Asobi Asobase: Workshop of Fun (2018) s01e06 Episode Script

1
Asterisk
Would you like to read
Key of Solomon together?
Um
You say that like you'd say "Want to
read a fashion magazine together?"
But that's not a fashion magazine, is it?
You're right.
But it's one of the more
well-known magic books.
Yeah, but magic books as a
whole aren't really mainstream.
How has your hunt for
club members been going?
No one, yet.
Why did you end up on your
own all of a sudden, anyway?
Um
Two graduated, one transferred,
and the last one got teleported.
She says it like she just faxed them.
So two graduated and two transferred, right?
No, one got teleported.
It's okay, that's what I heard.
But teleported where?
Well
She's been saying she wanted to go, so possibly to the River Styx,
which would take her to Hades.
She says it like she went to visit Skytree.
So what's the name of this
person that got teleported?
Agrippa.
No, not her nickname, her real name.
Mato Aguri.
All right.
Let's head to the faculty room.
Yeah.
Wh-Why?
Let's ask the teachers what happened to her.
Faculty Room
Mato-san?
Was there anyone with that name in our year?
Um, hang on.
Oh, there was, in Class 1.
What happened to her?
U-Um
It looks like she's ill.
What do you mean by that?
Ill?
I never heard about this!
Y-Yeah?
Where is she?
Which hospital is she at?
If she hasn't told you herself,
I'm not sure I should.
But hey, don't worry too much.
She'll be all better and
back at school soon enough.
You can see her then.
Th-Thank you, Sensei.
Pastimers Club
Oka-san, are you okay?
Did Mato-san seem ill at all?
I can't believe I didn't notice, but
just before she got teleported
Hey, have you read Heptaméron?
I have.
I heard it was written by Pietro d'Abano,
but apparently that's BS.
Yeah, Pietro d'Abano is
from the 13th century,
and Heptaméron is supposed to have
been written in the late 16th century.
I know.
But
Hang on, I'm going to lie down for a bit.
Are you sick?
No, not at all.
I'm just tired from P.E. again.
Okay.
Hey
I'm secretly making the Fifth
Pentacle of the Sun right now.
So if I suddenly vanish one day,
just think of it as being because
my transportation magic worked.
You're always so ambitious, Agrippa.
But please don't vanish on me.
That happened shortly before she went away.
Why didn't I notice what was happening?
Oka-san!
What about magic?
Is there any magic that'll
help her get better?
That stuff doesn't really work.
Wait!
Why are you suddenly being so realistic?
You always have so much
blind faith in the occult.
Please don't come to your senses now.
Olivia-san
Do you think someone even at my
level could make a difference?
You would!
It would definitely work!
All right, I'm going to do this magic, too!
I-I'll help, too.
So what's this magic we're doing?
Let's see
How about this doll magic from New Orleans?
The voodoo doll.
First, fasten two pieces
of wood into a cross.
Next, wind it up in string, and
add to it the person's likeness.
I can't tell how that looks
any different from Oka-san.
Next, we prepare marking pins.
We use different colored marking
pins depending on what we're doing.
We're trying to rid her of the suffering
that is illness, so we use black.
And I want to stab the part where she's ill,
and chant, "Suffering, be gone," but
But
Where am I supposed to stab her?
Where was Agrippa ill?
Why didn't she tell me anything?
Let's stab her all over, then.
We don't have to know where she's sick
if we stab her all over and chant,
"Get better all over."
Y-You're right.
Get better, Agrippa.
Get better
Get better
Th-That looks brutal.
I hope she gets better now.
Oh, I'll go see if there're
more charms that'll work.
Okay.
Thank you, Pastimers Club.
I shall meet Agrippa again.
Sorry I'm late.
Huh, what were you up to?
We were praying with a voodoo
doll for Mato-san to get better.
Huh.
Did you stab her butt, too, then?
No, we didn't. Why?
Oh, really?
No, I didn't mean anything by that.
Never mind.
I thought I shouldn't tell them, since
she's getting surgery for hemorrhoids,
but I hope I'm making the right decision.
A week later, they were
reunited with Agrippa.
Asobi Asobase
Studying for Exams
I'm handing out the results
for the first term exams.
Ando-san.
Yes.
Ito-san.
Yes.
Cower before me, pitiful masses.
Behold my true potential.
I've been studying diligently
this whole time,
and then for the last two
weeks before the exam,
I went on just three hours of sleep a day.
The result? An average grade over five
subjects and secondary courses of 98.2.
Shoot, I'm getting the chills,
picturing myself at the peak.
I'm so turned on!
