The Singing Detective (1986) s01e06 Episode Script

I cannot now distinguish between the train
that brought my mother and me to London
and the one which took us back -
which took me back, I mean.
But I tell you, there was something odd
about that journey, something not right.
Something I still dream about.
Where is she, eh? Where's your mum,
your lovely mum?
- In the ground.
- Oh, yes?
Yeah.
- Covered in dirt?
- That were always on the cards.
Covered in the old dirt.
Her legs an' all, eh?
You did it, didn't you?
It's your doing, Sonny Jim.
It's all your doing.
After you've gone
And left me crying
After you've gone
There's no denying
You'll feel blue
You'll feel sad
You'll miss the bestest pal
You've ever had
There'll come a time
Now, don't forget it
There'll come a time
When you'll regret it
Some day
When you grow lonely
Your heart'll break like mad
And you'll want me only
- After you've gone
-Philip!
Philip, come back! Please! Philip!
After you've gone
And left me crying
After you've gone
There's no denying
You'll feel blue, you'll feel sad
You'll miss the bestest pal
You've ever had
There was something odd
about that journey.
Something not quite right.
Something I still dream about.
I saw the scarecrow.
- Scarecrow?
- Scarecrow.
I'm sorry, go on.
A scarecrow in a field by the railway.
I dreamt about that thing last night.
It had got out of the field.
Uh-hm?
Even at the time, from the train, I mean,
going up to London, coming back again,
looking out of the train window,
I had a strong feeling
it was alive and watching.
- Watching?
- Me. Watching me.
So it has eyes. Whose eyes?
- Whose face?
- This is a scarecrow, not a
But if it's watching you, hm? Why?
What for?
What does it think you've done?
- Look, this is a dream, right?
- Right.
The face, I know it! I just can't quite
- Is it your mother?
- What?
- Is it her face?
- No!
How did she die?
She killed herself.
How?
- The river. In the river.
- Are you?
Is that really so?
What do you mean?
A young woman's fished out of the river
in your detective story.
- So? So?
- I'm just a little surprised.
Is it likely that you'd so exactly duplicate
such a traumatic event in your own life
The face! I know who it is!
- I'm sorry?
- She used to frighten me, the bitch!
- Your mother?
- No. The teacher in the village school.
Pointing that finger.
God rot her nasty old bones!
- Aren't you being a little
- You just don't know writers.
They'll use anything, anybody,
they'll eat their own young!
So do rabbits when they're disturbed.
Once I did something bad. I mean, nasty.
I mean, really disgusting - at school,
at the primary school.
I was nearly caught.
I was in for it and bad.
But I blamed somebody else.
I pointed the finger elsewhere.
Long ago and far away.
I've never doubted since
what people are really made of.
We all have blood on our teeth.
Tell me, there's a good boy.
Mark Binney, Miss. It was Mark Binney.
Mark Binney.
No, Miss, it wasn't!
- Come out to the front.
- No, Miss, no!
Come here, boy.
Philip, you may go back to your desk
for the while.
- Yes, Miss.
- Thank you, Philip.
Miss, it wasn't me, Miss!
Honest, Miss! Honest!
We'll see about that, won't we, my boy?
We are going to find out, aren't we?
We are going to find out
if it takes us the rest of the day.
Yes, Barbara?
- Him was a-lurking out by the big tree.
- HE. How many times?
- He was, Miss.
- But Miss
Be quiet! Did you see him
go back into the school?
Yes, Miss! And, Miss
- Go on.
- Him told He told I that
Me! How many times?
- He told me, Miss.
- Told you? Told you what?
- He told me that he was gonna
- Barbara!
Him said that he was gonna
do his nasty on the table, Miss!
- I saw, Miss!
- And me!
And me, Miss!
- I saw him!
- And me! I saw him, as well!
Miss, it ain't true!
Honest, Miss, it ain't true!
I sat at my desk, perjurer, charlatan,
and watched and listened,
as one after another after another,
they nailed that poor lad,
hands and feet, to my story.
