The Rockford Files (1974) s01e06 Episode Script

1
I got this giant hatred for private
detectives. It's a cop disease.
You guys sweep in here like
big turtle-necked vultures.
You stomp around in my garden,
then you split.
Look, hotshot,
I've been having a terrible day.
I got two loose teeth
that have been killing me.
I'll subpoena you
for the trial.
You haven't lived till you've
tried to serve me with a subpoena.
You got a soft spot
I could hit blindfolded.
Your ethics are lousy.
What kind of ethics
must a private detective have?
You can't be that stupid.
Sure, I can.
I've been doing stupid things all day.
This is Jim Rockford,
At the tone, leave your name
and message.
I'll get back to you.
You really want
Shim on the seventh?
Come on, that nag couldn't go a mile
in the back of a pickup truck. Call me.
Announcing the
departure of TransGlobal Aloha
Flight 402
to Honolulu, Tokyo, and Hong Kong.
New departing at Gate 32A,
Maintenance porter to TransGlobal
service counter, please,.
Arriving passengers
from Newark
please report to TransGlobal's
passenger service counter.
Mr. Jameson, please.
This is Jim Rockford.
Yes, sir. I'm back.
It's hard to say.
I really don't know.
Something
happened back there
a little weird,
but I'll fill you in.
No, sir. I'd really like
to go take a shower
and get changed. I'll drive up to
your place sometime this evening.
Yes, sir, fine. Thank you.
TransGlobal
Skycap to baggage area,.
Motor vehicles,
may I help you?
Registration, please.
One moment, sir,
I'll connect you.
Registration, may I help you?
Miss Brown speaking.
I sure hope so, honey.
My friend Eddie said maybe you could help.
But if you can't,
I don't know what I'm going to do.
Unless I see it again, which I
probably won't. I mean there must be
eight million gray Chevys
in the city of Los Angeles,.
Maybe you could start
at the beginning, sir.
I'm awful sorry,
but I'm real excited.
You see, I've been
saving up for two years
to buy this one
certain kind of car.
And I was driving down
Melrose Blvd., and I seen it.
It was just beautiful,
It's a '67 gray Chevy coupe.
It's got a custom vinyl top, mag wheels.
Just the whole thing.
Just the way I wanted it.
Anyway, this guy had a "for
sale" sign in the back window
and it had
a telephone number on it.
I tried to catch up with him, but I
missed the light. I almost got a ticket.
And Eddie, my friend,
he was with me in the car.
He got the license number,
and he told me
maybe you could
tell me who owned it.
Well, I'm not sure.
We're not supposed to do that.
I see.
You see, Eddie, I told you
she can't do that.
That's against the rules
or something.
Look, maybe I could
sneak a peek.
What was the license number on that?
Wait a minute.
It's 2-3-8
W-X-C.
Like in Charlie,
One moment.
That's registered
to a Martin Fishback
237 Wilson Dr,, Los Angeles,.
237. Honey, thank you.
I really appreciate that.
Maybe I could return
the favor sometime. Thank you.
Would I be too nosy
to ask what you guys want?
Shut up and get in.
I suppose you're the guys
who went through my place.
I thought I told you
to shut up.
Tell me what you want.
I'll probably give it to you.
I want you
to shut up, Rockford.
Understand? Shut up.
Right. You want it,
you got it.
All right, what do I do now?
You can take
those off, Rockford.
I don't know
what's going on
but believe me,
I don't want any trouble.
You already got trouble.
The only question is whether you're gonna
wake up tomorrow breathing air or dirt.
Come on. There's no need
to be melodramatic.
We've been watching you, Rockford,
and we don't like what you're up to.
So far, I'm not
too hot about it, either.
Who are you working for?
Now wait a minute.
We don't have much time.
Who is your client?
That's a little tough.
Who are you working for?
Let me finish my sentence
this time, all right?
I'd like to tell you.
I really would.
But it's professional ethics,
sort of
not to reveal
who your client is.
Now if it's all right with you
guys, I'd like to call my client
from a pay phone and ask him if it's
all right if I give you his name.
If he says it's okay,
I give it to you.
Just one call, that's all.
But I really should check first.
How about it?
You lose.
Wait a minute.
Where are you going?
Is it worth it, Mr. Rockford?
Is it really that important to you?
Think about it.
I'd be interested to know.
