Stick (2025) s01e05 Episode Script

1
[Pryce] Okay.
Tell me what you know about golf.
Well, it's super boring
and really bad for the environment.
And it is played by rich white men
who have a thing for zip-up pullovers.
Okay, now, hold on.
Nothing marries style and comfort
as effortlessly as the humble pullover.
And don't roll your eyes
'cause your hoodie is a cousin
to the pullover.
And as for golf being boring,
you're just dead wrong.
Golf, when it's played well,
is an exquisite game.
Elegant. Almost metaphysical.
Golf can unlock
the mysteries of the universe
if you're open to it.
I thought that rich white men
already had a skeleton key
to the mysteries of the universe.
Can you unlock the mystery of why you
have to have this conversation in here
while I'm sleeping?
Okay, we're gonna be quick.
Listen, the basics.
Each club is designed specifically
for a particular challenge on the course.
Your driver and your woods,
when you want to hit it far.
Irons, when you want
to hit it a shorter distance.
But why not just use one club
and then, like, swing it less hard
if you want to go shorter?
Oh, yeah. Try and hit a 50-yard pitch
over a bunker with a wood.
- See what happens.
- No, no. It's a fair question.
The higher the loft angle on the
clubface, the higher you're gonna hit it.
The lower, the lower you're gonna hit it.
- Makes sense?
- What's a clubface?
All right,
just show her the fucking clubs.
It's "them."
"Show them the fucking clubs."
- No, it's "her."
- I thought it was them.
- It is.
- You just said it was her.
- It is.
- [Mitts] Jesus!
Just show them and her the fucking clubs.
Okay, this is the driver.
Longish shaft, flat clubface.
And this hits the ball far.
Least it does with me.
Whoa. [chuckles]
[Zero] It's cold out here.
[Mitts] Because
you're not wearing any pants.
- We get on with this, please?
- [Pryce] Yeah, yeah.
But let's not gloss over the fact that you
cannot hit the ball any better than that.
In other words, I pured it, flushed it.
That's something you might say.
- Mmm. Right.
- But moving on to the irons.
You see the angled clubface?
Now, as you go up the irons,
you hit the ball shorter,
but with more loft.
Here, let me show you.
Jesus, Mitts, did you see that?
Where was that 20 years ago?
Guys, woods go far. Irons go short.
What's your point?
My point is,
Santi is gonna want to club up.
He's gonna want to use a wood
when he should be using an iron,
all right?
He makes bad choices.
Oh, that's rich coming from you.
This whole plan is a bad choice.
[scoffs] We wanna
keep him out of trouble.
Don't let him get into
that negative loop.
He doesn't listen to me,
he listens to you.
So when we need to dial him back in,
you're gonna be my mouthpiece.
I'm not okay with you using that word.
Our Cyrano de Bergerac.
Another way of saying it is
you're gonna be our Zero-no de Bergerac.
No, that's a rough pun. That's bad.
That is a great pun.
You're smiling a little bit.
[groans]
Oh.
You just golfing now or what
what's happening?
Yeah, he doesn't really hear
people when he's in the zone.
Okay, I'm going inside.
[Mitts] Turn the lights off
when you're done.
[theme song playing]
Welcome to the local qualifier for
this year's U.S. Amateur Championship.
The format is 36 holes of stroke play
over two days,
with the top two golfers advancing
to the final qualifier
at Forest Dunes Golf Club
in Roscommon, Missouri.
Best of luck.
[Zero] Driver. Four iron. Three wood.
Play the left.
To the right.
Go for it.
You're massaging Mitts's balls.
Hey, Zero, I'm serious.
I know what it means.
It means lay it up, okay?
I'm just fucking with you.
Okay, but it's just gonna
be the two of you out there.
I can't go out there,
so I need you to check in with me
on every single shot,
especially on holes
[Zero] Five, nine, 11, 17.
Yes, especially on 11.
Now, there's a bunker
called the Copacabana.
That may sound like a good thing,
it's not a good thing.
- He's gonna wanna fly it with the
- Three wood.
We want him to use
- The five iron.
- Good.
And things are fluid.
I understand,
things are gonna change out there.
We just want to keep him out of trouble,
play safe.
We don't wanna flip that switch,
where he starts seeing red
'cause then we can't get him back.
There he is. Hey! How ya doing, big dawg?
- Don't call me big dawg.
- Copy that.
- You ready?
