House of Stassi (2026) s01e06 Episode Script
Merry Stressmas
1
[dramatic orchestral music]
- So big of me, right?
I didn't think that I was
throwing you under the bus.
I'm sorry that you felt that.
- Yes. I need my girls
to be getting along.
- This friendship
that we have now,
like, let's just see
what that's like.
- I want to just build
from this day forward.
- This is good.
- OK, that was so [bleep] up.
You traumatize each other.
- Can I finish?
- We all traumatize each other.
- I'm not traumatizing shit.
She's incorrect. Just FYI.
- Well, um,
I get to see my girl,
Morgan Stewart,
and my husband blindsides me
for Christmas.
So 'tis this season.
[dramatic music]
♪
[suspenseful orchestral music]
STASSI:
I'm hearing things like
how Stassi has
traumatized the family.
This family is so [bleep] up.
♪
It is.
We can all agree on that.
And I have two kids that make
me want to just be, like,
I want to remove myself
from this family.
♪
- I wouldn't say
you necessarily traumatize me.
I just don't know you.
- That's true.
We don't know each other.
- You know?
Like--
- It was--
it's been really hard
to get over
everything that you texted me.
I--I actually I find it
impossible sometimes.
When my mom and I have gotten
into fights or arguments,
Nikolai has messaged
some pretty awful,
gross things to me
that were incredibly hurtful.
Like, if you are just, like,
Team Mom no matter what,
I was just, like,
yeah, I don't [bleep]
with this energy.
- And you told me, bro.
And it hurt.
You told me we were never gonna
be best friends like that.
And I was, like,
OK, so I'm not talking to you.
And I stood by that.
I didn't because I thought
you didn't want to talk to me.
- I was, what,
15 when he was born?
Our relationship
isn't that close.
Me and my siblings,
we all have different dads.
And then my Mom has
a habit of, like,
pitting my siblings against me.
There just doesn't feel like
a grounding energy force
anywhere in our family.
- I think we've all
traumatized each other.
I think I shouldn't have said
Stassi traumatizes the family.
- No. That was like a really
[bleep] thing to say, Georgi.
- Yeah, no.
It probably was, and I'm sorry.
I should have been better
with my words.
I know now not to go to Georgia
and talk about those things.
I'll go to my best friends.
When we're fighting,
I just throw things out there.
Like she does, I'll say.
Not that it's a competition
or anything, but I feel guilty.
So I just have
to take accountability
and take this right now.
- Despite everything,
I love you.
- I love you, too.
- I love you.
NIKOLAI: I love you, too.
- I love you.
GEORGIA: I love you.
- [speaks Italian] I love you.
- Thank you.
GEORGI: [speaks Italian]
- Well, I'm glad this
didn't end in full disaster.
- We got this.
Go, team.
[chuckles]
- Great meet-up. See you guys
again in two years.
[laughter]
[quirky music]
[bell rings]
- That made me like you
a little more.
NIKOLAI: [laughs] Thank you.
[laughter]
[upbeat music]
TAYLOR: Come on,
you little slowpokes.
- Come on, ladies.
- The Molasses Sisters.
That should be the name
[indistinct chatter]
[laughter]
♪
- Friendsgiving was a success.
But now that we're here,
like, we need to stay here
because my making-up battery
is on empty.
So I'm genuinely worried
for the next person
who pisses me off.
TEDDY: The older we get,
the less dysfunctional we get.
STASSI:
Well, let's hope and pray.
[peaceful music]
[stately orchestral music]
♪
Hi.
- You're getting up.
You're getting up.
- Yeah, of course.
So good to see you.
- So good to see you.
- Morgan Stewart is one of
the great talents of our time.
Started doing
Rich Kids of Beverly Hills,
that reality show,
about the same time I was
doing Vanderpump Rules.
- What are we drinking?
What time is it?
- You know what?
It's almost noon.
We both have been, like,
the "mean girl" on our
respective reality TV shows.
BOTH: Cheers.
[glasses clink]
- We both got married
at the same time.
We had kids at the same time.
We both loved
Chanel ballet flats.
[chuckles]
Are we the same person?
[bell rings]
[laughs]
Oh.
SERVER: Here we go.
So they're tuna tacos.
STASSI: Thank you.
- Did you deal with
your kids this morning?
- Yes, I dealt with my kids
this morning.
- [screaming]
- Stop talking.
Stop screaming for one second.
- [screaming]
- I, like, check out.
I'm, like, Mommy's peeing.
Mommy's peeing
for an hour and a half.
- Isn't that wild?
- It's wild.
- Like, going to the bathroom
by yourself becomes a luxury.
- Yeah. And then eventually,
they, like, find you.
STASSI: Oh, yeah.
- Or they're, like,
Daddy won't--
I'm, like, Daddy needs
to deal with it right now.
What is this?
- Oh, I forgot.
I ordered meatballs.
MORGAN:
Oh.
- We're gonna finish it
with our Manchego cheese.
- Can we do half no-cheese?
Is that OK?
SERVER: Yes, that's fine.
- Sorry.
- Oh, my God.
You don't eat cheese?
- I hate cheese.
[bell rings]
And my mom is [bleep] Swiss.
So it's, like,
fondue and everything.
- Your mom is so chic.
- She's a little nuts,
but she's pretty chic.
- You're lucky you have such
a good relationship with her.
It's, like--
- Do you have a good
relationship with your mom?
- Not really.
[quirky suspenseful music]
- What's the deal there?
- She used to be this, like,
boss bitch when
I was growing up.
MORGAN: OK.
- Like, she had to hustle.
She didn't have
that much money,
and I always was aware of that.
- OK.
STASSI: And respected it.
- Yup.
- And then when I got on
Vanderpump Rules,
she quit working.
- So you feel like she put
all the responsibility on you?
- Yes.
I just, like, have
an issue with people
who can't take care
of themselves.
- I just don't think
it's possible.
I want the rest
of my family around
for the sake of everyone.
But, like,
me, my kids and my husband,
that's, like,
really all that matters.
Once too much has happened,
too many things have been said.
I'm just, like, boundary up.
Like, you don't have
full access to my life.
It's, like, hard to even
explain because--
- Your energy
feels very serious.
- Like, I feel like when
I'm around her, I tense up.
I feel like a serial killer.
MORGAN: Right.
Do you have a therapist?
- Oh, no.
I can't.
- But no therapy at all, ever?
- I tried doing
couples therapy,
and, like,
I think it's so boring.
MORGAN: Couples?
No, couples is boring.
- It's so boring.
- What were you gonna
talk about in couples therapy?
Nothing?
- That, like, Beau needs more
physical touch or something.
I don't know.
- I would snort this drink
if I could.
I cannot with the physical.
Are you mean to Beau?
- I don't think so.
It's just, like, hard.
I think I am nice.
- There's a lot going on.
- I'm not mean.
He likes that I'm mean.
MORGAN: I know.
- So I'm sorry.
MORGAN:
That's the funniest thing.
STASSI:
He likes that I'm tough.
He likes that
he has to chase me.
- You want to be married
to him forever, right?
- Yes.
Like, no, so I'll go to therapy
or do all the things
if I need to.
- So you'll go back in a year?
- When he asks?
MORGAN: As a refresh?
- When he asks earnestly.
On days that I don't have
therapy, I wake up happy.
On days that I do have therapy,
I wake up sad.
It puts me in a shit mood.
I am working out my issues
constructively with Beau
right now, OK?
Could you imagine if
we added therapy to that
in addition to this show?
No, thankies.
I'm gonna make you throw up.
We did art therapy.
- What's art therapy?
Like, you did art together?
- Yeah, like--
like, at our house.
- I do love the sparkle
that's in your eyes.
It's, like, brighter
than it ever was before.
[soft dramatic music
slows down and stops]
[tense note]
- [bleep] off.
- I think you've done
what you need to do.
STASSI: I think so, too.
- I think that's enough.
- Wife of the year.
[laughter]
[upbeat orchestral music]
♪
- You want some beard work?
Beard dye?
I got you covered.
- I'm gonna figure that out.
- You're gonna figure it out
when you get in the chair.
- Yeah.
- I need a consultation.
- You're in good hands.
- I don't want to look,
like, you know--I start crying.
I've had an emotional week.
And I just don't want to cry
and then start dripping,
you know.
Did you think about that?
I don't know.
- [chuckling] I don't know.
- I asked Rob to meet me
at the barber shop
to get a little
beard consultation.
Uh, looking to get
back into casting,
so I really just want to look
my best when I walk back in.
I feel old, I look old.
I look like I have
a [bleep] vagina on my face
with my goatee.
- [chuckles]
- Should I go light?
Should I go darker?
Who knows?
We'll find out.
PATTY: I can keep the salt
and add just a little pepper
so that this
is not so prominent.
- OK, I want some pepper
into my salt, too.
PATTY: OK.
ROB: All right, Patty.
PATTY: All right, let's do it.
- Thank you so much.
BEAUTIFUL: Cheers.
- All right.
Well, you don't want
to see me on tequila,
you don't want to see him
on Tito's.
[clippers buzzing]
[upbeat music]
BEAU: Hold on.
I gotta look real quick.
I gotta look.
- [laughs]
- What the shit?
I look like a Vegas magician.
[laughter]
- Who's--who's the--
the tiger guys?
Sigmund and Freud.
[bell ringing]
I think I'd rather get, like,
a tattoo that's spelled, like,
the wording wrong on my chest.
I was not expecting this.
I need a bag.
Someone cut some holes out
and put a bag over my face.
I cannot walk out
looking like this.
This is--this is ridiculous.
Just had a morning with Stass
so I'm just kind of, like--
ROB: Already?
BEAU: Yeah.
Last night,
I asked my sister Georgia
if she can watch the kids
so I can at least sleep in
till 9:00 a.m.
This morning, Stassi decided
to wake me up at 8:00 a.m.
And she's been gone
the last few days
in New York
for Tell Me Lies,
so this was my one time just
to sleep in till 9:00 a.m.
My sister had everything
covered, but Stassi said no.
This morning,
Stassi's getting up
and, like, stomping around
and she storms in.
