Murder Drones (2021) s01e05 Episode Script
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1
[VCR clicks, whirs]
[calm, distorted music plays
through speakers]
[narrator] Upgrading models?
Cutting maintenance costs?
There are many reasons
a client may wish to disassemble
a drone individual or series
after a period of use.
- [Audio glitching]
- Following these two steps
is key to avoid--
[Audio distorts]
Incompletely disassembled drones
may occasionally reboot
from software death alone.
More than undead federal fine hazards,
its corrupted AI carry
an increased risk of future errors.
- [Crow caws]
- [thunder rumbling]
[crow cawing]
[tense music plays]
[water dripping]
[interface beeping]
[tense music swells]
[music stops]
[thunder crashing]
[ominous music plays]
[N] "Commonly kept, this breed is known
for its friendly,
intelligent temperament
and soft golden coat."
[laughs] "Golden retrievers are also"
Us as lizards.
J drew herself.
- [Tense music plays]
- [thunder rumbling]
[clears throat]
"are also known
for having gentle mouths."
[giggles] Aww, that's why
they're good with kids.
[Thud]
[thudding]
[sinister music plays]
[thud]
[thunder crashes]
[bug chirping]
[pensive piano music plays]
[bug slurping]
- [footsteps approaching]
- [Solver] Stab.
You seem upset, big brother N.
Perhaps you'd like
to attend the gala with me?
- Light sip.
- [Liquid splashes]
[sighs]
Not sure we're invited, little buddy.
Why not just hang with me?
[Solver] Climbing.
Criss-cross applesauce.
Am I not wanted, N?
[Sighs] Dude.
You know it's Tessa's folks.
[Eerie whispering]
[tense music builds]
[music stops]
Ugh, don't give me those eyes.
[Solver] Giggle. I am so naughty.
The flesh demands invitation.
Ah, we'll ask Tessa. Okay?
If not, movie night.
[Solver] Sheepish nod.
[Dramatic classical music plays]
Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle.
[James] Western villa style?
Were you programmed by beasts?!
[Tessa] There's humans coming.
I've only ever yakked to robots, J!
Quick, pretend to be
a ripping royal stud!
On ya, girl.
[Winces]
I-I'm all right, J.
N!
[N grunts, groans]
Hi, Tessa.
[Groans]
Oh, who'd you bring with
You
[Solver] Seems J forgot to let me out
of my basement time-out again.
Yet, here you are.
[Solver] Annoyed expression.
You guys are locking her up?
Oh, N
[Louisa scoffs] Tessa James Elliot.
We will not entertain
your dumpster pets.
Y-Yes, mother.
Sorry, mother.
- [Sinister musical sting]
- [Louisa] Oh! Christ, almighty.
I said this one out of my sight.
Ugh, still can't follow simple orders?
N-No! Please, I--
[Louisa] Swamp.
Dumping your broken drones
clogging our library tomorrow, too.
Don't test me.
[Footsteps retreating]
[Solver] They are not broken.
[Tense music plays]
We can no longer be thrown out.
[Louisa] Did that little Antichrist--
[Sputters] I told her to say that,
and brought her here.
I just
Hate orders?
And your fan's dumb?
[Rain droplets hitting roof]
- [thunder crashes]
- [N] No!
[Screams]
Stop!
[Giggling]
Stop!
[Crow caws]
[laughs] Go get it, goobers!
[Intense music plays]
Uh, hmm.
[Electricity buzzes]
Ow! [grunts]
Ronald, we were buddies!
[Yelps] Uh, "d-darkXwolf17?"
[lightning cracks]
[ominous music plays]
[bones cracking]
[ominous music continues]
[Uzi groans] I made
the tag when I was eight.
Shut up.
[Bell tolls]
[thunder crashing]
[Tessa grunting]
J, industrial machinery, chuck us a hand!
Sorry, boss. Corporate's spoken.
Cyn, if that little butler dies
for your sake, I swear!
[Solver] Mm, I have back-ups.
[Bug chirping]
[beeping]
[thunder crashes]
You will not
have to discard your pets,
and I will not discard you.
