L.A. Law (1986) s01e05 Episode Script

1
Previously on L.A.
Law.
If you don't give me a wet one right now,
I'm going to be forced to use force.
Would you consider moving in with me?
Can I just visit for now?
Would you like to see my shower?
I'm getting married in three weeks.
His name is Kevin Crenshaw.
Kevin.
Meet Michael Kuzak.
He's with the Trial Lawyers Association.
What were you trying to prove?
That you could get back at me by trying to
humiliate a decent good man?
Thank you, Mickey.
So much for tax shelters.
Moving along to cases pending.
Arnold, Lewis versus Lewis.
Settled.
Jenkins versus Jenkins.
Settling.
Harper versus Ditto.
Settling.
Yamato versus Ditto.
Settling.
Ditto versus Ditto.
Settling.
All the Dittos are settling.
Sounds like things are going well.
No, not going well.
You see this finger?
You want to know how I did this?
An image Springs to mind.
I jammed it, sweating out my career
frustrations on a basketball court.
Arnold, if you'd like to talk later.
No, thank you, Leland, but a little pep
talk isn't going to do it.
I have a new client coming in, a movie writer-producer,
and I want to solicit her entertainment business.
Arnold, we've been over this territory before.
We're not set up to handle entertainment law here.
But we should be.
Well, we'll take this up at our partner's meeting.
Leland, this is 1986.
Next.
Moving along.
Tony's Toys.
Unfriendly takeover bid by Bennington Industries
against my client's toy manufacturing company.
I assume you'll be able to negotiate some
cushy golden parachutes for your client?
Mr. Covelli doesn't want money or a management contract.
Oh.
What would he like?
Sex?
Drugs?
What he would like is to keep his company.
He builds it from the ground up.
And he knows every worker there.
It would kill him to see it raped and
pillaged by corporate marauders.
Ah, Miss Kelsey, tilting at windmills again.
And here I was under the impression that
you actually wanted to be a partner in this firm.
Assuming I've invited, Douglas, I do.
I'll try and remember that when we vote later this week.
Now, for a little comic relief.
Michael, where do we stand on Harry Finneman's
suit to be stuffed and mounted in his backyard?
For your information, Harry Finneman is suing for his basic
constitutional right to be left alone by the government.
Is this the guy that wants to be
freeze-dried when he croaks?
Yeah, Mike, did you ever see what Roy
Rogers did with Trigger?
Yeah, but Trigger was hairy.
Isn't Mr. Finneman gonna wind up all
wrinkled like a dried-up apricot?
What do they do about the eyes?
Glass?
I believe that's what they did for Trigger.
You might think this is a joke,
folks, but as a constitutional matter,
it bothers the hell out of me to have the
government intruding not only into the
bedrooms of consenting adult citizens, but
also, God forbid, into the graves of dead ones.
I'm leaving.
Well, so much for comic relief.
I've never felt vindictive towards any of
my husbands before, but this is different.
I really want, badly want, Mitchell to suffer,
which is why Cammie Myers insisted I come to you.
Feelings are perfectly understandable, Hillary.
Your husband leaves you for another woman.
No, no, no, no, please.
He messes with some starlet.
No big deal.
But he messes with me.
He has me rewritten and taken off the movie.
That.
For that.
He's going to suffer.
Well, he who suffers most suffers in the pocketbook.
Hmm.
I wonder why Cammie Myers didn't tell me
how incredible looking you are.
Or me, you.
She must be hot for you.
Mm-hmm.
I bet all of your clients are.
Is that how you hurt your hand?
Uh Fighting them off?
No, actually, I was playing basketball.
I bet you have talented hands.
You're so long and tapered.
And that love line.
It's very thick, isn't it?
Arnie?
What?
Maybe you'd like to run through the
schedule of community assets now?
You do have another appointment in ten minutes.
Business intrudes.
Well, it's all here.
Stocks, bonds, bank accounts, the house, cars.
Nothing very tricky except for the two movies.
You mean Galaxy and Rosebush, both due out this month.
You follow the industry.
Galaxy, first draft screenplay written by you.
Totally rewritten by a no-talent studio hack.
And directed by your husband, Mitchell.
Originally budgeted at $12 million,
rumored to have gone $10 over.
More like $13 over.
And then there's Rosebush, written and
produced by you, brought in for just over $3 million.
A sensitive love story.
