Squiddly Diddly (1965) s01e06 Episode Script
Sea Grunt
I'll give me a home where the
octoppy roam at the whales.
And the manta rays plays.
Where never is heard
any kinds of harsh words.
- Squiddly!
- Huh?
What in the dickly are you
doing out of your tank again?
Hey, stop.
Whoa!
I can't, chief.
- I'm out of control.
- Squiddly!
- Yes chief?
- Look out for that pole.
Pole?
This never happens
to me underwater.
Now try to be on your
good behavior today.
There's a TV show here
shooting some location scenes.
Really? You mean TV stars and
all that Hollywood stuff?
Exactly, so keep out of trouble.
We can't afford any of
your silly escapades.
I don't suppose the
chief would mind
if I just watch them
shoot a few scenes.
Places everyone.
We've got to wrap up
these action scenes
for the Floyd Ridge
show today.
Now, you in the octopus suit.
You attack Floyd and he,
of course,
wipes you out as usual.
All right, rolling.
Make this a good one, men.
I want realism.
Good, good.
Now send the double
for the dangerous part.
Grr.
Splendid, splendid.
Now back in with Floyd.
Very good, Floyd.
You are terrific. In fact,
you were wonderful.
What a magnificent actor.
Uh, you in the octopus suit.
- You were good too.
- Oh, yeah?
Well I'm tired of getting
beat up for a living.
I quit. Besides your
octopus suit is full of holes.
Oh, this is terrible.
No actor, no octopus suit.
The show will be ruined.
My talent lost to the world.
Now where can I find
another octopus suit.
Hey, you in the octopus suit.
How would you like
to rent it to me?
Huh? Well I
Come on.
Come on, take it off.
Take it off!
Hey.
You're a for real octopus.
Well, I'm not an art for it.
How would you like
to be a big TV star?
Me, a TV star?
Well I
It's a deal, you start
to work immediately.
Oh, gosh!
I don't even have
to wait overnight.
To become an overnight star.
Into the water, Squiddly.
This is one of your big scenes
with our star, Floyd Ridges.
Imagine me, co-starring
with Floyd Ridges.
Send in the double.
Rolling.
Gee, Floyd sure looks
bigger underwater.
Ouch!
I wonder if this
is what they mean
by being tied up
with one studio.
Beautiful, beautiful.
This will be waffle box office.
All right, let's put some
feeling into the scene, fellas.
Places, everyone.
Double in, on the double.
Ouch!
Terrific! What realism.
If it's any realer.
I'm finished.
Relax, Squiddly.
I think you just
won an academy award.
Only I'll have to
accept it in a wheelchair.
Maybe you better get
somebody else.
You don't want to quit now.
Your next scene is
with a mermaid.
A mermaid?
Well, That's more like it.
Good! Good!
Now into the water.
Send in the double.
This is where Floyd
rescues the mermaid.
My kind of scene.
Lots of violence.
Now this is the
way to make pictures.
Floyd again?
I think I've had
it with acting.
I'll hide in this clam shell
until the scene is finished.
How did Floyd Ridges get here.
Oh, boy!
They sure have some
sneaky writers at this show.
How do I do it?
What acting!
What acting.
Floyd, my boy.
You were brilliant.
That was a magnificent
rehearsal.
Yeah, rehearsal?
Now we're ready to
get it all on film.
Places, everyone.
The only place for me is my
own private tank of water.
All right, Squiddly.
Let's have it what
have you been up to.
Well those TV people
had an open part.
And they cast me in it and I.
You? In a TV show?
Well, that's ridiculous.
If there's an open
part I should get it.
After all I run this place.
You know I don't have
the heart to tell him.
Well of course you
may have the part.
I know a born actor
when I see one.
- Here's your costume.
- Oh.
Thank you, thank you.
Can I help it if I'm talented.
This is it.
Places everyone.
Lights, camera, action!
Oh, if mother could
only see me now.
Hey! What the
Help!
Watch it with that
spear, it's sharp.
Hey, wait.
Get it out!
Hold everything.
Ouch!
Out, out, out!
Help!
Hold everything.
Out, out, out!
