Happy Days (1974) s01e06 Episode Script

1
One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock rock
Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock rock
Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock rock
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
Put your glad rags on, join me, hon
We'll have some fun when the clock strikes one
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the clock strikes two, three, and four
If the band slows down, we'll yell for more
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the chimes ring five, six, and seven
We'll be right in seventh heaven
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock, till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the clock strikes twelve, we'll cool off then
Start a-rockin' 'round the clock again
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight ♪
One child, please.
Come on.
Hiya, I'm Potsie.
How about you and me doin' a slow bop
and then headin' out for the submarine races?
Drop dead.
Maybe some other time.
Didn't wanna dance with you, huh?
She wasn't my type. Let's blow.
OK.
Oh, hey, Bag.
I'm surprised to see you here.
I had a date with Carol Dronsky,
but she came down with the Asiatic flu,
so I came here lookin' for a replacement.
Hi. I'm Bag.
Wanna go to a Demon party?
I'd love to.
Hey, you guys,
uh, don't drink too much lemonade.
I wonder why a girl like that would go out with Bag.
Are you kiddin'? She's not goin'
with Bag. She's goin' with a Demon.
You put on a Demon jacket, and it's like date bait.
Yeah, I guess the girls think they're pretty cool.
Potsie Webber, date bait.
I'm tellin' you, Rich, we should try to join.
Potsie, you keep saying that, but
Do you wanna be a nerd or a-a cool guy with the chicks?
I-I don't think they'd let us in.
They might if we had the right guy to recommend us.
Who?
Fonzie used to be a Demon.
Come on, baby.
OK, this time. This time.
Aaaay.
What's the matter, you don't love me anymore?
Didn't I just buy you new spark plugs, huh?
Don't you get the best oil, huh?
Oh, hey, I'm sorry. Hey, I lost my head.
Hey, Fonz.
Aaaay.
How much do you weigh?
Good. Get on.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
I didn't say play Marlon Brando.
Just jump on the starter.
Oh, sure, Fonz.
Fonzie, you were in the Demons once, weren't you?
Yeah. Do it again.
As a matter of fact, keep doin' it till I say stop.
Come here. What's up?
Well, we were thinking
about trying to get into the Demons.
Oh, man, why do you want to do somethin' like that?
They're a bunch of bananas.
The girls really seem to go for 'em.
You don't gotta be a Demon to get girls. Look at me!
Yeah, but Fonzie, I mean we're not as cool as you are.
True.
We were wonderin' if you'd help us get in.
Hey, it's one thing
doin' somethin' stupid on your own,
but don't ask me to help.
Fonzie, you're the only person
who can help us get into this club.
Well, seein' how you got your little heart set on it,
all right.
Thanks, Fonzie. Really.
No sweat.
H-Hey, Fonz. Could I ask one more favor?
Sure.
Can I stop now?
Hey, don't knock yourself out.
Thanks.
Hey, listen, thanks again, Fonzie.
Yeah.
Hey!
How much do you weigh?
Mom, Dad won't let me paint.
Howard.
She keeps putting 3s in the number-2 space,
a-and now Blue Boy has yellow eyes.
It's her painting.
If she wants him to have yellow eyes
Gainsborough put all those nice little 2s
in his eyes for a reason.
Mom, do you have my chinos ready?
All ready, dear. Great, thanks.
You got a big night tonight, Richie?
Oh, uh, no. I'm just going to a meeting
at the Demons' clubhouse.
The Demons?
It's just this club that Potsie
and I are trying to get into.
What kind of boys would belong to a club called the Demons?
They're just high school boys, Marion.
I hear they got a pretty stiff hazing.
'Course, nothin' like a college frat.
Richie, you use good sense.
Don't let 'em talk you into doing anything
you don't wanna do.
I won't, Dad. I better get going.
I don't want to be late. See ya.
All right, dear.
All finished.
Good.
Now you put the 5s in the number-3 spaces.
I used up all my 3s in the 1 spaces.
I'm going out and watch Milton Berle.
He wouldn't put a 3 in a 1 space
Not even for a laugh.
Your father is such a jokester.
Ohh.
Well?
Very nice, dear.
O great high Demon,
the initiates are present.
The tribunal is ready to hear your petition.
Hey, uh, could we cut out the humbo jumbo?
I got a date.
Now, repeat after the high Demon.
Did I tell you to raise your hand yet?
OK.
Now, uh, raise your hand.
I do solemnly swear never to reveal
what shall come to pass in this house
Even under penalty of death
or getting a knuckle sandwich.