I've not seriously doubted since
that afternoon that ANY lie will receive
almost instant corroboration
and almost instant collaboration
if the maintenance of it
results in the public enjoyment
of someone else's pain,
someone else's humiliation.
Oh, God, she beat him!
That poor boy! She beat him!
Vicious bitch!
Interestingly What is interesting
is the lad himself was completely
overwhelmed by the evidence.
He was a backward boy,
although we didn't think in those terms
at the time, amongst ourselves.
I mean, I used to see him sometimes
in the woods.
He'd be running.
He was almost always running.
"What bist thou doin', Mark?" I'd say.
"Training," he'd answer.
Just that. "Training for what?"
The poor little sod came in the end
to believe that he HAD done it.
"Yes, Miss. Yes, Miss."
That he had done what?
Shat on the teacher's table.
It has occurred to you
that you yourself were in distress
at this time?
A few years ago, I told the story to a man
who used to live in the same village.
We were laughing about it, you know.
Ho, ho, ho.
"I wonder I wonder," I said,
"whatever became of Mark Binney."
That was my victim. Mark Binney.
"Don't you know?" he said, and he was
looking at me with an odd sort of glint.
Nasty, you know. The way you do.
"Mark's in the loony bin," he said.
"Been there for years.
"A complete nutter."
"Yes, Miss?" "You did, didn't you?"
"Yes, Miss." "You came back
and you did this filthy thing!"
"Yes, Miss." "You're a filthy
wicked, horrible little"
I'm sorry.
Don't be.
- Stand up.
- What?
You can. You can do it.
- You think so?
- Now or never.
Now or never?
Wait, wait. Just wanna make sure
these wheels are safely locked.
Don't want you skeetering
all over the floor.
It would be rather untidy.
Right go ahead.
Into each life some rain must fall.
- Metaphysics?
- Music.
That's it.
Into each life
Some rain must fall
But too much is falling in mine
Into each heart, some tears must fall
But some day, the sun will shine
Some folks can lose the blues
In their hearts
But when I think of you
Another shower starts
Into each life some rain must fall
But too much, too much
Is falling in mine
Morning!
- Into each heart
- Morning!
- Some tears must fall
- Morning.
But some day
The sun will shine
Some folks can lose
The blues in their hearts
Ah-ah-ah-ah!
But when I think of you
Another shower starts
- What do you think, eh?
- You been off the love apples, man!
Whoa! Whoa! No hang-gliding!
Don't help me, don't help me.
I can do it myself.
Whopeeeeee!
Geronimo!
Turn it down.
Off! Off!
Featherwheel. Who's calling?
Hi! How are things with you?
Oh, around midnight. No, no, that's OK.
What?
Fantastic!
Oh, obviously delighted! Yes!
Thank you!
No, no, that's no problem.
I can be out in LA
at one day's notice. Truly!
Yeah very exciting indeed!
Uh-huh.
Ah um you mean the scene
in the dance hall.
The bar and the balcony.
Er, no, no, I think you have a point.
Yeah, it's too um enigmatic.
Er not clear.
Piss off!
No, no, I can hear you fine.
Yes, it's just too, too
Exactly! Yeah. No, I can put that right.
Patch and mend, you know.
Oh, sure, I've all the chain
of title documents.
Now I know we've got a deal,
I'll Skypack them out to you first thing.
Yeah, there's my title, the option
on the book and my screenplay.
Er, Mervin, look, the other thing -
the casting, you know.
Oh, sure!
Well um I think it should be
Nicola Marlow because
Nicola Marlow.
Well, she's done quite a lot over here.
Well, because that's my understanding.
Who?
Fabulous!
She's fantastic!
I mean, if we could get her!
My God!
That's wonderful!
You've obviously got a great deal more
experience in these things than I have.
It's basically your money, you know
control-wise.
Well, I'll see you very soon, then.
Fine, fine!
Thank you. Thank you! Bye.
You cheap little bastard.
You cheap little bastard.
