The Troop (2009) s01e05 Episode Script

Hayley What's with the broom?
Jake You said we were
hunting some wasp.
Felix It's a Vespinox.
You can't catch it
with that thing.
Jake We'll just see.
At home, I'm kind
of the wasp guy.
Somebody sees a wasp
or bee, they call me.
[buzzing]
What?
Jake
Felix You might wanna
[buzzing]
I'm gonna need
a bigger broom.
[zap, zap]
Okay, seriously,
I'm not getting stung.
I'm allergic to bees and wasps.
I'm pretty sure everyone
is allergic to a four foot
stinger stuck in their chest.
Come get some!
[zaps]
[buzzing]
[clank]
[rattle]
Get ready to be
swept off your feet.
[buzzing]
It made more sense
with the broom.
I had this whole thing
worked out where
Felix Take him out.
Right.
[buzzing and rattle of can]
Oh, okay, who forgot to
charge the freeze ray?
I had to charge my phone.
[crash]
Get down!
[swoosh]
Not the pulse cannon!
[blast]
Not the what?
[boom]
[splat]
And that's why
we use a broom.
[Felix gasps]
The guy with the broom ain't
looking so stupid now, is he?
[brush brush]
Felix Take at look at this.
Now we know why the Vespinox
was flying so low.
It was protecting its eggs.
So, we make a big
omelet and go home.
Problem solved.
Hayley You have to be careful
with Vespinox eggs.
You have to contain them
before they hatch or they
can invade a human host.
Felix Didn't you watch the
download we sent of the Vespinox
hatching from a human?
No, thanks.
I once saw a video of my Aunt
Faye giving birth to my cousin.
Sometimes it's all I see
when I close my eyes.
Look, you guys have
to get these back to HQ
and contain them.
"You guys"?
Wait.
Where are you going?
Cheerleading practice.
And I'm lateagain.
And Roxanne, the
head cheerleader,
has been all over me for
my commitment to the team.
Jake Hah!
Commitment?
You're always leaving
us with the hard work.
Don't you think I
have friends to meet?
All right, I couldn't even
convince myself with that one.
Go ahead.
Thanks.
Felix Cheerleaders.
What's the point?
They're not even
part of the event.
All they do is cheer for the
guys who are doing all the work.
Totally.
Just imagine a bunch of girls
in skirts jumping up and down
cheering us as we hunt monsters.
So stupid.
Totally stupid.
[crack]
[splat]
[whistle blows]
[coach yelling]
Roxanne two, three, four,
five, six, sevennice girls.
Oh, look who decided to show up.
Roxanne, I am so sorry
What happened to your hair?
Hayley, you're a mess.
You're supposed to be
representing Lakewood Spirit.
I know, but look, I had
Do you even have
anything to say for yourself?
Your hair looks really good.
I mean, really good.
Very clever.
You'll get away
with it this time.
Get in formation.
But, you're walking on thin ice.
All right girls.
Simple pyramid.
Dude, you got black goo
coming out of your nose.
What?
[thud]
[girls gasp]
I mentioned how great your
hair looks today, right?
[coach yelling in distance]
Jake Wow.
Why so fancy?
What if I were to tell
you I had a date tonight?
Felix I'd say you were lying.
And you'd be right.
Tonight is my 20th
Troop reunion.
Back in the day, we were
the best monster hunters
of our time.
And the best break-dancers.
Break-dance club was our cover.
[computer beeps]
Now that's Ted, aka Sir Smooth.
And Jeffrey, aka Sir Pop 'n'
Lock and I was Sir Flash.
We were the Knights of
the Everlasting Funk.
Pow!
Whoo hup!
Boo!
Felix Sweet!
And those are some cool
looking pulse blasters.
Those are cell phones.
They were pretty big back then.
Felix Oh.
Stockley Hey,
how'd practice go?
I dropped the
head cheerleader.
Felix That's allowed?
I should have gone out for that.
That's not funny, all right.
I could get kicked out and
I have to think of something
that will get me in good
with the squad.
