It Gets Worse (2026) s01e06 Episode Script
People Team
1
Fuck. Fuck! Massive fucking cock
inside you, yeah?
Yeah, yeah. Oh, feel good, yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, that feels amazing.
Actually, wait.
Jesse, wait. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
NARRATOR: The past is simple
because it's over.
I'm an Adonis.
You go to the gym the whole time.
I've never been there.
Yeah! You're a little bitch.
You're my little bitch.
It's really It's SO in me.
OK, wait. OK, wait.
Yeah, uh, let's flip.
Let's flip over.
Looking back, they could see each
other's lives with total clarity.
They could see themselves
as separate objects.
It was chain-free. Mm. So
Do you know what chain-free means?
Yeah. So it meant the closing
was really easy. Mm.
It's open-plan. I'm going for
a sort of Scandi vibe -
like hygge.
Do you know what hygge means?
Hey, what about you?
Where do you come from, hmm?
IMITATING IRISH ACCENT: Do I detect
a slight Irish accent there?
Uh, close. I'm from Liverpool. Oh.
Never had cause to go.
Mm. Yeah. Do you miss it?
Yeah. Yeah, all the time.
Aw!
You've got nice friends down here, though?
Yeah, yeah.
You should buy a house.
MUFFLED: Mm!
But every ending is a false one.
Nothing is ever over.
Oh, fuck, Tess.
Oh, fuck.
The future remains full of endless,
insufferable potential.
SHE MOANS
People are not objects.
They are not separate.
Does anyone want a turmeric shot?
Huh?
SHE MOANS
KNOCK ON DOOR
Sorry, one second.
Even though their lives were some of
the easiest
in recorded human history
FROM OUTSIDE: Hurry up, please.
This is the best Hinge date ever.
Tell me I'm fit.
Yeah, you're so fit. Yeah.
The fundamental, unsolvable
question remained the same.
Yeah, yeah! Oh, fuck, fuck!
I'm gonna come.
Yeah, yeah, come in me.
JESSE CHUCKLES
Yeah! I love cum. I'm gonna come.
You should do it.
It's been dispatched. Oh, fuck.
I'm gonna come. I'm gonna
I'm gonna come!
JESSE MOANS FORCEFULLY
Oh, Jesus Christ. OK.
What the fuck was going to happen?
Was that really your
first time bottoming? Mm.
I always thought that was a lie.
Why would I lie about that?
I don't know.
I never really understood
why you do anything.
I'm really
really glad
I ran into you tonight.
Never seen you at Slutpig before.
Who were you out with?
I was just there by myself.
Oh, that's so cool.
ETHAN CHUCKLES
Well, I'm I'm glad I saw you.
You know, I've been
I guess I've been thinking a lot
about your, uh big dick.
Is it big, genuinely?
Do you want to stay?
Maybe we can get some breakfast.
Uh, no.
I'm actually doing this thing at the
moment where I have, like,
five iced coffees during the day
and then just eat everything
in my fridge like one big meal,
like a snake, so
How about we, uh
We spoon for a little bit? Mm?
Um, I should go.
I think Roger's probably waiting
for me, so
Who's Roger?
Sam is waiting for you, Jake.
I'll be down in a sec!
So, are we going to start, or?
Yeah.
SAM CLEARS THROA
So, this is going
to be our last session, obviously.
Uh, and after a lot of thought
and consideration,
I've decided that I'm not going
to tell your parents about
what you said to me,
or that you came to my reading,
which really crossed
a professional boundary, actually.
So, yeah,
you don't need to worry about that.
Um
but, yeah,
I think it's best that we part ways.
OK, makes sense.
Yeah, makes sense.
I asked Samira out.
Who's Samira?
Samira, the girl I've been telling
you about.
Do you not listen to me at all?
Sorry! OK.
Anyway, I was, uh, vulnerable
or whatever.
I told her that
I really liked her and that
whenever I talk to her,
it feels like she really gets me.
Um
and that she's the fittest girl
in our year.
And then And then I asked her
if she wanted
to go to the cinema with me.
Jake, what?! That's amazing!
Oh, my God!
Like, look at you! What did she say?
She called me an incel cuck
and told me to fuck off.
Oh, my God, she sounds like
a stupid fucking bitch.
You You really shouldn't
say that, you know?
SARAH FROM DOWNSTAIRS:
Ethan, I can't hear any packing!
ETHAN SIGHS
Oh, my God! Fuck! Hey!
Um, hi. Hi.
Hey. How you doing?
Yeah, good. What?!
Uh, what are you?
