'm sorry, ladies.
Your overhead locker's a little stuffed.
-The box is in that bag, isn't it?
-It is, yeah.
Fuck's sake!
Linda, what are you doing, lovely?
-The, uh, locker was over capacity.
-Did it close?
-Yes, but--
-Then it's fine.
Drinks trolley. Now.
Sorry about that.
These agency stand-ins
are always messing with procedure.
Actually, can I just grab
something out of that really quick?
It's, uh…
It… [splutters]
It's our mother's ashes.
Yeah. Yeah, of course, lovely.
Right, let's get you three a drink.
Linda!
[plane engines roar]
[darkly mysterious theme song playing]
[theme song fades]
[energetic music playing]
[Liam] Hey, Saoirse. It's me, eh, Liam.
Excuse the voice note.
I didn't want to call in case
you were working all day. [clicks tongue]
I sent that too soon. I never know
if I should delete and start again,
or if that looks a bit…
-[phone chimes]
-[sighs] Oh fuck me.
Sorry. I did it again there.
I think maybe
I just have really big fingers.
Anyway, look, so I spoke to Margo.
She didn't know anything
about Jodie Pryor, or so she says,
but she did tell me something
which was a bit…
-[phone chimes]
-I don't believe this.
Me again.
Anyway, I spoke to Margo.
She told me when she was pregnant,
she was reading this book.
The author was a psychiatrist she admired.
Greta Ganchaille.
So she, Margo, that is, she decided
she'd name her child after her.
-But here's the thing.
-[phone chimes]
Jesus Christ!
Sorry, here's the thing.
This woman, she only published one book,
and it was written more
than a decade after Greta was born.
So that can't be right, can it?
-I'm not really sure what it means, but--
-[phone chimes]
How the fuck have you done that again?!
Maybe just give me a call back, sure.
[woman on PA] We'll shortly be starting
our descent into Dublin airport.
Please fasten your seatbelts and place
your seat in the upright position.
-Thanks.
-Excuse me. Thanks.
-[sighs]
-[attendant] Rubbish? Any rubbish?
Right, let's do this. Ready?
[both] No.
Great.
[takes a deep breath]
[loudly] Why would we scatter her
in the sea?
Sure, she hated getting her hair wet!
How would you know what she hated?
You never saw her!
You moved to London and forgot about us!
She wanted scattered in the big Primark!
She loved it there.
It was her happy place.
I'm gonna have to ask you all
to take it down a notch.
I can deal with this
if you wanna let the pilot know.
Oh, sure, I'll open the door
to the cockpit now.
Who the hell trained you, Linda? Al-Qaeda?
-You always gave her bad advice.
-Seatbelt. Now.
You were ripping the back out of her.
-Sit back down.
-Well!
Caring for her was
the worst decision you ever made.
It only exacerbated
your avoidant personality
and gave you an excuse to never live
your own life for fear of rejection.
[Robyn exhales sharply]
-["Scandalous" playing]
-So, so, so scandalous ♪
[gasps]
[Dara gasps]
You know you wanna sing with us… ♪
[Robyn] Jesus Christ. Stop it!
[Dara] We're not drunk, not really.
We were acting. It was an act.
Though if you are going to subject us
to any kind of breathalyzer-type scenario,
I should say I've had a few proseccos.
That woman was trying to kill us.
A psychopath.
She locked us in a boat.
A big boat. She blew it up.
She blew the big boat up!
If it wasn't for Dara's banana,
we'd all be standing here dead.
Impersonating a member
of cabin crew staff.
She did not know what she was doing
during that safety demonstration.
Where's the real Linda?
That's what I wanna know.
You have to help us.
-[guard] On you go.
-[huffs]
-[Dara] Okay, then.
-[Saoirse] Thanks for listening, lads.
Shit! Look.
Okay, we have to go. Now.
Without our bags? No chance.
I brought a Max Mara bikini
that cost me 300 quid.
I'm sorry, Robyn.
That is actually immoral.
Absolutely cracker-looking
on me is what it is.
