Squiddly Diddly (1965) s01e05 Episode Script
Westward Ha!
Good night folks.
I hope you enjoyed yourselves.
Come back and visit
Bubbleland again.
Oh my, it's 6:00.
Time for my favorite TV show.
Uncle Quibbly and his gang.
I wouldn't miss uncle
Quibbly for anything.
Squiddly? What are
you doing in here?
I'm watching my
favorite TV show, chief.
"Uncle of the Son of Jesse
James Mother in Law".
You mean you were
watching uncle of the son of,
whatever you may call it.
Now get back to your
tank and stay there.
And now here is Uncle
Quibbly and his gang.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Oh, phooey.
I'd rather watch a
Western Show anytime.
In fact I wish I was out West.
Hey, why not?
I'll hitchhike my way out
there and see the real thing.
Run for your lives.
Shotgun Sludge is
coming this way.
Shotgun Sludge?
Shotgun Sludge is
coming this way.
Run for your lives.
Bartender.
I'm Shotgun Sludge.
And I'm a thirsty.
Give me a glass of
warm milk, the hard way.
- The hard way?
- Yeah!
- Put it in a dirty glass.
- Yes, sir.
Here you are, sir.
Yeah.
What makes me feel so good.
That I'm gonna
blast the first guy
who steps through
those swinging door.
Howdy, strangers!
Squiddly is here.
What in carnation is a squiddly?
I'm a squid.
And I've come out West
where the excitement is.
Well I'm gonna blast you.
Ain't that exciting?
I just remembered,
I got an exciting
engagement back East.
Shucks. I missed you.
Hey, Injun.
Did you see a
squid go by?
Yep!
Go and check.
Thanks.
I'm coming in to
blast your, squid.
Man, it's dark in here.
I can't see a thing.
- Better light a match.
- Thanks again, Injun.
Gunpowder.
Gunpowder.
Oh I'm getting mad.
Pardon me, ma'am.
Did you see a sneaky
indian squid go by?
Yes, I did, sonny.
He went to that
teepee over yonder.
I'm in your debt ma'am.
Thunderation!
She's so homely.
She'd have to sneak up
on a bucket of water
to get a drink.
So long ma'am.
This is more fun
than watching TV.
Here I come, squid.
And I'm gonna
blast your good.
Uh-oh!
A goofed again.
No squid is gonna
do that to me.
I'll tear him apart!
It's a good thing
I'm so mean,
or I could've got hurt.
I made it.
Well things are a lot
more peaceful now.
You mean rest in
peaceful, Squid.
- It's said to be blasted.
- Oh, gosh.
You wouldn't shoot an
unarmed squid, Would you?
Here's a gun.
We'll shoot it up
western style.
Start accounting, squid.
Yes, sir.
One, two, three.
Four, five, six.
Seven, eight.
Nine, ten.
Oh that squid is
really getting to me.
You beat me fair
and square, squid.
And I'm leaving town.
But before I go.
You mind if I take a picture
of you for my scrapbook?
A picture?
Why, sure.
- How's this?
- Fine.
Now hold that pose
whilst I load the camera.
Boy.
Is he gonna get a
bang out of this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, squid.
- Say, cheese.
- Cheese.
That's the last time
I ever build a cannon
from a do it yourself kit.
That squid is too much for me.
I'm going back to
jail where it's safe.
"Squid Big Hero in West.
Rids Town of Outlaw".
So that's where Squiddly is.
Well he won't be there long.
Tell us again how you
captured Shotgun Slug, squiddly.
Yeah, tell us.
Tell us.
Oh, shucks.
It was really easy for
an old cowpoke like me.
I reached for
my gun and said.
Yow!
Oh oh.
Oh my foot.
- Oh oh!
- Squiddly.
What do you think
you're doing?
It's not the one to see.
Oh, chief. Take me
back to Bubbleland.
Uh huh. You've had enough
of being a tenderfoot?
