The Andy Griffith Show (1960) s01e06 Episode Script

( whistling sprightly tune)
starring Andy Griffith
with Ronny Howard.
Also starring Don Knotts.
Bang!
Bang!
Hey, it's the Sheriff.
He ain't taking us in.
I'm a-drawing on
you, Sheriff. Draw.
Aw, why don't
you turn yourself in
peaceful-like, son?
You'll get a fair trial.
No. I'm the fastest
gun in the West.
Well, you're the
shortest, I'll say that.
Bang! Bang!
I got him.
Dang if you didn't.
Why did you want to go
and shoot your own Paw for?
I told you to draw.
Besides, you're the sheriff
and I'm Billy the kid.
And you're dead.
Go on, Paw.
You got to fall down and die.
Well, I'll tell you
the truth, son.
I just got other things to do.
I'm just too blame
busy to die right now.
Aw, shucks.
I'll die a little later
on if I get the chance.
What do you think, fellas?
Should we wait?
Nah. Let's go down to
the creek and hunt Indians.
Hey, I've got an idea how
we can have some fun.
Yeah? How?
Let's push the sheriff's
car in front of the fireplug.
I don't know about that.
It's just for a joke.
Then it'll look like
the sheriff himself
don't know no better
than to park in
front of the fireplug.
Come on, Tommy,
get behind and push.
You, too, Opie, and
I'll let out the brake.
Okay, but I ain't sheriff
so I ain't gonna push very hard.
Brake's off.
Push.
Come on, Tommy, push.
Come on, Opie.
( whistling)
Andy?
Hmm?
I got something to say.
Well, say it.
Remember when you deputized me?
Yeah.
Well, do you remember
what you said?
No, not exactly.
Well, you said
"Barney, an officer of the law
"is bound to uphold the law
"even if the person breaking it
is friend or kinfolk."
Yeah?
You said that "here in Mayberry
"there ain't hardly nobody
that ain't friend or kin.
"And we let folks
off on that basis
why, we ain't never
gonna be arresting nobody."
Yeah, it appears to me
I might have said that.
Well, cousin Andy,
operating on that basis
now, here's the citation
for parking your vehicle
in front of a fireplug.
Sign right there
where the "x" is.
See, it's right there.
I know where the "x" is.
I didn't park my car
in front of no fireplug.
You didn't?
No.
Well, just take a look.
Well, I'm going to.
Well, I'll be dogged.
I know I didn't park
in front of that fireplug.
Are you signing this
citation or ain't you?
Well, no, I ain't.
In that case, I'm just
gonna have to run you in.
Well, I am in.
Well, then I'm gonna
have to haul you up
in front of the
Justice of the Peace.
Oh, darn it, Andy.
You are the
Justice of the Peace.
How can I haul you
up in front of yourself?
You got a point there, Barney.
I'll tell you what
I'll do with you.
What?
I'll make you the
Justice of the Peace
and you try me.
Oh, I can't be the justice
All righty.
All right, raise
your right hand.
You promise to
give me a fair trial?
I do.
All right, take your place.
We'll just see
if you can beat this rap now.
( clearing throat)
Uh, what do I do now?
Call the court to order.
( gavel pounds)
Court's in order.
Now, ask me, ask me how I plead.
How do you plead, your honor?
No it's "Your Honor."
Oh, yeah.
How do you plead?
Not guilty.
Not guilty?
Ask me what I got
to say for myself.
Uh, what do you got
to say for yourself?
Well, Your Honor
sit down.
Well, Your Honor
I'm, uh, I'm an honest
man, an honest sheriff.
Right, Your Honor?
Yeah, that's right.
Ask me to speak up.
What?
Ask me to speak up.
Oh. Speak up!
How long have we known
one another, Your Honor?
Well, I guess
We've always gotten along
pretty good all that time,
right, Your Honor? Yeah
We've served
together as law officers
and fished and hunted
together as friends,
right, Your Honor?
