Mr Loverman (2024) s01e05 Episode Script

1
"Who alone suffers,
suffers most in the mind."
That's King Lear.
Preach, man. Preach.
Buffalo Stance by Neneh Cherry
Who's looking good today?
Who's looking
good in every way?
No style rookie
You better watch,
don't mess with me
No moneyman could win my love
It's sweetness
that I'm thinking of ♪
You know, your beauty
is like a time machine
transporting me back to an age
when magnificent black
women reigned supreme.
Amina.
Nefertiti.
Kandake Amanirenas
of the Kingdom
..of Kush.
But there's no-one I would
rather devote my loyal service to
more than you.
Hey, Mum.
Just up in my room, OK?
SHE EXHALES SHARPLY Oh, God.
What is it you want, Barry?
You know what I want.
Goodbye, Barry.
Oh, Lord.
I was very clear about that.
They know what's
expected of them,
so if they don't
adhere to the options,
we'll just have to
schedule another meet.
Look, let's talk about this tomorrow
when I'm back in the office, OK?
OK. All right. Bye. Bye-bye-bye.
What are you doing here?
You know, Mum wasn't fee
I mean, I wasn't feeling great,
so I decided to come back home.
Oh. OK, well, let me just
You don't feel too hot.
Maybe I'll just give
Dr Lee a quick call.
Mum, don't.
I'm fine. Yeah? Yeah. Sure?
All right. Well, I'm working
from home today anyway,
so I can keep an eye
on you You know what?
The paracetamol I
popped is starting to work,
so I think I'll probably go in.
Are you sure? Yes.
Do you want a lift? No.
I mean, I don't mind. I'm fine,
Mum. Thank you. Goodbye.
Really? Daniel?
It Was Over Before It Even
Began by Stephane Huguenin
Oh, what this?
Excuse me?
Huh.
What's all this?
You got a date or something?
As a matter of fact, I have.
It was over
before it even began
With whom?
With my most favourite
man in the whole wide world.
What? What are you
looking at me like that for?
Well, soon you'll be off to
uni. To Oxford, God willing.
Starting a whole new life.
And where will I be?
Abandoned and alone.
Oh, God, not this again.
So until then, until then,
I intend to spend
good quality time
with my one and only son, who
I raised all alone, all by myself.
So sit.
Are you seriously trying
to make me have therapy?
Don't be so ridiculous.
All the parents go on
dates with their kids.
Um, no.
They don't.
It's all the rage.
Rage being the emotion
felt after the shame, no doubt.
It was over
before it even began
Yeah
Well, this is nice, isn't it?
Since the day I
saw her walkin' around
I know you never
meant to hurt me ♪
No.
I'm sorry, but if you
want a date so bad, then,
well, it's time you went out
and found yourself a man.
I never found all
the words to tell you ♪
Morning, beautiful.
I made you some breakfast.
Uh, you shouldn't have.
It's the least I could
do after last night.
No, really, you shouldn't have.
There's about a week's
worth of shopping on that tray.
No. Besides, I've
got a lot of work to do.
I really need to
crack on this morning.
I've got things to do,
businesses to build, so
OK. Yeah. OK. Thank you.
I'll just put my
clothes on, then.
Grazie.
Um
It's Ted. Ted.
Ted. I knew that.
It's really, really nice
to meet you, Ted.
Enjoy your breakfast.
Thank you. I will.
Oh
Morris?
It's OK.
I'm here.
What do you want, Maxine? Oh!
Come on, Daddy's girl. Oh.
What's up?
Look, I'm going to need some
help drawing up a business plan.
No, do you know what? I've got
a lot on my mind at the moment
with work and Daniel.
Do you know what? I might give
Dr Lee a call because he has been
under the weather.
Oh, Donna, please, I
really need your help.
I don't know where to start.
All right. What did you say?
So I was thinking
that if we open up
Ooh! Whoa! Whoa
Let me see. No!
No, no! Whoa, let me see this.
Get off! MAXINE SHRIEKS
Give it give it back!
No, stop! Maxine
Oh! Honest
I think this is great. This is
great because, personally,
I don't know how you've
lasted so long without, you know,
being seen to! This is good.
If I need help finding the local
STI clinic, I know who to call.
Oh, really? Slut shaming?
Well, if the shoe fits.
Even Cinderella should have sampled
a few more balls before settling.
