Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s01e06 Episode Script

Project A, for Astral

1
The sheep talisman?
Oh, Jackie had
a little lamb.
(Crash)
It's not here.
Can you believe it?
Hah.
Guess not.
(Cell phone rings)
Hello.
Jade: Jackie! Help!
Jade, what's wrong?
Never leave me
with uncle again.
We eat nothing
but mung beans and rice.
And he reeks of garlic.
And uncle's no fun.
I asked him if we could go
to the new Melvin moose
amusement park,
and he's all, "roller coasters
are bad for digestion."
Ahh! No!
I know!
Can you believe it?
So you promise we'll go
as soon as you get home?
Promise?
Yes! Whatever,
I promise!
Good-bye!
Valmont, score!
(Chuckles)
And chan?
We'll miss him
dearly.
Hohh!
Aah!
(Whimpering)
You need to jump!
(Whimpering)
Aah!
- Unh!
Uhh!
No way he's human.
Ohh
Ahh! Bad day, bad day,
bad day, bad day!
Eyaah!
Fly! Fly! Fly!
Yaaaa!
One stop shopping.
(Grunt)
No!
Did I do that?
Jackie!
Uhh! Hello Jade.
Did you--
I'm going
to Melvin world.
Oh, what?
Uh, oh, ok.
But first I go home
and get some sleep.
Aw
Jackie!
Uncle!
What did you bring me?
The sheep talisman?
Good!
Now we can do research!
Oh, but I'm very tired.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Wait.
What is it?
What do you hear?
Ow!
I hear the sound
of the sheep
not telling me
what power it holds.
I hear the sound
of our footsteps
walking to the back room
to translate
ancient inscriptions.
Please, uncle, I have been
traveling for 18 hours.
I jump from a helicopter
and ran along a falling train.
That is why you must relax
with some good books.
Chan possesses yet
another talisman
While I have none?!
You are weak, valmont!
And your men are fools!
That's it! I ain't
taking no more lip
from a statue.
I am no statue!
You stand in the presence
of a demon sorcerer.
I once held dominion
over a vast empire.
But my subjects betrayed me.
They cast a chi spell,
which imprisoned me
in this pitiful icon,
where I have remained
for 900 years.
The 12 magic talismans
from which I drew my power
was scattered to the winds.
Whoa!
You got jacked!
Acquisition
of all the talismans
will allow me to be
free of my confinement
and walk the earth
once again.
At which time
we will be rewarded
the lost treasure
of shin shi-wah.
Well worth taking
a little lip,
don't you think?
Uncle: Jackie,
these symbols
explain
the talisman's
power.
We must find
a translation.
(Snoring)
Ow! Counting sheep
makes me sleepy!
One more thing
We must keep the talisman
in this magic box,
where it will be concealed
from the dark forces.
One more thing
Stay awake!
You break
many antiques
when you sleepwalk.
Oh, I don't sleepwalk!
So! You break
my antiques
for fun?!
I'll find out what
it does the easy way.
Hmm. Just hope it
isn't the exploding
head talisman.
Work already!
Uhh!
(Gasps) Oh, no!
I'm dead!
Huh? Hmm.
I'mNot dead?
Cool! This must
be the--ooh!
Ghost talisman!
Jackie won't believe it!
Boo! Hello!
Can't you guys see me?
No? Then I guess
you won't mind if I
touch your guts!
(Laughing)
Melvin world
can't touch this!
Wahoo!
Waste of time!
They probably
got it locked up
at section 13 by now,
wherever that is.
Uh, I'm sorry, did
you say something?
No way!
Yes way!
Ratso: So then chan
lifts a whole bus
off the ground,
and he Chucks it
at us!
He wasn't easy
to take down,
but we knew how much
you wanted this.
Cheers, shendu.
The first of an even dozen.
I am free!
The sheep talisman
enables me
to project
my astral form.
An admirable start,
but I must have
the others.
Yeah, but finding
section 13 won't be
as easy as taking
a talisman
out of a sleeping
kid's hand--ow!
Did that occur
before or after chan
"chucked the bus"?
(Hisses) This
sleeping child
may not be
sleeping at all.
And if her
spirit wanders,
her vessel
has a vacancy!
Jade: Ew! Quit
picking your nose!
(Sighs) Being a ghost
of golden gate park
is pretty lame if no one
can see you. I'm outie!
(Yawns) Hmm.
Jade is awfully quiet.
Oh! Like a baby!
Hmm.
(Jackie snoring)
Oh! Like a baby!
Ohh! Where's
the talisman?
Whoa! What are you?
Everything you will
grow to fear!
(Hissing)
(Gasps)
Uh! Oh, wha--
time to awaken,
dear uncle.
Sorry, Charlie!
But my body
ain't big enough
for the both of us.
Unh!
Unh! Get out of there!
Give me back
my skin and bones!
Unh! Ugh!
You should not
sleep on the floor,
uncle Jackie.
(Yawns) We should
go back to section 13.
Yes! Section 13.
Uncle: Jackie!
(Sighs) Eventually.
Grr!
Jade: Jackie,
she's not me!
You gotta listen!
(Growls) Scream
all you wish, child.
They are deaf to you!
What do you want
with my body?
What do you want
with Jackie?
Gaah!
Jackie, Jackie,
Jackie! Look out!
