The Chair Company (2025) s01e05 Episode Script

1
[Ominous music playing]
[drumming]
[Ron]
Let's get this greedy fucker.
[Dramatic music playing]
[Quirky game music playing]
[Steve Droyco] There
he is! I knew I thought
I'd seen that guy before!
God damn it.
That's where you saw Ken Tucker?
[Steve] Yeah, that's
where I know him from.
[chuckles]
That's where I know him from.
God damn it.
Red Ball is a shell company.
-What?
-So, he's not the CFO.
Those bios, they're all fake.
They just paid people
to pretend like they were
the board of the company.
He's a model.
They're all models.
Shit. Oh, shit.
What about those?
What about your papers?
What were you gonna do?
[Steven]
It's stupid. It's stupid.
-[Ron] Yeah, but what is it?
-[Steven] Forget about it.
-It's stupid.
-Oh, my God.
-[Ron] What is it?
-She is gorgeous.
It was just
a revenge plan I had.
I was just so fucking mad
at my boss.
-What was the plan?
-In its perfect version,
I was supposed to snatch
his turds in the pipe
after he flushed 'em so I could
return 'em back to his desk
I can't fucking hear you.
You have to speak louder to me.
[softly] In its perfect version,
I was supposed to snatch
You gotta speak louder,
I can't hear what you're saying.
[louder] 'Cause that would
have fucked him up!
Seeing something you did
flushed down the toilet
get returned back to you with
the date and time you did it?
That's fucked up.
You wouldn't have any idea
how that happened.
[chuckles]
You know, you'd be like,
"Uh, something's going on here."
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, yeah.
I went there a few weeks ago
to do a little test run
but I got my fucking hand
caught in a pipe.
Ran out of there screaming.
[screaming]
W-Why do you hate
your boss so much?
'Cause he told me everyone
at Tecca worked naked.
But then one day,
I go into a bathroom
I don't usually go into,
and there are like
four other guys in there,
fully clothed.
So, I go back to my boss,
I'm like, "Uh, hello?
There's guys with clothes on.
What the hell?"
And then, it turns out he's not
even supposed to be my boss.
I'm supposed to be his boss!
He just got there before me
and made himself
my fucking boss!
-[game chiming]
-My God, she's gorgeous.
Steven, why isn't there
a hydraulic lever
-on the Tecca chair?
-There is.
-No, there's not.
-I think there is.
Yeah, sorry, I think I'd know.
There is.
I just told my daughter
all this stuff,
-and now none of it's real.
-[chuckles]
-Come on, Mike, let's go.
-Um, I'm gonna keep playing, Ron.
These girls are unbelievable.
-[game chiming]
-Ooh!
-[chuckles]
-[game chiming]
Oh, my gosh!
-[muffled bass thumping]
-[phone buzzing]
[thumping continues]
[Mysterious music playing]
[chuckles softly]
-[chattering]
-God, it's a nightmare out here.
-Oh, hey. Listen.
-Oh.
If they do not invest
in what you're doing
-Yeah, hmm.
-fuck 'em.
-Oh.
-Okay?
-You got it.
-Thank you oh.
-Thank you so much, Tara.
-Seriously.
-Hey, Sethy boy. Bring it in.
-[chuckles] Oh.
Bye, uh
That's a mama bear hug
right there.
Thank you so much for
showing me Frankenweenie.
It meant a lot.
Oh.
It was really nice spending time
with you guys.
-For me and for Tara.
-It was a lot of fun, Nat.
Will you let me know
what's going on?
You're a little interested, huh?
-I'll keep you posted.
-[chuckles]
But, uh, a lot of that stuff
I told you,
I I think might be dead ends.
-So, no thebaine?
-Nah.
-I got some new ideas, though.
-[phone buzzing]
I'm sorry. What the hell?
Oh, it's the exterminator.
-Hello?
-[exterminator] Ron, you got a sec?
Natalie.
Uh, yeah, we're actually
on our way home right now.
-Is everything okay?
-You're good to come back.
I'm just calling because
I did find a couple of bugs
in your house
I've never seen before.
Oh, weird.
I'm going to take them
to my guy to take a look.
[Tara]
They're your parents, okay?
It's your life, too.
They'll understand.
If we found out
it's a brand-new bug,
do you mind if I named it
after me?
Okay, alright. I'll I have to
talk to you a little later, okay?
Hey, what are you guys
talking about over here?
-Oh, malls, Ron.
-Malls.
[Tara] We're just talking
malls. Talking shop about malls.
