Prison School (2015) s01e06 Episode Script

[MARI] It's good to
have you back, Hana.
I hope you're ready for work.
A lot has happened
during your time away.
Yes.
Madam Vice-President filled
me in on the highlights.
Then allow me to cut
straight to the point.
This latest prisoner escapade
has only served to reinforce
my utter distaste
for the Y chromosome.
That's why we're removing the
boys from the equation entirely.
[HANA gasps]
But how?
[MEIKO] According to the
Underground Student bylaws,
a third escape attempt
will result in expulsion.
Oh yeah!
But there's a catch.
Even those Cro-Magnons
aren't stupid enough
to try three times.
[HANA] Which means it'll
have to be some other way?
We simply have to
put the true nature
of the boys on full display.
Then the school will
see their danger.
First we prod the degenerates
into creating problems
this school's never seen
which should turn public
opinion against them.
Of course!
And after we've turned
every girl in school
against those dick-billed
platy-pussies,
the chairman himself
won't even be able
to save their punk asses.
[MARI]
Yes.
The Destroy Testicles Operation,
codenamed Operation DTO.
[MEIKO whimpers] She's made
the same mistake as earlier
by saying "Operation"
before the DTO acronym.
Should I risk saying
something to her?
No, don't be rash.
Last time, she recognized
her faux pas in an instant
and corrected it.
Before I can get a word in,
she will have revised
her statement, surely.
Or not!
What do I do?
Hey, wait. Saying it that way
makes the O in DTO redundant!
[MEIKO chokes]
Well-spotted, Hana.
Since you've been absent and
unable to perform your duties,
it was a test to see if
your skills had dulled.
[MEIKO] Sorry to have
doubted you, Madam President!
I had never considered
such a feint,
and you pulled it off with
such professionalism!
I don't know if this will help,
but I saw Kiyoshi cleaning
the bathroom on his own,
which makes me think the
other boys are shunning him.
You're right. I have
noticed it, as well.
Inevitably, his escape has
caused a division among them.
Also they've been
excluding Kiyoshi,
and it looks like Shingo
is the ringleader.
How fortunate.
I think we can use that
info to our advantage.
[MEIKO]
Today's work detail is finished!
Now get your asses
back in prison!
[BOYS]
Yes, ma'am!
--Hey, Shingo.
--[SHINGO gasps]
Let's have a chat
in private.
All right.
That's weird. Did he do
something to piss her off?
[coughs]
What is she gonna do to him?
[gulps]
So, what's new with you?
Well, I've been better.
[gasps]
You're still upset
that your sentence
was extended because of Kiyoshi?
Right.
[MEIKO]
Which is really unfortunate,
since you've been
doing so well lately.
If it weren't for Kiyoshi's
stupid little stunt,
you could be enjoying all
the good things in life
in a few days.
[MEIKO]
Help yourself.
[SHINGO gasps]
I can really have some?
They're tasty.
[MEIKO chuckles]
What a manly appetite.
Incidentally, Shingo
There's something I'd like
you to do for me, all right?
[JOE, ANDRE sigh]
That feels better.
Hey, do you know what
we're having for dinner?
[JOE]
Chicken katsu.
--[coughs]
--[ANDRE] Ooh, I love that.
[door rattles]
[KIYOSHI]
I want you to know.
I'm not bothered by it.
After all, if you're
friendly with me,
the others might clue in.
I get it.
So don't worry,
everything will be fine.
Sir Kiyoshi
--Yours truly--
--[door opens]
[KIYOSHI]
Hey, Shingo.
What'd the VP have to say?
Nothing.
You've got something
on your face.
[SHINGO gasps]
It's none of your
business, Dickweed!
[GAKUTO]
I shall take my leave.
[KIYOSHI sighs]
[GAKUTO]
I'm sorry!
I'm so sorry, Sir Kiyoshi!
Yours truly is nothing like the
virtuous and stalwart Guan Yu.
Rather, I am akin
to the infamous,
conniving traitor Lu Bu!
[groans]
Lo
My countenance reveals
my true nature,
like a window to
my deepest shame!
[STUDENTS yelp]
[BOYS gasp]
[MEIKO] What do you snot goblins
think you're lookin' at?!
[SHINGO]
Oh! Uh, nothing, ma'am.
[KIYOSHI]
We're sorry!
[HANA]
Get back to work, bitches!