Think about what? I don't even
know what you guys are all about.
What's going on?
I thought you understood.
We're making the arrangements.
It'll be about five minutes.
You see, Mr. Rockford,
you're dead.
ls it worth it, Mr. Rockford?
Is it really
that important to you?
Think about it.
I'd be interested to know,.
I am ready for a drink.
I want another drink.
Boy, it's really something, isn't it?
Yeah, it sure is.
There he is.
That good-looking one
in the blazer.
So that's Mark?
Come on,
I'll introduce you.
Now don't say too much.
Be reserved and offhand.
You mean, I can't slap him on
the back and call him buddy?
Hardly.
Kathy!
Loren. How are you?
Loren Tarr, Jim Rockford.
Hi, Jim.
I haven't seen you
around here before.
I haven't been here before.
Jim's an old friend of mine.
No kidding? That's great.
What do you do, Jim?
He's a corporate
insurance profile analyst.
But my brother sells
used cars in Montana.
Yeah.
Say, Kathy, how about some backgammon?
Sue and Sybil have a table.
We want a chance
to get some of our money back.
Now come on, you took us
pretty good last time.
Go ahead, honey.
I'll just browse around.
Maybe get something to eat,
spill something on my shirt.
Jim's such a kidder.
Go ahead, have fun.
Nice to meet you, Loren.
Scotch on the rocks, please.
Are you really
a private detective?
You must be mistaken.
I'm a corporate profile analyst.
What the devil is that?
I rummage around
little companies.
Dredge up tax loopholes,
that sort of thing.
He said
you're a private detective.
Him?
Yeah, him.
I bet you don't even know what a
corporate profile analyst does.
Sure I do, sort of.
It's true.
You are a detective.
I think that's marvelous.
You do?
Sure. You're the first
private detective I ever met.
Let's just keep it
between ourselves.
A thing like that gets out
in a place like this
I start growing bouncers
from both arms.
It's a deal.
I'm Susan Jameson.
Jim Rockford.
If you worked in
one of my companies
and kept me waiting the way
you did this afternoon
I'd warn you once.
If it happened again, I'd fire you.
That's one of the advantages
of my job, Mr. Jameson.
I don't have to put up
with remarks like that.
Pity we aren't
the same age.
I could take you out
behind the woodshed
and we could
bash it around for a while.
I don't go in
for that kind of thing.
Did you see Mark?
Yeah.
And?
I think he spends too much
time under the sun lamp.
I could have told you that
without paying you $200 a day.
He's also had
his nose fixed.
Your daughter
was out there.
What do you expect?
She's engaged to the man.
You're still
pulling to the right.
You're gonna have to anchor
that set screw.
You know, we do seem to grate
on each other a bit, don't we?
I don't think
that would happen
if I carried a briefcase
and wore a tie.
I think the problem is that
you just don't have anything
that I want bad enough
to go to all that trouble.
What else did you find out?
Iran a check on him through
some of my own sources
and I didn't come up
with any more than you did.
He's so clean he squeaks.
No police record.
Good credit references.
Honorable discharge
from the Navy.
Two special merit citations for
action off the waters in North Korea.
He put out a fire in a gun
battery and saved two guys.
Mark Chalmers
is a real gold-plate special.
Everything about the guy
is phony.
I've played handball with him.
That Ivy League accent of his
is a phony, too.
Get him down a couple of points
and a New Jersey accent pops out.
Real gutter Jersey.
He's a sharpshooter of some kind,
and we're gonna end up proving it.
I want to talk to you
about that, too.
I think I'll drop out.
I just don't like this sort of thing.
What sort of thing?
Helping frustrated old men break
up their daughters' romances.
It just makes me feel like I'm
taking anything that comes along.
I'll send you a bill.
You're through
when I say you're through.
Would you mind putting that thing away?
I'm afraid of guns.
I've booked you
on a flight to Newark.
The plane leaves at 4:00
this afternoon.
Maybe you didn't hear
what I said.
You'll do what I say
or I'll make a few calls
to the local power structure.
They're friends of mine.
In 10 minutes
you'll have civil servants
dropping out of trees on you.
That trailer of yours
doesn't look like R1 zoning to me.
Maybe get it moved.
Have your income tax return
bounced.
Maybe have the cops
review that investigator's
license of yours.
I shoot a mean game
of dirty pool.
Think about it.
