Twins (2005) s01e05 Episode Script
Really, It's the Thought That Counts
Well, happy birthday again, sis.
- Wait, you can't go yet. | - Why not?
We have to wait for Mom and | Dad to do our birthday surprise.
Oh, right.
I wonder what lame excuse they're | gonna use to pull us into their office.
Well, it's always one of two things.
They'll either act like | they're really mad at us,
or pretend there's some | sort of emergency.
Yeah.
We'll find out in a few minutes.
Your teeth look nice.
Yeah, I've been using | the new whitening strips.
Well, stay at it.
Girls, you get in our office right now. | I am really mad at you!
Uh-oh. | We're in trouble now.
Girls, there's been a water main break. | Quick, our office is the only safe place.
And don't forget I am really mad!
- Combo platter. | - Yeah, didn't see that coming.
Twins Season 1 Episode 5 | Really, It's the Thought that Counts
"And how effervescent is my heart "
"to find the words to say, | May every jewel be yours. "
"My girls, on this, your natal day."
That was very touching, Alan.
I almost concentrated | the whole time, Daddy.
Hey, let's do gifts now.
Happy birthday, Farrah.
The Contessa Ionic 3600?
Oh, my God, it's just what I wanted
that wasn't a tennis bracelet | or a Pilates machine or money!
And for you, sweetheart.
Okay, I just hope it's not | another portable planetarium.
It most certainly is not.
Now, I'm just gonna grab this, | and we'll do your gift at a later time.
There was something that I wanted | to get you that was even better.
Well, it's hard to top nothing.
- You would have loved it. | - Not this again.
It was a miniature horse.
Oh, my God, Kathy Hilton got | one of those for Paris and Nicky.
They're like stuffed animals, | but they move.
Are you talking about | the horses or the Hiltons?
I mean, a horse the size of | a dog. Who wouldn't want that?
You know what, I'll just | take the planetarium.
I can return it for something else.
It's not a planetarium.
But your father said that a | miniature horse was insane.
I said inane. | Two different words, dear.
Well, if it's not a | planetarium, then what is it?
It's a reason for us to | go all-out at Christmas.
It's cake time.
All right, girls. Make a wish. | And maybe it'll come true.
Mine already has.
What about you, Mitchee? | What are you gonna wish for?
Oh, I'm not really a big wisher.
Oh, come on, sweetie, there | must be something that you want.
Oh, okay, fine. I'll make a wish.
- Mind if I pop in? | - Wow.
Come on in.
Just wanted to come say happy birthday.
Hey, thanks, Jordan.
So you two going out | somewhere tonight to celebrate?
No, I'm pretty tired. I think I'm | just gonna go home and go to bed early.
Yeah, I think I'll go to bed early too.
That kind of hard living's | gonna catch up with you.
Birthdays dedepress me. | I can't believe I'm already 25.
What are you talking about? We're 29.
No.
Because if you were 29, | then I would be
Blah-dilly-blah-blah-blah.
25 is plenty.
Okay, I stand corrected. | I'm 29, but my twin sister is 25.
That must have been a rough labor.
Nope.
I drank a whole bottle of olive oil, | and these two just slid right out.
Bloop!
Mom, please.
Could I just finish my story, Mitchee?
Bloop.
Okay, I have got fad, | fade, fin, fink, fado--
Fado?
It's a Portuguese folk song.
Mini, mina, mob, mote, and milt.
As in someone's Uncle Milt?
I'm assuming it refers | to the sperm of a fish.
Suddenly we are playing erotic Boggle?
Easy, Sanjay.
So how's Farrah doing? | Is she dating anyone?
No, she still can't find a guy | who knows the Pythagorean theorem.
- Really? | - Really?
How do you geeks fall | for that every time?
Because all it takes is one time.
How come you never invite | Farrah to your birthday parties?
I don't know, we never | celebrate our birthdays together.
Why not?
Birthdays bum her out. She doesn't | like to celebrate getting older.
