Big Mood (2024) s01e06 Episode Script

1
Big squash for my lady!
Are you all right? Your eyes
have gone all small, like a snake.
I'm grand.
OK, podcast about cults,
or sad songs by sad women?
Sad songs, please.
You look adorable.
You been drinking milk again?
- Your skin's gone to shit.
- Mm.
I know it soothes you to criticise,
so you go for it, mama.
I've got some acid-y stuff
in the bathroom.
- I think you need some acid-y stuff.
- Am I on Queer Eye?
- Just saying.
- Thank you.
OK, so, first pill on
- Tuesday.
- Tuesday, I have it written down.
At the, um
Clinic, grandad.
Clinic. Um, I will meet you there.
And then,
second pill on Wednesday, at home.
And then, the messy bit.
I will get the post aborsh essentials in.
Pringles, gummies, the paints.
- Paints?
- You might want to paint?
- I won't.
- Hm.
- Are you leaving?
- No.
I'll stay until you fall asleep.
What am I,
Sabrina the fucking Teenage Witch, now?
What the fuck?
Look, I am taking my meds.
I am drinking 2.5 litres of water a day,
even though water makes me too aware
of the flavour of my own mouth,
and I'm even doing therapy,
albeit via an app,
potentially with an AI bot.
So, for the tenth time this week,
I ask you, why are you here?
Nice try, but I'm stronger than you.
For one thing, I'm real.
But we love blood.
Well, I love sanity.
We can't always get what we want.
Has potential.
Good luck getting that blood you speak of.
Hey!
Oh, my God, Dave,
I'm covered in knives.
This new American
reality show I really wanna watch.
It's women who married serial killers,
through their daily lives.
Like, Real Housewives of Mass Murder.
Apparently, Ted Bundy's widow is wild.
What are you doing here, anyway?
Thought I wasn't seeing you 'til tomorrow.
Uh, I
I need a coffee.
The appointment's at 11, OK?
If you're late,
I will not share my painkillers with you.
I'm gonna take the rest of the day off,
if you wanna hang?
Celebrate my final day
of being with child.
Right, um, no I can't.
I promised Coco I'd go visit.
Do you remember Coco?
I was on the ward with her.
Oh, yeah.
No, I get it, of course.
I think I'm getting sympathy pregnant,
my stomach is fucked.
- D'you have any Imodium?
- Did you eat melted cheese?
Maybe. I wouldn't know.
Aww.
I'm fine, I'm just
Just gonna miss it here.
Course you are.
We should do something with the money.
Not something stupid like Jay.
Like, we should go somewhere.
- IKEA.
- No, we should, like,
fuck off out of here, somewhere sunny
where you can write
and I can just be sad and sexy.
OK, I love that.
We could go to LA.
Yes, we could be Poundland Kardashians!
Drive around in a big car
and talk about gratitude.
OK, I gotta go.
Coco lives in the arse-end of nowhere,
and I have to shower first,
but get an Airbnb,
Find us our Kardashian house.
Be the Kris.
When am I not the Kris?
We literally just discussed this.
- There you are!
- Hey, Coco.
Took you bloody long enough.
I'm gonna have to work and chat,
I'm afraid.
I had a call girl hen do
place a massive order last week.
- You look weird.
- It's really the warmth
- and compassion I come here for.
- What did you come here for?
- I need help with a play I'm writing.
- You can't put me in it.
- I'll sue you.
- You can't be in it,
- it's a fictional play.
- Hm.
But there is a character
with schizophrenia.
- Are they a serial killer?
- No.
- I swear to God, if they--
- I'm mentally ill, too.
- Why would I do that?
- But not in as cool a way.
Hang on, I'll get Mum in here.
Linda!
Linda, can you come here?
- Oh, Jesus.
- Bring the biscuits!
No, it's-- Mum'll just remember
this stuff better than me.
I mean, she's not crazy.
Also, she knows loads about this stuff.
She bloody loves mental illness.
She loves mental illness?
She won't stop banging on about it.
Oreos for the screamer.
Mum, Maggie wants to exploit
my debilitating illness for artistic gain,
so I'm gonna need help
recalling my trauma.
Mm, I'm writing a fictional play,
where there's a character
with schizophrenia,
and I just had a couple of questions,
nothing, like, intrusive.
- They're not a serial killer, are they?
- No!
