Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s01e05 Episode Script
Shell Game
1
Andrews,
have a look.
I've never seen
anything like it.
I've seen you see something
just like it, Nelson.
It's called a tortoise.
No, no.
Look here.
There's
something encrusted
onto its shell.
Oh, my.
Whatever could it be?
Breathe deeply.
(Inhaling and exhaling)
The breathe flows to
the fingertips,
then down to the toes
Then the toes
go up
The bad guy's
nose.
Hyah!
What? He was
asking for it.
Discipline, Jade.
But I want to be
a lean, mean,
Jackie chan
machine.
Don't be in such a hurry.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Chinese proverb,
right?
Uh, Greek, actually.
The story of the tortoise
and the hare.
Once upon a--where you going?
Breakfast.
Race ya!
Ahhh!
Morning, Jackie.
Hello, Kevin.
It's going to be
sunny today.
I have to take
your word for it.
Newscaster:
Today's weather forecast,
clear and sunny with highs
in the mid 80's
for the bay area.
Morning, Jade.
Hey, Carlos.
And now for local events.
This big fellow's name
is aesop, and he's the star
of the new
galapagos island exhibit
at the bay aquarium.
Tortoise?
Talk about your coinkadink.
The odd thing is,
the aquarium's experts
noticed this little
"who knows what"
imbedded
in aesop's shell.
A tortoise and a hare?
Jackie!
What?
That!
No, we are not
getting a dog.
I saw a talisman.
It's on the tortoise's shell
at the bay aquarium.
It had 2 long ears
like a bunny.
The tortoise?
No. The talisman.
Huh. There is a rabbit
in the Chinese zodiac.
I will investigate.
Cool.
While you're in school.
Aw.
Stop!
Valmont, hey.
New suite? Heh heh.
Lookin' sharp.
Go back one.
Tohru.
So there I was,
flying the plane
all by myself,
no co-pilot, and
Jackie's hanging out
the back
flopping around
with no parachute
or anything.
Yeah, right. I bet
the snake lady
was there, too.
Viper? Nah.
That was in
New York.
Teacher: Jade!
Perhaps you can answer
the question for us.
Uh, that last
question
or the one
before it,
miss hardman?
The question you would
have heard if you were
paying attention.
Perhaps you need
an extra-credit
assignment.
Hmm. Dibs on
the topic?
The rabbit talisman.
The question is
how to remove it.
No need to worry about
harming aesop's shell.
It's very durable.
Uh, little girl,
this area is off limits.
Little girl?
Jade!
You should be home.
That's why they
call it homework?
Uh-uh-uh.
It's legit.
Research.
I'm doing
a report
on aesop.
Look, Jade, that really is
a talisman on the tortoise,
and if you saw it
on TV we can bet
the dark hand did, too.
(Scoffs) Like
bad guys watch
Jade: TV.
Chan?
Go! Take Jade.
Ohh!
Ooh!
Uhh!
- Ugh!
- Eh!
Uhh.
Hyah! Ooh!
Puh, pluh, ptooey.
Ooh?
Aah!
Hyah!
And I'm getting
extra credit for this.
Whoop!
Uhh. Uh. Uh.
Uh, ew, uh.
Let go of me.
Ooh!
(Growling)
Mm-mmm, uh, mm.
Aah!
Jade: Jackie!
The tortoise.
(Sighing)
Jackie,
what do we do?
Mm-mmm!
Which way?
I'll make
him talk.
Whoop!
Remember, slow and steady
wins the race.
I like
my plan better.
Yuck!
Now, let's watch and learn.
You know, shendu,
these talisman
expeditions--let's just
say I'm racking up
some hefty out-of-pocket
expenses and as of yet
there's nothing
coming back into
my pocket.
When and only when your men
acquire all 12 talismans,
the lost treasure
of chin chi wong
shall cover your expenses
10 thousand times over.
The reputed
lost treasure.
Ahh. So we have a sceptic.
Aah! Ooh!
Patience, valmont.
Slow and steady
wins the race.