So while you're having all this merriment, | Farrah's in her apartment all alone?
So, uh, where is this apartment?
Across the street from where | you claim to bird-watch.
How can you let her sit at home doing | nothing? I mean, she's your twin.
I'm not gonna sit here | and feel guilty about this.
I feel guilty about this.
Well, I know what'll cheer you up.
Presents!
Great, as long as it's not | another portable planetarium.
Let's just do presents tomorrow, huh?
I still think that the | girls would have preferred
the little horse for their birthday.
I'm aware that you think that, dear.
It was just so little. | And had such a little tail.
Little hooves.
I wonder if they even | make horseshoes that small.
Enough with the damn horse already!
Alan, what's wrong?
You seem so hostile and angry towards me.
Forget it. | I'm sorry.
Do you wanna talk about it?
No, dear, I'd rather just | read till the Ambien kicks in.
Well, obviously something's bothering you,
and it's not healthy to | keep things bottled up.
That's just a theory.
Well, there are some things | that are bothering me too.
You know what I think we should do?
I think that we should sit | down and talk to each other
about everything that bothers | us about the other person.
Or you too could take double the | recommended dose of these bad boys.
Do you wanna work on | our relationship or not?
Oh, well, when you put it like that.
Good. You can go first, then me.
All right.
Sometimes you have a tendency to | use one word when you mean another.
Like persecute and prosecute.
Or when you told the doctor that you | have a pain in your small contestants.
Every day when I come home, | you have bought more pillows.
We have two heads. | Why do we need 47 pillows?
You are obsessed with trivial | and insipid things like shoes.
Celebrity recipes.
Or the fact that a horse can be small.
You don't vote. | You don't read books.
You think that Condoleezza | Rice is a Cajun side dish.
But you know what the worst thing is?
It's just all so predictable. | Nothing you do ever surprises me.
Yeah, that's it. | You just don't surprise me.
Wow.
Thank you for the helpful feedback.
You're right, it felt good | to get all that off my chest.
Okay, your turn.
Well, okay.
I liked your other glasses better.
Go on.
You know, the ones with the ste frames.
That's it?
That's all I got.
You said things that | bother us. Things, plural.
Glass-es.
Well, there's gotta be something else.
I can take it. | Please.
Nope.
Uh, Lee, I-- | I never would have--
Oh, God, I-- no. | I- I didn't mean--
Look, just forget everything that I said. | Erase it.
Well, I guess I have | a lot to think about.
Good night.
What? Wait. | No, you can't go to bed.
We-- we-- | this is wrong.
It's so uneven. | You need to say more.
Okay.
I love you, Alan.
How dare you say that to me.
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! | Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! | Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Hey, you guys, it's my | birthday, and I am going next.
Hey, Mitchee! | What are you doing here?
I came by to cheer you up because of | how depressed you get on your birthday.
Ohthank you. | I feel better now.
Okay, well, good night.
Wait. | What's going on in there?
Oh, my God, you guys, | I can't believe you made it!
Book club.
Farrah, come on, cut it out. | I know you're having a party.
Why didn't you invite me?
Mitchee
It's just that
You know
Never mind.
No, I wanna know. | Why wasn't I invited?
Well, you know, | it's-- you're--
you're not exactly--
Just say it.
You're not fun, Mitchee.
What?
The hell I'm not fun!
Come on, Mitchee, your idea | of fun is playing Scrabble
with your friend Baba Ghanoush.
- It's Sanjay. | - Yeah, well, I call it Scrabble.
Look, fine, if that's how you feel, | then you don't get any cake.
She's 29!
Lee.
Remember last night we were saying | things that bother us about each other,
and all you could come | up with was my glasses?
Yeah, forget I said anything. | I can live with the tortoiseshell.
No! No, | the tortoiseshell is an abomination.
And-- and I made a list of other things | that must bother you about me too.
Alan, you don't have to do this.
Yes, I do.