Yes chief.
Lucky for me I still
got seven left.
I hope you enjoyed yourselves.
Come back and visit
Bubbleland again.
Oh my, it's 6:00.
Time for my favorite TV show.
Uncle Quibbly and his gang.
I wouldn't miss uncle
Quibbly for anything.
Squiddly? What are
you doing in here?
I'm watching my
favorite TV show, chief.
"Uncle of the Son of Jesse
James Mother in Law".
You mean you were
watching uncle of the son of,
whatever you may call it.
Now get back to your
tank and stay there.
And now here is Uncle
Quibbly and his gang.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Oh, phooey.
I'd rather watch a
Western Show anytime.
In fact I wish I was out West.
Hey, why not?
I'll hitchhike my way out
there and see the real thing.
Run for your lives.
Shotgun Sludge is
coming this way.
Shotgun Sludge?
Shotgun Sludge is
coming this way.
Run for your lives.
Bartender.
I'm Shotgun Sludge.
And I'm a thirsty.
Give me a glass of
warm milk, the hard way.
- The hard way?
- Yeah!
- Put it in a dirty glass.
- Yes, sir.
Here you are, sir.
Yeah.
What makes me feel so good.
That I'm gonna
blast the first guy
who steps through
those swinging door.
Howdy, strangers!
Squiddly is here.
What in carnation is a squiddly?
I'm a squid.
And I've come out West
where the excitement is.
Well I'm gonna blast you.
Ain't that exciting?
I just remembered,
I got an exciting
engagement back East.
Shucks. I missed you.
Hey, Injun.
Did you see a
squid go by?
Yep!
Go and check.
Thanks.
I'm coming in to
blast your, squid.
Man, it's dark in here.
I can't see a thing.
- Better light a match.
- Thanks again, Injun.
Gunpowder.
Gunpowder.
Oh I'm getting mad.
Pardon me, ma'am.
Did you see a sneaky
indian squid go by?
Yes, I did, sonny.
He went to that
teepee over yonder.
I'm in your debt ma'am.
Thunderation!
She's so homely.
She'd have to sneak up
on a bucket of water
to get a drink.
So long ma'am.
This is more fun
than watching TV.
Here I come, squid.
And I'm gonna
blast your good.
Uh-oh!
A goofed again.
No squid is gonna
do that to me.
I'll tear him apart!
It's a good thing
I'm so mean,
or I could've got hurt.
I made it.
Well things are a lot
more peaceful now.
You mean rest in
peaceful, Squid.
- It's said to be blasted.
- Oh, gosh.
You wouldn't shoot an
unarmed squid, Would you?
Here's a gun.
We'll shoot it up
western style.
Start accounting, squid.
Yes, sir.
One, two, three.
Four, five, six.
Seven, eight.
Nine, ten.
Oh that squid is
really getting to me.
You beat me fair
and square, squid.
And I'm leaving town.
But before I go.
You mind if I take a picture
of you for my scrapbook?
A picture?
Why, sure.
- How's this?
- Fine.
Now hold that pose
whilst I load the camera.
Boy.
Is he gonna get a
bang out of this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, squid.
- Say, cheese.
- Cheese.
That's the last time
I ever build a cannon
from a do it yourself kit.
That squid is too much for me.
I'm going back to
jail where it's safe.
"Squid Big Hero in West.
Rids Town of Outlaw".
So that's where Squiddly is.
Well he won't be there long.
Tell us again how you
captured Shotgun Slug, squiddly.
Yeah, tell us.
Tell us.
Oh, shucks.
It was really easy for
an old cowpoke like me.
I reached for
my gun and said.
Yow!
Oh oh.
Oh my foot.
- Oh oh!
- Squiddly.
What do you think
you're doing?
It's not the one to see.
Oh, chief. Take me
back to Bubbleland.
Uh huh. You've had enough
of being a tenderfoot?
Yes chief.
Lucky for me I still
got seven left.