Yeah, and I've enjoyed it.
Do you think I run an
honest sheriff's office here?
Yes. Do you think
I'm an honest man?
Yeah. You ever known me
to do anything outside the law?
Well, no. I always
live inside the law.
Is that right, Your Honor?
That's right. How
long have I been
parking in front of
this jail, Your Honor?
Well, I
Did you ever know me
to park in front of a fireplug?
Well, no, not until
I say again, Your
Honor, I'm an honest man
and an honest sheriff,
and I've been parking
my car in front of this jail
for more than five
years now, right?
That's right.
I couldn't possibly have parked
in front of that fireplug,
knowing the law as I do.
Well, you'd think not.
Could I have willfully
and deliberately
have committed such a violation?
Well, no
I say there is
mischief going on here.
Mischief.
I say somebody
deliberately pushed my car
in front of that fireplug
That's possible.
Making me, me
the innocent victim
of circumstantial evidence.
That's awful.
Oh, there is foul play
afoot here, Your Honor.
That's terrible.
I say this whole thing
is a travesty on
justice. Terrible.
I throw myself at the
mercy of the court.
Not guilty!
Hi, Paw.
Hi, son.
What's the matter with Barney?
Oh, he tried to give me a ticket
for parking my car
in front of a fireplug.
I reckon I better move it.
Paw?
In a second.
I still can't figure out
how my car got in
front of that fireplug.
I know how, Paw.
You do?
Yeah. Steve and Tommy
and me pushed it there.
You gonna arrest them?
I think you could get a
confession out of 'em.
Well, uh, why shouldn't
I arrest you, too?
I didn't push very hard.
Oh, I see. Yeah, that
does make a difference.
Well, uh, how come
they pushed my car
in front of the fireplug?
Oh, just for a joke, Paw.
We got tired of playing cowboys
and we just had to do something.
Oh, I see.
Well, seeing as how they meant
no harm, and no harm's done,
why, we can just
forget it. You want to?
That's good, Paw, 'cause
they're my best friends
and I promised I
wouldn't tell on 'em.
Well, so long, Paw.
So long, Opie.
Hey, uh, wait a minute.
What, uh, what was that
you said about your friends
and you promised you
wouldn't tell on 'em?
I said that they're
my best friends
and I promised I
wouldn't tell on 'em.
Well, uh, if they're
your best friends
and you promised
you wouldn't tell on 'em,
well, uh, how come you did?
Well, I guess
I just figured you
ought to know, Paw.
Well, so long, Paw.
Well, now, wait a
minute. Wait a minute.
Now, I'm going to
tell you something.
I appreciate you
being loyal to your Paw
and telling on your friends.
And most of all, I appreciate
that you couldn't let something
look like it was my fault
when you and
your friends done it.
Oh, that shows
mighty fine character.
Mighty fine.
It does, Paw?
It sure does.
And if I had a mighty fine
character medal laying around,
I'd sure pin it on you.
I'd sure like to wear one, Paw.
Yeah, but now, on the,
on the other hand, Opie,
when you make a
solemn promise to a friend,
it ain't right to go back on it.
No. Never let your friend down.
Never break a trust.
And-and when you give your word,
never go back on it.
You-you understand that, do you?
Okay, Paw.
You can trust me.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
I'm moving it, Barney.
I'm moving it right now.
( playing gentle melody)
Hi, Ope.
Hi, Paw.
Paw, remember what you said
about never letting
a friend down?
Sure.
Never breaking a promise
or going back on your word?
Right.
You ain't changed
your mind, have ya?
Well, 'course not.
Okay, George, come on up.
Well!
See, George, I told you
my Paw was on our side.
This, here, is George, Paw.
Oh, well, how do, George?
Would you mind calling me Tex?
I'd be happy to oblige.
How do, Tex?
Where you from?
I know everybody in Mayberry.
He's from another
town down the line.