Damn it.
I'm-- I'm overbearing.
I'm snobby.
I'm a hypochondriac.
But, sweetie, those things | don't bother me.
That's just sort of part of who you are.
Wait, there's more.
I'm a know-it-all. | I'm condescending.
No, you're not condescending.
Excuse me, I think I know | more about this than you.
I dress like a schlub.
My hair is an unruly tangle.
I'm verbose.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Ver-bose.
Oh.
Got it.
Since when do you carry around a dictionary?
Well, you said
that it bothers you when I misuse words.
So I don't wanna put | you through that anymore.
Anyway, it's helping me | enjoy my new book.
The Condoleezza Rice Story?
Yeah.
It's fascinating.
It's concise, but not concave.
Lee, this is all wrong. | You're making all these changes
when I am the one | who should be changing.
Oh, don't be silly. | I'll see you later.
Where are you going?
I'm gonna go return these pillows.
And thank you for all the | constructive criticism.
It's kind of like what | Condi said to Colin:
"I'm on it."
Hey, Mitchee.
I want to apologize for | what I said last night.
What, about me not being fun?
Yeah, I didn't mean | to hurt your feelings.
Oh, it didn't. I mean, it | might have if it were true.
But it isn't, 'cause I am fun.
Mitchee, nobody who's | fun says, "I am fun."
Well, clearly you just | haven't seen my playful side.
I can be a zany kook.
- Hey, listen up, everyone! | - Mitchee, please don't be a zany kook.
I have spontaneously decided to throw | a birthday party at my place tonight.
You don't have to do this, Mitchee.
And the theme is fun. | Whimsy, capriciousness, jocularity.
The whole shebang.
Hey, what's going on?
Oh, it's good you came in when | you did, 'cause just seconds ago,
I decided out of nowhere to | throw a party at my place tonight.
Oh, okay.
Yep, it's from 8:00 to question mark.
'Cause you can't put a time limit on fun.
In fact, screw it. Why don't we just | say question mark to question mark?
What?
All right, fine. Just come at 8:00.
But only if you're fun. 'Cause if | you're not, you're not gonna fit in.
Hey, Koosh ball! | Look alive!
Ahh. That's hot.
Great party, Mitchee.
Oh, thanks, I'm glad | you're having a good time.
- Hi, Farrah. | - Hi, Farrah.
Hey, it's Baba Ghanoush!
I forget your name.
It's Richard.
As in, "Oh, my God, that was | the most mind-blowing experience
of my life, thank you," Richard.
Ohh!
Or just Dick.
Hey, Mitchee, this party's totally wild.
Yeah, it's great.
I thought you were | more of a Boggle person.
I had no idea you'd throw a key party.
Who told you it was a key party?
That guy Bob you work with.
Hey.
Hey, I thought you were dancing.
I can't compete with Sanjay. | Dude's got mad skills.
Yeah, he brought it, all right.
It's okay. | I'm just biding my time.
He's got asthma.
What about you? | You having fun?
- Yeah, couldn't be better. | - Great. Oh!
Gotta go. There's my cue.
- Sweetheart. | - Hi, Alan. Where have you been?
I was still feeling badly | about all the horrible things
I said to you the other night.
Well, that's okay. People weren't | always nice to Condi, either.
Well, I appreciate your understanding.
But I was wrong. And I think | I have a way to make it up to you.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
Ta da!
Can I open my eyes now?
I thought that was implied with "ta da."
Oh, Alan. | Oh, thank you!
Thank you!
Her name is Tinkerbell.
Oh, you precious, cutie | little sweetie pie horse.
Look what Mommy has for you.
Accessories.
W- w-wait. Where did you get this?
Alan, in San Francisco.
I walked outside and said, | "Who's got a little pink hat?"
- When? | - This morning.
- But how did you know-- | - I had a feeling.
But I only bought this | because I felt guilty.
And I only felt guilty because of | all the things I said about you.
