Frauds (2025) s01e06 Episode Script

Bert's in a volatile place.
MAN GRUNTS
My husband is lying in there
because of them.
They're looking for two women
in connection with the watches.
We need to make this happen.
Police are looking for you.
Are you mad?
Prak's making moves
on my patch in Bradford
while I've been banged up.
He's gonna lose his marbles when he
finds out what's happened to Kyan.
Yeah, I've heard you've got Bilal
forging a Dali painting for you.
I reckon I know
why you're doing that.
GUNSHO
HE MOANS,
SHE LAUGHS
You need a baby-sitter for Bert.
That's not what's required.
That's always what's required.
You just need to trust them.
They can't even trust each other.
You haven't got cancer, have you?
There are worse things
that I could have done.
Worse than pretending you're dying?
Wearing a wire for the police
like a nasty little grass.
'I didn't have a choice.'
They were coming for you,
and you were wild.
We were gonna end up dead.
So you put me inside?
You put yourself inside!
When this is done, we need to leave.
Trust nobody, kid.
DONKEY BRAYS
Watch out for her.
She ate her last mate.
Oh, it's Doctor Dolittle.
He talked through the animals.
Is Deegs alive?
Yeah. Well, he was
when I tied him to a chair.
Is he a problem?
Absolutely not.
Good.
Hey, look, we've got a job to do,
so are we gonna be able to do it?
Yeah.
Celine. Game face.
BERT SIGHS
Ball-ache of a drive here.
Well, go on, then.
Let's have a look.
Right, yeah.
IN SPANISH:
Well, ladies,
that is incredible.
You couldn't distinguish it
from the real thing.
The brushwork.
Gentle ageing.
It's completely in line with
not just how old the painting is,
but how well
the gallery's housed it.
Something you don't often see
in copies
..even the best.
In fact, it's so good,
you could have just given me this,
saved yourself the shag and hassle.
Wouldn't have known the difference.
But once you know, you know.
Do you know what I mean?
So, once you have the real painting
safely in your possession,
I'll ping you a location
and we can bring the money.
The money needs to be
in unmarked bills. It will be.
Thank you for
the egg-sucking lesson (!)
Well, good luck.
Not that you'll need it.
Thanks.
SAM SIGHS
Shall we?
Let's go do this.
KNOCKING
HANDLE RATTLES
KNOCKING
HE SIGHS
COUGHING
Hey.
I don't want you to go!
I'm not going to wait
on the sidelines any more.
I just need you to back me.
When have you ever been
on the sidelines?
You haven't had a good thing to say
about Bert. What if it's a set-up?
We've come to an understanding,
Bert and I.
I can't support this.
That's your decision.
But I'm going,
whether you support it or not.
Shh.
RINGING TONE
CAITLIN'S VOICEMAIL
MESSAGE PLAYS
Turn on your earpiece
and be careful, OK?
See you on the other side, kiddo.
Jackie's late.
RINGING TONE
I'm not sending
Caitlin in there blind.
Here.
For the next hour, can we be a team?
That's why we're here.
I bet you a euro you can't nick
a Dali out of there.
Bet you I can.
Where the hell is Jackie?
Just keep unloading.
'She'll be here.'
I'm approaching the building.
'Copy. When you're in the building,
let me know.'
Roger that.
JACKIE: 'Hola, putas.'
You're cutting it fine.
'Well, I am juggling a few things,
in case you hadn't noticed.'
Let's just keep it together
and get this done.
DOOR CLOSES
Where you going? You're the lookout.
I am paying my parking.
Don't want your lookout
getting towed, do you?
That'd be very shoddy, wouldn't it?
AMUSED SIGH
COMPUTER BEEPING
'Miss Take,
are you approaching the entrance?'
Yes, darling.
'Caitlin on her way in.'
THEY SPEAK SPANISH
THEY SPEAK SPANISH
Gracias.
Thank you.
'Blas said the weak spot is
the idiot guard at the loading bay.'
IN SPANISH:
Gracias.
That was a lovely story.
He seems like a weak link.
THEY SPEAK SPANISH
LIFT BEEPS,
SAM SIGHS
'Feeds are up and running.'
Shit.
'Jackie?'
Where is she?
GUARDS SPEAK SPANISH
OVER RADIO
Caitlin, are you OK?
WHISPERS: I can't talk.
DETECTOR WHINES
AND CHIRRUPS
'Where is she?'
SPANISH CONVERSATION
OVER RADIO
I'm in.
CHATTER IN SPANISH
JACKIE: 'Blas, get your eyes
on Miss Take, Room 203.'
BLAS: 'Contact made.
Heading to the Masturbator.'
MISS TAKE: My girls are in place.
JACKIE: 'Beautiful.
We'll go on the command, "Wanker." '
Why "Wanker"?
