Shining Vale (2022) s01e05 Episode Script

1
Previously on Shining Vale
Is there depression in your family?
Her mother's psychotic.
- Are you my muse?
- I'm Rosemary.
Tell me how to stop her
from killing herself.
Maybe you resent all the
time I'm working with Kathéryn.
Kathéryn. Kathéryn. Kathéryn. Kathéryn.
- Pat!
- Ooh, sorry, I stepped on
- Sorry, no, it's all right.
- Sorry.
- Mm.
- Wow.
I thought you were a pedo
grooming my son.
No, not a groomer.
Thought the same thing about your kid.
- Is there a Mrs. Laird?
- Technically.
Hey, this Laird guy
is actually pretty funny.
She was fucking my best friend.
- Said I quit.
- All right.
I- I think you had one too many
lemon zests, buddy.
It's called lemon drop, motherfucker.
What do you want from me?
This can't be good.
Holy shit. She's real.
Help me.
Fuck you.
Roxy, come here, baby.
It's Mommy, come here.
Roxy. Fine, you're on your own.
God, it's Gaynor. Phelps?
Okay, I know we haven't
talked in a while
except that one time,
and then I got my period, so
Gaynor, it's your mom.
Open up!
Holy shit, Mom. Go away!
Jesus! Oh, sorry about that.
Jake!
Jake! Oh!
Mom, I was just trying something.
Leave me alone. Close the door.
Ugh.
Terry, she's real.
You gotta come with me right now.
Terry.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Sometimes I fucking
can't stand these people.
Gaynor, Jake, get down here now!
God, they say, "Liquor,
then beer, everything clear."
But I swear lemon drops
have rules all their own.
Why do we even have
to go to Grandma's house?
- I thought you hated her.
- I don't hate her.
We just have a complicated relationship.
Gee, what must that be like?
Trust me, you have it great here.
Oh, come on, Gaynor.
You haven't seen your grandma
for a while.
Thought it'd be good for you kids.
Plus, your mom thought
it'd be nice for us
to spend a little alone time.
Oh, honey, your breath is so bad.
- That's the vomit.
- This is bullshit.
You only us this morning, and I
already told Ryan and his mom
I'd go away with them.
What do I tell them now?
Tell them you have
to study for your ACT.
Okay, an AC is if you're going to college,
and who says I'm going to college?
Oh, I'm sorry I didn't make that clear.
I did. Jake, now!
Pat, logic, not emotion, honey.
Gaynor, people who go
to a four-year college
actually earn 57% more.
Plus, you're much more likely to meet
a intellectually compatible
spouse in college.
Mom didn't go to college.
Does that mean
she's intellectually inferior?
I'm gonna get some coffee.
Gaynor, I didn't have the opportunities
that you have.
You're going to fucking college.
Are they here yet? Did they leave?
Buddy, what's with the giant rucksack?
You're just going for the weekend.
Tommy and I always go treasure hunting.
Last time, we found
an unexploded Civil War bullet.
Grandma's boyfriend,
our favorite Iraq War veteran, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- My parents wouldn't take them?
I tried three times.
How about I agree to go
if you admit you're a total hypocrite?
Okay, how about I'm still your mom,
so stop talking to me like that?
It's your mother.
- Open up.
- Oh, my God.
Jesus, you crazy bitch.
- Pat.
- Hey, Mom.
Oh, wow. This-this house is a shit show.
Hi, Grandma.
Hello, my gorgeous girl.
It's like looking in a mirror.
Where's Tommy? Is Tommy here?
Is he gonna come?
He-he's in the car cooling off.
He had a little incident
on the way over.
- Aw, Terry.
- Oh!
Oh, my oh, how you holding up?
Holding up?
What's he's not a hostage.
Pat, I'm sure your mom's just asking
'cause I-I quit my job, Pat.
No, no, no, it's okay.
I was always good at, uh, socking away
a couple extra dollars
from every paycheck.
In college, they called me the Squirrel.
I didn't know you lost your job.
I was talking about the affair.
- God, Mom.
- What?
Don't be don't.
Don't be so defensive.
- Infidelity is genetic.
- Mm.
Her father used to fuck around
like a stray cat.
Could be some bad traffic
on that bridge.
Let's get you on the road, okay?