You know something,
this is my kind of showbiz.
On the outside, looking in.
octoppy roam at the whales.
And the manta rays plays.
Where never is heard
any kinds of harsh words.
- Squiddly!
- Huh?
What in the dickly are you
doing out of your tank again?
Hey, stop.
Whoa!
I can't, chief.
- I'm out of control.
- Squiddly!
- Yes chief?
- Look out for that pole.
Pole?
This never happens
to me underwater.
Now try to be on your
good behavior today.
There's a TV show here
shooting some location scenes.
Really? You mean TV stars and
all that Hollywood stuff?
Exactly, so keep out of trouble.
We can't afford any of
your silly escapades.
I don't suppose the
chief would mind
if I just watch them
shoot a few scenes.
Places everyone.
We've got to wrap up
these action scenes
for the Floyd Ridge
show today.
Now, you in the octopus suit.
You attack Floyd and he,
of course,
wipes you out as usual.
All right, rolling.
Make this a good one, men.
I want realism.
Good, good.
Now send the double
for the dangerous part.
Grr.
Splendid, splendid.
Now back in with Floyd.
Very good, Floyd.
You are terrific. In fact,
you were wonderful.
What a magnificent actor.
Uh, you in the octopus suit.
- You were good too.
- Oh, yeah?
Well I'm tired of getting
beat up for a living.
I quit. Besides your
octopus suit is full of holes.
Oh, this is terrible.
No actor, no octopus suit.
The show will be ruined.
My talent lost to the world.
Now where can I find
another octopus suit.
Hey, you in the octopus suit.
How would you like
to rent it to me?
Huh? Well I
Come on.
Come on, take it off.
Take it off!
Hey.
You're a for real octopus.
Well, I'm not an art for it.
How would you like
to be a big TV star?
Me, a TV star?
Well I
It's a deal, you start
to work immediately.
Oh, gosh!
I don't even have
to wait overnight.
To become an overnight star.
Into the water, Squiddly.
This is one of your big scenes
with our star, Floyd Ridges.
Imagine me, co-starring
with Floyd Ridges.
Send in the double.
Rolling.
Gee, Floyd sure looks
bigger underwater.
Ouch!
I wonder if this
is what they mean
by being tied up
with one studio.
Beautiful, beautiful.
This will be waffle box office.
All right, let's put some
feeling into the scene, fellas.
Places, everyone.
Double in, on the double.
Ouch!
Terrific! What realism.
If it's any realer.
I'm finished.
Relax, Squiddly.
I think you just
won an academy award.
Only I'll have to
accept it in a wheelchair.
Maybe you better get
somebody else.
You don't want to quit now.
Your next scene is
with a mermaid.
A mermaid?
Well, That's more like it.
Good! Good!
Now into the water.
Send in the double.
This is where Floyd
rescues the mermaid.
My kind of scene.
Lots of violence.
Now this is the
way to make pictures.
Floyd again?
I think I've had
it with acting.
I'll hide in this clam shell
until the scene is finished.
How did Floyd Ridges get here.
Oh, boy!
They sure have some
sneaky writers at this show.
How do I do it?
What acting!
What acting.
Floyd, my boy.
You were brilliant.
That was a magnificent
rehearsal.
Yeah, rehearsal?
Now we're ready to
get it all on film.
Places, everyone.
The only place for me is my
own private tank of water.
All right, Squiddly.
Let's have it what
have you been up to.
Well those TV people
had an open part.
And they cast me in it and I.
You? In a TV show?
Well, that's ridiculous.
If there's an open
part I should get it.
After all I run this place.
You know I don't have
the heart to tell him.
Well of course you
may have the part.
I know a born actor
when I see one.
- Here's your costume.
- Oh.
Thank you, thank you.
Can I help it if I'm talented.
This is it.
Places everyone.
Lights, camera, action!
Oh, if mother could
only see me now.
Hey! What the
Help!
Watch it with that
spear, it's sharp.
Hey, wait.
Get it out!
Hold everything.
Ouch!
Out, out, out!
Help!
Hold everything.
Out, out, out!
You know something,
this is my kind of showbiz.
On the outside, looking in.