Sorry, what are you?
What's happening?
Your mum let me in.
Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
No-one should have to speak to her.
No, she's so nice.
Yeah, she called me
Called me handsome, so
Oh, well,
we have a really similar type, so
I don't want to suck off my dad.
That's not what I was
saying.
You two have been like
literal angels from heaven.
We have been so lucky to have you.
Like, this place would literally
fall apart without you.
But, like, at the same time,
it wouldn't.
And that's kind of the point.
But you said it was
voluntary redundancy.
Mm-hm. A volunteer once more!
It's like the Lib Dem conference
all over again.
I don't
I don't want to volunteer.
Sweetie, I'm saying this to you
as a friend and a confidante.
I'm saying this to you as a fellow
badass white woman
with zero fucks left to give.
Volunteer.
When I got a DUI, I volunteered
for community service.
Zero jail time.
Best decision I ever made.
But I don't volunteer, though.
Volunteer!
No, I don't want to.
Because we're a massively
additive component to this team.
It's an efficiency measure, babe.
It's an efficiency measure,
and she can't do anything about it.
She's really, really sorry. Well,
I don't care if it's efficient.
It's going to make this
whole fucking company hollow,
and you're going to turn away even
the most talented of candidates.
Because of what?
You're going to save
some money up front?
And actually,
it will affect your bottom line, OK?
Because you can't get rid of
the people team
because your whole fucking business
is people!
OK, firstly
whatever you just did when
your accent got all just like
IMITATING SCOUSE ACCENT:
Oh, my God,
you can't outsource the people team!
You can never
That's the energy I've
been missing, honestly.
What an honour to be privy
to that speech.
You need a therapist. Yeah.
And you're going to have to
volunteer.
OK.
AARON:
You haven't responded to my texts.
Yeah, sorry.
I've been really busy.
I'm trying to find somewhere
to live on SpareRoom,
but you have to do all these
interviews with the other flatmates.
Like, I don't know, I feel
like my personality
doesn't come across that well
in situations where I have to
Well, in situations.
Should we talk about the other week?
Mm-hm.
Yeah.
I
I guess I just don't know
what you think about me.
And I think I found that really hot
for a while,
but I don't think I find it
that hot any more.
What are you asking me?
What do you want me to say?
I want you to say that you like me.
I want you to like me.
I don't know what you mean by that.
Look, you're lucky.
Not everyone knows himself
this well.
Not everyone knows exactly
who they are.
I don't know who I am.
You're not the only confused person.
You know that, right?
So this is fucked now?
We can't be friends?
Aaron, if I stopped talking to
everyone who hurt my feelings,
I wouldn't have any fucking friends.
Because I'm really oversensitive
and everyone I know is a cunt.
AARON CHUCKLES SOFTLY
You know, you've actually helped me.
You've made me think a lot
about myself.
I've got to pack up my shit
and, uh
And post a letter.
So
Uh, I'll see you soon, though.
Yeah, yeah, that'd be nice.
Cool.
Oh, are you off? I'm off now.
Aw, that's Jesus Christ!
Nice to see you.
Yeah, it's so nice to see you.
You're very tall, aren't you?
Yeah, yeah.
What sort of height are you?
6'2 ". Gosh, 6'2"!
KNOCK ON DOOR
Hey, stranger.
Hey, how's it going?
Hey. Yeah, good, good.
So, we
have news.
Tess is moving in.
So me and Zaz were thinking
Zaz.
Well, if you were open to it, um,
that we could
you know, give us a chance.
And then, if it works out,
we can make it official.
Wait, sorry. I'm so sorry.
Wait, what are you guys, like?
What do you mean?
Oh, so we would be each
other's primary partners, right?
And then you would be the secondary.
I wouldn't have phrased
it like that.
Oh, sorry. It's just that you
thumbs-upped the message I sent you,
so I thought that's
what we were going for.
We'd divide up the days.
Uh, we'd have three days of the week
with each other.
We'd have two days.
You guys would have one day.
And then one day to really just,
you know, chill out,
maybe check in with each other,
kind of hang out with other people.
We've actually already
started making a list of boundaries.
Um, let me get that. So
OK, a boundary for me is
that I need to be able
to look through your phone.
It's just something that I need
because I had an ex
who started
a reading group without me,
and I have real trust issues
because of that.
And then my next boundary
is actually dairy-related.
Can I interrupt you there?
Sorry. Of course!
Is dairy a sticking point for you?
Can you both get the fuck
out of my room?
What?
I'm going to move out.
What? To where?