Kids, have a great weekend.
We'll see you Sunday.
Bye, Dad. Thanks, Mom.
Okay, love you, sweetie. Bye.
- Mom?
- Yeah.
I just wanna say thanks for
watching the kids this weekend.
Being a mother
is the most difficult job.
No one knows that more than I do.
- So yeah, oh.
- Mm.
This haircut is not flattering.
- No?
- No.
- Okay.
- Bye, Squirrel.
I think your hair looks good.
Oh, please, she's awful. Who cares?
Come on, we are moving out
of this fucking house now.
I don't understand.
The other day, you said
everything was great.
You were doing
the best writing of your life.
We had bath sex.
Well, when you find out
what happened in that tub,
you're gonna be scarred for life.
Was it a feces?
Okay, last night, I was down here alone,
and this projector came on
- all by itself.
- Okay.
Okay, I know you're gonna say
there's an explanation for it,
but explain this.
Okay?
Course it doesn't work now.
But there was footage
of Rosemary at a birthday party
in this house, and then
her-her face burned up.
- Oh.
- She's real.
She killed herself in our tub.
Terry, we can't stay here.
Pat, I just quit my goddamn job.
Now is not the time
to take a loss on this house.
Okay, if you're not gonna help me,
then I will seek a professional.
Professional what?
Excuse me, Wiccan?
I need to get rid of a ghost.
Okay, were you sent here
by a spiritual advisor?
Yelp.
And what type of an entity
are we dealing with?
Um, a lady ghost.
There's a lot
of different types of spirits.
I mean, you have orbs,
poltergeists, succubi, demons,
which aren't even ghosts at all.
Okay, first of all, I fucking love
how normal this is to you.
Uh, her name is Rosemary.
She used to live in my house.
She was helping me write my book.
- So how do I burn her out?
- Why do you want her out?
'Cause she's a fucking ghost.
So do you have, like, a-a
An amulet or something?
- Mm.
- What about sage?
I heard I've heard
good things about that.
Yeah, sage could definitely work,
but it could also just make her angry.
Okay, well what happens
if she gets angry?
There's about 1,000 movies about
what happens when a ghost gets angry.
I just want her the fuck out.
Well, if you want her the fuck out,
then you need to find out
what the fuck she wants.
Okay, I will find out
what the fuck she wants.
Ugh, why does everything
have to be so hard?
Like us on Yelp.
Say aloha to the Phelps family tiki bar.
- Wow!
- Hmm?
Ah, come on!
Yeah, Pat found it.
This is This is insane.
If you weren't my best friend,
I'd hate you.
Come on, Laird.
Hey, um, I-I was wondering
- if I could have a favor.
- Sure.
I have a custody hearing
next week, and my ex, Erika,
she thinks I still smoke weed.
You need a character witness?
Oh, no, no, no.
I just want you to take my weed.
I've been meaning to stop anyway.
- Was this touching your dick?
- Oh, no, no, no.
It was in the baggie.
Oh, come on, now it's yours.
It's perfect. It goes with the bar.
Here. That's for you.
Jessica Hahn?
Yes, please. Where did you get this?
It was in my kids' tree house.
No, you do You have a tree house?
Terry, if you don't tell me something
about your life that sucks,
we can't be friends.
Oh, Laird, everybody's got their shit.
All right, what's yours?
No, no, no, no, no. Don't do that.
Don't keep it in. You'll get sick.
Hey, can I interest you
in a nonalcoholic elderflower cordial?
You wanna smoke weed in the tree house?
- Yeah, let's do that.
- Mm.
Yeah, I got it.
What are you doing? Homework?
My mother's making me
take a college entry exam.
She's such a never mind.
You know why grandparents
and grandchildren get along?
Because they have a common enemy.
I'm sure your mother's told you
lots of stories about me.
She hasn't, actually.
Yeah, that's because she's a narcissist.
I wrote a novel. Guess what it's about.
- Is it about you?
- It's about me.
It's very interesting.
You know, I should actually
get back to work, so
I was a dancer, and then I got pregnant,
and I didn't wanna keep
the baby at you know what?
Let me find the novel.
I think you'll like it.
- Let's go, killer.
- We're going crossbow fishing.
Come on, Tommy.
Save an arrow for me.
Things were great when we first met.
