The Trades (2024) s01e05 Episode Script

1
Excellent work, ladies.
Top notch!
Oh, would you look at that?
It's already 4:00 AM.
Okay. Okay.
Oh.
Okay. Okay. Let's go Mehdi.
Let's go Medhi.
Let's go Medhi.
Okay.
Ah!
Oh shit.
Okay. Okay. Come on Medhi.
Come on, come on, come on.
Oh my God.
Ugh.
Doug!
Wow. What a night, eh?
Fight the power!
Oh God.
Marcus:
Medhi, again?
Did you fly too close
to the sun last night?
Guilty as charged.
These guys again, huh?
Protesting fossil fuels,
the usual.
You know, when
I was a boy,
they said we'd run out of
dinosaur juice by the year 2000.
Hmm.
And we're still pumping, baby.
Chelsea:
Oh, you think that's funny?
The negative PR
from the parade
gave Charles even more
reason to close this place down.
Why would he close down a
fully functional plant?
We start with accounting,
hopefully they can shed
some light on this.
Are you sure
that's necessary?
Of course.
The financials
are everything.
What's the problem
with the accountants?
I mean, they're alright.
Hold up!
What'd you just say?
That your mom
has soft hands?
No, the other thing, dummy.
Oh, Bennett
guy woke up thinking he
was on a space shuttle,
punched a nurse.
Alright then, let's
get to the hospital,
start at ground zero.
Hold on. Substance abuse
and now a possible
brain injury?
You don't just waltz out of
the hospital after all that.
He's not your
average human being.
He's more cockroach than man.
And if he's conscious,
he could be anywhere:
like the legion,
the peelers, the casino.
What a mess.
Bennett's a liability
on his best day,
but he has answers.
I understand but we're
going to accounting.
Ah, I have to link
up with my crew,
make sure they're
set for the day.
I'll meet you up there?
Medhi? You in here?
Fuck Medhi.
Are you hungover again?
Todd:
Well that answers that.
You're getting worse.
You know it's
against policy to-
Alter company
property without-
Oh, come on, man.
Don't be a weasel. Okay?
This-this is an improvement.
Engineering stuff.
Listen, I need you to do me
a solid and watch my guys.
You're just gonna sit
there and sign permits.
Come on, man.
That weird guy on your
crew who never blinks,
he creeps me the fuck out!
And your-your trailer
smells like feet.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Do not let last night's
decisions affect my crew, okay?
You're worried about
my decisions, hmm?
You know, 30 years ago I
decided to send my money
to a school in Bombay.
I know.
And that institution
specialized in engineering
and I decided to attend every
class so that I could tell you:
your crew doesn't
need a babysitter.
Thanks Medhi,
you're the best.
Lights?
- Stay awake!
Fuck you, Todd Stool.
Son of a bitch.
Marcus:
There's off limits!
Marcus:
Stop!
Now you're farther! Fuck!
Come to Daddy.
Oh yeah!
Hey baby, where's
your little boy?
Dewey, flick it,
you flick it!
Oh! Shit!
I'm probably gonna
regret this but,
I wanna be just like you.
You mean you want
to be a dude?
No. Training with
you the other day
was actually pretty
fucking cool, okay?
You're comfortable.
You're confident.
You got this whole
vibe going on.
I think the word you're
looking for is "classy"?
No.
Maybe it's, uh,
"experienced"?
Audrey:
It's more than that.
It's like the way that you
went about things, you know?
You weren't lost.
I want that.
Backwoods:
I'm sure you do,
my young apprentice.
Don't we all.
But why are you giving
me all the honour?
What about those guys?
Is this?
Is this safe to drink?
Whoa, don't drink tap.
Government adds fluoride
as a mind-control agent.
And fish fuck in it.
What? You're serious?
Oh yeah. Let's get into
this car crash right now.
Today you're tagging
along with Dewey.
Dewey, Audrey. You know.
You'd be surprised what you're
gonna learn from our boy.
Well, maybe not
that surprised.
But anyways, look,
the last couple of days,
you know you're
learning the site,
how to work hard,
yada yada.
And now you're gonna
learn somethin' different.
Where the fuck is Todd?
I am Todd.
What is that?
Gimme that.
Homer:
Alright, just don't
plough it back too quick.
Audrey:
That's straight caffeine.
Holy fuck!
Mix some fuckin'
water in there!