He wants to stay
with us a few days.
Oh, well, happy to have him.
Of course I'll have
to call his ma and pa
and make sure if
it's all right with them.
Paw, you can't.
George is running away
from home to be a cowboy.
He only wants to stay here
until he figures out
whether he wants to
go to Texas or Wyoming.
You mean, his folks don't know?
Aw, Paw, how can you run away
from home if your folks know?
Of course, it kind of takes
the starch out of
the whole thing.
Now, uh, Opie, I'd like to
have Tex stay here with us,
but I can't unless
his folks know.
Now, uh, what's your pa's name
and-and where are you from?
I won't tell you.
Do you know?
Sure.
Well, then, you tell me.
Paw, I promised I
wouldn't tell on him.
Well, now, Opie, his ma and
pa are gonna be worried sick.
Now, now, come on.
First you say don't
break a solemn promise.
Now you say it's okay to
break a solemn promise.
You're sure mixing me up, Paw.
Oh, well, I'm a mite
confused myself.
Well, all right, I
won't try to find out,
and you don't have to tell me.
You mean it, Paw?
Yeah.
At least till I
can figure it out.
I don't know why I am
always getting my britches
caught on my own pitchfork.
I sure would like
to catch this fella.
$500 is a lot of money.
Yeah, and what would you
do with it though, if you had it?
Well, I wouldn't spend
it on nothing foolish,
I warrant you that.
Not after risking my life
capturing a dangerous criminal.
Put it in the bank,
that's what I'd do.
'Course, with a bank robber
like this fella
running around loose,
I ain't so sure the bank's
a safe place neither.
I could put it
under my mattress.
No, a mattress
ain't gonna count.
You have a fire,
it'll all burn up.
I can't put it there.
I could bury it.
Worms and slugs might get at it.
That's true.
Well, what should
I do with it, then?
It's your money, I ain't
gonna take responsibility.
I tell you one thing, though.
What's that?
You was a much happier
man when you was poor.
Yeah.
( phone ringing)
Mayberry Sherriff's Office.
Town headquarters.
Andy Taylor, Sheriff,
Deputy Barney
Fife speaking. Hello?
Oh, howdy, Sheriff.
It's the Sheriff from
over in Eastmont
Yeah no.
No, not that I know of.
Well, sure, we'll
keep our eyes open.
Yeah.
Give me a piece of paper.
Uh, yeah?
George Foley
eight years old
Blond hair
blue eyes
blue jeans
Yeah yeah, right.
It's a runaway boy.
Sheriff figures he
might have come this far.
I ain't seen no strange
young'uns. Have you?
George Foley from Eastmont.
Yeah. Sheriff says
the boy's pa's
making an awful fuss.
I wouldn't be surprised.
I know how I'd be if
little Opie was missing.
Dadburnit, I'm a sheriff
and I got my duty to do.
Yeah, uh, oh,
where are you going?
Home to get permission
from my son to do it.
Hi, Paw.
Oh, hi, Ope.
Hi, George.
Tex.
Oh, that's right.
Howdy, Tex.
That's where he's
going Texas.
Yeah.
You really sure you
want to go that far?
It's a pretty long trip, Tex.
Being all by yourself that way,
what if you get a tummyache?
Why, who's going
to take care of you?
My horse. They're man's
best friend, you know.
Yeah, but you-you-you might
not get the horse you want.
You might not be
lucky and get a horse
that don't know how to
take care of a tummyache.
I once knew a horse
that didn't even know
how to fix a sore finger.
Played a great guitar but
was nothing with first aid.
Uh Opie, why, uh
Why don't you, uh,
go on in the house
and maybe feed your frog?
Okay, Paw.
( clearing throat)
( door shuts)
Uh Tex, uh
what do you want to
run away from home for?
'Cause I'm tired
of taking orders.
Yeah, well, Tex,
everybody has to take orders
of some kind, even cowboys.
Cowboys?