[tense, rhythmic music playing]
[gasps] Okay. Okay.
[indistinct chatter]
Right, come on.
[whimsical music playing]
Hello.
All right, lads?
Thank you, driver.
[whimsical music fades]
[sighs]
This, uh, person who called, this woman,
she said, uh, Greta knew your father?
That she knew something
about his disappearance, yes.
But the caller,
they didn't identify themselves?
No, and that was
the only time they contacted me.
-What date did you receive this call?
-The ninth of this month.
-[pen scratching on pad]
-The day Greta died.
I've since learnt as much, yes.
[sighs] How strange.
[tapping pen on pad]
So did your wife ever mention my father?
-Or talk about dealings with a journalist?
-No, never.
-Would've been a long time ago.
-She didn't mention anything, so…
Well, she… she would have been
a teenager when he went missing.
Around the same age
as your daughter, perhaps.
My daughter?
-Yes.
-What do you know about my daughter?
Well, I… I… I tried your house.
You weren't in,
but she was, and I… I briefly…
-You leave my daughter out of this.
-Sorry?
I mean, whatever this is,
you leave my daughter out of it.
-No, I didn't even speak to her.
-Her mother just died. My wife just died.
I didn't… I didn't mean…
And you come in here
with this insane story?
It's not a story, Inspector O'Neill.
It's a fact.
Someone did call me.
And someone gave me your wife's name.
I don't have time for this.
[Andrew clears throat]
I understand.
I apologize. It's, uh…
It's not the right time, perhaps.
I can wait.
-[knocking on door]
-Yeah?
Anything I can help with?
No.
[sighs]
No, it's… it's fine.
By lonely prison walls ♪
I heard a young girl calling… ♪
Maybe it's time we talk to the guards.
Maybe we should tell them everything.
Yeah, see, but we can't
tell them everything, can we?
There's some bits
we need to keep to ourselves.
Like some quite big criminally type bits.
That Liam guy, he might help.
-My phone's fucked.
-Oh shit. Mine too.
-[cell phone ringing]
-[gasps] Robyn's works.
Fuck's sake, Jim.
-I don't remember his number.
-Why's Jim ringing me?
Maybe because he's your husband
and the father of your children.
Hiya, love. How's things?
-[kids shouting]
-Great, yeah. All under control here.
-[glass shatters]
-Ryan's bleeding, Daddy.
How is Portugal?
Hey, baby, let the free birds fly… ♪
Yeah, a lot of… a lot of Irish here.
One second, love. What in the name of…
-I gotta go deal with this. Ryan!
-We need to focus, girls.
Okay? What do we actually know?
What are the facts?
Okay? We know
that this thing belongs to Jodie.
We know that Jodie and Greta
grew up together.
We know that they were connected.
What was the name of that town again?
Uh…
-Tashbaan.
-Tashbaan. That's right.
-Why are you talking about Narnia?
-What?
Tashbaan. It's from
The Chronicles of Narnia.
Yeah. Jack's reading it.
I forgot how messed up it is.
That lion is a fecking narcissist.
I… I… I gotta go, love, okay?
Right, bye. Bye, bye, bye.
Yeah, love you. Bye.
-[team] Low lie ♪
-[under breath] Fuck.
-[team] The Fields Of Athenry… ♪
-Jesus Christ.
What is it?
-He was right.
-What are you talking about?
They couldn't have come from Tashbaan.
Because Tashbaan
doesn't actually exist, girls.
Every single thing she told us
was a fucking lie.
Songs to sing ♪
It's so lonely
Round the fields of Athenry ♪
[camera shutter clicks]
[Feeney] And with that,
it's goodbye, Jodie. Perfect.
A passport pic
is everyone on their best day.
It looks great like this,
by the way, babes.
If I do say so myself.
The truth is,
you don't have to do that much.
What's that thing they say about lying?
A good lie stays close to the truth.
Like with your name.
I always think it's best
to go for something that sounds similar.
That way, when someone calls you,
or you have to sign something,
it's less of a leap,
like, psychologically.
So I'm thinking
Gráinne!
Gráinne?