- Yeah, let's do it.
- [Pryce] Nice.
- [sighs]
- [whispers] Hey.
- [Zero whispers] What?
[scoffs]
[official] Now on the tee,
from New Haven, Connecticut, Tom Caruso.
[quiet applauding]
- Mashed potatoes!
- Boomshakalaka!
[speaking Spanish] I hate golf bros.
- [stammers]
- Yeah, they get worse every year.
Now on the tee, from Fort Wayne, Indiana,
Santiago Wheeler.
Okay, here we go. [inhales sharply]
- [whooshes]
- [golf bro] Bababooey!
King Kong!
[spectators applauding]
Think I'm gonna use a five.
[whispers] Come on.
Princeton's going for the green.
I'm gonna hit my three wood.
If he can get it to the green from there,
I can get it from here.
[Zero] Yeah, for sure.
But he's a yoked-up alpha bro
with Chinese characters
tattooed on his arm. [chuckles]
So if you feel the need
to compete with that, please.
[stammers] Do you have a better idea?
I mean, you're the golf expert.
What's the smart play?
Five iron. Lay it up short of the sand.
Okay, so play it smart.
He's not.
There we go.
- Oh, that's a smart play.
- Smart.
[spectators applauding]
- This could be good.
- [Mitts] You think?
They were a complete stranger
two days ago,
and now she's caddie.
Your pronouns
are all over the place, Mitts.
Look, I'm not gonna play this
who's-on-first game with the pronouns.
If that person were playing
a major role in my kid's life,
I'd want a little more information,
that's all.
- Do you know her last name?
- Their last name.
- And, no, I don't.
- See?
That's what I'm saying.
Kid's like a fucking mystery.
They don't talk about themselves.
It's always some agenda, like, you know,
animal enslavement, or methane gas,
or the patriarchy.
So you think that Zero
is like the Tinder swindler?
I I don't know who the fuck that is,
but I know something is sketchy
when I see it.
Birdie, birdie, birdie! Yeah!
Come on! Yes!
Pretty good, right?
[exhales sharply]
Where are you going?
Mitts.
[scoffs] What's going on?
What's wrong with you?
I keep trying to tell you
you're playing with fire, all right?
- But fuck me.
- You still think this is a bad idea?
You don't care what I think.
I tell you to zig and you zag,
and then when shit goes sideways,
I gotta try to fix it, man.
What are you talking about?
This side hustle you got going
with Zero and the kid.
I mean, you don't think
about the consequences of your shit.
- And then I gotta pick up the pieces.
- What pieces?
Everything's working.
He's first on the leaderboard. Look!
He keeps playing like this,
he'll move on to the final qualifier.
[stammers] You know what?
You're gonna do what you wanna do.
I don't even know why
I'm wasting my breath.
[Zero] Your music library is, like,
all over the place.
You got some AC/DC, Chino Pacas,
fucking Hamilton.
- Oh, no. [chuckles]
- Whoa.
- What can I say? [stammers] I'm eclectic.
- Yeah.
I mean, if I was gonna profile you
based on your music library,
you're either, like,
a theater kid who raps all his solos,
or, like, a Russian bot
trying to seem human. [chuckles]
Or you could profile me as a guy
who finished number one
on the leaderboard today,
aka [speaking Spanish]
aka the greatest of all time,
- aka [chuckling]
- Whoa. Oh, my God.
The bot's getting cocky.
So what do we play for you
if you drop down the leaderboard?
[sighs] I won't drop down.
But what if you do?
If you're not number
one, you don't exist.
You don't exist? Wow, okay.
That's a lot to unpack there.
Who taught you that?
My old coach.
- Okay, let me see your phone.
- Okay.
I'm guessing there's lots of songs
about life as a nomad.
What's that supposed to mean?
What? You said you haven't lived
in a place longer than three months.
That makes you a nomad.
Isn't that hard?
Like, moving around so much?
Not really. I mean, I
I move on when I, like, get bored,
you know?
I need to be challenged.
Hmm.
Wait. "Flock of Clocks demo"?
- I need an explanation.
- No, no, no. That's That's
I was in a band. I was very young.
It's very bad.
- Give me No, no.
- Wait, wait. No, I wanna listen.
- I'm so listening to it.
- You can't.
- Zero makes music?
- Guys, guys, guys.
- Okay, stop, stop! Both of you.
- [Santi chuckles]
[speaking Spanish]
We're just messing around.