Ugh!
Today I am Todd
but with, uh, better skin.
And, uh, smarter and a
lower BMI and nicer hair
and a nicer truck.
And, uh, just a generally
more pleasant demeanour.
As for the day's work,
continue with what you
were doing yesterday.
If you've already
completed it,
just, um, do it again,
but better.
And no questions.
Who are you?
I'm Audrey.
Backwoods:
That's Audrey, Todd's sister.
I paired her up with Dewey.
Ah, congratulations.
For what?
For not looking
like your brother.
I had a very busy morning
and I forgot where
I parked my truck.
I need you two to find it.
Should we look in the ditch?
It's somewhere in
that direction.
Hope you brought an umbrella.
Bev:
You have to come
with us next.
Barb:
We do the craziest stuff. I
went on a water slide one time.
Chelsea:
Sounds like it
gets pretty wild.
Barb:
Oh, we go pretty hard.
I got stuck in a ball pit for
like 30 minutes one time.
Bev:
Ew.
Oh, glad you could make it.
Everything alright?
You know this piece of shit?
I mean, professionally.
Barbara.
Asshole.
So we're still
using that name?
You've got some real
smelly balls coming in here
after what you
did to my bestie.
What did you do?
Nothing. It was a
misunderstanding.
You unbelievable bastard!
That's rich.
Bev:
Son of a bitch.
Barb:
We were supposed to
get matching tattoos.
I got mine and when
it's his turn,
Bitchy McBitch
got cold feet.
Bitch.
We were day drinking,
it sounded like
a good idea.
By the time it was my turn,
I'd sobered up.
Drunk Todd and Sober Todd
don't see eye to eye
on body modifications. Sorry.
You can go to hell.
You left me out to
dry and you know it.
Here.
De-stress.
I dunno why you're making
such a big deal about this.
It was four years ago and I
offered to pay for the removal.
Chelsea:
Okay, I understand that
you two have history,
but we can't let it cloud
the current problem.
Now if you could
provide some clarity
about the discrepancies we
were talking about earlier-
Barb:
Uh uh.
That jerk-off gets nothing.
- Yeah, nothing.
Bev:
Nada. Never.
Zilch.
- Sorry.
Not gonna happen.
Or if you don't cooperate
I could just fire you.
Our union loves
wrongful dismissal cases.
Barb:
Loves them.
Chews 'em up every day.
What do we need to do?
More like, what
does he need to do?
You want the financials?
He gets that tattoo.
And in the same place
that I got mine.
And we're not saying
shit until then.
Chelsea:
Guess you learned your
lesson about dating colleagues.
It wasn't all bad.
I mean, Barb's a good one.
I just don't like needles.
Well you better
get over it.
You know any tattoo
shops in town?
Who here knows
how to tattoo?
Todd:
Great.
That guy.
This car got recalled
for faulty airbags.
Basically
decapitated a dude.
This is your
brother's truck.
Oh, you probably
already know that.
I assume he gave
you a ride today?
You sure know a lot about
cars and who owns them.
What do you drive?
Oh, is this one yours?
It's a long story.
Okay, it's a short story.
What the shit is this?
Bird feed?
Ah! What the fuck?
Aw, come on-
Ow! Shit!
Fucking asshole birds.
Backwoods:
Ah!
Audrey:
What the fuck is going on?
Taser:
Dammit! Shield me!
Shield me!
It's everywhere!
Audrey:
Get me inside!
Ewwwwww!
Holy shit!
Fuckin' birds!
I'll give you all the
money on me if you go away.
Protestor.
She did something
with the birds.
I think she laced the
bird seed with laxative.
How does making birds
shit themselves
help save the environment?
Well how did
she get in?
Marcus:
Don't look at me, man.
I think I got
some in my mouth.
I hate birds.
More than I hate condoms.
Yo, Bareback.
You know nature shit.
How do people deal
with these things?
Well, they shoot them
or they trap them.
Some companies deploy
"critter prickers".
Or we could call
in a falconer.
Smart answers only.
Backwoods:
Well they are sensitive
to ultrasonic frequencies,
makes them think a
predator's around.
You ever ate one?
Of course I have.
Well, if what nature
dude says is true,
I can deal with
these shit rats.
I need access to
the PA system.
What are you gonna do,
throw up on it?
Barb:
Oh my God,
that is disgusting.
It doesn't even say
my name to be honest.