Beautifully observed, I'm sure.
I'm proud of it.
But will it make money?
Will the 13-year-olds like it?
Probably not.
So then common wisdom would dictate that
if we want to hurt Mitchell financially,
we should get you as big a piece of galaxy
as possible and as little of Rosebush.
I was afraid that you'd say that.
Except that a movie that costs $25 million has to
make at least $75 million before it goes into profits.
What are the odds of that?
Now, on the other hand, a movie that costs
only $3 has to make $9.
So, throwing ancillary rights into the pot, well, you
need a half-decent domestic take, and you're in the black.
If you're saying that I can keep Rosebush
and still punish Mitchell, I think I'm in love.
Serious love.
Do you have them on cassette?
Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna send a messenger to pick them up.
I want to take a look at them for myself.
Then we'll get together again,
give them my thoughts, and we will play.
We'll plan our strategy.
Sound okay?
I can't wait.
Be sure to give Roxanne your parking ticket.
She'll be happy to stamp it.
Gentlemen, please, before the press gets wind of
it, isn't there some way to make this thing go away?
Not my fault, Your Honor.
California Health and Safety Code,
Division 7, dead bodies, Section 7054.
Any person who deposits or
disposes of any human remains except
in a cemetery or by cremation is guilty of a misdemeanor.
A statute which exceeds A statute which exceeds
legitimate police powers, which is why we are asking for an
accelerated trial in this declaratory relief action.
Mr. Kuzak, are you too young to remember candid camera?
No, Your Honor.
Alan Funt isn't behind the curtain.
I'm afraid not, Your Honor.
Well, let's get on with the show.
One last question, Dr. Penrod.
In your expert opinion, does a dead body pose
potential health hazards to the general populace?
Yes, definitely.
Is there any way to eliminate such hazards?
Yes, burial and or cremation of the body.
Thank you.
Dr. Penrod, do you know of any other method of
dealing with a dead body that would serve the same ends?
Not that I'm aware of.
What about mummification?
The Egyptians seem to do just fine.
I truthfully don't know much about mummification.
I see.
What about jator?
I'm not familiar with it.
A Tibetan and Mongolian practice in which
the body is left out to be eaten by birds.
I'm a pathologist, Mr. Kuzak.
I really don't know much about that,
though it sounds pretty morbid.
Well, actually, to a Mongolian, our practice
of embalming and burial would seem morbid.
Objection.
This is an argument, not a question.
Sustained.
Please try to save your argument for later, Mr. Kuzak.
Dr. Penrod, do you know of any health
hazards associated with freeze-drying?
Again, it's not my field.
So what you're saying is it's a matter of ignorance.
Objection.
Rephrase the question.
If I could demonstrate to you,
doctor, that freeze-drying has no
potential health or safety hazard to the
general populace, would then your
professional opinion be that the practice
is no different from burial or cremation?
Yes.
If you could so persuade me, I'd have to change my opinion.
Thank you.
No further questions.
If we get passed over for partner one more time, that's it.
How's your salad?
If we wait another year, we won't even be
marketable anywhere else.
I don't want to go anywhere else.
And they know it, which is how they get
away with keeping you an associate forever.
It's not that terrible, Ann.
It's not like I need the money.
The money is only a symbol of your value.
If they don't make you a partner, it's
because in their eyes you are a glob of spit.
Ed, come on.
I'm eating.
I have told Leland in no uncertain terms
that if they pass me over again,
I'll go somewhere else.
Pretty serious bluff.
I'm not bluffing.
I've made some phone calls.
I'll be packed and out by the end of the month.
If you left, I wouldn't get to spend any time with you.
Damn it, Stuart.
You're doing the same thing with me that
you do with the firm.
What, being happy where I am?
Not being secure enough to know your value
to them or to me.
Really?
Do you know how long it's been since I've
let anyone into my life?
The truth is, and it scares me,
I couldn't picture it without you.
Your Honor, I move for a continuance at this time.
People object, Your Honor.
Just till Friday.
I'm in trial in federal court till then.
Continued until Friday, November 7th.
Your Honor, excuse me.
I have a problem with Friday.
Would it be too much to ask you to enlighten
the court as to the nature of this problem?
I'm, uh, getting married Friday afternoon
in front of Judge Conley.
Well, that's no problem.
I am sure Mr. Maroney would not wish to
stand in the way of true love.
Monday's fine.
Fine.