So, this character,
um, she starts seeing things,
things that aren't there,
and she starts to think,
"Oh, maybe I've got schizophrenia."
- OK, no, straight away, this is bollocks.
- What do you mean?
Nobody with schizophrenia would
ever think they had schizophrenia.
Hang on, love. That's your experience.
Everyone is different.
I never thought
there was anything wrong with me.
I thought the things I was seeing
and hearing were real.
Also, write this down, I am non-violent.
Never even swatted a fly.
One thing I will say is,
hallucinations aren't exclusive
to schizophrenia.
- I told you, she fucking loves it.
- Well, it's very interesting
what the mind does to itself.
And it differs so much, person to person.
That character might be better off
going to see a psychiatrist.
OK, right.
What else?
- No, I think that's it.
- What?
I have way more trauma to dump.
Aw, well, if I have more questions,
I can come back.
I'm guessing the bulk of your research
has come from A Beautiful Mind.
Uh, put some respect on John Nash's name.
He did a lot for you people.
Huh?
She's got zero sense of direction.
It's pathetic.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
G'day.
Yes, it's me, Dr John Cade, himself.
Please, no curtseys.
Do you have a phone I can borrow?
No, I don't.
I'm a hallucinated doctor from the past.
I'm actually feeling a bit nervy.
I don't wanna go all sweaty and bleed-y,
like Penny from Dirty Dancing.
Anyway, just checking you're awake.
We've gotta be at GIRLBORSH in two hours.
This is a boar, right?
I'm gonna say it's a boar.
Taxidermy's so gross.
Unless it's by my godfather.
- Damien Hirst.
- Aw, man.
Dad and me went to this junk sale
held by this old East End gangster,
and I begged him to get this for me.
- What are you doing?
- Just putting shit on eBay.
Are you finally doing a reno'?
My mate, Carlos,
is this super tight concrete artist.
- I'll get you his number.
- No.
Did I not tell you?
We sold the bar.
- What?
- Yeah. Yeah, we're closing.
But don't worry, my friend, Dean,
needs someone shallow and inefficient
to work at his new vegan mezcal bar.
I told him I had the perfect candidate.
What are you doing?
And this is how you tell me?
I'm sorry.
I had no idea you'd give a shit.
This bar,
it's like my home, you know?
No, this bar is like my home.
You spent the whole night outside,
like a farm animal.
Would anyone like to hear the story
about how I discovered lithium
- as a psychiatric treatment?
- No.
It all started when I began taking piss
from the nutters in the nutter ward,
and injecting it into guinea pigs.
I hate him. Why is he here?
He's creepy.
Uh, pot, kettle, black, guys.
Where are you going?
To find the station.
Eddie needs me, today.
For a pinball machine?
Eddie.
I need to come clean about something.
OK, make it quick.
I've got an appointment to get to.
My name isn't Klent.
- What?
- You got it wrong when we met,
and my mother told me,
the key to a good interview
- is to blindly agree with everything.
- OK.
I did think it was weird.
I know, right? Klent.
It's not a name.
Ah
- So, what is your name?
- It's Krent.
Oh, thank fuck.
This is really dangerous.
Yeah, go on.
This is basic personal safety stuff.
- He looks weird.
- He looks fine.
I'm Maggie, by the way.
Maggie Donovan.
You say your name, now.
It's Leon.
- Where do you want me to take you?
- Take me?
I-- I, um
I need to go to the
You know, the-- the, "Choo-choo!"
Uh
Thomas the Tank Engine's house.
- Train station?
- Train station!
That is the one. Sorry!
My brain has been wrecked, lately.
Just totally loco.
I think it was
a happy accident, really.
I was just using it,
cos I had some lying around.
I should explain, I'd injected
the guinea pigs with that piss.
- Tell him to shut up.
- Shut up!
Shut up! I love this song.
The guinea pigs loved the lithium,
so I just thought, "OK,
time to try it on humans."
That's psychiatry, baby!
No-one would hear you scream here, huh?
The most impressive thing
about my discovery,
is that it's impossible for
a bipolar patient to become suicidal,
as long as their lithium levels
stay within the correct range.
Well, that's bullshit.
- She'll be here in a minute.
- We need to do the scan
- and the first pill.
- Get off my dick, Kaz.
Noted.
- We could do it tomorrow.
- No, I need this done today.
