Off Campus (2026) s01e05 Episode Script
Episode 5
-Wait.
-Wait?
Are we on the same page here?
Didn't you hear?
I just did a whole thing. It was romantic.
I'm just I don't want
to be your friend, Wellsy.
This isn't how you kiss your friends.
No more Justin.
Music collaboration only.
No more sexy Snapchats.
The unsexiest only.
Deal.
And no more deals.
I can live with that.
[Hannah chuckles]
[sighs]
["Bed on Fire" by G Flip playing]
♪Hey♪
♪Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh♪
♪Preacher said I couldn't get no higher♪
♪Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh♪
♪Playing Jesus like a backseat driver♪
[all cheering]
♪If that's what I get for my desire♪
♪Then watch me set the bed on fire♪
♪She held my hand♪
♪And led me back to the river♪
[indistinct chatter]
♪We drowned our sins all night♪
♪And howled at the moon♪
♪Hey♪
♪I'm running around
I'm running around, it's heaven♪
♪Well, if I'm going down
I'll light a fire for you♪
♪Hey♪
♪Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh♪
♪Preacher said I couldn't get no higher♪
♪Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh♪
♪Playing Jesus like a backseat driver♪
♪If that's what I get for my desire♪
♪Then watch me set the bed on fire♪
[camera shutters click]
♪I tried it, I liked it♪
♪No one found that surprising♪
♪I'll fall asleep
with a match in my hand♪
[both laugh]
♪I tried it, I liked it♪
♪No one found that surprising♪
♪I'll fall asleep
with a match in my hand♪
♪I'll set the bed on fire♪
♪Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh♪
♪Preacher said I couldn't get no higher♪
♪Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh♪
♪Playing Jesus like a backseat driver♪
♪If that's what I get for my desire♪
[gasping]
[Garrett moans]
[gasps]
♪Watch me set the bed on fire♪
[moaning]
♪Watch me set the bed on fire♪♪
[both laugh]
[woman on phone]
Hann?
Did you hear that?
I think the whole campus heard that.
Okay, rude. But that's not--
-Hann?
-Mom?
Are you there? I can't see you.
Fuck! Oh!
♪I'll set the bed on fire♪
♪Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh♪♪
I mean, those kids are a blessing,
but they're a lot.
You say that every year, and every year
you get sad when Aunt Nicole
and everybody leave
and the house is empty again.
I know. What are you doing this year?
Gonna go to Brooklyn with Allie again?
No, Garrett's housemates
are doing Friendsgiving,
-so I'm going to stay for that.
-[text alert]
Friendsgiving?
That sounds so fun.
What are you going to bring?
You said they liked Nana's
lasagna recipe, right?
Yeah, yeah, but
-Well, you can't show up empty-handed.
-We won't.
Text Garrett.
Ask him how many people are going.
Uh, I, um
Garrett?
Wait, he's there?
Uh
Introduce me.
No, Mom.
Garrett, honey, how many people
will be at Friendsgiving?
Hi, Mrs. Wells.
Uh, please, call me Carrie.
Look at you.
You weren't exaggerating, Hannah.
He's so handsome.
-[both laugh]
-Okay, hanging up now.
Garrett, Hannah's dad is going to be
so jealous I met you first.
He's been bragging about you
to all of our friends.
He posted about your game last night.
He wanted to tag you, but don't worry.
I didn't let him.
Just know that you have
a super fan over here.
Mom, they lost last night.
[laughs]
It doesn't matter. He's proud.
Okay, we gotta go. We have class.
Okay, well,
it's nice to meet you, Garrett.
Nice meeting you, too, Mrs
Carrie.
[both chuckle]
Miss and love you, sweet pea.
-[Hannah] Miss and love you, too, Mama.
-Bye.
[Hannah chuckles]
Sorry, she's enthusiastic.
She's sweet. She loves you.
Okay, are you driving or shall I?
I'm not sitting
on your handlebars, Wellsy.
One day, Graham.
One day.
[both laugh]
[sticks slapping on ice]
[bag thuds]
I didn't know how else
to get you to talk to me.
I want you to come home for Thanksgiving.
Are you serious?
Cindy still really wants to meet you
before the wedding,
and I would appreciate it, as well.
Look, I don't know what kind of bullshit
game you're playing, but I don't--
It's not a game, Garrett.
I'm really trying here.
I'm a different man now,
and I don't expect you to understand this,
but Cindy
she's chosen to trust me.
And I want to be someone
worthy of that trust.
Garrett, please.
Just think about it.
It's almost there,
but it's like my advisor said.
I'm just-- I'm not feeling it.
Not yet.
Okay. Uh, fine.
I'll take another crack
at the lyrics over the break.
-Great, yeah, thank you.
-No worries.
See you, Garrett.
Yeah, bud.
Did Julian wipe out again?
Uh, Justin has some cool ideas
for a new verse,
which means that I can take a break
over Thanksgiving.
-Hey, Wellsy.
-Yeah?
Why don't you go home
for the long weekend?
Seems like your parents
would love to see you.
Uh, that-- that place
isn't really my home anymore.
Because of what happened to you?
Yeah, yeah, and what happened after.
Uh, when the guy you accuse
of assault is the mayor's kid,
people don't tend to believe you.
Yeah, it didn't help that his whole team
rallied around him,
testified against me in court.
Some real Hester Prynne bullshit.
He was an athlete?
Yeah.
A hockey player?
Yeah.
Ah, fuck.
Look, that's all in the past now.
He's in the past.
Indiana's just not
my favorite place to go back to.
My parents get it.
Uh, why do you ask?
Uh, my dad wants me to go home
for Thanksgiving and meet his fiancée.
Would you want to?
Maybe.
I don't know.
Uh, yeah, things with my dad
are kind of
It's complicated.
Yeah, well, he's still your dad, right?
Even if he is a hard-ass.
When I saw him before practice,
he seemed, like, different?
Good different?
Well, I don't know
if he's capable of that, but
But you hope so.
Look, I think people
can change if they want to.
So you're saying you think
I should give him another chance?
If that's what you want.
If I go
will you come with me?
Of course.
Are you-- Are you sure?
That's what girlfriends do.
Real ones, anyway.
[both laugh]
Thank you.
[sighs]
Am I getting faster?
Oh, I lost interest in that.
You look good.
Mean.
-Like "tough" mean or "you" mean?
-Hmm.
-Zdeno Chara mean.
-Oh.
You can never pull off "me" mean.
[chuckles] I'll take it.
By these pictures, I'd almost assume
you weren't into Garrett's girlfriend.
-Because I'm not!
-Uh-huh.
[scoffs]
[cell phone ringer vibrating]
Ah. Looks like you drew the short straw.
Want me to put it on speaker?
I'd rather keep skating suicides.
She's probably having
a hard time right now.
Because she'll be alone on Thanksgiving?
She did that to herself.
She's trying, dude.
She's always trying.
[vibrating continues]
Better get that.
Hi, Mom.
This, gentlemen, is 25 pounds
of pure poultry perfection.
[loud thud]
-[Logan] That's a big-ass turkey.
-Damn straight.
We're gonna kill Thanksgiving.
Unlike last year
when everyone "brought" something
and all we had to eat was a turkey
and 300 Miller High Life's.
Champagne of beers.
I actually want to remember
my Thanksgiving this year.
Which is why I've put it upon myself
to handle all food preparations.
Because this year
is going to be the best Thanksgiving.
The perfect Thanksgiving.
-Holy shit.
-Fucking hell.
Since I can't go home,
I've decided to make
all my mama's greatest hits from scratch.
We got three kinds of pie,
two kinds of cranberry sauces,
and more sweet potatoes
than you can shake a stick at.