She's, like, why aren't you up?
And I'm, like, Georgia's
watching them till 9:00.
She's, like, you said 8:00.
I'm, like, I said 9:00.
And she's, like,
I have a scene to do.
And I'm like, I do too!
♪
She just walks past me
and I'm, like,
defense is up because
now I'm in trouble.
Now I'm about to apologize
for something else
that I [bleep] did that
I have no idea what's going on.
- You can't live
like that, dude.
BEAU: This will be
less of an issue.
I started, um--I reached out
to one of my old bosses
to see if I can start
working again casting,
running sessions again.
A year ago, year and a half ago
when I was working,
I [bleep] loved it.
I go to my job,
it was socializing,
I was creating,
I was working with actors.
This is--
this is what I want to do.
In the short term,
Stassi might get a little upset
that I am going back to work,
but me going back to work
makes me feel better.
So that's obviously gonna
help our relationship.
- If he's, like, yeah, I can
hire you for the next job--
- Great.
- You know,
do you go tell Stassi then?
- No, no, no. I'm gonna tell--
no, no, no.
I'm not gonna
pull a surprise on her.
- Yeah.
BEAU: That would suck.
I'm just gonna let her know.
I'm gonna be honest about it
and just say,
this is what's happening.
[quirky tense music]
I actually don't know
if I am gonna tell her.
I'm very scared of what
she'll say and do.
I'm very scared.
♪
- Of course
I'm scared of Stassi.
We'll see how it goes.
[dramatic music]
Do I look under 40 now?
- [laughs]
- Don't lie.
[stately orchestral music]
♪
- Ooh, that's a good one.
- Margarita for you.
TEDDY: Thank you so much.
TAYLOR: Thank you.
- And then here you go.
- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
SERVER: You're welcome.
TAYLOR:
Teddy is 34 weeks pregnant,
so I mean, she could, like,
literally go, like, any day.
Teddy leaves in a few days
to go back to New York City,
but I have to stay for work.
Until the last second I can.
There's so little time
for just the two of us left,
and I'm gonna miss
a big part of it.
We're gonna have, like,
a cute little date night.
And also, I really need tonight
to make sure that
Teddy's, like, fully on board
with me staying behind.
Ooh!
- Can I smell it?
- Yeah.
[upbeat music]
Oh, yeah. It's good stuff.
TAYLOR: [laughs]
- I think that's what
I want in the hospital.
- I feel like everybody wants
a margarita in the hospital.
- Anyway, are you going
to be mad if I don't cry
when I leave you
at the airport?
- You know what?
I'm not gonna cry.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, I'm good.
I'm all cried out.
- [laughs]
TAYLOR: I'm good.
- I don't believe you.
- We'll see.
- If Stass gave you the green
light and was, like, go home,
like, would you go home?
- Yes.
- So what's
keeping you here now?
- Work.
- We received an offer
from Netflix.
- [gasps]
- To be the streaming platform
of Stassi's video podcast.
- What?
Teddy and I, we've been in LA
to get STASSI with Tay,
this podcast off the ground.
But now Netflix is gonna
have the video portion
of the podcast,
like, streaming?
I cannot miss this.
But, like, I also can't miss
the birth of my child.
Stassi is not my boss,
but Stassi is kind of my boss.
And she is literally
paying me a paycheck.
If she says, we need to get
the podcast up by this date
in January,
and Netflix is on my ass--
also, I feel like Netflix
is breathing down her neck
to release at a certain time.
This is where mine and Teddy's
love is ruined forever.
Because I am staying.
Because this is my career
and I need to give it my all.
And I need to show
everybody involved
that I take this seriously,
that this is important to me.
I am happy that
we are where we are.
This is the
right timing for us.
But this is exactly
why I said,
maybe we should wait
to start trying
until after we finally
get the [bleep] green light
for the show.
I remember talking
about the concept
of House of Stassi four years
ago with Stassi and Beau
sitting around their island
in their kitchen.
The way I have been a part
of this every step of the way?
So the idea of missing out on
any bit of this process,
it's just like--
it's a flat-out no.
- I waited for 3 1/2 years.
- And I get it.
But, like,
this is [bleep] exactly why
I was trying to hold out.
Children, child, whatever,
equals money to me.
I'm our literal
financial safety net.
My dad grew up poor,
so he's always really scared
about not having money.
He transferred that fear
onto me.
I have to do everything
within my power
to keep making the bread.
- Tay has used every excuse
in the book
for me to push
getting pregnant.
It was starting
to get to the point where
I really was starting to resent
all of her excuses,
and I think she didn't
want me to resent this show.
But we waited long enough
to get pregnant.
And so her saying
I should have waited,
at this point, is just, like--
is total bullshit.
With this, while
I'm so grateful for it,
it's, like, the more we
get in the weeds with Stass
and we get on this train,
the less control
we have over our lives.
TAYLOR: Correct.
- And I [bleep] hate that.
It's like,
if they say, jump, you jump.
- Yeah.
- Is that going to be, like,
the rest of our professional
lives, is just, like, you know,
whatever Stassi says,
that's what we do?
[suspenseful music]
- I look at this through
a completely different lens.
And you've actually
never really worked.
For, like,
for a long, long time
in, like, a typical
corporate environment.
- I worked in tech
for five years and I was--
- Yes, but you
worked from home.
It's different.
Like, I've--I spent 12 years
in corporate America at Sirius.
The timing is not ideal,
but I've been doing this shit
for 20 years,
and I finally feel like
all of this is my big break.
The deal with Netflix, this
is being on House of Stassi.
Like, this stuff is major.
And I've been working
so hard for this. [sniffles]
And I finally [bleep] feel like
it's happening for me,
and now I can't even enjoy it.
- I don't want
to sound ungrateful
because I am very grateful.
I think it's just an adjustment
that I'm gonna have to make.
Just understand
where I'm coming from.
And I completely hear
where you're coming from.
And I know it's hard
to be the breadwinner
and you've had a lot
of pressure on yourself
for a long time.
It's just gonna be
an adjustment for me.
TAYLOR: I'm sick at the idea
of missing this delivery.
I think Teddy would
put on a brave face.
But I think it would make her
love me less.
Like, I just feel like
I want to throw up.
[suspenseful orchestral music]
♪
[bright festive music]
♪
- Are you ready?
Seriously, nothing makes me
happier than Christmas.
If I could live in Christmas
nine months out of the year,
that would be ideal.
Normally, I do, like,
a themed tree every year.
Now, I don't theme
the tree anymore
because I have children,
and so we do hodgepodge trees.
- [imitating festive music]
STASSI: Are we gonna do this?
Let's start with
the Victorian bulbs.
I have, like,
an open-door policy
when it comes to decorating
the house for the holidays.
So Georgi and Georgia are here.
And Katie,
she's a Christmas girl, too.
Merry Christmas.
- Smells like Christmas.
- We have different
Christmas aesthetics,
but we're equally
as passionate.
HARTFORD:
Who bought this for me?
- I did.
- I'm gonna keep it.
BEAU:
Stassi's been sick,
so I just didn't know
when was the right time
to actually tell her that
I have a job interview.
Truthfully, there's just
no good time to tell Stassi.
Yeah, I'm--I'm--
I'm screwed.
- There's nothing
better than this!
- You're doing such a good job.
[Beau clears throat]
- I'm gonna have to leave, too,
in, like, 15 minutes.
[tense music]
♪
To, uh, go see Jacob.
- To see who?
- Jacob, casting, about, uh--
- We're decorating
the Christmas tree.
What the [bleep]?
I feel fully blindsided
by this.
[dramatic music]
BEAU: I'm gonna have to leave
too, in, like, 15 minutes.
[tense music]
To, uh, go see Jacob.
- We're decorating
the Christmas tree.
HARTFORD:
What?
[tense note]
- Awkward.
I think Beau didn't want
to give Stassi a heads-up
because he didn't want to get
into an argument about it.
- Really?
BEAU: Yeah.
- OK.
- 'Cause this is the only time
that he was able to see me.
STASSI:
OK.
- It shouldn't be
too long, but--
[indistinct chatter]
I'm just gonna see if I can--
- Good job, Messer.
Yeah.
BEAU:
Get some hours in, or--
- I might look like
I'm not reacting here.
Like, inside, I'm fuming.
I'm just pretending
everything's OK for my kids.
So I'm just, like--[buzzes]
Short-circuiting.
Like, I don't know how
I'm supposed to act right now.
- Just waiting for--
- Is your beard darker?
It looks good.
[chuckles]
- I mean,
it's been a whole day.
It's, like, been over 24 hours.
[chuckles]
And you've seen my face--
- In all fairness,
I didn't see you yesterday.
I've been sick in bed.
- You didn't--
STASSI: So don't.
Don't actually do that.
Don't do that one.
- No, no, you didn't--
you didn't--you did see me.
You did see me.
Do you look at my face?
Am I here?
This is not, like, you know,
that movie where everyone
thinks the guy's alive
and you realize he's dead
and then he's just a ghost.
Is that happening to me?
Like, I am here, right?
GEORGIA:
So we are moving out today.
- How do you feel? Excited?
- Yeah, but also sad.
- I know, but you're gonna have
your own bed to sleep in now.
- Yeah, we should start,
like, finishing packing.
GEORGIA:
Yeah.
GEORGI: So we can
get everything going.
- I'm gonna actually
go get changed.
I gotta go.
- It looks like we're
moving out just in time,
'cause it does not look like
this is gonna end well.
I don't know if it's
the reality show or what,
because this level
of non-communication
is not normal for them.
- After, uh, Friendsgiving,
my mom came back here.
She wanted to give
the kids their presents
because we're not gonna
spend Christmas together.
- Oh, yeah.
- And my mom gave me
and Georgi presents
and they came in a special box.
KATIE: Special plastic bag.
No. Are those teeth?
[bell rings]
[quirky music]
These are your teeth?
[chuckles]
Dude.
I thought it was weird that
my mom has report cards
from, like, second grade.
But this is a whole
'nother level here.
Your baby teeth?