Nicola, listen.
I have no power here. Listen.
No.
You listen.
I brought Philip's script to you.
I conned him into signing away the rights
for a tenth of what you're selling it for.
Oh, honey, you don't think I'm trying to cheat
on you? I mean you'll get what we agreed.
- You'll get your share.
- No, it's not for the money.
It's not for the money.
I play it.
It is my part. Me.
We agreed, Mark.
- We agreed.
- You know we don't get casting control.
No, I don't bloody well know!
Advice and consultation. That's what we got.
That's what anybody gets.
What do you think I am - Spielberg?
Advice and consultation.
That wasn't our deal.
It is my part. I play it.
We agreed.
It is my biggest chance!
Honey don't you think
you're just a teeny bit too old now?
Honey don't you think
you're just a teeny bit too old now?
Perhaps.
A teeny bit.
Yes.
A teensy-weensy millimeter or so
nearer the garbage heap.
Oh, yes.
There are a few inky-dinky lines
here and there
on this dried-up parchment
rather badly stretched
over my crumbling bones!
See?
And my eyes Look!
Bleared and bloodshot!
And my mouth! See? Look how it drools!
- Nicola, stop it, now.
- Oh, the sag of it, the creak of it!
- The used-upness of it!
- OK, OK, enough!
I'm sorry.
First, you oh-so-casually
throw away my one great chance!
And then And then you dig
into my sense of my
of my You're a killer!
My God, you're a killer!
You smash up people's lives!
You are rotten with your own bile!
You think you're smart,
but really you're very, very sad
because you use your illness
as a weapon against other people
and as an excuse
for not being properly human!
You disgust me!
You sick little creep!
You poisonous, malformed,
cynical oaf! You I
Having a good time, are we?
- 'Course I am.
- You're not in bed. How come?
I'm not in bed
'cause I stood on my own two feet.
- You didn't?
- I did.
- Well done!
- You watch!
I'll walk to that door by the end of the week.
Don't overdo it. That's how people get
disappointed. That's really nice.
Nice? Nice is not the word!
You should behave like the disciples
when Our Lord walked on water!
If you can stand up
while I grease you, I might!
I think I can stand up, but I'm not sure
for how long. My knees
I don't expect you to. I'm just glad to see
how much you're improving. It's great.
You're by far the nicest person
I've met in a long time.
- You haven't been anywhere in a long time.
- As well as the most beautiful.
- Your eyes.
- What about them?
- Your mouth.
- Listen
The way your head joins your neck,
as though it were hesitating.
I've brought you a fresh tub of
Now, stop it! Please, don't be silly.
In fact, now I look at you properly,
I can see what you are.
- Oh, can you, now?
- You're the girl in all those songs.
- De-dum.
- What songs?
The songs, the songs,
the bloody, bloody songs.
Wish I knew what you were talking about.
- The songs you hear coming up the stair.
- Sorry?
When you're a child, when you're supposed
to be asleep. Those songs.
S S S
Songs!
The very thought of you
And I forget to do
The little ordinary things
That everyone ought to do
I'm living in a kind of daydream
I'm happy as a king
And foolish though it may seem
To me that's everything
The mere idea of you
The longing here for you
- Grandad.
- Christ! You made me jump!
- Sorry.
- Don't do that, boy.
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you
My love
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you
My love
- Hello, Philip.
- Hello, Dad.
Haven't enough for the bus, old buddy.
Sorry. Pay day tomorrow.
- Don't mind walking.
- 'Bout another five mile, I reckon.
Seven.
Aye, seven.
- Did you see her?
- Yeah.
After, I meant. After the accident.
Yeah.
- Lovely, was her?
- Yeah.
- Peaceful, like?
- Yeah.
- Tired, bist?
- No.
I love you, Philip.
I love you with all my heart.
- Shhh!
- What?
- Somebody might hear us.
- What?
Some bugger might be listening, Dad.
Keep tha quiet.
What do you mean, my lad?
Yunt no one around and even if there was
Shhht!