[Glass shatters]
Best stay away from the gala, though.
You seem squeamish.
[Mechanical ticking approaching]
[tense music plays]
So, these are memories,
and future-me is dead at a sleepover?
[Uzi] Not a sleepover.
You passed out
cause some internal program
is trying to delete these memories.
Cause 'cause of you?
Cause you're doing that? Ow!
[Uzi] I'm helping, you cute--
Weird, weird butler.
We find out what happened to you here,
restore the memory files,
and save you from being
digitally lobotomized.
Library basement. Giddy up.
Kay.
You kinda seem like
an evil ghost witch, though.
- Ah!
- [Uzi] I am a ghost witch.
And I'm tall. [chuckles]
[gasps] Dad!
[Voice distorting] Get out of my room!
[Electronic beeping]
Important hacking going on!
Okay, okay.
You've just never
had friends over before--
Not a sleepover!
[Rain pattering]
[thunder rumbling]
[sighs] Sorry.
Where were we
Oh.
[Bell tolls]
[sinister music plays]
[sighs] Okay, N.
- I can pull you out at any
- Now. Now, please.
Time, but you'll never get
these memories back, dude.
Ow.
- They're that important?
- [Uzi] To you.
And, like
Me.
[Whispering] Why? Who are you?
Uh, we just hang out.
Shut up.
Repression door.
[Interface beeping softly]
[sinister music continues]
[thunder crashes]
[metal scraping]
[liquid squelching]
[tense music plays]
- [Uzi] The key.
- Ugh. J has it.
[V giggles]
[tense music continues]
[music swells]
[music stops]
[J grunting]
[Tessa] It wants paid time off
to attend the union negotiations.
[Screams]
This is an unrelated layoff!
[Spits]
[panting]
[classical music plays]
[thunder rumbling]
[Tessa] How do you reckon
we murder us a robo-child, J?
Ugh!
- How 'bout this?
- [Tessa] How about this?
[N whispering] Psst, Tessa.
[Glass shatters]
[sinister music plays]
We need the basement key.
This bird's from the future.
[Uzi] I kill you. [cackles quietly]
[Tessa] Cyn's gonna massacre the gala.
Who? Our Cyn?
Nah, she's cool.
[All shout]
[grunts, growls]
Do your basement thing.
We got the coma patient
you creeped on.
Not creepy! Sweet!
[Yelps]
[J grunts]
[frantic music plays]
- [N yells]
- [crashing]
[grunts]
[frantic music continues]
[Lord Frumptlebucket]
Crikey, what abounding humphterfruffle!
[Swords clashing]
[Katie] Why are you talking like that?
[Thunder rumbling]
[eerie music plays]
[whimpers]
[running footsteps approaching]
[tense music plays]
Jump-scare! Grab!
[Gasps] darkXwolf17!
[Wailing] No!
[Whimpering]
[shrieks]
[electricity buzzing]
[Uzi] Oh, we're in.
And J's useless. Surprise.
[Grunts, yells]
- [grunts]
- [trapdoor slams]
[crashing]
Is V okay?
Like in the future?
[Uzi] Unfortunately.
Now, let's see what that
little yellow creep was up--
Oh.
[Tense music plays]
So
That's a pretty metal origin story.
Not dealing with this great,
to be immediately honest.
[Giggles] Okay, it's gone.
[Uzi sighs] All right,
let's get outta here.
[Rumbling]
[gasps, panting]
Hey, buddy, you invite Doll to thi--
Whoa!
[Intense music plays]
Ghost buddy?
You okay?
[Solver] Better than ever, "buddy."
[grunts]
[groans]
[Solver] Let's reset these memories
one more time.
[Tense music builds]
[light music plays]
[James] Welcome, all.
The Elliots are known for many things.
Class, tenacity
Currently being alive.
Well-timed giggle.
[Thunder rumbles]
[Tessa] Everyone stand back!
This is a citizen's murder.
- [Both gasp]
- [Louisa] That dress.
[James] You hold that gun less cool
this instant, missy.