And I only said all those things | because you made me say them.
Hmm. Interesting.
Lee, I don't know what to say.
I'm-- | I'm--
Surprised?
Yes.
And by the woman that you said | never surprises you about anything.
Huh.
That's funny.
Come on, Tink.
Let's go misuse some words and | not vote.
Hi.
Oh, Jordan, hi.
Thanks.
How's the party going?
Oh, great.
So what are you doing out here?
Oh, well, we raised the | roof so much in there,
I had to come out here and raise this one.
You know, so they'd match.
I'm having a horrible time.
Why?
I guess I'm just not | much of a party person.
So why the big party?
Ah, I'm only doing it because of Farrah.
What do you mean?
Well, I guess I just wanted to | prove that I'm as much fun as she is.
But, I mean, who am I kidding? That's | like comparing a kite and, like
Oh, forget it.
I can't even think of a fun analogy.
Well, why does that matter to you?
Well, I mean, I just--
I think that--
Why'd you come to my party and | ask me questions I can't answer?
I'm sorry, I guess I'm not | much of a party person either.
Oh, then, why are you here?
Well, I-- I didn't | come for the party.
I-- I thought maybe I'd | get to hang out with you.
Oh.
Well, welcome to my hallway.
Thank you. | Love what you've done with it.
Yeah.
I was going for long | and easy to walk through.
Ah, well, good thinking, good thinking.
I was gonna bring you a birthday card,
but, well, I couldn't | figure out how to sign it.
Um, you know, "From" or | "Respectfully, your employee."
Or-- or, I don't know, | something novel, like, um
"An admirer."
- But that would be really weird, right? | - Uh, yeah, I guess.
Unless
Unless what?
Unlessit would have been good.
Yeah. | I think it would have.
Really?
Well, it doesn't make a girl's | heart skip a beat like "from," but
There she is!
Hey, birthday girl!
It's cake time.
Oh, cake. Yay.
Hey, Mitchee.
Your friend Baba Ghanoush. | He is so lame.
I think I wanna do him.
- Wait, you can't go yet. | - Why not?
We have to wait for Mom and | Dad to do our birthday surprise.
Oh, right.
I wonder what lame excuse they're | gonna use to pull us into their office.
Well, it's always one of two things.
They'll either act like | they're really mad at us,
or pretend there's some | sort of emergency.
Yeah.
We'll find out in a few minutes.
Your teeth look nice.
Yeah, I've been using | the new whitening strips.
Well, stay at it.
Girls, you get in our office right now. | I am really mad at you!
Uh-oh. | We're in trouble now.
Girls, there's been a water main break. | Quick, our office is the only safe place.
And don't forget I am really mad!
- Combo platter. | - Yeah, didn't see that coming.
Twins Season 1 Episode 5 | Really, It's the Thought that Counts
"And how effervescent is my heart "
"to find the words to say, | May every jewel be yours. "
"My girls, on this, your natal day."
That was very touching, Alan.
I almost concentrated | the whole time, Daddy.
Hey, let's do gifts now.
Happy birthday, Farrah.
The Contessa Ionic 3600?
Oh, my God, it's just what I wanted
that wasn't a tennis bracelet | or a Pilates machine or money!
And for you, sweetheart.
Okay, I just hope it's not | another portable planetarium.
It most certainly is not.
Now, I'm just gonna grab this, | and we'll do your gift at a later time.
There was something that I wanted | to get you that was even better.
Well, it's hard to top nothing.
- You would have loved it. | - Not this again.
It was a miniature horse.
Oh, my God, Kathy Hilton got | one of those for Paris and Nicky.
They're like stuffed animals, | but they move.
Are you talking about | the horses or the Hiltons?
I mean, a horse the size of | a dog. Who wouldn't want that?
You know what, I'll just | take the planetarium.
I can return it for something else.
It's not a planetarium.
But your father said that a | miniature horse was insane.
I said inane. | Two different words, dear.
