LOL: Last One Laughing Germany (2021) s01e06 Episode Script

1
Your willingness
Kidnap me
On a white horse
On a unicorn
Oh, I'm a new born.
I'm really a nice guy,
but everyone is only ever after my body.
-Sorry.
-That's it.
That had to get out.
Dude!
Hey, Torsten. You're one tough dog.
-Dude!
-Hey, Teddy.
This is torture.
It's absolute torture, Teddy,
what you're doing here.
Because it's so nice, here's the evidence.
Hey, it's really It was really bad.
It's a relief that I finally
allowed to lose one as well.
I feel that way.
I kept it up the whole time,
and then suddenly it was gone, yes.
Please do something else.
Please. I beg you.
Please. Okay, no problem,
but do something else.
Doing something else.
Teddy is like the Terminator.
Teddy doesn't stop, but I think
Max Giermann is just as bad.
All right.
Grand finale, guys.
-Watch out.
-Teddy, Torsten,
Max, each one life. You realize
that the next one yes, finale?
Yes, when there were three of us,
I also noticed
I was losing myself a bit.
You were like in a trance.
-I saw your eyes were watering.
-Yes.
I fought so hard.
It became a psych experiment.
All right, now it's all or
nothing.
-Please leave your hair.
-No.
I thought
I'm not too happy with it. Maybe
What are you not happy with?
Did he glue hair back on?
Oh God, sadly that looks horrible.
Better.
Much better.
Yeah, I'd say
the winner won't have a lot of hair.
-What do we do?
-Do you know good jokes?
I also know bad ones.
-Tell us.
-Bad jokes are good, too.
Things like, "Doctor, doctor." "Yes?"
"You prescribed me a strength tonic."
"Yes?"
"I can't open the bottle."
-That makes me laugh.
-Me too.
A Roman walks into a bar and says,
"I'd like f five beers, please."
Ah, cool.
A Chimney sweep in a pub.
Barkeeper: "This one's on the house."
A Fish says, "Hi."
Another one, "How high?"
What's great about Switzerland?
Nothing, but the flag is a big plus.
Cool.
What's the shortest joke? It's done.
Crazy, the tension, right?
Jokes are a dead-end.
-Yes, I think so too.
-Mm-hmm, totally.
-Teddy has the Borat costume.
-What's this for?
If you find out, I'm gone.
Please don't.
Is this for dress up, or
No. That's a slingshot for Shrek.
Please don't.
Please don't put that on.
-It's
-It's the Borat swimsuit, I'm afraid.
You know?
On me it would disappear.
Torsten?
-Not a chance.
-Only briefly.
Just for a second.
I just want to see it disappear
and then to reappear.
No, you got that wrong.
Mm-mm, I won't.
Absolutely not.
Want my ventriloquist act?
Cool, I also got one.
-You do?
-I do.
Please don't.
If he latches on to that
he'll finish me off.
I'll start.
Very dangerous.
This is my dog.
Hello, Poodle.
Hello.
-Your lips don't move.
-Ya, it's pretty slick.
How are you? Good, thanks.
I can show you another act. Look.
-This one was great.
-Yeah, the other one
I'll give it a try.
I've actually tried ventriloquism.
You can I can do it
-You don't like to show it.
-It's so-so.
This for example.
Hey, how are you?
Good and you?
I'll make coffee.
I thought it was great
because it was so precise.
It was on-point.
Not many people can do that.
May I have the dog?
-That's a poodle.
-I know.
It's in the details.
Where are you, dog? Where are you?
I can't see you in the dark forest.
Oh, there you are! Easy, sit!
Sit! Sit!
Sit! Calm down!
Sit! Sit!
Max!
Everything all right?
What's that, Lassie?
Dude!
Like stabbing me. Tears welling up.
Again and again, and then this dog
Lassie, what's wrong?
"There's a fire at the back of the barn."
At the barn?
Where exactly?
"At the back door."
Shit.
You put away my props right now.
I made the mistake of really
looking at this dog for a moment.
And this Looking at the dog's mouth.
Max, you started so well.
Yes, but I was
Once you break the seal.
Once you start laughing
-But I get it.
-Yeah, I uh
I'll gladly give in to Antoine.
Let's have a look.
That gaze beforehand.