I think it suits you, babes.
I honestly do.
Gráinne.
It's like an echo
of the person you once were.
I like that. Like a ghost of yourself.
That's actually quite profound.
That's me, babes.
Now, the surname,
we have less freedom with.
We have to work off
a list that's been cleared. Ugh.
I must have left it upstairs.
Let me run and grab it.
Gotta take the hardware with me,
I'm afraid, babes.
It's not that I don't trust you.
It's just better safe than sorry
type thing.
And I've been stung before.
People are like,
"I just want to talk to my mother."
Or sister. Or son.
Or springer fucking spaniel.
[dramatically] "Just once."
"Just to hear their voice."
I'm like, "I get it, babes.
But now you've blown the whole operation,
and I'm starting to side
with whoever it is that wants you dead."
You're on the other side of things now,
I guess.
What's that?
Well, earlier, you said
that you were evaporated too.
Oh, right. Yeah.
But I was so young.
How young?
Thirteen.
[unsettling music rises]
Yeah, my parents, they were both… [sighs]
God, I still haven't found
a better way of putting this.
Like,
they were kinda murdered, babes.
I'm so sorry.
You don't need to know all the details.
Trust me, it will kill the craic.
Overnight, my environment became…
[clicks tongue] Well, not the safest.
And Booker heard what happened,
and she decided to help me.
Booker saved me.
I owe her everything.
I guess that's why I'm here.
Doing what I do.
-[chuckles softly]
-That's something else we have in common.
-[chuckles softly]
-What is?
Well, you were young too.
When that Margo woman stepped up, I mean.
[unsettling music rises]
You know about that?
-You know what happened with my mother?
-We know everything, babes.
[music grows suspenseful]
-["Blue (Da Ba Dee)" playing]
-I'm blue, da-ba-dee, da-ba-di ♪
Da-ba-dee, da-ba-di ♪
Da-ba-dee, da-ba-di ♪
Da-ba-dee, da-ba-di ♪
Da-ba-dee, da-ba-di ♪
Da-ba-dee, da-ba-di ♪
Da-ba-dee, da-ba-di ♪
Cheers, lads!
You go kick the shit
out of those Galway feckers!
-[man 1] We'll be drinking for you.
-[man 2] Yeah!
-["Blue" fades]
-[bus horn honks]
It's not St. Patrick's Day, is it?
[bagpipes playing]
[exclaims]
Fuck's sake.
And I'm not even wearing green.
It's supposed to bring you bad luck.
I think it already has.
[tense music playing]
Run!
-["Bould O'Donoghue" playing]
-I'm the boy to tease her ♪
And I'm the boy to please her… ♪
[Saoirse] Excuse me.
And I'll tell you what we'll do
I'll court her like an Irishman… ♪
[Saoirse] Jesus Christ!
[Saoirse grunts]
[band performing "Bould O'Donoghue"]
And I can be the dew drop
And upon your brow, I'd fall ♪
Perhaps that she might think on me
As a rather… ♪
-Oh!
-Excuse me. Sorry.
For I'm the boy to please her ♪
And I'm the boy to tease her… ♪
-Sorry. Excuse me.
-And I'll tell you what we'll do ♪
I'll court her like an Irishman ♪
And me brogue
And blarney too is my plan ♪
With my rolligan, swalligan
Holligan, wolligan ♪
[stunned silence]
[sighs]
-She's grand!
-[cheering]
I'm the boy to please her ♪
And I'm the boy to tease her ♪
The boy to squeeze her
I'll tell you what we'll do… ♪
[Saoirse] She's here.
How does she do that?
Go, go, go.
-Oh!
-[upbeat tune ends]
[group panting]
["Whiskey in the Jar" playing]
Thanks. Sure you don't want one?
-I'm grand.
-That's not very Irish of you.
That's quite offensive.
-He's no craic.
-[chuckles]
Don't say "craic."
-Sorry.
-Great man, St. Patrick.
Single-handedly drove the English
out of Ireland, you know.
No, wait. Not the English.
Snakes.
-[man] Seamus, two pints.
