MobLand (2025) s01e06 Episode Script

1
MTV ♪
[Maeve] The Stevensons have
invited the Harrigans
- to Tommy's funeral.
- It's a trap.
[Kevin]
It's obvious Richie wants us all
in the same place so he can mop us up.
Harry, what does your gut say?
I think it's genius.
The fact is, we're damned if we go,
and we're damned if we don't.
He wants you to know
he knows something.
And he wants to humiliate you.
[Freddie] What do you want, H?
[Harry] I need insurance.
I need you
to put these guns somewhere
inside Richie and Vron's house.
Dramatic music ♪
- Hello, Edward.
- So sorry for your loss
of Tommy.
[Richie] You know, I asked you
here today to see if you'd come.
And you came. And I respect that.
So there'll be no war. But if I see
Eddie Harrigan, he's fair game.
How in God's name
does Conrad fuck that?
[Maeve] That fucking cunt.
Insulted me to my face.
- Paul?
- Yes, Maeve?
[indistinct chatter]
suspenseful music ♪
[camera shutter clicks]
[siren wailing]
[Mukasa] Fuck me.
♪♪♪
slow, dramatic music ♪
[phone ringing]
- [Harry] Zosia.
- [Zosia] Donnie's back.
Who?
Donnie.
He said if I send him away,
you're gonna regret it.
Put him on.
[sighs]
You've been a hard man to find.
You got ten seconds, mate. Go on.
- My boss sent me to find you.
- Who's your boss?
Kat McAllister.
Boy's gone a bit quiet.
[sucks teeth]
How do you know Kat McAllister?
Kat's got a proposal.
I got the digits.
- If you want to hear it
- Listen.
You can give my associate
back her phone now, yeah?
Zosia?
- I'm right here.
- Take that number down
but do not put it in your phone.
You need to memorize it, okay?
Then fuck him off.
[phone vibrating]
Well, Freddie, what can I do you for?
[Freddie] What can you do for me?
What can you fucking do for me?
Calm down, mate. What's happened?
Tense music ♪
[phone ringing]
Kev. Grab Bella, yeah?
Fast as you can.
Get her up the Cotswolds.
I'll call you back in three minutes.
[whispers] Fuck me.
I bought you a book.
[Jan] Oh.
- Have you read it?
- Yeah. It's good.
- Maybe I'll regift it to Harry.
- [both laugh]
- Feel free.
- [phone vibrating]
Oh, speak of the devil.
Hey.
[Harry] Jan, where are you?
What's happened?
[engine revs]
[Alice] Let me know
if there's anything I can do.
- Yeah, I will. Thanks.
- All right.
[car door opens]
- What's going on?
- [Harry] I'll let you know
when we get there. Come on.
♪♪♪
[line ringing]
Fisk.
[Alice] They're on the move.
[invigilator] You must write
clearly in black ink.
You must not use
correcting pens, erasable pens.
You must not use highlighters
or gel pens in your answers.
If the fire alarm sounds, remain seated
and wait for instructions
from the invigilator.
The three hours starts now.
You may begin.
[woman] Sir?
Gina, we have to go.
[whispers] Dad,
what the fuck are you doing?
- Excuse me. What are you doing?
- I'm her dad.
- I'm in an exam.
- We have to go now.
This is an exam.
Get your hands off me, yeah?
- Fuck off.
- Look at me.
We have to go.
Now.
Slow, dramatic music ♪
Excuse me. Excuse me, sir?
Do you know how fucking hard
I worked for that?
- Get in the car, Gina.
- I fucking hate you!
- [Harry] All right.
- [Gina] What is this?
- Come on, just get in the car.
- [Harry] Get in the car.
Get in the car.
We'll explain on the way.
Pulsing, dramatic music ♪
[line ringing]
Zosia, can you get Kiko and you
up to the Cotswolds, please?
Do you know who Franz Ferdinand was?
Shit band?
Franz Ferdinand was heir
to the throne of Austria,
got assassinated
and started the First World War.
Vron Stevenson is Franz Ferdinand,
and this?
"Starburster" by Fontaines D.C. ♪
This is war.