Come on, D, let me help you.
OK. OK, great.
Jesus! You don't ask
for much, do you? What?
Criteria.
"A Caribbean man or of
Caribbean descent" Mm-hm.
"..with no children from
previous relationships."
Oh, come on. Yes, of course.
"Must be very
intelligent and educated
"to at least degree level." Yep.
"Tall, ideally six-foot-plus,
"of muscular build
and without a potbelly."
Right. Did you
need to put that in?
Yes, because he needs
to go gym, at least.
"Handsome, but not so
handsome other women will chase"?
MAXINE CHUCKLES D, come on.
Do you not think you're being a
tad excessive, maybe? Well
You know what they say - you've
got to crawl before you can walk.
Don't you think I've done
enough of that already?
Anyway, do you know
what? Let's just forget it.
No, no. Come on,
come on, come on, look.
Not every man is going
to be Frankie, yeah?
You've got to put
yourself out there.
Let's carpe these DMs.
Oh. Oh, you got matches!
SHE GASPS Ah-ha! No,
you did not just put that.
Oh, come on! No! Oh,
live a little. It's fine. There.
See how you feel. You
might change your mind.
Mm-hm. Mm-hmmm!
Donna.
It's lovely to meet you.
Oh, thanks.
Can you transfer my
drinks to the table, please?
No problem, sir.
Would you? Yeah.
You look amazing.
Thank you.
Don't look too bad yourself.
As we say in Yoruba -
It's good to try new things.
Mm. You're African?
Nigerian? Well, my parents are.
What about you? I'm Antiguan.
Oh, fungee and pepperpot.
Oh! Spicy.
OK. Yes, that's right.
No.
No, no.
No, no.
Oh, Barry, Barry, Ba
Jesus Christ, Barrington.
Goodnight, Baz.
Goodnight, Morris.
You have always
been my Morris.
OK. A good hearted man, eh?
A special man.
A sexy, sexy man.
A history-loving man.
A man of many moods.
Yeah?
And a drinking man.
A man with whom I can
be myself completely.
You about to burst into song?
I might, I might, I might, I might,
because I want to sing your name
into the night.
You see, that rhymes.
Well, um
..you forgot
soon-to-be-divorced man
..going back to his
one-bed bedsit alone.
Hey, hey.
Don't you know you free?
You free, and it makes
you a richer man than most.
Far richer man than me.
Eh?
You think so?
I think so.
I'm in social care.
Well, I work in social care.
Do you enjoy it? Pays the bills.
I like to think that what I
do is important, anyroad.
Makes a bit of difference
in some way, at least.
Mm, I hear that. What
about you? What do you do?
Doctor. Well, consultant.
Wow. OK. What kind?
Gynaecologist.
Oh.
What made you choose to do that?
Was it, like, some weird teenage
fantasy, looking at muffs all day?
Well, it's not all day.
You know, we've got the fun of
X-rays and lunchtime seminars.
No, but seriously, what made
you choose that particular field?
You're funny.
Mr Walker.
Miss Merle?
Are you that?
Oh, Lord, what a
sight for sore eyes.
Is everything all right?
Oh, yes. Yes, yes,
Miss Merlie Merle.
I'm very good.
I'm just, um
I'm a likkle locked out
right now, but it's nothing
that a good kick to the hinges or
some tap-tapping on the window
panes wouldn't fix.
But I dare not do it.
Perchance old Bobby
Blue will come through here
and mistake me for a burglar,
thus forsaking me not only
my liberty, but very possibly
also my life.
Haven't lost your taste
for the dramatic, I see.
Well, you know what they say -
all the world's a stage. Mm.
Well, let's get you back inside
before it's your final curtain call.
For true? Mm.
Step aside, Uncle. Uh-huh.
Oh Chichorina Andrea
Litkei, Ervin Litkei
In your eyes I seek
Lies the promise of ♪
Look at that.
Come on in.
That is amazing.
Still enjoying your
cooking, I see.
Well, it don't look good,
but it taste amazing.
Try it. You should try some.
I'm all right, ta.
No, really. Try some.
Well, Miss Merle,
I owe you big time.
You owe me?
Are you serious,
after what you did for me?
It's a long time in the past.
Still. It's the
least I could do.
Do you want a little, um
..something-something?
Si, va bene. BARRY CHUCKLES
Mm.
Let me give you my details.
