Film Club (2025) s01e06 Episode Script

This programme
contains strong language.
Wait. Hi. Um, sorry, you've
What? May I?
WHISPERS: You've got the tag
still on.
No. No!
Oh!
Oh, my God, tell me it's not true.
Were you going to return that? No.
I just Will you stay with me
for a sec while I process the fact
I've been mixing
with a tag hanging out?
Hey, hey, happens to the best of us.
Oh.
Er, earlier, a lady without shoes
actually squirted lime juice in my
eye and I'm in
I'm in quite a bit of pain
Yeah. ..actually. Is it?
Is it bloodshot?
Not in the slightest, actually.
Good. It did happen, by the way.
It wasn't just a ruse to get
you to look at my eye. Hmm.
Right, processing over.
I'm going to the cinema.
Yep. Oh, really? What's?
What's on at the cinema?
Brief Encounter. Oh, no.
No? No, no malaise.
I can't do malaise.
SHE LAUGHS
And I hate sad endings.
What?!
No, I love sad endings!
Yeah, unconsummated love, restrained
pain - in black and white.
Yes, please! Oh, sorry.
One large order of
unconsummated love, please.
Comin' right up. Thank you.
You know, I think I'm all mixed out.
Freshers' week's a lot.
You can just leave, you know?
Can I? One can.
One can. But I can't.
OK, I'm going to give you
permission.
No talking at me
through the film, though.
I'm very strongly against that.
God no.
Wait, can you even watch
a film with lime eye?
Wha What's that?
You've got lime eye, right?
Right, is that a thing? Yeah.
Am I going to die?
Mm-hm.
I promise you that is
going to happen.
That is absolutely going to happen.
You are going to die, yeah.
But at least you had a life
with all that eye.
Yeah, but, seriously, I need you to
tell me I'm not going to die.
Oh. Oh, no, you're not going to die.
Ever? Ever.
Forever ever.
Forever ever.
I don't know your name.
Hi.
Just thought I should drop in.
Check you're all right on D-Day.
You know I can't stay long.
I know. Didn't ask you to.
I know, I know. I just feel like
I have to warn you, Evelyn.
Consider me warned, Kamran.
What man's voice is that?
It It's Kam!
Oh, hello, Kam, darling.
# Fat Sam's Grand Slam speakeasy! #
SHE SNORTS
Oh, I could cry!
You were incredible. Thanks, Suz.
Mum, I made you some toast. Hmm.
Why don't you bung in some of them
little potato people
from the freezer? OK.
A big old night, last night.
Hello. Des, have you got any of
those fizzy vitamin things?
Mum's in a bad way.
Next to the face wipes.
Hey, wonderful to see your name
in lights, by the way.
What?
Fucking hell, Evie.
Hmm. "See ya"? Mm-hm.
Hmm. Eight years of
friendship ends in "see ya".
Yep. He didn't want a dramatic
goodbye, which is classic.
Apparently, he wrote down his new
address and put it in an envelope.
So maybe that was some
kind of attempt Ahh!
Evie
..it wasn't his address.
It's all coming back to me.
I was wearing Josh's coat,
by accident.
I found it in the pocket,
I thought it was for me,
so II opened it.
Sorry, so there's a letter in Josh's
pocket with Evie's name on it
and you think it's for you?
Well, I'd had a lot to drink.
She did, to be fair.
Yes - thank you, Evie.
I'm not some kind of bloody lush.
You lot are allowed to
get on it like a car bonnet.
When does Mumma get her release?
Mum, where is it?
Where is it?
Yes, that's a good question.
So I-I I think I put it
somewhere safe.
Especially now I know that we're
living with a thief.
You think he stole it?
Well, how the fuck do you think
it got in his pocket, Evie?
Sorry I'mI'm catching up. Josh's
mum didn't know he had a girlfriend?
Nope! And she's got two dishwashers.
And he stole a letter from Noa? Yes.
Bloody master puppeteer had us
wrapped round his bloody finger.
Quite Talented Mr Ripley of him,
actually. The letter?
The letter, the letter,
the letter, the letter
What did it say?
W It said
Well, why don't I try and remember
the feeling?
Cos sometimes you
remember the feeling
when you're a bit fuzzy, don't you?
So I felt
I felt
I felt
..sad.
Sad? Yeah, I think.
But that might be because I found
out that Josh is a liar
and a stealer.
OK, let's look for it.
Yes! Yes, yes! Hmm.
But Kam can't stay. Oh.