And the pièce de résistance.
The Tucker family deep-fried turkey.
All rights reserved, 1985.
-Can I go work out now?
-I don't think he's done.
No. No, no, no. I'm very much not done.
A general is only as good
as his troops, okay?
Where is Garrett?
[laughing] Are we supposed
to be your troops?
I'm not leaving anything up to chance.
This, my friends,
will be a military operation.
You all have jobs to do, okay?
Where the fuck is Garrett?
-What's up?
-Garrett.
Thank you for finally joining us.
You and Wellsy will handle
the pie crust from Della's backstock.
For?
Thanksgiving.
Oh, right. Sorry, Tuck.
Hannah and I are going to my dad's
place in Boston. Can't make it.
What? No.
Okay.
No problem. No problem.
Dean, you can handle all his stuff, okay?
No, I would be all over that,
but I am road-tripping
-down to New York tomorrow with Bella.
-Oh, no, dude.
-No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
-Blackout Wednesday, dude.
Drinksgiving? Why would I be drunk here
when I could be drunk there?
Sorry, bro. See you next year.
So, the friends
are abandoning Friendsgiving.
Who needs them?
Jules and I are here, it's gonna be
the perfect fucking Thanksgiving.
What do you need?
I'll send you my to-do list.
[phone chimes]
-[Logan] Damn.
-[Tucker] I know.
It's glorious.
I'm so depressed you're not coming
to Brooklyn with me this year.
Me, too.
But I want to be there for Garrett.
As much as I love
watching Aunt Kathy get drunk
and busting out her old cheer routine.
-God, old gal's still got the splits.
-[laughs]
It's your first Thanksgiving without Sean.
How are you doing?
Honestly, I am loving my single life.
I'm Yasmina in season two
of Al Nisa Alashba.
Doesn't she fall into a coma
for most of that season?
Yes, but before that,
she is single and thriving.
As am I.
Just not getting tied down,
focusing on myself and my acting.
-That's it.
-Well, I am proud of you.
Well, you, too.
Meeting Garrett's dad,
being a good girlfriend and shit.
-[both laugh]
-You nervous?
Uh, no.
I mean, he's famous, right?
Yeah, yeah, okay, I'm a little nervous,
but not because he's famous.
Just I don't know.
The way Garrett talks about him,
he seems like really intense.
Yeah, I've seen him at games.
Does the man ever smile?
I don't think so.
Well, don't stress.
It's not about him liking you.
It's about Garrett.
And he already likes you.
Yeah, I just think it's really important
to Garrett that this goes well.
That's what relationships are for,
honey bun.
Supporting each other.
Helping each other grow as people.
It can't all be about sex and fun.
[cell phone vibrates]
Oh, shit. The bus is almost here.
Gotta go.
Well, no, Garrett can just drive you.
No, it's fine. I love a bus.
You hate a bus.
It's fine.
I love you. Happy Thanksgiving.
Love you. [laughs]
-[Tucker] 425 for how long?
-[Gail on phone] Thirty minutes.
Use that time to prep the turkey
before it has to go in.
-And don't forget to--
-Pat-dry the bird.
I know. I know. Can't be wet.
Unless you want a crispy turkey
and no eyebrows like Uncle Pete.
And don't skimp on the marshmallows
for the sweet potato casserole.
Ooh, slivers, dude.
Dude, slivers.
Just easy.
-Yes, chef.
-There you go.
Just remember to drop the turkey in
exactly one hour
before your sides are ready.
One hour. Got it.
First Thanksgiving
you're cooking all on your own.
It's weird doing all this without you.
Miss you, too, JT.
But I'm right there with you.
I can practically smell
the sweat and testosterone.
-[laughs]
-Fair.
Just don't want to screw anything up.
-It has to be perfect.
-No such thing.
It's not the food.
It's the comfort and love
that make the food.
Did you just quote the Barefoot Contessa?
Or did she quote me?
No way of knowing, is there?
[laughs]
Gravy, gotta go.
Love you, baby.
Perfect. Yes. Yes.
Where were the marshmallows?
I just saw them five seconds ago.
Where could they possibly go?
One, two, three.
They were just here.
What are you doing?
Keeping our family tradition alive.
I'm trying to have a normal
Thanksgiving right now, okay?
What's normal? Turkey, pumpkin pie?
Boo, boring.
Say what you will about Mom,
we always had fun.
Okay, you have a very interesting,
selective memory.
Can't we just enjoy this, please?
You are ruining Tuck's Thanksgiving.
[Tucker] They were just here.
The marshmallows were just here.
Party people!
-Happy Thanksgiving!
-Oh! Birdie!
Nats! Thank God!
-I thought we'd have too much food.
-Not a chance. We brought friends.
And we brought wine.
Oh, six. Six more people.
Hi, Kendall. Great.
That's perfect, I can do that. Yeah.
Hi, how you doing?
-Hi. Hi.
-Hi, Tucker. Thanks for having us.
-[indistinct chatter]
-Good to see you.
Is it possible to double a sweet potato
casserole in one dish?
You're asking me?
I got this.
This is a bad idea.
[Hannah] Yeah, you're right.
Who brings a key lime pie to Thanksgiving?
Why didn't you stop me? Pumpkin?
Pumpkin is the thing.
Or maybe I should have brought wine.
I meant my dad, Wellsy.
-Oh, right.
-[both laugh]
And we can go at any point.
Just give me the signal,
and we'll get the fuck out.
-The signal?
-Yeah.
Like, I don't know,
squeeze my hand or something.
Once means you're good.
Two squeezes, and we're gone.
[laughs]
[sighs]
Or we go?
Or Or we stay?
You gotta give me something here.
[laughs]
All right, we stay.
Okay.
First step, getting out the car.
-[laughs]
-Yeah.
[doorbell rings]
Garrett, you made it.
Dad.
And you must be Hannah.
-Glad to finally meet you.
-Hi.
Sorry, I'd shake your hand, but--
Oh, I'll take that.
Pie!
Oh, it's key lime.
You love key lime.
-He loves key lime.
-I do, it's the superior pie, thank you.
Well, don't let the poor kids
freeze out there.
Come in.
I'm gonna put this in the fridge.
I'll take your coats.
Thank you.
Thanks.
[Hannah sighs]
It's a nice house.
-Yeah.
-[laughs]
Aw! Look at you.
Oh.
They look alike, don't they?
It's uncanny.
I'm so glad you're here, Garrett.
I can't wait to hear
all about how the season's going.
[laughs]
Come on, I'll put the game on.
It's you versus me, kid.
Rangers, Bruins.
Actually, is it cool
if I show Hannah around first?
Yeah, of course.
You don't have to ask permission.
This is your house, too.
Here, I'll give you the tour.
Cool.
[knock on door]
Thank you so much.
Thank you for coming.
Who is that now?
We come bearing alcohol.
And we got tiny little boxes of cereal
stolen from the dining hall.
Hey, look, Tuck. More people.
Hannah said orphans were welcome.
They are. They are, yes.
Uh, just grab a seat.
Jules will grab you a drink.
Yeah. Just make yourselves at home
here in the living room.
Okay, thank you, guys. Happy Thanksgiving.
[all] Happy Thanksgiving.
[stove beeps]
Why is the stuffing not in the oven yet?
Because the corn pudding and the green
bean casserole are already in there.
Here, please consult the oven schedule.
I did all the math.
The stuffing needs to hang out
in the neutral zone.
-It only takes 30 minutes.
-[stove beeps]
If you guys were half as good at hockey
Jules, I can't right now.
Please.
-Go.
-Gravy. Guys, please.
-Somebody taste it. Thank you.
-Logan, try it.
And for the end of the tour, this is me.
You okay?
