Mr Loverman (2024) s01e06 Episode Script

Episode 6

1
Cos, boy
..will be boy.
Larry. You're a
damn fool. Larry
Listen, Larry. Listen,
listen Larry, please!
Larry
Larry, Larry, please.
You chupid boys best
listen, and listen good!
You're raas damn
lucky it was me.
You only get one life.
You screw it up an' no joke.
Understand?
You'll destroy everything.
What we gon' do,
Barry? What if he talk?
Him won't. But if
anybody find out, Barry
HE SOBS ..we dead, Barry.
Hello?
You are, without doubt, the
most unfeeling person ever!
Donna, my darling, it is too,
too early for such accolades.
Don't you "Donna,
darling" me, Dad.
I'm having to go to Antigua for
Grandad's funeral because you won't.
So I'm going to drop Daniel
round at yours midday.
Come again?
I need you to look after him.
Look after him?
Trust me. I can't I wouldn't be
asking you if I had another option.
But Maxine's got a work thing
and he needs to
revise for his mocks.
So don't let him out,
and don't let any
friends round, OK?
Listen, please, I
I'm relying on you
to behave yourself,
and to set a good example.
Do I make myself clear?
Welcome to Planet Donna Deluded!
Am I making myself clear, Dad?
My dear, you are
clear as crystal.
Good.
You need to connect
with your grandson again.
OK.
This Is My Story by Dave
Richardson & The Invincibles
This is my story
This is my song
It's a song of
love confession ♪
Oh, how come you never tell
me which one was for which?
I did. Then which is which?
You never listen!
Use your common sense.
I'll never love another
I'll never love again
Unless I'm loving you ♪
You must have a special
cleaning procedure you inherited
from your mother.
No?
It should be a doddle for someone
as smart as you, Barrington.
Ah, the woman does have
skills that she pass down,
secret rites like
..how to give birth to children,
how to give men grief. Hey!
I'll never love again
Unless I'm loving you ♪
Honey Monster, his breakfast.
Rum, mine.
I'll never love another
I'll never love again ♪
You wanted to paint over this.
That was you.
No, sir. Mm-hm.
Well, I had the right, didn't I?
It's my house. I bought it.
You may have bought
the house, Barrington,
but I made it a home.
This is my story ♪
This is my story ♪
Boy, have you grown an
inch since last Sunday or what?
Hello, Grandy.
Hello, Danny boy.
Oh, Lord.
What the aftershave you wearin'?
Why? Do you like it?
It smell like a funeral home.
Come in.
The bachelor
life, is it, Grandy?
Are you cheeking me, Danny boy?
Mum said you turned this
place into a dump within a week.
Really?
I tell you what, you go
upstairs and off-load your stuff
and then we can have a little
natter about the slanderous things
being said about
innocent people.
I'll put the kettle on.
Unless you would prefer
something a little stronger?
Grandy, it's only, like,
half 11 in the morning.
Oh, you're right.
What?
You're a bad influence. Huh?
Hmm.
Welcome
..to Grandy's Bar.
ACCENT: All right, hmm
Give me one glass
of whisky, hmm?
Cos I is a rude boy,
and me wan' it on
the rocks, Grampops.
Now, either you're
Irish, all of a sudden,
or you are trying
to make fun of me.
Not at all. It's just I
wish I could talk patois
like you, but Mum
always forbade it.
Danny boy, let me
tell you something.
Speaking one tongue don't
preclude excellence in another
because I can speak the
King's English when I feel like it,
because I know my
syntax from my semiotics,
my homographs
from my homophones,
and don't even get me started
on my dangling participles!
You know, back home I would get
beats if I didn't know my grammar.
I know my grammar too, Grandy.
But we're in the minority.
And sometimes
Sometimes?
Go on. This is a safe space.
Sometimes I wish I didn't because
it makes people treat me funny,
black and white.
Almost mistrustfully. You know?
Mm.
You pay them no mind.
As we have already
established, most people
..plain stupid.
You just have to go
on socials to see that.
Social?
Social media. I'll
show you sometime.
Get you online, bring the
world into your sitting room.
Oh, no, no. No.
I don't want the whole world
making noise in my yard.
I have enough troublemakers
in my life already.
Here.
Cheers. Cheers.
BARRY LAUGHS Ooh!
OK.
I'm more of a brandy man myself.
Hm.
OK, Danny boy
Let we talk man to man,
cut right to the chase.
What's your mother
been saying about me?
It's not so much she
hates you. Oh, ho.
More she hates herself
and transfers it on to others.
And you know
what they call that?
Freudian projection.
It's when you have
Yes, of course.
I know.
I studied it for my
Psychology GCSE.