You really
shouldn't threaten me.
You got a soft spot
I could hit blindfolded.
What are you
talking about?
All I have to do
is call your daughter
and tell her you're having
Mark investigated.
Your ethics are lousy.
Yeah, I know.
Why don't we just break
and go to neutral corners?
I'll send you a hi”.
You pay me my fee
and we'll stay out of
each other's way. All right?
Now wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
This isn't going
to be easy for me.
I'm not used
to saying please
but I am going
to say please.
Please, Mr. Rockford.
I know
I probably do seem like a frustrated
old man to you. Maybe I am.
But my only child
is about to marry that phony.
Don't you see what it's doing to me?
You can't let me down now.
I need your help, Rockford.
And you want me because we
get along so good. Is that it?
You won't take anything
from me.
You probably won't take
anything from anybody else.
I think you know
what you're doing.
Why do you want me
to go to Newark?
Because Mark
Here are some photographs
of him, by the way.
He once mentioned
a certain street in Newark.
It's a street that people who don't
live in Newark always mispronounce.
They call it "Tal-ma-dige,"
the way it's spelled.
Mark pronounced it
correctly
and when I asked him if he'd ever
lived there, he got very uptight.
And he said no.
I think he's lying.
What do you say?
Coach?
Rockford?
Right, Jim Rockford.
Jim, I'm going to give it
to you straight
because I don't want we should have
no problems about this later on.
You see, my trouble is
I got this giant hatred for private
detectives. Now you've probably heard of it.
It's a cop disease.
You guys sweep in here like
big turtle-necked vultures.
You stomp around in my garden,
and then you split.
Leaving me stuck with a mess.
So here you go, sport.
Now you want my advice
you pick up your goodies,
and you hop a freight out of town.
I'm just trying to
get along, Lieutenant.
I'm checking in like I'm supposed to.
If I turn up anything, I'll give it to you.
I'd just like a little help,
that's all.
I don't want to get along,
Rockford.
I don't want to help you.
I don't want to hear nothing about you.
I only have one interest in you,
and that's in getting you out of this town.
?
Yeah.
The cops there said
you were a flake.
Yeah, well, I
Goodbye, Jim.
You get to the airport
by taking Valley Street
and turning right
at Airport Drive.
Take Valley Street, and right at
Airport Drive. Yeah, I got it.
Lieutenant, if you ever get
to LA
why don't look me up?
We could probably have some fun.
Maybe roll a few drunks,
or something.
Officer Radcliff.
Yes, Lt. Pierson.
There's a private detective by
the name of Jim Rockford in town.
I don't want anyone
identifying the photo
he has of a man
named Mark Chalmers,.
Yes, sir. I'll see to it.
And another thing, make sure no
one gives him access to any file,
Yes, sir.
Don't want any slip-ups.
You understand?
I got you, sir.
♪♪
I asked around, pal.
Nobody seems to know him.
Keep it. My phone number's
on the back.
You said you was at the Holly Motel?
Yeah.
There's some guys in back who might
know him. They know everybody else.
But I can't get in there
for a while.
What? Do you got
a card game going back there?
What are the stakes?
You couldn't cut it.
Costs $50 to buy a hand.
How do you get a seat?
No way, they got to know you.
Well, who's the guy? If he's from
around here, maybe we know him.
I don't want to bother you guys. You're
nice enough to let me sit in your game.
No problem. Couple of guys got
hung up. We had room.
I think Larry's still gonna make it.
Yeah. So who's the guy?
We know a lot of people. Ask around,
maybe we can help you find him.
I got a picture of him with me.
I don't know if he looks like that now.
He probably had a nose job. You know
Hollywood, everybody gets a nose job.
You know something?
Larry could help us in this.
He could run it in that
computer, or something.
Larry?
Yeah, you're in his chair.
When he gets here,
we'll show it to him.
I've already seen
it, Rockford.
This guy's gonna make a movie.
Wants to use the bar for a location.
I think I'll just cash in
my chips and hit the road.
Leave them.
You're kidding.
There's over $200 here.
You're gonna make a movie?
How would you like to make
a documentary?
About our county jail.
On what charge?
Film-flamming friends of
Detective Lt. Larry Pierson.
That's good for
90 days county time, Rockford.
Sentence suspended if you're on
the next flight back to Tinseltown.
You guys are
really something.
You want me in this game
to keep guys like this away.
