Mr. D (2012) s01e05 Episode Script

1
OK, so you will copy this down.
No talking please.
It's going to be on the test,
so you might want
to pay attention.
Why is that?
Hang on a minute.
OK, it's facing me.
- Sir, I, uh, I think you just
- Ben, please. Nope, nope.
Like that
should go like that
Tell Trudy I need
25 copies of this,
and tell her my machine is broken.
Sir, the machine isn't broken,
you just don't know how to use it.
You ever try to cut
your hair in the mirror?
It's the same, that's what
that reminded me of, trying to
Don't need that on.
- Sir, please
- OK, hear that?
What song is that? Made it up,
you wouldn't know it.
It's just right here.
Broken.
Welcome to Bully Awareness Week.
Let the awareness begin now.
Need a hand there, Robert?
- I am not!
- I am not?
That's what you should do when
you're confronted by a bully.
- That doesn't even make sense.
- Not what?
- Sir, you yelled at me.
- I didn't yell at you, Robert.
With all due respect,
you took a tone.
This week is very important to me.
I was bullied
in elementary school,
and again in high school,
a little bit at university,
and frankly the odd time
here at work I'm bullied.
This one time in high
school I was chased by
20 students from the
feeder school next door.
Grade threes!
I didn't know what they were capable of,
I think I blacked out.
I just ran and ran and ran. But
now thanks to the Wooly Bullies
I can confront and deal with any
bullying situation that might arise.
Wait, you said you were
in high school
when you were chased by
by grade threes?
Yeah, but by 20 of them, Gerry.
20 of anything can kill you.
No, mice. 20 mice
would not kill you.
- Simon?
- If they're organized.
- What do you mean "if they're organized"?
- OK, all right.
The video, please?
Isolation, shame, I am not.
I need shelter
from your word daggers.
I am! I am me!
They're even more impressive
live, you won't believe it.
- Wow.
- OK, sorry, sir.
We can't be doing this for real,
showing this to the kids
for Bully Awareness Week?
Yes, Mr. Duncan, this is
what we're gonna show the kids.
Unless of course you have a better idea,
maybe you can come up with your own
- anti-bullying project.
- OK, I will, I will do something.
I look forward, as I'm sure we all
do to seeing your anti-bullying project
in a mere two days from now,
but I'm sure for a big tough guy like you
that'll be no problem
to pull together.
Yeah, I will
I will have something.
- OK, all right, great. Look, everybody
- Gentlemen
Simon, sit down please.
All right, everybody,
now let's get out there, let's try and
reach these kids before it's too late.
Teach hard, everybody.
Did you know it's
Bully Awareness Week?
And I have been asked to do
a presentation
at the bully assembly,
which is a bit awkward
because I was a bully
in school, OK?
Most star athletes were, so it's
not something I'm proud of.
What kind of things did you do?
I would take candy from this kid
Josh's lunch everyday,
I would take notes
from Beverly's locker,
I would just take them.
Sir, it sounds more like you
were a thief than a bully.
Hmm Oh,
I bullied a kid, Patrick.
I didn't steal anything
from him. Actually do you
do you have an uncle,
an Uncle Patrick?
- Um, not that I know of.
- Any relatives?
No -Hmm, bet you do. OK.
Sir, why don't we do one of
those "It gets better" videos?
That went viral
and the whole world saw it.
That's one of those
online gay videos that
- I've seen that.
- That would be good, sir.
- Gay people get bullied a lot!
- Yes, that's what we're gonna do.
Thank you, Sheila!
All right, we've got it,
take out your books.
- It does get better. Sh
- I'm I'm not gay, sir.
When you're ready, not now.
I know
- No, I'm really not.
- When you're ready, I get it.
I hear ya.
I hear ya!
So I'll see you tonight then?
OK, bye-bye.
Aw
So sorry you had to get
all caught up in that.
- What are you talking about?
- The phone conversation I was just having.
What a great girl I met this week.
Yeah I wasn't
really paying attention.
We were making
dinner plans just now.
Hmm -Speaking of which,
we should have dinner with you
and Craig some night.
You want to have dinner with us?