What?
No honeymoon?
This is a beautiful thing you do only
once, maybe twice in your life.
Tops.
Monday will be fine.
Thank you, your honor.
Well, mazel tov.
And we're in recess.
I got your message.
I thought I'd return it in person.
I wanted to talk to you about the other night.
It shouldn't have happened.
I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry.
We both wanted it to happen.
Who knows?
Maybe if I'd met you sooner.
It's not too late.
Get out of this thing, Gracie.
It's not what you want.
We've been over this before.
I don't want to debate it.
I care about you more than anyone else in the world.
If you do, if you really do, be my friend and wish me
as much happiness in my life as I wish you in yours.
Leland?
You wanted to see me, Stuart?
Oh, yeah.
What about?
Oh, well, you know, I know that there's a meeting
on Thursday to discuss the addition of new partners.
Correct.
Well, I thought that given my tenure with the
firm, a partnership would not be out of the question.
Well, we'll certainly give it a full airing, Stuart.
Thank you, Leland.
I appreciate it.
Is that all?
Well, uh, only that, uh, you know,
I hope you'll keep Irving Lewis in mind.
What about Irving Lewis?
Well, you see, if I were, if I were to
leave the firm, uh, which, which I don't
want to do, I think Irving might think
about taking his business elsewhere, too.
Is that a threat, Stuart?
Oh, God, no, absolutely not.
Leland, uh, well, yeah, technically
speaking, it's a threat, but I wouldn't,
oh, Leland, this is, this is really hard
for me, I, I'm a happy man, basically,
I, I like my work, I, I like my colleagues.
Mm, so I've noticed.
Yeah, I, I, I don't want to leave, I, it's
just that I'm getting too old to be an Indian.
I, I want to be a, a, a chief.
Not everyone in the tribe can be a chief,
Stuart, but your desire to be so is duly
noted, and we'll take it up at the partners meeting.
Thanks.
Look, for whatever it's worth,
if it goes against me, I, I understand
your problems as one man, one vote, but I, I
really, I really hate burdening you with my problems.
Thank you, Stuart.
Well?
Well, I don't know, stated a vigorous, forceful case.
And?
I was a complete wimp.
Oh, good morning, Hillary.
I'm sorry I'm late.
Would you like some coffee?
No, thank you.
Thank you, Roxanne.
Well?
Well, I screened both films.
And I agree.
Galaxy is trash.
It's a low-rent rehash of the last
half-dozen space adventures.
We've seen it before, and we've seen it better.
And mine?
Yours, it's like you.
It's tender, tough-minded, exquisite blend
of sensitivity, street smarts,
very keenly observed characters, and
a very beautiful sense of time and place.
Really?
Really.
You're not just saying that.
Really, I think you've got a potential
very important picture.
You should be very proud.
Thank you.
I only have one tiny suggestion.
What?
Can I ask you a personal question?
Ask.
Do you like sex?
What do you think?
I think that's what's missing in your film.
Ah.
It is not about sex.
It is about 14-year-olds who are not
allowed to be in a relationship.
Coming of age.
Well, when I was 14, I did not come of age
with my clothes on.
I bet you didn't.
You write one more scene without clothes and
you will have every teenager in America lining up.
Trust me.
Five minutes of searching, sensitive, youthful passion.
And this film can cross over from a boutique
specialty item to a broad-based box office winner.
I would love that.
And if you're willing to accept that one little change I
would personally recommend giving up all interest in Galaxy.
All of it?
Sure.
This way there's no mixed emotions.
You can openly cheer for his film to be
the catastrophic failure you really want
it to be while savoring the pleasure of
your fully owned box office bonanza.
I really want to believe you.
Well, you can believe this.
I'm willing to bet my fee against two and
a half points of your movie that I'm right.
If I worked my whole life brick by brick building myself
a beautiful house, no one could take that away from me.
Am I right?
I didn't say this was fair, Mr. Covelli.
Just legal.
Ann?
Hi.
Anything?
They've gone by the book.
Great.
There must be something.
The poison pill.
I don't think so.
What's a poison pill?
It's a provision which basically issues
more shares to the stockholders.
It makes takeover more expensive for them.
Do it.
I doubt if it'll stop them.
Even if it does, we'd be facing a class action suit.
Besides which, your directors would never go for it.
They'll do what I say.
Have you given any thought to how much a
fight like this will cost?