For real, what are you talking
about? It seemed serious.
[Tara] Nah, it's not
that big a deal.
-Here, let let me get this.
-Oh. Thank you, Tara.
-Thank you so much.
-After you. Yeah.
-Don't shut it on me.
-Oh, sorry.
-I'm sorry. I thought
-Wait 'til I'm in there.
Wednesday, if you were
thinking of coming to that.
It's only like four hours long.
[Monica]
Douglas is back, everyone.
-[applause]
-Hey!
-[Ben] There he is.
-[Douglas] Oh, my God.
I can't tell you
how good it feels
to see all of you again.
There were times
when I wasn't sure
I would make it
out of there alive.
Luckily, I was under
a refrigerator,
so I was able
to swing open the freezer
and have access to food.
I couldn't pick what I had.
I just grabbed
whatever I could touch.
But I was able to survive,
even though I couldn't pick.
I had a lot of time
to think under that fridge.
And I'd like to apologize
to all of you for the party.
Douglas, forget it.
We're just happy you're back.
[sighs] [choking up]
You're just the kindest people.
-Douglas, glad you're alright.
-Thanks, Ron.
I want to take a look
at the mall plans.
I I want to make sure we
have enough wheelchair access.
I just want to be certain
that we're ADA compliant.
Y-You know what ADA is?
Yeah, I know what ADA is,
and we're completely complying.
I intend to be
all over this one, buddy.
I'm I'm not gonna let you
take shortcuts on those ramps.
How how long are you
in the wheelchair?
Uh, they think, like,
two to eight months.
Um, it's it's sort of
up to me.
[phone buzzing]
Uh, excuse me one second.
Glad you're back.
-Yeah?
-[Mike] I found Oliver Probblo.
He's outside Dayton.
[Douglas] Okay,
everybody, coming through.
Bags off the floor, please.
Bags off the floor. Doris, bag.
-[Doris] Huh?
-Pick your bag up, sweetie.
[Mike] It's a bit of a drive,
but we can go talk to him
tomorrow night.
Can you swing it?
Brenda. Brenda, hey.
They're, uh, blasting the ledge
at the site on Wednesday,
and I told Andrew Bohldo
from Canton Natural Defense
that I would be there
to oversee it.
Yeah. Whatever, Ron.
Oh, and I have some news
we really need
to sit down about.
Um
You know what, I'll wait 'til
Jeff gets back from his trip.
I can talk right now.
I don't leave 'til tomorrow.
No, we'll talk
when you get back.
Um, it's gonna take
a little while to process.
[Suspenseful music playing]
-[doorbell ringing]
-[dog barking]
-[Mike] Hello?
-Come on down, Mike, I'm outside.
-Come up, I'm just popping out of the shower.
-[door buzzing]
[Wazey Waynes] [on stereo]
Shut your fucking fly trap, whore!
You fucking sweaty pig!
What's your cock
doing on my bed?
Cock juice all over
my fuckin' bed.
-What the hell happened to my picture
-Hey, hey, Ron.
-[stereo turning off]
-Hey, hey, hey.
Uh, yeah.
I'm sorry for the mess.
So, I emailed Oliver.
You know, he was an actor.
So, I I told him we were fans
so he wouldn't get spooked.
He said he was doing
his show tonight,
and, uh, we should go by
and talk to him after.
-What are the fancy shoes for?
-[muffled screaming, thumping]
Uh, I don't know. Who knows
where we're gonna end up tonight.
Somewhere fancy maybe, huh?
Hey, want anything to eat?
-Oh, I'm okay.
-It's a long ride, come on.
Sit down,
I'll get you something.
-Come on, come on.
-[muffled screaming continues]
Ah, what the hell?
There's barf in the sink.
Goddamn it.
-[fridge door opens]
-[bottles rattling]
Let's see, uh here.
You want some, uh,
some, uh, chicken?
You want some fried, uh
[muffled screaming]
I'll be right with you.
-Got a whole shirt and everything?
-[banging, screaming]
-[disco music on radio]
-[stomach growling]
Oh! What the hell was that?
[Ron chuckles]
You shoulda ate
some of that chicken.
That was really good
pepper chicken.
Whole lotta onions.
But there's a spot we can get
a bite to eat up there.
They make the the biggest
freakin' meatballs I ever seen.
They make 'em up
with this gray beef.
Uh, you know, it's so gray.
You know what I'm talking about.
Gray beef.
-So, you've been there before?
-Yeah, I spent some time there.