- My--
[bleep]
[bell rings]
[chuckles]
- What did Mommy said?
- I don't know.
I think it was a word.
A bad word.
- Those are baby teeth?
- Yeah.
- Should I make a necklace
for you with my baby teeth?
♪
How do you feel about Kristina?
KATIE:
I think it went really well.
- Yeah.
- Well, OK, now that, like,
everyone's on good terms again,
the band's back together,
I feel like
it'd be cute to do,
like, a girls' night.
- Yes.
- I was feeling
real uncomfortable
about my friendships
and my place here,
but I feel like we really did
get to a good place
and resolve those issues.
I just want us
to have a night out
where we just finally have fun.
- All right, I'll be back.
Um--
- Good luck.
- Yeah.
[sighs]
♪
- I know, like, our lives
are chaotic, but, like,
he didn't tell me that he was
going and having that meeting.
- Damn.
[suspenseful music]
♪
STASSI: Hey.
- Hello.
- How did that go?
- What's that?
- First of all,
why didn't you tell me?
You've talked about this
for so long.
BEAU:
Yeah.
- And then for you
to actually--[sniffles]
Take the step to do it.
And then you don't tell me
ahead of time.
- I know.
Well, maybe I just didn't--
- Just while we're decorating
for Christmas, you're like,
by the way, I'm gonna peace out
and go do this.
- I apologize.
I just also--
this is something that
I know that--that--
[Stassi sniffles]
You're one of the main reasons
why I didn't go back to work.
So I'm just kind of--
I guess I was just kind of
iffy on telling you
until I figure it out.
STASSI: Until we were
in front of everyone.
That's what it felt like.
Well, how did it go?
- It went great.
I miss it, man.
You know?
I miss being here,
miss you, miss hanging out.
I miss directing
and doing all the stuff,
working with the actors.
- I'll say not everyone
is good at that job.
You are good at it.
- Thank you.
JACOB: That's for sure.
I am happy to have you back.
- [sighs]
My man. Thank you.
So just told him my schedule
and everything seems
to work out with him.
Like, time-wise, and
the times that I'm available.
- OK.
Spouses don't keep
major life decisions
like this from each other.
But then, to like,
just do that to me
in front of my friends
and family,
it was, like,
kind of humiliating
and especially during a time
that means a lot to me.
- Tree looks great.
- I know.
[scoffs]
[sniffles]
- OK, well, it looks great.
Do you need anything?
- I mean, you haven't asked me
how I've been once.
[tense notes]
[scoffs] Like, you've
literally just ignored me.
Like, I've been
on death's door.
- Well, I haven't liked how
you were treating me yesterday.
- You had to get up one hour
earlier than you thought.
Like--
- And you know what?
I would have loved my one hour.
STASSI: Goddamn, Beau.
- What?
- You hold a grudge
for 24 [bleep] hours.
BEAU:
No.
- And you ignored me while
I've been feeling like shit.
BEAU: I'm annoyed the way--
yes, I'm not talking to you
'cause I'm really angry and
and you never want to apologize
'cause you sat there
with the door open.
- I felt so sick.
And I still do.
And you haven't given a shit.
BEAU: OK.
Well, 'cause I didn't know.
Just like you didn't
talk to me either.
- 'Cause I woke up sick!
For [bleep] sake, Beau!
BEAU:
OK.
- This is what happens
in a marriage.
BEAU:
OK.
- Sometimes someone
wakes up sick.
BEAU: OK, OK.
- Sometimes there's an issue.
BEAU:
Well, I apologize.
- And to hold it over me
for 24 hours--
- I apologize again.
You could've told me.
- 'Cause I don't feel good,
it's like [bleep] ridiculous.
BEAU: This isn't
The House of Sickness.
Everyone's [bleep] sick.
I'm sorry that you're sick.
- Thank you.
STASSI:
No, it's like--
BEAU:
I'm sorry that you're sick.
STASSI:
God.
- If you're sick
and you needed something,
you could have also told me.
We were in Italy for
Vanderpump Villa
and I had it on camera.
You can go back to work.
She said it on camera.
- You know, I've heard you.
Like, I've--I've taken in the
things that you've told me
about wanting to go back
to work and do your own thing.
So if you want to go and
do that, we will make it work.
Also, because
I secretly know that
things always work out
in my favor.
- Also, we have Sonia.
So what's the problem?
STASSI:
[sniffling]
BEAU: God damn it.
Now I'm the [bleep] asshole.
It's frustrating that I'm still
here still talking about it.
I should have just said
[bleep] it a long time ago
and had the interview.
I probably would
have been a lot happier
than I am right now.
Nothing is gonna deter me
from going back to work,
especially this argument.
I'm over it.
[dramatic music]
- [sighs]
♪
[soft upbeat music]
♪
STASSI: This?
BEAU: Donations.
- So many trucks.
But he likes them all.
- Donation.
- Why the helicopter?
- I guess
I've never seen him go--
[imitates whirring]
Donation.
- Aw.
- Donation.
STASSI: Are you thinking
about each thing?
BEAU:
No.
- Beau and I are clearing out
the kids' toys
because Christmas
is around the corner.
She's been telling me to get
rid of this Christmas Barbie,
and I'm, like, no, I like it.
It's a vintage
Christmas Barbie.
BEAU: It is.
- I'm keeping it.
But we haven't talked
about that fight
after his job interview,
and it's time to clock in
and hash it out even though
I really don't want to.
- Does she need this?
- Uh, yeah.
- OK.
STASSI: You know,
we haven't really talked about
when you came home from
the meeting with your ex-boss.
- Mm-hmm.
STASSI:
I've thought about it a lot.
It's like I want to find a way
for you to feel like
you have your own thing.
You know,
I know you're resentful, too.
[soft dramatic music]
You don't communicate with me.
I think that
you should own that
that was a choice
to wait till--
BEAU: All right.
- The last minute. Like--
- OK.
- What do you need from me
in order for you
to not be resentful?
- Um--
[clears throat]
Stop with the jokes about how
it's not making any money.
This is something that
brings some creativity
and brings some life
back into my feelings.
So I don't see
what is the issue.
- [sniffles]
- Why are you
getting emotional?
- I'm just scared. [sobs]
Like, I'm scared.
BEAU: It's literally
30 minutes after Sonia is done
that I will be back.
- I know.
But you do so much
during the day here,
and it's just, like, scary.
- How many times do I have
to say, this is not a--
STASSI:
Just don't get frustrated.
- I am frustrated.
- I'm just trying to be honest.
BEAU:
I am frustrated.
I understand that
you're honest, but it's--
STASSI: I'm wanting to do
everything to support you.
I'm just scared that I--
- That the dishes
aren't gonna be done?
STASSI: I'm so lucky that
my kids have a dad they love
so much to the point where
they prefer him over me.
Like, they're gonna grow up
with zero [bleep] daddy issues.
That's incredible.
All I've known
of our family life
is me constantly working
on things and working on things
and knowing that
you're the heart of the home.
I don't think that's crazy
for me to feel that way.
It's not about, like,
me being alone with the kids
for an extra 30 minutes
or something.
Like, that's not
the [bleep] point.
He is the heart of this place.
Growing up,
life was not stable.
And I know it wasn't for you.
Like, all I want
is stability for me,
for you, and for our kids.
[somber music]
OK?
[sniffles]
It's just so important
that I give my children
the biggest happy family
possible.
Because I feel like at times,
I had that growing up,
and at times I really didn't.
I need you to talk to me.
- OK. Well, I didn't know
that you felt like this.
I just thought
this was all about
you being alone with the kids
because they're
so hard to deal with.
- [sniffles]
No.
- And I'm not there
and that's--
- It's not about that.
It's bigger than that.
I need you to reassure me.
I need to feel like
we're a team.
And I felt really alone
the other day.
Like, that made me
feel, like, oh,
this is already
separating us.
- I didn't realize that
this was her experience
and how she feels about
me going back to work,
and I wish that, like,
I knew that before
rather than
this back-and-forth
for, you know--
[chuckles]
Like, over a year now.
I think you'll be fine.
- [sniffles]
BEAU: And I think when
I'm back and you'll be, like,
oh, I was freaking out
over nothing.
- OK. Well, I really
want you to be really happy.
[sniffles]
[soft music]
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
I know that I need to encourage
Beau to do the things he loves,
be his own person.
But, like, there's still some,
like, uncertainty around it.
I don't think it's gonna
be as easy for me
as he thinks it's gonna be.
But time will only tell.
♪
[upbeat music]
♪
STASSI: After the last couple
of days, I feel like
a girls' night
is exactly what I need.
Hello.
TAYLOR: Hi.
STASSI: Hi.
- Do you die?
STASSI:
Very Ralph Lauren.
Beau is out with
Rob, Nick, Teddy.
ALL:
Hi.
KATIE:
Hello.
BOTH:
Hi.
- Oh, cheeky chic.
- You guys, girls' night.
- Nothing says progress
like separate group hangouts.
TEDDY: Thanks for including me
on boy night.
This table's table so thin,
I feel like we're [bleep].
- Whoa.
[laughter]
Is that how it works?
BEAU: Hey.
- Is that how it [bleep] works?
- That's exactly how it works.
- Like this, sitting up?
- Yeah.
- [laughs]
- Learn something
new every day.
- Honorary lesbians.
[laughter]
TAYLOR: I am sitting here
having a panic attack.
STASSI:
Why?
TAYLOR: Teddy,
she's leaving on Saturday.
I'm staying.
I am making a decision
to stay here.
20 years of, like,
working so [bleep] hard.
And I just hope she's
telling you the truth.
- Yeah.
- That she's OK with it because
I'm just feeling, like,
really shitty about it.
- Is this the beginning,
of like, I have to work?
You know what I mean?
And, like, we have a baby now
and this is first place.
- We need to be able
to support the baby,
which is Tay's, like,
number one fear.
So it's like if she has
to do X, Y and Z
and sacrifice time from us,
I get it.
It's just, like,
this is the worst [bleep] time.
- I think that it's actually
gonna be good for you guys.