It could break you, Mr. Covelli.
I started with nothing.
I'm not afraid to start over.
What I won't do is lie down and play dead
while someone sticks a gun in my ribs.
We understand your position, Mr. Covelli.
And I promise you, we won't desert you.
I went to five lawyers before you.
I got no chance, they say.
Sell out.
Everyone told me that.
But you, from the first day I met you,
there was a look in your eyes.
All the fat cat lawyers, and you're the
first one willing to get her knuckles bruised.
I like you, lady.
You're a fighter.
I like you a lot.
Basically, it's the same technique you use
to freeze dry a flower.
By the way, can you tell which one of these is real?
No, I can't.
Been freeze-dried for five years.
Would you like to inspect it, your honor?
Mr. Eastman, when did you first become
acquainted with Harry Finneman?
Three months ago.
He came into my lab and asked me if I'd be
willing to freeze-dry him, after he was dead, of course.
Now, what did you say?
Well, I told him that I couldn't do it, that it's illegal.
Mr. Eastman, would freeze-drying Mr. Finneman
pose a health hazard to the general populace?
Objection.
Speculation.
There's no foundation as to expertise.
I believe I have laid a foundation, Your Honor.
Overruled?
No.
There'd be no problem.
I have nothing further.
May I approach the witness?
Yes, you may.
With all due respect, Mr. Eastman, freeze-drying
a flower is not the same as freeze-drying a person.
There's a big difference, isn't there?
True.
Thank you.
Mr. Eastman, is freeze-drying an animal
any different than freeze-drying a person?
No.
Same thing exactly.
First, you take out all the organs,
and you take out the eyes and all the fat,
and then you insect-proof it.
You inject it with some preservatives,
some antioxidants, and you stuff it,
and you pose it, and that's before it ever
gets to the dehydrator, where you leave it
for, well, at Mr. Finneman's weight, four months.
Maybe a little longer, because, you
see, the secret is really in the drawing.
It's got to be long and slow.
Mr. Kuzak.
Your Honor, I have just one more question,
with your permission.
Thank you.
Mr. Eastman, do you know this dog?
Puddles?
Sure.
She's been my best friend for 22 years.
22 years?
That's a long time for a dog to live.
Well, she's been freeze-dried for six of them.
Your Honor.
It's not nearly as voluminous as it would appear.
Once you review the documentation,
I believe the execution can be completed.
That won't be necessary, Mr. Reichman.
We're not signing.
I'm afraid you have no choice.
A poison pill will be adopted and ratified this
afternoon, which will quadruple your takeover costs.
Pardon me, madam, but let's not bluff.
Now, you can't stop us.
We can either do this easy, or we can do it rough.
Your client is attempting to strip Mr. Covelli of a company
that he and his family have devoted their entire lives to.
You may win, sir, but it's going to be so
difficult, so painful, and so expensive.
Believe me when I tell you that the pain
will be yours only.
And as far as the expense is concerned,
I eat companies all the time.
Tony's Toys is just a snack.
What you do, Mr. Stern, is rape.
Then I guess you have two choices.
Fight and get bloodied, or lie back and enjoy it.
I don't appreciate that, sir.
Gordon Stern does not rape.
He's not equipped for it.
Oh, a low blow, sir.
Don't worry.
I can't hurt it if he don't have it.
What's that supposed to mean?
Please, can we get on with the business at hand?
I want to find out what the hell he meant by that.
What I meant is, if you could cut it in the
bedroom, you wouldn't need to do it in the boardroom.
Sit down, Mr. Stern.
Unless you like it with guys.
Is that what you get off on, Mr. Stern?
Shut your mouth.
Get out of my face.
Take off your face.
Hey, hold it.
Hey, sit down.
Get off.
Hold it.
Come on, get up.
Get up.
Come on.
Get up, you spineless fruit.
I can't.
My chest.
I think I'm having a heart attack.
Mr. Covelli.
I call an ambulance.
Oh, my God.
Get that door in, please.
Watch it.
We're coming through here, please.
Clear the way.
What's happening?
Careful now.
Criminal assault, Mr. Stern.
That's what's happening.
He provoked me.
If he dies, manslaughter, not to mention
the civil suit we're filing.
And since you took that swing as chief executive
officer, your big company's on the hook, too.
Tony's Toys is going to eat you alive, mister.
Snack on that.
And as far as I can see, all the assets
are community property.
