Gnomes (2026) s01e06 Episode Script

1
As we've all seen, the Queen can be freed
if her hatchet is touched
during the winter solstice.
But the curse goes both ways. You're turning
- from flesh
- Into stone!
- Devon!
- Go, go, go, go!
Go, just jump!
Josie, you go to the factory,
get Tobias to start his kiln up.
Ellie and I are gonna find the hatchet.
We take it to you, we put it in,
and we put an end to all this, once and for all.
OK. Let's pack this sheet up and go save Lucky.
- Are you crazy?
- We can't make it
all the way to the Gnome Factory
without getting our heads eaten off!
It is not that far, OK?
And all the gnomes are gone, right, Rosie?
- I don't see anything.
- Exactly.
OK, but what about that other THING? Her?
- Yeah. Dyl's right.
- Thank you!
No, Jenny, it's way too dangerous.
Without a way of shooting all this stuff,
- it's useless, come on.
- Oi, you lot! Follow me.
Josie?!
I don't like this.
I mean, where is Josie?
It's gonna take years to recover from this.
Nompton will be alright, Arnold.
They'll have you.
Yeah.
Jesus!
You really are turning into stone.
Actually, I've been going to the gym.
Oh! Nompton doesn't have a gym.
Jesus!
You know what?
I reckon I can break in.
Wait, wait, wait! Without a warrant?
Eloise McKay!
Right this way, my young Padawans.
There she is.
Big Red.
I used to drive her back when I was a firey.
1956 front-mounted pumper.
900 litres of water and 65,000psi.
Basically, means she sprays
a shit-tonne of water.
Oh, so we put the weed killer in
Bingo!
And I save Nompton!
- What?
- What did you say?
I mean, "we" Sorry, "we",
that's what I meant to say.
- Yeah, that's better.
- Thank you.
Alright, gang! Lock and load.
Josie?
Josie?
Josie?!
Shit!
Police brutality!
Should've used your safe word!
Coming!
Was that a fucking shotgun?!
- It's Tobias's.
- But he doesn't have a permit!
That's what you're worried about?
Sorry, no Glad you're OK.
- Oh, God, you took your time!
- Sorry.
What happened?
He thought we were coming for HIS gnomes.
He didn't give me time to explain.
And the kiln?
Oh, goddammit!
Suck my bollocks, ya gobshites!
Do we have time to heat it up again?
Maybe it
What's that?
Help! Help! They're killing me babies!
Shut up!
Here.
Just be careful!
Ready?
Agh! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
You guys would not believe
the night I have just had!
Oh! Ah!
Ribs, Josie, broken ribs
Christ, I almost just shot you.
Hey, where'd you get a shotgun?
Oh, it's Tobias's.
But he doesn't have a permit!
Thank you!
Careful!
That stuff could burn your hand off!
So, how long since you've
actually driven this thing?
Well, it's a long time,
but, boy, did I love it.
So, why'd you stop?
Well, when you're a fireman,
you only get to help people when,
you know, things are on fire.
But when you're a mayor,
you get to help people all the time.
Well, that was the idea anyway.
I believe you.
What?
I believe you're trying to help people.
- Zayn?
- You guys alright?
What's up?
Shit.
Lachie?
What's up?
Poo
- What do we do?
- Don't move.
Zayn,
it's loaded with weedkiller.
- It's alright, buddy.
- Just
- Scared.
- stay still.
That stuff burns.
Move!
Huh?
Oh, agh!
Stumpy!
Wait! Stop!
He's a friend!
Oh, what's happening? I can't see shit!
I came to and everyone had gone.
- If we'd known
- So sorry.
I mean, we never would have left you.
I know. It's OK.
How did you find us?
I followed the gnomes, actually.
Led me right to you.
What do you mean?
Arnold, every gnome in Nompton is coming here.
Here?
It's the hatchet.
- We have to destroy it.
- But we have to wait
for this thing to heat up first.
You're looking at 30 minutes at least.
Yeah, I don't think you've got that long.
- What do we do, Arnold?
- Don't ask me.
Dev's the caretaker officer.
Susan never said.
She picked you.
Honestly
I think she was right.
Sorry.
Out of curiosity, who did Harvey pick?
- He picked Devon.
- Right.
Well, in that case
I think they were both right.
Ugh!
Out of curiosity,
who did you pick?
Oh
We fortify the factory, then.
Doors, windows. We can hold
them off for 30 minutes.
- They'll get in.
- Then we fight.
Stagger our defences.
Two outside, two in here.
All we need
is a system.
You know, I read the caretaker
manual, cover-to-cover,
- just in case.
- Why doesn't that surprise me?
I'm legally entitled to request
a full-time deputy
to stay in Nompton with me.
Oh, yeah?
Do you think
Arnold would say yes?
- Ow!
- We need a hammer over here!
Yeah, give me a sec! I've just
gotta find more nails!
Can you hold that for me?
Um
Oh, my God, Arnold
Well, that's upsetting.
So, I found nails, and this.