It's only an old scarecrow.
Him can't hurt tha.
Ding dong dell
Pussy's in the well
Ding dong dell
Pussy's in the well
Who pushed him in?
Who pushed him in?
Ding dong dell
You'll hurt yourself.
- I said you'll bloody hurt yourself!
- What?
- I said
- I know what you said.
- I said you'll hurt yourself.
- I heard.
- All this activity.
- What activity?
- Whistling.
- Yeah.
Talk, why don't you?
Just a word, the odd nod now and again.
- You'll be discharged in a day or two.
- Tomorrow.
- Who said so?
- Tomorrow. I'm going tomorrow.
- That's definite, is it?
- Definite.
- But who shall I talk to?
- You can have this.
I prefer human intercourse,
thank you very much!
- You dirty old devil!
- Reginald.
If you let me get on with it, I might finish,
then you can have it.
- I wandered lonely as a cloud
- If you stop nattering!
Poetry! That's more my style!
I don't want corpses all over the place,
not in here, not in this place, thank you!
- Wonder who'll go next, eh?
- Out, do you mean?
- Dead, I mean!
- Don't don't!
It's not very legible and it hurts
but I tell you one thing.
For the first time in my life,
I'm going to have to think about
the value of every word.
- Now, that's dangerous, isn't it?
- That rules out the newspapers, anyway!
Except the "Sun" and the "Star".
They don't have words at all!
Maybe I could work for Mr Murdoch.
Can I have a peep?
Can you read it?
"Upward strokes and down"
What's this?
"downward slopes and a comma curls,
making me hold"
Yes, I can read it!
"Making me hold" what?
My breath. Words.
Words make me hold my breath.
- I see.
- Who knows what you'll say?
- Who knows where they've been?
- Keep at it. You're doing very well.
Suppose they ganged up on us
when we weren't looking!
- Who?
- Words! Little devils!
Words!
Well - I'll pop in and see you
tomorrow afternoon.
- What made you say that?
- What?
Suppose we wrote that down?
"Well - dash,
"I'll pop in and see you again
tomorrow afternoon."
Oh, it doesn't matter, doesn't matter.
- Well, keep practicing, that's the thing.
- Yes, that's the thing.
Keep practicing, comma,
that's the thing. Full stop.
Jolly good!
I presume you made your call, Mr Binney.
I hope you did. If it was long distance,
don't worry about the bill.
So now we wait.
We wait and we see.
Mr Binney?
Are you here, sir?
- At home, are you?
- Put on the light, why don't we?
- Blood.
- What?
- Shh!
Sorry.
- Shhh!
- Shhh your bloody self!
All right, all right.
- Where's the switch?
- It's usually on the wall.
- Clever dick!
- You find it, then!
God, the people I have to work with!
I don't know why you always say that.
The poor bugger!
I thought his voice sounded funny.
- What?
- On the phone, when he rang.
'Course it sounded funny! What would you
sound like with a knife in your throat?!
All right, all right.
- What are all these papers?
- Perhaps it's
I don't know what to do.
I don't have the faintest idea.
- Well, it's just
- Yeah?
I don't know.
I mean, who do we go to?
- The top.
- What?
Go straight to the top. Whitehall.
It'll have to be.
We're supposed to be in Intelligence.
- Yeah.
- That's what we're supposed to use!
This up here! The old gray mare!
Hello?
- What's it say on the bits of paper?
- That's a point.
Well, what does it say?
God Almighty!
Well, what is it?
It'd take a more cleverer man than me
to make sense of it.
And one with a better grasp of grammar.
- What?
- A more better grasp, you would say.
Look here, you smart-arse, you little shit!
Nit-picking at a time like this -
in the middle of this bloody peril!
- So I spoke out of turn.
- I probably went to a better school than you!
Oh, yeah?
- Where was that, then?
- Don't you!
That's it!
That's the point.
You've put your finger right on it.
Have I? How do you mean?
We don't know a bloody thing about our
Who?
Or why? What?
