Johnny Test (2005) s01e06 Episode Script

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
Johnny got a head
Of fiery hair ♪
And a turbo charged backpack ♪
His genius sisters ♪
Use him like a lab rat ♪
A neat freak dad at home ♪
A super busy mom ♪
The boy's best friend
Is a talking dog ♪
-Talking dog ♪
-That's right.
Three extreme teens
And an air breathing shark ♪
Mega action game controller
Skating in the park ♪
A pharabooster, Bling-Bling ♪
What do we make of this ♪
Johnny Test ♪
Johnny Test ♪
This is the life of a boy
Named Johnny Test ♪
Johnny Test ♪
Johnny Test ♪
This is the life of a boy ♪
Named Johnny Test ♪
-(FIREWORKS WHISTLE)
-(RAPID EXPLOSIONS)
WOMAN:
Janet Nelson, Jr.
Please spell the word:
diphtheria.
Diphtheria
D-I-P-H-T-H-E-R-I-A.
-Diphtheria.
-WOMAN: Correct.
Go me. I'm smart. Go me.
WOMAN:
Next student: Johnny Test.
Please spell the word: Go.
'Kay. I'm ready.
WOMAN:
Um, yes. "Go".
Right. I'm ready to go.
WOMAN:
The word is "go"!
"Go?" Are you kidding? Hah!
No prob. (CLEARS THROAT) Go.
-G-G
-(DUKEY COUGHS)
(CLEARS THROAT, COUGH) O! O!
Oh, how I wonder
if he'll get it? (CHUCKLES)
WOMAN:
We need your answer, please.
G-E-A-U-X. Go!
-(BUZZER)
-(STUDENTS LAUGHING)
I couldn't spell "go".
Maybe your experiments
are damaging my brain cells.
Don't be ridiculous.
Now excuse us while we lock
ourselves in this lead box.
It's called the "Hair-do Ray."
It will thicken, color,
and style hair in seconds.
I totally embarrassed myself
in front of the whole school
and Janet Nelson Jr.!
Maybe you just got stage fright
because you like her.
I don't do Stage fright!
And I don't like Janet.
D.O.N
Some-other-letter don't!
Who doesn't like Janet?
She's the prettiest girl
in school,
at the same time, you hate her,
but you still gotta like her.
-It works!
-We'll always have awesome hair!
(BOTH) Ohhh.
Ooh. Ha ha ha!
And now you owe me a favor.
Make Johnny smart!
Ask and ye shall receive.
Behold. The Super SmartyPants.
They look like
an ordinary pair of pants
but the wearer will absorb
all the knowledge
that has been stored
into the cyber-pant fibers.
And the low-rise waist
and ground-dragging
flair bottoms
add style.
I can feel my brain
expanding already!
I'm a genius!
Can you invent me a belt, too?
ROBOT VOICE:
Johnny Test.
Student
his brain, barely used.
SUSAN:
We can rebuild him.
The pants will make him smarter.
-MARY: Smarter?
-SUSAN: Smarter.
SUSAN:
Faster, stronger.
More technical
and more mechanical.
And Janet will probably fall
in love with him.
These pants have the technology
and the cool fashion sense
to make the world's first
super smart Johnny Test.
JOHNNY:
Super SmartyPants,
I'm going to hang you up
on actual hangers.
I love you.
(OWL HOOTING)
(ROOSTER CROWING)
Another day, another opportunity
to impress everyone
with my Super
SmartyPants? Huh,
must've fallen off the hanger
-Way off.
-(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(BEEPING)
Johnny, I hope you don't mind,
I put you on our Battle
of the Math Geeks Team.
Battle of the Math Geeks?
Isn't that for math geeks?
And for super popular
and gorgeous brains like me.
I'm the captain.
And with you two, we can't lose!
Whoa! Wait!
Wrong way, stupid pants!
(PAINFUL SCREAM)
How could pants attack you?
It's not like they have
Brainwaves! They're alive?
Wow, this takes
breathable fabrics
to a whole new level.
As of 1:34 p.m. yesterday,
the SmartyPants
became self-aware.
And until we can do more tests,
they have to stay here
in the lab.
But what about
the Battle of the Math Geeks?
Shall I call ahead
and forfeit for you,
or do you want to take
your beating like a dumb guy?
No way. I think I've absorbed
enough SmartyPants power!
I can win without them!
Ahh!
Help me! (GRUNTING)
Don't worry, Johnny,
I'll save you
(ROARS)
a piece of toast
downstairs, bye!
We just can't be
together anymore.
It's not you, it's me.
And by that I mean
you freak me out!
(SAD MUSIC PLAYING)
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
I'm glad
you're on the team, Test.
And I mean that sincerely,
which is really weird for me.
WOMAN:
Our final contestant,
Johnny Test.
(APPLAUSE)
WOMAN:
Find three consecutive
odd integers
whose sum is 105.
-Um, hockey?
-(LAUGHTER)
WOMAN:
What is the square root
of infinity?
-Sausage?
-(LAUGHTER)
WOMAN:
What is two plus two?
Um, monster truck?
-(BUZZES)
-(LAUGHTER)
WOMAN:
Final question, for ten points.
