Make Some Noise (2022) s01e06 Episode Script

1
- [Sam] Tonight, someone
who thinks they're
on American Ninja Warrior, Zac Oyama.
(upbeat music)
A door installer admiring their work,
it's Jacob Wysocki.
(upbeat music)
And coming in on an
imaginary foldable bicycle,
it's Vic Michaelis.
- Hi, hello everybody.
good, good, good
Can you help me?
It's a latch, just there, okay.
Thank you Zac.
It's good to see you guys.
You too.
Good, good, good.
- It's so small.
- It's tiny, it's tiny.
- It's for inside.
- It's the economy.
- Yeah.
Okay.
- It almost folds up bigger.
- The latch.
- Oh yeah.
- [Sam] They're all here
to
- [Everyone] Make! Some! Noise!
(upbeat music)
- Welcome to Make Some Noise,
the game so good we spun it off unchanged.
I am your host, Sam Reich and
here's how the show works.
I have a series of improvisational prompts
our players have never seen before.
Isn't that right players?
- I haven't seen any of 'em.
- I got an email and I didn't open it.
- They must act out those prompts
to the best of their ability,
I will award them corresponding points,
and the winner will take
home the coveted golden ear.
If you've got a suggestion for
a better prize, I'm all ears.
- Dammit Sam.
- Players are you ready to rumble?
- You better believe it.
- Yes.
- Zac.
- Yes.
- A video game NPC's annoying side quest.
- Sorry to bother you,
but I haven't seen any
of my blue cranberries.
If I don't find the six blue
cranberries before tomorrow
my wife is going to go out
of town for a little bit.
Can you help me?
That dragon, forget about him.
The cranberries, they're blue!
- That's six points for Zac,
one for each blue cranberry.
Very well done Zac.
Moving right along, Jake.
Happy to be here?
- We'll see how it fares,
we'll see how today is.
- [Sam] An opera singer hits
a note so high they cum.
Look, we wrote a lot of these, okay,
and some of them just made us laugh.
- Okay.
(Jacob singing operatically)
(Jacob achieving orgasm while singing)
- Standing ovation, standing
ovation, flowers at your feet.
- This is why you go to the opera.
- What I wanna know is
what is this translated to?
- You said at one point "She fucked me."
- "She fucked me."
I don't remember saying that at all.
- Points for you, for sure.
Vic.
- Yeah.
- A 1930s femme fatale
hiring a PI to investigate
the death of their husband
who definitely murdered their husband.
- Oh, hello.
Sorry, it's so late.
I bet you weren't expecting your drink
to be the only dark and
stormy thing this evening,
and it's me hello.
Cassandra.
What's your name?
Derek, wow.
Listen, there's been a
little bit of an incident.
Oh no.
You see my husband Charles
Vanderbilt V, he's dead.
Yeah, the insurance company
won't give me his money
unless they ruled it an accident, right?
So I was hoping maybe you could do
a little bit of this,
a little bit of that.
A dog help a dame out,
you know what I mean?
- I'll cut you off there Vic.
Funny thing about those
movies is the clues
are all right there for you
in the first few minutes.
- It's just hard to see
sometimes, you know.
- Points for you, Vic.
- Thank you.
- Zac, we're back with you.
- Okay.
- A superhero suit up montage.
- There's a fire.
I'll be right back.
(Zac hissing)
Let's lock and load.
(Zac vocalizing)
Come on, hurry up.
Get the voice right.
Your ass, ass man,
Asp-Man like a snake.
- Oh, right.
- Snake body.
(people laughing)
- Oh no, this seems unhelpful.
- Come on, get in the snake body.
Snake body, turn on.
Snake body power up.
- I'll cut you off there Zac.
Seems very unhelpful for the superhero
to be in a full sleeping bag.
- Once it's powered up, it's
a really different effect.
The adventures of Asp-Man.
Note the P, coming to Dropout this fall.
Points for you, Zac, absolutely.
- Jake.
- Hi.
- A morning zoo host forgets what
the buttons on his soundboard do.