'Think about it.
What are we nicking?'
Subtle as an air-raid.
Well, aren't you a sight
for sore eyes?
Someone had to make sure
you didn't get into any trouble.
Currently around 20 people
in the room.
No queues reported at the door.
Maintaining steady footfall.
I've requested changeover.
Here's the police guard now.
THEY SPEAK SPANISH
OK, Miss Take is in place
and Blas is heading
to the security room.
We are running to time.
Caitlin's on floor 1.
She is heading to the lift.
WHISPERS: Shit. Museum staff.
'What do I do?'
'Stick to the plan. Follow them in.'
IN SPANISH:
LIFT BEEPS
'Everybody stand by.'
LIFT CREAKING
STAFF MEMBER: Permiso.
Gracias.
Two minutes, standing by.
You OK?
She's fine.
You said that without moving
your lips. I'm good.
BLAS: OK. Heading to security now.
'Copy that.
Caitlin, how's the baby?'
'Testing now.'
BABY CRYING
You make a lovely grandma.
You've got the saggy arse for it.
Oh, just shut up.
'Miss Take, are you ready to go?'
Ready.
It's a fixed lens.
Only captures the first two metres
outside the lift.
We're clear.
'All right, girls,
you are out of vision.'
BABY CRYING
'Caitlin's in place
and baby crying.'
IN SPANISH:
Blas.
'What's happening, Blas?
'What's happening? Blas!'
BLAS SPEAKS URGENTLY
IN SPANISH
Fuck! Blas has been taken
out of the security room.
He can't swap the feed.
Right.
Everyone, hold your positions.
What the hell's going on?
'Just wait for my command.'
Blas, whatever you need to do,
get back in that room.
'Hold positions.'
'Blas, what's happening?'
BEEP
'What did he say?'
THEY CHAT IN SPANISH
BABY CRYING CONTINUES
OK, feed swapped.
Everyone free to move on.
SIGHS
BLAS: 'We have a problem.
'The boss is changing the idiot in
the loading bay at three o'clock.'
That only leaves us
seven-and-a-half minutes!
CAITLIN:
'Can we go out through the front?'
BERT: 'No, stick to the plan.
Stay calm. We can do this.'
'All right, then, ladies.
Over to you.'
GUIDE: Here we have
the Claude Monet collection, and
Wanker!
Go.
CRYING CONTINUES
GUARD SIGHS
Oh, thank you.
I just need to feed him.
You can't do this in here.
Could you give me some privacy,
please?
MISS TAKE: Let's do it.
MUSIC PLAYS
CHATTER
'It's working.'
People are gathering. It's showtime.
'Gather round, art lovers!'
You have blood on your hands.
If you don't know the history
of the art that you're consuming,
these women's lives
are on these walls,
and yet all we know about
are the men who painted them.
This picture here, a famous artist
was paid handsomely for this,
and yet he used sex workers
as his models and paid them nothing.
Nothing!
Shame!
Whoo!
Shame!
HEAD OF SECURITY:
JACKIE: 'Blas is on his way down.'
We have an area for ladies to feed.
OK, fine. Show me this room.
OK, just follow me, please.
MISS TAKE:
..and the art was made possible!
These women are not nearly as famous
as the paintings they posed for.
'Caitlin's on the move
with the guard.
'Blas is about to get to work.'
MUSIC CONTINUES
Oh, she's having a lovely time.
'Girls, get in position.
This is gonna be tight.'
BLAS SPEAKS SPANISH
How much do you know about
the art that you're protecting?
'Six minutes, 33 seconds.'
This artist used factory workers
as his models.
His last sale was for over
one million euros.
Oh!
The muses were just given food
on the day.
HE TUTS
Still, pretty pictures, darling.
BLAS:
Follow me, darlings.
OK, the crowds are moving through.
HE SPEAKS SPANISH
'Blas, make sure
you've got everyone.
'We don't want any stragglers.'
Are you complicit?
Is there blood on your hands?
Blood on your hands!
CROWD CHATTER
Blood on your hands!
Blood on your hands!
Blood on your hands!
Many trans artists and muses
were used
in the paintings
in this gallery.
CHATTER
..on whose shoulders
their art was built!
JACKIE: 'Almost there.
'Last few heading out.'
Their blood, sweat, and tears!
What do we want?
Visibility!
When do we want it?
Now!
What do we want?
Visibility!
'Miss Take is past
the Guernica room.
'Everyone is away from
the Masturbator. Bert, Sam, go!'
PROTESTERS
CONTINUE CHANTING
Er I need to get back.
Can you show me?
It's just along there on the left.
Can you take me to it?
I'm sorry,
but I shouldn't leave my post.
CAITLIN:
'Security's coming back in.'
JACKIE: 'Caitlin, we need more time!