-With you now, Donal.
You're quite upbeat
for a fella with a missing da.
He went missing when I was a baby.
I've settled into it.
Mm.
Would you like a straw?
-Do you think I could ask for one?
-No.
[Andrew] So why all these questions
about my meeting with your boss?
[Liam] Just curiosity, really.
Okay, well…
I don't trust him.
Really?
-I've seen you before.
-I'm sorry?
I called at Owen's house yesterday.
I walked there.
I, uh, saw him lead you out.
Saw you get in your car and drive away.
You didn't see me. Neither did he.
But, anyway,
when I reached the door,
there's no answer.
For some reason,
he didn't want to speak to me.
Why don't you trust him?
What makes you think I don't trust him?
The fact that you're sitting here.
All right, fine.
In the meantime, let me show you this.
So these are my father's old notebooks.
-I've, uh, been trying to decode them.
-Decode?
He interviewed paramilitary members,
intelligence agents.
When you said he was a journalist,
he was an actual journalist.
So, a few times he talks about
what I thought was something like
"sad girl" or "mournful woman."
But then I found out
that the school that Greta attended
was called Our Lady of the Sorrows.
You know there are probably
100 schools in Ireland with that name.
Yes. But then there's this.
-What does it mean?
-No idea.
It feels religious.
That's my instinct, anyway.
I, uh, went to Greta's old school
for a look.
There's this whole area of the grounds
that's just sort of abandoned now.
And there's an old caretaker's cottage.
This isn't all just a coincidence.
Greta O'Neill was connected to my father.
How did you find out
that was Greta's old school?
Well, when I spoke to her friends,
they mentioned it.
And Greta, well,
she'd have still been there
the year that my father disappeared.
Did you say you spoke to her friends?
Hey, Saoirse.
So, uh, I just had a chat with Andrew.
You remember Andrew? English lad.
He spoke to you about the fact
that his father disappeared.
About how he thinks Greta was involved.
Now, here's what I'm wondering.
I'm wondering
why you didn't mention any of this.
I want you to call me back. I want you
to tell me what the hell is going on here.
Fuck it. I'm coming to Belfast.
See you at the studio.
[choir singing in distance]
[Saoirse] If this is how it ends,
if I die today…
then I want my conscience to be clear.
[Dara] You're not dying, Saoirse.
-My head is banging.
-I might have painkillers in my bum bag.
At some point, we need to address the fact
that you've started wearing a bum bag.
These are mum's.
They're prescription only.
-And they are really strong.
-Class.
[Robyn] We need backup. I'm calling Jim.
What's Jim gonna do?
That mad bitch'll have Jim for breakfast.
[line rings]
[Jim] How's it going? Jim's phone.
-Where the hell is he?
-Leave a message after the beep.
He's gone out.
Who the hell does he think he is?
-You're tracking Jim?
-Obviously.
I haven't trusted him
since the whole affair thing.
There was no fucking affair thing.
Shit. She's tracking us.
She's tagged us somehow.
It could be on our clothes, in our hair.
-You know what that means?
-In our hair?
She's on her way here.
[whimsical music playing]
Robyn, stay beside that door.
I don't want a priest walking in here
and seeing my fandango.
What's your fandango doing out?
Can everybody keep their fandangos
under wraps, please?
Shush. Listen.
[whistling in distance]
Grab a weapon, quick.
[strains] Nope.
Come on.
Yes! We're ready.
For a fucking exorcism, maybe.
Who is she, girls?
What is she playing at now?
[man] Let's see that smile. Come on, now.
[energetic music playing]
[man on PA] Moving on to scene 32A.
Let's have cast
on set in five minutes, please.
[bustling chatter]
[Seb] A mix of blood and brain.
Last time, it just…
Honestly, it looked like an Eton mess.
-Terrible. It was so obviously--
-Excuse me.
-I'm gonna have to see the brain.
-Excuse me.
Scene 32A.
Crew show, people. Crew show.
Seb. I'm not sure if you remember me.
The cop. I remember.
-I'm looking for Saoirse.