Yeah, yeah, it's just weird
being back here.
After my mom died,
I went off to boarding school,
and I never really lived here again.
Yeah, I can tell. [laughs]
Is your dad running
a storage business on the side?
[both chuckle]
This is just all the stuff he signs
when he goes to mall appearances
or conventions or whatever.
Right.
Trying to keep the legend alive.
His best years are behind him.
Are you afraid that'll happen to you?
This is what success
looks like, eventually.
Or I could tear my ACL tomorrow
and get stuck bagging groceries
at the Stop 'N' Shop.
Not that--
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Hey, my mom works at Bob's Market, so
Yeah, not-- Yeah, that wasn't really
a dream, either, so
What was?
I don't know. She-- She was a singer.
Her high school choir
won a bunch of competitions,
but I don't know,
she never really went for it.
She must be proud of you, then.
Yeah, I just think
she wants me to be happy.
My dad, he's not really like that.
Or, I don't know about now, but he wasn't.
Not just with hockey, with everything.
He was always
so
Intense?
Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Yeah, seriously intense.
Yeah, I don't know,
it just seems kind of sad.
Like you wake up one morning
and can't play hockey anymore.
Would you miss it?
It's the only thing I'm good at.
That's not true. And that's not an answer.
[laughs]
I think I would be
like, relieved.
[cell phone vibrates]
Sorry.
Uh, Allie said that they wanted
to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving.
Take it.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I've got this.
Okay.
Hey.
[laughing] Oh, my gosh!
Hi, everyone.
Okay, we have more people here
than a Walmart on a Black Friday.
We are going to loaves and fishes
this whole thing.
I'mma go get potatoes
from the extra fridge, and then, um
-Pat-dry?
-pat-dry the bird, yes.
-Yes.
-Go get 'em, buddy.
Wait, wait, wait.
No marshmallows on the sweet potatoes?
[man] They're already sweet.
Okay, that's fucking blasphemy.
You're a blasphemer.
I will die on this hill.
We never had marshmallows
on our sweet potatoes.
-We never had sweet potatoes.
-I had a sweet potato taco one year.
Tacos? On Thanksgiving?
It's actually the best time
for tacos, honestly.
Especially when your big bro has a sweet
sponsorship deal with Taco Shack.
Ah. They're open on Thanksgiving?
Yeah, they're the only place
open on Thanksgiving.
And we learned that the hard way
when our mom got drunk one year
and forgot she was grilling chicken.
The propane tank almost leveled the block.
-Whoa.
-It was a blessing, actually.
Mama Logan was never known
for her cooking.
I know.
We should bring Mom Taco Shack.
Absolutely not.
Well, she's probably surrounded
by strangers
eating gross rehab food right now.
So?
So, she needs our support.
Should we be here for this?
I supported her the last time she went in,
and the time before that,
and the time before that.
It's Thanksgiving,
and she's fucking family, John.
She's in fucking rehab, Jules.
Exactly.
She's
She's trying.
Okay, new plan.
I'm gonna whip up some spinach casserole.
What?
You know what? Forget it.
I'll go myself.
Tucker! My friend.
We are here.
Yes. Yes, you are.
I'm so sorry to be late.
Uh-huh.
-So, Yanis from Latvia.
-Hi.
-Uh, Cheryl from Philippines.
-Hi.
-You know Arjun?
-Mm-mm. Hi.
-And Karl Heinz.
-Hello! Karl Heinz.
[all laugh]
-[glass shatters]
-[Lexi] Sorry.
You know what, boys and girls?
I need space to work.
Everybody, we are going
to take this shindig outside.
Let's go. Outside. Outside, guys.
-Outside, guys.
-[man] Outside.
Thank you, guys.
-[indistinct chatter]
-Thank you, guys.
[exhales]
[TV announcer] The Bruins started the day
three points clear
of fifth-place Philadelphia,
and fourth in the East.
The game is on.
It looked like the Bruins
are gonna get that puck out.
I heard you stopped by
and saw a Bruins practice.
Yeah.
You get a chance to show off?
Yeah, a little bit.
Attaboy.
Cindy seems nice.
She is.
Knows hockey, too.
Penguins fan, but we're working on that.
All right. Good.
-[cheering on TV]
-Mm!
-There you go.
-Fuckin' A.
There you go.
Bonneville is giving the Bruins trouble.
He's too fast for the D.
Yeah, but he's slow on the backtrack.
They've just got to get
the puck off him first.
Mm. I bet the Bruins would love having you
on the ice a year early, huh?
They don't need me yet.
Fontano's got a few seasons left in him.
Plus, I'm not ready yet.
I want to graduate.
[announcer] We'll be right back
after this commercial break.
That's a smart choice, Garrett.
Probably good to be a little bit older
before you go pro.
Eighteen was really young for me
to be thrown in the deep end.
You'll be better equipped
to handle the pressure.
[announcer]
And we're back.
Face off won by Levy
and the Bruins set it up.
The Rangers' penalty killing
has been outstanding.
A huge factor in the game
against the Bruins today.
Okay, are you alone now?
Can we talk about Aunt Kathy's
new British accent?
And she goes by Kiara now.
It's like a whole thing.
Wasn't she in London for, like, a week?
-[boisterous chatter]
-[cell phone vibrating]
-Al?
-Huh?
Um, no, yeah, totally.
Uh, okay, what-- What's going on?
Nothing, it's just like everyone's over.
Hey, if you're busy, I
Hey, Allie Hayes, I can hear your nails.
Who are you texting?
What? Nobody.
It's Sean.
-You're backsliding.
-Am not.
Hey, it's okay.
[laughs]
It's my dad. He, uh
He can't find the remote again. He--
I swear he has ADHD,
but his generation's undiagnosable.
Oh, okay.
Hey, I should probably go help.
Um, love you, miss you. Gobble, gobble.
-[call disconnects]
-Oh
[sighs]
[chuckles]
Happy Thanksgiving.
-You have an appointment?
-Hi.
No, I'm-- I'm here for Jean Logan.
And when did she check in?
Last week.
I'm sorry, new intakes
don't have visitation privileges yet.
No, I, uh I have a delivery.
Can you just tell her it's from Jules?
[Logan] And John.
Excuse me?
I paid for this with my hard-earned cash.
Well, I'll Venmo you.
Jules and John, thank you.
[receptionist] Any particular message?
"Happy Thanksgiving," or
Actually, uh, contraband, please.
It's a family tradition.
She'll get it.
Thank you.
It'll mean a lot to her.
Well, I'm here
because it means a lot to you.
And you're right.
She is trying.
So, what do you say we hit
the hardware store on the way back?
For real?
I mean, we gotta shore up our supplies
if we're gonna spread
the Logan love this holiday season.
In that case, we'd better hit
the Stop 'N' Shop, too.
One bag of marshmallows
ain't gonna cut it.
-[snaps fingers]
-Let's go. Come on.
[timers beeping]
♪I'm your leader, I'm your teacher
I'm your Michelin Man♪
-Status check.
-All sides in the oven. Chef.
T-minus one hour. Chef.
-I've always wanted to say that.
-We crushed it.
Which means, mis amigos,
it is time to deep-fry the turkey!
[all cheer]
-Simms, you ready?
-Let's fucking do this.
[all] Ten, nine, eight,
seven, six, five,
four, three, two,
one!
Wait, I forgot to pat-dry the bird!
Oh!
["National Treasure"
by Barns Courtney playing]
-[man] Bonfire party!
-[cheering]
[mellow dinner music playing]
You guys are in for quite a treat.
Cindy's mashed potatoes
are really something.
And dairy-free.
It's a happy accident, Hannah.