Yeah, girlfriend's
quite the cook, I think.
- Girlfriend?
- Mmm-hmm, Joanna.
The ole ball and chain.
You're talking about
the girl you just met?
- Oh yeah, but things are escalating quickly.
- Gotcha.
This thing has a train off the rails. Look
how fast she responds to my texts. Watch.
- Hey, guys!
- Hey, how's it goin'?
Good. Listen, I'm doing
something for the bully assembly.
Mmm-hmm -Do bullies always
beat up kids that they bully?
Or is it just verbal?
From your experience, is it physical too?
Oh, um, I think it can be both.
- You don't know, though?
- I'm not 100%.
OK, think back and see if you can
remember and then let me know.
- It would be helpful, it's for the kids.
- Uh, yes, I will try.
OK.
History was full of bullies.
Stalin, '74 Flyers.
Group of bullies.
Napoleon, who was very short.
Short people aren't
usually bullies, so irony.
For the video I'm doing
for the school,
I'd like to know if any of you
have ever been bullied?
OK, hold on one sec, Lucy.
All right, tell us your
bullying story, go ahead.
When I was little,
people made fun of me
because they said my dog
wasn't a real dog.
OK, that's just the story,
though. That's not a
That's they're not bullying
you, what kind of dog was it?
- A poodle.
- A poodle.
That's not a
Hold on, let me just
get some of that laughter.
Well, that's not a real dog Lucy, OK?
That's why they made fun of you.
Did they make fun
of you for anything else?
No, sir, just the poodle stuff.
No nickname, nothing nothing silly?
No? OK.
Nothing there's nothing?
All right, one story.
Tell you what, I'm going to run
to the office for a second.
I don't want to hear any talking.
If anyone talks when I'm gone,
you have to kiss Edward on
the lips when I come back.
Ew!
- Where is it?
- Uh, I don't have it.
Hey, what are you doing?
Do that again, that was
do that again.
- Excuse me?
- I don't want him to do it again.
Excuse me, I want you
to video tape this.
- But I have to go to class.
- I'll give you a note.
Do it again. Action!
- Where is it?
- Cut. That was terrible.
OK, go, go, go, go, go, wait.
Just let him get out of here, go.
This might do something. OK, go.
No, keep it, you're my camera boy.
You're going to follow me,
you're going to film everything.
OK? Did you see the fear?
It was powerful.
Let's go! Come on.
Bobbi? Have to cancel
our dinner, I'm afraid.
Me and the wife are in a bit
of a doozy right now.
So, we'll reschedule, OK? Women!
- Trudy.
- Gerry.
I have a proposition for ya.
You give me the medical records
for all the grade five students
and I will bring some friends
to your band's next gig.
All right, here you go.
We perform on the 14th
and I will see you there.
OK, that was easy.
Every teacher gets one at
the beginning of the year.
- So it's not secret information?
- No, it's crucial information.
- And everyone has it?
- That's correct.
And I didn't have to
promise the band thing?
- That's correct.
- But I still gotta go?
That's correct.
Bye.
All right, here's some stuff
to help us with the video.
Miranda, allergic to gluten?
Ah, that's nothing, boring.
Oh! Here's a good one.
Jordan, stand up.
Jordan is allergic to sheep.
- How do you fall asleep at night?
- Yeah, what are you? A freak?
OK, no. He is not
a freak, Stephan.
You went too far. You're a freak.
And you're adopted. There! OK?
How would that make you feel if
I were to say something like that.
- I was adopted, sir.
- What?
You were not adopted.
"Stephan Sinclair recently
found out he was adopted
and struggles with this"
OK.
All right, buddy. Hey, that's OK.
- Tell him he's a freak.
- You're a freak.
- Say it again.
- Sit down, freak.
- Sit down, freak, yeah!
- Loser.
OK, too far again, see?
See what happened there?
Too far again. Did you get all that?
Did you get the sadness?
And him standing?
Pick up, pick up, pick up.
Patrick!
Hey, uh, this is, uh,
Gerry Duncan. Yes, that Gerry.
No, Patrick, don't hang up,
please. Listen, Patrick,
I'd like you to meet me at
Barrel's this Friday at 7:00.