-I bet.
-Why would I know where she is?
-Well, you work together.
And also, aren't you engaged?
Well, I'm sure you've seen
more of her than me recently.
-What?
-You think I don't know what's going on?
-There's nothing going on.
-Look, I don't mind.
-You don't mind?
-I'd just like to be involved.
Involved?
I think you'll find I have
a lot to offer in that department.
Okay. I genuinely don't know
what you're talking about.
And I'm kind of afraid to ask.
Oh, come off it.
-It explains why she's been AWOL for days.
-What does?
She's storylining season five,
and you're helping with research.
Oh. No.
Pushing me out. Again.
So much for TV being collaborative.
Listen, boss…
Why are you in the wrong uniform?
-No, he's a guard.
-[man] We're shooting scenes next week.
Costume, this idiot's
in the wrong uniform.
-I'm not an actor. I'm a real person.
-Actors aren't real people?
He's an actual guard. He's helping Saoirse
storyline season five.
Really?
We're gonna have to swap out scene 15.
This rain's not stopping.
-Oh no.
-Could you have her call me?
Seb, darling, my car's here to take me
to that god-awful telly interview.
-Love you, darling.
-[Seb] What's 15 again?
[man] Exterior school.
Burying of the body.
Okay, fine.
Hey, uh, sorry.
Do you have a script?
[sighs]
Can we get a move on, people?
[Booker whistling]
[Robyn] What is she playing at?
She knows we're in here.
Sanctuary law!
She's obeying
our right to claim sanctuary.
So long as we're in here,
she won't touch us.
So why the fuck would we leave?
[phone ringing]
[clears throat]
Hello.
[Booker] I just want the box.
You've been swept up
in something you deserve no part of.
-I don't want to hurt you.
-You tried to kill us.
The boat? That was a warning.
If I really wanted you dead, you would be.
I just want the box.
Why?
What's in it? What…
What's all this got to do with Greta?
Knowing that
will infect you like a disease.
A fatal one.
All you have to do is come out here
and hand me the box.
Do that, and I promise
you will never see me again.
After a while, you'll begin to question
if any of this actually even happened.
[sighs]
If I ever actually existed.
What'll it be?
Let me do it.
[intense, rhythmic music playing]
[intense music fades]
Why didn't you come inside?
I don't do business in God's house.
I don't trust him.
I see.
Well…
We don't make deals with the devil.
[gentle guitar music playing]
Ah.
It's so cute.
Wee charity shop number.
You gotta get the balance right
with this stuff.
It's more time-consuming,
but every stitch you own
can't be brand-new.
I'll sort the basics,
'cause they haven't told me
where you're going yet.
So I don't know
what conditions we're dealing with.
-Will you travel with me?
-They'll send the midwife.
The what?
She delivers you to your new life.
-When?
-Soon. Too soon.
It was my understanding that when
I'm settled, my daughter could join me.
Oh, come on, babes.
-I get that there's a lot to do.
-That's one way to put it.
-I thought if I could get a time frame…
-You're giving me cause for concern here.
-You're concerning me. I'm concerned.
-You don't need to be.
-A time frame?
-Just roughly.
-This is a very delicate procedure.
-I get that.
With no guarantees.
-But if everything goes to plan…
-With no guarantees!
She's my daughter,
and she thinks I'm dead.
Which is in her best interests.
[Greta sniffles]
-You'll be okay.
-[sobs]
Will I?
Some people are built to survive.
[Greta sighs]
That's what Booker told me
when my parents died.
She said she knew I was different
because I cleaned it all up.
Most adults
couldn't have managed that, she said.
Cleaned what up?
The mess, babes.
There was such a terrible mess.
They were stabbed, you see.
[eerie music playing]
Thirteen times between them.
Oh my God.
[sniffles] It's fine, honestly.
They wouldn't have known
anything about it.
What do you mean?
They were fast asleep.
[sniffles] Thirteen times.
A wound for every miserable year.
Oh, don't look so shocked.
You recognized it in me.
I saw it in you too.
Before I'd read a word.