I asked Cindy to, uh,
make the mac and cheese
-With the breadcrumbs, uh-huh.
-With the breadcrumbs.
-Like Mom used to make.
-[Phil] Mm-hmm.
I didn't want to overstep.
[Garrett] No.
No, that's-- that's very kind. Thank you.
[Phil] Thanks for coming.
It means a lot to me.
Phil, would you?
Yes, of course.
We should say a little grace
before we dig in.
Oh.
Yeah.
Lord, thank you for this wonderful bounty
you have bestowed upon us.
Thank you for bringing us all together
to enjoy this delicious meal.
And for the hands that prepared it.
We ask you to guide us
towards love and understanding.
[voice becoming muffled] To experience
what it means to be family.
In this life and the next.
[angry shouting]
Thank you, Lord.
[muffled thuds]
[normal audio resumes] Amen.
Amen.
Everything okay?
[Cindy] Yeah.
I just got a chill.
She's thin-skinned, this one.
Not built for Boston winter.
Why don't you go upstairs
and get a different sweater, darling?
No! Don't!
-Whoa!
-Just sit.
Is there a problem?
Sorry, I just
I need a
Um
I'm so sorry.
I'm not feeling well.
Can we go?
Let's go.
-[breathing heavily]
-Slow down.
-Garrett, give me the keys. I'm driving.
-Hannah.
Garrett.
Please.
Wait! Your coats!
Thank you.
I'm gonna go warm up the car.
Your wrist.
It was an accident.
No, it wasn't.
I'm sorry I ruined Thanksgiving.
Your father really wanted us all to
No, you-you-you didn't ruin
You can't stay with him.
Look, he felt awful after.
And it's just
-It's not who he is.
-It's exactly who he is.
He says it's not
gonna happen again, right?
He makes promises. He says he'll change.
It's a lie. It's all a fucking lie.
He doesn't care about you.
He doesn't care about me.
All he cares about is Phil fucking Graham.
That's it.
Listen to me.
My mom didn't have the chance to get out.
But you do.
Please leave.
Please.
It's complicated.
[sighs]
["Over and Over Again"
by Matthew Perryman Jones playing]
-[door closes]
-[sighs]
♪I can see you in myself♪
♪And it's scaring me to death♪
♪You're running from what was♪
♪And what hasn't happened yet♪
♪I can't be someone else♪
♪But I can't be like this♪
♪Any longer♪
♪Guess you give♪
♪What you're given♪
Garrett.
Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm-- I'm fine.
No, you're not.
♪And my heart♪
♪Just gets broken♪
♪Over and over again♪
Garrett, talk to me.
[breathing heavily]
[Garrett grunts]
I couldn't.
It's okay. You're okay.
I couldn't protect her.
My mom, she
I tried, but
I couldn't fight back.
Garrett.
Did he hit you?
[breathing shakily]
♪Guess you give♪
♪What you're given♪
What if, uh
What if I'm just like him?
Hey, you're not.
You
You would never hurt someone like that.
She was scared of me.
-Cindy?
-The way she looked at me.
That was-- That wasn't about you.
She doesn't know you.
Hey.
[sobbing]
♪Guess you give♪
♪What you're given♪
♪You're a world♪
♪I would live in♪
-I'm sorry.
-No, no.
Garrett, come on.
I should've told you everything.
-I should've told you the truth.
-You did.
You did.
♪Over and over again♪
Garrett
What do you need?
Let's just go home.
Yeah. Let's go home.
Okay.
[Tucker] I know this isn't exactly
what we had planned for today,
but I want to thank you all for coming
together to enjoy this once proud bird.
So, without further ado,
let's play!
["Take Me Home, Country Roads" by
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes playing]
♪Almost heaven, West Virginia♪
♪Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River♪
♪Life is old there, older than the trees♪
♪Younger than the mountains
Growin' like a breeze ♪
♪Country roads, take me home♪
[all cheer]
[in Czech] The bird broke into pieces.
-[in English] That doesn't count.
-What?!
Yes, it does.
♪Take me home, country roads♪
♪I hear her voice in the mornin' hour
She calls me♪
♪The radio reminds me
of my home far away♪
♪Drivin' down the road I get a feelin'♪
[loud thump]
[all cheer]
♪Country roads, take me home♪
♪To the place where I belong♪
♪West Virginia, mountain mama♪
♪Take me home♪♪
-[grunts]
-It's a Logan Thanksgiving, motherfuckers!
Whoo!
["Take Me Home, Country Roads" continues]
♪Country roads, take me home♪
♪To the place I belong♪
♪West Virginia, mountain mama♪
♪Take me home, country roads♪
♪Take me home, down country roads♪
♪Take me home, country roads♪♪
-Mm.
-Mm.
This might be the best sandwich
I've ever had.
There's something about cold turkey
that just tastes better.
I think it's the fact
that you don't have to stress about it.
It's cold turkey.
Not going anywhere. It's reliable.
Wellsy
Yeah?
Thank you.
It's just a sandwich.
Still.
Thank you.
Oh, wait.
I forgot, um
It's, uh, it's not mac and cheese
with breadcrumbs, but
My therapist used to say that you can't
let the bad memories erase the good ones.
[Garrett] Hmm.
It seemed like a good one.
It was.
[chuckles]
The cake was still so frozen
that we couldn't cut into it.
[cell phone rings]
Here we go.
Hey, lovebirds. Glad we got you.
Happy Thanksgiving.
-Happy Thanksgiving.
-Happy Thanksgiving.
Hey, wait, let me add Dean.
We gotta get the whole fam here.
-[phone chimes]
-Hello?
Hey! What?
Are you already asleep?
It's called tryptophan, motherfuckers.
-Where are you?
-[Tucker] He's in fucking New York.
On Thanksgiving.
Yankees suck!
[all chanting]
Yankees suck! Yankees suck!
-Yankees suck!
-Yeah, yeah, okay.
Well, at least I'm not freezing
my ass off at the rink.
I don't know.
Last time I checked,
my ass was perfectly intact.
-[Tucker] Ooh, can confirm.
-You guys are so dumb.
Dean, do you never have a shirt on?
Wellsy, don't stoop to their level.
-Happy Thanksgiving!
-Happy Thanksgiving!
-Good night.
-Happy Thanksgiving!
Yes, Happy Thanksgiving, dorks.
[chuckles]
[sighs]
They didn't see you.
["Sue Me" by Audrey Hobert playing]
♪I knew you'd be at the party♪
♪Drinking a Coke and Bacardi♪
♪Not that it matters
but I'm breaking patterns♪
♪And getting so good at Pilates♪
♪Broke up with you in November♪
♪Sorry, I know you remember♪
♪Are you depressed
or are you feeling better?♪
♪'Cause you're looking like
it's the latter♪
♪I've been so careful with you, babe♪
♪But I'm out late♪
♪And being a saint is exhausting♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Just me, or does he look amazing?
♪When he's all in his Amazon Basics?♪
♪Let's rip 'em off, top to bot♪
♪Let's rock♪
♪Suddenly, all the lights are on♪
♪Taking it as a sign from God♪
♪Sign from God♪
♪And I'm saying it over and over again♪
♪I've been so careful with you, babe♪
♪But your line's bait♪
♪So I'm thinking that I'm gonna cross it
Cross it♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted
Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be
Sue me, I wanna be♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be toxic♪
♪Gonna blow up your life like atomic♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be sued
Yeah, I wanna be♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Your face, my face♪
♪It's kismet, babe♪
♪And I won't make you wait
'cause I know that you want it♪
♪Your face, my place♪
♪It's business, babe♪
♪And my roommate is here♪
♪So let's ménage à trois it♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be, uh♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be, yeah♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be
Sue me, I wanna be♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪♪
-Wait?