With all your heart, that's the best.
You mustn't get involved.
And that's what happened for a second.
-All this for nothing.
-Knock yourself out.
Well done.
Yeah, man, well.
-A hero.
-Yeah, man.
Bam. Laughed twice.
Teddy, right? And then
Bye.
Finale!
When just Teddy was left,
I was pretty sure that
I wouldn't win anything.
I thought, "Shit,
Torsten is one tough dog, really."
-Teddy, it's just you and me now.
-Yes.
Shall we open a bottle,
something good, or don't you drink?
I would like some water, if that's okay?
Spectacular. Sure.
Teddy and Torsten
are so many worlds apart.
You couldn't even make that up,
a final team like that.
Kurt, do you have a favorite?
I think Teddy will win.
-I think so too.
-He will.
What do you think, Mirco? Anke?
-What's your bet?
-Torsten really wants to win.
He has great self-control
with his stone face.
Champagne?
Prosecco. Not champagne, it's prosecco.
No, I only drink champagne.
Close the door, dick, I'm naked.
The fridge bits
are often a bit out of context.
We open in five minutes, you morons!
Okay, that that works.
Please turn, bend over and cough.
Dangerous.
That's suicide.
Hey, question,
you capitalize after a comma, right?
If you think I'm sexy,
why don't you smile?
Want some ice cream?
I would want some ice cream.
-Would like
-I Wait a minute.
-Ice, ice, baby.
-Back to the hotel
Okay, that was a good one for once.
Wait a minute Let's have a check
Let me check something.
I'd like to eat spaghetti ice cream.
Close the door, I'm totally hot.
No way.
He recorded that beforehand.
I I thought this is live now.
Imagine,
every time we tear open the fridge,
Bully has to run through the studio
to play the monkey.
Okay. Someone's coming.
Sit down.
That is a real bummer.
"Don't pick me up. Get away from me."
That's what you're thinking.
This really sucks.
Dance. Move your body.
It's the old classic
Reggae song.
Enough love is enough, is enough.
One moment.
Island.
Reggaeton.
That's when I thought, "Okay, it's over."
Because he briefly turned
the crank of this hurdy-gurdy.
I thought, "Now I'm done."
Another three seconds,
I'm going to scream, but he only
turned it once and then he left.
Otherwise I would have been out.
Mirco Nontschew.
Yes.
The great Mirco Nontschew.
-I'm going to change for a second, okay?
-Sorry?
-I'm going to change.
-Okay.
It's bizarre how well it works.
What do you mean, Torsten?
The mustache. Your attitude changes.
Teddy is just so into physical comedy
with these roles.
Every one of them works for him
and he knows that.
He can put them on or off at will.
What is this?
The fox is here, oops, dead.
And he's gone.
I saw Teddy.
There was tension in the room.
There once was a fox.
And four donkeys.
And three gnus.
Three donkeys, two gnus, you know,
and four horses. All there.
The horses are like, "One question,
just so there's no
misunderstaying standing."
It really happened, you know?
"What are we doing here?"
The horses, you know?
All the gnus, you know,
six gnus, are all like
Honestly, I don't know
what's going on either.
He's killing him.
They wait one day, second day, third day,
fiftieth day, sev
A hundred days.
Then comes a dwarf.
"I am a dwarf.
What are you doing here?"
And all the animals,
"We are looking for an expression
for the other for masturbation.
Shove the peep in the poop."
The dwarf gets nervous.
"I'm getting dizzy,
I don't understand peep and poop."
The gnu,
"Shut your mouth, I'll explain it to you.
Are you stupid?"
The dwarf, "What did you just say?
What did you say?"
You know, the dwarf to the gnu.
The gnu, "What do you want to tell me?
You're 3 feet tall."
But the dwarf
Wallop.
Back and forth, back and forth.
A gnu nicely
slaughtered, filleted,
grilled, dwarf stuffed.
Animals go back into the jungle, you know.
Dwarf stays back, alone.
Dwarf stays alone, you know.
He's like, "Hey, what do we do?"
He realizes there's no one left.
He's speaking to the air.
They're gone.
That's it.
Thanks. That was a nice story.
The moral of the gnu story is this.
Just as you shout into the gnu forest,
the gnu of the forest
shits you in.