- That was the traffic.
What's up everybody?
It's me, the Spuck
coming in at the germ hour, 107.2.
Can we get a hell yeah?
(Jacob fake farts)
Can we get a hell yeah?
Oh, I'm falling down a hole.
Let's go ahead and turn to the news,
and what's getting Spucky today?
Oh, it looks like McDonald's
rolling out a new hamburger.
They're calling it the big cow.
Josh, Josh, it's your mom.
They said that you
weren't in school today.
I need you to call me back okay,
'cause I'm about to pick you up
and if you're not in the quad,
Joshua Sampson Miscule Junior,
I'm gonna be very upset.
Looks like somebody may
have switched my board up
but don't worry
because we can still get
Spucky in the morning.
We're gonna go ahead and take some calls.
It's time for the complain hour.
Josh!
It's been like six hours Josh,
and I'm circling around
the school and nobody,
no, like they said that
you went to fourth period
and that's it, and I asked
Mrs. Brighton where you were
and she said that you took your attendance
and that you went to the bathroom
and that you never came back.
Josh, please Josh.
I need help.
Okay, all right.
- Good job there.
Jesus Christ Jake.
Pulling double duty, my God.
Vic, last of the round.
- Okay.
- Vic's press secretary
discussing their agenda.
- Press corps, if we
can take a seat, please.
If everybody can calm down,
I'll be with you in one moment.
Okay, wonderful,
everybody thank you so much
for joining us here today,
so busy day on the agenda as
I'm sure you've all noticed,
on Instagram and from
that one tweet on Twitter.
So today we woke up about eight
plus like four so about 12:30 today.
Then of course, Vic was
about to get in the shower
and then decided that was
maybe too big of a task
for first thing in the morning.
Vic has rolled out of bed to complete
the Wordle for the day, that is correct.
They did not get it.
Thank you so much for asking,
so you can go ahead
and put your hand down.
At this point, Vic did go to the fridge
and there was nothing in the fridge,
so decided to go to the
taco stand around the street
where they got violent food
poisoning a few days ago.
So from there it's bedtime, right?
'Cause it's about 4:45 PM,
so we are ready to sort of
hop back in bed for the day.
It's not sad, okay?
Smiling faces here.
- Amazing Vic.
(upbeat music)
It's time for the mini game.
This is a mini game we
call Wrong Answers Only.
Category is: now that's
what I call sprinkles.
Y'all are familiar with the fact that
for the most part over the United States,
we call them sprinkles.
The question is what do we call sprinkles
in these other locations?
- All right.
- Okay.
- We'll figure it out.
We're gonna figure it out.
- In Bristol, Vic.
- Sprinkos.
- Sprinkos is pretty good.
- Damn son.
- Damn son?
- That's the buzzer.
- Last time it was.
- Yeah, I'd love to answer the question.
- Yes.
- Naughties.
- Naughties, very good.
Zac Oyama.
- Innit?
Innit.
- Pretty good gang, but
this point's gonna go to Vic
for sprinkos.
- Thank you.
- [Sam] Which I liked a lot.
Oh, by the way, in the UK
they actually call sprinkles
hundreds and thousands.
- They're so fucked up over there dude.
They're so twisted.
- What do we call
sprinkles in Naples, Italy?
- Pizza.
(people laughing)
- [Sam] Zac.
- Moto, moto bene.
(people laughing)
- [Sam] Very good.
Such a limped.
- I did forget where I was.
- Yeah, that's totally fair.
- I did forget where I was and who I was.
- It was referenced for
the language I think
is why I appreciated it.
- Jake you got anything for us?
- Damn son.
- [Sam] Damn son.
- Sprinkacelli.
(people laughing)
- One more time.
- Sprinkacelli.
- Oh, that's pretty good, Jake.
- I forgot you speak fluent Italian.
- I am an Italian.
- This is unfair.
- I'm afraid this point is
gonna have to go to Vic as well.
- Thank you so much, thank you.
- What do they call sprinkles in hell?