It may feel bad ♪
It may feel bad ♪
I wanna see you alone,
I wanna sharp the stone ♪
I wanna bounce the bone,
I wanna mess with it ♪
I wanna lay the Deville,
the whole crew on the sill ♪
I want the preacher and pill,
I wanna bless with it ♪
I wanna head to a mass
and get cast in it ♪
That shit's funnier
than any A-class, innit? ♪
I wanna talk with the clown
who has apologies down ♪
Pay him 300 pounds
to take a class in it ♪
I wanna bite the phone,
I wanna bleed the tone ♪
I wanna see you alone,
alone, alone, lone ♪
I wanna strait the shark
and find me somewhere to park ♪
Like the light when it's dark,
it's dark, it's dark, dark ♪
A few stars about
make it feel like peace ♪
In a way ♪
A complimentary round ♪
Constellation got a twist in it ♪
For a GPO and all the hits in it ♪
I'm gonna hit your business
if it's momentary blissness ♪
I'm gonna hit your business
if it's momentary blissness ♪
I'm gonna hit your business
if it's momentary blissness ♪
[Harry] They should have
some rooms squared away for us.
- Best behavior, Gina.
- [Jan] Fucking hell.
[Harry] What is that?
It's a book Alice recommended.
[Harry] Surviving Change?
Maybe you should take a look at it.
Pulsing, dramatic music ♪
[gate creaking]
You should get something to eat, yeah?
Fuck off.
Fucking hell.
Hello, Kev.
- All right.
- Bella here?
Yeah, she's upstairs, go and find her.
- Wonderful.
- All right, then.
All right.
Who planted the bomb?
[sighs] I've only just got here.
[sighs] But I think I know
who might've given the order.
- Who?
- Mum.
- Did she say that?
- She doesn't have to.
[door closes]
slow, dramatic music ♪
[door closes]
Ah, there you are now.
Everyone's gathered. Yep.
All right.
First of all, I'd like to thank Harry
and his people
for all their fine efforts
Can I just say something?
What the fuck just happened?
Mum?
Well, don't look at me.
What I'd like to know
is which one of you fuckers
slipped me a Mickey Finn?
My head feels like I drank
a pint of Strypit.
Do you know how hard
Harry and I have been working
to keep the peace?
[Conrad] Your mother
didn't give the order.
It was me.
[scoffs] Why?
- "Why?"
- Yeah, why?
Do you know, it doesn't really matter.
- What's happened has
- [Conrad shushing]
Why?
"I hate you
with every bone in my body.
I wish you and yours
nothing but ill will."
You think I'm gonna stand there
and let Richie Stevenson mouth me off
with my son standing there?
I'm Conrad the Dread
"100 Fucking Guns" Harrigan!
I gave the order.
And Paul here, he placed the package
- five days ago.
- [whispers] Seven.
- When Vron was in Westfield's.
- It was Brent Cross.
[Kevin] So, while we've been
keeping the peace,
Vron's been driving around
with half a pound of Semtex
six inches from her ass?
C-4, and it was two pounds.
- Shut up, Paul.
- [Conrad] It was plan B.
I want peace.
But if Richie Stevenson
disrespects me like that,
I'll push the fucking button.
It wasn't your mother.
- It was me.
- [Maeve] I told you so.
I always liked Vron.
- She's funny. Well, she was.
- Now she's dog food.
And we're at war!
We're gonna take
those fuckers out one by one.
Their friends, their families.
We're gonna cut off
the Stevensons' empire
and we'll bleed Richie white.
Kevin, I want you to call the Mexicans,
set up a meeting.
I'm gonna make them
an offer on the Fire.
[Kevin] I don't know
the fucking Mexicans.
The only one of us
that had an in was Archie.
Oh, and are you forgetting Vegas,
- Dad?
- [Maeve] My God.
Who could forget Vegas? [chuckles]
What happened in Vegas?
Oh, it was the Lennox Lewis fight.
And your granddad,
he called, uh, Pedro Lopez a
- What was he? What was it?
- [Kevin] He called him
a "greasy, taco-eating,
Mexican cocksucker."
[Conrad laughs]
Yes, this is details, details.
Now, that was 30 years ago, Maeve.
Pedro's long gone, in the ground.
