Sanda (2025) s01e05 Episode Script

Typhoon #2 is expected to make landfall
in the Kanto region this afternoon,
where it will remain for the next month
with its strength undiminished.
We ask that our listeners be careful
when they venture outdoors.
Santa Claus goes into cardiopulmonary
arrest if he falls in love with a child?
Now that's a disturbing thought. Does he
die the instant he realizes he's in love?
Or when they kiss?
Or when they do it?
Now who's being disturbing?
Anyway, that's just the rumor
going around the office.
I learned from fighting him
that he's basically unkillable.
If he can only die if a specific set of
conditions are met, that'd explain a lot.
Yagiuda, are you sure
you don't have more intel on him?
If we don't capture Santa next time,
we're gonna be fired for sure!
Finding a new job in Japan these days
is next to impossible.
Ask somebody who's better at this job.
I'm the only one who knows
about Santa's alter ego.
Like I'm gonna let juicy intel
like that go for free!
CUP RAMEN BAR
Sounds like this typhoon
is gonna be a big one.
Okay, kid.
Just you wait.
I went and became an adult
We're two sides of the same coin,
with you still a kid
I went and blurted out the words
I'll never be able to take them back
There's nothing righteous
about unrequited feelings,
so let things stay as is
In the gaps between the seasons
that whiz by,
I was crying,
and I bet I always will
You don't believe, do you?
In despair? Being moved?
Unable to take it anymore, the night
that had turned white now turns black
Nothing's going to change
ever again? I just don't know!
I've been clinging to this moment
no matter what,
and I pray that today
my wish will come true
DON'T STOP
I won't forget the adultish heart
I stole from you ever again
Because neither the me that grew up
nor you will ever change
It's okay
Because I still haven't forgotten
the adultish heart I stole
Because even though I've changed,
I'm still me
Regrets, hopes and prayers,
Children, me,
I don't understand any of it
You can believe in wishes coming true,
but who I am will never end
Yes!
The sight of boobs
is doing nothing for me!
EPISODE 5:
A TYPHOON IN A SNOW GLOBE
Dozono!
Sorry, he must be loopy
from lack of sleep!
Aren't I amazing, Amaya?
An eyeful of those voluptuous curves
and not even a tingle!
I'm gonna lose weight!
I'm gonna lose weight!
What was that all about?
What happened?
Amaya
I figured it out.
Santa isn't allowed to have a sex drive!
Let me guess, did something
happen with Fuyumura?
No!
But it'll be bad news if it ever does.
Whenever I feel
like I'm falling for Fuyumura,
I get this overwhelming sense
of self-loathing.
My Santa senses are growing day by day.
And Fuyumura the more I get to know
her, the more endearing she becomes.
Endearing? Are we talking
about the same Fuyumura?
Don't tell me you already
No, absolutely not!
For the time being,
I see her as a child I want to protect!
I'll never fall in love or get married!
Ah But if that's the case, Sanda,
what will you say to you-know-who?
Huh? You-know-who?
Oh, crap!
I forgot all about her.
My fiancée.
Niko Kazao.
Hey.
Gosh, where did my broom go?
I can't do any cleaning without it.
I guess I have to bail
on cleaning duty today!
This is why I never want to talk to her!
Niko! There's something
I need to talk to you about today!
Talk to me?
I forget, do we have any shared interests
that we might talk about, Kazzy?
Of course we don't.
I mean,
our relationship only extends to us being
state-mandated marriage partners.
MARRIAGE NOTICE
IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT MARRIAGE
Getting married and having kids
have been made mandatory in the hopes
of fighting the declining birth rate.
In other words, romantic interest
between the two of us
is nonexistent.
Oh, right! There is something
we have in common to talk about!
Here's the 500 yen
I borrowed from you earlier!
Gum? Gross!
You could sell it for 10 times that much!
You should be thanking me!
I'm done for today! I'm gonna drop
a massive deuce and head back to the dorm!
Hey, wait!
It's not like either one of us has
ever had any interest in this marriage
so let's make a clean break
and be done with it!