It takes one to know one,
doesn't it, babes?
You'll be okay.
You'll survive.
People like us always do.
[church bell tolling]
[man] Should we call somebody?
You all right, love?
[woman] Are you okay?
[intense music playing]
Exactly what part of the plan
were you unclear on, Dara?
I'm telling you it was chilling.
I was standing there,
looking her right in the eyes.
And it was like she had no soul.
It was like being
in the presence of evil. Actual evil.
How might someone like that react
to you bashing her face in, I wonder?
She was never gonna let us
walk away, Robyn. She was lying.
-What's this queue for, exactly?
-I've no idea.
But if we're hiding behind lots of people,
she'll have to kill them first.
-Jesus, Robyn.
-[woman] Next, please.
Even I think that's dark, and I'm morally
quite sketchy. Like, I work in television.
Speaking of which,
Seb's been trying to get you.
He wants to know how many scripts
to give Liam now that he's a consultant.
Why is he asking for scripts?
-He'll need them if he's a consultant.
-He's not a consultant, Dara.
[sighs] What is going on here?
Go easy on those.
-Tickets?
-For what?
The Late Late Show.
[gasps] Oh my God, The Late Late Show.
I love Patrick Kielty.
I love Patrick Kielty.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, he's good at what he does.
I just don't get what all the fuss is.
Fine. I love Patrick Kielty. Jesus.
She can't kill us on live TV.
Hey, can you guys move aside, please?
Uh, we don't have tickets
because these are the competition winners.
What are you talking about?
It should be on your list.
Jesus, I emailed about this yesterday.
What list are you working from?
-Who put you on the door?
-Kara.
Ah. Typical. Aye.
Well, tell me that you at least
held some house seats back.
-Yeah, of course. Always.
-Good. So, shall we?
[Saoirse] Mm!
-[woman] Tickets?
-I've seen a lot of 30 Rock.
But you've yet to watch
one episode of my show.
-Your show's not funny.
-How would you know?
[Robyn] Thank you.
We're just down the end there. Sorry.
-[Dara] Thank you.
-Thanks very much. We're just down there.
Thank you.
Excuse me. Thank you.
All right, okay.
We should be okay for a wee while.
-[woman] Going live in three…
-Ooh.
[drum beat playing]
[upbeat fanfare playing]
[crowd cheering]
Thank you!
Hello, good evening.
Welcome to The Late Late Show.
And let's hear it for our band, folks.
Look at Jonathan there.
Hey, would you ever
turn that bollocks off?
And happy St. Patrick's Day!
[TV audience cheers]
Also on the show tonight,
he went viral this week
when he rescued a blind sheep
stuck in the mud
halfway up the Wicklow Mountains
and carried it down on his back to safety.
His name is Sean O'Kelly.
Ah, good man yourself, Sean.
Where would you get it?
What a strange show.
She plays Detective Emma Fierce
in the smash hit, multi-award-winning
television series Murder Code.
Let's have a huge welcome
for the one and only Marnie Mullins!
You're shitting me.
Isn't that those three Belfast eejits
we questioned?
[Peadar] I think you're right.
Are you sure?
Sure, I'm sure.
I'd recognize your one anywhere.
-[Liam] This thing's still live, right?
-[Pól] Oh God, yeah.
You cannot whack it.
Now this show has such a huge following.
Sure we all love a bit of Murder Code.
[audience cheers]
When you read the scripts,
did you know it was gonna be such a hit?
-Do you know what, Paddy?
-Here we go.
No. [laughs]
I actually struggled
to see what the big deal was,
but then I realized
it was the audience's attachment
to my character, Emma…
"My character, Emma."
…that was the big pull.
So I made a few suggestions…
Which I ignored.
…to make her relatable,
and the scripts
were definitely elevated after that.
-I mean, we did a lot of work on them.
-"We."
And after all that, I think
we knew we'd made something truly special.
Well, special is right.
What was it,
something like ten million viewers
tuned in to see you catch
the elusive courier killer
in your own home?
Actually, a lot
of that scene was improvised.
That is it.
That is it.