- Zac.
- Fingernails.
- Whoa.
- Damn son.
It's a screech, you gotta moan, ♪
You gotta mash enough teeth ♪
- Okay.
- Vic.
- Sprinkles don't exist in hell
so they don't call them anything.
- That is a very good answer too.
- Thank you.
- Afraid this point's gonna
go to Zac for fingernails.
Finally what do they
call sprinkles on Mars?
- Damn son.
- Damn son.
- Drops of Jupiter.
- Oh,
yeah!
- Fan-fucking-tastic.
- Zac.
- Keeping in mind the movie "The Martian".
- Yes.
- Ben Afflecks.
- Ben Af-flecks.
- Ben Af-flecks.
Little flecks.
- Was Ben Affleck in "The Martian"?
- No, but Matt Damon was and
they are often associated as.
- I love that.
- Friends.
- My arthritic cat is on beneflex.
- Huh?
- Don't make me say it again.
- This point will go to
Jake, very well done.
- Congratulations.
- Drops of Jupiter.
(upbeat music)
- That brings us to round two
where our players will
now test their talents
in teams of twos.
- Twosies.
- Twosies.
- Twosies.
- Zac.
- Yesh.
- And Jake.
An echo that mocks you a little bit.
- Hello?
- Hello?
- Is that my voice?
- Is that my voice?
- Listen, I'm just looking
for my little brother.
He's lost.
- Listen, I'm having a tough time,
do it for me, fix it for me.
- Kyle, are you in there?
- Kyle, Kyle, Kyle,
Kyle, Kyle is a weenie.
- Don't talk about my little
brother like that cave.
- Don't talk about my little
brother like that cave.
- Hey.
- Hey.
(Zac swishing)
- You there?
- Star Wars sucks.
- Cut!
That is brilliant work the two of you.
Yeah all sorts of points.
- That's huge.
- Jake and Vic.
- Yeah.
- The conversation with your Uber driver
gets real deep real fast.
- Hi for Vic.
- Hop on in, yeah.
It's a Japanese car, just
the steering wheel's on the.
- I'm sorry?
- It's a Japanese car the
steering wheel's on the.
- Okay.
Planned Parenthood.
- I'm sorry?
- Huh?
- What did you say?
- You're going to Planned Parenthood.
- Yeah, I work there.
- Oh, cool.
- Cool.
- What's the saddest
thing you've ever heard?
(people laughing)
Like fucking hit me.
- Okay.
We live in a world where
I think there's a war
with associated female
reproductive organs,
and so I think it's really
sad that oftentimes.
I'm sorry, are you okay?
- Just turning right.
- Oh, gotcha.
Yeah, no, I just, you
know, it's a real bummer
and I think it really spills
over into a lot of other areas.
- Does it spill over into your day to day?
- Yeah, it absolutely spills
over into my day to day.
I mean, I'm often just checking
people in, but just seeing
like the protesters out
front is pretty tough.
- How do you cope?
- Sorry?
- How do you cope?
- Okay, well
I would like to say well,
but you know, I don't really
have many vices for myself.
- Are you okay?
- To reverse.
- Oh, right, sorry.
Do you like driving for Uber?
- It's so tough.
- Okay.
- I'll cut you off there.
- The amount of times Jacob
made eye contact with her
when he was looking to the right to go.
- Vic.
Yes.
- And Zac.
- Yes.
- Maybe it wasn't the
best idea to break up
in massage chairs.
- So you wanted to talk.
- Okay.
Like I wanted to talk,
so that's why we're having
this conversation right now?
- Look I don't know why
we have to pick apart
everything I say.
- I'm not picking apart
everything that you say, okay?
It's just one of those
things where it's like
I just don't feel like
you're really listening to me
at this point in time,
and I just like, I don't
have anything else to say.
- I think you've said
what you need to say.
- I said what I said when
we were chatting with Linda
and I feel like Linda made it very clear
that you needed to be a little bit more.
- Well that's my thing
is like, I don't think
that it's fair for me to be
going to Linda, your therapist.