Are we on the same page here?
Didn't you hear?
I just did a whole thing. It was romantic.
I'm just I don't want
to be your friend, Wellsy.
This isn't how you kiss your friends.
No more Justin.
Music collaboration only.
No more sexy Snapchats.
The unsexiest only.
Deal.
And no more deals.
I can live with that.
[Hannah chuckles]
[sighs]
["Bed on Fire" by G Flip playing]
♪Hey♪
♪Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh♪
♪Preacher said I couldn't get no higher♪
♪Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh♪
♪Playing Jesus like a backseat driver♪
[all cheering]
♪If that's what I get for my desire♪
♪Then watch me set the bed on fire♪
♪She held my hand♪
♪And led me back to the river♪
[indistinct chatter]
♪We drowned our sins all night♪
♪And howled at the moon♪
♪Hey♪
♪I'm running around
I'm running around, it's heaven♪
♪Well, if I'm going down
I'll light a fire for you♪
♪Hey♪
♪Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh♪
♪Preacher said I couldn't get no higher♪
♪Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh♪
♪Playing Jesus like a backseat driver♪
♪If that's what I get for my desire♪
♪Then watch me set the bed on fire♪
[camera shutters click]
♪I tried it, I liked it♪
♪No one found that surprising♪
♪I'll fall asleep
with a match in my hand♪
[both laugh]
♪I tried it, I liked it♪
♪No one found that surprising♪
♪I'll fall asleep
with a match in my hand♪
♪I'll set the bed on fire♪
♪Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh♪
♪Preacher said I couldn't get no higher♪
♪Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh♪
♪Playing Jesus like a backseat driver♪
♪If that's what I get for my desire♪
[gasping]
[Garrett moans]
[gasps]
♪Watch me set the bed on fire♪
[moaning]
♪Watch me set the bed on fire♪♪
[both laugh]
[woman on phone]
Hann?
Did you hear that?
I think the whole campus heard that.
Okay, rude. But that's not--
-Hann?
-Mom?
Are you there? I can't see you.
Fuck! Oh!
♪I'll set the bed on fire♪
♪Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh♪♪
I mean, those kids are a blessing,
but they're a lot.
You say that every year, and every year
you get sad when Aunt Nicole
and everybody leave
and the house is empty again.
I know. What are you doing this year?
Gonna go to Brooklyn with Allie again?
No, Garrett's housemates
are doing Friendsgiving,
-so I'm going to stay for that.
-[text alert]
Friendsgiving?
That sounds so fun.
What are you going to bring?
You said they liked Nana's
lasagna recipe, right?
Yeah, yeah, but
-Well, you can't show up empty-handed.
-We won't.
Text Garrett.
Ask him how many people are going.
Uh, I, um
Garrett?
Wait, he's there?
Uh
Introduce me.
No, Mom.
Garrett, honey, how many people
will be at Friendsgiving?
Hi, Mrs. Wells.
Uh, please, call me Carrie.
Look at you.
You weren't exaggerating, Hannah.
He's so handsome.
-[both laugh]
-Okay, hanging up now.
Garrett, Hannah's dad is going to be
so jealous I met you first.
He's been bragging about you
to all of our friends.
He posted about your game last night.
He wanted to tag you, but don't worry.
I didn't let him.
Just know that you have
a super fan over here.
Mom, they lost last night.
[laughs]
It doesn't matter. He's proud.
Okay, we gotta go. We have class.
Okay, well,
it's nice to meet you, Garrett.
Nice meeting you, too, Mrs
Carrie.
[both chuckle]
Miss and love you, sweet pea.
-[Hannah] Miss and love you, too, Mama.
-Bye.
[Hannah chuckles]
Sorry, she's enthusiastic.
She's sweet. She loves you.
Okay, are you driving or shall I?
I'm not sitting
on your handlebars, Wellsy.
One day, Graham.
One day.
[both laugh]
[sticks slapping on ice]
[bag thuds]
I didn't know how else
to get you to talk to me.
I want you to come home for Thanksgiving.
Are you serious?
Cindy still really wants to meet you
before the wedding,
and I would appreciate it, as well.
Look, I don't know what kind of bullshit
game you're playing, but I don't--
It's not a game, Garrett.
I'm really trying here.
I'm a different man now,
and I don't expect you to understand this,
but Cindy
she's chosen to trust me.
And I want to be someone
worthy of that trust.
Garrett, please.
Just think about it.
It's almost there,
but it's like my advisor said.
I'm just-- I'm not feeling it.
Not yet.
Okay. Uh, fine.
I'll take another crack
at the lyrics over the break.
-Great, yeah, thank you.
-No worries.
See you, Garrett.
Yeah, bud.
Did Julian wipe out again?
Uh, Justin has some cool ideas
for a new verse,
which means that I can take a break
over Thanksgiving.
-Hey, Wellsy.
-Yeah?
Why don't you go home
for the long weekend?
Seems like your parents
would love to see you.
Uh, that-- that place
isn't really my home anymore.
Because of what happened to you?
Yeah, yeah, and what happened after.
Uh, when the guy you accuse
of assault is the mayor's kid,
people don't tend to believe you.
Yeah, it didn't help that his whole team
rallied around him,
testified against me in court.
Some real Hester Prynne bullshit.
He was an athlete?
Yeah.
A hockey player?
Yeah.
Ah, fuck.
Look, that's all in the past now.
He's in the past.
Indiana's just not
my favorite place to go back to.
My parents get it.
Uh, why do you ask?
Uh, my dad wants me to go home
for Thanksgiving and meet his fiancée.
Would you want to?
Maybe.
I don't know.
Uh, yeah, things with my dad
are kind of
It's complicated.
Yeah, well, he's still your dad, right?
Even if he is a hard-ass.
When I saw him before practice,
he seemed, like, different?
Good different?
Well, I don't know
if he's capable of that, but
But you hope so.
Look, I think people
can change if they want to.
So you're saying you think
I should give him another chance?
If that's what you want.
If I go
will you come with me?
Of course.
Are you-- Are you sure?
That's what girlfriends do.
Real ones, anyway.
[both laugh]
Thank you.
[sighs]
Am I getting faster?
Oh, I lost interest in that.
You look good.
Mean.
-Like "tough" mean or "you" mean?
-Hmm.
-Zdeno Chara mean.
-Oh.
You can never pull off "me" mean.
[chuckles] I'll take it.
By these pictures, I'd almost assume
you weren't into Garrett's girlfriend.
-Because I'm not!
-Uh-huh.
[scoffs]
[cell phone ringer vibrating]
Ah. Looks like you drew the short straw.
Want me to put it on speaker?
I'd rather keep skating suicides.
She's probably having
a hard time right now.
Because she'll be alone on Thanksgiving?
She did that to herself.
She's trying, dude.
She's always trying.
[vibrating continues]
Better get that.
Hi, Mom.
This, gentlemen, is 25 pounds
of pure poultry perfection.
[loud thud]
-[Logan] That's a big-ass turkey.
-Damn straight.
We're gonna kill Thanksgiving.
Unlike last year
when everyone "brought" something
and all we had to eat was a turkey
and 300 Miller High Life's.
Champagne of beers.
I actually want to remember
my Thanksgiving this year.
Which is why I've put it upon myself
to handle all food preparations.
Because this year
is going to be the best Thanksgiving.
The perfect Thanksgiving.
-Holy shit.
-Fucking hell.
Since I can't go home,
I've decided to make
all my mama's greatest hits from scratch.
We got three kinds of pie,
two kinds of cranberry sauces,
and more sweet potatoes
than you can shake a stick at.
And the pièce de résistance.
The Tucker family deep-fried turkey.