The thing is
I can't marry you!
Huh? What was that?
-Huh?
-The typhoon's too loud!
I'm never gonna be able to relax
and take a dump with all this racket!
The way the wind is howling,
the whole building is gonna be torn apart.
They probably won't let us
leave the building for the time being.
Why can't we leave?
-Huh?
-Why?
Well, because it's dangerous, that's why.
I'm secretly Santa,
and everybody here is a kid.
I'm not allowed to fall in love,
much less get married.
What're you talking about?
We're both 14.
If we don't flirt with danger a little
when we're young,
we'll never grow up
to be well-adjusted adults.
To make it worse, our whole lives
are totally sheltered and micromanaged.
If we don't take the initiative while we
can to run wild and get people mad at us,
I'd regret it forever.
I think this'll open.
Niko! Cut it out!
Niko! Come back inside!
Kazzy!
Get your butt out here!
It's like being inside a washing machine!
Nobody calls me "Kazzy" but Niko.
I know it's just because
engaged couples are encouraged
to call each other by their first names.
Kazzy!
Over here, over here!
My feet moved of their own accord.
Like I was being enticed forward
by this roar that felt loud enough
to tear Santa out of me.
Niko!
We're both 14. If we don't flirt
with danger a little when we're young,
we'll never grow up
to be well-adjusted adults.
Who's she kidding?
I can never go back
to being a normal 14-year-old!
Niko
I can't get married to you!
Here I am!
Hubby!
O-Okay! That's our cue!
This is so friggin' fun!
Let's go back to the building!
Staying indoors on a day with a typhoon
is something only a dumbass would do!
Rumor in school has it that this typhoon
is the handiwork of God-pa.
I don't believe it, though.
I don't believe
in any fantastical creatures!
Because my reality
is way better than any fantasy!
Huh? Kazzy
You just made a face that said,
"This is my ideal wife."
Huh?
I-I did no
I didn't expect you
to actually follow me out into a typhoon.
I love spending time
with someone I can have fun with!
I've changed my mind about you!
The typhoon
I think you and I are gonna make
a friggin' awesome couple.
is driving Santa bonkers.
I couldn't say it.
I'm Santa.
I can't fall in love with a child.
Still
what's the harm?
Of me having moments
when I can be a snotty-nosed kid again?
Just when I resigned myself
to never having a normal youth
who wouldn't
be happy about little stuff like this?
She threw another picture of a turd
at my head!
I'm gonna get her back 100 times over!
I'd like to introduce you all
to a new teacher.
Come on up, Teacher. The room is yours.
I'm Saburo Yagiuda.
Huh?
I'm joining the faculty as the academy's
P.E. teacher starting today.
Nice to meet you all.
I-It's him!
Now, given that a shady character has
been lurking around this class recently,
I think I ought to start by focusing
on teaching you self-defense.
I assumed he'd come back
for another go at me
but not strolling
right into the classroom!
You're Sanda,
one of the class representatives, right?
There are a few things I'd like to run by
you, so can you stick around after school?
S-Sure.
But
how?
This is my heart, Yagiuda.
I'm currently using an artificial one
to stay alive and to maintain my youth.
The organ that I'd removed on my
90th birthday is kept preserved in here.
If you fail to capture Santa again,
I will have this heart implanted into you.
He is still somewhere
on school grounds, right?
Yes. It's safe to assume so.
Start working undercover in the school.
And
before the typhoon leaves,
see to it that you capture him.
A little under a month, then.
Not to worry!
If you fail, you'll simply
be fast-forwarded to 90 years of age.
I'm sure I don't need to tell you
why I asked you here.
Yes, I can guess.
So, tell me, Santa.
How does it feel to suddenly become old?
W-Well
This is just me
but compared to when I'm
in my younger body, I've learned
how to put up a bit of a fight!
I'm gonna put up as big a fight as I can.
Putting up a fight, huh?
Then I guess
I'm fighting for my life!
It's like punching mochi!