Hayley should have a
cheerleader sleep over party.
That's a great idea, Jake.
You solved it.
Solved what?
Sometimes I say my
daydreams out loud.
Like the other day,
I was thinking,
"What if my hair could talk?"
Stockley Fellows.
We got a problem.
[squishy sounds]
Felix One of the larva
got out.
Where is it?
Is it here?
It can't be.
They've been in the containment
vessel this whole time.
We better head back to the site
before someone gets invaded.
[whoosh and clank of door]
Hayley Hey, you guys.
Hi!
Oh, you look awesome!
Thanks.
You are so welcome.
I love the earrings.
Thanks.
Hayley Hey, cute shirt.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Hey, cute purse.
Hi, it's a mega bag.
Um, anyway, ha, I certainly
hope this is better
than Chrissy's slumber
party last year.
Chrissy's?
She's the girl you replaced.
And her party was bad?
Terrible.
I'm surprised you
don't know her.
You two have, like,
a lot in common.
So, what's she up to now?
Band.
[girls shudder]
Oh, well, then let's make
sure this is an awesome party!
We'll see.
Hayley Well, everyone,
thank you so much for coming.
I really want to have
this slumber party
so that way we can
get a chance
This is fun!
Felix The scope
detects: gum, gum,
dead frog in gum, dog pooh
You don't have to say
everything out loud.
[static from scope]
And our trail ends here.
Red and gold.
School colours.
They look like
pompom sheddings.
Oh no.
The larva must've crawled
into the pompoms and then the
cheerleaders took them away.
So the Vespinox
planted itself
in one of the cheerleaders.
And they're all at
Hayley's party right now.
We've gotta get over there.
In eight hours,
one of those cheerleaders
is going to hatch a Vespinox.
We can't go over there.
They're not going to let
a couple of dudes
into their party.
No, they won't.
[door bell]
[nervous laugh]
Roxanne Who's this, Hayley?
These are my
Her cousins.
I'm Jane.
And I'm Felice.
What's the haps, girlfriends?
I love your purse.
Oh, thank you andAh!
I love your earrings.
They were so Hillary Duff
before she got all grumpy.
And after she got black hair,
blond hair, black hair
Felice!
Ha, um
why don't you and Jane go into
the kitchen and get yourselves
something to drink, hm?
I'll be right behind you.
Okay, uh, BRB TTYL.
They're from out of town.
Ha ha ha.
Take it down
a notch, would ya?
You're just jealous because
she thought my purse was hot.
What do you think
you guys are doing?
We think one of the girls
here is invaded by the Vespinox.
We found some pompoms at
the end of the larva trail
and then it stopped.
Jake If we don't find
which cheerleader is the host
within the next few hours,
your party could turn
into a Vespinox feeding.
[distant giggles]
I'm listening.
The list of symptoms the
host may show are: drastic mood
swings, giggling, playing
with the hair, over-eating.
So, basically every
girl at a slumber party.
Which is why we need you
to collect sweat samples.
That wasn't on
my list of activities.
Jake It's the only way we can
check for Vespinox secretions.
Okay, I just grossed myself out.
So go to it, Hayley.
Collect sweat like the wind.
How am I even
supposed to do that?
Jake Well, let's
make them sweat.
How about a pillow fight?
Hayley Ha, how about not.
Oh, I could set up my 'Dance
Party Paranoia' video game.
So it's settled.
Pillow fight.
Ha, now you need
to listen to me.
If you guys mess up this party
for me and I get booted from
the team, you will both pay.
Got it?
Fine.
Now just one question.
Who did your eyeliner?
Did you do it yourself?
Because it just amazing.
The trick is
to open your mouth
when you apply it
that way the eyes
Can we do this, ladies?
I wonder if this restaurant
is a little too nice?
Pardon me, sir.
Well, I want to impress
some old friends, but
what if they feeling bad
about where they are in life?
I mean, I'm pretty sure
I'm the most successful
guy in my group.
Yeah, I'm the most successful
guy in my group too.