Ahem.
Valmont, we scored
the talisman.
Heh heh heh.
And the team mascot.
You have the tortoise?
When chan showed,
we had to bail
with the snail.
Prepare for a detour.
I have an acquaintance
whom I'm certain
will pay top dollar
for our endangered friend.
That's why you're
the boss, "v".
Whoa! Getting
another call.
Hello.
Yo, ratso.
Oh, well,
sorry, dude.
Forget sorry.
I need a ride.
Where?
Yeah. I can find it.
He's arranging
to meet with
the others.
Cool!
Now we jump him?
Keep low,
he'll see us.
But this time wait for me!
Quick! Jump in.
Hey!
Jade.
Uncle?
Grr!
So how was school?
Peachy.
Aah. Peachy.
One more thing.
Did Jackie find
the rabbit talisman?
(Growling) I am not Jade.
I am paigon the powerful,
ruler of the rabbit realm.
Ohh! Aah!
(Growling)
I must fulfill my destiny
or the universe itself
shall become un-made.
Release me at once.
(Coughing)
Man, that's rough
on the throat.
We're
outnumbered.
Aah!
Don't you have
a report to do?
Hello. Research?
Need the tortoise.
Gentlemen.
Are you Karl niver?
Ni-vor. Dr. Karl nivor.
In the flesh.
Who's this
nivor guy?
Shh!
And this fellow must be
the merchandise of which
my friend valmont spoke.
Mmm, yes.
You're a fine specimen,
aren't you?
Aren't you?
The money!
Boris,
pay the man.
Care to join me
for dinner?
Thank you, no.
But we're having
quite the delicacy.
A dish so rare,
you might say
it's endangered.
Turtle soup.
Eww. He's gonna
eat aesop?
Oh. He's gonna
eat aesop.
Are you sure?
Hmm?
Yes, we, uh--uh--um--
must deliver this
to valmont.
Ohh. Tohru has
the talisman.
He's going to
eat aesop.
Well? The sooner
you fetch a forklift,
the sooner
I may lift a fork
to my lips.
Wait here.
Whoa!
Jackie!
Where you going?
After the talisman.
But what about aesop?
You could choose another
topic for your report.
Duh! This isn't about
the report.
Aesop's going to be
that creepy guy's din-din
if we don't do something.
We will do
something--
after I get
the talisman.
Follow me.
But you never want me
to follow you,
and aesop's in
immediate danger.
Jade, we don't
know what power
this talisman
possesses.
If the dark hand
gets it, people
could be in danger.
Oh, so you're ok letting
something that looks
just like uncle get eaten?
Ohh! Where do you
come up with
these things? Huh?
Chan?
I thought I heard
your voice.
Maim him.
Jade: Whoa!
Jackie: Ooh!
Aah!
Ohh!
Ha! Whoo!
Aah!
- Uhh!
Whoo. Grr.
Uhh!
Aah!
Ooh! Aah!
Huh? Whoa!
Uhh!
Ooh! Uncle.
Where?
Eyah!
- Ooh!
Tohru: Ooh!
Tohru!
(Fighting in plane)
Ooh!
Careful!
That one
turns you into
a chocolate bunny.
How did you get
down thereSo fast?
Aah!
Ooh!
MmmPeppy.
Boris,
that braised manatee
you prepared last week
was absolutely exquisite
and the grilled
American condor
on a bed
of fava beans
(Smacking lips)
To die for.
Don't forget
the carrots.
I'll be aft
in the study.
Unh! Unh!
Uhh!
Who's a--
chocolate--
bunny--
now?
Hmm?
Uhh!
Whoa!
Big man
can move.
(Growling)
Whoa!
Something's--aah!
Tohru: Aah!
Jade?
Jade!
Uhh!
Come on.
Come on.
(Meat locker shuts)
Stop!
Heh.
Pretty please?
A stowaway?
Release aesop, you
tortoise-eating creep.
Such a delightful child.
She'll go well with
a nice bernaise sauce,
wouldn't you say, Boris?