Tomorrow you have a big day.
You need to rest.
And Zero, I need help with the laundry.
Yeah, happy to help.
Give me my phone.
[chuckles] I will hear that song.
- Mm-mmm. Never, bot.
- [chuckles]
Nomad.
Zero, what's your last name?
Duffy. Why?
Zero is an interesting name.
Well, I was born Christina Marie Duffy,
December 4th, 2005.
Marion County Hospital,
Lexington, Kentucky.
You want my, uh,
Social Security or an emergency contact?
Am I that obvious?
- Yeah. Kinda.
- No, I'm sorry. I just
I realized that I know nothing about you.
No, I I get it. I'm gonna be living
with you guys for a few weeks.
Go ahead, ask me anything.
- Okay. Your parents.
- Keith and Lila.
- Mm-hmm.
- Keith is a career marine.
Lila was an artist.
She wasn't around.
Oh.
Yeah, it was just me and my dad.
So how did your dad react to you being
Uh, genderqueer,
anti-capitalist, postcolonial feminist?
- Mm-hmm.
- Better than you would think.
- So did I pass?
- Oh, it wasn't a test.
Hmm.
No, I just wanted to know more about you,
now that you're one of us.
Okay. Now my turn.
Did Pryce really give
you a hundred grand?
- Oh, he sure did. [chuckles]
- Oh, my God. You're a legend.
- What are you gonna do with it?
- Invest it.
I have an idea.
Niche commodity.
Some supply constraints
could lead to big gains if I'm right.
Yeah. I was a business major
before Santi was born.
You know, to be honest I'm not usually
a proponent of corporate greed,
but holy shit, you're a she-bull.
- Are you calling me a cow?
- No.
I'm calling you a fearless,
risk-seeking motherfucking she-bull.
I don't know what that means,
but I like it.
[chuckles]
[official] Welcome to day two
of the U.S. Amateur Qualifier.
Now on the tee, our first round leader,
Santiago Wheeler.
[cheering]
Mashed potatoes! [chuckles]
You said that yesterday, man.
Oh, yeah. You're right.
By the way, Zero's last name is Duffy.
We had a lovely chat last night.
And they're not sketchy at all.
They're sweet and thoughtful
and excellent at folding laundry.
- And they called me a she-bull.
- [Mitts] Mmm.
Still don't trust them.
Her. Them.
- Ay.
- [Mitts] Yeah.
[whispers] Five iron.
You know, I could fly those trees, eagle,
and end this thing right now.
Or you could mess up, drop out of first,
and then you wouldn't exist.
- Okay.
- Attagirl.
"Attaperson."
[sighs]
- [gasps] What?
- [Elena] Hey. Hey, hey.
- That's so sweet. Thank you.
- Of course [speaking Spanish]
You're carrying my son's clubs.
You need to stay hydrated.
Oh. Santi's killing it, huh?
Yes. Thank God.
I was stressed going into this.
Last time he was in a real tournament
[sucks teeth] it wasn't great.
What happened?
- Well, his dad happened.
- [scoffs]
Yeah, but he's not worth
even talking about.
Oh, come on. I gave you
my whole life story last night.
- Spill it.
- [breathes deeply]
Santi's dad is what you call an asshole.
Mmm. What kind?
The asshole spectrum has many varieties.
The kind that showers a kid
with love and attention
when they're playing good
and takes it away when they're not.
Gary was always manipulating Santi,
and Santi never knew
if what his dad said was real
or just some mind game to get him
to do whatever he wanted on the course.
So, yeah. It's good to see him playing
without all that caca, you know?
Yeah.
All right. Back at the Copa.
I'm in the lead.
I birdie it here, I bury that guy.
Let's have a little fun.
- Whoa, whoa. What's he doing?
- Uh.
Yeah, you know what?
Fuck it.
Bury him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's happening?
You're being shaken off.
No, no. That's okay. It's fine.
I don't need to joystick every shot.
He's an athlete.
If he's feeling it, he can clear this,
no problem.
[spectators groan]
It's okay.
No big deal.
Shit.
Holy four-putt, Batman.
That dude just double bogeyed.
Administer the Heimlich
because he's choking.
- [imitates choking, chuckling]
- Okay, golf bros [speaking Spanish]
Nobody likes you.
I mean, I think some people like us.
- She can't know that. There's
- Right? That's
There's no way
she could possibly know that.