-Actually, it's a really weird town.
-[phone buzzing]
The people are just, uh,
probably, like, everywhere.
-Some good, some bad.
-So, what else did Oliver say?
Well, he's doing, uh,
Scrooge in A Christmas Carol
up there for the last
three years.
Hey, he sent me
a a ton of video
'cause he thinks we're fans.
[chuckles]
But I I watched
A Christmas Carol.
-I-It's a really good story.
-What's he doing now?
Oliver said that he tries
to find things to do as Scrooge,
you know, in the off-season,
so he doesn't get rusty.
He's doing this, uh,
big performance tonight,
but we'll we'll catch up
with him after that.
[Disco music continues
playing on radio]
They said the world was flat
but he proved it wrong ♪
That's how they fall ♪
-[tires screeching]
-Hey, hey, hey!
-What are you doing?
-[car horns honking]
Oh, my God!
[Dark electronic music
playing]
Goddamn it!
I tried to do Scrooge in a jail,
but they were so nasty.
Spitting at me.
The Nazis were the worst,
can you believe that?
I said, "I'm glad
you're all in jail."
I hate those Nazis. I'll say it.
I didn't even want
to do the jail.
My drama coach said do it.
She's insane.
-Right.
-She's been squatting in my apartment for months.
She locked herself
in the bedroom in November
and won't leave.
-Oh.
-Doesn't pay any rent.
Taste this.
They say that's Jameson.
-I don't think it is.
-It is, sir.
Can I get one of those
copper cups?
What, you want a Moscow Mule?
I need your license
if you want the cup.
-It's policy.
-You need my I.D.?
You're afraid I'm going
to steal the cup?
Here you go.
So, you're big fans, huh?
-Yeah, we're really big fans.
-Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, Oliver, uh,
what can you tell us
-about Red Ball Market Global?
-Never heard of it.
But you did
a a photo shoot for them?
Uh, no.
Uh, see right here.
This, do you remember this?
I mean, this here
says you're the CFO.
No! These photos
were taken as an exercise
for my "Life of the Party"
class.
-Wait, wait, what?
-"Life of the Party" classes.
It's classes I used to take
to help you
become instantly the life
-of any party you attend
-Excuse me.
Sir? Sir, excuse me?
Uh, your sleeve keeps
almost going in that soup.
You should watch out.
-What?
-Uh, your sleeve keeps almost going
in that soup, and I just
don't want it to get dirty.
So what? Why not?
-Just trying to be helpful.
-Don't worry about me.
Worry about yourself.
Fuckin' asshole.
[bar patron chuckles]
A-Alright, sorry.
What was this exercise?
We pretended to be other people.
At first, I thought
it was kinda weird,
but then I started
to really have fun with it.
And you know what?
That was the day
I realized
I want to be an actor.
Why did you feel it was weird?
We never did that kind of
exercise in that class before.
-Mm.
-Uh, and and there was this woman there
directing it with
a photographer.
She kept saying,
"You're a businessman,"
or or, "You're a boss."
[chuckles]
Who was she? Who was this woman?
Well, I'd never seen her before,
so I asked Sandy,
-who runs the class
-Yeah.
-"Who was that lady taking the pictures?"
-Yeah!
"I want to be an actor.
And this is my first job."
But she wouldn't tell me.
So then, I said,
"I just want to thank her.
"I don't really care
about the pictures.
I just wanna thank her
for changing my life."
So finally, she gave me
an email address,
and then I hammered her.
"Give me those pictures!"
I didn't let up.
"I want those pictures!"
-So, what was her name?
-[bar patron] Hey, honey,
I want you to meet someone.
This guy here,
he cares about my sleeve.
He's Henry Helper.
He doesn't want my sleeve
to have cheddar soup on it.
[couple laughing] -[Oliver]
I wouldn't mess with him.
This is a coke bar.
Everyone here's a coke head.
Uh, alright, Oliver,
this this woman
who was taking these
photographs in the class,
do you remember her name?
I should.
I emailed her about 500 times.
-What was her name?
-Um
Maggie S. Yes, Maggie S.
-"S"?
-I can't remember
what the "S" stood for
off the top of my head,
but I have the emails
at home on my iPad.
I downloaded them all
from my work email
before I got kicked off it.
You have the name on your iPad?
Come back to the apartment
and I'll look up
the name for you.
But first, I gotta do some coke.
-Then, we'll leave.
-[bar patron] Uh-oh!
Exactly what you didn't want
to happen is happening.
Too bad you can't help!