Friggin' ow!
The Vice President's oversight
has become much more
exacting of late.
I'm so jealous of you guys.
Man, it really sucks
that Shingo and I
haven't gotten any
punishment at all.
Aw, you're nuts.
I've been takin' my fair share
of shots to the breadbox.
You have, huh? Lucky bastard.
It's not fair, why am I the
only one not getting whipped
and kicked every day?
[JOE coughs]
Fat dick head!
You tryna kill my ants?!
I'll skin you alive!
[ANDRE gasps]
I'm sorry! It was an accident!
--I didn't mean to.
--[JOE] Not good enough!
I'll rip your balls off and cram
'em in your eye holes!
[GAKUTO]
Stay thy hand!
You mustn't carry
on like this, Joe!
[JOE] Let go of me,
you deuce-dropping nerd!
[GAKUTO]
Yours truly shall not let go,
even if I must restrain you
to the point of defecation!
[JOE growls, coughs]
[MEIKO]
Out with it.
Did you bring me any
information or not?
Well, uh There isn't much.
All the guys are starting
to seem more on edge.
What kind of vague
double-talk are you giving me?
I promised to feed
you something tasty,
with the understanding that
you'd bring me some
juicy tidbits.
If that's all you've got,
then our business is done,
as is your special treatment.
But it's only been three days.
Nothin' much has gone down.
[MEIKO]
Oh really.
I guess you don't want these
paper thin slices of
well-marbled Kobe?
Just a sec.
What else?
I've got something!
Joe went absolutely ballistic
when his ant farm thingy
got knocked over!
He threatened Andre!
He went wild!
It was really intense!
My, that's interesting.
[yelps]
[SHINGO]
Are you all right?
Maybe you should wear
a bib or something.
I'm fine, thanks.
Enjoy!
I can have some?
Help yourself.
[SHINGO]
Much appreciated!
[MEIKO laughs] A quick splashing
is enough for shabu-shabu.
You're going to burn it if-- Ah!
[MEIKO]
Your calligraphy on these
Underground Student
handbills is impeccable.
[MARI] An under-appreciated
part of the job.
Thank you.
Have you made progress with DTO?
Yes. Just as you planned,
Shingo has made for quite
the valuable informant.
While you're cracking down on
the rest of those ass-clowns,
to really push their stress
levels through the roof.
Except for that tubbo Andre,
who's going crazy not
getting his nuts stepped on.
And it seems that
Joe is responsible for
creating inner turmoil,
which all stems from
his intense obsession with ants.
Is that a fact now?
Then it seems we must
be on the right path.
They're more likely to forget
rules when they're upset.
[MEIKO] Shall I confiscate Joe's
ant farm, Madam President?
[MARI]
No.
We'll ramp up the pressure.
Make them crack.
Hey, Joe?
Sorry for yesterday.
Hope I didn't ruin your
ants' home or something.
It's cool.
I feel bad for going
nuclear on you.
[ANDRE]
Here. Take this.
You can give it to
the ants, from me.
My ants aren't
really into curry.
But thanks, I appreciate
the sentiment.
[BOTH chuckle]
[SHINGO]
That hit the friggin' spot!
Hey gang, who's up for a
game of tag outside? Huh?
[ANDRE]
Count me in!
Who's gonna be it first?
[SHINGO]
Let's roll, boys.
[KIYOSHI sighs]
[BOYS laughing]
[SHINGO]
Joe!
Come and join us, dude!
You don't know what
you're missing!
In a minute.
I've started taking the ants
for walks on Wednesdays.
Give 'em some fresh air.
[KIYOSHI] I'm just trying
to act natural around them,
but they keep ignoring me.
Huh?
There aren't usually that many
crows out at this time of day.
[yawns]
[GAKUTO, ANDRE laughing]
[MEIKO] Call Joe over to
the fence and stall him.
[SHINGO]
Sure, can do. But why?
[MEIKO] You just do as
you're told, Kenickie.
[JOE] Aww, Logan and Jean are
going for a stroll together.
Better hope that Scott doesn't
see you, or he's gonna flip.
[SHINGO]
Hey, Joe!
--Huh?
--C'mere, I need to talk to you!
Well, wait!
Free-range time isn't over yet.
It'll just take a second.
--[dishes clinking]
--[KIYOSHI] Huh?
Something feels off here.
The three of them aren't usually
in the yard during our break.