All rights reserved, 1985.
-Can I go work out now?
-I don't think he's done.
No. No, no, no. I'm very much not done.
A general is only as good
as his troops, okay?
Where is Garrett?
[laughing] Are we supposed
to be your troops?
I'm not leaving anything up to chance.
This, my friends,
will be a military operation.
You all have jobs to do, okay?
Where the fuck is Garrett?
-What's up?
-Garrett.
Thank you for finally joining us.
You and Wellsy will handle
the pie crust from Della's backstock.
For?
Thanksgiving.
Oh, right. Sorry, Tuck.
Hannah and I are going to my dad's
place in Boston. Can't make it.
What? No.
Okay.
No problem. No problem.
Dean, you can handle all his stuff, okay?
No, I would be all over that,
but I am road-tripping
-down to New York tomorrow with Bella.
-Oh, no, dude.
-No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
-Blackout Wednesday, dude.
Drinksgiving? Why would I be drunk here
when I could be drunk there?
Sorry, bro. See you next year.
So, the friends
are abandoning Friendsgiving.
Who needs them?
Jules and I are here, it's gonna be
the perfect fucking Thanksgiving.
What do you need?
I'll send you my to-do list.
[phone chimes]
-[Logan] Damn.
-[Tucker] I know.
It's glorious.
I'm so depressed you're not coming
to Brooklyn with me this year.
Me, too.
But I want to be there for Garrett.
As much as I love
watching Aunt Kathy get drunk
and busting out her old cheer routine.
-God, old gal's still got the splits.
-[laughs]
It's your first Thanksgiving without Sean.
How are you doing?
Honestly, I am loving my single life.
I'm Yasmina in season two
of Al Nisa Alashba.
Doesn't she fall into a coma
for most of that season?
Yes, but before that,
she is single and thriving.
As am I.
Just not getting tied down,
focusing on myself and my acting.
-That's it.
-Well, I am proud of you.
Well, you, too.
Meeting Garrett's dad,
being a good girlfriend and shit.
-[both laugh]
-You nervous?
Uh, no.
I mean, he's famous, right?
Yeah, yeah, okay, I'm a little nervous,
but not because he's famous.
Just I don't know.
The way Garrett talks about him,
he seems like really intense.
Yeah, I've seen him at games.
Does the man ever smile?
I don't think so.
Well, don't stress.
It's not about him liking you.
It's about Garrett.
And he already likes you.
Yeah, I just think it's really important
to Garrett that this goes well.
That's what relationships are for,
honey bun.
Supporting each other.
Helping each other grow as people.
It can't all be about sex and fun.
[cell phone vibrates]
Oh, shit. The bus is almost here.
Gotta go.
Well, no, Garrett can just drive you.
No, it's fine. I love a bus.
You hate a bus.
It's fine.
I love you. Happy Thanksgiving.
Love you. [laughs]
-[Tucker] 425 for how long?
-[Gail on phone] Thirty minutes.
Use that time to prep the turkey
before it has to go in.
-And don't forget to--
-Pat-dry the bird.
I know. I know. Can't be wet.
Unless you want a crispy turkey
and no eyebrows like Uncle Pete.
And don't skimp on the marshmallows
for the sweet potato casserole.
Ooh, slivers, dude.
Dude, slivers.
Just easy.
-Yes, chef.
-There you go.
Just remember to drop the turkey in
exactly one hour
before your sides are ready.
One hour. Got it.
First Thanksgiving
you're cooking all on your own.
It's weird doing all this without you.
Miss you, too, JT.
But I'm right there with you.
I can practically smell
the sweat and testosterone.
-[laughs]
-Fair.
Just don't want to screw anything up.
-It has to be perfect.
-No such thing.
It's not the food.
It's the comfort and love
that make the food.
Did you just quote the Barefoot Contessa?
Or did she quote me?
No way of knowing, is there?
[laughs]
Gravy, gotta go.
Love you, baby.
Perfect. Yes. Yes.
Where were the marshmallows?
I just saw them five seconds ago.
Where could they possibly go?
One, two, three.
They were just here.
What are you doing?
Keeping our family tradition alive.
I'm trying to have a normal
Thanksgiving right now, okay?
What's normal? Turkey, pumpkin pie?
Boo, boring.
Say what you will about Mom,
we always had fun.
Okay, you have a very interesting,
selective memory.
Can't we just enjoy this, please?
You are ruining Tuck's Thanksgiving.
[Tucker] They were just here.
The marshmallows were just here.
Party people!
-Happy Thanksgiving!
-Oh! Birdie!
Nats! Thank God!
-I thought we'd have too much food.
-Not a chance. We brought friends.
And we brought wine.
Oh, six. Six more people.
Hi, Kendall. Great.
That's perfect, I can do that. Yeah.
Hi, how you doing?
-Hi. Hi.
-Hi, Tucker. Thanks for having us.
-[indistinct chatter]
-Good to see you.
Is it possible to double a sweet potato
casserole in one dish?
You're asking me?
I got this.
This is a bad idea.
[Hannah] Yeah, you're right.
Who brings a key lime pie to Thanksgiving?
Why didn't you stop me? Pumpkin?
Pumpkin is the thing.
Or maybe I should have brought wine.
I meant my dad, Wellsy.
-Oh, right.
-[both laugh]
And we can go at any point.
Just give me the signal,
and we'll get the fuck out.
-The signal?
-Yeah.
Like, I don't know,
squeeze my hand or something.
Once means you're good.
Two squeezes, and we're gone.
[laughs]
[sighs]
Or we go?
Or Or we stay?
You gotta give me something here.
[laughs]
All right, we stay.
Okay.
First step, getting out the car.
-[laughs]
-Yeah.
[doorbell rings]
Garrett, you made it.
Dad.
And you must be Hannah.
-Glad to finally meet you.
-Hi.
Sorry, I'd shake your hand, but--
Oh, I'll take that.
Pie!
Oh, it's key lime.
You love key lime.
-He loves key lime.
-I do, it's the superior pie, thank you.
Well, don't let the poor kids
freeze out there.
Come in.
I'm gonna put this in the fridge.
I'll take your coats.
Thank you.
Thanks.
[Hannah sighs]
It's a nice house.
-Yeah.
-[laughs]
Aw! Look at you.
Oh.
They look alike, don't they?
It's uncanny.
I'm so glad you're here, Garrett.
I can't wait to hear
all about how the season's going.
[laughs]
Come on, I'll put the game on.
It's you versus me, kid.
Rangers, Bruins.
Actually, is it cool
if I show Hannah around first?
Yeah, of course.
You don't have to ask permission.
This is your house, too.
Here, I'll give you the tour.
Cool.
[knock on door]
Thank you so much.
Thank you for coming.
Who is that now?
We come bearing alcohol.
And we got tiny little boxes of cereal
stolen from the dining hall.
Hey, look, Tuck. More people.
Hannah said orphans were welcome.
They are. They are, yes.
Uh, just grab a seat.
Jules will grab you a drink.
Yeah. Just make yourselves at home
here in the living room.
Okay, thank you, guys. Happy Thanksgiving.
[all] Happy Thanksgiving.
[stove beeps]
Why is the stuffing not in the oven yet?
Because the corn pudding and the green
bean casserole are already in there.
Here, please consult the oven schedule.
I did all the math.
The stuffing needs to hang out
in the neutral zone.
-It only takes 30 minutes.
-[stove beeps]
If you guys were half as good at hockey
Jules, I can't right now.
Please.
-Go.
-Gravy. Guys, please.
-Somebody taste it. Thank you.
-Logan, try it.
And for the end of the tour, this is me.
You okay?
Yeah, yeah, it's just weird
being back here.