Yeah, fuck knows, but, uh,
can you go, actually?
I'm in the middle of something.
I'm writing something.
What are you writing?
Nothing.
It's none of your business.
Can you please get the fuck
out of my room?
Yeah, sorry.
Great.
ETHAN CHUCKLES SOFTLY
Jesus Christ. What is?
It's an easy peeler.
OK.
SARAH SIGHS
Well, he seemed Is he your?
Nope. No.
No.
SARAH GROANS SOFTLY
Right, I'm going to run you a bath.
I don't want a bath!
No, you're having a bath
with bubbles!
LOU: So where are we celebrating
later?
Could meet a couple of my friends
round the corner.
They're called Slug and Lettuce.
Lou, you just got made redundant.
My bestie just got promoted!
You're such an orator.
Sounded like Rory effing Stewart.
Excuse my French!
ABI CHUCKLES
Thank you. Besides
fresh start's good for me.
No job, lease on my flat's ending,
my Railcard's expired.
Hello, square one, my old friend!
How have you been?
Still square, is it?
Still an even-sided quadrilateral?
Same here.
MOBILE PHONE PINGS
Still Louise. Always will be.
Blessing and a curse.
VOICE NOTE:
Hey, guys, it's been a minute.
I've written this thing that, um
Like, read it, OK?
Love you. Miss you.
MOBILE PHONE PINGS
A fucking PDF?! Oh, my God.
Every ending is a false one.
What seems like the end
is always just another beginning.
Not a finish line
"But a marker in the sand that says
as much about how far you've come"
"as it does about how much road"
"continues to stretch on
in front of you."
Hmm.
Yeah,
that kind of stuff loses me a bit.
I'm sorry, it's giving poem -
in a derogatory sense.
ABI SNIGGERS
I like it!
I feel like it's really romantic.
Like, it makes all the really
boring stuff that's happened,
like, feel special.
Thank you, Abi!
Yeah, I do feel like
I come off the worst, though.
No, I come off the worst.
No, no, no! I am the worst!
That's the whole point of the thing.
Also, my great-grandparents weren't
refugees! You know that. Well
Yeah, you kind of make it sound like
I grew up in a coal mine.
Like, I'm not Billy Elliot.
My mum and dad had a car each.
Like, they were shit cars,
but there was
There was two of them.
OK, you're both being
so literal with it.
It's poetic licence, OK?
Not everything that is true
needs to be true.
What?!
ABI SNIGGERS
I I got a promotion.
Oh, that's great! Oh, my God!
I'm Head of People.
Oh, really sinister title.
Absolutely terrifying words
you're saying to me.
Yeah, I just didn't care.
What do you mean?
I just didn't care at all.
I felt like
Like I wanted to celebrate
or tell people or even just be like,
"Look at me!"
But, like, I didn't have anyone to
tell and no-one was looking, so
Mm.
Hey, to the Head of People!
To the Head of People!
I got a job too.
SAM GASPS
Yes! I am
the receptionist at my dad's office.
Ooh! It's like a very,
very sad nepo baby.
Yeah, well, at least now I don't
have to feel guilty
when my dad gives me money.
You don't even feel guilty
when I give you money!
THEY ALL LAUGH
I also broke up with Tom.
Yes! What?! Oh, my God!
Yes! Yes! Ethan!
How are you? Are you OK?
I know you really loved him.
I mean, maybe you loved
the idea of him, right?
A 32-year-old man
who tracks his step count?
I hate the idea of him.
I knew you looked
a little breakdowny -
with the make-up and the hair.
Did you get a perm or something?
No comment!
Yeah, you look really fit.
Thank you.
I'd fuck you. Thank you. Mm-hm.
But, I mean, then again,
I also would fuck my ex again
and my ex's new partner.
No. Also, the guy
that my best friend has a crush on.
So the bar is pretty low
at this point.
Should we, like?
Should we talk about that?
Sucked him off while he watched
lesbian porn on his phone.
Oh, fuck. Lesbian?!
But you're a man!
Thank you for saying that.
Eyes, eyes, eyes!
Oh, my God, guys, I think
that guy's flirting with me.
I think that guy's dead.
Jealous!
Every ending is a false one.
What seems like the end
is always just another beginning.
The future remains full of endless,
insufferable potential -
the potential to learn
from mistakes,
to make better choices,
the potential to heal,
grow and change.
You can just do coke in here.
It's Abi's room.
MUSIC: Freaky by Qemists Scores
All you need to do is eat better
and go to the gym more.
Because you're not fat,
you're skinny-fat.