Honda-san.
Yes.
Total grade Average Year Ranking
884 98.2 2nd
Year Ranking
2nd
You got first again this
year, Misa-chan? Wow.
I'm awesome, right?
You're kidding Weren't
you messing around a lot?
That's not true.
I was studying with my boyfriend.
And then what happened?
Pastimers Club
Strange.
Something's not right.
I've been abstaining from fashion and
relationships to focus on my studies.
From the looks of it, I spent a
lot more time studying than her.
So why am I being outdone by a wretched
slut who doesn't take life seriously?
Please understand, audience,
that Hanako's thoughts have become
somewhat violent from the shock.
Hanako had trusted that results
were proportionate to effort.
She didn't want to believe in the possibility
that they had a difference
in innate intelligence,
and that she had lost because
she was not as gifted.
And sadder still,
the other two had bombed, and
were taking remedial classes.
Being by myself is making me stew
in negative thoughts even more.
Kasumi-san did pretty bad
on the English exam again.
What kind of special skills
does it take to do so bad?
You could easily pass by just memorizing
some words and example sentences.
Although she is trying.
Her efforts aren't quite
sticking to her brain.
They're seeping out of her
ears and being converted
into atmospheric nitrogen, I'm sure.
As for Olivia
Why doesn't she ever study for anything?
Two weeks before the exams
What're you up to, Hanako?
The term exams are coming up.
I thought I'd make good use of my time.
From two weeks ahead?
You'll be freaking out if you slack
off until a week before, Olivia.
Why not just cram it all the night before?
Cram it?
I don't think you can, with all the
subjects that are on the term exams.
That's not true.
You just need to wing it so you don't fail.
But you did fail!
Hanako-sama, congratulations
on ranking second in the year.
Don't suddenly pop up like that, damn it!
But I was here the whole time.
That's even freakier!
Uh
How much did you hear?
Huh?
Er, you were silent the whole time.
O-Okay.
But I did sense an aura
of "That girl in first
isn't going to get away with making
it to the top canoodling with boys."
Can't you be a little more tactful?!
But I feel like you're winning
at life if you make first.
How can I not get jealous?
Hanako-sama, I disagree.
You think you've already won or lost
at life at middle school? Hilarious!
Are you cheering me up or making fun of me?
But I'd taken notice of your distress,
and have been working in
secret with your grandfather.
With Grandpa?
Yes.
I'd spoken with him about it before.
Hanako-sama seems to want a lover.
What?
Hana-chan does?
She doesn't even have all of her
pubic hair. She's too young.
No, I'm quite sure she has
a full coat of pubic hair.
I'm going to take both of you
to court for sexual harassment!
And so the two of us built this together
The Honda family's home-built android,
Eighteen Summer "You Have Such
Beautiful Fingers" Koichi-kun.
Th-This reeks of despair.
You don't need to bother.
Hang on, he has voice functionality, too.
Come on, this problem isn't even
that hard. You can do better.
He's not bad.
Yes.
The two of us worked hard recording
the voices for you, Hanako-sama.
You two recorded this voice?!
Please, give it a try.
And then what happened?
Th-This is creepier than I thought.
Hey.
You made a mistake.
Right.
Sorry.
Wrong.
Huh?
You mean, "teehee."
Holy shit, he's annoying!
I don't think I need this.
W-Wait, please!
We made it based on simulations of
conversations that a maiden would enjoy.
By our calculations, he's perfect!
There's no way you and Grandpa could
have made a perfect simulation!
Wait up.
Hana-chan, has Aunt Flo come to visit?
You sound vulgar, miss.
You sound just like Grandpa
and it's vulgar as hell!
I'm going to destroy you!
Hanako-sama!
You don't have remedial
classes tomorrow, Kasumi?
I don't.
And you got through all the
remedial classes, too, huh?
We were just gone for remedial classes
and Hanako-san had killed a man!
Wait, that's not it, you two!
It's a doll!
Hana-chan, how could you?
The decapitated head is talking!
That's not what it is!
Asobi Asobase
A New Look
So hot
I want to cut my hair.
A boy birdie and a girl birdie,
flirtie flirt, flirtie flirt
Olivia, you're already here.
No, Olivia!
What, Hanako?
Don't!
Cutting your hair won't fix your B.O.!
I just wanted to cut my
hair because it's hot.
What did you just say?
Sorry, I lost my memories.
You shouldn't cut it yourself, though.
You have to go to a stylist.
I'll go if I mess up cutting it myself.
Don't!
Sorry I'm late.
I stopped by the library.
Let go! Let go!
The scissors!