So about this
morning's math class,
what's with the formula
for the function?
I don't get it, man.
[JOE]
Formula? What the hell?
Why're you asking me that crap?
'Cause I thought you were
good at math, Broseph!
[JOE] Better than you,
but I'm no tutor.
[GAKUTO, ANDRE laughing]
[ANDRE]
I'm gonna get you!
Gakuto's a nerd.
--Why don't cha go ask him?
--[ANDRE] Joe, look!
Your ants!
The crow's goin' to town on 'em!
[coughs] Get away from them,
--you bird asshole!
--[MEIKO] Cease and desist!
Where do you think you're going?
Let me through! My ants
are being crushed!
[MEIKO] That crow is
one of the President's.
I won't let you touch it!
[JOE] Please, you've
gotta let me help them!
[MEIKO]
Not happening!
--[JOE] Move it!
--[MEIKO groans]
My ants! Stop!
[JOE groans]
[STUDENT 6B]
What's going on?
[STUDENT 6C]
Looks like major drama.
[STUDENT 6D]
Of course, they're boys.
[JOE crying]
My poor ants
Not Piotr and Kitty
--Kurt and Ororo
--[MARI] My, my
You laid hands on a member of
the Underground Student Council.
Madam Vice President,
are you hurt?
[MEIKO]
No. I'll be fine.
Unbelievable.
To potentially injure a lady
over something as
trivial as ants.
What sort of barbarian are you?
First you break out, and now
you're resorting to violence?
This is becoming
a serious problem.
Hey, what happened?
Don't know why,
but a boy attacked
the Underground Student Council.
[MARI]
I need time to deliberate
before handing down
your punishment.
For the time being, place
this ruffian in solitary.
[MEIKO]
Yes, ma'am.
[JOE]
It's all your fault.
Your crow did this!
[gasps]
Joe! Don't!
[BOTH grunt]
Mari! Are you hurt?
No, I'm fine.
Joe, you shit head!
Not right now. It can wait.
[KIYOSHI groans]
[panting]
Kiyoshi I I
[KIYOSHI]
I'll be all right, Joe.
There's nothing to worry about.
Medic!
[STUDENT 6B] That's the
worst thing I've ever seen!
[STUDENT 6C] He's a shish
kebab!
[MEIKO] That's it!
Assault with a deadly weapon!
No, ma'am!
You're mistaken.
Joe didn't even have it!
This is just a fallen tree
branch I landed on by accident.
It just kinda
stuck me a little bit.
No big deal.
S'what I get for horseplay.
Sorry for the fuss s'was my bad.
Are you in shock?
If it just stuck
you a little bit,
then why are you
losing so much blood?
[KIYOSHI]
Hemorrhoids.
Madam Vice-President,
you've seen it before.
You know how bad mine can get.
Very well.
But in addition to knocking
over the Vice President,
Joe clearly charged at me
with intent to do harm.
That fact is indisputable.
Vice President
Please escort him to
solitary immediately.
Right.
President?
I volunteer to take Kiyoshi
to go see the nurse.
No need!
Gakuto can just take me.
Or I could easily
waddle there myself!
We can't allow a prisoner to
walk around unaccompanied.
That's correct. Please proceed.
[HANA]
Okay!
Come on, let's get moving.
Great.
[KIYOSHI]
As if the stick in my butt
wasn't enough of
a pain in the ass.
[JOE grunts, groans]
Joe, I hope you realize
I have to report
your little outburst
to the faculty.
[JOE] Maybe you should
report yourself to them,
while you're at it.
This never would've happened,
if you'd just kept your bastard
crow away from my ants!
I want them back you ant-killer!
Ant-killer?
You must be mistaken.
Have we gathered them?
Yes.
Hey, Andre! Bring the ants in!
Check it out!
We got all of your ants
back into the farm!
[JOE gasps]
The Professor? Logan? Jubilee?
They're all here But how?
[MARI]
She was only anting.
Anting?
[MARI] A trait where birds
literally bathe in ants.
Crows will rub ants
across their bodies,
coating themselves in the
formic acid they secrete.
It helps protect them from
several pests and certain fungi.
For somebody who says
they love ants so much,
I'm surprised you
didn't know that.
Though it looks aggressive
from the outside,
my crows know better than
to alter this relationship.
And you called
her an ant-killer?
How utterly rude!
I didn't know.