Well, if it's not a | planetarium, then what is it?
It's a reason for us to | go all-out at Christmas.
It's cake time.
All right, girls. Make a wish. | And maybe it'll come true.
Mine already has.
What about you, Mitchee? | What are you gonna wish for?
Oh, I'm not really a big wisher.
Oh, come on, sweetie, there | must be something that you want.
Oh, okay, fine. I'll make a wish.
- Mind if I pop in? | - Wow.
Come on in.
Just wanted to come say happy birthday.
Hey, thanks, Jordan.
So you two going out | somewhere tonight to celebrate?
No, I'm pretty tired. I think I'm | just gonna go home and go to bed early.
Yeah, I think I'll go to bed early too.
That kind of hard living's | gonna catch up with you.
Birthdays dedepress me. | I can't believe I'm already 25.
What are you talking about? We're 29.
No.
Because if you were 29, | then I would be
Blah-dilly-blah-blah-blah.
25 is plenty.
Okay, I stand corrected. | I'm 29, but my twin sister is 25.
That must have been a rough labor.
Nope.
I drank a whole bottle of olive oil, | and these two just slid right out.
Bloop!
Mom, please.
Could I just finish my story, Mitchee?
Bloop.
Okay, I have got fad, | fade, fin, fink, fado--
Fado?
It's a Portuguese folk song.
Mini, mina, mob, mote, and milt.
As in someone's Uncle Milt?
I'm assuming it refers | to the sperm of a fish.
Suddenly we are playing erotic Boggle?
Easy, Sanjay.
So how's Farrah doing? | Is she dating anyone?
No, she still can't find a guy | who knows the Pythagorean theorem.
- Really? | - Really?
How do you geeks fall | for that every time?
Because all it takes is one time.
How come you never invite | Farrah to your birthday parties?
I don't know, we never | celebrate our birthdays together.
Why not?
Birthdays bum her out. She doesn't | like to celebrate getting older.
So while you're having all this merriment, | Farrah's in her apartment all alone?
So, uh, where is this apartment?
Across the street from where | you claim to bird-watch.
How can you let her sit at home doing | nothing? I mean, she's your twin.
I'm not gonna sit here | and feel guilty about this.
I feel guilty about this.
Well, I know what'll cheer you up.
Presents!
Great, as long as it's not | another portable planetarium.
Let's just do presents tomorrow, huh?
I still think that the | girls would have preferred
the little horse for their birthday.
I'm aware that you think that, dear.
It was just so little. | And had such a little tail.
Little hooves.
I wonder if they even | make horseshoes that small.
Enough with the damn horse already!
Alan, what's wrong?
You seem so hostile and angry towards me.
Forget it. | I'm sorry.
Do you wanna talk about it?
No, dear, I'd rather just | read till the Ambien kicks in.
Well, obviously something's bothering you,
and it's not healthy to | keep things bottled up.
That's just a theory.
Well, there are some things | that are bothering me too.
You know what I think we should do?
I think that we should sit | down and talk to each other
about everything that bothers | us about the other person.
Or you too could take double the | recommended dose of these bad boys.
Do you wanna work on | our relationship or not?
Oh, well, when you put it like that.
Good. You can go first, then me.
All right.
Sometimes you have a tendency to | use one word when you mean another.
Like persecute and prosecute.
Or when you told the doctor that you | have a pain in your small contestants.
Every day when I come home, | you have bought more pillows.
We have two heads. | Why do we need 47 pillows?
You are obsessed with trivial | and insipid things like shoes.
Celebrity recipes.
Or the fact that a horse can be small.
You don't vote. | You don't read books.
You think that Condoleezza | Rice is a Cajun side dish.
But you know what the worst thing is?
It's just all so predictable. | Nothing you do ever surprises me.
Yeah, that's it. | You just don't surprise me.
Wow.
Thank you for the helpful feedback.
You're right, it felt good | to get all that off my chest.