Yeah, it kind of says barf.
- Yeah, it does.
Todd:
Oh, seriously?
It doesn't say barf.
Goddamnit, Barb.
So Todd held up
his end of the deal
where's the documentation,
reports, receipts?
Oh.
- Oh, yeah.
We don't really handle
the accounting anymore.
Excuse me?
Bev:
Yeah, we just do payroll.
Lots of payroll.
Yeah, Bennett's been
handling the accounting for,
I dunno, years?
How many years?
Barb:
Three and a half.
Three, four. I dunno.
While, yeah.
We just saw the top sheets,
never the work.
How do we get the work?
I mean, we have his laptop.
He told us to take it if
anything happened to him, but
Bev:
But the only one with
the password is
Bennett?
- Yeah.
Todd:
Are you shitting me?
Then why the fuck
did I get a tattoo?
Boogie!
- Oh.
Barb:
Geez.
Con artists.
Yeah. Yeah.
Fuck you birds.
Operator Phil:
They're leaving!
Now, boys, if you don't mind,
Papa needs some shut-eye.
Operator Phil:
Looks like it.
Backwoods:
Fuckin' waste of good
meat if you ask me.
But it worked!
Ah, that can't be good.
That wasn't me.
Taser:
Fuuuuuuuuuck!
Holy shit!
Yeah, that's not good.
Medhi, get up! Get up,
you fuckin' drunk.
Let's go, on the move!
Stop traffic.
Medhi:
What?
Steph:
Alright everybody,
I know it sucks,
but power outage means
we shelter in place
till we get the all clear.
I can still smell it.
It's not rotten eggs,
it's like regular eggs.
Last time we
had a lockdown,
we were in here
for five hours.
It's back when I was
on the, the tools.
I'm on probation now.
It's a long story.
Audrey:
Drinking?
Dewey:
Anyway,
operators took their
sweet ass time.
Conceited little pukes.
Think they're so important.
It's-it's just
button pushing.
Please stop talking.
Dude.
I'm just trying to pass
on some knowledge.
The social hierarchy.
They don't teach this
stuff in trade school.
Where did they
teach you that?
Jail?
Is this normal?
Everyone's pretty relaxed.
Behavioural conditioning.
Oldest trick in the book.
Perfected by government spooks
in Afghanistan in the mid 80's.
Now that you mention it,
I, I have felt more and more
detached these last few months.
Oh, thank God.
Chelsea:
Accounting
isn't accountable.
Bennett is what
we're left with.
Is there someway we
can sneak offsite?
Not possible in lockdown.
Safety applies to everyone
regardless of their position.
Guys, this day has been
something else, okay?
I've been following Dewey
around and then I got shit on.
At least it's not permanent.
Ah, your coveralls
look good on you.
Thanks. Yours too.
Well, um, I like your shirt.
That's what I meant to say.
Did you get it at the mall?
Oh, I haven't seen
this much shit
since my septic
tank ruptured.
Well, you've obviously
never been to Burning Man.
One giant litter box.
Ah, well, tripped the breaker.
Yeah.
Steph:
Yeah. Okay. I know, I know.
Team, we're back at it.
Bird guano is toxic.
So please change your
clothes and/or shower.
I mean, do shower at
least once this week.
Thank you.
Well, you better get
back with your crew.
Yay. More Dewey and
his Dewey stories.
Sorry.
And I might be late so can
you catch a ride with someone?
Okay, great.
This day just gets
better and better.
I guess we better get back
to finding Medhi's truck.
Relax, Todd's Sister.
Nothin' new after two,
nothin' more after four.
Besides, I haven't
even told you
about my journey
into the trades.
Nuh uh. No.
All good.
See the angle of
these flare headers?
They're at a fifteen. Huh.
If we change this
diameter to 16 inch
we can redline
this bitch 24/7.
But that means the
flare tip will need
modifications.
Guys, come check this out.
The nerds only gather
outside Mehdi's office
when he's doing
something important.
Historic.
He's about to
revolutionize the industry.
That guy?
He's been hungover all day.
That's when he does
his best work.
Being hungover is
his sweet spot.
Medhi Chowdry.
Welcome to the 2030s
your beautiful bastards!
Yes!
Marcus:
Oh fer fuck sakes.
That's Medhi's truck.
Man.
This guy is so fucked.
He has no concept
of right or wrong.