I mean, it's all a blank, innit?
- Not filled in, do you mean?
- Padding!
- Still
- No "still" about it! It's a fact!
A hard and fast fact!
And you can't argue about it!
We're padding!
Like a couple of bleedin' sofas!
- You never use my name, do you?
- Do you ever use mine?
Oh, God, we're completely
Completely
There's blood on this paper.
All over it.
What does it say?
It says
It says "Who killed Roger Ackroyd?"
- Who?
- Christ knows!
- Is he a foreigner?
- Do we know him? Is he on our list?
- I don't know him from Adam.
- No.
But it's a clue!
Everything
All things mean something.
All things point.
Weren't we taught that at the Depot?
Absorb, ponder, act.
- One, two, three.
three.
That singer! Perhaps he done it!
The crooner!
- I wouldn't be totally surprised!
- We lost him, didn't we? The bugger!
We lost him,
but has he found us?
Search the place.
- Every room.
- Every cupboard.
Every nook, every cranny.
If he's here we'll find the bugger!
Philip!
Philip! Where be you, Philip?
Philip!
Where bist? Philip?
Come on, old buddy!
Philip!
Where bist? Philip!
Doesn't trust anybody again.
Doesn't give thy love.
Hide in theeself, else they'll die.
They'll die and they'll hurt you.
- Where bist, Philip?
- Hide, hide.
Dad
Dad.
Oh, there thou bist.
Aye here I be.
Doesn't give thy love.
Hide in theeself, else they'll die.
They'll die and they'll hurt you.
Hide, hide.
Oh, Philip! PHILIP!
Philip! Come back, please! Philip!
Philip!
Philip!
What's the loveliest word
in the English language, Officer?
In the sound it makes in your mouth?
In the shape it makes on the page?
- What do you think?
- Er fit-up?
Come on, that's two words!
Forget your hobbies for a minute!
Now, think of the loveliest word.
That's not my bag, sir, is it?
Well, now, I'll tell you. E-L-B-O-W.
Elbow.
- That's very useful, an elbow.
- What?
- In my line of work.
- All right, what have I done?
- Sorry, sir, I have bad news.
- Riot shields to be banned?
- Your wife.
- I'm not married.
- But I thought
- What's happened? What's she done?
I'm referring to a Mrs Nicola Marlow.
- My ex-wife.
- I thought
All right, all right, my wife.
- Get on with it, man!
- I don't know whether you
She has been living with,
our enquiries so far indicate, sir,
a Mr Mark Finney, sir.
- Binney, did you say? Binney?
- Finney, sir. F for Freddie.
- A film producer, it seems.
- Go on.
Early this morning, the Hammersmith station
received a distraught call from Mrs Marlow.
She said she had Well, sir, I'm sorry, sir.
She said she had stuck a knife
in the throat of this Mr Finney
and that this Mr Finney, F for Freddie,
was dead, sir.
- Dead?
- Dead.
With a D? Go on, go on.
We went round straight away.
- Where is this?
- The Mall by the bridge. Hammersmith.
Mrs Marlow was sitting on the stairs, sir,
in a state of what we call "extreme distress".
Blood all over her.
In the room upstairs, it was very much
as she had described, sir.
Stabbed with a large kitchen knife.
A 'Abitat knife, sir.
- 'Abitat?
- Tottenham Court Road.
- Where?
- Tottenham Court
Oh yes. In the throat, sir.
In his throat. Sticking out of
Jesus! But but
We read her her rights and she was taken
into custody where she was described as
docile and cooperative, sir.
The arresting officer had no reason
to suspect,
but when she was taken to the patrol car,
she suddenly made a run for it,
taking the arresting officer very much
by what YOU might call surprise, sir.
Particularly as she was in a state
of near undress.
What do you What are you saying?
Half naked.
Oh, God! I've got to wake up!
I've got to wake up!
She managed to get on
to the bridge itself
whereupon she
threw herself in the bleedin' river.
Maximum embarrassment all round.
Yes.