We've already discussed the house, the automobiles.
What about the two films?
Well, I'm no expert on show business, Mr. Guild,
but what makes sense to me is that we just split.
We split the profits, if any, 50-50.
Actually, seeing as how my client has a
more personal connection with Galaxy and
yours with Rosebush, I thought perhaps we'd
take the Galaxy profits and you'd take Rosebush.
No.
Even up, you mean?
That's ridiculous.
I thought you hated Galaxy.
Galactic garbage.
Garbage?
I bared my soul on that picture, lady.
And when the public sees what I
put I've seen you bare your soul,
not to mention everything else,
and believe me, it's not a pretty sight.
Oh, you wanted to speak.
You didn't see her before the nose job.
There was enough left over for two chairs and an ottoman.
Very sensitive.
You have.
I wonder if I might engage with my client privately.
Certainly.
Just watch out for your wallet.
This will just be a minute.
Well, a minute's about as long as he's good for.
What are you doing for dinner tonight?
I was planning on having you.
Okay, skip lunch.
How's your finger?
Better.
I've got something for you to put on it
that'll make it feel much better.
Mr. Guild, emotions aside, I would be in breach
of my fiduciary duty if I accepted your proposal.
Well, we might be willing to make some
further financial concessions.
Such as?
Um, the tax-free muni bonds.
Again, Mr. Guild, I know little about this
movie stuff, but the market research
indicates the galaxy could earn $100 million,
more than 10 times the potential of Rosebush.
Market research?
Your research is hardly reliable.
But what if I were to ignore it and it became a reality?
I might be guilty of malpractice.
Give it to him.
I don't care if it makes $2 billion.
It still stinks.
And I want to be free of the stench.
You want stench?
Take a whiff of Rosebush.
Shut up.
Please, please.
Look, please.
It is my job to effect financial parity in this settlement.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Perhaps if you took the house, too.
Even with the art collection and all of its other
contents, the value would only be three to four million.
Take it, for God's sakes, and let's be done with this.
I will not give away Galaxy.
You'd sue me later.
What else is there?
The condo in Aspen.
Ah, you've gone too far.
All right.
We're back to square one.
All right.
The muni bonds, the home, its contents,
and the condo in Aspen.
Take it or leave it.
Done.
Then we have a deal?
I'll messenger the papers over for signature.
You.
You were phenomenal.
You were fabulous.
Well, I hope my partners think so.
With the deal we've struck, it's going to
be a while before I get paid.
Well, here's a little advance right now.
Mr. Gertz, aside from being president of the U.S.
Association for Funeral Directors and Mortuaries,
you also personally own three funeral parlors.
Is that correct?
Correct.
Mr. Gertz, the funeral business is pretty lucrative.
Isn't it?
We do all right?
Well, better than all right, I would think.
It's the only business I can think of that
we're all going to need sooner or later.
What are you getting at?
Well, if the current laws were to be
changed, it could hurt you guys pretty bad.
You know, I'm getting sick and tired of the
abuse everyone heaps on the funeral profession.
And my participation here today as a witness for the
state has nothing to do with either business or money.
You still haven't answered my question, Mr. Gertz.
If everyone in the world wanted to be
freeze-dried, I could go into
freeze-drying, buy up all the dehydrators,
and literally Bury the small-timers like Eastman.
So, what you're saying, then, is that
aside from the tie to tradition,
you really have no objection to freeze-drying?
Don't twist my words around, young man.
I said that's what I could do, but I never would.
Because as a God-fearing American and the
father of three children, I object to
freeze-drying as an affront to a decent society.
First, it's that man, and maybe it's my next-door neighbor.
I do not want and I will not have my
children exposed to something like that.
Well, maybe they should be.
Don't you think maybe it's time that all of us in this
country stop trying so hard to hide from the reality of death?
The reality of death is not freeze-drying,
ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
That's what the Bible says.
And in denying the natural order of the
birth and death cycle, freeze-drying is
nothing less than an abomination, an offense against God.
And you, sir, are a blasphemer.
How dare you judge me?
How about let's take a little recess?
All of these from yesterday here are supposed to be filed
in a folder so that we can day by day look up the numbers.
Happy Halloween.
Happy Halloween.
Meow.
You, uh, you wanted to see us?
Yes, Leland.
Eh, Stuart.
How's Mr. Covelli?
He's out of danger.