Looks like someone was a collector.
- With zero permits!
- Shh!
Can you hear that?
Arnold
what are they waiting for?
It's her.
We're gonna need bigger handcuffs.
Gnorman!
Oh, Gnorman!
I knew this day would come!
Look at you, my big, beautiful boy.
Papa's here!
Let me love you.
Care for you.
And together, we'll
Bluttrinker!
Bluttrinker!
Angriff!
I can't see!
'Cause you're covering your eyes.
Just let go.
Is that a good gasp or a bad gasp?
Are you still there?
Yeah, yeah.
- You're fine, you're fine.
- Oh.
You're good. You're good.
Wait, guys, what are we gonna do with him?
Is he just gonna stand watch all night?
Rosie?
He did save our lives.
I say we give him a chance.
Oi, Stumpy!
Come here.
You're one of us now. Don't make me look bad.
Hold on, what's the plan?
We can't use the truck
and Lachlan can't drive.
I wouldn't be so sure.
I know this town like the back of my hand.
Do you trust me? I can drive these roads
with my eyes closed.
Oh, Jesus.
There's just too many.
I'll go ahead.
You guys hold the door!
Trust me.
You want it?
Your little gnomey butts,
come get it.
Yeah!
On your right!
Arnold, Ellie, get that thing out of here.
- We'll hold them back.
- Dev
Trust me.
You all good, Stumpy?
Cool.
Well, this is fun, isn't it?
Left!
Right!
No, no!
Tobias, what have you done?
- Fuck!
- No, it's fine.
It's fine.
We can fix it. We can fix it, OK?
We, um Maybe we can grind the hatchet down.
No. El, no
Find something to saw it in half.
- Arnold, we can
- Ellie! Ellie, stop!
Oh, God.
We're so close
I know.
- You know something?
- What?
Despite all the death and destruction,
I've not had the worst time since you got back.
Really?
I missed you, El.
Every day.
I should have called.
I should have made sure that you were OK.
No, I shouldn't have abandoned you.
It's the worst mistake I've ever made
and I am so sorry.
You know, you're my favourite person.
Yeah, I do.
That is quite the kiss for
a man who's never been laid.
- Oh!
- What? Oh, my God!
- What? Did you just?
- No.
Fuel.
The factory, it's surrounded! They're everywhere!
Speed it up!
I wish these things would FUCK OFF!
I cannot believe that just worked!
What?
Hold on
Get down, get down! Down, down, down!
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
They're everywhere! Come on, come on! Go!
Go, go, go!
They're inside.
Get the hatchet, it's hot enough.
Where's the?
Oh, not you, too!
Arn, you gotta destroy it.
Wait
- I can't.
- What?
- I can't!
- What?!
Just the hours Mum spent making it
Wait, wait, wait, wait
Hey, Sparkles,
remember me?
Uh-huh.
- You can have the hatchet.
- Ah!
Yeah! Oh, no. I don't want it.
But
But if she's in there.
- My mum.
- Hmm.
Our mumma
Well, then, just
Just tell her
Whoa.
Ho-ho! Your therapist is gonna
have a field day with this one!
Devon, reload!
- These are all we've got left.
- Oh, come on!
Don't tell me that. This is the
most fun I've had in months.
- You are a nightmare.
- Yeah, but you love me.
Hey! Don't be unprofessional.
It's working! It's working!
Uh, Ellie
Oh, shit!
- Light 'em up!
- Bombs away!
Come on! Come on!
Under there! Go, go, go, go!
No, no, no!
Arnold! The kiln!
She's inside.
No, we we
We could still
She's here.
Ellie.
- No
- Ellie!
this is gonna work.
No, it has to work!
- Eloise
- We had a plan!
It didn't work. You have to leave.
Please
leave me.
You can't have him!
Do you hear me?! You can't have him!
Bluttrinker!
Oh, my God!
Oh, that looks
Yeah, that was bad. I feel uncomfortable.
Icky optics, yeah.
Oh, my God! You did it again!
Arnold! Catch!
Sorry, Arnold.
Stumpy!
Stumpy
You were my favourite person, too.
Now you get to stay here forever.
Come on, you lot.
Oh
Oh Oh, Jesus
But he's supposed to be lucky.
Arnold!
You're alive!
We did it?
Oh, that's!
It's just It's a shame, that's all.
Why is it a shame?
He would have made a great centrepiece
for our next festival.
Gotcha!
Lachie!
Well done, you guys!
- Unbelieveable.
- Well done, you.
- Are you alright?
- Medals all round.
I could have an aneurysm now
Oh, my God
Arnold Kipps,
I'm gonna need you to come with me.
Gladly.
Watch out!
There's a gnome! There's a gnome!
It's them!
Creatures that you know
Afraid to see They know what you are
It's them
They're stepping off the lawn
Nowhere to hide You won't survive till dawn
Glowing eyes, a mean complexion
Pointy hats, terracotta invasion
In the night they're waking up
Out of sight They're out for blood! ♪