Pat had just sold her book. She was fun.
She was alive. Am I talking too much?
People say I get all chatty
when I get high.
No, man, I'm just enjoying my buzz
and watching
that praying mantis have sex.
That's a knot in the wood, Laird.
- I'm done.
- Okay.
Yeah.
Anyway, Pat and I got married, had kids.
- Mm.
- I got a promotion.
- Oh.
- Pat got writer's block.
Fast-forward a few years,
and I'm sitting in my kids' tree house,
getting stoned
with a dude I barely know.
Wow, yeah, I-I'm so sorry
your super hot wife had kids
and you got a promotion.
Yeah.
That took a lot of courage to tell me.
Pat had an affair.
That's that's the reason we moved.
Get a fresh start.
- I'm sorry, man.
- Mm.
Been there. My wife did that.
Yeah.
And are you sure that's not
a praying mantis fucking?
Never let them give you lithium.
Okay, Grandma, I'm actually
right in the middle
- of finishing
- When I was about 50,
I started seeing things, hearing voices.
They shipped me around
to a bunch of specialists.
One of them wanted to cut out
my uterus, and I said,
"Then what will make me a woman?"
So we settled on lithium,
and the voices went away,
but it was a heavy price to pay.
I'm sorry, Grandma.
Yeah, well, all these male doctors
deciding what to do with my pussy.
Wow, that is terrible to hear.
- Wanna see some pictures?
- Of what?
Okay, bitch. It's time to move on.
Come on, man.
I-I could've saged your ass out of here,
but I didn't because I'm fucking nice.
Just tell me how to get rid of you.
Patricia, why so angry?
Well, for starters, you lied to me.
You told me you were my muse,
but you're a ghost,
a lying ghost.
I feel I've been nothing
but supportive of you.
What do you want, Rosemary?
I want what every woman wants.
I want to be satisfied.
My husband, Rolf,
never let me do anything.
I couldn't travel. I couldn't entertain.
I was simply a prisoner
in this house until
Well, you know how it ended.
I'm sorry that you had such a sad life,
but what does this have to do with me?
Somehow in the pages of your book,
I feel like I am alive.
Well, unfortunately,
you keep killing yourself,
and to be honest,
it's a real fucking bummer.
Oh, well, how about
if I write a different ending?
Instead of us writing together,
I would take complete control.
Only for one chapter,
where I get to go crazy.
I get to sing and flirt with a stranger
and maybe even go to Paris.
- What if you just get laid?
- Done.
And then you'll move on?
I sure hope so.
Why should I even trust you?
Oh, baby, we're
kindred spirits, you and I.
Can't you feel it?
Besides, who else are you gonna trust?
Kam, who would let you die
if it gave her a best seller?
Or Dr. Berg, who has you so hopped up
on these mother's helpers
that you don't even know
if what you're seeing is real?
Or then there's Terry,
who's been lying to you this whole time.
What are you talking about?
Do you really think that the Squirrel
would ever buy a house without knowing
absolutely everything
that has happened here?
Do you?
Oh, do you at least get a hall pass?
What?
Come on, did-did-did Pat
let you sleep with someone?
- No, I-I could never do that.
- Why not?
Oh, come on, Terry, you're gr
You're great-looking.
I mean, you, um
You could be a JCPenney model.
No, I just I couldn't.
I couldn't do it.
Couldn't do it.
- Who's Kathryn?
- Kath-Kathéryn.
You know, she's just
How do you know Kathéryn?
She just texted you.
- What?
- Yeah.
Oh, my God. Okay, okay.
I don't have my-my glasses.
What-what is she What is she saying?
"Yo, going to be in wine country
in Connecticut tomorrow.
Wanna meet me?"
Oh, uh
Did-did you just write back?
Yeah.
Well, what did you write?
"F yeah."
Why? Why would you do that?
Oh, because if a lady
asked me to go to wine country,
I'm going to type, "F yeah."
Yeah, but she didn't ask you, Laird.
Right.
She asked me, didn't she?
- Yeah.
- God, and she's
Oh, God, now she's writing me back.
What-what do just tell me
what she's saying.
"Wow, called my bluff.
Okay, let's do it.
Noon, Via de Santoro Winery.
Wear a shirt.
It's super classy. XX."