Do solemnly swear never to reveal
what shall come to pass what shall come
Oh, yeah! To pass!
In this under this roof in this room
In this house No, house. Home
I, uh, I think they got the drift, hmm?
OK, that was close enough.
All right. You may be seated.
Who has brought forth these initiates?
Who do you think brought 'em here Eisenhower?
Come on, Fonz.
OK, OK, don't get yourself into tears here.
It is I, Demon Fonzarelli,
who has brought forth these two guys.
Thank you, Fonz.
Richie Cunningham
if you are accepted as a Demon,
what contributions can you make?
Well, uh, uh, I'm a hard worker,
and I'm an honor student, and, uh,
and also a pretty good basketball player.
That's that's thrilling.
That's wonderful. We always wanted a club dribbler.
Potsie Webber.
Uh, yes, sir.
"Potsie Webber"? What kind of name is this?
Well, they call me Potsie because when I was a young boy,
I used to like to make things with clay,
and one day, my mother called me "Potsie."
I never knew that. Oh, yeah.
You know that lumpy ashtray in the living room?
I remember you talking about that.
Can we discuss arts and crafts later?
Potsie, why should we let you be a Demon?
Well, as you can see, I'm a nice guy,
and I know a lot of jokes.
Let's hear one.
Sure, uh Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sarah.
Sarah who?
Sarah doctor in the house?
Oh, boy.
Was my joke that bad?
I don't know. Where'd they go?
To vote on you. And I don't think it's gonna be a landslide.
Congratulations.
You made it through the first step.
That's great!
Oh, yeah! When do we get our jackets?
You guys ain't full members yet.
First, we have to find out if you're really Demon material,
and there are six little things you gotta do first.
What kind of little things?
Oh, we like to call them "the deadly dares."
OK, you gotta make some phone calls.
You do this one.
Are you sure?
I did this when I was in seventh grade.
Hey, are you gonna be long?
As long as it takes.
Hello. Olde English Tobacco Shop?
Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
You better let him out before he suffocates.
Now, do it just like we planned so nothing can go wrong.
Well
Marsha, over here, quick!
Aah! Oh, help! No!
Aah! Oh, help! Help!
Oh! Oh, it was horrible.
I was attacked.
It was those kids.
There must have been 50 of them!
If we pull this off,
we'll be legends in our own time.
Potsie, we can't tell anybody we did this!
All, right. We'll be anonymous legends.
It's almost time.
Mr. Crenshaw is always on time.
5 4 3 2 1.
Boys! Boys! No skating in the hall!
Oh, look at that thing!
Hey, this is neat!
You ain't here to watch the pictures.
Oh!
My country 'tis of thee
Sweet land of liberty Of thee I sing
Hey, come on. Stand up.
You're Americans sing! Stand up! Sing!
died Land of the pilgrim's pride
What's going on?
It's Richard and Potsie.
Hi, Richie! Hi, Potsie!
ring My country 'tis of thee ♪
Just sit here, dear, and I'll get some aspirin.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I don't know what gave me the headache
Your singing or those giant lizards leaping at my throat.
I didn't mean to embarrass you.
I I had no idea you'd be in there.
They're making you and Potsie do some pretty silly things.
I know.
Have you given any thought to
the idea that maybe it's not worth it?
It's just that girls seem to be so impressed
by guys who are in the Demons, you know?
And Potsie and I have gotten this far.
It's your decision, Richard.
It just seems to me that girls who are impressed
by jackets with "Demons" written on it
might not be worth impressing.
Well, Dad, Potsie and I really want to do this.
You do what you think is right.
Thanks, Dad.
It must have been a terrible experience, Miss Simms.
Oh, yeah.
There were lips all over me.
I only wish I could have caught those animals in the act.
Yeah, so do I.
By the way, you can call me Marsha.
I'm not sure that being a Demon
is worth trying something like this.
Don't worry, Rich.
When it's over, we'll laugh about it.
I really don't think I should go out with you.
Why not?
Well, we hardly know each other,
and after everything that happened,
I don't want you to think I'm an easy date.
Marsha, I respect you.
You do?
You were just a victim of juvenile delinquency.
Yeah, I guess so.
I've gotta get back to my beat.
Here's some money for the soda.
Police don't have to pay.
I'm an honest cop.
You won't see me sweatin' on TV
in front of that Kefauver Committee.
Now, here's some money for the soda,
and here's a little somethin' extra for yourself.
Thank you.
What about tonight?
Sure. If you can't trust a policeman,
who can you trust?
Right.