'Keep the guard out.'
What the fuck?
I'm going to report you!
All I've asked for is some help,
and you're not helping.
'Three minutes, six seconds
to change of security
'at the loading bay.'
What do we want?
Unity!
When do we want it?
Now!
'Blas, stand by.'
Follow me.
All clear. Go.
'In three, two, one.'
BEEPING
'Thirty seconds before alarm reset
completes.'
ELECTRONIC CHIRPS
What do we want?
Visibility!
When do we want it?
Now!
'Twenty seconds.'
Let not these men take
our art from us!
'Ten seconds.'
CASTANETS CLACK
SAM: 'Swap complete.'
'Alarms reset.
Get the disruptors out.'
Let's go.
Make some noise!
CHEERING
'Two minutes, 50 seconds.'
CAITLIN:
'The other guard is coming. Hurry!'
Shit. Come on!
Security guard's with the buggy.
No, don't touch that. Leave it.
'Caitlin has the buggy.'
Ah!
'Two minutes, girls.'
CHEERING
EXHALES
CAITLIN: 'Back on the ground floor.
I'm making my way to the exit.'
SHE MUTTERS: Oh, this guy.
The main lift wasn't working.
There was an alarm.
I'm going to have
to inspect your pushchair.
What is your problem, man?
I'm sorry, are you the police?
You can't just search my things.
Never mind the security change.
Police are on the door.
BLAS:
'I didn't know anything about it.'
'Caitlin, use the main exit,
get to the van.'
'Someone official
saw what Miss Take is doing,
'heard the alarms,
'and sent them to check
everyone going in and going out,
'even the loading bay.'
Senorita?
Si?
Blas, get down here now.
Gracias.
Argh!
Know what you're up to!
HANDLE RATTLES
Fucking know what you're up to!
Fucking Deegs is here!
Fuck! Fuck!
Stupid fucking cow!
Hey!
POLICE: Hey, hey, hey.
She's nicked a Dali painting!
She's nicked a Dali from in there,
I'm telling you!
POLICEMAN: Calm down.
That's what you're doing here,
innit?
I've worked it out, haven't I?
I've got you.
Listen to me, yeah?
She kidnapped me.
She left me for dead.
She shot me in the ear.
You see that?
I'm smart, she knew I'd work it out,
and I did.
Jackie, stay in the van.
What is your name, please, sir?
Carl.
Carl Deegan, my amigo.
I'm here to help you.
What are you checking me for?
What you checking me?
You need to check
Hey, hey.
You need to check those two!
They've robbed a Dali.
Do you know that lad Dali?
It's a picture
of some bloke's knackers
swinging in a bird's face,
I'm telling you.
I'm hundred million percent,
it's in that van! Get away!
GUARD ON RADIO:
Give me the good news.
Nothing's been stolen.
I just checked.
You need to check again.
Have another look.
You need to look in that van!
You need to look in the van!
Carl Deegan,
you breached your bail conditions.
Bollocks I breached my bail.
What you talking about?
The man you shot has died.
Kyan? He died?
Right now,
I am arresting you on suspicion
of the murder of Kyan Saleem.
POLICE SPEAK SPANISH
You've got this all wrong!
Check the van! Fucking kidding me!
What do you mean, he's dead?
He can't be.
BERT SIGHS
OK.
SIGHS
I can't believe he showed up.
Well, he's wishing he hadn't.
I can't believe we actually did it.
You were fucking amazing in there.
CAITLIN CHUCKLES
Thank you.
RINGING TONE
CELINE: 'Tell me it's done.'
It's done.
'Good. I'll send you the ping.'
Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. Back up.
Search them.
Oh, God.
Er, he's with us.
Can't be too careful.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well done.
So, where's the money?
Keep your bra on.
It's all there in unmarked bills,
divided up as we agreed.
You did what you said you'd do
when you said you'd do it.
I'm impressed.
I had my doubts about you two,
but I take it back.
Yeah.
It's good doing business with you.
Keep your noses clean.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes! Ah!
JACKIE CHEERS
Show me the money!
Oof!
Hee-hee!
Yes! Mwah!
THEY LAUGH
Roberta, thank you.
BERT LAUGHS
Thank you, baby.
So, where to now?
Mateo's chartered the yacht,
so wherever the wind takes us.
Yeah? How's your sea legs?
Fabulous, darling.
Take care.
Right.
So that's me, putas.
JACKIE LAUGHS
Where you heading, Jackie?
What, like I'm telling you,
so you can tip up
like a couple of bad pennies?
Uh-uh. See you.
Whoo!
Told you I was a safe bet.
Wouldn't say safe.
Right, then, back to yours,
get the IDs, and
And then we never have to see
each other again.
Where are you going?
For a piss. Wanna watch?
Keys!