Did you just write, "F yeah"?
F yeah.
Seller discloses person
or persons died in the residence.
Unnatural causes.
Holy shit.
The Squirrel knew.
Hey, I didn't hear you
come to bed last night.
Laird and I got high in the tree house.
You know that list I keep
of things I'm too old for?
Right underneath lemon drops, pot.
You lied to me, Terry.
Do you want me to go get the list?
You knew someone died in this house,
and you bought it anyway.
Honey, it's a 200-year-old
house in Connecticut.
I'm sure that every house on this street
has had somebody die in it.
By suicide?
Okay, yes.
Yes, I probably should've told you that,
but I just I don't know, Pat.
You just seemed to love
the house so much,
and I thought, you know,
given what your mom tried,
I thought maybe
You thought what?
You-you thought it might be
a trigger for me?
Is that what you fucking thought?
Can't imagine why I thought that.
Fuck you, Terry.
Fuck you, Pat.
You completely betrayed me.
Oh, my God. You're gonna use that term?
"Betrayed"?
The reason we're in this house
is because you cheated on me, Pat!
A house that we can't sell
because it's haunted.
It's not haunted, sweetheart. It's not.
You sound like your
What? What?
My mother?
Finish the fucking sentence,
Terry, come on!
I'm not doing this, all right?
I-I-I'm going out.
- Where you going?
- I don't know.
- Don't wait up.
- Don't worry. I won't.
Morning, Grandma.
Mm, good morning.
Oh, I found some old photos
of your mother.
You can keep 'em if you like.
Wow. My mom was beautiful.
Thank you.
Why isn't she smiling in any of these?
I don't know.
She was always so stressed.
Maybe because she never had
the right haircut for her face.
You got a fam on your six.
Uh, uh, it's jammed.
What do I do, Tommy?
Make a decision, Jake.
Three, two, one!
Neutralized. You ready for live ammo?
Am I am I allowed to use live ammo?
- What the hell do I care?
- Not in the house.
Go outside, sweetheart.
Do you, uh, have any pictures of my mom
when she was, like, my age?
You're worried you're gonna
turn out like her.
Here.
Don't worry.
You have a sensitivity she lacks.
You're much more like I am.
Sorry I'm late.
I didn't think you'd make it.
I checked Google Maps,
and you live, like, 100 miles from here.
Well, I wasn't gonna miss
the opportunity to visit
the, uh, Solvang of Connecticut.
Wow.
What brings you this far
out of the city?
Uh, Blake has a folk music
slash vinyl record festival bullshit
- I have no idea.
- Oh, yeah.
I used to love FMSR,
Folk Music Radio Slash
Um, how's Pat?
I talk about Pat all the time.
You know, let's-let's talk
about something else.
Like what is good here.
Oh, uh, well, I am sampling
the pineapple merlot.
It pairs very well with the peanuts.
Mmm. A lovely bouquet.
Three dollars more,
we could make it a pitcher.
Oh, let's do it.
Ugh.
Okay, Rosemary.
It's time to move on.
Writing's hard, right?
Come on, what do you got?
Oh, shit.
Damn, my mom was smart.
Look at all these awards.
Runs in the family.
Wait, this letter
says my mom was offered
a full scholarship to Albany.
Why didn't she go to college?
That wasn't something
girls did back then.
In the '80s?
Why aren't you in any of these pictures?
That's when I was away in the hospital.
When you tried to kill yourself?
Okay, that was too far.
Here's the truth.
Before I was on lithium,
they gave me all kinds of pills
to handle my emotions.
Well, one night, I decided
to take the whole shebang
with a quart of vodka.
Guess I just wanted attention.
Well, they gave it to me
by locking me up and zapping my brain.
Four years in the cuckoo bin.
You didn't see my mom for four years?
She came to see me every single day.
Is that why she didn't go to college?
Don't you dare feel sorry for her.
She's the one who signed
the papers to put me away.
Now you know everything.
- My God!
- Shit!
All right, so nobody panic.
Grandma, where do you keep the gauze?
Okay, all right,
it's like a roller coaster.
I love roller coasters.
Kind of goes up a little bit
and then straight down,
hatchets through
the back wall of a closet.
I have never been on that ride.
Oh, I've been on it a long time.