Thank you. I just think you're like,
"Fuck everyone!"
Like, that's the vibe, right? Yeah.
It's like a statement.
Yeah, definitely. You wanna look
like shit. Definitely.
That's exactly what I'm going for.
I'm just going to get a drink.
Sorry, sorry! I just get this sense
that, because of globalisation,
there's no new culture any more,
you know?
When were you last in a culture
that felt genuinely new?
Well, I was in Mannie last week -
Manchester.
Did you know they have trams? Sick!
Wow. Yeah,
it reminded me of Barcelona.
Mm. Really?
Put a pin in that.
I want to hear about it.
Oh, Roger! So nice to see you!
Thanks for coming.
It made me think, like, did somebody
put the duckling up there,
or did he make his way onto the pig
under his own steam?
This is hysterical!
It's an unbelievable image
you're showing to me right now.
I wonder what they even talk about.
Yeah, God knows!
Yeah, I could send you the link,
if you wanted.
Yeah! We could exchange digits,
maybe, or something.
Yes, I would love that!
Yes, please!
Um, yeah, I'll give you all the
numbers I know.
Ethan. What? Come here.
Why are you looking at me like that?
I thought you were trying
to be low-maintenance this month.
Why are people doing coke in my
room? They're doing coke everywhere.
It's a party!
It's called having a laugh.
Relax! Hi! Hello.
Tom's here.
Yeah, you invited him. Yep.
I'm a grown-up. Go in there, have a
shot and some mushrooms, OK?
So you're a fuck boy?
I'm not a fuck boy.
But you're still sleeping
with Tess behind Zara's back.
You're a fuck boy. Yeah, they're
open! Are they? Yeah
No!
Whoo! Woohoo! Party, party!
Wish me luck.
Whoo!
Right, so they're not.
Do you want to stay
at the grown-up party or not?
Good. Can I do some shrooms?
SAM SIGHS Fine, but no coke.
It's nice
that you're back together again.
Is it OK that I brought Jess? Mm!
Oh, my God, yeah.
No, I'm obsessed with her.
She's, um She's great.
I really like how loud her voice is.
Have you met Lucas yet?
Stalin gets this really bad rap
because of the gulags
and all the murders and stuff,
but really, it was the USSR that
Yeah, I haven't had a chance to talk
to him yet, but he seems
really tall.
I'm really glad you came. It's
I love that we're still friends.
Yeah.
It feels really, like, grown-up.
Yeah, me too.
Just because we're not together
doesn't mean
Yeah.
Tom!
Tom, babe, they've got balloons!
Should we do a balloon?
Yeah!
TOM CHUCKLES
Sick, yeah.
Mademoiselle.
Need topping up, don't you?
LAUGHING: Yeah.
Thirsty girl.
ABI LAUGHS
Hey, handsome. Ethan!
The three of you back together.
Sick! Thanks.
It feels good. It feels right,
you know?
Yeah! Feels good. That's good.
Uh, yeah, anyway, I have the most
insane news.
I wanted to tell you first because,
obviously, you've been, like,
a big part of my journey.
What is it?
ETHAN CHUCKLES
I'm bisexual.
Definitely.
I like guys.
Yeah, I
ETHAN CHUCKLES
I kind of assumed you
might just because of what
Yeah, but it's because I just
started seeing this guy,
and I think I really like him.
Wow! That is so amaz
To see a guy is amazing.
I mean, some of us can only
To see a guy - come on!
I know! That's, um
He's coming here tonight.
He's coming here?!
Yeah! You're going to love him.
He's coming?!
He actually reminds me a bit of you.
That's great. That's so nice.
That's lovely to
That That feels great to hear.
Thanks, man.
I'm going to go chuck these
in the fridge.
Yeah, have an amazing
And I'll chat to you after, yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go get fucked up.
Sam, problem. Party's over!
Ethan! Yeah? The police are here!
The what?!
Police are here! Fuck, thank God.
What the fuck was going to happen?
It was impossible to know.
Everyone, shush,
the police are here!
Get out! Fuck off! Take this!
Go! Go away!
They had their suspicions, though.
They suspected.
They suspected
that the possibilities
would slowly fall away.
That they would,
in fact, achieve exactly nothing
in their lives.
That they would not heal or grow
or change.
That they would be forced to watch,
powerless and confused,
as the world crumbled
in slow motion around them.
They suspected that this
was the best it would ever get.
It wouldn't be
until many years later
that they would be able to look back
and say with absolute certainty
ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC
that the suspicion
SPEAKER: Low battery.