You know where I am, in case
you ever get locked out again.
And this place is a lot
fancier than the last one.
What, are you fancy now?
Mm, maybe.
How's Donna?
Donna is Donna.
And he's my world,
has been for 17 years.
Wow.
So, no longer a boy, but a
man ready to leave the nest.
And
..I bet he doesn't even
want hugs any more.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Do you know, it's It's
OK. It's like what you said.
I'm just proud of him.
Especially being Oxford-bound.
Rah, you have raised him well.
I hope my girls can do just as
well when they're the same age.
You have kids?
Well, my divorce from their
mother was actually quite amicable,
so I get to see
them regularly now.
Who left who? How do you mean?
Well, you know, when people
say it was amicable, someone
still has to instigate it.
It's usually the man.
No, it wasn't like that.
No?
Marriage is hard, you know?
Marriage is nothing but a
vehicle for female oppression.
So, go on, then.
So, tell me how you learned to break
into folk place so easily like that?
Let's just say before
your kind intervention
..there were times I was forced
to do things I didn't necessarily
want to do.
Well, we all must do what
we have to do to survive, eh?
Don't make us bad people.
Mm.
Not quite enough.
Shukria.
You are welcome.
You know something,
Miss Merle? Mm?
I did always greatly admire you.
Really.
Right from the first
moment we did meet.
You is free, Morris. That makes
you a richer man than most.
I think so.
All right.
Hello, Mr Walker.
I'm Merle.
It is a pleasure to
meet you, Miss Merle.
And you.
I'm a lesbian.
That is fine with me.
You do as you
want. I'm not a bigot.
You girls, you have my blessing.
But I can't speak for the wife.
You're really cool. Thank you.
Wish I had a dad like you.
Mine kicked me out a year ago
when he caught me with my ex.
Yeah? I had to
move into a hostel.
No?
You love your
children, no matter what.
So where your mother?
Back in Montserrat. They
divorced when I was young.
Well, as far as I am concerned,
you girls can do as you please.
I greatly admire your courage.
You know, most folk, they just
pretend that they're the same
as everybody else.
But you, now. You
You stay true to who you are.
And there are precious few of us
who are brave enough to do that.
However, the day will come when
even the biggest coward must stand up
Don't be so bloody patronising.
And save us the lecture, Dad.
I don't need your
approval or permission.
Merle, let's go inside.
We need to talk.
Bless you for living
your true self, Miss Merle.
You are fearless.
You were always very kind to me.
Ha.
It sounds funny, but I always
felt like you understood me in ways
most others didn't.
Tell her you're a
raging poofter, Barry.
She won't care. Probably
love you even more.
Well, um
..never mind that.
And, uh, give my love to Morris.
I will.
I know Morris will be
sad he didn't see you.
Mm.
It's good to see you,
Miss Merle. You, too.
Why is it that all men,
without exception,
are vampires?
Is this a set-up for a joke?
Oh, they can be charming.
My Lord, they can be
charming, but their sole remit,
ultimately, is to suck
the life out of a woman.
Take my dad -
king of the vampires,
charmiest of the charmers.
He's Is charmiest
even a word?
I don't think so.
You should see what he's
reduced my mum to with all his lies.
Doesn't matter how much of her
life she sacrifices, he's always found
a way of letting her down.
I know it, my mum knows it -
heck, I bet even your wife does,
amicable as it may have been.
And one day, pretty sure
your daughters will too.
Please don't talk about my
daughters as if they're you.
Cos they're not.
Just like I'm not your father.
I'm sorry for wasting
your time tonight.
I'll sort the bill.
Morris?
Hello?
He's dead, Barry.
Papi, he's gone.
Lord, I'm so sorry, Carmel.
I feel like an orphan, Barry.
Mm-hm.
What?
When you coming for the funeral?
Barry?
You know I don't
business with funeral.
Yes, but, this is me papi.
I need you.
I really need you to come out.
Sorry, Carmel.
I sorry, but
..I just can't.
Your father not
coming. I can't believe it.
I can't believe he's doing
that to you, Mum - again.
I said it before, Donna.
Men, they're not
to be relied on.
Could you come out?
I know it's last-minute, but
Oh, don't be silly, Mummy.
I'm not doing anything
important anyway.
Well, if you're sure.
You need me, Mum,
that's all that matters.
I can't do this
alone. Thank you.