It's just that
we have to close early today,
due to repeated staff death threats.
Fine, fine.
No bestie for Eddie.
- Well, we're all besties here--
- No!
- Stop the car!
- What are you doing?
- No!
- I will not go quick!
You'll have to bleach my blood
off your skin.
- I'll bite anything that dangles!
- Don't hurt me!
- No, you don't hurt me!
- What?
Stop the car!
Please, I have a family.
I've got ferrets!
What're you talking about?
You're the creepy one.
You were talking to yourself!
What did I do that was creepy?
I mean, you look creepy!
Oh, well, explain this fucking
murder lane we're on, then.
This is the way to the station.
I just wanted to do a good deed.
My mum died last month,
and I've been feeling a bit
disconnected from the world,
and I thought
you were one of those runaway teens
you see on the news.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry. I am so sorry,
but I really need to go.
Sorry, it-- it was just straight ahead?
Yeah, it's straight down,
on the right.
Cheers.
Oh, my God, Eddie.
Excuse me, um,
is there an abortion
shop around here?
Hi, uh
Hello, I'm here.
I'm-- I'm here for Eddie Rushden.
I'm late, I think.
Um, I think I'm late.
Hey, girlie.
You here to exercise your rights?
No, uh Eddie Rushden?
Um, she's booked in for, um
One of those Like, a w-- a womb sweep.
Is she still here?
Eddie-- Eddie was in yesterday.
No. Um, no, it might be down
under Theodora.
Uh, yeah. See, her appointment
was Tuesday at 11:00.
- That's yesterday.
- No, that's-- that's not, um
If you have any issues,
just give us a call.
- Can't believe she didn't show up.
- I know.
Who the fuck flakes out
on their best friend's abortion?
Look up ♪
Lean back ♪
Be strong ♪
You didn't think you'd live this long ♪
Be as one ♪
Hold on ♪
Steady stand ♪
For as long as you think you can ♪
We literally just discussed this.
Maggie
Are you OK?
Yeah.
I just have to go to the--
Sorry, I keep having
this weird thing lately, um
Not all the time,
but where I can't find the
I can't think of the
- Word?
- Yeah.
You're on lithium, aren't you?
Oh, yeah. And proud.
- Have you had your levels done recently?
- Um
If there's something wrong
with your levels,
if they're too high or too low,
that can cause problems.
But I've been taking my medication.
I've been taking the right amount.
No, love, it wouldn't be your fault.
Why don't you come back in?
I can take you down to urgent care.
No, no, um
I'm OK. Sorry, but I'm fine.
As much as I would love
to spend my Monday evening
in a hospital waiting room, I would,
but I have to get back.
It's Tuesday!
So, Murder Wives is not on
any of the streamers,
but I found a pirate link,
because I'm a bad boy.
Thank you.
For everything, the last two days.
Yeah, well, I love you, Eddie.
OK.
I think you need those
more than me, fanny.
I know you're feeling better
if you're cracking out
the old school misogyny.
She's just ignoring me.
She's read my messages,
why hasn't she replied?
You need to stop worrying about Maggie,
because if we're real,
she's not worried about you.
Ouch.
Yeah, sorry.
No. No, you're right.
Ooh, that's the pinball guy.
- I'll go.
- It's fine.
The codeine is codeine-ing.
I can't wait to mix it with wine
on the flight.
What do you want?
I'm here for my pinball machine.
Klent said you were going away,
I thought you could use
some extra spending money.
I can look after it for you,
for when you come back.
If you come back.
Mm. You can keep it in your bunker.
Eddie!
Eddie!
Eddie, it's me, please!
Eddie, are you-- I'm--
I'm-- I'm the worst.
I'm the worst.
Please, just let me in. Please.
Please! Please!
Please! Please! Please!
Look, I know
- I know, just--
- She's gone, Maggie.
- What?
- She's left.
No, c--
- She wouldn't leave without--
- Well, she has.
She doesn't need your permission.
- I gotta go back inside.
- No, Will, there's--
I think there's something
wrong with my brain.
Then get some help, Maggie.
Look up ♪
Lean back ♪
Be strong ♪
You didn't think you'd live this long ♪
Be as one ♪
Hold on ♪
Steady stand ♪
For as long as you think you can ♪
Eddie!
I'll take care ♪
I'll read again ♪
I'll sing again ♪
I will ♪