Was right.
Oh, fuck everything!
Fuck. Fuck! Massive fucking cock
inside you, yeah?
Yeah, yeah. Oh, feel good, yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, that feels amazing.
Actually, wait.
Jesse, wait. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
NARRATOR: The past is simple
because it's over.
I'm an Adonis.
You go to the gym the whole time.
I've never been there.
Yeah! You're a little bitch.
You're my little bitch.
It's really It's SO in me.
OK, wait. OK, wait.
Yeah, uh, let's flip.
Let's flip over.
Looking back, they could see each
other's lives with total clarity.
They could see themselves
as separate objects.
It was chain-free. Mm. So
Do you know what chain-free means?
Yeah. So it meant the closing
was really easy. Mm.
It's open-plan. I'm going for
a sort of Scandi vibe -
like hygge.
Do you know what hygge means?
Hey, what about you?
Where do you come from, hmm?
IMITATING IRISH ACCENT: Do I detect
a slight Irish accent there?
Uh, close. I'm from Liverpool. Oh.
Never had cause to go.
Mm. Yeah. Do you miss it?
Yeah. Yeah, all the time.
Aw!
You've got nice friends down here, though?
Yeah, yeah.
You should buy a house.
MUFFLED: Mm!
But every ending is a false one.
Nothing is ever over.
Oh, fuck, Tess.
Oh, fuck.
The future remains full of endless,
insufferable potential.
SHE MOANS
People are not objects.
They are not separate.
Does anyone want a turmeric shot?
Huh?
SHE MOANS
KNOCK ON DOOR
Sorry, one second.
Even though their lives were some of
the easiest
in recorded human history
FROM OUTSIDE: Hurry up, please.
This is the best Hinge date ever.
Tell me I'm fit.
Yeah, you're so fit. Yeah.
The fundamental, unsolvable
question remained the same.
Yeah, yeah! Oh, fuck, fuck!
I'm gonna come.
Yeah, yeah, come in me.
JESSE CHUCKLES
Yeah! I love cum. I'm gonna come.
You should do it.
It's been dispatched. Oh, fuck.
I'm gonna come. I'm gonna
I'm gonna come!
JESSE MOANS FORCEFULLY
Oh, Jesus Christ. OK.
What the fuck was going to happen?
Was that really your
first time bottoming? Mm.
I always thought that was a lie.
Why would I lie about that?
I don't know.
I never really understood
why you do anything.
I'm really
really glad
I ran into you tonight.
Never seen you at Slutpig before.
Who were you out with?
I was just there by myself.
Oh, that's so cool.
ETHAN CHUCKLES
Well, I'm I'm glad I saw you.
You know, I've been
I guess I've been thinking a lot
about your, uh big dick.
Is it big, genuinely?
Do you want to stay?
Maybe we can get some breakfast.
Uh, no.
I'm actually doing this thing at the
moment where I have, like,
five iced coffees during the day
and then just eat everything
in my fridge like one big meal,
like a snake, so
How about we, uh
We spoon for a little bit? Mm?
Um, I should go.
I think Roger's probably waiting
for me, so
Who's Roger?
Sam is waiting for you, Jake.
I'll be down in a sec!
So, are we going to start, or?
Yeah.
SAM CLEARS THROA
So, this is going
to be our last session, obviously.
Uh, and after a lot of thought
and consideration,
I've decided that I'm not going
to tell your parents about
what you said to me,
or that you came to my reading,
which really crossed
a professional boundary, actually.
So, yeah,
you don't need to worry about that.
Um
but, yeah,
I think it's best that we part ways.
OK, makes sense.
Yeah, makes sense.
I asked Samira out.
Who's Samira?
Samira, the girl I've been telling
you about.
Do you not listen to me at all?
Sorry! OK.
Anyway, I was, uh, vulnerable
or whatever.
I told her that
I really liked her and that
whenever I talk to her,
it feels like she really gets me.
Um
and that she's the fittest girl
in our year.
And then And then I asked her
if she wanted
to go to the cinema with me.
Jake, what?! That's amazing!
Oh, my God!
Like, look at you! What did she say?
She called me an incel cuck
and told me to fuck off.
Oh, my God, she sounds like
a stupid fucking bitch.
You You really shouldn't
say that, you know?
SARAH FROM DOWNSTAIRS:
Ethan, I can't hear any packing!
ETHAN SIGHS
Oh, my God! Fuck! Hey!
Um, hi. Hi.
Hey. How you doing?
Yeah, good. What?!
Uh, what are you?
Sorry, what are you?