And then when you come back
and you see her,
you're gonna be feeling
really happy and healthy
that you accomplished this.
It's just gonna make
your relationship stronger.
- Who is flying back with you?
- No one.
- I'll go with you.
- You don't have to.
I have a guy picking me up
and I'll be fine.
- That doesn't sound shady.
[laughs]
- I got a guy.
NICK: I got a guy.
- I got a guy.
- I got a guy back in Jersey.
I got a guy.
[laughter]
STASSI: So can I tell you
who I met last night?
KATIE:
Yeah.
- [laughs] You're, like,
on to bigger and better.
- Kris Jenner?
- We were at the L'Oreal
Women of Worth event.
I saw that
she'd gone to the bathroom
and I was, like, I'm not
going to be that person
that follows a celebrity
into the bathroom.
So, um, uh, we waited,
like, outside.
[laughs]
- And Stassi's basically like,
Kris, I love you.
I'm such a fan.
And Kris is like, oh, stop.
Keep going.
You know how Kris be.
- You know, I can't wait till
the next time I get to meet her
when I'm probably
a little bit more normal
and, like, I will have
some more to say.
[chuckles]
I didn't even take a photo
with her.
- You didn't take a photo?
- You should have been like,
do you guys want
a photo together?
TAYLOR: Oh, facts, facts.
I should have done that.
- Why didn't you do that?
- I thought maybe a picture
would make it
way too fan-girly.
And so that, like--
you're gonna meet again.
- You could establish more
of a friendship than like--
- Correct.
KRISTINA:
Because if you took the photo,
she's gonna put you
in that category.
- You're welcome.
- You actually
might not be wrong.
- Manifest that.
Manifest that for yourself.
STASSI:
Every damn day.
- Should we cheers?
- We should cheers.
- What are we cheersing to?
To friendship, to--
- Getting outside
of your comfort zone.
- That applies to me, the baby.
So that was for me.
- Cheers!
- Cheers.
- I cheersed the first time.
- No, you didn't.
ROB:
Cheers.
- Thanks for having me out
to dinner, guys.
- Cheers.
- Of course.
TEDDY:
Yeah.
ROB: How did your interview go?
- Good.
NICK: You're on the job hunt
right now?
- No, I went back
to one of my old bosses
that I worked for,
like, almost two years ago.
- What did he say?
- He said yeah.
So I'm just waiting on--
TEDDY: It would be,
like, part-time?
BEAU:
Yeah.
- How did Stass
take your meeting?
- We were tree-decorating,
and I was, like, all right,
so, um,
I'm gonna run out in 15.
Um--
- I'm sure she loved that.
- Oh, wait.
NICK: You just dropped that?
- You just,
"I'm going for the milk"
dad-ed them?
BEAU:
Yeah.
- I guess we need cigarettes.
I'll be right back.
- You set yourself up
for failure.
[bell rings]
STASSI: It's like,
you could have told me this
any other day,
and you're telling me this
right at the moment that--
I'm, like,
family decorating time.
BEAU: I didn't tell her 'cause
every time I do talk to her
about it, she gets angry.
- Now that you did the meeting,
how is Stass taking it all?
- We talked this morning.
It was a very strange reaction
that I wasn't expecting.
It was intense.
You're acting like
I'm literally going to
another country for three
months to do a casting of--
of small villagers
of a rural Romanian--
- We now know what Beau
wants to do.
- You know,
a vampire cult or something.
I definitely prefer
communicating
with Stassi this way.
It's vulnerable and it doesn't
feel like it's an attack
or belittling
how I feel about,
you know, my career
and things that I wanna do.
I'm like, I wish
she would talk to me
like this more often.
It was just such
a different thing. It was wild.
STASSI: All I've known of the
last few five years of my life
is what we've built.
Beau does so much
for our family
in such a great way that, like,
it's a lot to live up to.
It's a lot of things that I--
I don't have the gift for.
If Beau went back to work,
I would have to start
bringing Hartford to school.
I would have to start
packing her lunches,
making their dinner.
I can't cook dinner.
I know I can technically, like,
do anything I set my mind to.
But, like, can I?
I don't know.
So, like, this is scary that,
like, it would change.
KRISTINA: Nothing's broken.
Why are we trying to--but--
- Yeah.
- Tay and I have
talked about this
and I've known you for,
like, almost a decade.
You are the most fun,
the most vibrant person
who walks into the room.
And I feel like
over the past few years,
I haven't seen that as much.
I just want to see
the old Beau back.
- Yeah.
- You know?
I want to see, like, fun,
happy, vibrant guy that I met.
ROB:
I second that.
When you're cognitively going,
OK, I need something
to shift in my own life,
and then somebody saying,
I'm not letting you do that
TEDDY:
Yeah.
- And it's your most important
person in the world--
- Oh, yeah, that's--
that's frustrating.
- I don't think Stassi
has ever had a safe space.
And Beau represents
that safe space.
I think knowing that she has
somewhere to come back to
that's normal,
that's predictable,
is kind of all that she wants.
But at least you
got there to a point
where she's actually
starting to tell you
what the real shit is.
She's not angry you're going
back to work, she's scared.
- I can feel for Beau.
Max is more the breadwinner.
You're more the breadwinner.
Like, it feels more about
Max and his schedule
and what he has going on.
And, like, I feel like
I have to ask, like,
can I take a shower?
My time away is, like,
going grocery shopping.
So I think that
when I do ask more of him
and it shifts his schedule,
I have this sense of, like,
he's gonna be mad at me.
He's gonna resent me.
Like, all that stuff
builds up
and it's almost
just not worth it.
And I'm, like, I'm just not
even going to bring it up.
STASSI: When I hear Kristina
talk about this,
I have a little
more empathy for Beau,
but in no way am I like,
now, what can I take on?
No. We do have a nanny.
Like, Beau does get to leave
the house and live his life.
I feel like two weeks ago,
he just, like,
went midday and saw a movie.
Like, come on.
- When we say we feel like
your lights have been dimmed
or you've--it's felt different,
like, do you agree with that?
- I think that's--
that's pretty spot-on.
I feel like I just haven't
felt like myself
probably in
the last five years.
There's just something
that is missing
where I do feel
a little hollow inside
and I don't know
what to do about it.
[dramatic music]
- When we say we feel like
your lights have been dimmed
or you've--
it's felt different,
like, do you agree with that?
- I think that's--
that's pretty spot-on.
[dramatic music]
Over the years for me,
who is very social,
who wants all those things,
that since I'm not
having that, I'm just--
like, I feel like
I'm in solitude
and my daily thing
is waking up with the kids
and it's just--I'm--
it's boring.
It's the same thing
over and over again.
- Yeah.
There's like a window
open right now,
and I feel like you have
to just be, like,
[bleep] it
and crash through it.
BEAU:
Yeah.
TEDDY: And be, like,
no looking back.
- Let your hair down
the window, Rapunzel.
- Yeah.
[laughter]
KATIE: Yeah, when people just
talk about how difficult
being a parent is,
it just affirms
that it's just not for me.
Tom and I, like, we've
been separated or divorced now
for almost four years.
- Shut the [bleep] up.
KATIE: I know.
If I was also now sharing
a child with my ex?
Like, the dogs are
one thing 'cause, like,
those are still my babies.
TAYOR: Uh-huh.
- But, like, it's very
different than having a kid.
- I know,
I'm so grateful that
my husband and I did not
have kids together.
But also, like,
we got to do it privately.
Like, you guys had to go
through divorce on TV.
That's hard.
KATIE: Yeah.
- You got married on TV.
- Oh, my God. I forgot.
- And you got divorced on TV.
- Like, going through
relationships on TV.
- I didn't join
Vanderpump Rules
because Max was, like,
I'm not gonna do it.
Like, I can't even imagine,
like,
watching what you guys
went through and, like--
I don't know how--
- I'm amazed
I'm alive sometimes.
- I feel that way, too.
- Like, especially you,
'cause you had--
- Jax.
- Not one.
- Frank, Patrick.
- Three terrible dudes.
- I had no [bleep] control
in any of my relationships.
Frank tried to sell my sex tape
and show it to everyone.
KRISTINA: That's true, dude.
That's true.
TAYLOR:
Are you joking?
KRISTINA:
That is so [bleep] insane.
- And he would show up
at my apartment
when I was already living
in New York.
- But Jax hooked up
with your best friend.
- Beau is so lucky
I'm not more controlling.
I have to have control
over my home life.
- Have you ever dealt
with that in therapy?
- No! My God.
[clock ticking]
I don't need it.
- I'm traumatized from
being adjacent to that,
so there's no way
that you aren't maybe
carrying a little bit
of shrapnel.
[clock ticking]
[tense musical crescendo]
If there's even, like,
a shred of it
in decision-making moving
forward with you and Beau,
I think it's worth
taking a look at.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm a divorcee.
I never thought that
I would get a divorce,
so it kind of makes me
think that, like,
anybody could potentially
get a divorce.
KRISTINA:
You're not gonna be together
if you're not communicating.
And I'm worried
for Stassi and Beau
because it sounds like
they're not communicating.
- Rather than us having these
little sidebar conversations,
all of her friends need to
bring it up to her
that there are some concerns.
- I don't want to hear
anyone's thoughts.
[dramatic music]
♪
STASSI: Your housewarming
party will be fun.
- Mom and Nikolai are coming.
- Oh.
Oh.
- The things that you
said to me were horrible.
- Name them.
- You don't care.
- [gasps]
- The second that I got my shit
together, everything changed.
- Are you [bleep] kidding me?
- That was the biggest bullshit
I've ever heard in my life.
- I'm happy when he's happy.
ROB: Did you work?
- I did.
- And I want to see him happy.
He went back to work.
- How's it going?
- I still forgot to ask.
I can't sacrifice myself
for the sake of him.
- I don't want her to feel like
we're ganging up on her,
but I don't feel like
she's left us another option.
- I'm just shocked
that Rob narced me out.
- I didn't narc you out.
- You did, schoolgirl.
[bleep] my [bleep].
- When I met you in Villa,
like, I knew nothing.
And then I got home,
and then, like, social media.