Get back, I'll stab you!
Did you break up?
Not at all.
It's just so hot.
Oh, I see.
But you have such nice hair,
it'd be a shame to cut it.
She's right.
You have cute curly hair.
Why don't you tie it in a
ponytail if it's too hot?
It gets even more stuffy
inside with a ponytail.
Aren't you hot, Hanako?
I'm fine so far.
Oh.
So how much were you going to cut?
Very short.
That's even more of a reason to
have a professional do it for you.
Yeah.
If you do it yourself and mess up,
you'll seriously have no choice
but to shave it all off.
I'll try cutting just a little, then.
If I screw up, I'll go see a stylist.
I'm sorry, I can't do it!
Undo it, please!
Nope, nope, nope!
Oh no, I shouldn't have done it!
Hair is what makes a woman!
Exactly, it's what makes a woman!
U-Um
No one can tell the difference. Don't worry.
Oh, really?
Sheesh, don't scare me like that.
Let's try practicing on your bangs, then.
How has she not learned her lesson?!
Snip
This is bad!
You cut way too much of your bangs!
You were the one who told me to do it!
I didn't think you'd cut it so far!
Like, a millimeter!
A millimeter!
H-Hey, that much is
hard not to notice.
You aren't trying to cheer me up, are you?
You're trying to finish me off!
You could fix it by taking hair from
the back and using it as your bangs.
L-Like this?
Y-Yeah.
And then cut it to the
same length as your bangs.
I-Is it back to normal?
It isn't.
Come on, you're killing me!
It's no use.
Let's go the stylist's.
Yeah.
But I can't go outside looking like this.
What do we do?
What shall we do?
Nope.
I'm not leaving this room.
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
Sensei, Olivia's hair!
Huh? What's wrong?
I cut it myself and messed up.
Oh, dear.
Is there any way to hide it?
Okay, why don't you wear a hairband
and just brush your bangs back?
Like this.
Yeah.
I think this could work.
It's cool, too.
You're so smart, Sensei.
Oh, wait, m-my acne.
Never mind.
Is there any other way?
I'm never taking a step
out of this room again.
Um
All right, I'll tidy it all up for you.
Believe it or not, I'm really
good at cutting bangs.
I cut my own bangs, after all.
My own
Her own?
Wait, Sensei
Sensei!
Asobi Asobase
Spirited Combat, Again
Hey, Sensei, you're already here.
Olivia.
How did you get that wrong?!
You have the same bangs.
Hey, you're already here, Oli-sen—
That was a one-time mistake, right?
Don't you dare make it my nickname!
It sure is hot these days.
The floor's nice and cold.
Isn't that gross, Hanako?
Don't worry, Sensei cleans it every day.
Oh yeah, there's a game in Hokkaido
where you pull people out while
they're sitting like that.
What's that?
Oh yeah!
Daikon pulling, right?
Daikon?
You pull the pullee like
they're a daikon root.
This is how Maeda taught me when I was
little, so the rules might be a bit Maedafied.
Okay, Kasumi-san and I will go first.
You can watch.
Okay.
Kasumi-san's the daikon.
If I pull Kasumi-san out
of this circle, I win.
Daikon, takuan, buri
daikon, buri buri buri
This dance and song are
probably Maeda-chan's rules.
K-Kasumi-san, may I place
my hands on your legs?
Y-Yes.
R-Really?
Don't hit me later.
Okay.
Hanako's turning into a horny old dude.
Here I go.
Damn, she's so heavy.
Something like that?
What was that? I don't get it.
I mean, it wouldn't be fun if
I showed you the whole thing, right?
I have to leave the best part
for you to try yourself.
Hanako-san
I'll be it this time.
Y-Yeah.
I feel bad. Sorry.
Okay, Olivia and I are the daikon.
Okay.
Daikon, takuan, buri
daikon, buri buri buri
Is that really necessary?
We're moving fast!
Hang in there, Hanako!
Hanako-san, you have to put more
strength in your lower back.
Olivia! I'm levitating!
Hanako!
Mommy! Mommy!
Shoot. She's going to take me with her.
Olivia!
Why, Olivia?
Why have you betrayed me?
You're awful!
I don't want to die yet!
I'll see you on the other side, Olivia!
Was this game always like this?
Things have gotten kind of awkward.
Nah, Hanako-san was just over-acting.
You were totally into it, too, Kasumi-san.
Sorry I'm late, guys.
Sensei, let's play daikon pulling.
Oh, that's the game where you
tug at each other's legs, right?
I'm pretty good at holding on, you know.
Noo!
She was the first to get pulled out.