Oh my God. [chuckles]
Uh, that's our writer, Saoirse Shaw.
Surprise!
[Patrick] Saoirse Shaw,
writer of Murder Code.
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's get her down here!
Really?
Look! Mammy's on TV! She really is!
Lads, will you stop?
Your mum's in Portugal.
-So, Saoirse.
-Patrick Kielty.
Paddy. Patrick. Paddy Kielty. PK.
-Mr. Paddy.
-[Patrick] Take a breath.
Yes.
Jesus.
[both] Jesus.
So, tell us, uh, this.
Where do you get your inspiration?
All these complicated plots
and twists and turns.
I… I guess lots of things inspire me.
Books.
Yeah, look, Seb. Just calm down.
I'm just loading up now. Give me a second.
Yep, got it.
Films.
News stories.
Uh, history…
Oh, what the fuck is she doing?
How many of those bloody pills
did she take?
Oh, for God's sake.
Sort of about the things
that happen in real life, even.
Let's talk about that.
-Talk about…
-Give us an example.
Well…
-Uh, maybe I shouldn't say this.
-Go on. Don't be a tease.
[audience grumbles]
When we were young, my friends and I,
we did this pretty terrible thing.
But only because we were…
We were trying to protect someone.
-Go on.
-I'll get in trouble here.
Sure isn't that what live TV is for?
[audience cheers]
I think this is a bad idea,
Patrick Kielty.
[Patrick] Tell us.
[Patrick and audience chanting]
Tell us, tell us!
Tell us, tell us!
Tell us, tell us!
Tell us, tell us!
Tell us!
Well, it turns out the person
we were trying to protect, she was
lying.
So now we've done this terrible thing,
but we don't even…
We don't even know why.
If this were Murder Code,
and you were Emma,
I mean, what would you do?
Well, I suppose…
Well, I suppose Emma would realize
that she's overlooked something small,
something that she initially thought
was insignificant.
But it turns out…
[Patrick] That it was the key
to unlocking the case.
[echoing] The key to unlocking the box.
She had it all along.
I had it all along.
She already knew the answer.
I already know the answer.
[Patrick] Of course you do.
You've seen it. Where have you seen it?
I don't know.
Think.
[unsettling music playing]
-I don't remember. I can't remember it.
-Picture it.
Picture it.
A painting.
A painting. A picture of a painting.
I've got it.
Do you know, Paddy, it was
actually a pretty challenging shoot.
-How so?
-I had these sort of panic attacks…
I really must get her some media training.
Back in five.
Don't go anywhere now. Roll it there.
[Robyn] Totally squandered.
Big fan of your work. Right.
Let's go. We've got to get you.
[Saoirse] I saw Patrick Kielty.
[Dara] We all saw Patrick Kielty.
Keep going. Quick as you like.
Jesus Christ. Let's go.
Head down. Come on.
[Dara] Jesus, Saoirse.
Those things could kill a horse!
You're such a liability.
I think I solved it.
We solved it.
Me and Patrick Kielty.
I love Patrick Kielty.
[groans]
We already saw the answer.
We had it right in front of us.
What?
The symbol in Portugal.
Did you take a picture?
Wait.
Um…
Was there a number on it?
[Robyn] Yes, there was a number.
It's a date.
Call it out.
[Robyn] Um, two, five,
zero, one,
nine, seven.
[eerie music playing]
Oh my God.
[elevator bell dings]
["It's All Coming Back to Me Now"
playing on headphones]
What happened to her?
But when you touch me like this ♪
And you hold me like that ♪
It was gone with the wind ♪
But it's all coming back to me… ♪
[Liam] What the hell
is going on here, girls?
It's actually quite difficult
to know where to start.
Charles Sampson. Start there.
What do you know about Charles Sampson?
-Watch out!
-[group gasps]
[ominous music playing]
Holy shit.
Step out of the car.
What do you want?
[gasps]
[Booker] You. Drive.
-Move!
-[gasps]
You keep going till I tell you to stop.
[cheery band music playing]
[bright music continues]
[music fades out]