Okay, your turn.
Well, okay.
I liked your other glasses better.
Go on.
You know, the ones with the ste frames.
That's it?
That's all I got.
You said things that | bother us. Things, plural.
Glass-es.
Well, there's gotta be something else.
I can take it. | Please.
Nope.
Uh, Lee, I-- | I never would have--
Oh, God, I-- no. | I- I didn't mean--
Look, just forget everything that I said. | Erase it.
Well, I guess I have | a lot to think about.
Good night.
What? Wait. | No, you can't go to bed.
We-- we-- | this is wrong.
It's so uneven. | You need to say more.
Okay.
I love you, Alan.
How dare you say that to me.
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! | Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! | Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Hey, you guys, it's my | birthday, and I am going next.
Hey, Mitchee! | What are you doing here?
I came by to cheer you up because of | how depressed you get on your birthday.
Ohthank you. | I feel better now.
Okay, well, good night.
Wait. | What's going on in there?
Oh, my God, you guys, | I can't believe you made it!
Book club.
Farrah, come on, cut it out. | I know you're having a party.
Why didn't you invite me?
Mitchee
It's just that
You know
Never mind.
No, I wanna know. | Why wasn't I invited?
Well, you know, | it's-- you're--
you're not exactly--
Just say it.
You're not fun, Mitchee.
What?
The hell I'm not fun!
Come on, Mitchee, your idea | of fun is playing Scrabble
with your friend Baba Ghanoush.
- It's Sanjay. | - Yeah, well, I call it Scrabble.
Look, fine, if that's how you feel, | then you don't get any cake.
She's 29!
Lee.
Remember last night we were saying | things that bother us about each other,
and all you could come | up with was my glasses?
Yeah, forget I said anything. | I can live with the tortoiseshell.
No! No, | the tortoiseshell is an abomination.
And-- and I made a list of other things | that must bother you about me too.
Alan, you don't have to do this.
Yes, I do.
Damn it.
I'm-- I'm overbearing.
I'm snobby.
I'm a hypochondriac.
But, sweetie, those things | don't bother me.
That's just sort of part of who you are.
Wait, there's more.
I'm a know-it-all. | I'm condescending.
No, you're not condescending.
Excuse me, I think I know | more about this than you.
I dress like a schlub.
My hair is an unruly tangle.
I'm verbose.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Ver-bose.
Oh.
Got it.
Since when do you carry around a dictionary?
Well, you said
that it bothers you when I misuse words.
So I don't wanna put | you through that anymore.
Anyway, it's helping me | enjoy my new book.
The Condoleezza Rice Story?
Yeah.
It's fascinating.
It's concise, but not concave.
Lee, this is all wrong. | You're making all these changes
when I am the one | who should be changing.
Oh, don't be silly. | I'll see you later.
Where are you going?
I'm gonna go return these pillows.
And thank you for all the | constructive criticism.
It's kind of like what | Condi said to Colin:
"I'm on it."
Hey, Mitchee.
I want to apologize for | what I said last night.
What, about me not being fun?
Yeah, I didn't mean | to hurt your feelings.
Oh, it didn't. I mean, it | might have if it were true.
But it isn't, 'cause I am fun.
Mitchee, nobody who's | fun says, "I am fun."
Well, clearly you just | haven't seen my playful side.
I can be a zany kook.
- Hey, listen up, everyone! | - Mitchee, please don't be a zany kook.
I have spontaneously decided to throw | a birthday party at my place tonight.
You don't have to do this, Mitchee.
And the theme is fun. | Whimsy, capriciousness, jocularity.
The whole shebang.
Hey, what's going on?
Oh, it's good you came in when | you did, 'cause just seconds ago,
I decided out of nowhere to | throw a party at my place tonight.
Oh, okay.
Yep, it's from 8:00 to question mark.
'Cause you can't put a time limit on fun.
In fact, screw it. Why don't we just | say question mark to question mark?
What?