- You don't think it's fair?
- It's like they're on your side.
- I said, pick a therapist
and then we'll go talk to the therapist.
- I don't know anything
about picking a therapist.
- Okay, well, whose fault is that?
I gave you literature, okay?
- Okay, and what am I supposed to read?
God!
- Oh my God.
You're a freaking English teacher.
- I'll cut you off there.
There was so much backstory that evolved
throughout that short scene.
That brings us all the
way back to Zac and Jake.
- Sheesh.
- Foley artists for the movie
"A Bathtub Falls Through Ten
Floors of a Rotting House".
- We'll start with the faucet.
- Yeah, okay.
(people making foley noises)
Let that run.
(people making foley noises)
Releasing the termites.
(people making foley noises)
They're working.
(people making foley noises)
Little bubbles in there, big bubbles.
(people making foley noises)
Now it starts to creak,
it starts to creak.
(people making foley noises)
And here's the big fall.
(people making foley noises)
- Wow.
Transportative guys.
I'd hire you to do my
student film any day.
- Yeah.
- A point for floor.
Jake and Vic.
Turns out the hostage negotiator
knows the hostage taker from way back.
- Hey, hey, hey, listen.
- I need a helicopter.
I need a four by four animal
style mustard fry, no pickles,
and I want out of here.
- Evan.
- Oh shit.
- Evan.
Oh my God Evan.
- Hey.
- Evan and I used to work at
"In 'n Out" together, yeah.
- So this is new.
- This is brand new.
You're my first one.
- Congratulations.
- Can I?
- Yeah a quick one's cool, for sure.
- This is nice.
- How's your mom?
- She passed away.
- Fuck.
- [Vic] Yeah.
(people laughing)
- I would really.
- She was fucking special.
- No, thank you.
I really appreciate it.
- Like she like.
- Please don't, you're gonna make me cry,
and I can't do that right now.
- She's just like, not a lot of people
who would let like a kid like
- Sir, can you hold on one minute please?
Can you just give us a second please?
- Just a second bro.
- There's just not a of
people that would like
let a fucking kid like
me, like live with them.
You know what I mean?
- Evan, can I be honest with you?
I didn't think I was gonna see you
and I didn't think it
was gonna be a big deal,
but she did put a little
thing in her will for you.
- No way.
- Yeah, she did.
It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
- It's okay.
I'd love to read it.
- And cut.
Oh god.
Absolutely brilliant.
That is method improv.
Just a shit ton of points for you both.
Just a shit ton.
I'll throw in some for you there, Zac,
'cause you helped out, awesome.
Vic and Zac,
a documentarian who's bad at asking
relevant follow up questions.
- So you were in the Congo for 16 years.
- You spend enough time there,
and it just becomes home
at the end of the day
so just as much as I was
living in Bloomington, Illinois
before that, I now think
of my time in the Congo as,
as a second home for myself, so yeah.
- Ping pong or table tennis?
- I'm sorry?
- Which would you prefer to call it
if, say you were going to
play a game with your family
and you had the table?
You just aren't sure.
- Yep, ping pong I guess.
But so we built the schools
and then I think we really
came to realize that
they didn't need us to
come in and build schools.
You're going into a very
rich, vibrant culture
that's working on its own, you know?
So you gotta be very mindful
and careful of that I think.
- Yeah, of course, you have to be that.
If you were to throw say a Raisinet
how fast do you think it would go?
- For?
- Miles per hour?
- I'm sorry if I were to throw a Raisinet?
- Raisinet, just one.
- Is it covered in chocolate Raisinet?
- Yeah, I would say so.
- I'll cut you off there.
I haven't thought about
Raisinets in a very long time.
How many years did you spend in the Congo?
- 12.000.
- It was 16.
- Forty-four hundred.
We'll just be safe and say
16 points for the okay.
- Well, if you wanna do
it like that, that's fine.
It's your show so you
can do what you want.
(upbeat music)
- It's time for the mini game.