- [Both grunt]
- [crashing]
Tessa, remember, you didn't have to--
[Gunshot]
You didn't have--
[Object shatters]
[tray clatters]
[tense music plays]
[intense music plays]
You didn't have to see this.
- [Muffled screaming]
- [crashing]
[metal clattering]
Son of a--
Come on.
Solver of the Absolute Fabric,
get a grip.
Tantrum.
Brain blast.
Oh, V, could use some help in here.
- [Door creaks]
- [footsteps approaching]
[speaking Russian]
[Uzi] You wanting it
tells me you shouldn't have it!
[Speaking Russian]
This is the only clue
to what's wrong with me!
[Electricity whirring]
[futuristic music plays]
[scoffs] Just leave us alone.
[Melancholy music plays]
[groans softly]
[speaking Russian]
[chuckles] Despite me, maybe.
[Speaking Russian]
[Solver] Grab it.
Just grab it.
Grab it!
Intimidating glare.
Whoa, Cyn.
For an eldritch, uh
Monster thingy--
[Solver] The Solver
of the Absolute Fabric.
The void, the exponential end.
Peep this?
[Melancholy piano music plays]
[interface chirping]
I got you.
[Normal voice, stumbling]
"Gol-den retrievers have"
Gentle mouths, dude.
[Grunts]
[Solver] Cute. False. Gross. True.
Let's just delete your OS's then.
Goodbye, "buddy."
- Execute.
- N!
[Electricity buzzing]
[Solver, glitching] W-What is happening?
[Small explosion]
[Uzi, glitching] Ugh, sorry.
My frickin' dad's streaming--
Whoa!
Whoops! [laughs]
- Oh, whoops.
- [Cyn gasps, coughs]
[dramatic music plays]
Uzi?
[Uzi] Don't frickin' dox me.
Thanks.
You little narc!
Get out of my head!
[Electricity buzzes]
[both gasp]
[Uzi maniacally laughs]
[chainsaw revs]
[dramatic music continues]
[buzzing]
[speaking Russian]
[gunshot]
[Tessa] Just checking.
Let's go.
[All exclaim]
[rock version of main theme plays]
[VCR clicks, whirs]
[calm, distorted music plays
through speakers]
[narrator] Upgrading models?
Cutting maintenance costs?
There are many reasons
a client may wish to disassemble
a drone individual or series
after a period of use.
- [Audio glitching]
- Following these two steps
is key to avoid--
[Audio distorts]
Incompletely disassembled drones
may occasionally reboot
from software death alone.
More than undead federal fine hazards,
its corrupted AI carry
an increased risk of future errors.
- [Crow caws]
- [thunder rumbling]
[crow cawing]
[tense music plays]
[water dripping]
[interface beeping]
[tense music swells]
[music stops]
[thunder crashing]
[ominous music plays]
[N] "Commonly kept, this breed is known
for its friendly,
intelligent temperament
and soft golden coat."
[laughs] "Golden retrievers are also"
Us as lizards.
J drew herself.
- [Tense music plays]
- [thunder rumbling]
[clears throat]
"are also known
for having gentle mouths."
[giggles] Aww, that's why
they're good with kids.
[Thud]
[thudding]
[sinister music plays]
[thud]
[thunder crashes]
[bug chirping]
[pensive piano music plays]
[bug slurping]
- [footsteps approaching]
- [Solver] Stab.
You seem upset, big brother N.
Perhaps you'd like
to attend the gala with me?
- Light sip.
- [Liquid splashes]
[sighs]
Not sure we're invited, little buddy.
Why not just hang with me?
[Solver] Climbing.
Criss-cross applesauce.
Am I not wanted, N?
[Sighs] Dude.
You know it's Tessa's folks.
[Eerie whispering]
[tense music builds]
[music stops]
Ugh, don't give me those eyes.
[Solver] Giggle. I am so naughty.
The flesh demands invitation.
Ah, we'll ask Tessa. Okay?
If not, movie night.
[Solver] Sheepish nod.
[Dramatic classical music plays]
Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle.
[James] Western villa style?
Were you programmed by beasts?!
[Tessa] There's humans coming.