FRUSTRATED SIGH
OK, when we get back,
we take all of the money
and we leave,
start a new life together.
Without Bert?
If she has the financial means
to find us,
we will never be free of her.
The job worked out,
so she's high on it.
But she won't stop until
we all end up in prison, or dead.
It's just how she operates.
CAITLIN SIGHS
Are you with me?
SAM SIGHS
RINGING TONE
HE GRUNTS SOFTLY
Jackie.
Socks and undies
and 20 grand under your bed, kid.
That'll get you to Vegas.
Sss
Twe
DOOR OPENS
DOOR CLOSES
What?
IN SPANISH:
Stay here. I'll get the IDs.
The police are on their way.
You called them?
Listen to me. You need to hear this.
She gave you away.
She had no qualms
about giving you up,
no matter what she tells you.
She says that you're a liar
and that you can't be trusted.
Yeah?
Did she tell you that she's
the reason why I ended up inside?
She wore a wire, Caitlin.
She put me in prison for years.
She's manipulated you,
and she's lied to you ever since
the day that she first met you.
Is that the kind of life you want,
huh?
Because you will never know
where you are with her.
How do I know where I stand
with you?
I looked out for you.
It was me that saw your potential.
You can have half
of all of the money,
but you have to come with me now.
I'm gonna get out of the car.
And when I say so, you go too.
What the fuck?
GUN COCKS
Get out of the car, Bert,
and leave your money.
What do you think you're doing,
Caitlin?
I'm not fucking around, Bert.
Drop the bag.
One funny move
and I'll blow your brains out.
What you doing?
Get the fuck inside now!
What the hell happened?
In the lock-up, both of you.
Now! No stupid moves.
Hey.
GUNSHO
Fuck!
Now, Bert. Fuck!
Now!
I mean it.
Caitlin!
I'm taking the money.
The money doesn't matter.
You can have mine.
The money always matters.
I mean, between me and you.
You are not my mother.
The birthmark's not real.
What?
I heard that Bert was looking
for her friend's daughter in prison.
How? How do you think?
I have my contacts.
CHUCKLES
You stupid little girl.
Funny, is it, Bert?
Everything is just a game to you.
And what about me?
Come on, now, Sam, you two
you deserve each other.
You're both pathetic.
Get inside now.
Caitlin! My name isn't Caitlin,
you fucking idiot!
Who the fuck are you?
How long till the police get here,
Bert? I think I hear them.
See you later, putas.
You little shit!
You called the police?
Yeah.
Fuck whatever your name is,
I'm gonna hunt you down
and fuck you over so badly.
I knew you'd screw me over.
This is what you do.
We need to get out of here.
How could you not see?
You brought that into our lives!
If you weren't so hell-bent
on revenge, we wouldn't be here.
Yeah? And if you hadn't been
so bowled over by her,
you might have noticed that
that wasn't your fucking daughter!
Oh, shit.
What did you say to the police?
Did you tell them about the job?
No, I didn't No!
No, I-I told them
that you owned the gun
that Deeg shot his mate with
and that you planted it on him.
You linked me to a murder?!
Yeah.
What the fuck, Bert?
Yeah, well, that backfired,
didn't it? Yeah, it fucking did!
I fucking hate you.
Fucking get in the car.
Jesus.
Hold on, you dick.
ENGINE STARTS
That was fucking close.
SIREN WAILS
Fuck. Seriously?
It's stopped.
OFFICER ON RADIO:
SIREN WAILS
Left here.
We need to get off the main road.
Shit, there's more of them.
TYRE POPS,
AIR HISSES
Fuck, you've got to be kidding me!
Oh, shit!
The fucking tyre!
THEY PAN
POLICE SHOU
IN SPANISH
POLICE RADIO CHATTER
Where now?
Shit.
PANTING
We're screwed.
What now?
OK. Give me a leg up.
Ah! Argh!
Ugh!
Fuck.
Fuck!
Ah, fuck.
Bert?
Bert!
GATE LOCK BEEPS
GATE LOCK BUZZES
GATE LOCK BEEPS
CHUCKLES
'Calculando top ruta Florencia.'
THEY LAUGH
SAM GRUNTS,
WINCES
LABOURED BREATHING
BERT SIGHS
Ah, fuck!
ENGINE RUMBLES
Yo! Someone's coming!
CHUCKLES
Come on, you know the drill.
Dumb Brits, yeah?
Come on.
Fuck!
Hey. Thank goodness.
Hey.
MAN:
Not really.
Our car's come off the road.
See? It's over there.
We need a push.
Let me show you.
MAN SHOUTS
IN SPANISH
Get his fucking keys. Get his keys!
ON STEREO: 'Happy Together'
by The Turtles
Where to?
To get our fucking money back.
Nobody but you.
Nobody but you
and you for me