After my mom died,
I went off to boarding school,
and I never really lived here again.
Yeah, I can tell. [laughs]
Is your dad running
a storage business on the side?
[both chuckle]
This is just all the stuff he signs
when he goes to mall appearances
or conventions or whatever.
Right.
Trying to keep the legend alive.
His best years are behind him.
Are you afraid that'll happen to you?
This is what success
looks like, eventually.
Or I could tear my ACL tomorrow
and get stuck bagging groceries
at the Stop 'N' Shop.
Not that--
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Hey, my mom works at Bob's Market, so
Yeah, not-- Yeah, that wasn't really
a dream, either, so
What was?
I don't know. She-- She was a singer.
Her high school choir
won a bunch of competitions,
but I don't know,
she never really went for it.
She must be proud of you, then.
Yeah, I just think
she wants me to be happy.
My dad, he's not really like that.
Or, I don't know about now, but he wasn't.
Not just with hockey, with everything.
He was always
so
Intense?
Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Yeah, seriously intense.
Yeah, I don't know,
it just seems kind of sad.
Like you wake up one morning
and can't play hockey anymore.
Would you miss it?
It's the only thing I'm good at.
That's not true. And that's not an answer.
[laughs]
I think I would be
like, relieved.
[cell phone vibrates]
Sorry.
Uh, Allie said that they wanted
to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving.
Take it.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I've got this.
Okay.
Hey.
[laughing] Oh, my gosh!
Hi, everyone.
Okay, we have more people here
than a Walmart on a Black Friday.
We are going to loaves and fishes
this whole thing.
I'mma go get potatoes
from the extra fridge, and then, um
-Pat-dry?
-pat-dry the bird, yes.
-Yes.
-Go get 'em, buddy.
Wait, wait, wait.
No marshmallows on the sweet potatoes?
[man] They're already sweet.
Okay, that's fucking blasphemy.
You're a blasphemer.
I will die on this hill.
We never had marshmallows
on our sweet potatoes.
-We never had sweet potatoes.
-I had a sweet potato taco one year.
Tacos? On Thanksgiving?
It's actually the best time
for tacos, honestly.
Especially when your big bro has a sweet
sponsorship deal with Taco Shack.
Ah. They're open on Thanksgiving?
Yeah, they're the only place
open on Thanksgiving.
And we learned that the hard way
when our mom got drunk one year
and forgot she was grilling chicken.
The propane tank almost leveled the block.
-Whoa.
-It was a blessing, actually.
Mama Logan was never known
for her cooking.
I know.
We should bring Mom Taco Shack.
Absolutely not.
Well, she's probably surrounded
by strangers
eating gross rehab food right now.
So?
So, she needs our support.
Should we be here for this?
I supported her the last time she went in,
and the time before that,
and the time before that.
It's Thanksgiving,
and she's fucking family, John.
She's in fucking rehab, Jules.
Exactly.
She's
She's trying.
Okay, new plan.
I'm gonna whip up some spinach casserole.
What?
You know what? Forget it.
I'll go myself.
Tucker! My friend.
We are here.
Yes. Yes, you are.
I'm so sorry to be late.
Uh-huh.
-So, Yanis from Latvia.
-Hi.
-Uh, Cheryl from Philippines.
-Hi.
-You know Arjun?
-Mm-mm. Hi.
-And Karl Heinz.
-Hello! Karl Heinz.
[all laugh]
-[glass shatters]
-[Lexi] Sorry.
You know what, boys and girls?
I need space to work.
Everybody, we are going
to take this shindig outside.
Let's go. Outside. Outside, guys.
-Outside, guys.
-[man] Outside.
Thank you, guys.
-[indistinct chatter]
-Thank you, guys.
[exhales]
[TV announcer] The Bruins started the day
three points clear
of fifth-place Philadelphia,
and fourth in the East.
The game is on.
It looked like the Bruins
are gonna get that puck out.
I heard you stopped by
and saw a Bruins practice.
Yeah.
You get a chance to show off?
Yeah, a little bit.
Attaboy.
Cindy seems nice.
She is.
Knows hockey, too.
Penguins fan, but we're working on that.
All right. Good.
-[cheering on TV]
-Mm!
-There you go.
-Fuckin' A.
There you go.
Bonneville is giving the Bruins trouble.
He's too fast for the D.
Yeah, but he's slow on the backtrack.
They've just got to get
the puck off him first.
Mm. I bet the Bruins would love having you
on the ice a year early, huh?
They don't need me yet.
Fontano's got a few seasons left in him.
Plus, I'm not ready yet.
I want to graduate.
[announcer] We'll be right back
after this commercial break.
That's a smart choice, Garrett.
Probably good to be a little bit older
before you go pro.
Eighteen was really young for me
to be thrown in the deep end.
You'll be better equipped
to handle the pressure.
[announcer]
And we're back.
Face off won by Levy
and the Bruins set it up.
The Rangers' penalty killing
has been outstanding.
A huge factor in the game
against the Bruins today.
Okay, are you alone now?
Can we talk about Aunt Kathy's
new British accent?
And she goes by Kiara now.
It's like a whole thing.
Wasn't she in London for, like, a week?
-[boisterous chatter]
-[cell phone vibrating]
-Al?
-Huh?
Um, no, yeah, totally.
Uh, okay, what-- What's going on?
Nothing, it's just like everyone's over.
Hey, if you're busy, I
Hey, Allie Hayes, I can hear your nails.
Who are you texting?
What? Nobody.
It's Sean.
-You're backsliding.
-Am not.
Hey, it's okay.
[laughs]
It's my dad. He, uh
He can't find the remote again. He--
I swear he has ADHD,
but his generation's undiagnosable.
Oh, okay.
Hey, I should probably go help.
Um, love you, miss you. Gobble, gobble.
-[call disconnects]
-Oh
[sighs]
[chuckles]
Happy Thanksgiving.
-You have an appointment?
-Hi.
No, I'm-- I'm here for Jean Logan.
And when did she check in?
Last week.
I'm sorry, new intakes
don't have visitation privileges yet.
No, I, uh I have a delivery.
Can you just tell her it's from Jules?
[Logan] And John.
Excuse me?
I paid for this with my hard-earned cash.
Well, I'll Venmo you.
Jules and John, thank you.
[receptionist] Any particular message?
"Happy Thanksgiving," or
Actually, uh, contraband, please.
It's a family tradition.
She'll get it.
Thank you.
It'll mean a lot to her.
Well, I'm here
because it means a lot to you.
And you're right.
She is trying.
So, what do you say we hit
the hardware store on the way back?
For real?
I mean, we gotta shore up our supplies
if we're gonna spread
the Logan love this holiday season.
In that case, we'd better hit
the Stop 'N' Shop, too.
One bag of marshmallows
ain't gonna cut it.
-[snaps fingers]
-Let's go. Come on.
[timers beeping]
♪I'm your leader, I'm your teacher
I'm your Michelin Man♪
-Status check.
-All sides in the oven. Chef.
T-minus one hour. Chef.
-I've always wanted to say that.
-We crushed it.
Which means, mis amigos,
it is time to deep-fry the turkey!
[all cheer]
-Simms, you ready?
-Let's fucking do this.
[all] Ten, nine, eight,
seven, six, five,
four, three, two,
one!
Wait, I forgot to pat-dry the bird!
Oh!
["National Treasure"
by Barns Courtney playing]
-[man] Bonfire party!
-[cheering]
[mellow dinner music playing]
You guys are in for quite a treat.
Cindy's mashed potatoes
are really something.
And dairy-free.
It's a happy accident, Hannah.
I asked Cindy to, uh,
make the mac and cheese
-With the breadcrumbs, uh-huh.