His son Jaime isn't.
He was there, 14 years old.
Saw that.
Now he runs fentanyl
for half the fucking world.
Enough, now. Enough.
I want everyone on side.
And anyone and I mean anyone
who doesn't have the bollocks
or the stomach for this fight,
speak up now.
Are you looking at me, Dad?
'Cause I tell you now,
you better fucking not be.
Eerie, tense music ♪
[phone vibrating]
Answer it.
It's Freddie Shaw.
Go on, mate.
All right.
Hold.
Richie.
Put it on speaker. Speaker.
- Put it on speaker.
- There.
Richie, me old cocker.
How's your morning?
Sure, they tell me
they had the hardest time
putting all the pieces
of Vron together.
Even more so than your boy.
[chuckles] I tell you what,
why don't I send my dogs over
and then they can clean up the mess?
[Maeve] Richie?
Richie, there's someone here who'd like
to say something to you.
Richie, mate, it's Eddie.
Just to say it was me that did Tommy.
And he squealed like a piglet.
Cried for his mum.
[quietly] Hope to fuck
he's not recording this.
At least they're together now.
Peace out. Bosh!
[Conrad] Yeah. Yeah, there you
go now, Kevin. He's a natural.
[chuckles]
What you say there, Richie?
It's very quiet.
Yeah, you had a tongue
in your head there yesterday.
Have you got any words to say today?
Slow, dramatic music
Run.
Yeah, the bollocks. [sighs]
So
any questions?
Yeah.
Where are Brendan and Seraphina?
I tried calling them,
their phones are off.
Find them.
Kiko, Zosia, would you mind?
Start with Charlie
at Seraphina's place.
Thank you.
So, Kevin
[door closes]
any questions?
[sighs] No, Dad.
[knocks on door]
Come in.
Fancy seeing you here.
Yeah.
This day just gets better and better.
Here.
- No, thanks.
- No, you don't.
[wrapper crinkles]
And take one of these, wash it down.
Trust me, it works.
Fuck it.
[Kevin] What the fuck was that?
We had a plan.
- Mm-hmm.
- We saw it through.
It worked.
Then he goes and runs through it
like a ten-ton truck.
Mum's sitting there egging him on.
Yeah, I'd say it's
a shitstorm, mate. You know.
What do you want me to say?
Do you know
who gets into wars like this?
Dying empires.
I have to find your brother and sister.
Yeah.
Slow, suspenseful music
[Harry] Zosia, what did Charlie say?
Apparently, they left
their phones in the safe.
All right, that's good, then.
That sounds deliberate.
Yes, mate, it's Harry.
Can you do me a favor?
Can you run a VRN?
[Jan] Gina was in her
psychology exam this morning.
Said she didn't even have time
to write her name.
Welcome to the family, Gina.
Seriously, doesn't this
give you a panic attack?
My whole life's been
one long panic attack.
And not just since I've met Kevin.
What's that song?
"Comfortably Numb."
That's what I told my therapist.
Yeah, I heard you were seeing someone.
Was. I stopped.
Why?
Conrad found out.
[sighs]
Thank you, that's enough. Cheers.
All right, um
Seraphina's Merc's been found
in a car park outside Felixstowe Port.
Felixstowe?
Slow, dramatic music ♪
That's the main port for Antwerp.
It's more than likely a private boat.
Which suggests
they're carrying a lot of cash
that they can't take
on a train or a plane.
- Do you want me to get that?
- Absolutely not.
All right, suit yourself.
All right, how do you know this man?
Samuel? He's a friend of a friend.
He's sound, smart,
thorough professional.
- Who's in business with you?
- He's bona fide, trust me.
This is cast-iron or I wouldn't
have brought this to you.
Brendan, Ms. Harrigan.
Welcome to Antwerp.
Been here before, mate.
[Maeve] So, there's a war on,
but Seraphina's switched her phone off,
she'd toddled off to Antwerp
with a shit ton of cash
in a Sainsbury's bag
our cash, no less
to buy Christ knows what
from Christ knows who,
with Brendan.
I mean, seriously?
Who signed off on this?
[O'Hara] Seraphina knows Antwerp well.