I'll see you tonight, ma'am.
I'll look forward to it.
Aah! Aah!
I knew it! All men are animals!
"Well, you're doi" pretty good.
One more dare, and you're in.
Yeah, well, it was pretty rough, but, uh, we can cut it.
Good, 'cause this next one is really gonna show
whether you're man enough to be a Demon.
Now, these are your father's favorite cookies.
You want him to have some, don't you?
I'd rather give 'em to Stanley Kimmel.
Good night, Dad. Oh, good night, son.
I thought we were gonna make the puddings.
We can do both.
When I was a little girl, I used to help my mother.
Did she tell you not to eat the raisins?
I never liked raisins.
Now
This is better than sewing, Mom.
See, you put two little raisins for eyes,
and then your gingerbread man is finished.
Marion And here's his bellybutton.
He doesn't need a bellybutton, dear.
Take your finger out of his little tummy.
Look, Mom and I made a gingerbread man. Isn't he beautiful?
Yes, and speaking of beautiful,
did you happen to notice our son?
And right now I'm using the term loosely.
Yes, didn't he look cute? Cute?
It took me almost an hour to get his makeup like that.
You mean, you helped him to go out looking like that?
Yes, dear. This is part of his initiation into the Demons.
When I was initiated into a club,
all I had to do was to swallow a few live goldfish.
You mean you ate those poor little things alive?
Joanie, we're not talking about goldfish now.
What we're talking about is why
my son is out there walking the streets
looking like Doris Day.
Ate those itty-bitty fish alive.
He has to go to the sock hop
and stay there until somebody dances with him.
Well, the way he looks, he's
gonna be there until he's an old lady.
Oh, dear, where are you going?
We-We haven't finished yet.
I'm gonna go hide my goldfish.
What took you so long?
Do you know how long it takes to put on mascara?
This is really embarrassing. What could be worth all this?
Well, I'm embarrassed, too.
How do you think I felt asking my sister to borrow mascara?
Yeah, at least it'll all be over soon.
Oh, I hope so.
This is really dumb.
Yeah.
Oh, brother.
Wallflower, let's dance.
Fonzie
Fonzie
It's me Richie.
See, this is all a part of the Demons' initiation.
I knew that. I knew that all the time.
You did?
Yeah. I was just trying to help
you out, you know what I mean?
Oh, hey, thanks.
Yeah, well, don't bother thankin' me.
Just beat it so no one sees me standin' here talkin' to you,
you know what I mean?
Hey dance.
Don't ask.
Well, now we're Demons.
Now we'll have the jackets.
And the secret handshake.
And the girls.
Oh, yeah. The girls.
Man, I'm really happy. Aren't you, Rich?
Oh, sure.
I mean, we got it made.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
What's the matter?
I'm not happy.
I don't even particularly like Bag or Hank.
Fonzie's right.
All the Demons are bananas.
Why should we join a bunch of bananas?
Who needs 'em? Not us!
You're right!
Right!
Hey, Rich?
Yeah? Now I'm happy.
Me too.
Come on in, Dad.
Hi, fellas.
Well, how'd it go tonight?
Did you get somebody to dance with you?
Yeah Fonzie. Fonzie, huh?
Of all the guys at the dance, you had to pick a dropout.
Come on, Dad.
Well, at least you're Demons now.
Well, that's what you wanted, wasn't it?
Well we decided not to join, Mr. C.
You mean to say that you spent a whole week
making fools out of yourselves,
and now you don't want to join?
We just realized that any girls who were impressed
just because a guy had a Demon jacket on
wasn't really worth impressing.
Hmm. Makes sense. I wish I'd said that.
Well, I better be takin' off.
I turn back into a Potsie at midnight.
Good night.
Good night, Potsie. See you later.
Oh, hi, Joanie.
Hi, Potsie. Cute outfit.
Thanks.
How come you guys are still up?
Private conversation, Joanie.
Go on back to bed.
Dad thinks you look like Doris Day.
Joanie bed, please?
But I think you look more like My Little Margie.
Good night, Joanie.
Good night.
You know what? I paid $5 for this dress.
I sort of hate to just throw it out.
Why don't you save it? Maybe
Joanie can wear it in a few years.
Wait a minute!
I'm not wearin' my brother's hand-me-downs!
Happy days ♪
Hello, sunshine, goodbye, rain
She's wearin' my school ring on her chain
She's my steady, I'm her man
I'm gonna love her all I can
This day is ours
Won't you be mine? These happy days
This day is ours
Oh, please be mine Oh, happy days
Happy days ♪