Uh, fortunately, as these things go,
it was a pretty mild attack.
Well, that's good news.
And, in consideration of our agreeing not
to file a civil assault suit, uh,
Stern has completely withdrawn his takeover attempt.
That's very nice.
Happy endings are few and far between.
My compliments on your handling of the entire matter.
Thank you.
Please, sit down.
I know you've been anxious about the
results of our meeting this morning.
Yes, we are.
Well, let me end the suspense with my
heartfelt congratulations.
You are both hereby tendered offers of
partnership in the firm, and I hope you'll accept.
Well, speaking only for myself, I'm really quite moved.
I'd just like to express thank you.
I accept.
Me too, Leland.
Thanks.
I'll leave it to Douglas to fill you in on the particulars.
And as I'm sure you'd both like a moment's
privacy to more adequately express your
mutual pleasure, I will take this
opportunity to excuse myself.
For your signature.
Great outfit.
Very sexy.
Thank you.
Okay, I give up.
What'd I do?
Nothing.
Rocks, you're treating me like a
pan full of pan full of used kitty litter.
What's the matter?
Rocks?
How could you let yourself get involved with that woman?
What woman?
Hillary Mishkin.
It is totally unprofessional.
I'm not involved with her.
Then what was that kiss I walked in on?
Oral testimony.
Huh?
Rocks, I'm representing her in a divorce.
She undresses you every time she looks at you, the slut.
Rocks!
I don't like it any more than you do.
It makes me feel used.
Dirty, sort of.
Then why do you do it?
Because these women are in pain.
They're so vulnerable, powerless,
rejected, low self-esteem.
And they look to me for friendship and support.
Sometimes they need something more,
like a kiss to make them feel feminine again.
Is that so terrible?
I guess not.
Believe me, I get no thrill from it.
But how do I say no without being an insensitive jerk?
Oh, I'm the insensitive jerk.
I got possessive and jealous.
I'm sorry.
Hey, you're my pussycat.
Don't you forget it.
Oh, Arnie, sometimes I forget what a good man you are.
Get out of here.
Wait, give me a kiss.
Mr. Finnaman, if you would, describe your health.
It stinks.
Could you be a little more specific than that?
I have cardiomyopathy.
I see.
And what's the prognosis?
Well, I had a transplant, which they won't give me.
It's incurable and degenerative.
Mr. Finnaman, I know how painful this must
be to contemplate.
But have your doctors told you how much
longer you're going to be in the hospital?
Do you have to live?
Doctors.
You're interested?
Ask them.
Your Honor, you have before you medical
records attesting to the fact that Mr.
Finnaman has less than four months to live.
And you have no right, no damn right,
to tell me I can't be freeze-dried.
Mr. Finnaman, what is your objection to being buried?
No one's going to stop me, you know,
a damn black box six feet on the ground.
Well, cremation would solve that problem, wouldn't it?
Well, how'd you like to be incinerated
with all your flesh roasted off you?
Which brings us to freeze-drying.
Which not one, not one of your damn so-called experts
has proven for one second that there's anything wrong with.
Mr. Finnaman, if you can, could you tell the court
why it is that being freeze-dried is so important to you?
Why I want to be freeze-dried is my business.
If I want to sit out on a bench under my
gazebo so I can see my swimming pool,
my tennis court, my house, who the hell am I hurting?
If I want to feel the rain on my face, feel the
warmth of the sun, just let the birds poop all over me.
Who's damn business is this?
Who's?
Who's?
Who's damn business is this?
Under the circumstances, Mr. Kuzak, Mr. Spitzer,
I'd like to meet with all the principals and chambers.
I'm frankly at a loss here.
If I should decide against Mr. Fenneman's suit
for declaratory relief, there are grounds for appeal.
You're damn right there are.
Likewise, if I were to find for the plaintiff.
Now, inasmuch as I am merely your guard
and variety superior court judge,
and not learned at hand, and insofar as
time is of the essence, isn't there some
way we can navigate our way out of this legal mess?
It's their suit, Your Honor.
Our hands are tied.
Mr. Kuzak?
I believe my client is adamant in his
pursuit of relief, Your Honor.
How old are you, Mr. Fenneman?
Sixty-four.
Well, I'm on the back nine myself, and while I'm
not crazy about the thought of dying, it's a fact of life.
I know I have to accept.
You spare me the lecture.
You're not the one who's dying.