-With the breadcrumbs.
-Like Mom used to make.
-[Phil] Mm-hmm.
I didn't want to overstep.
[Garrett] No.
No, that's-- that's very kind. Thank you.
[Phil] Thanks for coming.
It means a lot to me.
Phil, would you?
Yes, of course.
We should say a little grace
before we dig in.
Oh.
Yeah.
Lord, thank you for this wonderful bounty
you have bestowed upon us.
Thank you for bringing us all together
to enjoy this delicious meal.
And for the hands that prepared it.
We ask you to guide us
towards love and understanding.
[voice becoming muffled] To experience
what it means to be family.
In this life and the next.
[angry shouting]
Thank you, Lord.
[muffled thuds]
[normal audio resumes] Amen.
Amen.
Everything okay?
[Cindy] Yeah.
I just got a chill.
She's thin-skinned, this one.
Not built for Boston winter.
Why don't you go upstairs
and get a different sweater, darling?
No! Don't!
-Whoa!
-Just sit.
Is there a problem?
Sorry, I just
I need a
Um
I'm so sorry.
I'm not feeling well.
Can we go?
Let's go.
-[breathing heavily]
-Slow down.
-Garrett, give me the keys. I'm driving.
-Hannah.
Garrett.
Please.
Wait! Your coats!
Thank you.
I'm gonna go warm up the car.
Your wrist.
It was an accident.
No, it wasn't.
I'm sorry I ruined Thanksgiving.
Your father really wanted us all to
No, you-you-you didn't ruin
You can't stay with him.
Look, he felt awful after.
And it's just
-It's not who he is.
-It's exactly who he is.
He says it's not
gonna happen again, right?
He makes promises. He says he'll change.
It's a lie. It's all a fucking lie.
He doesn't care about you.
He doesn't care about me.
All he cares about is Phil fucking Graham.
That's it.
Listen to me.
My mom didn't have the chance to get out.
But you do.
Please leave.
Please.
It's complicated.
[sighs]
["Over and Over Again"
by Matthew Perryman Jones playing]
-[door closes]
-[sighs]
♪I can see you in myself♪
♪And it's scaring me to death♪
♪You're running from what was♪
♪And what hasn't happened yet♪
♪I can't be someone else♪
♪But I can't be like this♪
♪Any longer♪
♪Guess you give♪
♪What you're given♪
Garrett.
Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm-- I'm fine.
No, you're not.
♪And my heart♪
♪Just gets broken♪
♪Over and over again♪
Garrett, talk to me.
[breathing heavily]
[Garrett grunts]
I couldn't.
It's okay. You're okay.
I couldn't protect her.
My mom, she
I tried, but
I couldn't fight back.
Garrett.
Did he hit you?
[breathing shakily]
♪Guess you give♪
♪What you're given♪
What if, uh
What if I'm just like him?
Hey, you're not.
You
You would never hurt someone like that.
She was scared of me.
-Cindy?
-The way she looked at me.
That was-- That wasn't about you.
She doesn't know you.
Hey.
[sobbing]
♪Guess you give♪
♪What you're given♪
♪You're a world♪
♪I would live in♪
-I'm sorry.
-No, no.
Garrett, come on.
I should've told you everything.
-I should've told you the truth.
-You did.
You did.
♪Over and over again♪
Garrett
What do you need?
Let's just go home.
Yeah. Let's go home.
Okay.
[Tucker] I know this isn't exactly
what we had planned for today,
but I want to thank you all for coming
together to enjoy this once proud bird.
So, without further ado,
let's play!
["Take Me Home, Country Roads" by
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes playing]
♪Almost heaven, West Virginia♪
♪Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River♪
♪Life is old there, older than the trees♪
♪Younger than the mountains
Growin' like a breeze ♪
♪Country roads, take me home♪
[all cheer]
[in Czech] The bird broke into pieces.
-[in English] That doesn't count.
-What?!
Yes, it does.
♪Take me home, country roads♪
♪I hear her voice in the mornin' hour
She calls me♪
♪The radio reminds me
of my home far away♪
♪Drivin' down the road I get a feelin'♪
[loud thump]
[all cheer]
♪Country roads, take me home♪
♪To the place where I belong♪
♪West Virginia, mountain mama♪
♪Take me home♪♪
-[grunts]
-It's a Logan Thanksgiving, motherfuckers!
Whoo!
["Take Me Home, Country Roads" continues]
♪Country roads, take me home♪
♪To the place I belong♪
♪West Virginia, mountain mama♪
♪Take me home, country roads♪
♪Take me home, down country roads♪
♪Take me home, country roads♪♪
-Mm.
-Mm.
This might be the best sandwich
I've ever had.
There's something about cold turkey
that just tastes better.
I think it's the fact
that you don't have to stress about it.
It's cold turkey.
Not going anywhere. It's reliable.
Wellsy
Yeah?
Thank you.
It's just a sandwich.
Still.
Thank you.
Oh, wait.
I forgot, um
It's, uh, it's not mac and cheese
with breadcrumbs, but
My therapist used to say that you can't
let the bad memories erase the good ones.
[Garrett] Hmm.
It seemed like a good one.
It was.
[chuckles]
The cake was still so frozen
that we couldn't cut into it.
[cell phone rings]
Here we go.
Hey, lovebirds. Glad we got you.
Happy Thanksgiving.
-Happy Thanksgiving.
-Happy Thanksgiving.
Hey, wait, let me add Dean.
We gotta get the whole fam here.
-[phone chimes]
-Hello?
Hey! What?
Are you already asleep?
It's called tryptophan, motherfuckers.
-Where are you?
-[Tucker] He's in fucking New York.
On Thanksgiving.
Yankees suck!
[all chanting]
Yankees suck! Yankees suck!
-Yankees suck!
-Yeah, yeah, okay.
Well, at least I'm not freezing
my ass off at the rink.
I don't know.
Last time I checked,
my ass was perfectly intact.
-[Tucker] Ooh, can confirm.
-You guys are so dumb.
Dean, do you never have a shirt on?
Wellsy, don't stoop to their level.
-Happy Thanksgiving!
-Happy Thanksgiving!
-Good night.
-Happy Thanksgiving!
Yes, Happy Thanksgiving, dorks.
[chuckles]
[sighs]
They didn't see you.
["Sue Me" by Audrey Hobert playing]
♪I knew you'd be at the party♪
♪Drinking a Coke and Bacardi♪
♪Not that it matters
but I'm breaking patterns♪
♪And getting so good at Pilates♪
♪Broke up with you in November♪
♪Sorry, I know you remember♪
♪Are you depressed
or are you feeling better?♪
♪'Cause you're looking like
it's the latter♪
♪I've been so careful with you, babe♪
♪But I'm out late♪
♪And being a saint is exhausting♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Just me, or does he look amazing?
♪When he's all in his Amazon Basics?♪
♪Let's rip 'em off, top to bot♪
♪Let's rock♪
♪Suddenly, all the lights are on♪
♪Taking it as a sign from God♪
♪Sign from God♪
♪And I'm saying it over and over again♪
♪I've been so careful with you, babe♪
♪But your line's bait♪
♪So I'm thinking that I'm gonna cross it
Cross it♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted
Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be
Sue me, I wanna be♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be toxic♪
♪Gonna blow up your life like atomic♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be sued
Yeah, I wanna be♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪
♪Your face, my face♪
♪It's kismet, babe♪
♪And I won't make you wait
'cause I know that you want it♪
♪Your face, my place♪
♪It's business, babe♪
♪And my roommate is here♪
♪So let's ménage à trois it♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be, uh♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be, yeah♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be
Sue me, I wanna be♪
♪Sue me, I wanna be wanted♪♪