She's there for business all the time.
She usually stays
at the Botanic Sanctuary.
If she's carrying a lot of cash,
she's gonna want to stay
somewhere she trusts.
- So that's where she'll be.
- [Seraphina] Alphonse.
- Welcome back, Mrs. Cooper.
- [O'Hara] And Brendan.
Seraphina's a touch jumpy
about the arrangements,
so she-she's liable to pull the plug
if she smells the wrong aftershave.
She has nothing to fear.
It's a simple transaction.
We understand you have
something you wish
- to place in the safe?
- Yes.
- I believe you know the way?
- Thank you.
[Maeve] And if Richie Stevenson
gets wind of this,
then my firstborn son is a dead man.
All right, Mum.
Dad?
Paul!
- Yes, Conrad?
- Call Brize Norton.
Get the chopper here in 20 minutes.
[Paul] Sir.
Bring them home, Harry. Mm?
Yep.
[Bella] Don't get me wrong.
No one expects to start their car
and end up splattered all over SE19.
Although, being Vron Stevenson,
maybe she should have.
And so should we.
Mm.
I've already looked on Amazon.
There's a spy shop,
sells those mirrors where
you can look under your car.
Oh, they're on offer.
Should we?
Thank fuck that pill is kicking in.
[knocking on door]
Join us.
I won't, actually.
I've got to be somewhere.
- [Jan] Where?
- Antwerp.
Bella? Can I have a word with you,
uh, for a minute outside?
Your business with Antoine,
I don't know where your head is at.
My business with Antoine
is exactly that: my business.
Right. Until you fuck it up
and then it's my business
because I have to fix it.
Yes. Yes, that's your job,
that's what we pay you for.
Can I strongly suggest
you put a pin in it,
until we know exactly where we are?
- Let me think about it.
- If you would.
Right, that's me, then. Okay. Love you.
- Maybe tell Gina, yeah?
- Yeah, I'll do that.
Enjoy Antwerp.
Bring my babies home.
I won't sleep until they're back.
And Harry, are you ready for this war?
It's all war, Conrad.
[Bella] You've got to admit,
that's sexy.
No, it's not.
Not anymore.
[Leonard] There are 20 stones
with a nonnegotiable price
of two million euro.
All are high carat, clarity,
color saturation,
- the facets all
- With respect, Mr. Leonard,
I'll be the judge of that.
If any one stone for any reason
doesn't meet with your satisfaction,
then the whole deal is null and void.
We keep the deposit,
go our separate ways.
- Those are my client's terms.
- Yes, that's loud and clear.
You know, yeah so, uh,
where will this deal take place?
[Leonard] My client owns
property outside the city.
The address will be provided
once the deposit is paid.
Right, well,
that gives me great comfort.
[Leonard]
Stones of this quality can fetch
two, three times the price
on the legitimate market.
This deal
This deal is sweet.
Now, there's a reason for that:
it's illegal.
If my client's precautions
are your risks
and your risks are too big, then,
with all due respect,
feel free to fuck off.
But first, I'm gonna need that deposit.
Those are your client's terms.
Here's ours: no deposit.
Also, we'll be bringing
our own security.
- We will-will we?
- They will be armed
and remain armed
throughout the transaction.
[Leonard] By all means,
bring your own security.
My client will do the same.
But no deposit, no deal.
Well, in that case, fuck off.
Samuel has our burner numbers.
- What?
- Think it through.
But just to let you know,
I ain't feeling this.
Just look, give me
a-a minute. I just
S-Seraphina? Ser
what-what the fuck was that?
- It's called doing business.
- No, no, no, no.
You told him to fuck off.
Yes, Brendan,
and he's perfectly free to.
Jesus, and then where are we
supposed to get armed security
- at three hours' notice?
- Lorenzo? Seraphina.
- Are you in the city?
- What?
Meet me in the lobby
of the Botanic Sanctuary.
One hour.
- Fuck's sake.
- Taxi!
Fuck.
[Conrad] Nice view, huh?
Hmm.
Here, where you're sitting,
this is where I sat
and I thought [sniffles]
"I'm going to buy this place."
The air, the misty mornings,
the mackerel skies at sunset.