I've only ever yakked to robots, J!
Quick, pretend to be
a ripping royal stud!
On ya, girl.
[Winces]
I-I'm all right, J.
N!
[N grunts, groans]
Hi, Tessa.
[Groans]
Oh, who'd you bring with
You
[Solver] Seems J forgot to let me out
of my basement time-out again.
Yet, here you are.
[Solver] Annoyed expression.
You guys are locking her up?
Oh, N
[Louisa scoffs] Tessa James Elliot.
We will not entertain
your dumpster pets.
Y-Yes, mother.
Sorry, mother.
- [Sinister musical sting]
- [Louisa] Oh! Christ, almighty.
I said this one out of my sight.
Ugh, still can't follow simple orders?
N-No! Please, I--
[Louisa] Swamp.
Dumping your broken drones
clogging our library tomorrow, too.
Don't test me.
[Footsteps retreating]
[Solver] They are not broken.
[Tense music plays]
We can no longer be thrown out.
[Louisa] Did that little Antichrist--
[Sputters] I told her to say that,
and brought her here.
I just
Hate orders?
And your fan's dumb?
[Rain droplets hitting roof]
- [thunder crashes]
- [N] No!
[Screams]
Stop!
[Giggling]
Stop!
[Crow caws]
[laughs] Go get it, goobers!
[Intense music plays]
Uh, hmm.
[Electricity buzzes]
Ow! [grunts]
Ronald, we were buddies!
[Yelps] Uh, "d-darkXwolf17?"
[lightning cracks]
[ominous music plays]
[bones cracking]
[ominous music continues]
[Uzi groans] I made
the tag when I was eight.
Shut up.
[Bell tolls]
[thunder crashing]
[Tessa grunting]
J, industrial machinery, chuck us a hand!
Sorry, boss. Corporate's spoken.
Cyn, if that little butler dies
for your sake, I swear!
[Solver] Mm, I have back-ups.
[Bug chirping]
[beeping]
[thunder crashes]
You will not
have to discard your pets,
and I will not discard you.
[Glass shatters]
Best stay away from the gala, though.
You seem squeamish.
[Mechanical ticking approaching]
[tense music plays]
So, these are memories,
and future-me is dead at a sleepover?
[Uzi] Not a sleepover.
You passed out
cause some internal program
is trying to delete these memories.
Cause 'cause of you?
Cause you're doing that? Ow!
[Uzi] I'm helping, you cute--
Weird, weird butler.
We find out what happened to you here,
restore the memory files,
and save you from being
digitally lobotomized.
Library basement. Giddy up.
Kay.
You kinda seem like
an evil ghost witch, though.
- Ah!
- [Uzi] I am a ghost witch.
And I'm tall. [chuckles]
[gasps] Dad!
[Voice distorting] Get out of my room!
[Electronic beeping]
Important hacking going on!
Okay, okay.
You've just never
had friends over before--
Not a sleepover!
[Rain pattering]
[thunder rumbling]
[sighs] Sorry.
Where were we
Oh.
[Bell tolls]
[sinister music plays]
[sighs] Okay, N.
- I can pull you out at any
- Now. Now, please.
Time, but you'll never get
these memories back, dude.
Ow.
- They're that important?
- [Uzi] To you.
And, like
Me.
[Whispering] Why? Who are you?
Uh, we just hang out.
Shut up.
Repression door.
[Interface beeping softly]
[sinister music continues]
[thunder crashes]
[metal scraping]
[liquid squelching]
[tense music plays]
- [Uzi] The key.
- Ugh. J has it.
[V giggles]
[tense music continues]
[music swells]
[music stops]
[J grunting]
[Tessa] It wants paid time off
to attend the union negotiations.
[Screams]
This is an unrelated layoff!
[Spits]
[panting]
[classical music plays]
[thunder rumbling]
[Tessa] How do you reckon
we murder us a robo-child, J?
Ugh!
- How 'bout this?
- [Tessa] How about this?
[N whispering] Psst, Tessa.
[Glass shatters]
[sinister music plays]
We need the basement key.
This bird's from the future.