Well, I'll explain everything then,
but I really important that you meet me.
OK, thank you so much.
All right, see you then.
OK, kids, listen up. Mr. Duncan has
something that he wants to share with you.
- Just make it quick, OK?
- All right, everybody stand up.
Everybody, hello.
I need, uh, two captains.
OK, yup,
and the young man right there.
You are our captains,
we are going to pick teams
just as you would if we were gonna
play basketball. You can go first.
- Uh, Joey.
- Yeah, that's who I'd pick first, watch this.
- Can I pick Ms. Galka?
- You can pick either one, we're both
OK, I get it, girl picks girl.
OK! I'm in, available.
Apparently Yeah, him, me?
OK, let's who's he pointing at?
I'm in. Should be come
Gotta be clear, guys,
who you're OK
Right? Am I right?
No brainer, Gordon.
- We'll take Gordon.
- Yeah.
Well, I guess we'll
take Mr. Duncan then.
Obviously you're gonna
You seriously think Gordon is a
better basketball player than me?
- Never seen you play.
- You don't need to see
Yeah, we gotta get back
to class, but I think what
Mr. Duncan is trying to teach us
is a little something about bullying
and the loneliness that
must be felt from being
a last pick, so let's
give this guy a hand.
OK, let's play then.
I got my team,
I will cover Gordon
and I will cover Ms. Galka.
I will cover I don't even need
my team, that doesn't
You know what?
We don't have time. This isn't no time.
You know what?
Light jog around the school, you guys.
- Let's go, pick it up.
- What were you thinking?
- Come on, Gordon, you're leading the pack there.
- Don't film this.
- But you said to roll.
- But there's sun now.
There was no sun earlier,
it blocks the light.
Can't have light. Come on.
Thanks for coming.
And as I said, we are shooting
a movie here at the school
and all of you are gonna
be in the movie.
That's right,
you're gonna be stars.
What the movie about, sir?
You and you. Everybody.
You're all in the movie.
It's about bullying.
It's a movie about bullies and how they
pick on people that have things different.
Then we're gonna show it
to the school.
Then, the best part
We're gonna put it on YouTube
and the whole world will see it.
You'll be the faces of bullying.
Hello? Did you hear what I said?
OK, if you go,
you're not in the movie.
Ginger?
Now we have no movie.
Hey, Gerry. I'm so excited
to see your movie.
Yeah, no movie, change of plans,
switchin' it up.
- Oh, what are you going to do?
- Not sure yet.
But you're still
gonna do something,
like, unprepared in front
of the entire school?
Well, I still have time to prepare,
but you and I would stop talking,
'cause it's
I'm just going through stuff.
- Right.
- So gotta move, gotta move.
Go away! Name caller.
I am not, fear is a jaguar,
sleek and hungry.
You gotta be kidding me.
Sturdy and beautiful.
How am I supposed to follow this?
- I am.
- I am me.
Amazing. Come here.
Just life-changing.
- Get off.
- The Wooly Bullies.
Let's each take a moment
to marinate in the
in the new feelings we're experiencing
after witnessing that spectacle.
- Turn his mic off.
- And while you're doing that,
here's Mr. Duncan with his
anti-bullying video presentation.
Thank you, sir. Thank you.
I did have a video planned,
but things didn't work out.
But I have a message.
How many of you know what that is?
That is the gang symbol of
the gang I was in as a child.
Called "The Swans."
There was four of us,
we would create havoc,
pick on people,
people would come at us,
we would defend, and we would hurt them.
I know that's wrong, but I also
know that we all have imperfections.
I have eczema right there.
Take a good look, go ahead. Ha-ha.
Ha-ha. Doesn't hurt my feelings.
Sure, I disguise it,
but I know it's there.
You have a big zit I can see,
massive.
Right there, that guy,
on his face. Up higher, higher.
Nope, higher up, a little higher,
this way and then over, across.
Right there, feel it?
OK? It's huge.
So what? People will
make fun of that.
Who has a big nose?
You do, that guy right there.
Look at it. So what
he has a massive nose?