I'm an hour late,
you give this hustler my chair.
What was that you said,
Larry?
It was Valley Street to Airport
Drive and then turn right?
This is a hot seat, Larry.
All right, I'm leaving.
Just let me get my stuff.
You can tell Lt. Pierson to relax.
He's going to get an ulcer.
Don't know what you're
talking about, friend.
Yeah?
Yeah.
You travel kind of light.
You guys aren't cops?
No.
Who are you?
We're with
the chamber of commerce.
That's funny.
I really like jokes.
I'm trying to get out of town
before the cops have me
swinging a brush hook
on the county roads.
So if you'll let me get my stuff
together, I'll be on my way.
We want a little talk
with you first.
About what?
You've been spreading these around town.
We want to know why.
If you have any information
about him
that relates to his background
here in New Jersey
there's a $5,000 reward.
Sounds like you already know
where he is.
If you gentlemen have
any information, I'll buy.
We want to know why we're giving it.
We're cautious about this kind of thing.
Hi, how's it going?
How about it? Tell us why you wanna know,
we'll tell you what we know. Straight trade.
You tell me what you know
I'll give you the $5,000.
That's a trade.
Who are you working for?
Myself.
I don't think so.
You couldn't come up
with the $5,000.
You buy your underwear
at a discount house.
Why don't you come
to the point?
You don't want the money. You just want
to know who I'm working for, right?
As long as you put it
that way, yeah.
I'm not telling.
You can't be that stupid.
Sure, I can. I've been doing
stupid things all day.
Why don't you two guys head on
back to the chamber of commerce?
Okay.
It really doesn't matter.
I'll tell you what you do, Rockford.
You go back home
and tell your client
what he's doing is very
dangerous and very stupid.
If he wants to be smart, he'll stop
investigating Mark Chalmers. You got that?
Sounds like a threat.
It's not a threat.
It's what you call
sound advice, Mr. Rockford.
Good night.
M-N-U 8-0.
No.
0-8-9.
M-W-N.
0-8
Arriving
passengers from Newark
please report to TransGlobal's
passenger service counter.
Mr. Jameson, please.
This is Jim Rockford.
Yes, sir. I'm back.
It's hard to say.
I really don't know.
Something happened
back there
a little weird.
But I'll fill you in,
Put him in the car.
What do you mean? I'm busting with good
information. You should listen to it.
Put him in the car.
Come on, pal. Have a heart.
I'm sorry about that, pal,
just a reflex action.
Move him out.
Go!
Federal officers! Everybody out
of the car with your hands up.
Come on,
he's got to be kidding.
Get out of the car
with your hands up.
Put it away.
We have attorneys.
I'm Jim Rockford.
I know who you are.
These men took you from your trailer
at approximately 3:15 this afternoon,
apparently against your will.
If you prefer charges and will
agree to testify against them
I'll charge them
with kidnapping.
That's ridiculous.
Tell him, Jim.
You book them. I'll testify.
I'll inform you of your rights.
You are under arrest.
If you do not have an attorney,
one will be provided for you.
I have one.
He makes more in one month than a
creep like you makes in a lifetime.
I should advice you, sir,
anything you say may be used against you.
Want some more coffee?
No, thanks. I'm fine.
Now, if you'll just sign the
complaint, we'll be on our way.
Pal, do you want to do me a favor?
Sure, name it.
Would you tell me
what's going on?
Simple. You sign the complaint.
The federal prosecutor will prosecute.
And these guys will become permanent
members of the federal penitentiary.
That's not what I mean,
and you know it.
You look a little tired.
Why don't you just sign this
and go on back to your trailer,
and get yourself a little shuteye.
Don't you want to know
who I'm working for?
Seems to be
everybody's favorite question.
That's a local matter,
and I'm not interested.
I'm only interested in putting
Torrance Beck in jail.
Now, if you'd just sign this.
Not until I know
what's going on.
Nothing's going on.
Then how come everywhere I go
I keep getting pounded on?
I'm sure you're gonna find
that's all over with now
if you'd just
sign the complaint.
I've changed my mind.
If I'm not under arrest,
I'd like to get out of here.
You don't want to
mess with me, Rockford.
You get difficult and I'm
going to jerk you up tight.
I'm a taxpayer.
Big deal.
Who is Mark Chalmers?
Mark Chalmers? I don't know
who you're talking about.