Johnny Test.
Using binomial series,
expand the following function
as a Maclaurin series.
Timeout!
Look, I know I said some
pretty mean things before.
But I can't live without you!
We rewrite the expression
so there is a constant of one
inside the radical.
WOMAN:
Correct! You win!
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Well, how do you like us now,
Porkbutt?
How you like us now?
Whoo! Frozen juice smoothies
for everyone!
Go smoothie, go smoothie!
I'll see you at the frozen juice
smoothie shop, Johnny.
I need to look good.
Then lose the SmartyPants.
They make you look wide
through the hips.
I'm guessing Janet
doesn't like wide guys.
I do not like Janet!
Okay, maybe a little bit. Ow!
Great job, math geeks,
and, ooh, great smoothie.
(CRASHES)
(JANET SCREAMING)
What happened?
Janet was abducted by pants!
(GASPS)
The SmartyPants took Janet.
I need the Hair-do Ray!
-What for?
-The SmartyPants
are made of hair, right?
They're actually
a cotton-fiber optic,
mo-hair blend.
Close enough. I need the Ray
to destroy the SmartyPants!
Right, what he said.
Johnny, wait!
(SCREAMING)
Now we just have to wait
for the Super SmartyPants
to fall apart
like the Hair-do Ray
made my hair fall out earlier.
(CRYING)
Whoa, didn't see that coming.
Johnny you took
the "Big-hair-do" Ray
a.k.a, the wrong one.
But it still has that hair
falling out defect, right?
Actually it has
a different defect.
JOHNNY:
And that would be?
Ah! Help me!
BOTH:
Lasers.
-Say what?
-Um, this might be
a good time to run!
But run to the school.
I just conveniently remembered
something that happened earlier
that might help us now!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
-JOHNNY:
Hey, Super SmartyPants!
-(JANET SCREAMS)
It's time to do
a little turbo tailoring!
(ENGINE REVVING)
You saved me! That was cool.
Um, you want to finish
that smoothie
without all
the pant-filled terror?
Yeah, sure, why not.
BOTH:
Go smoothie, go smoothie.
ALL:
Go smoothie. Go smoothie.
-Go smoothie!
-(SCREAMS)
BOTH:
Go smoothie. Go smoothie.
(CRACKLING, BEEPING)
It's Take-Your-Daughter
To-Work Day!
All over Porkbelly, parents
are taking their little
sweethearts to the office
to show them how jobs work.
(CHUCKLES)
Isn't that right sweetie?
Show them your real hair, Daddy!
(SCREAMS)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
You know,
it's also give-your-doggy
your-leftovers day.
MARY AND SUSAN:
But, Mom.
MARY:
Do we have to go to work
with you?
Take-Your-Daughter-To-Work Day
doesn't do anything for girls
except keep them outta school.
My meeting is at the Porkbelly
Aeronautic Robotic
Propulsion lab.
BOTH:
Okay, we'll go.
What? They don't
have to go to school!
I want to go to work with Mom!
Sorry, Johnny, but it's
Take-Your-Daughter-To-Work Day.
This is an outrage!
A conspiracy against boys
across this great land,
and I won't stand for it.
I will not be denied!
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
You girls have a great day
with Mom.
And, Johnny, don't miss the bus.
Here are your lunches
but remember,
tonight is take-out
meatloaf day,
so I want you all
home by 6:00 sharp
for take-out meatloaf!
Or you know what.
You'll take away Dukey?
BOTH:
You'll take away the lab?
Kick, scream and cry?
All of the above. Bye!
(WHISPERS)
I told you
I would not be denied.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Hold it. You're not allowed in!
(HAPPIER)
Unless you agree
to do all the fun
Parent-Daughter
activities today!
The Parent-Daughter Funny Photo,
Model-rocket contest
BOTH:
Whatever.
Mom! Please tell me your meeting
is in that super top-secret lab!
No, even more exciting!
(BOTH GASP)
-(MARY GROANS)
-SUSAN: A board room?
Emphasis on "bored"!
We are in the most advanced
rocket lab in the world
and we have to hang
in a board room?
Yeah, that's right.
(DISAPPOINTED GRUMBLE)
Well, I guess we'll be enjoying
Take-Your-Johnny
To-Work Day outside,
'cause there's no way
we're getting in that lab
without a pass or parent.
I saw something
in this spy movie once
where this agent dude
snuck into a lab disguised as--
Don't be silly, Johnny.
Nothing you see in a movie
works in real life.
I stand corrected.
SUSAN:
Mom, it's great seeing you work
with old guys
but we gotta go to the bathroom.
(CHUCKLES)
Not check out
that top-secret lab or anything.
Okay, I'll catch up
with you later.
Give it up.
There's no way anyone
is going to let
two unsupervised teens
into a top-secret lab.
Hmm
We're in.
MAN:
Excuse me, do you have clearance
to enter this lab?
Turn around slowly.
BOTH:
What are you doing here?
It's my personal protest
regarding the suppression
of boys everywhere
who must stay in school
while girls get to go
to work with--
BOTH:
Okay, we get it.
Well, what are you doing here?