And I was, like, oh.
♪
[dramatic orchestral music]
- So big of me, right?
I didn't think that I was
throwing you under the bus.
I'm sorry that you felt that.
- Yes. I need my girls
to be getting along.
- This friendship
that we have now,
like, let's just see
what that's like.
- I want to just build
from this day forward.
- This is good.
- OK, that was so [bleep] up.
You traumatize each other.
- Can I finish?
- We all traumatize each other.
- I'm not traumatizing shit.
She's incorrect. Just FYI.
- Well, um,
I get to see my girl,
Morgan Stewart,
and my husband blindsides me
for Christmas.
So 'tis this season.
[dramatic music]
♪
[suspenseful orchestral music]
STASSI:
I'm hearing things like
how Stassi has
traumatized the family.
This family is so [bleep] up.
♪
It is.
We can all agree on that.
And I have two kids that make
me want to just be, like,
I want to remove myself
from this family.
♪
- I wouldn't say
you necessarily traumatize me.
I just don't know you.
- That's true.
We don't know each other.
- You know?
Like--
- It was--
it's been really hard
to get over
everything that you texted me.
I--I actually I find it
impossible sometimes.
When my mom and I have gotten
into fights or arguments,
Nikolai has messaged
some pretty awful,
gross things to me
that were incredibly hurtful.
Like, if you are just, like,
Team Mom no matter what,
I was just, like,
yeah, I don't [bleep]
with this energy.
- And you told me, bro.
And it hurt.
You told me we were never gonna
be best friends like that.
And I was, like,
OK, so I'm not talking to you.
And I stood by that.
I didn't because I thought
you didn't want to talk to me.
- I was, what,
15 when he was born?
Our relationship
isn't that close.
Me and my siblings,
we all have different dads.
And then my Mom has
a habit of, like,
pitting my siblings against me.
There just doesn't feel like
a grounding energy force
anywhere in our family.
- I think we've all
traumatized each other.
I think I shouldn't have said
Stassi traumatizes the family.
- No. That was like a really
[bleep] thing to say, Georgi.
- Yeah, no.
It probably was, and I'm sorry.
I should have been better
with my words.
I know now not to go to Georgia
and talk about those things.
I'll go to my best friends.
When we're fighting,
I just throw things out there.
Like she does, I'll say.
Not that it's a competition
or anything, but I feel guilty.
So I just have
to take accountability
and take this right now.
- Despite everything,
I love you.
- I love you, too.
- I love you.
NIKOLAI: I love you, too.
- I love you.
GEORGIA: I love you.
- [speaks Italian] I love you.
- Thank you.
GEORGI: [speaks Italian]
- Well, I'm glad this
didn't end in full disaster.
- We got this.
Go, team.
[chuckles]
- Great meet-up. See you guys
again in two years.
[laughter]
[quirky music]
[bell rings]
- That made me like you
a little more.
NIKOLAI: [laughs] Thank you.
[laughter]
[upbeat music]
TAYLOR: Come on,
you little slowpokes.
- Come on, ladies.
- The Molasses Sisters.
That should be the name
[indistinct chatter]
[laughter]
♪
- Friendsgiving was a success.
But now that we're here,
like, we need to stay here
because my making-up battery
is on empty.
So I'm genuinely worried
for the next person
who pisses me off.
TEDDY: The older we get,
the less dysfunctional we get.
STASSI:
Well, let's hope and pray.
[peaceful music]
[stately orchestral music]
♪
Hi.
- You're getting up.
You're getting up.
- Yeah, of course.
So good to see you.
- So good to see you.
- Morgan Stewart is one of
the great talents of our time.
Started doing
Rich Kids of Beverly Hills,
that reality show,
about the same time I was
doing Vanderpump Rules.
- What are we drinking?
What time is it?
- You know what?
It's almost noon.
We both have been, like,
the "mean girl" on our
respective reality TV shows.
BOTH: Cheers.
[glasses clink]
- We both got married
at the same time.
We had kids at the same time.
We both loved
Chanel ballet flats.
[chuckles]
Are we the same person?
[bell rings]
[laughs]
Oh.
SERVER: Here we go.
So they're tuna tacos.
STASSI: Thank you.
- Did you deal with
your kids this morning?
- Yes, I dealt with my kids
this morning.
- [screaming]
- Stop talking.
Stop screaming for one second.
- [screaming]
- I, like, check out.
I'm, like, Mommy's peeing.
Mommy's peeing
for an hour and a half.
- Isn't that wild?
- It's wild.
- Like, going to the bathroom
by yourself becomes a luxury.
- Yeah. And then eventually,
they, like, find you.
STASSI: Oh, yeah.
- Or they're, like,
Daddy won't--
I'm, like, Daddy needs
to deal with it right now.
What is this?
- Oh, I forgot.
I ordered meatballs.
MORGAN:
Oh.
- We're gonna finish it
with our Manchego cheese.
- Can we do half no-cheese?
Is that OK?
SERVER: Yes, that's fine.
- Sorry.
- Oh, my God.
You don't eat cheese?
- I hate cheese.
[bell rings]
And my mom is [bleep] Swiss.
So it's, like,
fondue and everything.
- Your mom is so chic.
- She's a little nuts,
but she's pretty chic.
- You're lucky you have such
a good relationship with her.
It's, like--
- Do you have a good
relationship with your mom?
- Not really.
[quirky suspenseful music]
- What's the deal there?
- She used to be this, like,
boss bitch when
I was growing up.
MORGAN: OK.
- Like, she had to hustle.
She didn't have
that much money,
and I always was aware of that.
- OK.
STASSI: And respected it.
- Yup.
- And then when I got on
Vanderpump Rules,
she quit working.
- So you feel like she put
all the responsibility on you?
- Yes.
I just, like, have
an issue with people
who can't take care
of themselves.
- I just don't think
it's possible.
I want the rest
of my family around
for the sake of everyone.
But, like,
me, my kids and my husband,
that's, like,
really all that matters.
Once too much has happened,
too many things have been said.
I'm just, like, boundary up.
Like, you don't have
full access to my life.
It's, like, hard to even
explain because--
- Your energy
feels very serious.
- Like, I feel like when
I'm around her, I tense up.
I feel like a serial killer.
MORGAN: Right.
Do you have a therapist?
- Oh, no.
I can't.
- But no therapy at all, ever?
- I tried doing
couples therapy,
and, like,
I think it's so boring.
MORGAN: Couples?
No, couples is boring.
- It's so boring.
- What were you gonna
talk about in couples therapy?
Nothing?
- That, like, Beau needs more
physical touch or something.
I don't know.
- I would snort this drink
if I could.
I cannot with the physical.
Are you mean to Beau?
- I don't think so.
It's just, like, hard.
I think I am nice.
- There's a lot going on.
- I'm not mean.
He likes that I'm mean.
MORGAN: I know.
- So I'm sorry.
MORGAN:
That's the funniest thing.
STASSI:
He likes that I'm tough.
He likes that
he has to chase me.
- You want to be married
to him forever, right?
- Yes.
Like, no, so I'll go to therapy
or do all the things
if I need to.
- So you'll go back in a year?
- When he asks?
MORGAN: As a refresh?
- When he asks earnestly.
On days that I don't have
therapy, I wake up happy.
On days that I do have therapy,
I wake up sad.
It puts me in a shit mood.
I am working out my issues
constructively with Beau
right now, OK?
Could you imagine if
we added therapy to that
in addition to this show?
No, thankies.
I'm gonna make you throw up.
We did art therapy.
- What's art therapy?
Like, you did art together?
- Yeah, like--
like, at our house.
- I do love the sparkle
that's in your eyes.
It's, like, brighter
than it ever was before.
[soft dramatic music
slows down and stops]
[tense note]
- [bleep] off.
- I think you've done
what you need to do.
STASSI: I think so, too.
- I think that's enough.
- Wife of the year.
[laughter]
[upbeat orchestral music]
♪
- You want some beard work?
Beard dye?
I got you covered.
- I'm gonna figure that out.
- You're gonna figure it out
when you get in the chair.
- Yeah.
- I need a consultation.
- You're in good hands.
- I don't want to look,
like, you know--I start crying.
I've had an emotional week.
And I just don't want to cry
and then start dripping,
you know.
Did you think about that?
I don't know.
- [chuckling] I don't know.
- I asked Rob to meet me
at the barber shop
to get a little
beard consultation.
Uh, looking to get
back into casting,
so I really just want to look
my best when I walk back in.
I feel old, I look old.
I look like I have
a [bleep] vagina on my face
with my goatee.
- [chuckles]
- Should I go light?
Should I go darker?
Who knows?
We'll find out.
PATTY: I can keep the salt
and add just a little pepper
so that this
is not so prominent.
- OK, I want some pepper
into my salt, too.
PATTY: OK.
ROB: All right, Patty.
PATTY: All right, let's do it.
- Thank you so much.
BEAUTIFUL: Cheers.
- All right.
Well, you don't want
to see me on tequila,
you don't want to see him
on Tito's.
[clippers buzzing]
[upbeat music]
BEAU: Hold on.
I gotta look real quick.
I gotta look.
- [laughs]
- What the shit?
I look like a Vegas magician.
[laughter]
- Who's--who's the--
the tiger guys?
Sigmund and Freud.
[bell ringing]
I think I'd rather get, like,
a tattoo that's spelled, like,
the wording wrong on my chest.
I was not expecting this.
I need a bag.
Someone cut some holes out
and put a bag over my face.
I cannot walk out
looking like this.
This is--this is ridiculous.
Just had a morning with Stass
so I'm just kind of, like--
ROB: Already?
BEAU: Yeah.
Last night,
I asked my sister Georgia
if she can watch the kids
so I can at least sleep in
till 9:00 a.m.
This morning, Stassi decided
to wake me up at 8:00 a.m.
And she's been gone
the last few days
in New York
for Tell Me Lies,
so this was my one time just
to sleep in till 9:00 a.m.
My sister had everything
covered, but Stassi said no.
This morning,
Stassi's getting up
and, like, stomping around
and she storms in.