This is Make It Sing
where we work with objects
to make corresponding noises.
First I'll hand out the jars.
- Fancy jam?
- Gorgeous.
- One for you.
- Wow.
- And one for you.
- Thank you.
- You're so welcome.
Players, your sound is.
(jam jar opens)
On your mark, get set, go.
- It's so slippery.
- Oh no.
- No, oh.
- Someone in second place?"
- Pretty convincing Jake.
- Hey Zac.
- This is crazy.
- Thank you pal, I appreciate that.
- Of course.
(upbeat music)
(jam popping)
- Wow, not the way I was
expecting that to go.
- Taking it home, free jelly.
- I think let's say three points for Zac.
- Whoa.
(upbeat music)
- That brings us to round three
where our players will now join hands
and jump into the abyss together.
Zac, Jacob, Vic.
- Correct.
- What kids think happens
in the teacher's lounge.
- You guys have Derek today.
I'm gonna kick his ass.
- I'm gonna make Derek wish he's dead.
- Derek did his homework,
but I pretended he did it all wrong.
I said that all his math was wrong
and I really convinced him
that he doesn't know how to do it.
- Okay now, that's funny.
- It's hilarious.
- We should probably
get some clothes on, eh?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.
- I'll cut you off there.
That's the perfect button.
- Just naked drinking a cup of coffee.
- That's why we're not allowed
in the teacher's lounge.
Points as far as the eye can see.
Zac.
- Yes.
- Jacob.
- Hi.
- Vic.
- Me.
- One of those bowling animations,
you know the type where
it's like, you might roll
I don't know, like a split or something
and then you get the little like animation
that occurs in the TV.
- This is a polar bear.
- He's on a little iceberg.
You can see, but the iceberg's
getting smaller and smaller
and there's no fish around.
- The pins.
The pins are nuclear warheads.
(people laughing)
- Hello I'm actor Tony Shalhoub from Monk.
Congratulations on your strike.
- All right, I think
I'll cut it off there.
How much did they have to
pay Tony Shalhoub to Cameo
in that bowling animation?
Players, it is the last
prompt of our game.
The very last prompt.
- What the heck?
- I gotta say this is I think I wrote this
at close to one o'clock in the morning,
so I'm simultaneously excited and sorry.
Zac, Jacob, Vic, a home remodeling show
in which all they've done is
to put giant boulders in every room.
- I can't, I can't wait.
- Okay Henderson family.
We worked very hard to
make your house a home.
- Okay.
- We know that you wanted
space for four people.
- Yes.
- You wanted room for your grandmother
to be able to stay with you comfortably.
- Oh yeah.
- Yes.
- And I think someone over here
wanted a little something
called a man cave.
- It's gotta be me.
- It's him, it's him.
- With all of that in mind,
I'm gonna have to say
move that truck!
(people laughing)
- Oh my God what happened to our home.
- Before your house was a brick brownstone
with no personality, and now it is.
- Hold me back.
- Now it's eight to nine boulders
stacked on top of of each other.
We have drilled a hole into the center
if you want to come follow me, come on.
- Let's follow him, let's follow him.
- This is your kitchen/living room,
and you can tell that all of the concrete
that was in here.
- It's just a rock.
- It's just one big uneven rock.
- Okay.
- It looks like there's a little
secret passage right here.
Where could that go?
- A secret passage, that's fun.
- I'm about to have a stroke.
- Okay.
- Secret passage.
- Secret passage
- Does this not feel like
John Goodman's Flintstones set to you?
(people laughing)
- Man cave, you want a beer?
- Oh, this is a normal
ass room, hell yeah.
- Sorry, babe.
- Boulder time!
- Okay.
- And cut.
Beautiful job the three of you.
That brings us to the end of our show.
Our winner tonight,
Vic Michaelis!
You are awarded with
the coveted golden ear.
- Oh my god.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- That does it for us
here at Make Some Noise.
Tune in next time for
more of the game samer.
I'm Sam Reich, and that
sounds pretty good to me.
Goodnight.
(upbeat music)