[laughing]
[sniffing]
There you go.
-That's 75 for the baggie.
-Sold.
Here's 80, my good man.
Since you love
my sleeve so much,
I bet you'd like to kiss it.
[laughter] -[Mike] Why
don't you leave us alone, huh?
-Hey! I know you.
-No, you don't.
Yeah, I do. I know some folks
that would love to know
you're back in town.
We gotta go.
I paid for the coke
with Scrooge money.
-Oh, damn it!
-How 'bout I take a little selfie?
Don't you dare take
a selfie of me.
Hey, whoa, whoa, wait.
Why don't you kiss my sleeve?
We know you care about it.
We know that
it's your favorite shirt.
And I'm your favorite lay.
-I'm your mama.
-[laughter]
Why aren't you kissing
your mama's sleeve?
Aren't I your mama?
-No, you're my goddamn mama.
-Smile!
Here comes Mama Barbie's sleeve!
-I'm not Mama Barbie!
-Yes, you are!
Here's your bottle, Mama Barbie!
-[voices muffling]
-[gentle music playing]
-[Music stops abruptly]
-[crowd gasps]
Oh, God!
-Hag!
-[crowd gasps]
Oh, shit! Go, go!
[Heavy metal music playing]
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, get in, get in!
-Quick, quick, quick!
-Oh, you little fucker!
-Oh, shit!
-Oh, my God!
-Go! Go! Step on it!
-I'm going! I'm going!
-Oh, Jesus! Oh, shit!
-[Mike] Don't stop!
-Get off me, hag!
-[exclaiming]
-[screaming]
-[crashing]
Oh, no!
[Mike] Go!
Where are we going?
Where are we going here?
Oh, we're close. Straight ahead.
Oh, my God. My voice.
[phone buzzing] -I actually
sound more like Scrooge.
-Hey, Nat, what's up?
-[Natalie] Are you okay?
I thought you were
supposed to be in Canton.
-I am in Canton.
-Dad.
Here. Here, here, here, here.
Mi casa! Mi casa!
-Who is that?
-Natalie, I I'm fine, okay?
I'll call you later, alright?
I'm gonna be okay.
Everything's good. Bye.
[Eerie music playing]
-Come on, Oliver.
-Hold on.
[doorbell buzzing]
[buzzing continues]
-[banging]
-How'd they find us?
Oh, the fucking cup.
My I.D., the policy.
Come on, Oliver, find that
name. I need the name.
-What's the "S" stand for, Oliver?
-I can't find it!
[banging continues]
-Look for the "S," Maggie S!
-I'm searching for Maggie S,
-and there's nothing.
-[banging]
Oh, my God. Keep looking!
Please, please.
-Please, please, please.
-This is crazy.
There's a guy climbing the pole.
-Oh, no!
-Keep looking! [growling]
[banging continues]
-Whoa!
-[grunting]
-[banging]
-Uh
-[screaming]
-[thud]
-[Mike] Oh!
-What happened?
Oh, my God.
What happened?!
-He's okay.
-[banging continues]
Oh, God! No, what are you doing?
Leave him alone!
Leave no! No!
[gasps] I'm not leaving!
I'm not leaving!
-Push her out! Push her out!
-Get away from me!
Push her out!
-[clicking teeth]
-Oh, gosh.
-Get away!
-Oh, goddammit!
-You gotta pay rent!
-I'm never paying you rent!
This is 'cause of my sleeve.
[overlapping shouting]
-Give me the fucking money.
-I don't have any.
-Oliver? Is everything okay?
-No!
-Get your hands off of me!
-[Oliver shouting indistinctly]
[all shouting]
[Ron shouting]
♪
[overlapping shouting
continues] -[glass breaking]
Hey! Hey!
Hey, come here!
[Suspenseful music playing]
[grunting] Fuck!
[grunting]
[door slamming]
[loud rhythmic clanging]
[Suspenseful music
intensifying]
[Music stops abruptly] -No! No,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
-Whoa! What the fuck?!
-Don't move. Don't move.
Don't fucking move!
My fucking wife hired you,
didn't she?
-What?
-She hired you.
She sent you here
to catch me cheating.
-No, no, I'm just looking for a guy!
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
-yeah, yeah, she did, she did, she did.
-No!
I seen you in
that green Cadillac
sitting in the parking lot
trying to catch my ass cheating.
-Yeah, that's it.
-I swear that's not me. Just please.
I gotta figure this out.
I love my wife.
I want to keep her.
Okay, okay.