And that's fine, Kamran.
I just don't want this to be the
moment I look back upon and regret
when I'm sat on my rocking chair.
Kicking the can
so far down the road, what if
What if this is the end of the road?
Darling, I have to say,
I'm shocked you're confiding in me.
We were really never that close.
Samantha, you're the only person I
know that would drink at this hour.
Do you know what?
That is beautiful.
May I ask why in holy heaven
you picked this bar?
It's where he first met the girl.
Oh. Was I there?
That's it, I've decided.
I'm going to go. Get an earlier
train. I need to just
..leave.
SHE SIGHS
What?
I just feel like
..I might've done
loads of things wrong.
Oh, my God, Mum.
You just had a bit too much
prosecco.
You're being way too
hard on yourself.
I don't just mean last night.
You're the best mum in the world.
I'm not perfect, though, Evie.
No, you're not perfect,
but you're the best.
JOSH FROM DISTANCE: Pooch!
Go on.
Pooch!
Go on.
Pooch!
Oh, she told you, didn't she?
Yes, obviously. Fuck's sake.
Where did they think you
were staying?
Stevo's.
And your nana? Fine.
Jesus, that is
a very long, elaborate lie.
Why would you do that?
That's just how much I love you.
What does that mean?
The love -
drives you mad.
And
Yeah, I have done some mad shit.
I get that.
But I just want to be honest
with you, now.
I did take something
and hide it from you.
I was going to chuck it,
but I left my jacket in the
We know.
OK.
I didn't read it.
I promise.
I just didn't want him
stealing you away from me.
Agh
Look, is there anything
I can do to make it up to you?
OK, Josh is going to help us look.
He can access Mum's psychology,
which is It's so fucked,
but I need to know where it is.
Suzo.
Suzanne.
OK, so
Suzanne was pissed.
Not pissed. So she will have been
craving a snack.
Not pissed. Mm-hm.
But she wouldn't have wanted to make
a mess prepping anything,
so would have gone for ease.
Some biccies, perhaps?
No. Cos the seccy at
the pub's far from dry,
so she won't have wanted sweet.
Strictly savoury.
But my guess is that you partook
in some chunky chips at the pub.
Yeah, so she wouldn't have gone
for the guilty drawer.
It would have been nuts
and crackers.
And, as you've approached,
envelope was under the arm?
Yeah. She's reached in, not
realising that it's dropped down.
Yep, there it is.
So you didn't actually kiss?
No.
So nothing happened?
It did. Not really.
I should've told you.
Yeah, but you are telling me now.
Josh, why would you want to be
with someone
who has doubts about you?
You clearly have doubts about me,
too.
But isn't the love
bigger than the doubts?
Was it ever?
There were so many times,
I promise.
We were really close.
"Were?"
I'm sorry, Josh.
I don't blame you.
I do blame him a bit.
And me.
And your dad.
My dad? Well, we're just men.
I've just got this
like, such a strong image
..in my head. Um
Can I Can I just share it
with you? Do you mind? Go on.
It's me
..in our kitchen
..and I'm making us lasagne
..and I've got one kid
on my shoulder
and I've got another
kid on my back.
And you walk down the stairs,
and I say, "Boys,
"doesn't Mummy look beautiful?"
And they say, "Yeah, Mummy, you do."
And then I say,
"Right, boys, it's table time."
And the oldest one,
he jumps off and he says,
"Don't worry, Mamma,
you just sit down,
"I'll get you a knife and fork."
And then I say What do I say?
What do you mean?
What do I say?
Well, you um
Er
Thank you.
Yeah.
I don't know if I should open this.
It's not my address.
I know that.
It's too late.
Open it.
Is this going to make me
lose the plot?
Maybe.
Just a little bit.
Annoying.
Noa.
I'm calling you.
PHONE BUZZES
What? I'm calling you.
Are you going to pick up?
I thought you didn't want a big
dramatic goodbye.
You know what I'm like. Yeah, I do.
Will you make your bloody
mind up, please?
ON PHONE: My legs won't work.
Jelly. No bones.
What do I do?
I've remembered what it said. Eh?
I need to help him,
but I can't go like this.
Maybe I could have a few
shots of something?
Yeah, OK.
Or I could write him something
and you could deliver it for me?
No, I think it's probably you
he wants to see, babe.
Iz, could you get some weed? Evie!
I don't know where to get weed.
I do. What?
No, I'm I don't.
OK, I'm just going to wait.