Hey! Why'd you turn back into a kid?
Dammit, I decked a kid!
That has to be the worst sensation
in the world!
Says the guy
who casually shot me with a gun!
I don't wanna punch a kid!
Hang on
Why?
This has never happened to me before!
I can't turn into Santa
even with a red jacket on?
Are you kidding me?
If I can't prove that this kid is Santa
Sorry about the cheek.
there's no point in fighting him!
No, that's okay.
Wait, does this mean
my Santa powers are fading?
SQUID CHIPS
Kazao, you've got a visitor.
Hey, Fuyu. What's up?
I want you to keep your hands
off of my Sanda from now on.
PLENTY
So?
"Plenty"?
Fuyu
How long have you been in love with Kazzy?
It's "Sanda."
"I never said the first thing
about having feelings for him."
"A cold fish like me
could never fall for a guy like him."
That's what you sound like!
He's never gonna return your interest,
not like that!
"I want you to keep your hands
off of my Sanda from now on."
What made me say something like that?
Am I even more dependent on Sanda
than I thought?
Still, Kazzy and I are basically
free agents until we get married.
Feel free to make a move on him
if you wish.
Because
the more people there are
who are jealous of us,
the more passionate
our relationship will be!
RUMBLE RUMBLE
Huh? Why are you standing up?
I'm intimidating you.
Oh, most people are intimidated
by your height when you do that?
A word of advice, I don't recommend using
that tactic in the context of romance.
Straight talk! You can land
your average 14-year-old boy-child
just by letting him
see your boobs or touch 'em!
Then again, I'm his fiancée,
so take my advice with a grain of salt.
I-I keep telling you,
that's not what I'm trying to say!
There's something that Sanda and I
have to see through together!
By which you mean
finding out where Ono went?
You did hold that class meeting, remember?
I just wanted that stupid thing to end
so we could leave.
Sorry for pulling that lie out of my ass.
What?
It was you who lied?
So much for the lead we thought we found!
You sure did love Ono!
You're the type
that swings both ways, Fuyu?
Who floats your boat more, Kazzy or Ono?
It's a moot question
with a body like this.
When I look at it in the mirror
I can't figure out who I am.
Kazao is ready to grow
into her feminine body.
And her voice is high.
I'm flat-chested, lean and lanky
182 centimeters tall.
My voice is low.
My whole life, I've always been unsure
about whether I'm a boy or a girl,
a child or an adult.
It was only when I was with Ono
that I could simply be Shiori Fuyumura.
I miss Ono!
I have to find her soon.
Why is it that I suddenly
can't turn into Santa?
You may be Santa, but your mind and body
are going through puberty.
Going through sudden changes
is par for the course.
Why do you think
you were able to turn into Santa before?
Well, I'm Santa's descendant, for one
and because I got roped into all this
by Fuyumura and Amaya
because they both want
something from me as Santa Claus.
And the harder I try,
the more I learn that I don't have
what it takes to be Santa.
Man, seeing him beating himself up like
this, he's just an ordinary kid, isn't he?
I want to help him out in spite of myself.
My first day working undercover,
and I'm already acting like a teacher.
The power that kids have
is some scary stuff!
CHILDREN ARE TREASURES
Ono! Am I dreaming?
Fuyumura! Thank goodness!
Ono! I'm never letting you go!
How are you here? What happened?
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see you!
I knew that you always do
your laundry alone at this hour,
so I thought I might find you here!
Hmm? What is it?
Nothing.
Huh? Ono?
You seem different somehow.
I do?
Did something happen? You seem
Fuyumura
You haven't changed one bit.
It's as if time has stood still
around just you.
You're not an adult, you're not a child.
Like you've been set free
from time and space.
I've wanted that endlessly free body
of yours for so long.
Why didn't you kiss me that day?
I wanted your body and soul so badly.
I never wanted to become an adult.
So, let's make time stand still, okay?
If the alternative is to become an adult
in this country
then I'd rather the two of us
stop time together here, Fuyumura.
L-Let's not do anything rash, Ono.