Oh. It's a psychological defence
mechanism, whereby someone
unconsciously denies his or her
own attributes, thoughts and emotions
which are then transferred
onto others, such as
a convenient alternative
target. PHONE VIBRATES
Was I ever such
a smug know it all?
Cos he sound like he
reciting it from a textbook!
So you have a girlfriend?
Daniel?
Hm?
Do you have a girlfriend?
HE SIGHS Yes.
BARRINGTON CHUCKLES Chris.
Chris? Chris.
You know what would
be proper gangster?
What?
If you got plaits,
like Kendrick.
Do you want to get,
like, really fucked?
Dab some weed with
me and I'll let you taste it.
Maybe we see if I can
finally handle that BBC
Mm
Yeah, it's complicated.
Isn't it always?
Don't tell Mum, though.
I swear, living with her is
like living in an insane asylum.
What make you think she mad?
She's the biggest hypochondriac.
Smallest thing wrong with me,
and it's, like, terminal.
Yet she still applies me with
fast food and processed junk.
How sectionable is that?
And no matter how
much therapy she has,
she still blames
Dad for everything,
when I know for a fact
she was a right bitch to him
and forced him to leave
Whoa, whoa, hold on.
That is my daughter
you're calling a bitch.
And how you know what went on,
when him gone before you was born?
He told me.
What, you see Frankie?
Huh?
You see your father?
Is him do this?
BABY CRIES Frankie did this?
We should call the police.
No No, Mum, please.
Donna
No, she right. No police.
Jesus.
Donna, it's all right.
Darling, look at me.
No police.
Argh! Mr Walker
So this been going on from time?
A while. Hmm.
I just needed someone
to talk to, you know?
A man in my life.
Maybe he'd like to man up
and pay for your schooling,
cos God knows he owes
enough child support.
OK, so he's made a few mistakes.
A few.
But, then, who hasn't? Ha!
And your mother
..she knows nothin' about
you and Frankie, right?
Daniel?
Hey.
Right?
She'd go even more mental.
So don't you ever tell her.
OK?
Look at me.
Ever.
Yes.
I hear you have to revise.
How's everything
going with that?
Cool.
Cool?
The data is all lodged up
in this hard drive of mine.
OK? I'm applying for Harvard
now, as well as Oxford.
There's so much competition.
Only one person can
be Britain's first black PM.
You know something, Danny?
The real test of success is
how you manage failure.
You have to be prepared
to im TIMER BEEPS
Prepared to improvise.
Oh. Hm.
Hm
I like being here, Grandy.
Though
..where's your partner in crime?
I take it you mean your
Uncle Morris? Mm-hm.
Him busy right now.
Aw.
So you had a lovers' tiff?
What'd you say?
DANNY LAUGHS It's
Mum's always joking
that you and Uncle Maurice
should've married each other.
Hm. You know, cos
you're inseparable.
Let me tell you something,
Danny boy, that you don't know.
Me and your Uncle
Morris have been lovers
from when we was younger
than you are right now.
So what you have
to say about that?
Wow.
Your mother is
full of jokes, hey?
Everything all right?
Yeah.
Fine, thanks, now, Grandy.
Problem with havin' the whole
world in your bedroom is I suspect
it makes it hard to sleep, hey?
Erm
Maybe, Grandy,
if there wasn't a little
thing called "night mode".
HE CLICKS BUTTON Voila.
After all, revision tomorrow.
Yes.
I can get you anything else?
You want a hot chocolate or a
You'll be offering
to tuck me in next.
Once upon a time.
Good.
OK.
Night.
Night, Grandy.
Pap, pap, pap!
Truth is you man a pussy.
Screw your face in
hard like you want dick.
But when I pull up,
you ain't saying shit.
Fucking faggot! Suck
on my nine-inch bit.
Pap, pap, pap, pap, pap!
Boy, what the hell is this?
Morning, Grandy.
"Morning, Grandy"?
Don't you "Morning, Grandy" me.
What is this?
No
Fucking faggot! Suck
on my nine-inch bit.
Pap, pap, pap!
Ah This is not what
it looks like. No, clearly.
Cos here's me thinking
you up early, studying,
when all the while
you're here, in my house,
spouting this-this-this
This hateful diatribe?
Grandy, you don't understand.
It's just music. It's music?
Yeah, lyrics. You know,
for a drill song. Look.
..they know, so they
act like their vision is bad
On my own, but my
presence, like, bringing the gang
If I go on my own ♪
I don't MUSIC STOPS
It's not like I believe any of
it. Then why you saying it?
I don't know. It's what
my friends and I are into.
Well, them, more than me.
They thought it would be
cool to do a video like this,
you know, for TikTok.