This is what you're gonna do.
-Are you married?
-Yes, I'm a married man,
-and I have children.
-Okay, this is what we're gonna do.
We're gonna make a video
of you cheating on your wife.
-Yeah, we have to.
-No.
What are you talking about?
I don't know your wife!
We're gonna make a video
of you kissing Gretchen
and Gretchen kissing him.
Gret-catch, you okay with that?
-Yep.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-I can't do that!
-Yes, you are.
-I can't!
-Yes, you are!
-Fuck you!
-Yes, you are.
-Fucking hell.
-Yes, you are!
-[overlapping shouting]
-Okay! Okay!
Alright.
Get in tight. That's it.
And go.
Okay, good.
Good, a little more.
One more second.
Okay, good.
Excellent. That's cheating.
Alright. Alright.
Fuck.
Alright, now just let me
fucking process this, okay?
Okay.
I think we're fucking good.
Okay, um Shit.
-[Ron] I'm good?
-No, no, no, no. Not yet, uh
[sighs] Fuck. Okay, thanks.
I think we got it.
You're a good man for
doing this, man. Thank you.
-You can go. Go ahead, go on.
-Okay.
Go on, okay.
[person exclaiming]
[shouting]
[machine beeping]
-[Mike] I'm going in. Let me in.
-Are you family?
Then, you're gonna
have to wait outside.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
He's family.
Yeah, that's family right there.
That's my brother.
Ah, Mr. Trosper, you're awake.
-[chuckles] Yeah.
-Yeah, well, it looks like
you suffered a minor concussion.
And we noticed some
residual fluid in your brain.
Did you have any kind of
head trauma prior to today?
Uh, I did have an incident
a couple weeks ago.
Oh, two concussions back
to back. I'd be very careful.
Another hit could cause some
very serious permanent damage.
I-I'll be careful.
Thank you.
Oh, shit.
Mike, you gotta do me a favor.
Can you please take this phone
far away from here as possible?
I think Natalie's been tracking
me, and I don't want her
-to know I'm in the hospital.
-Alright, you got it.
Thank you.
[door closes]
[machine beeping]
[Mike sighs]
You sleep, Ron.
I'll get us home.
-Thanks, Mike.
-Yeah, you got it.
[Gentle music playing]
[birdsong]
[soft indistinct chatter]
I'm sorry, Ron,
I had to make a a pit stop.
[sighs] Family's hard.
-That's your family?
-Yeah.
It's it's my daughter.
It's complicated.
I don't get to see her
as much as I'd like.
-I didn't know you had a daughter.
-Yeah.
Lynette.
Isn't that a beautiful name?
I wasn't the best father,
or whatever.
I wasn't a good partner.
I don't want to look back
at my life
and and see I was a bad guy.
-Yeah.
-You know, like like Scrooge.
I don't want people
to stand on my grave and laugh.
Well, at least you tried.
That's something.
I don't want you
to pay me anymore, Ron.
-What?
-Yeah.
I I don't want you to pay me.
I want to do it because
it's the right thing to do.
And plus, we're family, huh?
["Rainy Days and Mondays"
by Carpenters playing]
Yeah, I I appreciate that.
But I'm gonna keep paying you.
I mean, this is your job.
No, it's it's not
a job anymore.
I want to help you, Ron.
Talkin' to myself
and feelin' old ♪
You know, you accidentally
hit that guy right in the dent.
You could have killed him.
That's the closest skin to the brain.
Hangin' around ♪
Yeah.
Yeah, pfft, got lucky, man.
Rainy days and Mondays
always get me down ♪
-[explosion booming]
-[workers exclaiming]
[applause]
What I've got, they used
to call the blues ♪
Nothing is really wrong ♪
Feeling like I don't belong ♪
Walking around ♪
-Some kind of lonely clown ♪
-[alarm system beeping]
Rainy days and Mondays
always get me down ♪
Funny, but it seems I always
wind up here with you ♪
Nice to know
somebody loves me ♪
Funny, but it seems that
it's the only thing to do ♪
Run and find the one
who loves me ♪
Hanging around ♪
Nothing to do but frown ♪
Rainy days and Mondays
always get me down ♪
♪
Funny, but it seems that
it's the only thing to do ♪
Only thing to do ♪
Run and find the one
who loves me ♪
What I feel has come
and gone before ♪
No need to talk it out ♪
We know what it's all about ♪
Hanging around ♪
Nothing to do but frown ♪
Rainy days and Mondays
always get ♪
Me down ♪