[breathes heavily]
Can I talk to you for a minute?
- Yeah.
- [breathes heavily]
What happened on 11? Did you not see me?
- I was signaling four iron.
- Yeah.
Well, he wanted to use the three wood.
Who am I to disagree?
The person whose job it is to disagree
when the situation calls for it.
Well, I'm not super into my job
at the moment.
What is it with your generation
being into their jobs?
I mean, do you think the guys
that deice airplanes are into it?
Standing out there in the freezing cold
blowing hot chemicals out of a hose?
Maybe I didn't wanna
add to Santi's trauma
by pulling strings behind his back.
What trauma? [stammers]
That word has been so watered down
by TikTok.
Look, Elena told me that Santi's dad was,
like, super manipulative,
and it really fucked with his head.
And that's exactly what we're doing.
We're manipulating him.
No, no, no.
Manipulative's a negative word.
We're trying to help him succeed.
[scoffs] What even is success to you?
Like, money and cars and shit?
- What?
- No.
It's his game. His potential.
The very things
that his dad stole from him.
We can give it back to him.
I like him.
I like him too.
I don't wanna lie to him.
Zero, you don't have to.
You just have to help him.
Okay, help me help him.
I don't know if I can.
I promise, you can.
It's all gonna come
down to the 17th hole.
If he doesn't birdie that,
we're out of it for good.
He won't be able to qualify
for the U.S. Amateur.
The plan is over, and
we all just go home.
Zero, please listen to me.
I can't do it without you.
There's a pond on the left side
of the fairway.
He's gonna want to try to carry that
because he takes every water hazard
as a dare.
He doesn't need to.
He can just lay up to the right and
go around and get his birdie that way.
But if he ends up in the pond,
we're finished.
Come on, please.
- Stick with me.
- [exhales sharply]
Okay, let me get my three wood.
I'm gonna go over.
[sighs]
What, nah. [stammers] Trust me, I got it.
Give him the seven.
Remember when I told you
that I move on
when I don't feel challenged?
It's not true.
I move on when I don't feel safe.
I get, like, antsy and insecure
and I just completely bug out.
And I mean, if
if you don't qualify, I lose my job.
And honestly, I
I'd like to keep it
'cause I feel safe with you.
With all of you.
I'm not ready to move on.
I'm not ready for you to move on either.
He's hitting seven.
Guys, he's hitting seven.
It's called thinking your way
around the course.
Oh, you're gonna like that.
Yes, Santi!
Yes! Yes!
It's still rolling!
Get in the hole!
[spectators cheering]
What?
- Fuck that.
- Come on!
[screaming, laughing]
Baby!
- I get it now.
- Get what?
- [screams]
- Nice job, baby!
- Exquisite. [chuckles]
- I told you so.
Pryce!
Come on!
- [Elena] Pryce! Pryce!
- [spectators cheering]
- [Pryce] All right.
- [Elena cheers]
[Pryce] and then an eagle on 17.
Are you kidding me? Come on!
One more qualifier to go,
and then it's U.S. Amateur Championship.
And Hurricane Santi
is gonna make landfall.
And those guys aren't
gonna know what hit 'em!
- Hey! Knock it off! Hey!
- Some of this, and some of that!
[Santi laughs]
Goddamn it.
I told you to knock it off.
Fuck.
Hey.
Hey, Mitts. Hey.
So I guess this is because the plan
with Zero is actually going pretty well?
- No, that ain't it.
- Yeah.
You said to zig but I zagged,
and zagged worked, and now you're pissed.
You know, fuck off, Pryce.
No, no. Why can't you just admit
shit didn't go sideways.
- You don't have to pick up the pieces.
- Yeah, not yet.
There's time though, pal.
Mitts, he just eagled 17
to win the qualifier.
That's a good thing.
That's why we came on this trip.
Yeah, that's not why I came.
Then [sighs]
then why did you come on it?
Because it seems to be
my fucking job, whether I like it or not,
to hover over you
and try to protect you from yourself.
[stammers] Protect me?
[scoffs] I feel great.
Stop protecting me.
Look, I wish you could see it
the way I see it, all right?
But you can't because you're
you're-you're cut off from reality.
[stammers] You can't see
what this is really about, Pryce.
[stammers] What is this really about?
It's about Jett.
I mean, he would be about Santi's
age now, you realize that, right?
This whole fucking thing,
it's not about golf.
It's about all the shit
you never dealt with.