You caused quite a
bit of commotion
over what should have been
a simple misunderstanding.
Stay in here and think
about what you've done.
My fault.
My misunderstanding.
[HANA]
I wonder where the nurse went.
[KIYOSHI]
I can go and have her paged.
[HANA]
No need for that.
We'll just disinfect it, apply
some ointment and you'll be set.
I'd rather call her.
Did you not hear me
say there's no need?
Fine.
[KIYOSHI]
All alone with Hana?
There's no telling what
she's gonna try to do.
--[HANA] Heads up!
--[gasps]
Now you can do the rest
of it yourself, okay?
[sighs]
--Finished?
--A little privacy?
--Well, hurry it up, okay?
--I'm not done yet!
[KIYOSHI gasps]
[HANA]
On second thought,
there's one thing we can do.
Your pants are down already.
Come on.
It's time for you
to take a leak.
[HANA]
I'm going to do to you
--everything you did to me.
--[KIYOSHI gasps]
[gasping continues]
First off, I'm going to watch
you pee like you watched me.
What? Right here?
In the clinic?
That's right, which is why
I grabbed this doohickey.
I don't need to go!
Just do it!
Now make it quick,
before the nurse gets back!
And I'll commemorate
it with a photo.
Why don't you loosen up a bit?
Come on, smile big
for the camera.
Throw up a gang
sign or something!
[KIYOSHI] Hey, what the hell?!
I didn't take pictures of you!
Get it out!
--Let's have a look, shall we?
--[KIYOSHI] No!
--Please stop! I don't want to!
--Quit squirming!
Resistance is futile!
--[KIYOSHI] Not happening!
--[HANA] Come on! Let's see it!
[KIYOSHI]
No deal!
[BOTH panting]
[HANA] For fuck's sake, you're
a stubborn son of a bitch.
Have it your way.
Huh? Wait you mean it?
Now turn around.
O-Okay
[HANA] There's not much time.
We'll change the order.
I'll kick things off
by peeing on you.
[gasps]
[HANA] I'm going to
give you an equal dose
of the humiliation you gave me.
[KIYOSHI]
But if you do that in here.
The sheets are probably
gonna be ruined.
Does it look like I care?
Now roll onto your belly.
Chop, chop!
[KIYOSHI] Is she seriously
gonna do this right now?
[HANA]
Don't you dare look back at me!
If you do, you're dead meat.
--[door rattles]
--[HANA whimpers]
Is anyone here?
I guess the nurse stepped out.
But after Kiyoshi got hurt,
he had to have come here.
I know, I bet he's resting
on one of the beds!
[BOTH]
Oh, shit!
[HANA]
If she comes in
[KIYOSHI]
she's gonna see us like this!
[HANA whimpering]
[KIYOSHI whimpering]
[CHIYO]
Excuse me.
[MARI]
Excuse me.
[CHAIRMAN gasps]
You're looking rather wooden.
Strained my back.
What can I do to help you?
Speak.
I've come to report
an act of violence
committed earlier today by
Joe, one of the prisoners.
Act of violence, you say?
And of course,
it's impossible that
you might have blown things
a bit out of proportion.
Right?
It's no exaggeration!
He threw the Vice President
--aside, then charged at--
--[phone rings]
[ringing continues]
[MARI] The phone
You going to answer that?
Well, that's strange.
Where could he have gone?
[KIYOSHI pants]
[HANA]
Don't you dare make a sound.
And don't even think of moving.
[KIYOSHI] Oh no.
We're too close.
[whimpers]
Her breath. I can feel
her breath, and then--
We're both exposed.
Not wearing nothing down there!
And at this range,
I can't hide it!
Please, Chiyo!
Hurry up and get out of here!
[HANA gasps]
What is that?
[KIYOSHI]
I'm so sorry.
I'm not doing it
on purpose, I swear.
I can't stop it!
[HANA] Something's
poking me in the leg.
[gasps]
And it-- it just keeps growing!
[KIYOSHI]
It's not my fault!
We're just too close!
Maybe the nurse had already
finished treating him.
That's gotta mean that he
wasn't wounded too badly.
Oh, well. I'll see him later.
[KIYOSHI gasps]
I'm super freaking sorry!
I didn't mean to do it!
I couldn't turn it off!
It has a mind of its own!
[phone rings]
[CHAIRMAN] Yes, when the
phone rings, one answers it.
Excuse me.