Well, sure.
Well, nobody would ever tell
a cowboy to pick up his toys.
And if I sleep with my horse,
then I'll never
have to take a bath.
I don't know now.
If the wind shifts, somebody's
going to get after both of you.
Sheriff!
Sheriff I
I got to I got to
talk to you a minute.
Well, uh, Barney,
this-this is George Foley.
Oh, how do you do, George?
Would you excuse us a second?
We got some police work to do.
Sure.
Cute boy.
Yeah. What's up?
Guess what that is.
Well, it looks like a
drawing of some kind.
Yeah. That is the missing
boy from Eastmont.
I drew it from his description
just like they do
in the big cities.
Oh, Barney
Now, remember
what the sheriff said?
Eight years old, blond
hair, blue eyes, blue jeans.
That's the boy. That's him.
I'd know him anywhere.
I could pick him out of
a Sunday school picnic.
Can you pick him out on a porch?
Anyway, now, now, according
to this book I got, you know,
eight-year-old
boys, most of them
have similar physical
characteristics,
but from the description I
got of this George Foley
What did you say that
boy's name was I just met?
That cute little fella that
just went in the house there?
Yeah, that's the one.
George Foley.
George Foley
What's the matter?
Can't you find him?
Well, now, the sheriff
never mentioned nothing
about the boy needing a haircut!
Besides, we're supposed to
go out and track down runaways!
We ain't supposed to
be introduced to them
right on the
sheriff's front porch!
For heaven's sakes!
What's he doing here, anyways?!
Now, Barney, just simmer
down and don't get excited.
The boy's all right.
He's just going to stay
here for a little while.
Here, with you?
That's right.
Well, ain't you gonna
take him home to his folks?
Well, I don't
think I'll have to.
You mean you're gonna
just let him stay here with you
even though you know
he's run away from home?
That's right.
You know what you're doing?!
You're harboring a
runaway and that's illegal!
Now, Barney
That's twice in one day
you've gone afoul of the law.
You keep this up and I'm gonna
have to draw your face next!
Here's the picture
of a little boy.
Here's your sandwich, George,
and the sweet pickles
and marshmallows
and olives and bubble gum.
Thanks, Opie.
( door shuts)
George is going
to Texas now, Paw.
I packed him a lunch.
Yeah, what'd you fix?
A peanut butter and
sardine sandwich.
Oh well, I, uh
I don't believe that'll
be near enough.
Better fix a few more.
Okay, Paw.
Okay.
( uneasy chuckle)
Uh, Tex
How, uh
How many sandwiches
can you eat in a day?
Maybe four or nine.
Yeah.
Well, I reckon a
big fella like you
could hike, what,
five miles a day.
Sure.
Yeah. Well, you ought
to be in Texas, then,
in, oh, six months easy.
Let's see, four sandwiches
a day for six months
Well, that's more
than 600 sandwiches.
How in the world are
you going to carry 'em?
I got a wagon at home.
Well, I've never seen a
cowboy pulling a wagon
full of sandwiches.
Th-That just ain't western, Tex.
It ain't?
Naw.
I don't believe Wells Fargo
ever delivered a single
peanut butter sandwich.
How big is this wagon
of yours anyhow?
'Cause you're going
to need to carry
some other stuff, you know
Blankets, pillows and
pajamas and stuff like that
and then some snowshoes
for the mountains.
It gets pretty cold up there.
I haven't got any.
No snowshoes?
( whistles)
I'm worried about you, Tex.
A good cowboy never
starts out on a trip
unless he's prepared.
If I wait till August
till after my birthday,
maybe I'll get
snowshoes for a present.
Well, maybe.
I'd be older, too.
Do you think maybe
I ought to go home
and wait till August?
Well, that, that's up to you.
Well, If you're going to
Texas, you better get started.
It's getting on close to 5:00.
Five o'clock?
Ma is getting supper going.