All right, fine. Just come at 8:00.
But only if you're fun. 'Cause if | you're not, you're not gonna fit in.
Hey, Koosh ball! | Look alive!
Ahh. That's hot.
Great party, Mitchee.
Oh, thanks, I'm glad | you're having a good time.
- Hi, Farrah. | - Hi, Farrah.
Hey, it's Baba Ghanoush!
I forget your name.
It's Richard.
As in, "Oh, my God, that was | the most mind-blowing experience
of my life, thank you," Richard.
Ohh!
Or just Dick.
Hey, Mitchee, this party's totally wild.
Yeah, it's great.
I thought you were | more of a Boggle person.
I had no idea you'd throw a key party.
Who told you it was a key party?
That guy Bob you work with.
Hey.
Hey, I thought you were dancing.
I can't compete with Sanjay. | Dude's got mad skills.
Yeah, he brought it, all right.
It's okay. | I'm just biding my time.
He's got asthma.
What about you? | You having fun?
- Yeah, couldn't be better. | - Great. Oh!
Gotta go. There's my cue.
- Sweetheart. | - Hi, Alan. Where have you been?
I was still feeling badly | about all the horrible things
I said to you the other night.
Well, that's okay. People weren't | always nice to Condi, either.
Well, I appreciate your understanding.
But I was wrong. And I think | I have a way to make it up to you.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
Ta da!
Can I open my eyes now?
I thought that was implied with "ta da."
Oh, Alan. | Oh, thank you!
Thank you!
Her name is Tinkerbell.
Oh, you precious, cutie | little sweetie pie horse.
Look what Mommy has for you.
Accessories.
W- w-wait. Where did you get this?
Alan, in San Francisco.
I walked outside and said, | "Who's got a little pink hat?"
- When? | - This morning.
- But how did you know-- | - I had a feeling.
But I only bought this | because I felt guilty.
And I only felt guilty because of | all the things I said about you.
And I only said all those things | because you made me say them.
Hmm. Interesting.
Lee, I don't know what to say.
I'm-- | I'm--
Surprised?
Yes.
And by the woman that you said | never surprises you about anything.
Huh.
That's funny.
Come on, Tink.
Let's go misuse some words and | not vote.
Hi.
Oh, Jordan, hi.
Thanks.
How's the party going?
Oh, great.
So what are you doing out here?
Oh, well, we raised the | roof so much in there,
I had to come out here and raise this one.
You know, so they'd match.
I'm having a horrible time.
Why?
I guess I'm just not | much of a party person.
So why the big party?
Ah, I'm only doing it because of Farrah.
What do you mean?
Well, I guess I just wanted to | prove that I'm as much fun as she is.
But, I mean, who am I kidding? That's | like comparing a kite and, like
Oh, forget it.
I can't even think of a fun analogy.
Well, why does that matter to you?
Well, I mean, I just--
I think that--
Why'd you come to my party and | ask me questions I can't answer?
I'm sorry, I guess I'm not | much of a party person either.
Oh, then, why are you here?
Well, I-- I didn't | come for the party.
I-- I thought maybe I'd | get to hang out with you.
Oh.
Well, welcome to my hallway.
Thank you. | Love what you've done with it.
Yeah.
I was going for long | and easy to walk through.
Ah, well, good thinking, good thinking.
I was gonna bring you a birthday card,
but, well, I couldn't | figure out how to sign it.
Um, you know, "From" or | "Respectfully, your employee."
Or-- or, I don't know, | something novel, like, um
"An admirer."
- But that would be really weird, right? | - Uh, yeah, I guess.
Unless
Unless what?
Unlessit would have been good.
Yeah. | I think it would have.
Really?
Well, it doesn't make a girl's | heart skip a beat like "from," but
There she is!
Hey, birthday girl!
It's cake time.
Oh, cake. Yay.
Hey, Mitchee.
Your friend Baba Ghanoush. | He is so lame.
I think I wanna do him.