[CHAIRMAN]
Hello? No.
I told you, you don't have to
plant sponge gourds this year!
And don't call me at work
for something like that! Bye!
I don't know why the
HOA is so obsessed with
growing their own loofahs--
[gasps]
Now don't get the wrong idea.
It's an orthopedic mouse pad.
--Honest!
--I am sure it is.
Not any of my business, anyway.
[CHAIRMAN] My wrist has
been acting up lately,
and this gives the
right amount of support.
[MARI]
Pardon me.
[MARI] We need to shift the
Destroy Testicles Operation
into high gear.
The time has come to
intensify our plans.
[SHINGO]
What the hell was that about?!
You're being too loud.
Lower your voice, Ponyboy.
[SHINGO] I called Joe
away like you asked me to,
but I didn't know you were
gonna screw with his ants.
It's like you made me
set Joe up for a fall!
[scoffs]
Is that all?
Are you kidding me?
If that's the kind of
work you want me to do,
then I'm not gonna--
[MEIKO]
Not gonna what?
Go on. You won't do
what I tell you anymore?
You don't seem to realize
the position that you're in.
Fine! If you won't do as I say,
I can inform your
prisoner buddies that
you've been spying on them
for special treatment.
[SHINGO]
No
What will they think when they
find out all the fancy foods
their good pal Shingo
has been pigging out on?
--Not to mention--
--[SHINGO groans]
When they learn how
trustworthy you are.
Just keep going the
way you've been going,
and things will work out fine.
Do we have an understanding,
you miserable sack of shit?
Yeah.
Get your ass back
to work now, Maggot!
And if you pull any more
crap like yesterday,
you're out of here for good!
Poor Joe! Are you okay, man?
You look so thin!
So, were they starving
you down in solitary?
Nah, I got three squares a day.
[coughs] I even got dessert.
[KIYOSHI] Joe looks like
he's gonna be all right.
Hey, Numb-Nuts!
What are you staring
off into space for?
Get back to work, Prick.
Right! My bad.
[KIYOSHI] Aww man, she's
giving me the stink eye.
She must be pissed about
what went down at the clinic.
[HANA]
I remember everything up until
Kiyoshi and I hid under the bed.
I've got the sneaking suspicion
something truly horrifying
happened But what?
[MEIKO] Okay, five minute
break, Butt-Sniffers!
Kiyoshi, get up and
bring me that kettle.
[KIYOSHI]
Huh?
I said bring it.
[KIYOSHI]
Here we go again.
[JOE]
Get it yourself.
Hey, bro, what the hell's
the matter with you?
--He screwed all of us over!
--I think you've been acting
like a spoiled brat
for long enough.
Shut your piehole.
[SHINGO grunts]
[SHINGO grunts]
[BOTH]
Uh
[MEIKO]
Break's over!
Back to work, now!
[SHINGO]
Tch.
[MEIKO]
Hey, Shingo.
--[SHINGO gasps]
--[MEIKO] Come with me.
I have a different
job in store for you.
Yes, ma'am.
[JOE]
Want some?
Sure, thanks.
You saved me.
Yesterday, if you hadn't
stopped me by jumping in front.
They'd be taking me
to a real prison today.
Thanks.
Yeah. It's no big deal, man.
My body just did
that on its own.
Don't try playing the cool hero,
after you got a stick
jammed up your ass.
[KIYOSHI]
Dude, you're the one
who jammed it in
there, Turd-Breath.
[JOE laughs]
--You're right. Sorry.
--[BOTH laugh]
You know, the worst part is that
none of this should've
ever happened.
I guess I have a lot
to learn about ants.
[KIYOSHI]
Maybe not.
Huh?
But How do I put it?
Something about
that lunch break.
I could sense the
weirdness in the air.
The whole Underground Student
Council was sitting in the yard.
And they're never
there together.
One other thing.
[JOE]
What's that?
I couldn't clearly make out
what they were
saying to each other,
but I definitely
think I got the gist.
[SHINGO]
Wait
This is my normal uniform.
For the next two hours,
you have my permission
to leave the campus.
[SHINGO gasps]
So why don't you put on
that uniform, head out,
and have yourself some fun?
I can leave the school?
[MEIKO]
Didn't I just say you could?
Besides, why would I lie to you?
[KIYOSHI]
Next time on Prison School:
"Meiko's Delicious Restaurant"