I'm just going to wait a sec
until I calm down. You know?
Pause action until serenity enters.
Yeah, but what time's his train
leaving?
Just over an hour. I don't think
serenity's going to enter in time.
Maybe you're not supposed to
be like this, babe.
Maybe you are supposed to
be like this
Yeah, cos, like,
what actually happened?
Eves, I do have to say all that
happened was you got sad,
acted weird and then locked yourself
in the house for six months.
Like, maybe it's the feelings
that are scary, not the world.
Yeah, that's it!
It's just your personality, babe.
But you've done a lot
with thatpersonality -
like, galaxies and magic
and rainbows.
You know, all while you were
You know. So what's a little
stopping the love of your life
getting on a train to Bristol?
What if I lose the plot?
Hey.
All feelings are for feeling.
Since when?
Hang on a minute.
I've got an idea!
What if you don't go as yourself,
babes?
What the fuck?
I'm Babby Streisand.
# Never gonna fall for
Modern love
# Walks beside me
Modern love
# Walks on by
Modern love
# Gets me to the church on time
# Church on time
# Terrifies me
Church on time
# Makes me party
Church on time
# Puts my trust in God and man. #
ENGINE FALTERS
Oh, well, that's not good.
ENGINE FALTERS AND STOPS
RADIO STARTS AND STOPS
Oh.
ENGINE AND RADIO
START THEN STOP
Oh, baby.
ENGINE FALTERS
Eves. Eves!
You owe me.
HE SIGHS
I do.
Go and get our boy!
# Never gonna fall for
Modern love
# Walks beside me
Modern love
# Walks on by
Modern love
# Gets me to the church on time
# Church on time
Terrifies me
# Church on time
Makes me party
# Church on time
Puts my trust in God and man. #
Completely overwhelmed.
What are you doing here?
You wanted me to come.
Right.
Please, sit.
Formal.
It's over with Josh.
Oh.
I got your address.
And
..do you approve of my address?
I fucking love your address.
Really? Entirely.
Oh, my heart is, um
..exploding.
What happens now?
Excuse me, um, you can't sit in here
unless you're paying customers,
um, so I'm going to have to ask you
to be paying customers.
OK. Two cups of tea, then, please.
Yeah. What kind of tea
would you like? We've got, um,
lemon and ginger, chamomile
Noa? Um
Breakfast, please.
..peppermint, peppermint
and liquorice, we've got lapsang.
Breakfast, please. Breakfast.
So what's going on with you two,
then? Just the tea, please.
Well, I'm not a waiter,
so I'm afraid you're going to have
to come over here and pay.
Shall we run away?
Where would we go?
Hydra. What? Why Hydra?
I don't know. I think artists
used to go there.
Yeah, but we're not artists.
You are.
QUIETLY: You are.
Wait, they don't have cars there.
We can't drive.
Yeah, I know, but I want to learn.
That's what I should do!
I should learn how to drive.
Learn how to drive in Bristol.
They have the best roads in the UK.
Is that true?
I don't know. I'm just trying to get
you to come with me.
Look, we'll buy a house
with really high ceilings.
With what money? And we'll fill up
the shelves, all the way to the top.
With all the novels that I'm
apparently going to write?
With all the novels you will write.
And we'll have dinners, with wine.
We'll make our five-year plan.
Wine makes you ill.
And I don't think I'm ready
for a five-year plan.
I don't even have a one-day plan.
Because in order to have a plan,
you have to
..know what you want.
OK, OK, let'slet's scratch that.
The point is you can be
whoever you want to be
and I'll be whoever
you need me to be.
Noa.
Thousands of people we could be,
so many worlds we can live in.
We have to live in this one.
The real one.
In this one, you go.
I'm staying.
You can't.
You can't. Look Evie,
I have been unknowable.
Let me try and be knowable.
I've always known you.
We never really had to meet, did we?
If you stay we'll just
We'll keep going deeper and deeper,
until our brains fucking explode.
You'll be sat there with my brains
all over your face, thinking,
"I didn't do any of the things
I wanted to achieve in my life."
It's not the right time, is it?
Please.
You have to get on that train, Noa.
We have to move this forwards.
Please.
I'll never get better if you stay.
I need to do this on my own.
OK.
OK.
Oh, what a shit ending!
Yeah.
We can whack a great
soundtrack on it.
Be fine.
MUSIC: Piano Concerto No 2
by Rachmaninoff
Oh, baby, we were coming to get you.