You're supposed to be
with your mom.
We're checking out the world's
greatest lab which also
seems to be some sort
of command center
for military rocket tests.
So where are all
the important old dudes?
According to this, everyone's at
the Parent-Daughter Funny Photo.
Think all of the things
we could do here.
BOTH:
Yeah, like chicken fight!
-(JOHNNY AND DUKEY
MIMIC CHICKEN)
-Knock it off, Johnny.
Chicken fights can be dangerous.
(JOHNNY AND DUKEY CLUCKING)
COMPUTER VOICE:
Launch sequence commenced.
-Deadly missile
launching in one minute.
-(JOHNNY AND DUKE LAUGHING)
-Oh.
-Didn't I tell you
it was dangerous?
No problem, I'll just punch in
some new coordinates
and make the deadly missile land
in the Indian Ocean. (LAUGHING)
COMPUTER VOICE:
Target selected.
Porkbelly Aeronautic Robotic
Propulsion Lab.
Why did you let me do that?
Who lets a dog
punch in coordinates?
Run!
There's less than a minute
until the Parent-Daughter
Funny Photo.
Get yer daughters and let's go!
Say, "funny photo!"
ALL:
Funny Photo!
Quick! Back to the-- Mom?
There you are. Time to go!
But, Mom, we have to see
that top-secret lab
because we need to--
Go. We can't be late for Take-
Your-Favorite-Dinner-Home Day.
Your father will be very upset.
SUSAN AND MARY:
Man, I love holograms.
We just need to find
the self-destruct switch.
We'll simply destroy
the deadly missile
before it destroys Porkbelly,
and there's no
self-destruct switch!
(GASPS)
COMPUTER VOICE:
Deadly missile locked
on Porkbelly.
I saw something
in this movie once--
Johnny, please,
nothing you see in a movie
works out in real life.
Actually, hear the kid out.
This old general dude used
a second rocket
to destroy the deadly rocket
and it went
(EXPLOSION NOISE)
And the deadly rocket went
(EXPLOSION NOISE)
And everyone went (CHEERS)
So it's a good thing
he watches too much TV?
So let's take out
this missile before
-it takes us out.
-(ROCKET WHIRRING)
COMPUTER VOICE:
Intercept missile launching.
Time for the Parent-Daughter
Model Rocket Contest!
Fire.
And it wouldn't be
Take-Your-Daughter-To-Work Day
without ice cream and fireworks!
-So if this doesn't work,
we're all doomed, right?
-Yeah, that's right.
Wow, that was much bigger
than last year.
We did it!
BOTH:
We saved thousands of lives.
Yeah, but now you guys
are toast.
Dinner's in ten minutes
and there's no way
you'll get home.
SUSAN, MARY, and JOHNNY:
Ahh!
Mom will see
that you two are holograms
and Dad will see
that Johnny cut school.
(CHUCKLES)
Quick. We need a smart,
strategic and effective plan.
Right.
Johnny, did you ever see
a movie that can get us
out of this?
There was this one
where a special forces army
zooms in
and gets the heroes back to base
and stops the bad guys
from catching them.
Oh, that works, let's just call
a special forces army
that can delay Mom and Dad
and get us home in ten minutes.
Ha ha ha!
Maybe we do have
a special forces army
as in every girl in Porkbelly!
Um, we're, like, girls
and we have to, like, get home
in like ten minutes
or our dad will, like,
ground us totally for life.
Get in the bag.
The red blip is Mom,
the blue blip is Dad
and this is us.
We'll never make it.
(TIRES SCREECH)
This is as far
as I can take you.
But don't worry.
I got you a faster ride.
What's your address?
(HORN HONKS)
Daddy, you missed
an emergency call
at 252 Porkbelly Drive.
(SIREN WAILING)
It's no use. Dad's already
at the meatloaf store.
We'll never beat him home.
Do you have a picture
of your dad?
COMPUTER VOICE:
Delay this dad. Delay this dad.
Sir, you forget your large drink
and extra hot potatoes!
(SCREAMS)
Oops. I'll get you some towels.
But it might take me
a long time to get them.
-Awesome! Dad is stalled.
-(TIRES SCREECH)
SUSAN:
And so are we!
No, you're not.
We'll get you home!
(WHISTLES)
GIRL:
Okay, Dad, drop yer load!
(SUSAN AND MARY SCREAMING)
Okay, Porkbelly traffic
is clearing up nicely
and it should be a smooth
commute home for dinner
on this Take-Your-Daughter
To-Work Day.
That's right, Dad,
now let's check the traffic
over the Test house!
JOHNNY:
There's Dad's car!
There's Mom's car!
But what are they going
to say when they see
a helicopter drop us off?
And things look clear
over the Test house
except for Mr. and Mrs. Test
and that mattress
delivery truck.
(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)
(JOHNNY, SUSAN
AND MARY SCREAMING)
We're here,
and we beat your father home.
-(GRUNTS)
-Sorry, I'm late.
So, do you girls still not like
Take-Your-Daughter-To-Work Day?
Actually, Dad,
we think it teaches girls
very useful skills.
I'm still wearing
the girl's outfit, aren't I?
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)