What's happening?
Your mum let me in.
Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
No-one should have to speak to her.
No, she's so nice.
Yeah, she called me
Called me handsome, so
Oh, well,
we have a really similar type, so
I don't want to suck off my dad.
That's not what I was
saying.
You two have been like
literal angels from heaven.
We have been so lucky to have you.
Like, this place would literally
fall apart without you.
But, like, at the same time,
it wouldn't.
And that's kind of the point.
But you said it was
voluntary redundancy.
Mm-hm. A volunteer once more!
It's like the Lib Dem conference
all over again.
I don't
I don't want to volunteer.
Sweetie, I'm saying this to you
as a friend and a confidante.
I'm saying this to you as a fellow
badass white woman
with zero fucks left to give.
Volunteer.
When I got a DUI, I volunteered
for community service.
Zero jail time.
Best decision I ever made.
But I don't volunteer, though.
Volunteer!
No, I don't want to.
Because we're a massively
additive component to this team.
It's an efficiency measure, babe.
It's an efficiency measure,
and she can't do anything about it.
She's really, really sorry. Well,
I don't care if it's efficient.
It's going to make this
whole fucking company hollow,
and you're going to turn away even
the most talented of candidates.
Because of what?
You're going to save
some money up front?
And actually,
it will affect your bottom line, OK?
Because you can't get rid of
the people team
because your whole fucking business
is people!
OK, firstly
whatever you just did when
your accent got all just like
IMITATING SCOUSE ACCENT:
Oh, my God,
you can't outsource the people team!
You can never
That's the energy I've
been missing, honestly.
What an honour to be privy
to that speech.
You need a therapist. Yeah.
And you're going to have to
volunteer.
OK.
AARON:
You haven't responded to my texts.
Yeah, sorry.
I've been really busy.
I'm trying to find somewhere
to live on SpareRoom,
but you have to do all these
interviews with the other flatmates.
Like, I don't know, I feel
like my personality
doesn't come across that well
in situations where I have to
Well, in situations.
Should we talk about the other week?
Mm-hm.
Yeah.
I
I guess I just don't know
what you think about me.
And I think I found that really hot
for a while,
but I don't think I find it
that hot any more.
What are you asking me?
What do you want me to say?
I want you to say that you like me.
I want you to like me.
I don't know what you mean by that.
Look, you're lucky.
Not everyone knows himself
this well.
Not everyone knows exactly
who they are.
I don't know who I am.
You're not the only confused person.
You know that, right?
So this is fucked now?
We can't be friends?
Aaron, if I stopped talking to
everyone who hurt my feelings,
I wouldn't have any fucking friends.
Because I'm really oversensitive
and everyone I know is a cunt.
AARON CHUCKLES SOFTLY
You know, you've actually helped me.
You've made me think a lot
about myself.
I've got to pack up my shit
and, uh
And post a letter.
So
Uh, I'll see you soon, though.
Yeah, yeah, that'd be nice.
Cool.
Oh, are you off? I'm off now.
Aw, that's Jesus Christ!
Nice to see you.
Yeah, it's so nice to see you.
You're very tall, aren't you?
Yeah, yeah.
What sort of height are you?
6'2 ". Gosh, 6'2"!
KNOCK ON DOOR
Hey, stranger.
Hey, how's it going?
Hey. Yeah, good, good.
So, we
have news.
Tess is moving in.
So me and Zaz were thinking
Zaz.
Well, if you were open to it, um,
that we could
you know, give us a chance.
And then, if it works out,
we can make it official.
Wait, sorry. I'm so sorry.
Wait, what are you guys, like?
What do you mean?
Oh, so we would be each
other's primary partners, right?
And then you would be the secondary.
I wouldn't have phrased
it like that.
Oh, sorry. It's just that you
thumbs-upped the message I sent you,
so I thought that's
what we were going for.
We'd divide up the days.
Uh, we'd have three days of the week
with each other.
We'd have two days.
You guys would have one day.
And then one day to really just,
you know, chill out,
maybe check in with each other,
kind of hang out with other people.
We've actually already
started making a list of boundaries.
Um, let me get that. So
OK, a boundary for me is
that I need to be able
to look through your phone.
It's just something that I need
because I had an ex
who started
a reading group without me,
and I have real trust issues
because of that.
And then my next boundary
is actually dairy-related.
Can I interrupt you there?
Sorry. Of course!
Is dairy a sticking point for you?
Can you both get the fuck
out of my room?
What?
I'm going to move out.
What? To where?
Yeah, fuck knows, but, uh,
can you go, actually?