- Wake up.
- What?
- Wake your bloody self up.
- Yes.
What's the matter? What's all this noise?
- I'm sorry?
- You go back to sleep.
- Sorry.
- Go on, back to sleep.
You all right, Pop?
Oh, good.
What's the loveliest word
in the English language, Nurse?
In its sound, I mean.
The sound it makes in your mouth.
In the shape it makes on the page.
What do you think?
- Or have I asked you this before?
- The loveliest?
Rose.
- No, primrose.
- No, no. E-L-B-O-W.
Come on, drink.
What's the matter?
I didn't mean it.
I didn't.
I always thought
they knew their way around.
- What did he want?
- The women's ward.
- What?
- His mother was brought in yesterday.
- But
- Quite lucky, him walking in here.
He recognized a friend.
- What's the matter?
- Oh, nothing.
Come on.
Ahem!
- 'Ere!
- Well, well, well.
- Oh, hello.
- Hello, Officer.
- Yeah well.
- Hadn't got you down as a reader.
- Yeah, well
- What's this?
- "Janet and John"?
- Who?
"He did not believe the human body
could be so crimsonly liquid.
"Blood gashed through the severed vein
as though it'd been longing to escape"
- Gawd!
- It's good! Straight up!
- They say this stuff doesn't corrupt.
- There you are. What's there to say?
There you are, Officer.
- It's good!
- He reads this, then he pinches a VCR.
- Who does?
- You does!
I've paid my debt to society.
What you think and what I think
are different things.
- Keep your nose clean or I'll nip it off.
- Gawd Almighty!
What are you in for?
- Heart.
- You got no bleedin' heart!
- Aw, come on!
- I'll be watching you.
We can fit you up
with a pacemaker, Reggie.
Berk!
Who have I been next to all this time?
What sort of person?
A human person!
Well, what have you done? Why are
the police so interested in you, my boy?
Mind your own business.
Keep your long nose out of it.
Good Good heavens, Reginald,
is that the way to speak to me?
Good heavens above! Reginald!
Reginald!
You're hot, Mr Marlow.
Don't you go and get any complications
or anything silly like that.
Drink plenty of water, you hear?
Now, let's see what's going on here.
I think you've been overdoing it again.
Hey where are you?
Too many people
were asking the same question
and it wasn't because they wanted
to polish my shoes for me, no, sir.
If you go down in the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise
If you go down in the woods today
You'd better go in disguise
For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain because
Today's the day the teddy bears
Have their picnic
Beneath the trees where nobody sees
They'll hide and seek
As long as they please - that's the way
The teddy bears have their picnic
Picnic time for teddy bears
The little teddy bears
Are having a lovely time today
Watch them, catch them unawares
And see them picnic
On their holiday
See them gaily gad about
They love to play and shout
They never have any cares
At six o'clock,
Their mummies and daddies
Will take them home to bed
'Cause they're tired little teddy bears
If you go down in the woods today
You'd better not go alone
It's lovely down in the woods today
But safer to stay at home
For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain because
Today's the day the teddy bears
Have their picnic
Look!
I did it! I walked!
I can walk! Look at me, everybody!
- Look!
- He's bellowing again. Listen to him.
It's nice to be able to walk, Mr Hall.
Yes, but you don't have to make
a song and dance about it, do you?
Philip, what are you doing?
What do you think you're
- Walking.
- Good heavens, supposing you fall over?
Hold on to me. You're not ready for this.
Hold on to YOU?
There are not many others about
any more, Philip.
Be-bop-a-lu-la
Yes but isn't it about time
you climbed down out of your tree?
Well, one thing's for sure,
I'm gonna I'm gonna walk
right out of this place.
- I'm not gonna stay here.
- But will you stay in this condition?
- No.
- I don't just mean your skin and joints.
- No!
- You nasty old sod!
Mr Marlow!
What are you doing?
- What do you think you're doing?
- Walking.
What if you fell? You can't do this
on your own. Take it in stages.
- No!