My last husband was the kind of ride
that just treated you like shit
and slept with the housekeeper.
That's not a good ride.
Yeah, but the line is really short.
Ah, of course.
I think we're out.
Should we go for a quart
of the pluot zinfandel?
- Think I need to go home.
- Oh.
Unless you don't.
Fuck, sorry, um,
I think I completely misread that.
Uh, let's rewind.
No, no, no. Don't-don't-don't be sorry.
It's listen, how I respond
could have big consequences,
so I wanna
choose my words carefully.
I have to pee.
With Rolf taking the kids
away for the weekend,
Rosemary had the place to herself.
Well, not only herself.
It's quarter to three
There's no one in the place
Except you and me
So set 'em up, Joe
Dan had been boxing her groceries
at Vogel's Variety Mart, but tonight
he'd be focusing on a different box.
Dan twisted her into positions
she had never imagined.
She felt something she had
never felt in her life,
unleashing 25 years
of built-up repression.
And in one earth-shattering orgasm
Rosemary was free.
Ugh.
And one more for the road
Pat, are you okay?
Yeah. I'm just I'm just working.
I've been doing a lot of thinking.
I-I've been trying so hard
to make this work.
I don't know what else to do anymore.
Terry, I want to make love to you.
Okay, yeah. Let's do that.
Morning.
Oh, what time is it?
Wow, it's 11:02.
Oh, good grief, I haven't slept
that late since I was at Penn.
I know. I woke up at 10:30.
It's the first full night's sleep
I've had since we moved in.
Yeah, well, no surprise,
given some of the things
we tried last night.
Yeah, I still got a couple
of tricks up my
Holy fuck, Terry.
What happened to your back?
Seriously? You don't remember?
Old-school Pat is back.
I think the ghost fucked my husband.
I'm sorry, what?
Well, technically, it was my body,
but I'm pretty sure she was driving.
No, no, no, no, ghosts do not
enter other people's bodies.
You didn't make any type of a deal
with this entity, did you?
A little, but I'm
pretty sure she moved on,
and that-that's a good thing, right?
Well, that depends.
I mean, if this is a demon,
that would be what we call
a very bad thing.
No, I felt her move on,
so I'm going to assume
that she's a ghost.
You can assume whatever you want,
but if this is a demon
and you did let her in,
you need to take care of this now.
You know what?
I don't take advice
from one-star Wiccans.
In fact, I think
this whole thing is a scam.
So goodbye.
I'm just gonna pick up a little sage.
Oh, God. What is that smell?
I'm burning sage.
I like the way it smells.
Think we should talk about yesterday
- before the kids come home?
- Yeah, probably.
All right, well oh.
Hey, there they are. How'd it go?
I had the best time.
I shot an arrow into a kayak,
and I learned how to dress a wound,
and Tommy gave me a ham radio
so I could talk to him.
Ah.
And how about you? How was your time?
Ooh!
This was a weird fucking weekend.
Mm-hmm.
So, Mr. Phelps,
what did you wanna talk about?
Well, Mrs. Phelps,
I wanted to apologize
for not telling you
that a suicide took place in this house.
That's okay, Mr. Phelps.
Are we gonna keep doing
the Mr. and Mrs. Phelps thing?
No.
Okay.
Listen, I'm sorry that I-I freaked out.
I know you'd never betray me.
Well, in the spirit
of, um, full disclosure,
I met Kathryn
in the wine country for drinks.
- Okay.
- Okay?
You don't you don't wanna know
what happened?
Well, I assume that you had
some really shitty wine
and then came home.
Well, that is what happened,
but there was a minute there
where I-I thought,
"Maybe run off with this chick.
You know? Could be fun."
But then I knew she would have shit
and we'd have shit,
and I already have shit with you.
I like our shit.
I like our shit too.
Although I probably would've
let you have a hall pass
if you were that kinda guy.
But thankfully, you're not.
That is late information.
Oh, I also wanna tell you.
I got rid of the ghost.
- Mm.
- Yeah.
I know you don't believe it,
and honestly,
I'm not even sure I do anymore,
but she's gone,
so we're back to just us.
I would love to be just us.
But let me just check.
Hello?
Anyone here?
Rosemary?
Oh, come on.
Oh.
Roxy.
Roxy.
You shouldn't have let her in.