I'm in the middle of something.
I'm writing something.
What are you writing?
Nothing.
It's none of your business.
Can you please get the fuck
out of my room?
Yeah, sorry.
Great.
ETHAN CHUCKLES SOFTLY
Jesus Christ. What is?
It's an easy peeler.
OK.
SARAH SIGHS
Well, he seemed Is he your?
Nope. No.
No.
SARAH GROANS SOFTLY
Right, I'm going to run you a bath.
I don't want a bath!
No, you're having a bath
with bubbles!
LOU: So where are we celebrating
later?
Could meet a couple of my friends
round the corner.
They're called Slug and Lettuce.
Lou, you just got made redundant.
My bestie just got promoted!
You're such an orator.
Sounded like Rory effing Stewart.
Excuse my French!
ABI CHUCKLES
Thank you. Besides
fresh start's good for me.
No job, lease on my flat's ending,
my Railcard's expired.
Hello, square one, my old friend!
How have you been?
Still square, is it?
Still an even-sided quadrilateral?
Same here.
MOBILE PHONE PINGS
Still Louise. Always will be.
Blessing and a curse.
VOICE NOTE:
Hey, guys, it's been a minute.
I've written this thing that, um
Like, read it, OK?
Love you. Miss you.
MOBILE PHONE PINGS
A fucking PDF?! Oh, my God.
Every ending is a false one.
What seems like the end
is always just another beginning.
Not a finish line
"But a marker in the sand that says
as much about how far you've come"
"as it does about how much road"
"continues to stretch on
in front of you."
Hmm.
Yeah,
that kind of stuff loses me a bit.
I'm sorry, it's giving poem -
in a derogatory sense.
ABI SNIGGERS
I like it!
I feel like it's really romantic.
Like, it makes all the really
boring stuff that's happened,
like, feel special.
Thank you, Abi!
Yeah, I do feel like
I come off the worst, though.
No, I come off the worst.
No, no, no! I am the worst!
That's the whole point of the thing.
Also, my great-grandparents weren't
refugees! You know that. Well
Yeah, you kind of make it sound like
I grew up in a coal mine.
Like, I'm not Billy Elliot.
My mum and dad had a car each.
Like, they were shit cars,
but there was
There was two of them.
OK, you're both being
so literal with it.
It's poetic licence, OK?
Not everything that is true
needs to be true.
What?!
ABI SNIGGERS
I I got a promotion.
Oh, that's great! Oh, my God!
I'm Head of People.
Oh, really sinister title.
Absolutely terrifying words
you're saying to me.
Yeah, I just didn't care.
What do you mean?
I just didn't care at all.
I felt like
Like I wanted to celebrate
or tell people or even just be like,
"Look at me!"
But, like, I didn't have anyone to
tell and no-one was looking, so
Mm.
Hey, to the Head of People!
To the Head of People!
I got a job too.
SAM GASPS
Yes! I am
the receptionist at my dad's office.
Ooh! It's like a very,
very sad nepo baby.
Yeah, well, at least now I don't
have to feel guilty
when my dad gives me money.
You don't even feel guilty
when I give you money!
THEY ALL LAUGH
I also broke up with Tom.
Yes! What?! Oh, my God!
Yes! Yes! Ethan!
How are you? Are you OK?
I know you really loved him.
I mean, maybe you loved
the idea of him, right?
A 32-year-old man
who tracks his step count?
I hate the idea of him.
I knew you looked
a little breakdowny -
with the make-up and the hair.
Did you get a perm or something?
No comment!
Yeah, you look really fit.
Thank you.
I'd fuck you. Thank you. Mm-hm.
But, I mean, then again,
I also would fuck my ex again
and my ex's new partner.
No. Also, the guy
that my best friend has a crush on.
So the bar is pretty low
at this point.
Should we, like?
Should we talk about that?
Sucked him off while he watched
lesbian porn on his phone.
Oh, fuck. Lesbian?!
But you're a man!
Thank you for saying that.
Eyes, eyes, eyes!
Oh, my God, guys, I think
that guy's flirting with me.
I think that guy's dead.
Jealous!
Every ending is a false one.
What seems like the end
is always just another beginning.
The future remains full of endless,
insufferable potential -
the potential to learn
from mistakes,
to make better choices,
the potential to heal,
grow and change.
You can just do coke in here.
It's Abi's room.
MUSIC: Freaky by Qemists Scores
All you need to do is eat better
and go to the gym more.
Because you're not fat,
you're skinny-fat.
Thank you. I just think you're like,
"Fuck everyone!"