Then tell me what dealing with it
looks like. [stammers]
Do I have to put on a little show
for everyone
and talk about it every day
and process it?
Yeah, then no. I'm
not gonna deal with it.
Look, I was in the hospital with you
for over a year.
I was around when he died.
I was there
when you lost your fucking mind.
And then you just stuck your head
in the dirt.
You can't even say his name, Pryce,
and that's weird.
I don't need to say his name, okay?
I hear it all the time.
And you wanna talk about weird?
We're riding around
in Francine's sarcophagus.
Okay? [stammers]
But I'm supposed to take advice from you
about processing grief.
- That's fucking out of line.
- No.
It's like stepping into a pharaoh's tomb
with all this shit for the afterlife,
i-if pharaohs were into needlepoint.
[breathes heavily]
Oh [stammers]
is that processing it?
Yeah, p-process it some more.
Show me how to process it.
[grunts]
You push me again,
and I'm gonna start processing it.
- Yeah, really?
- Yeah, really.
- [grunts]
- [grunts]
[grunting]
- [grunts]
- Get off.
- [groans] No more pushing.
- [sighs]
Fine. [sighs]
[inhales sharply] All right, look, man.
When you guys lost Jett,
I seriously thought
you were gonna off yourself, all right?
You didn't, and eventually you came back,
and you just acted like nothing happened.
I accepted that because you were okay,
- and [stammers]not great, but
- I know, and so what?
I mean, after Francine,
you disappeared into the woods
and I didn't know
if you were gonna make it.
But here we are.
You know, we're getting through it.
[sighs]
But [sighs] Mitts
[breathes heavily]
What is so bad about this?
Come on.
You've put everything you've got
into this kid, and I'm just nervous.
If it goes sideways,
I don't know
if you'll come back this time.
I don't know if you can handle it.
That's why I came.
I
[breathes heavily] And I appreciate it.
I know you're looking out for me.
- I need it.
- It's my job. I'm your caddie.
[breathes heavily]
I know, you're my caddie.
And you give me advice,
tell me what you see,
where the traps are, how to play it.
But, you know at a certain point,
I have to take the swing.
- That's the way it works, right?
- That's the way it works.
So let me take the swing.
Let me help this kid.
Okay? And I don't know
if it's a good play or a bad play,
but I want I need to do it.
And I I need you.
I literally can't do this
without your help.
Okay.
And I'm sorry about the picture frame.
Ah, don't worry about it.
I hated that picture.
I-I thought I looked haggard in it,
but Francine liked it
'cause her neck looked good.
- I don't know.
- No, you looked great.
- You looked handsome.
- Well, that's very kind of you.
And you're
you're totally not fucked up.
[both chuckling]
- That's why we work.
- [chuckles] Yeah. Yeah.
[Pryce grunts, sighs]
["Cecilia" playing]
[chattering]
["Cecilia" continues]
[speaks indistinctly]
Here you go.
Thank you.
[speaks indistinctly]
[Santi, Pryce speaking indistinctly]
[speaking indistinctly]
[speaking indistinctly]
Yeah.
[cheering]
CHAMPAGNE CUVEÉ de PRESTIGE 2021
[Pryce] Oh, wait.
- We gotta do a toast here to Santi.
- [Elena speaking Spanish]
[Pryce] I mean, one minute you're working
at the frozen food section
in Decatur Market.
The next minute, he's winning
golf tournaments left and right.
- Next stop, U.S. Amateur! Cheers!
- Mm-hmm.
- [all] Cheers!
- [Elena speaks Spanish]
It's late. We gotta go to the hotel.
We're heading out at 6:00.
You sure you wanna drive over there
and back in the morning?
What are the options?
Well, you can crash here.
You can take the big bed
and Pryce and I will take the bunks,
and we'll kick these kids out
into the wilderness.
- Camping?
- [Mitts] Yeah.
I mean, I've got sleeping bags,
I got pads.
You can set up on the roof,
stare at the stars.
It'll be the best night of sleep
you ever had.
Mami, can we?
- Pues let's do it.
- [chuckles]
All right. Santi, grab dessert.
I'll get the gear.
[speaking Spanish]
[Santi, Zero chuckling]
- Look at that.
- What is it? What?
I don't know. It's like
- Is that a star, or is that the moon?
- Oh.
- I'm not [chuckles] sure.
- [chuckles] Dumbass.
[chuckles]