Reminds me of home.
- How old are you?
- I'm 16.
Ah.
Sweet 16 and never been kissed,
punched or chased up a back.
- I've been kissed.
- Uh-huh.
And punched.
Don't know what the other thing is.
Uh, "chased up a back,"
is a backstreet back home.
Right.
Who punched you?
- Some girl at school.
- Uh-huh.
- You tell your dad?
- No.
Why not?
Because.
Because you were scared
of what he'd do?
No.
'Cause he doesn't protect me.
Who protects you?
Me.
And my mum.
But not Harry?
A woman needs a man to protect her.
I'll protect you.
Gina?
[Conrad] Jan.
I was just saying
this is my favorite spot to sit.
Gina agrees.
Don't you, Gina?
- Excuse me.
- Jan!
- [door closes]
- slow, eerie music ♪
Come sit down, Jan.
- My daughter's upset.
- I said,
"Come sit down."
Hmm?
♪♪♪
- [door opens, closes]
- [shoe tapping]
[Gina] We're in danger,
and not from outside.
From the inside.
That old man is a fucking maniac.
Hey. I am here to protect you, okay?
How? We're in his house.
Seriously, Mum,
why do we live like this?
We could run away.
Dad would probably be happier.
Look me in the eyes
and tell me you like your life.
It's not always about that.
Do you love Dad?
Hey. Come here.
Don't be silly. Don't be silly.
[grunts, sighs]
- I have a question for you.
- Oh, yeah?
Since when was your
lucky lucky allowed to make
seven-figure calls
on how we clean our money?
Seraphina is a fine businesswoman.
[scoffs] One who listens to Brendan.
Well, she makes good choices.
You mean like you did?
At Stringfellows?
- Huh.
- A chain is as strong
as its weakest link.
It doesn't need two of them.
If I had to choose
who to lose in a war,
it'd be those two liabilities.
Oh. [scoffs]
You know, Maeve, sometimes I think
the devil's bile runs in your veins.
Coming from you,
I take that as a compliment.
Eddie. Come here, boy.
Oh
Oh, so good to have you home.
Good to be back.
Now, do you play chess, Eddie?
- Fuck no.
- No, me, neither.
- Boring bollocks.
- Mm.
But there's this thing about, um
sacrificing pieces to win the match.
Is there?
[phone ringing, vibrating]
Richie.
It's Maeve.
- Wait here.
- No, no, no. No, no.
- I want to meet him.
- Just do as I say.
- Lorenzo.
- [Lorenzo] Seraphina. Please.
[Maeve] Oh, I feel awful about Vron.
I was flat dead against it.
You and me, we always got on very well.
Very, very well.
I mean, sometimes a little too well.
- [chuckles]
- Mm.
So
I want to offer you an olive branch.
- For old times' sake.
- [Seraphina] It's rubies.
Mozambique. Dodgy as fuck.
It's outside the city on some farm.
Tonight. I don't 100% know
we're walking into a trap.
- I need you and your team there.
- [sighs]
With shit tons of hardware
and a very good,
very swift exit strategy.
How big is your take?
Two million.
- I'll need ten percent.
- Seven.
- Nine.
- Eight.
8.5.
Hold that thought.
[Maeve] You can do what you want
with that little bitch bastard,
but if you touch
a hair on my Brendan's head,
then you and me are no longer friends.
And you know you don't want that.
Listen, about our split.
[Brendan] Yeah, 75-25.
I want 90%.
Are you out of your fucking mind?
Why are you here, Brendan?
To make your fortune? No.
You're here to buy back
something you lost in Zurich,
then Belarus,
then at the cargo plant
in London Heathrow Terminal 2.
Namely, our father's respect.
I can help you do that,
but I'm taking a risk,
and that risk comes at a price.
Take it or leave it.
You fucking bitch.
Lorenzo's leaving.
Slow, dramatic music ♪
[sighs]
I'll take it.
Sorry, I can't go higher than eight.
Eight it is.
[Maeve] You got a pencil?
The Botanic Sanctuary hotel, Antwerp.
Hmm?
Write it down.
See you, now.
Nan. Richie Stevenson?
Oh, relax. Me and Richie go way back.