Ziggy's dad's gone to
get his jump leads.
Knight in shining armour. Well fit.
So, where's our prince?
Are you two the Love Story?
We're the Love Story.
Eves! Baby!
Oh, well, tell me you snogged him.
Oh. Fucking hell!
I saw Romeo Montague with
a face like a slapped arse, earlier.
You broke up? Yeah.
So you really are a spinster, now.
You might even qualify
as a thornback, you know.
Genius.
Your mate didn't stay? No.
Oh, tough luck, House Arrest.
No job, no mates. Callum!
Sorry.
Oi. Oi yourself!
Here.
See ya later, Havisham.
Now, I don't have to go out
if you want some company.
Steph says she's more than happy
to come and sit with the girls.
No, you two go. Have fun.
What duet are you going to doing?
Guilty.
I don't know how Steph's going to
do Barry Gibbs, but we'll see.
I just hate how early these
places close.
It's like I just want to carry on!
I want to carry on!
Yeah. What are you going to do?
I don't know. Oh.
It's good.
It's good, though.
CALLUM'S VOICE: OK, Havers.
Cannot believe you got into my head,
but it kind of works, so maybe
you're not full fruit loops.
I've been thinking about
why you piss me off
and I realise maybe it's cos
we're similar, me and you.
You lock the door from it all
and I pedal away.
You can't go out
and I can't stay in.
I thought that was
the sum total of us.
But seeing you cycle off on my bike,
I have to admit
I was pretty impressed.
You changed the game.
You made me reckon maybe one day
Mrs Merz will let me back in school
and maybe I'll kick the urinal
a bit, but not off the wall.
For someone so tapped,
you're pretty determined, you know.
And maybe if you keep trying to
leave the gaff,
I'll keep trying
not to be a hoodlum.
I read this book till it got boring,
and this quote made me think of you.
"I must be taken
as I have been made.
CALLUM AND EVIE: "The success is
not mine, the failure's not mine.
"But the two together make me."
CALLUM: Tell anyone about this
and I'll deck ya.
From Callum.
Happy New Year, Callum.
Happy New Year, Evie.
FIREWORKS EXPLODE
LAUGHTER
I can't believe
she can go places now,
but we're still
in the fucking garage.
It's the Carry On, Isobel,
it's not the garage.
It's the garage, Suz.
Where is madam with the champers?
Right, come on, it's game time.
One two, one, two.
Right, let's play Under The Rug,
orshot.
Under The Rug? Yeah, tell the truth.
You've got to tell the truth.
Mum, you start. Mm-mm.
Oh, come on, Suz, don't be boring.
Fine. OK, I'd rather
be in the good room.
What about Evie's lasagne?
It's delicious. Mum, the truth!
OK, fine, it's vile!
But nobody tell her. And
I really fancy Ziggy's dad!
Agh! Oh.
Mint!
Right, come on,
Izz-whizzy-woo, your turn.
Um I'm actually a bit loaded
from all the dogs.
Are you - you're loaded?
Oh. Yeah, loaded.
Steph, you're next.
And I want to ask you yours.
Right. Um, what was your job?
No. Boo. Oh, come on!
Sammy?
I am two weeks sober.
Oh, yay! Aw!
Sam? Oh, it's New Year's Eve,
darling. It doesn't count!
Baby girl! Hi.
PARTY HOOTER
Hey, does anyone want some
more lasagne? Oh, me, please!
What so funny?
Nothing. We're just
We're just playing Under The Rug.
Oh, OK.
SAMANTHA: Mm-mm-mm!
I have decided, even though I might
be terrified every day
for the rest of my life,
I'm not going to let it stop me
from making stuff happen.
Aw!
Fair fucks, girlies.
Fair fucks.
PHONE RINGS
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Ah, it's nearly midnight.
Everyone outside.
Ziggy's dad's doing fireworks.
I just need to set the lyrics up
for the Auld Lang Syne sing-song.
Don't think we need the lyrics for
the Auld Lang Syne sing-song, babe.
Mum, it's my personality.
Yeah. It's your personality.
Right, see you outside
when you're ready.
Come on! Mum, let's go. Right, OK.
We're going to miss the fireworks.
Watch that step!
LAUGHTER
CROWD OUTSIDE: Six, five,
four, three,
two, one! Happy New Year!
FIREWORKS EXPLODE
CHEERING
DOOR OPENS
I had to give it a better ending.
Go on, break it.
FIREWORK EXPLOSIONS CONTINUE