So what he has a giant pimple
protruding from his face?
We don't make fun of that.
Doesn't matter.
What matters is the people
that know you and care about you
and love you are the ones that
matter. That's all that matters.
Don't let anybody bully you, OK?
Doesn't matter what they say.
You can cut your hair,
that pimple will go away,
and your your nose
I'll leave you with an inspirational
quote from a very famous movie.
When people pick on me,
I think of it.
It's from the movie Rudy:
"Ru-dy, Ru-dy, Ru-dy."
Remember that.
No more bullying.
Thank you, stay seated.
Thank you, stay seated.
Thank you.
I assume you finished,
Mr. Duncan? So
thanks for whatever it is
that was.
- I nailed that.
- Um
Since Mr. Duncan was unable to
complete his video presentation,
we're suddenly faced with a pretty
significant window of available time.
Which is why it gives me
enormous full body pleasure
to welcome to the stage,
once again, the Wooly Bullies!
Thanks, everyone, for all
of your efforts this week.
I'm also delighted to announce
that the Wooly Bullies
have already agreed
to come back next year.
Awesome!
Oh, it's the missus. Joanna.
- Hey, bumble bee, everything OK?
- Uh, Robert, can I speak to you in private?
Of course. What is it?
Is everything OK?
Listen, um, I don't think
this going to work out
and I just wanted
to tell you in person.
I'm just not ready
for something serious
and you seem
to be moving pretty quickly.
Joanna, I'm not
going to change for you.
I know you want this,
but you can't have it, OK?
"I am lovable,
I am a rugged flower."
- He's doing it.
- "Sturdy and beautiful.
I am me."
OK, take care.
Did you see her face?
She's a mess, the poor thing.
You know, she left so quickly,
it was kind of hard to see
- if she felt anything.
- It feels so weird to be single again.
Hey, man, shouldn't you have on a
red rose so he can recognize you?
You're funny.
- Gerry Duncan.
- Hey, Patrick.
Oh, you brought everybody. Well, thanks.
Why don't we have a seat?
Um, I think I'll stand.
So, uh, what is it you
wanted to see me about?
- Oh, God, are you sick?
- Am I sick? No, why would I be sick?
Oh, I just assumed that
you'd heard I was an oncologist,
- and, uh, wanted to see me.
- Oh, no, I did not hear that,
and my eyes are good, so
except at night, when I drive.
Please sit down
and I'll tell you everything.
I'll just be
a couple minutes honey, OK?
Dad, is this the jerk
you were telling us about?
Ah, Clayton, you little scamp.
Well, actually, uh,
I wanted to apologize to you.
For all the things I did and said
when we were in grade school,
and it wasn't right.
So, in a lot of ways, I am a jerk.
You're a waiter? What a loser!
My dad's an oncologist!
Now, Clayton, come on. You
go out with your mom there, OK?
I already said
I'm here to apologize.
I get you're sticking up
for your father.
That's nice, and I'm not a waiter.
I'm a teacher at Xavier Academy.
We went through
the doctor thing already, so
It's going really well.
Anyway, Patrick,
I just wanted to
Um, small correction,
I kind of like to go by Dr. Kayka.
- Dr. Kayka.
- I prefer that.
Patty Kayka, that was
that was what we called you.
Patty Kayka. Oh, God.
That was wrong,
I feel bad about that too.
You should feel bad,
you're a loser!
He hears everything.
How can he not with the massive
ears sticking out of his head?
- And we're gonna go.
- Yeah, pin the ears back.
It was a joke,
it was a joke, Patty Kayka!
- Bye, loser!
- You're the loser.
Wait till girls see
those two wings sticking
out of the side of your head!
Enjoy drinking loveless and alone.
- That was nice, really nice.
- He started it.
I saw the kids ears when he
walked in, I never said a word.
- Yeah, there ya go, champ.
- What are you doin' with that, and a straw?
- When do I use a straw?
- Mango Madness, it's new.
A lot of the older female
regulars here really like it.
- Yeah, you're hilarious.
- I'm pretty funny.
Mm. It is good,
I can see why they like it.
That's awesome,
I hope you got more back there.