(Gasp) What?
Only joking, Princess.
Children are much too common
for my sophisticated palate.
Lock her up
and get on with my dinner.
I'm getting cranky.
Jade! Jade! Jade.
How like--
duh!
(Clanking)
Jade?
Jade!
Jackie, I'm in here.
Whoa. How'd you go
there to here
so fast?
And now we'll save
the tortoise.
See? Slow and steady
wins the race.
But you have
super rabbit speed.
I'm getting
mixed messages here.
Oh--eh--uh--don't be smart.
Whoop!
Valmont,
your men are supposed
to find talismans,
not sell pets.
Perhaps
if you had given
fair consideration
to the advance
I requested,
none of this would
have---
whoa. I did not know
he could do that.
I assure you, shendu,
the rabbit talisman
will be retrieved.
How right you are.
Kitchen's closed.
Uhh!
- Jackie: Come on.
Unh! Ah!
Uhh!
- Eh!
Ohh!
Uh-oh.
Out here?
Ha ha ha.
What's up, doc?
What?
How did you--
I want my dinner.
Whaa!
Whoa!
Jade and doctor: Huh?
Vamoose!
What?
UhWelcome?
I don't have it.
Charge!
Huh? Oh!
Jade: Wahoo!
Ah! Anyone
for leftovers?
Boy: Oh, come on!
A turbo turtle?
Faster than
a speeding rabbit.
No way!
Way!
Yeah, right.
I bet that super
strong ox guy
was there, too.
Jade: El toro? Nah.
That was in Mexico
when I was flying the plane.
Boy:
- Hey, Jackie, do you like
to watch television?
Yes. I learn so many things
on television.
You know, my English
I learned from the TV.
I like education channel,
discovery channel.
Even cartoon
I can learn something.
I want TV.
I'm only in Hong Kong.
I can watch
what's going on in Morocco.
What's going on
South Africa and Europe,
everywhere.
And really learn
a lot of things
I don't know before.
Even training, I watch TV.
TV is my teacher.
I love TV.
Andrews,
have a look.
I've never seen
anything like it.
I've seen you see something
just like it, Nelson.
It's called a tortoise.
No, no.
Look here.
There's
something encrusted
onto its shell.
Oh, my.
Whatever could it be?
Breathe deeply.
(Inhaling and exhaling)
The breathe flows to
the fingertips,
then down to the toes
Then the toes
go up
The bad guy's
nose.
Hyah!
What? He was
asking for it.
Discipline, Jade.
But I want to be
a lean, mean,
Jackie chan
machine.
Don't be in such a hurry.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Chinese proverb,
right?
Uh, Greek, actually.
The story of the tortoise
and the hare.
Once upon a--where you going?
Breakfast.
Race ya!
Ahhh!
Morning, Jackie.
Hello, Kevin.
It's going to be
sunny today.
I have to take
your word for it.
Newscaster:
Today's weather forecast,
clear and sunny with highs
in the mid 80's
for the bay area.
Morning, Jade.
Hey, Carlos.
And now for local events.
This big fellow's name
is aesop, and he's the star
of the new
galapagos island exhibit
at the bay aquarium.
Tortoise?
Talk about your coinkadink.
The odd thing is,
the aquarium's experts
noticed this little
"who knows what"
imbedded
in aesop's shell.
A tortoise and a hare?
Jackie!
What?
That!
No, we are not
getting a dog.
I saw a talisman.
It's on the tortoise's shell
at the bay aquarium.
It had 2 long ears
like a bunny.
The tortoise?
No. The talisman.
Huh. There is a rabbit
in the Chinese zodiac.
I will investigate.
Cool.
While you're in school.
Aw.
Stop!
Valmont, hey.
New suite? Heh heh.
Lookin' sharp.
Go back one.
Tohru.
So there I was,
flying the plane
all by myself,
no co-pilot, and
Jackie's hanging out
the back
flopping around
with no parachute
or anything.
Yeah, right. I bet
the snake lady
was there, too.