We just killed his wife and kid.
It's called a calculated risk, Eddie.
Queen's Gambit. [chuckles]
- Call the Mexicans.
- Will do.
[Maeve] Besides,
Richie knows better than to cross me.
[sighs]
[phone ringing]
Ah. Yeah, Samuel.
Right. Got it. Okay.
Yep. Downstairs.
Five minutes, yeah?
That work for you?
Take your time, yeah?
Pulsing, exciting music ♪
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
[soft piano music playing]
Can I speak to "WaxedWookie4," please?
I'm afraid I don't know who that is.
Hmm. Well, how about the,
uh, the recently deleted
yet unforgettable
"UrinalCakeLicker2"?
Ring any bells?
You know, I don't need your permission
to show some choice photography
to your-your wife
or your little boy Alphonse,
who's only five, that's awkward.
Actually, I'm not interested
in you at all, Alphonse,
I'm-I'm looking for, um
I'm looking for this person here:
Seraphina Harrigan.
I need to find her.
I believe she's staying here right now?
I need to get access
to her room urgently.
Can you help?
Slow, atmospheric music ♪
- Can I help you?
- Just for the pictures,
we're? [tongue clicks]
Thank you. Bye-bye.
[door opens, closes]
[phone ringing]
- Hello?
- [Harry] Mr. Vallance?
My name's Harry Da Souza.
Your client Seraphina Harrigan,
I need to speak to her urgently.
Do you know a Harry Da Souza?
The fu Give me that. Give me that.
- Harry?
- Brendan. I'm at the hotel,
- I'm in Antwerp. Conrad sent me.
- Pull over.
- Just pull over, yeah?
- I'm under strict instructions
- to bring you both back
- What are you doing?
immediately. Now, I can't get into
why on the phone,
but if you can drop me a pin
[Brendan] Just-just listen to me.
You work for the Harrigans
- [Seraphina] Give me the phone.
- so you work for me.
Now go back home.
Just stay out of this.
You don't know
what you're jeopardizing.
Right. Prick.
- How did he find us?
- Just-just get back in the car.
- Brendan.
- Just get back
- in the fucking car!
- [phone ringing]
Seraphina, this is my show.
I brought you this.
Now, if you want in,
get back in the fucking car
or I'll leave you right here.
Enjoying the view, boys?
Glorious!
Is there a problem?
No.
Fuck.
[Brendan] I need your game face,
- Seraphina.
- My what?
This is too big. It's too important.
Nobody is gonna fuck this up for me.
Just calm down, Brendan.
You fucking calm down!
If you don't calm down,
I'm gonna pull the plug.
It's my plug, you pain in the cunt!
- You want out? Get out.
- What the fuck am I doing?
- [phone ringing]
- It's him again.
What, Harry?
Don't answer that. Do not answer that.
[phone continues ringing]
[phone chimes]
tense music ♪
♪♪♪
[phone chimes]
Yes. Okay. Good.
♪♪♪
[indistinct chatter]
[yells]
[horn honks]
[Leonard] Good evening.
This is my client.
Okay, shall we do this?
That's why we're here.
Go on.
[engine starts]
[forklift beeping]
[clears throat]
♪♪♪
[metal scrapes]
exciting music ♪
♪♪♪
Uh, um
Lorenzo.
[engine revving]
♪♪♪
- Count it.
- [Leonard] Yep.
[counter clicking]
[clicking continues]
[beeps]
At last. [speaks German]
We have a deal.
All right, mate.
[twig snaps]
Fuck!
[indistinct shouting]
[shouts] Seraphina!
[screams]
[grunts]
[shell casings dropping]
[man groaning, screams]
[grunts]
No, no, no.
I don't want to die.
- I don't want to die.
- [panting]
[man speaking Spanish]
tense music ♪
"Lust for Life" by Iggy Pop ♪
Here comes Johnny Yen again ♪
With the liquor and drugs ♪
And the flesh machine ♪
He's gonna do another striptease ♪
Hey, man ♪
Where'd you get that lotion? ♪
I been hurting
since I bought the gimmick ♪
About something called love ♪
Yeah, something called love ♪
Well, here comes Johnny Yen again ♪