She's, like, why aren't you up?
And I'm, like, Georgia's
watching them till 9:00.
She's, like, you said 8:00.
I'm, like, I said 9:00.
And she's, like,
I have a scene to do.
And I'm like, I do too!
♪
She just walks past me
and I'm, like,
defense is up because
now I'm in trouble.
Now I'm about to apologize
for something else
that I [bleep] did that
I have no idea what's going on.
- You can't live
like that, dude.
BEAU: This will be
less of an issue.
I started, um--I reached out
to one of my old bosses
to see if I can start
working again casting,
running sessions again.
A year ago, year and a half ago
when I was working,
I [bleep] loved it.
I go to my job,
it was socializing,
I was creating,
I was working with actors.
This is--
this is what I want to do.
In the short term,
Stassi might get a little upset
that I am going back to work,
but me going back to work
makes me feel better.
So that's obviously gonna
help our relationship.
- If he's, like, yeah, I can
hire you for the next job--
- Great.
- You know,
do you go tell Stassi then?
- No, no, no. I'm gonna tell--
no, no, no.
I'm not gonna
pull a surprise on her.
- Yeah.
BEAU: That would suck.
I'm just gonna let her know.
I'm gonna be honest about it
and just say,
this is what's happening.
[quirky tense music]
I actually don't know
if I am gonna tell her.
I'm very scared of what
she'll say and do.
I'm very scared.
♪
- Of course
I'm scared of Stassi.
We'll see how it goes.
[dramatic music]
Do I look under 40 now?
- [laughs]
- Don't lie.
[stately orchestral music]
♪
- Ooh, that's a good one.
- Margarita for you.
TEDDY: Thank you so much.
TAYLOR: Thank you.
- And then here you go.
- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
SERVER: You're welcome.
TAYLOR:
Teddy is 34 weeks pregnant,
so I mean, she could, like,
literally go, like, any day.
Teddy leaves in a few days
to go back to New York City,
but I have to stay for work.
Until the last second I can.
There's so little time
for just the two of us left,
and I'm gonna miss
a big part of it.
We're gonna have, like,
a cute little date night.
And also, I really need tonight
to make sure that
Teddy's, like, fully on board
with me staying behind.
Ooh!
- Can I smell it?
- Yeah.
[upbeat music]
Oh, yeah. It's good stuff.
TAYLOR: [laughs]
- I think that's what
I want in the hospital.
- I feel like everybody wants
a margarita in the hospital.
- Anyway, are you going
to be mad if I don't cry
when I leave you
at the airport?
- You know what?
I'm not gonna cry.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, I'm good.
I'm all cried out.
- [laughs]
TAYLOR: I'm good.
- I don't believe you.
- We'll see.
- If Stass gave you the green
light and was, like, go home,
like, would you go home?
- Yes.
- So what's
keeping you here now?
- Work.
- We received an offer
from Netflix.
- [gasps]
- To be the streaming platform
of Stassi's video podcast.
- What?
Teddy and I, we've been in LA
to get STASSI with Tay,
this podcast off the ground.
But now Netflix is gonna
have the video portion
of the podcast,
like, streaming?
I cannot miss this.
But, like, I also can't miss
the birth of my child.
Stassi is not my boss,
but Stassi is kind of my boss.
And she is literally
paying me a paycheck.
If she says, we need to get
the podcast up by this date
in January,
and Netflix is on my ass--
also, I feel like Netflix
is breathing down her neck
to release at a certain time.
This is where mine and Teddy's
love is ruined forever.
Because I am staying.
Because this is my career
and I need to give it my all.
And I need to show
everybody involved
that I take this seriously,
that this is important to me.
I am happy that
we are where we are.
This is the
right timing for us.
But this is exactly
why I said,
maybe we should wait
to start trying
until after we finally
get the [bleep] green light
for the show.
I remember talking
about the concept
of House of Stassi four years
ago with Stassi and Beau
sitting around their island
in their kitchen.
The way I have been a part
of this every step of the way?
So the idea of missing out on
any bit of this process,
it's just like--
it's a flat-out no.
- I waited for 3 1/2 years.
- And I get it.
But, like,
this is [bleep] exactly why
I was trying to hold out.
Children, child, whatever,
equals money to me.
I'm our literal
financial safety net.
My dad grew up poor,
so he's always really scared
about not having money.
He transferred that fear
onto me.
I have to do everything
within my power
to keep making the bread.
- Tay has used every excuse
in the book
for me to push
getting pregnant.
It was starting
to get to the point where
I really was starting to resent
all of her excuses,
and I think she didn't
want me to resent this show.
But we waited long enough
to get pregnant.
And so her saying
I should have waited,
at this point, is just, like--
is total bullshit.
With this, while
I'm so grateful for it,
it's, like, the more we
get in the weeds with Stass
and we get on this train,
the less control
we have over our lives.
TAYLOR: Correct.
- And I [bleep] hate that.
It's like,
if they say, jump, you jump.
- Yeah.
- Is that going to be, like,
the rest of our professional
lives, is just, like, you know,
whatever Stassi says,
that's what we do?
[suspenseful music]
- I look at this through
a completely different lens.
And you've actually
never really worked.
For, like,
for a long, long time
in, like, a typical
corporate environment.
- I worked in tech
for five years and I was--
- Yes, but you
worked from home.
It's different.
Like, I've--I spent 12 years
in corporate America at Sirius.
The timing is not ideal,
but I've been doing this shit
for 20 years,
and I finally feel like
all of this is my big break.
The deal with Netflix, this
is being on House of Stassi.
Like, this stuff is major.
And I've been working
so hard for this. [sniffles]
And I finally [bleep] feel like
it's happening for me,
and now I can't even enjoy it.
- I don't want
to sound ungrateful
because I am very grateful.
I think it's just an adjustment
that I'm gonna have to make.
Just understand
where I'm coming from.
And I completely hear
where you're coming from.
And I know it's hard
to be the breadwinner
and you've had a lot
of pressure on yourself
for a long time.
It's just gonna be
an adjustment for me.
TAYLOR: I'm sick at the idea
of missing this delivery.
I think Teddy would
put on a brave face.
But I think it would make her
love me less.
Like, I just feel like
I want to throw up.
[suspenseful orchestral music]
♪
[bright festive music]
♪
- Are you ready?
Seriously, nothing makes me
happier than Christmas.
If I could live in Christmas
nine months out of the year,
that would be ideal.
Normally, I do, like,
a themed tree every year.
Now, I don't theme
the tree anymore
because I have children,
and so we do hodgepodge trees.
- [imitating festive music]
STASSI: Are we gonna do this?
Let's start with
the Victorian bulbs.
I have, like,
an open-door policy
when it comes to decorating
the house for the holidays.
So Georgi and Georgia are here.
And Katie,
she's a Christmas girl, too.
Merry Christmas.
- Smells like Christmas.
- We have different
Christmas aesthetics,
but we're equally
as passionate.
HARTFORD:
Who bought this for me?
- I did.
- I'm gonna keep it.
BEAU:
Stassi's been sick,
so I just didn't know
when was the right time
to actually tell her that
I have a job interview.
Truthfully, there's just
no good time to tell Stassi.
Yeah, I'm--I'm--
I'm screwed.
- There's nothing
better than this!
- You're doing such a good job.
[Beau clears throat]
- I'm gonna have to leave, too,
in, like, 15 minutes.
[tense music]
♪
To, uh, go see Jacob.
- To see who?
- Jacob, casting, about, uh--
- We're decorating
the Christmas tree.
What the [bleep]?
I feel fully blindsided
by this.
[dramatic music]
BEAU: I'm gonna have to leave
too, in, like, 15 minutes.
[tense music]
To, uh, go see Jacob.
- We're decorating
the Christmas tree.
HARTFORD:
What?
[tense note]
- Awkward.
I think Beau didn't want
to give Stassi a heads-up
because he didn't want to get
into an argument about it.
- Really?
BEAU: Yeah.
- OK.
- 'Cause this is the only time
that he was able to see me.
STASSI:
OK.
- It shouldn't be
too long, but--
[indistinct chatter]
I'm just gonna see if I can--
- Good job, Messer.
Yeah.
BEAU:
Get some hours in, or--
- I might look like
I'm not reacting here.
Like, inside, I'm fuming.
I'm just pretending
everything's OK for my kids.
So I'm just, like--[buzzes]
Short-circuiting.
Like, I don't know how
I'm supposed to act right now.
- Just waiting for--
- Is your beard darker?
It looks good.
[chuckles]
- I mean,
it's been a whole day.
It's, like, been over 24 hours.
[chuckles]
And you've seen my face--
- In all fairness,
I didn't see you yesterday.
I've been sick in bed.
- You didn't--
STASSI: So don't.
Don't actually do that.
Don't do that one.
- No, no, you didn't--
you didn't--you did see me.
You did see me.
Do you look at my face?
Am I here?
This is not, like, you know,
that movie where everyone
thinks the guy's alive
and you realize he's dead
and then he's just a ghost.
Is that happening to me?
Like, I am here, right?
GEORGIA:
So we are moving out today.
- How do you feel? Excited?
- Yeah, but also sad.
- I know, but you're gonna have
your own bed to sleep in now.
- Yeah, we should start,
like, finishing packing.
GEORGIA:
Yeah.
GEORGI: So we can
get everything going.
- I'm gonna actually
go get changed.
I gotta go.
- It looks like we're
moving out just in time,
'cause it does not look like
this is gonna end well.
I don't know if it's
the reality show or what,
because this level
of non-communication
is not normal for them.
- After, uh, Friendsgiving,
my mom came back here.
She wanted to give
the kids their presents
because we're not gonna
spend Christmas together.
- Oh, yeah.
- And my mom gave me
and Georgi presents
and they came in a special box.
KATIE: Special plastic bag.
No. Are those teeth?
[bell rings]
[quirky music]
These are your teeth?
[chuckles]
Dude.
I thought it was weird that
my mom has report cards
from, like, second grade.
But this is a whole
'nother level here.
Your baby teeth?
- My--
[bleep]
[bell rings]
[chuckles]
- What did Mommy said?