Viper? Nah.
That was in
New York.
Teacher: Jade!
Perhaps you can answer
the question for us.
Uh, that last
question
or the one
before it,
miss hardman?
The question you would
have heard if you were
paying attention.
Perhaps you need
an extra-credit
assignment.
Hmm. Dibs on
the topic?
The rabbit talisman.
The question is
how to remove it.
No need to worry about
harming aesop's shell.
It's very durable.
Uh, little girl,
this area is off limits.
Little girl?
Jade!
You should be home.
That's why they
call it homework?
Uh-uh-uh.
It's legit.
Research.
I'm doing
a report
on aesop.
Look, Jade, that really is
a talisman on the tortoise,
and if you saw it
on TV we can bet
the dark hand did, too.
(Scoffs) Like
bad guys watch
Jade: TV.
Chan?
Go! Take Jade.
Ohh!
Ooh!
Uhh!
- Ugh!
- Eh!
Uhh.
Hyah! Ooh!
Puh, pluh, ptooey.
Ooh?
Aah!
Hyah!
And I'm getting
extra credit for this.
Whoop!
Uhh. Uh. Uh.
Uh, ew, uh.
Let go of me.
Ooh!
(Growling)
Mm-mmm, uh, mm.
Aah!
Jade: Jackie!
The tortoise.
(Sighing)
Jackie,
what do we do?
Mm-mmm!
Which way?
I'll make
him talk.
Whoop!
Remember, slow and steady
wins the race.
I like
my plan better.
Yuck!
Now, let's watch and learn.
You know, shendu,
these talisman
expeditions--let's just
say I'm racking up
some hefty out-of-pocket
expenses and as of yet
there's nothing
coming back into
my pocket.
When and only when your men
acquire all 12 talismans,
the lost treasure
of chin chi wong
shall cover your expenses
10 thousand times over.
The reputed
lost treasure.
Ahh. So we have a sceptic.
Aah! Ooh!
Patience, valmont.
Slow and steady
wins the race.
Ahem.
Valmont, we scored
the talisman.
Heh heh heh.
And the team mascot.
You have the tortoise?
When chan showed,
we had to bail
with the snail.
Prepare for a detour.
I have an acquaintance
whom I'm certain
will pay top dollar
for our endangered friend.
That's why you're
the boss, "v".
Whoa! Getting
another call.
Hello.
Yo, ratso.
Oh, well,
sorry, dude.
Forget sorry.
I need a ride.
Where?
Yeah. I can find it.
He's arranging
to meet with
the others.
Cool!
Now we jump him?
Keep low,
he'll see us.
But this time wait for me!
Quick! Jump in.
Hey!
Jade.
Uncle?
Grr!
So how was school?
Peachy.
Aah. Peachy.
One more thing.
Did Jackie find
the rabbit talisman?
(Growling) I am not Jade.
I am paigon the powerful,
ruler of the rabbit realm.
Ohh! Aah!
(Growling)
I must fulfill my destiny
or the universe itself
shall become un-made.
Release me at once.
(Coughing)
Man, that's rough
on the throat.
We're
outnumbered.
Aah!
Don't you have
a report to do?
Hello. Research?
Need the tortoise.
Gentlemen.
Are you Karl niver?
Ni-vor. Dr. Karl nivor.
In the flesh.
Who's this
nivor guy?
Shh!
And this fellow must be
the merchandise of which
my friend valmont spoke.
Mmm, yes.
You're a fine specimen,
aren't you?
Aren't you?
The money!
Boris,
pay the man.
Care to join me
for dinner?
Thank you, no.
But we're having
quite the delicacy.
A dish so rare,
you might say
it's endangered.
Turtle soup.
Eww. He's gonna
eat aesop?
Oh. He's gonna
eat aesop.
Are you sure?
Hmm?
Yes, we, uh--uh--um--
must deliver this
to valmont.
Ohh. Tohru has
the talisman.
He's going to
eat aesop.
Well? The sooner
you fetch a forklift,
the sooner
I may lift a fork
to my lips.