Everything will be okay.
You can talk to me.
"Let's not do anything rash"?
What's that?
What's that grown-up line coming from you?
When did you turn into that kind of adult?
You were such a perfect child
not long ago!
Don't act so mature!
Be the nonconformist you were that day!
That's what I
loved about you!
You slept soundly every night as if
you weren't afraid of what might happen!
To be honest, Fuyumura
before you, I had never seen
a child asleep before.
She's asleep again.
Good morning.
Oh, crap. I guess I fell asleep
right after classes ended yesterday.
G-Good morning.
Look, Fuyumura, a child
shouldn't just sleep carelessly like that!
I was a nervous wreck watching you!
I can't help it, I love sleeping.
Don't worry, I'm fine.
Kids in this day and age
don't sleep much, and they shouldn't.
As a result of vaccinations
from infancy
VACCINES
ADVANCED DIE
and an advanced diet
SLEEP
we no longer require sleep.
Sleep is a dreadful, vile practice
that speeds up a child's physical
and mental development.
That's why we're taught
to simply lie awake in bed all night.
If you fall asleep, it's all over!
The onset of puberty
can happen in a single night!
Your body will be flooded
with growth hormones!
Doesn't that frighten you?
I've been a giant ever since I was a kid.
I don't think that puber-whatever
is gonna come for me.
Plus, being so big has lots of perks.
I can pat you on the head
from way up here.
I couldn't tell her.
That the real reason I didn't want her to
sleep is because I missed her every night.
I wanted to spend the whole night talking.
When you fall asleep, I'm all alone.
The Daikoku Welfare Academy school uniform
is slacks for both boys and girls.
Apparently, it's to ensure that
the students don't have any
untoward feelings toward the opposite sex.
But that doesn't matter.
The gender I was crazy about
was the one that's unique to Fuyumura.
You sure do like to sleep.
I bet the reason your hair grows so fast
is because you sleep every night.
I wish you'd stay the same forever.
I don't want you to leave me behind.
What's it like to fall asleep?
I love you.
Huh?
Oh gosh, you were awake?
What am I even saying?
Fuyumura
Ono I love you, too.
I've loved you
for
a long, long time!
F-Fuyumura
Wait
Fuyumura
Touch me
Touch me more!
Ono, here?
Here makes you feel good?
Yes
I love it there.
Fuyumura
Ono
Let me get a better look at your face.
This is eternal love, Fuyumura!
Yes
Ono.
We'll be together forever!
Never let me go, okay?
Fuyumura!
When I woke up the next morning,
my body had undergone puberty.
Not only had I fallen fast asleep
but I also had an erotic dream
about my friend.
It's as if
my body has taken on the weight
of all the sins I've committed.
A student undergoing puberty in my school
before graduating is unthinkable.
Such a student
will be dealt with most harshly,
so I advise you to not sleep
under any circumstances, my good students.
I have to run!
Isn't it hilarious?
I never imagined
that adults could be so pathetic.
Ono's becoming beautiful.
I have to tell her what he told me.
Getting old isn't all scary stuff
Ono
It's okay to be an adult!
There's nothing wrong with us growing up!
When I'm feeling antsy,
full of muddled emotions,
I sometimes just stand there,
or sometimes I shout
at the top of my lungs
When I'm feeling indecisive,
full of emotions that ebb and flow,
the diary I grumble and complain to
is tucked away in a closed drawer
How's it gonna turn out?
Not knowing, I just cry
I bet that's how it is, right?
Out of desperation, a lie
Really, how's it gonna turn out?
I wish I could stay in my dreams
I wish I could stay,
could stay, could stay
When I'm feeling antsy,
full of muddled emotions,
I sometimes just stand there,
or sometimes I shout
at the top of my lungs
It's ironic that it's only once
you've grown up
that you realize
you can't stay a kid forever
There are even times
that I get depressed
thinking about these days
I find myself in,
but once they've passed me by,
will I look back and miss them?
How's it gonna turn out every day
I'm shouting every day