- I don't know.
I think it was a word.
A bad word.
- Those are baby teeth?
- Yeah.
- Should I make a necklace
for you with my baby teeth?
♪
How do you feel about Kristina?
KATIE:
I think it went really well.
- Yeah.
- Well, OK, now that, like,
everyone's on good terms again,
the band's back together,
I feel like
it'd be cute to do,
like, a girls' night.
- Yes.
- I was feeling
real uncomfortable
about my friendships
and my place here,
but I feel like we really did
get to a good place
and resolve those issues.
I just want us
to have a night out
where we just finally have fun.
- All right, I'll be back.
Um--
- Good luck.
- Yeah.
[sighs]
♪
- I know, like, our lives
are chaotic, but, like,
he didn't tell me that he was
going and having that meeting.
- Damn.
[suspenseful music]
♪
STASSI: Hey.
- Hello.
- How did that go?
- What's that?
- First of all,
why didn't you tell me?
You've talked about this
for so long.
BEAU:
Yeah.
- And then for you
to actually--[sniffles]
Take the step to do it.
And then you don't tell me
ahead of time.
- I know.
Well, maybe I just didn't--
- Just while we're decorating
for Christmas, you're like,
by the way, I'm gonna peace out
and go do this.
- I apologize.
I just also--
this is something that
I know that--that--
[Stassi sniffles]
You're one of the main reasons
why I didn't go back to work.
So I'm just kind of--
I guess I was just kind of
iffy on telling you
until I figure it out.
STASSI: Until we were
in front of everyone.
That's what it felt like.
Well, how did it go?
- It went great.
I miss it, man.
You know?
I miss being here,
miss you, miss hanging out.
I miss directing
and doing all the stuff,
working with the actors.
- I'll say not everyone
is good at that job.
You are good at it.
- Thank you.
JACOB: That's for sure.
I am happy to have you back.
- [sighs]
My man. Thank you.
So just told him my schedule
and everything seems
to work out with him.
Like, time-wise, and
the times that I'm available.
- OK.
Spouses don't keep
major life decisions
like this from each other.
But then, to like,
just do that to me
in front of my friends
and family,
it was, like,
kind of humiliating
and especially during a time
that means a lot to me.
- Tree looks great.
- I know.
[scoffs]
[sniffles]
- OK, well, it looks great.
Do you need anything?
- I mean, you haven't asked me
how I've been once.
[tense notes]
[scoffs] Like, you've
literally just ignored me.
Like, I've been
on death's door.
- Well, I haven't liked how
you were treating me yesterday.
- You had to get up one hour
earlier than you thought.
Like--
- And you know what?
I would have loved my one hour.
STASSI: Goddamn, Beau.
- What?
- You hold a grudge
for 24 [bleep] hours.
BEAU:
No.
- And you ignored me while
I've been feeling like shit.
BEAU: I'm annoyed the way--
yes, I'm not talking to you
'cause I'm really angry and
and you never want to apologize
'cause you sat there
with the door open.
- I felt so sick.
And I still do.
And you haven't given a shit.
BEAU: OK.
Well, 'cause I didn't know.
Just like you didn't
talk to me either.
- 'Cause I woke up sick!
For [bleep] sake, Beau!
BEAU:
OK.
- This is what happens
in a marriage.
BEAU:
OK.
- Sometimes someone
wakes up sick.
BEAU: OK, OK.
- Sometimes there's an issue.
BEAU:
Well, I apologize.
- And to hold it over me
for 24 hours--
- I apologize again.
You could've told me.
- 'Cause I don't feel good,
it's like [bleep] ridiculous.
BEAU: This isn't
The House of Sickness.
Everyone's [bleep] sick.
I'm sorry that you're sick.
- Thank you.
STASSI:
No, it's like--
BEAU:
I'm sorry that you're sick.
STASSI:
God.
- If you're sick
and you needed something,
you could have also told me.
We were in Italy for
Vanderpump Villa
and I had it on camera.
You can go back to work.
She said it on camera.
- You know, I've heard you.
Like, I've--I've taken in the
things that you've told me
about wanting to go back
to work and do your own thing.
So if you want to go and
do that, we will make it work.
Also, because
I secretly know that
things always work out
in my favor.
- Also, we have Sonia.
So what's the problem?
STASSI:
[sniffling]
BEAU: God damn it.
Now I'm the [bleep] asshole.
It's frustrating that I'm still
here still talking about it.
I should have just said
[bleep] it a long time ago
and had the interview.
I probably would
have been a lot happier
than I am right now.
Nothing is gonna deter me
from going back to work,
especially this argument.
I'm over it.
[dramatic music]
- [sighs]
♪
[soft upbeat music]
♪
STASSI: This?
BEAU: Donations.
- So many trucks.
But he likes them all.
- Donation.
- Why the helicopter?
- I guess
I've never seen him go--
[imitates whirring]
Donation.
- Aw.
- Donation.
STASSI: Are you thinking
about each thing?
BEAU:
No.
- Beau and I are clearing out
the kids' toys
because Christmas
is around the corner.
She's been telling me to get
rid of this Christmas Barbie,
and I'm, like, no, I like it.
It's a vintage
Christmas Barbie.
BEAU: It is.
- I'm keeping it.
But we haven't talked
about that fight
after his job interview,
and it's time to clock in
and hash it out even though
I really don't want to.
- Does she need this?
- Uh, yeah.
- OK.
STASSI: You know,
we haven't really talked about
when you came home from
the meeting with your ex-boss.
- Mm-hmm.
STASSI:
I've thought about it a lot.
It's like I want to find a way
for you to feel like
you have your own thing.
You know,
I know you're resentful, too.
[soft dramatic music]
You don't communicate with me.
I think that
you should own that
that was a choice
to wait till--
BEAU: All right.
- The last minute. Like--
- OK.
- What do you need from me
in order for you
to not be resentful?
- Um--
[clears throat]
Stop with the jokes about how
it's not making any money.
This is something that
brings some creativity
and brings some life
back into my feelings.
So I don't see
what is the issue.
- [sniffles]
- Why are you
getting emotional?
- I'm just scared. [sobs]
Like, I'm scared.
BEAU: It's literally
30 minutes after Sonia is done
that I will be back.
- I know.
But you do so much
during the day here,
and it's just, like, scary.
- How many times do I have
to say, this is not a--
STASSI:
Just don't get frustrated.
- I am frustrated.
- I'm just trying to be honest.
BEAU:
I am frustrated.
I understand that
you're honest, but it's--
STASSI: I'm wanting to do
everything to support you.
I'm just scared that I--
- That the dishes
aren't gonna be done?
STASSI: I'm so lucky that
my kids have a dad they love
so much to the point where
they prefer him over me.
Like, they're gonna grow up
with zero [bleep] daddy issues.
That's incredible.
All I've known
of our family life
is me constantly working
on things and working on things
and knowing that
you're the heart of the home.
I don't think that's crazy
for me to feel that way.
It's not about, like,
me being alone with the kids
for an extra 30 minutes
or something.
Like, that's not
the [bleep] point.
He is the heart of this place.
Growing up,
life was not stable.
And I know it wasn't for you.
Like, all I want
is stability for me,
for you, and for our kids.
[somber music]
OK?
[sniffles]
It's just so important
that I give my children
the biggest happy family
possible.
Because I feel like at times,
I had that growing up,
and at times I really didn't.
I need you to talk to me.
- OK. Well, I didn't know
that you felt like this.
I just thought
this was all about
you being alone with the kids
because they're
so hard to deal with.
- [sniffles]
No.
- And I'm not there
and that's--
- It's not about that.
It's bigger than that.
I need you to reassure me.
I need to feel like
we're a team.
And I felt really alone
the other day.
Like, that made me
feel, like, oh,
this is already
separating us.
- I didn't realize that
this was her experience
and how she feels about
me going back to work,
and I wish that, like,
I knew that before
rather than
this back-and-forth
for, you know--
[chuckles]
Like, over a year now.
I think you'll be fine.
- [sniffles]
BEAU: And I think when
I'm back and you'll be, like,
oh, I was freaking out
over nothing.
- OK. Well, I really
want you to be really happy.
[sniffles]
[soft music]
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
I know that I need to encourage
Beau to do the things he loves,
be his own person.
But, like, there's still some,
like, uncertainty around it.
I don't think it's gonna
be as easy for me
as he thinks it's gonna be.
But time will only tell.
♪
[upbeat music]
♪
STASSI: After the last couple
of days, I feel like
a girls' night
is exactly what I need.
Hello.
TAYLOR: Hi.
STASSI: Hi.
- Do you die?
STASSI:
Very Ralph Lauren.
Beau is out with
Rob, Nick, Teddy.
ALL:
Hi.
KATIE:
Hello.
BOTH:
Hi.
- Oh, cheeky chic.
- You guys, girls' night.
- Nothing says progress
like separate group hangouts.
TEDDY: Thanks for including me
on boy night.
This table's table so thin,
I feel like we're [bleep].
- Whoa.
[laughter]
Is that how it works?
BEAU: Hey.
- Is that how it [bleep] works?
- That's exactly how it works.
- Like this, sitting up?
- Yeah.
- [laughs]
- Learn something
new every day.
- Honorary lesbians.
[laughter]
TAYLOR: I am sitting here
having a panic attack.
STASSI:
Why?
TAYLOR: Teddy,
she's leaving on Saturday.
I'm staying.
I am making a decision
to stay here.
20 years of, like,
working so [bleep] hard.
And I just hope she's
telling you the truth.
- Yeah.
- That she's OK with it because
I'm just feeling, like,
really shitty about it.
- Is this the beginning,
of like, I have to work?
You know what I mean?
And, like, we have a baby now
and this is first place.
- We need to be able
to support the baby,
which is Tay's, like,
number one fear.
So it's like if she has
to do X, Y and Z
and sacrifice time from us,
I get it.
It's just, like,
this is the worst [bleep] time.
- I think that it's actually
gonna be good for you guys.
And then when you come back
and you see her,
you're gonna be feeling
really happy and healthy
that you accomplished this.