Why can't I do what I want?
It's my right.
What about your family's rights, Mr. Finneman?
You have this idea in your head that you're going to
be freeze-dried and stuck on a bench in your backyard.
All right, let's imagine just for the hell
of it I said, OK, go ahead.
What about the people you're leaving behind?
Your children, your wife.
How is she supposed to have a party with you out there?
What if she wants to bring a date home?
Or what if she decides to sell the house?
Who'd want to buy it with you sitting out
there under the gazebo?
No one's going to sell that house from under me.
The point is, Mr. Finneman, you're
refusing to accept the reality of death.
The fact that the world will go on about
its business without you, that your wife
will have a life without you, your
children will grow old without you.
Oh, will you shut up?
That if only you can be freeze-dried,
you can cheat the grim reaper.
Leave him be.
Stop badgering him.
I'm just trying to understand, Mrs. Finnaman.
I have to make a decision.
Help me out here, Mr. Finnaman, will you please?
I need to know why it's so important to you.
When I was a boy, I used to lie in bed in the pitch dark,
wide awake, trying not to
think about it, but I couldn't stop.
I'd imagine myself dead in a box six feet
under the ground, total darkness,
straining to see, straining to hear.
I can't move my hands more than an inch above my face.
My brain's screaming, let me out of here.
Knowing that I was trapped.
Dead forever.
Yet a million years from now, it'll be
starting to be dead forever.
I'd panic.
Start to whimper.
Mrs. Fenneman, you've been silent throughout.
What's your feeling about all this?
It's his life.
If it's what he wants, he should have it.
Is it what you want?
No, but I'm not afraid like he is.
If it was up to you, Mrs. Fenneman, what would you do?
If it was up to me?
I would
die with him.
Hey, hey, hey, no, no, don't say that.
So, so that we could be together, baby boy.
That's why you're so afraid.
You always hated being alone.
I'm so scared.
Why do I have to die?
It's not fair.
It's not fair.
Life is not fair, sweet boy.
Life is just life.
Mr. Fenneman.
Mr. Fenneman.
In my own mind, I haven't yet decided this case.
But given the issues in question here,
what I'd like to do, if it's agreeable
with everybody, is set aside your complaint for now.
It's fine with me.
Mr. Fenneman.
He'll do whatever you want.
Burial, cremation, whatever.
Take your time.
Talk it over.
And God bless you, sir.
Trick or treat, counselor.
One of the both.
Excuse me.
Kevin and Grace, I can't tell you what a
privilege and a privilege it is for me to
be joining the two of you in matrimony on this day.
And I can only hope I'll have the
privilege and pleasure of swearing in the
bride as municipal court judge of the 7th district.
Thank you.
Now to the matter at hand.
Do you, Kevin Crenshaw, take this woman, Grace Van Owen
Excuse me.
I hope I'm not too late.
Excuse me, I think you're looking for the
Wallerstein party.
It's on the 9th floor.
Uh, actually, I'd like to have a few words
with Miss Van Owen.
It is still Van Owen, isn't it?
Look, pal, whoever you are It's all right.
This will only be a moment.
What?
I'm in the middle of getting married.
Just tell me that that's the guy that you
want to spend the rest of your life with.
The rest of your life, Gracie?
Just tell me that.
I'm out of here, and I'll never bother you again.
Look, I don't I don't know who you are, but if you
don't leave here right now, I'm going to call the sheriff.
Gracie, I know this is a hell of a time to
say this, but I'm in love with you.
Gracie, do you want me to throw this guy out of here?
Just give me a minute, Kevin.
I don't know.
I'm sorry, Kevin.
Mommy, Daddy, I'm so sorry.
Well, let's go before I change my mind.
Hey, yo, eight-man, Leon's my name and
photography's my game.
How about a snapshot of the bride and groom, huh?
Definitely.
Ten bucks, my man.
Ten bucks?
You got any cash?
No.
Forget it.
No pockets.
So, uh
What's it gonna be with us, Kuzak?
I don't know.
I thought maybe
Santa Barbara.
I didn't mean just tonight.
There's something you have to know about me, Grace.
I'm probably not as good at planning the future as you are.
But no big deal, right?
I mean You probably had to cancel a dinner date.
I love you, Grace.
And I'm just happy to be with you.
Are you happy?
It's funny.
You don't look very happy.
No.
I love you.
Big Ape.