[Uzi] I kill you. [cackles quietly]
[Tessa] Cyn's gonna massacre the gala.
Who? Our Cyn?
Nah, she's cool.
[All shout]
[grunts, growls]
Do your basement thing.
We got the coma patient
you creeped on.
Not creepy! Sweet!
[Yelps]
[J grunts]
[frantic music plays]
- [N yells]
- [crashing]
[grunts]
[frantic music continues]
[Lord Frumptlebucket]
Crikey, what abounding humphterfruffle!
[Swords clashing]
[Katie] Why are you talking like that?
[Thunder rumbling]
[eerie music plays]
[whimpers]
[running footsteps approaching]
[tense music plays]
Jump-scare! Grab!
[Gasps] darkXwolf17!
[Wailing] No!
[Whimpering]
[shrieks]
[electricity buzzing]
[Uzi] Oh, we're in.
And J's useless. Surprise.
[Grunts, yells]
- [grunts]
- [trapdoor slams]
[crashing]
Is V okay?
Like in the future?
[Uzi] Unfortunately.
Now, let's see what that
little yellow creep was up--
Oh.
[Tense music plays]
So
That's a pretty metal origin story.
Not dealing with this great,
to be immediately honest.
[Giggles] Okay, it's gone.
[Uzi sighs] All right,
let's get outta here.
[Rumbling]
[gasps, panting]
Hey, buddy, you invite Doll to thi--
Whoa!
[Intense music plays]
Ghost buddy?
You okay?
[Solver] Better than ever, "buddy."
[grunts]
[groans]
[Solver] Let's reset these memories
one more time.
[Tense music builds]
[light music plays]
[James] Welcome, all.
The Elliots are known for many things.
Class, tenacity
Currently being alive.
Well-timed giggle.
[Thunder rumbles]
[Tessa] Everyone stand back!
This is a citizen's murder.
- [Both gasp]
- [Louisa] That dress.
[James] You hold that gun less cool
this instant, missy.
- [Both grunt]
- [crashing]
Tessa, remember, you didn't have to--
[Gunshot]
You didn't have--
[Object shatters]
[tray clatters]
[tense music plays]
[intense music plays]
You didn't have to see this.
- [Muffled screaming]
- [crashing]
[metal clattering]
Son of a--
Come on.
Solver of the Absolute Fabric,
get a grip.
Tantrum.
Brain blast.
Oh, V, could use some help in here.
- [Door creaks]
- [footsteps approaching]
[speaking Russian]
[Uzi] You wanting it
tells me you shouldn't have it!
[Speaking Russian]
This is the only clue
to what's wrong with me!
[Electricity whirring]
[futuristic music plays]
[scoffs] Just leave us alone.
[Melancholy music plays]
[groans softly]
[speaking Russian]
[chuckles] Despite me, maybe.
[Speaking Russian]
[Solver] Grab it.
Just grab it.
Grab it!
Intimidating glare.
Whoa, Cyn.
For an eldritch, uh
Monster thingy--
[Solver] The Solver
of the Absolute Fabric.
The void, the exponential end.
Peep this?
[Melancholy piano music plays]
[interface chirping]
I got you.
[Normal voice, stumbling]
"Gol-den retrievers have"
Gentle mouths, dude.
[Grunts]
[Solver] Cute. False. Gross. True.
Let's just delete your OS's then.
Goodbye, "buddy."
- Execute.
- N!
[Electricity buzzing]
[Solver, glitching] W-What is happening?
[Small explosion]
[Uzi, glitching] Ugh, sorry.
My frickin' dad's streaming--
Whoa!
Whoops! [laughs]
- Oh, whoops.
- [Cyn gasps, coughs]
[dramatic music plays]
Uzi?
[Uzi] Don't frickin' dox me.
Thanks.
You little narc!
Get out of my head!
[Electricity buzzes]
[both gasp]
[Uzi maniacally laughs]
[chainsaw revs]
[dramatic music continues]
[buzzing]
[speaking Russian]
[gunshot]
[Tessa] Just checking.
Let's go.
[All exclaim]
[rock version of main theme plays]