It's just gonna make
your relationship stronger.
- Who is flying back with you?
- No one.
- I'll go with you.
- You don't have to.
I have a guy picking me up
and I'll be fine.
- That doesn't sound shady.
[laughs]
- I got a guy.
NICK: I got a guy.
- I got a guy.
- I got a guy back in Jersey.
I got a guy.
[laughter]
STASSI: So can I tell you
who I met last night?
KATIE:
Yeah.
- [laughs] You're, like,
on to bigger and better.
- Kris Jenner?
- We were at the L'Oreal
Women of Worth event.
I saw that
she'd gone to the bathroom
and I was, like, I'm not
going to be that person
that follows a celebrity
into the bathroom.
So, um, uh, we waited,
like, outside.
[laughs]
- And Stassi's basically like,
Kris, I love you.
I'm such a fan.
And Kris is like, oh, stop.
Keep going.
You know how Kris be.
- You know, I can't wait till
the next time I get to meet her
when I'm probably
a little bit more normal
and, like, I will have
some more to say.
[chuckles]
I didn't even take a photo
with her.
- You didn't take a photo?
- You should have been like,
do you guys want
a photo together?
TAYLOR: Oh, facts, facts.
I should have done that.
- Why didn't you do that?
- I thought maybe a picture
would make it
way too fan-girly.
And so that, like--
you're gonna meet again.
- You could establish more
of a friendship than like--
- Correct.
KRISTINA:
Because if you took the photo,
she's gonna put you
in that category.
- You're welcome.
- You actually
might not be wrong.
- Manifest that.
Manifest that for yourself.
STASSI:
Every damn day.
- Should we cheers?
- We should cheers.
- What are we cheersing to?
To friendship, to--
- Getting outside
of your comfort zone.
- That applies to me, the baby.
So that was for me.
- Cheers!
- Cheers.
- I cheersed the first time.
- No, you didn't.
ROB:
Cheers.
- Thanks for having me out
to dinner, guys.
- Cheers.
- Of course.
TEDDY:
Yeah.
ROB: How did your interview go?
- Good.
NICK: You're on the job hunt
right now?
- No, I went back
to one of my old bosses
that I worked for,
like, almost two years ago.
- What did he say?
- He said yeah.
So I'm just waiting on--
TEDDY: It would be,
like, part-time?
BEAU:
Yeah.
- How did Stass
take your meeting?
- We were tree-decorating,
and I was, like, all right,
so, um,
I'm gonna run out in 15.
Um--
- I'm sure she loved that.
- Oh, wait.
NICK: You just dropped that?
- You just,
"I'm going for the milk"
dad-ed them?
BEAU:
Yeah.
- I guess we need cigarettes.
I'll be right back.
- You set yourself up
for failure.
[bell rings]
STASSI: It's like,
you could have told me this
any other day,
and you're telling me this
right at the moment that--
I'm, like,
family decorating time.
BEAU: I didn't tell her 'cause
every time I do talk to her
about it, she gets angry.
- Now that you did the meeting,
how is Stass taking it all?
- We talked this morning.
It was a very strange reaction
that I wasn't expecting.
It was intense.
You're acting like
I'm literally going to
another country for three
months to do a casting of--
of small villagers
of a rural Romanian--
- We now know what Beau
wants to do.
- You know,
a vampire cult or something.
I definitely prefer
communicating
with Stassi this way.
It's vulnerable and it doesn't
feel like it's an attack
or belittling
how I feel about,
you know, my career
and things that I wanna do.
I'm like, I wish
she would talk to me
like this more often.
It was just such
a different thing. It was wild.
STASSI: All I've known of the
last few five years of my life
is what we've built.
Beau does so much
for our family
in such a great way that, like,
it's a lot to live up to.
It's a lot of things that I--
I don't have the gift for.
If Beau went back to work,
I would have to start
bringing Hartford to school.
I would have to start
packing her lunches,
making their dinner.
I can't cook dinner.
I know I can technically, like,
do anything I set my mind to.
But, like, can I?
I don't know.
So, like, this is scary that,
like, it would change.
KRISTINA: Nothing's broken.
Why are we trying to--but--
- Yeah.
- Tay and I have
talked about this
and I've known you for,
like, almost a decade.
You are the most fun,
the most vibrant person
who walks into the room.
And I feel like
over the past few years,
I haven't seen that as much.
I just want to see
the old Beau back.
- Yeah.
- You know?
I want to see, like, fun,
happy, vibrant guy that I met.
ROB:
I second that.
When you're cognitively going,
OK, I need something
to shift in my own life,
and then somebody saying,
I'm not letting you do that
TEDDY:
Yeah.
- And it's your most important
person in the world--
- Oh, yeah, that's--
that's frustrating.
- I don't think Stassi
has ever had a safe space.
And Beau represents
that safe space.
I think knowing that she has
somewhere to come back to
that's normal,
that's predictable,
is kind of all that she wants.
But at least you
got there to a point
where she's actually
starting to tell you
what the real shit is.
She's not angry you're going
back to work, she's scared.
- I can feel for Beau.
Max is more the breadwinner.
You're more the breadwinner.
Like, it feels more about
Max and his schedule
and what he has going on.
And, like, I feel like
I have to ask, like,
can I take a shower?
My time away is, like,
going grocery shopping.
So I think that
when I do ask more of him
and it shifts his schedule,
I have this sense of, like,
he's gonna be mad at me.
He's gonna resent me.
Like, all that stuff
builds up
and it's almost
just not worth it.
And I'm, like, I'm just not
even going to bring it up.
STASSI: When I hear Kristina
talk about this,
I have a little
more empathy for Beau,
but in no way am I like,
now, what can I take on?
No. We do have a nanny.
Like, Beau does get to leave
the house and live his life.
I feel like two weeks ago,
he just, like,
went midday and saw a movie.
Like, come on.
- When we say we feel like
your lights have been dimmed
or you've--it's felt different,
like, do you agree with that?
- I think that's--
that's pretty spot-on.
I feel like I just haven't
felt like myself
probably in
the last five years.
There's just something
that is missing
where I do feel
a little hollow inside
and I don't know
what to do about it.
[dramatic music]
- When we say we feel like
your lights have been dimmed
or you've--
it's felt different,
like, do you agree with that?
- I think that's--
that's pretty spot-on.
[dramatic music]
Over the years for me,
who is very social,
who wants all those things,
that since I'm not
having that, I'm just--
like, I feel like
I'm in solitude
and my daily thing
is waking up with the kids
and it's just--I'm--
it's boring.
It's the same thing
over and over again.
- Yeah.
There's like a window
open right now,
and I feel like you have
to just be, like,
[bleep] it
and crash through it.
BEAU:
Yeah.
TEDDY: And be, like,
no looking back.
- Let your hair down
the window, Rapunzel.
- Yeah.
[laughter]
KATIE: Yeah, when people just
talk about how difficult
being a parent is,
it just affirms
that it's just not for me.
Tom and I, like, we've
been separated or divorced now
for almost four years.
- Shut the [bleep] up.
KATIE: I know.
If I was also now sharing
a child with my ex?
Like, the dogs are
one thing 'cause, like,
those are still my babies.
TAYOR: Uh-huh.
- But, like, it's very
different than having a kid.
- I know,
I'm so grateful that
my husband and I did not
have kids together.
But also, like,
we got to do it privately.
Like, you guys had to go
through divorce on TV.
That's hard.
KATIE: Yeah.
- You got married on TV.
- Oh, my God. I forgot.
- And you got divorced on TV.
- Like, going through
relationships on TV.
- I didn't join
Vanderpump Rules
because Max was, like,
I'm not gonna do it.
Like, I can't even imagine,
like,
watching what you guys
went through and, like--
I don't know how--
- I'm amazed
I'm alive sometimes.
- I feel that way, too.
- Like, especially you,
'cause you had--
- Jax.
- Not one.
- Frank, Patrick.
- Three terrible dudes.
- I had no [bleep] control
in any of my relationships.
Frank tried to sell my sex tape
and show it to everyone.
KRISTINA: That's true, dude.
That's true.
TAYLOR:
Are you joking?
KRISTINA:
That is so [bleep] insane.
- And he would show up
at my apartment
when I was already living
in New York.
- But Jax hooked up
with your best friend.
- Beau is so lucky
I'm not more controlling.
I have to have control
over my home life.
- Have you ever dealt
with that in therapy?
- No! My God.
[clock ticking]
I don't need it.
- I'm traumatized from
being adjacent to that,
so there's no way
that you aren't maybe
carrying a little bit
of shrapnel.
[clock ticking]
[tense musical crescendo]
If there's even, like,
a shred of it
in decision-making moving
forward with you and Beau,
I think it's worth
taking a look at.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm a divorcee.
I never thought that
I would get a divorce,
so it kind of makes me
think that, like,
anybody could potentially
get a divorce.
KRISTINA:
You're not gonna be together
if you're not communicating.
And I'm worried
for Stassi and Beau
because it sounds like
they're not communicating.
- Rather than us having these
little sidebar conversations,
all of her friends need to
bring it up to her
that there are some concerns.
- I don't want to hear
anyone's thoughts.
[dramatic music]
♪
STASSI: Your housewarming
party will be fun.
- Mom and Nikolai are coming.
- Oh.
Oh.
- The things that you
said to me were horrible.
- Name them.
- You don't care.
- [gasps]
- The second that I got my shit
together, everything changed.
- Are you [bleep] kidding me?
- That was the biggest bullshit
I've ever heard in my life.
- I'm happy when he's happy.
ROB: Did you work?
- I did.
- And I want to see him happy.
He went back to work.
- How's it going?
- I still forgot to ask.
I can't sacrifice myself
for the sake of him.
- I don't want her to feel like
we're ganging up on her,
but I don't feel like
she's left us another option.
- I'm just shocked
that Rob narced me out.
- I didn't narc you out.
- You did, schoolgirl.
[bleep] my [bleep].
- When I met you in Villa,
like, I knew nothing.
And then I got home,
and then, like, social media.
And I was, like, oh.
♪