[clatter]
By the way, I saw you drive up.
We have the same car.
AMC Pacer.
Aaah.
Is that Sir Flash
I see before me?
Oh-ah, oh-ah, pow!
Whoa!
Ooooh!
[laughter]
Stockley Ted, Jeffrey.
How are you guys?
Jeffrey Sorry we're
late, old buddy.
That's okay.
Traffic, huh?
No, couldn't decide which
airport to land my private jet.
Jet?
[laughs]
I know, I sound
like a jerk, don't I?
Sometimes I wish
I flew commercial.
Ted Me too.
And that's why having my own
helicopter is a good compromise.
Helicopter?
Ted Well, once you've been an
astronaut, you're always looking
for that next thrill.
Astronaut?
Interesting.
Ted Actually, I feel
kind of guilty.
On my way over here I even
buzzed some poor schlub
in an AMC Pacer.
That was you?
I mean, that poor schlub must
have been pretty scared.
[awkward chuckle]
So, last time I talked to you,
you were working
at a hamburger stand.
What happened?
I ended up buying
that hamburger stand
and open up a chain of them.
Twenty-seven in Japan alone.
Aaaah!
Ted So, what about you?
Me?
Oh man, sureI got
irons in the fire.
Big, big, big irons.
Just red hot.
Busboy AMC!
My man!
Ha ha, all right!
I don't know him.
[video game dance music]
Ow! My eye!
What are you doing?
What? You don't
swab at parties?
It's like the newest thing.
Shellie And I was like,
"LOL, I'll BRB
so don't throw a hissy,"
and he totally wigged
and that's when he
asked Jen out, eww,
who was so toe up
and I was like "OMG".
I'm probably making
like, no sense.
You're totally making sense.
You're just exhibiting
independence inside
the relationship and
he couldn't take it.
OMG.
You totally get me.
[pluck]
Totes.
[party music plays]
So, you know who's
the perfect guy for you?
That guy Jake.
Jake Collins?
Doesn't ring a bell.
Jake.
Brown hair.
Very cool.
Sits next to you in homeroom?
Hey, Roxanne, do you
know a Jake Collins?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Isn't he the one who ah
Paige Oh yeah, that thing.
Eww! Gross!
[laughter]
Wait, what thing?
[girls giggle]
What thing?
[laughter]
Shellie Felice,
you are so funny!
[laugh turns to sobs]
Reeealy reeealy funny!
[sobs]
It's Shellie.
No doubt.
Over-eating, mood swings
She expresses herself and all
of a sudden she's a monster.
Typical insensitive male.
You're letting you feelings
get in the way of this job.
And why do you know
how to braid hair?
Hayley Okay guys,
I have had it!
You are ruining my party.
None of these are changing
colour and they all
think I'm a dork.
[Shellie sobs]
It's Shellie.
She could hatch at any second.
Give me the freeze ray.
It's charging
in the bathroom.
[sobs]
Shellie Noooo!
[sobs]
What are you doing?
[sobs]
Roxanne Can't you
see she's upset?
Her boyfriend just broke
up with her in a text.
Sorry.
Just trying to have fun.
How about we just
pillow fight?
[sigh] Great party, Hayley.
I think we've had enough.
Roxanne! Tanya!
Guys, please.
Get out.
Find out what's so funny
about Jake.
Hayley Out!
I don't care
about having money.
Me neither.
Glad to hear you say that.
For me, it's all
about precious metals.
Ted What about you, Stockley?
Are you in the market?
Shoot, every week.
Milk, eggs, cheese.
[laughter]
Seriously, only the supermarket.
See, I didn't make
a lot of money.
I'm sure you're exaggerating.
I'm a high school
administrator.
Oh.
Oh.
Well, being a principal,
I mean, at least
you're running something.
Assistant vice principal.
Well uh, if something were
to happen to the vice principal,
you're right in there.
I appreciate your
condescending to me but,
I mean, every group has one guy
that didn't do as well
as the others and
I guess that's me.
You're just being
hard on yourself.