Asked me to do the rap.
And why you?
I'm the best at English.
Say again?
I'm the best at English.
Danny boy
Come. We going out.
Find your coat.
I
Did I know him?
Nor me.
But he was one of
we, one of our family.
My brother Larry's grandson,
who I never knew even
existed until he was
..stabbed, murdered,
became just another headline.
God.
He was only 14.
You could've been
a role model for him.
Now he's a warning for you.
Grandy, I told you
And now I'm telling you.
Your idiot friends are
indulging in a fad that will have
no consequences
on their futures.
Whereas for you,
the first black PM?
Well, you can forget dat,
if any of this drill nonsense
were ever to come out.
Because the sad truth is certain
people can cock-a-doodle pigs
and still get ahead.
But that is not the
reality for us black folk.
You never let other people's
narrow-minded expectations dictate
who you are, who you're goin'
be, or what life you should live.
Only cowards and fools do that.
Cowards and
..fools.
Thought you might like a break.
Hm.
Thank you, Grandy.
You're welcome, Danny boy.
Oh, God, my head hurts.
I'm not surprised the
boy have a headache.
Carmel gave me enough of them
with the way she dress up this room!
Come, come!
All right. Mm-hm.
You, me and baby make three.
Make four. Make four! THEY LAUGH
Come.
I'll never love another
I'll never love again
Unless I'm loving you. ♪
It's good, hey? Mm.
And locally sourced.
Hm!
Moon run faas but day ketch 'im.
Oh! Hm?
Indeed. Mm!
Your actions and misdeeds
will always have consequences.
That's very good, Daniel.
No, it's, erm
..very good. Yeah.
CAR HORN BEEPS Oh
I've got to go.
Go where?
Off out with a couple
of school friends.
Don't worry.
Not THOSE friends.
Tell him to sit him
lanky arse down.
That him goin' nowhere.
You heard what Donna said!
You know it's our show,
and it's about to start.
Fill me in tomorrow.
Back late, so no
need to wait up.
Hey,
Danny boy
..you want me to
come pick you up?
No, it's OK.
My friend's got a car.
Your friend got a name?
Go and enjoy yourself.
Blow off some steam, strike
some poses on the dance floor, hey?
Thanks, Grandy.
I knew you'd understand.
But don't look at any
roughnecks in the wrong way.
OK? Cause they might, erm
..stab you.
OK!
Bye.
Bye.
..stabbed to death on
the streets of London.
The victim, aged 14, was
found with a fatal stab wound
in Hackney Central, East London,
late on Thursday night.
Despite the efforts
of first responders,
he died at the scene.
A statement has been released
by the lead detective on the case.
"All of our thoughts are with
the family of this young man,
"who has tragically
had his life cut short."
Hello?
Barry?
Is that you?
Barry?
You stupid coward.
Harris would tell
you not to worry so.
Coward!
Since when I live
over a nightclub?
Born battyboy Born battyman
Run dem down, they
can come back again ♪
What happened to Daniel?
Why Mr Walker?
..are you in my house?
Are you gonna take
that from Grandad, bro?
Come on, let's go.
Nah, fuck that.
Dan said it was cool.
Hey, for the home
boy, Jerome, huh?
Oh
Easy, old man!
Oh, Jesus.
Hey, wake up, man.
No!
Not this place.
Not your grandmother's things.
Look at what you've done!
You're smoking, you're trashing.
You are trespassing!
I want all of you to get the
fuck out of my house now.
MUSIC STOPS Hey, hey, hey
How dare you damage
my personal proper
Fuck your property!
And don't make me
tell you again. Fuck off!
Grandad Grandad, I
swear, I-I never meant to
Don't you speak to me.
And leave. Me said
leave, so come out!
I say leave, so
leave and take this
..this homophobic
shit noise with you!
Oh, burn, battyboy, burn! No
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ. No,
no, no, no, no
Hey, hey, hey. Just
go. Whoa, whoa
Fuck you getting all
off at me for? Just go!
What you gon' do?
Stop fucking looking at
me like you want my cock.
Cocksucker!
Yes, I'm a cocksucker - so what?
You want to run battyman?
Then come run me!
Cos I suck dick!
What you have
to say about that?!
You want to burn cocksucker?
Come burn me, I dare you!
I fucking dare you
to come burn me!
I
Grandy?
I want you to take
your fuckery friends.
Come out. I'm just gonna grab
Just go on. Move,
move, move. Just move.
Come out my house. Come out!
Gwaan!
Gwaan, before I call the police!
My things
I need to get my things.
Find your things and fuck off.
Now.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
You're as rotten as your daddy.
And you're a loser.
Like all the rest of them.
So, go on.
Go.
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