Like hell you don't.
Rockford, I work for the
Federal Justice Department.
I am attached to the
Organized Crime Strike Force.
Torrance Beck is a member
of organized crime.
I was staked out on him
and I followed Harry to your
trailer, and I saw him pick you up.
I then followed the car
back to Beck's house
and called for assistance. Lucky break.
We got them all on kidnapping.
That's great. You mean,
you were standing outside my trailer
while those two hoods turned my
place into a room full of junk?
That was the only way. I had to wait to see
where it went, and then hope for the best.
I want to get out of here.
Tell them to move.
When you sign the complaint,
Rockford.
Look, hotshot,
I've been having a terrible day.
I got two loose teeth
that have been killing me.
I got this sinking feeling
in the pit of my stomach
that I'm the only guy in the game
that doesn't know what trump is.
I have been followed by criminals
and threatened by cops
and now I come up on you.
You got all the answers and you
stand there like some big, leafy elm.
Fine. You want to play it
that way, that's okay with me.
But I'm not signing that
complaint till I get clued in.
I have told you all that
I could tell you.
Then let me outta here,
or I'm going to slap a lawsuit on you.
I'll subpoena you
for the trial.
You haven't lived till you've
tried to serve me with a subpoena.
That's one of my career specialties:
ducking process servers.
Okay, Mr. Rockford, you can go.
But if you'd like a little advice
from a representative
of your federal government
go out and buy yourself
an extra toothbrush
and then pack it
in your wallet.
You try to arrest me
on some trumped-up charge
and I'm going to testify
against my federal government.
And Torrance Beck is going to get away
Scot-free and charge you with false arrest.
It's been swell.
Come in.
Hi.
What are you doing?
Just what it looks like.
I was getting ready to rap you
on the head with an ashtray.
I like the way
you rearranged the furniture.
Looks nice.
That's just what I need
right now, Rocky.
A bunch of smart remarks about
what this place looks like.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.
What did happen, anyway?
I got slapped around in here.
I'm still waiting
for somebody to tell me why.
You mean, you don't know why?
That don't make sense.
I know. I'm thinking of
quitting this case I'm on.
Now that does make sense.
If you want my opinion
you should quit
the whole lousy racket.
I'm thinking about that, too.
As long as you're quitting
it don't make no difference that
you stood up a fellow named
Warren Jameson.
Warner Jameson?
Yeah, that's the one.
He called me.
Got my number out of
the phone book, I guess.
Did you know that there's only
three Rockfords in the phone book?
There's you, there's me.
There's that guy from Detroit
that got beat up
'cause they thought
he was you.
That little guy
with the broken glasses?
What did Jameson say?
He said that he was on his way
up to his country home.
And he was up there then
and he was waiting for you,
but you didn't show, and where was you?
Good, let him cool his heels
for a while.
I didn't like him much
on the phone, either.
He did leave me a number
but as long as you're not interested
anymore, I guess you won't need it.
Jim, when will you
ever learn?
All these fellows want is for you
to take the thumping for them.
Look at this place,
look at it!
Looks like the backroom
of Montgomery Ward's.
You ain't listening to me.
Sure I am, Rocky.
I want to speak to
Warren Jameson, please.
It's Jim Rockford.
I thought you'd be at the
country house four hours ago.
I got hung up.
I waited for you
as long as I could.
I've got to go back East
for a day on business.
I'm in town now, and I'll be here an
hour before I leave for the airport.
I'll expect you.
I'll meet you at Trattoria's Steakhouse.
It's right near the airport.
You'll meet me here.
I still don't want to be seen with you.
I got news for you.
I don't really care what you want anymore.
I only care what I want.
I'll be at Trattoria's Steakhouse.
I'll be there in 20 minutes.
That's telling him, boy.
Rock, would you do me a favor?
Would you straighten up this place for me?
Sure, I'll be glad to.
You mean, it's not going
to cost me anything?
Look, I'm still your father.
Don't worry, I'll do it all up nice.
You'll see.
You're all right, Rocky.
Are you coming with us,
Rockford?
Yeah.
Every time I look in my rear view mirror,
there's a new gray Chevy following me.
You can take me off the case,
but who'll take those other guys off me?
I got picked up again.
Kidnapped.
Now that's the second time
in two days.
Don't you come down here
to bleed on me.
I was trying to protect you.