If it wasn't for working
with those kids in The Troop,
I'd be totally lost.
Whoa!
No way.
Still work for The Troop?
I didn't tell you guys?
I still run The Troop.
Ah wow!
I'd give anything to be
part of The Troop again.
I'm so jealous right now.
Really?
Jeffrey Absolutely.
You still get a
piece of the action.
The monster hunts,
the cool weapons.
Chi-chi.
Well, we still
have all those,
except the weapons
are way cooler.
And the monsters
are twice as scary.
I want details.
Well last week
we did have a little problem
with an earthquake dragon.
A break-in.
We have what it takes
to be international
jewel thieves.
What decade are you from?
Felix Are you sure
we should be doing this?
Hayley seemed pretty ticked.
We both know that the
Vespinox is in this house
somewhere.
Good.
I need to keep my
eye on Shellie.
She really needs me now.
You're starting
to disturb me.
[cat groans]
But that disturbs me more.
Haaa.
Hissss
[splat]
[groans]
[squishy sounds]
Felix I'm good.
Okay, okay, okay.
IfIcould
just reach
Yeah! Bingo!
Jake A knife?
No, a Hello Bunny nail file.
Jake Why do you
have a nail file?
Because, Jake,
Felice, my character,
cares about her appearance.
Jake Maybe we shouldn't
charge the freeze ray that
looks like a hair dryer next
to the actual hair dryer.
I'll do the finger
pointing around here.
We need the freeze ray.
The cold will force the
Vespinox o of Roxanne.
Felix Gaah!
Mmm! Haaa!
I'll call Stockley.
Call Stockley.
[beep]
Sto-ck-ley.
[beep]
Jake Just
Do you want to use mine?
StoCall Stockley.
And that's how Felix took
down the Mongolian Death Worm.
Jeffrey That kid must
get all the chicks.
Yeah, something like that.
[watch-com rings]
Stockley here.
[distorted voice]
Hey, Felix.
Tell Felix I said "what up."
Got it. I'm on my way.
Gentlemen, duty calls.
Is this a real monster hunt?
Vespinox.
Ted Sweet!
Jeffrey Unbelievable!
Ted Can we come?
Guys, we're adults now.
We have far outgrown our
monster-fighting abilities.
We'll just freeze up.
But that doesn't mean
we can't help out.
Awesome!
We are The Troop
Yeah.
The mighty Troop
Yeah!
And we ain't scared
No.
Our monster group
Ah ah ah ahh.
Listen, Roxanne.
I know tonight
didn't go the way
that I had planned.
[gurgles]
I think you might
want to lie down.
[gurgles]
Roxanne!
[crash]
Girls are so totally mean.
[whack]
[rustling]
[gasps]
[cat meows]
[coughs]
[tires screech]
Sir Smooth up in this piece.
You better recognize.
[tap tap]
Ima bust a move
on this ugly monsta!
[approaching footsteps]
Felix Thanks, Stockley.
No problem.
Are you wearing makeup?
Jake No.
Felix Yes.
Oh!
[chomp chomp]
[gulp]
[tinkling of cat bell]
[zap]
[buzzing]
Roxanne's going to fall!
Hayley I'll catch her!
Ahh!
I'm alive!
I'm alive!
Yes.
Yes, you are.
Hayley, I
Roxanne, look, I know
it's hard for you to say nice
things butyou're welcome.
Knights of the
Everlasting Funk,
get ready to ride.
[buzzing]
Jeffrey Arghhh!
Ted Ahhh!
[buzzing]
[zap]
[phutt, phutt]
[buzz]
[buzz stops]
Look at Stockley.
Bringing the monster down.
Didn't you say adults weren't
good at fighting monsters
because they lose
courage or something?
Stockley?
[snap]
Did you see that thing?
It was horrible.
It's okay, Sir Flash.
You did good.
You okay?
Absolutely.
My life is pretty awesome.
Felix Well, I'm off.
Where're you going?
Back to the party.
Totes.
Seriously, you guys
are going to miss this.