Refreshments anyone?
Orange slices
and oolong tea
for my cherished
elders?
Wonderful!
Thank you, Jade!
It's probably
poisoned! Don't!
Jackie, no!
Mmm! Delicious!
And nutritious.
Jackie, she is
so not me!
How could you
fall for that
sweet-as-pie
routine?
She's some kind
of evil spirit
thing!
Why would
an evil spirit
act so nice?
Please forgive
my interruption,
but I wish to go
to section 13 now.
And why is it so
interested in going to--
(gasps) Section 13!
The other talismans!
She--it--must be working
for the dark hand!
(Yawns) Well,
Jade wants to go,
so I'll just--ow!
Arrange a ride
for her.
Black.
It's Jackie. Can you
send someone
to take Jade back
to section 13?
You all right, Jackie?
You sound beat.
(Sighs)
I'll be fine.
It's just between
all this travel
and research,
I haven't had much
time for Jade.
She really wants
to go to this
Melvin world and
Your coach awaits,
little lady.
Uncle: Hotcha!
The sheep talisman
possesses the power
of astral projection.
Yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes!
Great! Night-night!
One more thing!
Astral bodies
can pass
through walls,
but they
cannot be seen
duh.
- Or heard
Unless they enter
a person's dreams.
Dreams?! Score!
(Snoring)
Aah!
One more thing
You forget
to sweep the store!
(Both sigh)
Come on, come on!
Sweep faster, Jackie!
(Snoring)
Yes!
Jackie!
Can you see me?
Can't talk, Jade.
Sweeping.
Uncle: Jackie!
Jackie,
listen to me!
You're dreaming!
Not now. Gotta
sweep the train.
Oh! Oh, no!
What happened?
Hey,
stand still!
You're dreaming
and you're sleepwalking!
Oh! I don't
sleepwalk.
(Gasps)
Stop!
(Snoring)
Uncle Jackie,
you're dreaming!
But I'm real!
I took the talisman
and I got all ghosty,
but when I got
back to my body
And so now
the bad guys
have the talisman,
and evil me is going
to section 13
to steal
the rest of them.
And you've
gotta stop me!
I mean, the me
outside this dream.
Dream? Oh, that's
crazy, Jade.
You're crazy!
If I'm the crazy one,
how come you're the one
not wearing pants?
Huh?
I can prove everything,
Jackie.
Look in the box.
The talisman's gone!
Now wake up!
Aah!
Ugh!
(Gasps)
My dream was no dream!
Jade is right.
I'm the bomb,
uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Where is
the talisman?
Jade has it.
Uh, had it.
Uncle, this will
sound crazy--
Jade took the talisman,
and now she's trapped
in astral form
while an evil spirit
walks in her body.
UhYes!
The sheep talisman
put on wolf in sheep's
clothing.
You find Jade.
- I will find a chi spell
to banish the wolf.
Go, uncle.
Almost there, Jade.
I know it may seem
silly by now,
but I have to ask you
to wear this.
At last, section 13.
Ok, you can look.
(Melvin moose laughing)
A little birdie told me
you've been wanting
to come here.
Grrr!
Black.
Captain black.
Trust me.
You're in terrible danger.
Jade is evil!
I know she's
a handful, Jackie.
But evil?
Whee! Hee, ha ha!
Whee!
DuhSmile
for the camera.
Soon I shall devour
your soul.
(Gasp)
P.A.: Melvin's world
is now closed!
Please exit the park
and see us again soon!
Finally!
Aw
What do you say,
stop off for an
ice cream cone?
Captain black,
get away from her!
Whoa there, Jackie.
Grrr!
She's not really Jade!
The talisman's magic
has made her a sheep.
Oh, no, I mean, uh
I'll prove it!
What's the moose's name?
The name?
Grrr!
Give you a hint.
Another word
for wedgie.
You can't name it,
can you?
You're evil!
You're evil!
Jackie, you look like you
could use a little sleep.
Uhh!
- Uhh
Oh! Who are you?
Your executioner.
(Grunting)
Hey.
Stop that or I--
I give you
a spanking.
As you wish!
This is not my body!
Weak little girl.
I am not weak!
Uhh!
Come here, you!
What are you--
hey! Stop!
You are so not
fighting fair!
(Ring)
Huh?
Busy!
Uncle: Jackie,
I found the chi spell.
Very good one.
Please put Jade on phone.
Aaaa-uhh!
It's for you.
Hello!
(Speaking Chinese)
(Chanting in Chinese)
(Grunts)
Noooo!
I cannot break free!
Blasted chi spell.
Shendu, back so soon?
And what, no talismans?
Jade! Jade!
Coming, Jackie!
I'm back!
Jade
It looks like we
have lost a talisman
to the dark hand.
Because of me.
I know.
But I guess
it's because of you
that the rest
are still safe
in section 13.
Cool! So can we
ride again?
Hey, Jackie.
- Yes.
Who do you admire
and why?
Oh, so many people
I admire.
Steven Spielberg,
George, Lucas,
the people of talent.
They can use the computer,
special effects,
not follow the tradition
like me, you know,
hurt myself,
jumping off of real car.
They can use the fake people,
and they can use
a--a dinosaur.
Just choose part,
doo doo doo.
When I look at those kind
of people, they really
That--those kind of people
I really admire. Wow!
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