Well, I'm a new face
and I'm up to date
on my conflict
resolution training, so
Todd:
I once corrected him
on what day it was,
the fucking guy threw
a chair at my head.
That's, uh, creepy.
I can hear everything
you're saying.
Look, if it isn't the
baglicker himself.
Or should I say
boot licker?
Bennett, good to see you back
in the land of the living.
My apologies for the
language, Miss?
Chelsea Nakamura.
I'm the new site manager
at Conch Industries.
So if you're the
new site manager,
then that means
you were passed over.
So Mr. Bennett, Randy.
We've come here because
we need your help.
Do you know a
Duan in plastics?
I suspect that Duan
is of Asian descent?
Bennett:
No, he's Korean.
And you think because
I'm also Asian
that he and I
would get along?
You should give
him a chance.
You deserve to be happy.
Look man,
we need the password
to your laptops
so we can open the
accounting documents.
Oh, I see.
You didn't come here
because you cared.
You came here because
you wanted to use me.
No, that's not true, Randy.
I do care.
You'd cheat on Duan.
Haven't you fucked the
refinery over enough?
For once do the right thing.
What's the password?
You know what I'm
gonna do, Todd?
I'm gonna bang your sister.
And not in some creepy way.
I'm gonna take her
out for dinner.
Wine her and dine her.
Todd:
Yeah?
Yeah. I'm gonna be
your brother-in-law.
I will wed her.
I'll be at every
family gathering,
every holiday,
every funeral
and childbirth.
I can't wait to see
your best man's speech.
That's fucking it!
Bennett:
It's going to be great.
Oh God!
Ah!
Give us the numbers or I
swear on my mother's grave,
I will tear your
dick inside out.
Give us the
fucking numbers!
This looks like fun.
Where'd you hide
Dewey's body?
Oh, he's alive.
He's probably the most
annoying person alive.
I didn't learn
anything about gauges
or flare stacks
or cool shit.
I swear this
whole fucking day
has been a lesson
in tolerance.
Mmhmm.
You got a ride home?
Todd's Sister. 4:00 PM.
It's time to roll?
Looks like you're sorted.
Bye.
- Please, no, no, no.
We never even found
that guy's truck.
It's in God's hands now.
Oh, there are my bloody keys.
You almost fucked me today!
Oh, well, Marcus,
you're-you're a handsome fella,
but you're not
really my type.
I seen the security footage.
Mmhmm?
Wanna guess how the
protestor got in?
Ahhh, let me see
a parachute?
Ah teleportation?
Pogo stick?
Ahhh magic?
Magic?
No!
Bro, she snuck in the
back of your truck.
What?
Man, this frat boy party
shit ain't gonna last.
You've created a lot
of work for me today.
The paperwork?
And the cops?
This is my job!
Okay.
What if my boss starts
asking questions?
Look, just, I don't know.
Tell him the fucking truth.
You sure you want that?
Man, people love
you around here.
The "Myth of Medhi" has
spread coast to coast.
Look, if you can't
handle this shit,
you gotta say somethin'.
Okay, I will.
Oh! Fucking birds!
Chelsea:
We don't talk about this.
Todd:
I can still feel
it in my dick.
You remember the code?
8 6 7 5 3 0 9.
You, ah, wanna
come in for a beer?
I feel like we've earned it.
No, I'm gonna get cracking
on these financials.
Your sister lives with you?
Yeah. She does for now.
Audrey:
This is the throttle.
These are the brakes.
Todd's Sister, it's my bike.
Audrey:
Well, learn it.
I'm sure Audrey
wouldn't mind.
Yeah, maybe just for one.
Dewey:
Old Figure Eight here.
Hey, the Toddfather!
Dewey.
Dewey:
Oh dear God!
Todd:
Holy shit, Dewey!
You good?
Oh, yeah. Super good.
Just took a
sharp turn there.
The drive-your
driveway's not to code.
That's, like that slant,
the town maybe could
take a look at that.
Yeah, the driveway.
Dewey:
Okay, I'll see you
guys tomorrow!
Okay. Off to the hospital for
a tetanus shot for Dewey.
Red nail got him good.
You think you and your
crazy fucking girlfriend
can just pull start my
dick and get away with it?
I'm pissin' at a 45.
I might have
been in a coma,
but I heard everything
you said, Todd Stool.
You were gonna let me die.
Your dick is next!