And if she's making pork
chops and fried apple rings,
she makes the house smell good.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
A meal like that is as much
fun sniffing as it is eating.
Too bad that ain't
cowboy rations.
It ain't?
No, no.
Reckon what your pa's up to.
He's home from work now,
and if he ain't too tired,
we have a game of catch.
Except I ain't there.
Yeah, that's right,
and it's a pretty
good long throw
from Eastmont over here.
Well, if he wants to play,
why don't he come get me?
Well, son, he don't know
where you are to
come and get you.
Well, then, why didn't he call?
Well, he don't know to.
Far as your Pa knows,
why, you're on
the runaway trail.
You reckon I better call him?
Well, you could.
You reckon you
could call him for me?
I reckon.
Tell you what I'll
do. I'll call your pa
and tell him I'm
bringing you home.
And your ma can throw
in another pork chop
and your pa can start warming
up in the bullpen, all right?
Now, you go on upstairs
and get freshened up
and me and Opie will
drive you home. Okay.
Okay.
Sarah?
Cou-Cou-Could you get me a
Mr. Foley in Eastmont, please?
Yeah.
Opie!
I ain't finished making
the extra sandwiches, Paw.
I'm making him a peanut
butter and baloney,
peanut butter and liverwurst
and one with just peanut
butter and peanut butter.
Well, George won't
be needing them now.
He decided not to
run away after all.
He did?
How come?
Now, well, you see, son
Hello?
Mr. Foley.
Mr. Foley, this is Sheriff
Taylor over in Mayberry.
I just wanted to tell you
that your boy's been with me.
Oh, he's fine as a daisy.
Yes, sir.
Yeah, well, we'll be, we'll be
bringing him home
here in a little bit.
Ah, you're welcome.
Yes.
You see, son
You told.
You broke your word.
Well, I You promised
you wouldn't tell,
Well, I but you did.
You said, "Never
let a friend down,"
but that's just what you did.
You let me down.
Well, now, whoa, wait a minute.
I didn't let you down.
Oh oh.
You think that I gave
you a set of rules
and told you to follow them
and then I went and broke 'em.
You did break 'em.
Well, uh
Uh
Well, now, let me see.
Uh
Suppose, uh
Suppose, suppose
there was a little lake
and there was a sign on it
saying, "No swimming allowed."
Now, that's a law.
And a law is pretty much
the same thing as a
rule. Ain't that right?
Well, now, suppose
suppose it was a little
boy and he broke that law
and went swimming
anyway and started to drown.
Now, suppose there was a fella
standing there watching.
Now, should he obey the
law and let that little boy drown
or should he break the
law and save the little boy?
Well he couldn't
let him drown.
Well, of course not.
And I couldn't let George's pa
and ma worry themselves sick
of wondering whatever
happened to him.
Besides that, there was
an awful lot of busy folks
out spending a lot of
time looking for him.
So, well, that's, uh,
that's kind of the
same thing, ain't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess so, Paw.
You see, son
rules are very important things,
but sometimes they
seem to get in the way
when we're trying
to help somebody.
So, what we do
in a case like that,
we don't exactly break 'em,
we just bend them a little bit.
You understand that, do you?
Yeah, Paw.
Okay.
George, you about ready?
GEORGE: Coming!
You know something?
I don't believe old Tex
is going to have a hankering
to run out on his ma and pa
anymore right soon.
( both chuckling)
Paw?
Huh?
Can I run off sometime?
Huh?
I wouldn't go too far, Paw.
Just overnight someplace.
And I'd let you
know where I was.
And, say
maybe you'd like to come along.
Hey, Opie, I got an idea.
Let's push Barney's car
in front of the fireplug there
and I'll write him out a
citation like he done me.
That'll get his dander up.
No, Barney'll have a fit.
( laughing)
BARNEY: Well, tampering
unlawfully with a vehicle, huh?
That's a mighty serious offense.
( whistling sprightly tune)