- Steady.
- By tomorrow By tomorrow
- What about tomorrow?
I'll walk out of this place
on my own two feet!
- Oh, will you, now?
- Hey! Nicola isn't in the river!
What?
I told you, didn't I? I told you!
Can I have some help here?
You're too heavy.
Can I have some help here?
All right, Nurse. All right.
He's too heavy for you, Nurse.
Gently!
Sorry, sorry.
Take him back to his bed.
It's that one over there.
Gently does it, sunshine.
A small step for a man,
but a giant leap for a cripple!
This is not the time for
Sit him on his bed. Gently!
- Thanks. Thank you.
- Yes, thank you very much.
- It's a good job we came, eh?
- You're telling me!
- And this is the one we came to see.
- You're telling me.
- These are not visiting hours.
- They are now, sweetie. Bugger the rules.
- And bugger the regulations.
- It's because I'm hot.
I don't know you.
I've no idea who or what you are.
- I see. Disowning us now, are you?
- Bloody orphans, are we?
I'm sorry, but I must ask you to leave.
- Leave?
- Leave?
We're fed-up, lady! We get all the shit!
And one shooter between us!
- What?
- Bang, bang!
- And why?
- And what for?
- Never told!
- Our roles are unclear!
- No names even! No bloody handles!
- Nurse!
Nurse!
NURSE!
- Where are you going?
- Home.
- But that's off the page, isn't it?
- You're going nowhere, sunshine.
Not until we settle this.
Settle what?
- Who we are! What we are!
- That's right.
- That's absolutely right.
- No, no!
- Come on.
- No! Please don't!
- Tell us.
- I beg you, don't do that! Please!
Don't! Ahhhhhhhhhh!
No!
- Come on own up.
- Please don't!
Own up!
- Come on.
- We'll tear you apart.
Limb from limb.
- No, please
- Speak English. Come on.
Come on, tell us!
Help! Help! Help me!
Somebody, help me! Help me!
Help me!
Don't, please! Stop! Please don't! Ahhh!
Somebody, help me! Please!
Ahhhh! Ahhhh!
Ahhh! Ahhhh!
Help me! Help me! Help me!
Personally, I don't wanna walk down
the mean streets.
But there's no money in picking bluebells.
Am I right or am I right?
Will you listen to that?
Can you hear that guy?
Anybody would think somebody
was twisting his arm.
What I say is,
when you're dealing with the Devil,
then praise the Lord
and pass the ammunition.
Am I not wrong?
Neither am I wrong.
- Christ! The warbler!
- Quick! Use the shooter!
Jesus!
Jesus!
Jesus!
Nurse!
Mr Marlow!
Really!
No Please
No, you can't! No!
- Please, wait!
- Don't shoot!
- Please don't!
- That's murder!
No, no! Please don't!
Will you listen to that? Murder, he says.
I call it pruning.
Only one of us is gonna walk out of here
sweeter than the roses.
Please!
Please don't!
Don't shoot!
I suppose you could say we'd been partners.
Like Laurel and Hardy
or Fortnum and Mason.
But, hell, this was one sick fellow
from way back when.
And I reckon I'm man enough
to tie my own shoelaces now.
Open.
Haven't you finished that silly old book yet?
Last page, innit?
Huh! Giant leap for mankind, my boy.
Oh, thank you, Nurse!
Got my 'at?
No, no, no, no, no.
Cheers, Pop.
B
Bye.
- Bye, everybody.
- See ya.
Bye.
- Cheerio.
- Bye.
Good luck. Keep your noses clean.
"And her soft red lips
"clam clamp
"clamped
"themselves on his.
"The end."
Lucky devil!
We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again
Some sunny day
Keep smiling through
Just like you always do
Till the blue skies chase
those dark clouds
Far away
And I will just say hello
To the folks that you know
Tell them you won't be long
They'll be happy to know
That as I saw you go
You were singing this song
We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
When I grow up,
I be gonna be a detective!
But I know we'll meet again
Some sunny day