Like, that's the vibe, right? Yeah.
It's like a statement.
Yeah, definitely. You wanna look
like shit. Definitely.
That's exactly what I'm going for.
I'm just going to get a drink.
Sorry, sorry! I just get this sense
that, because of globalisation,
there's no new culture any more,
you know?
When were you last in a culture
that felt genuinely new?
Well, I was in Mannie last week -
Manchester.
Did you know they have trams? Sick!
Wow. Yeah,
it reminded me of Barcelona.
Mm. Really?
Put a pin in that.
I want to hear about it.
Oh, Roger! So nice to see you!
Thanks for coming.
It made me think, like, did somebody
put the duckling up there,
or did he make his way onto the pig
under his own steam?
This is hysterical!
It's an unbelievable image
you're showing to me right now.
I wonder what they even talk about.
Yeah, God knows!
Yeah, I could send you the link,
if you wanted.
Yeah! We could exchange digits,
maybe, or something.
Yes, I would love that!
Yes, please!
Um, yeah, I'll give you all the
numbers I know.
Ethan. What? Come here.
Why are you looking at me like that?
I thought you were trying
to be low-maintenance this month.
Why are people doing coke in my
room? They're doing coke everywhere.
It's a party!
It's called having a laugh.
Relax! Hi! Hello.
Tom's here.
Yeah, you invited him. Yep.
I'm a grown-up. Go in there, have a
shot and some mushrooms, OK?
So you're a fuck boy?
I'm not a fuck boy.
But you're still sleeping
with Tess behind Zara's back.
You're a fuck boy. Yeah, they're
open! Are they? Yeah
No!
Whoo! Woohoo! Party, party!
Wish me luck.
Whoo!
Right, so they're not.
Do you want to stay
at the grown-up party or not?
Good. Can I do some shrooms?
SAM SIGHS Fine, but no coke.
It's nice
that you're back together again.
Is it OK that I brought Jess? Mm!
Oh, my God, yeah.
No, I'm obsessed with her.
She's, um She's great.
I really like how loud her voice is.
Have you met Lucas yet?
Stalin gets this really bad rap
because of the gulags
and all the murders and stuff,
but really, it was the USSR that
Yeah, I haven't had a chance to talk
to him yet, but he seems
really tall.
I'm really glad you came. It's
I love that we're still friends.
Yeah.
It feels really, like, grown-up.
Yeah, me too.
Just because we're not together
doesn't mean
Yeah.
Tom!
Tom, babe, they've got balloons!
Should we do a balloon?
Yeah!
TOM CHUCKLES
Sick, yeah.
Mademoiselle.
Need topping up, don't you?
LAUGHING: Yeah.
Thirsty girl.
ABI LAUGHS
Hey, handsome. Ethan!
The three of you back together.
Sick! Thanks.
It feels good. It feels right,
you know?
Yeah! Feels good. That's good.
Uh, yeah, anyway, I have the most
insane news.
I wanted to tell you first because,
obviously, you've been, like,
a big part of my journey.
What is it?
ETHAN CHUCKLES
I'm bisexual.
Definitely.
I like guys.
Yeah, I
ETHAN CHUCKLES
I kind of assumed you
might just because of what
Yeah, but it's because I just
started seeing this guy,
and I think I really like him.
Wow! That is so amaz
To see a guy is amazing.
I mean, some of us can only
To see a guy - come on!
I know! That's, um
He's coming here tonight.
He's coming here?!
Yeah! You're going to love him.
He's coming?!
He actually reminds me a bit of you.
That's great. That's so nice.
That's lovely to
That That feels great to hear.
Thanks, man.
I'm going to go chuck these
in the fridge.
Yeah, have an amazing
And I'll chat to you after, yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go get fucked up.
Sam, problem. Party's over!
Ethan! Yeah? The police are here!
The what?!
Police are here! Fuck, thank God.
What the fuck was going to happen?
It was impossible to know.
Everyone, shush,
the police are here!
Get out! Fuck off! Take this!
Go! Go away!
They had their suspicions, though.
They suspected.
They suspected
that the possibilities
would slowly fall away.
That they would,
in fact, achieve exactly nothing
in their lives.
That they would not heal or grow
or change.
That they would be forced to watch,
powerless and confused,
as the world crumbled
in slow motion around them.
They suspected that this
was the best it would ever get.
It wouldn't be
until many years later
that they would be able to look back
and say with absolute certainty
ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC
that the suspicion
SPEAKER: Low battery.
Was right.
Oh, fuck everything!