Well
let that sink in,
you'll get it later.
You have a girlfriend?
Are you in a relationship?
I'm in a relationship. Yes.
I have a one too.
Really?
Helene.
Something terrible is coming, right?
Tell me.
She worked in the porn biz.
She did her job excellently. Excellent.
She was a workaholic.
At some point,
the whole company was so busy.
You don't bring home your work.
She did.
It was full house at our home.
I'm, "Who are these guys?"
She's "Just work."
I look into the room,
rungle in the jungle.
One on the wall above, one on the closet,
they jump over, there was
action
in da house.
And I don't want to interrupt, "Honey?
Are you working?"
And she's "Get out. Get out.
I'm busy. I'm in the middle of my job."
Teddy in an endless loop of madness.
It was hard, towards the end
In terms of dramaturgical structure,
the end was hardest.
What can I do?
Nothing.
You can only sue for personal use.
Or
I did. I said, "What's our status?"
Our needs.
They exist. There are needs.
And then all of a sudden that was it.
Fourteen years gone.
Since then it's great.
Torsten, I looked at him,
"Yeah, what's up?
Is anything alive in you?"
But it was fun with him.
It's absurd when you
talk nonsense and someone
looks at you with interest.
"Want a drink?"
Guys, take note. It's the last hour.
We're going to tighten the screws
and I'm sending in an audience. Okay?
Thank you, Bully.
Hey.
Hello.
Martin's a friend,
with the most infectious laugh I know.
-Hello.
-Hello.
Dangerous.
He was dangerous.
The latest
super model of automobile.
When Bully sent in the guy
who laughed at everything,
I knew, uh
the dawn has come.
It won't be long now.
It won't be long now and then
we'll just implode.
The idea of putting Martin in there,
someone who really
laughs his head off and is free
was of course a brilliant idea.
Whoever gets past him deserves to win.
And the worst was when he shouted
and the other guy starts to laugh.
And that It was not easy to avoid it.
Run him over!
Teddy could nod away things,
I couldn't nod away anymore.
I had to do things like
You know?
Oh, I'm pretty. I have such
I was watching Torsten
and from time to time he did
Voilà.
-You found it funny?
-Yes.
Me too.
That was great, right?
I was rooting for Teddy,
I was rooting for Sträter.
At the end I just thought,
I feel so sorry for them.
May they both win.
That doesn't fit at all.
Look, with this audience,
you've already won.
You know what I mean?
I'll tell you a joke.
Granny runs around with Fritzl,
slips, doesn't lift him.
We've a winner.
Bravo!
-Yes?
-Bravo!
At the end you thought,
"Finally, somebody laughed."
Yes.
-You have no clue who won, right?
-No.
Let's watch the video evidence. Yes?
And
Here it is!
Yeah, I thought,
"I'm not supposed to do that."
A careless mistake.
I was in character and said, "Huh-huh."
It wasn't That was a stylistic device.
At the end
you don't have a clear head anymore.
Teddy, you were a killer.
You eliminated the most people.
Let's hear it for Teddy.
Bravo!
Insane.
The cup goes to Torsten Sträter.
Bravo!
Yea!
Bravo!
Torsten, the winner,
what you endured was inhuman.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, respect,
and congratulations.
Yours, Heino. Um, yours Sorry.
Yours, Anja, Anke. All.
Torsten!
That was luck,
at the end.
That was luck
because Teddy made a small mistake,
otherwise he would have been
the clear winner, because
he was the interaction overkill man.
We all kind of suffered with you and um
I wish you
good luck and many blessings
on your path and uh
Just laugh again,
or not, but now, I think, recover first.
Bravo!
I talked to Teddy. He would have supported
a project in Eritrea, where his roots are.
I support SOS Children's Villages.
And since Teddy would have beaten me
anyway, if I hadn't gotten lucky,
I'll share the prize with Teddy.
Torsten is the best.
He shares it with me.
Shares the prize with me.
Then we all shared.
Me with Teddy, he with others,
me with others.
All good.
My conclusion is that this was
one of the most beautiful experiences
I've had in the last
forty years of television.
Really.
That was it.
The season. Six episodes.
Did you laugh?
Me too.
Once.
I'm done with it all. I'm off for a bath.