Wait here.
Whoa!
Jackie!
Where you going?
After the talisman.
But what about aesop?
You could choose another
topic for your report.
Duh! This isn't about
the report.
Aesop's going to be
that creepy guy's din-din
if we don't do something.
We will do
something--
after I get
the talisman.
Follow me.
But you never want me
to follow you,
and aesop's in
immediate danger.
Jade, we don't
know what power
this talisman
possesses.
If the dark hand
gets it, people
could be in danger.
Oh, so you're ok letting
something that looks
just like uncle get eaten?
Ohh! Where do you
come up with
these things? Huh?
Chan?
I thought I heard
your voice.
Maim him.
Jade: Whoa!
Jackie: Ooh!
Aah!
Ohh!
Ha! Whoo!
Aah!
- Uhh!
Whoo. Grr.
Uhh!
Aah!
Ooh! Aah!
Huh? Whoa!
Uhh!
Ooh! Uncle.
Where?
Eyah!
- Ooh!
Tohru: Ooh!
Tohru!
(Fighting in plane)
Ooh!
Careful!
That one
turns you into
a chocolate bunny.
How did you get
down thereSo fast?
Aah!
Ooh!
MmmPeppy.
Boris,
that braised manatee
you prepared last week
was absolutely exquisite
and the grilled
American condor
on a bed
of fava beans
(Smacking lips)
To die for.
Don't forget
the carrots.
I'll be aft
in the study.
Unh! Unh!
Uhh!
Who's a--
chocolate--
bunny--
now?
Hmm?
Uhh!
Whoa!
Big man
can move.
(Growling)
Whoa!
Something's--aah!
Tohru: Aah!
Jade?
Jade!
Uhh!
Come on.
Come on.
(Meat locker shuts)
Stop!
Heh.
Pretty please?
A stowaway?
Release aesop, you
tortoise-eating creep.
Such a delightful child.
She'll go well with
a nice bernaise sauce,
wouldn't you say, Boris?
(Gasp) What?
Only joking, Princess.
Children are much too common
for my sophisticated palate.
Lock her up
and get on with my dinner.
I'm getting cranky.
Jade! Jade! Jade.
How like--
duh!
(Clanking)
Jade?
Jade!
Jackie, I'm in here.
Whoa. How'd you go
there to here
so fast?
And now we'll save
the tortoise.
See? Slow and steady
wins the race.
But you have
super rabbit speed.
I'm getting
mixed messages here.
Oh--eh--uh--don't be smart.
Whoop!
Valmont,
your men are supposed
to find talismans,
not sell pets.
Perhaps
if you had given
fair consideration
to the advance
I requested,
none of this would
have---
whoa. I did not know
he could do that.
I assure you, shendu,
the rabbit talisman
will be retrieved.
How right you are.
Kitchen's closed.
Uhh!
- Jackie: Come on.
Unh! Ah!
Uhh!
- Eh!
Ohh!
Uh-oh.
Out here?
Ha ha ha.
What's up, doc?
What?
How did you--
I want my dinner.
Whaa!
Whoa!
Jade and doctor: Huh?
Vamoose!
What?
UhWelcome?
I don't have it.
Charge!
Huh? Oh!
Jade: Wahoo!
Ah! Anyone
for leftovers?
Boy: Oh, come on!
A turbo turtle?
Faster than
a speeding rabbit.
No way!
Way!
Yeah, right.
I bet that super
strong ox guy
was there, too.
Jade: El toro? Nah.
That was in Mexico
when I was flying the plane.
Boy:
- Hey, Jackie, do you like
to watch television?
Yes. I learn so many things
on television.
You know, my English
I learned from the TV.
I like education channel,
discovery channel.
Even cartoon
I can learn something.
I want TV.
I'm only in Hong Kong.
I can watch
what's going on in Morocco.
What's going on
South Africa and Europe,
everywhere.
And really learn
a lot of things
I don't know before.
Even training, I watch TV.
TV is my teacher.
I love TV.