Vladimir (2026) s01e06 Episode Script

I'm a beloved professor.
I know you feel that way…
Have you ever looked at my evaluations?
Hey, wait, hey. Let… let's take a walk.
Can we just take a walk?
I have always felt
the origin of anger in my vagina,
and I'm surprised
it is not mentioned more in literature.
Many students are uncomfortable
that you haven't spoken out against John.
- Spoken out?
- You've been seen with him in public.
He's my husband.
That association is becoming difficult
for the students.
- What?!
- And the faculty.
Who?
- You make them feel uncomfortable.
- In what way?
Your behavior has been erratic.
Well, you can't just fire me.
There's a process. I have tenure.
We are asking you to voluntarily step down
by the end of the week.
Well, I won't.
If you don't,
we can put you on administrative leave
till the end of the year,
starting next week.
We'd prefer it not come to that.
Who would take over my classes?
We're in the middle of a semester.
Cynthia is well versed
in your subject matter.
- Is this about the file?
- What file?
- This is not about the file, but…
- But what?
It will be better for you
if you voluntarily step down.
Why?
Because if we put you
on administrative leave,
we will have to formalize the complaints.
- Really?
- Yes.
Well, if you do that, David,
I will absolutely never even conceptualize
fucking you ever again.
What?
That is perfectly fine.
- It is?
- Yes.
I… I have no interest in doing that.
You don't?
No.
Well, thank you, David.
Thanks a whole fucking lot.
I'm sorr… what?
I don't… I don't know.
She's erratic.
I mean, spoken out?
Of course I could've spoken out.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Smoking is prohibited on campus.
Don't they understand?
I could've been a feminist hero
if I wanted to be.
Since when?
Three years.
I could've spoken out all over campus.
Big swaths of adoring, dewy young people
just drooling over me
as I lusciously spoke out.
- Ma'am?
- But it is against my principles.
I do not have to answer
for my husband's behavior.
- Are you gonna put your cigarette out?
- I mean, I am my own person.
I have done nothing wrong.
May I see your ID?
Oh, well, thank you for the compliment,
but I'm not a student. I'm a professor.
Yeah, I figured. Are you resisting?
Oh, okay. All right. I put it out, okay?
Now, may I find a trash can?
Because I don't litter.
I need your ID.
Why? What are you gonna do?
Suspend me from teaching?
No, ma'am. I'm writing you a summons.
What?
Come in!
Hey there.
Oh, hi.
Is this a bad time?
Uh… Sorry. Sorry. You heard.
Heard what?
Oh, nothing. No, nothing.
You just, uh… you came to speak to me.
Yeah, yeah, no.
I was on my way to class, and
I had to ask you,
have you ever read Susie Boyt?
- Loved and Missed? Oh my God.
- Yes, I just started that book!
I haven't encountered a voice like hers
in a very long time.
When I read it, I just kept thinking,
how could it be so emotional, so funny,
and so good all at once?
Yes, exactly.
It's the best book I've read in a while.
Of course he thinks it's better than mine.
It is better than mine.
I believe in admiration,
generosity, being a fan.
That and yours.
What?
That and yours.
I bet you say that to all the writers.
You okay?
What?
Uh, well, you just…
you seem… I don't know.
You look a little forlorn.
Oh, God,
and I thought I was hiding it so well.
- Mm, you can't hide anything.
- No?
You're translucent.
It's… it's beautiful.
Oh.
- Can I put my arm around you?
- Of course.
Thank you.
Oh, I appreciate the kindness.
I'll take you away.
- Professor Vladinski?
- Oh.
- I'll see you later.
- Yeah.
I mean, they can't just ordain
that I go on administrative leave.
Hey, I'm as angry as you are,
but look at it as an opportunity.
You'll still get paid.
Not right.
No? Brown suit, brown tie?
Give me a pair of Aviators,
keep me 500 feet from a playground?
- Ugh, don't joke like that.
- I have to joke.
It's the only thing I can do that's
keeping me from losing my fucking mind.
They're not allowed to keep me
from my position when I did nothing wrong.
We'll handle it after the hearing.
No, no, I'm not gonna sit here
and take it like a… like a lump.
Okay.
Is this Lila's writing?
I have scans. Don't think you can burn it.
Hmm.
May I take it?
Mm.
- Alexis is gonna be here in an hour.
- She is?
- We're bringing in the big guns.
- Are you and Alexis back together?
Um… we were never really broken up.
Well… well, do you think
you might've told me that she was coming?
I mean, I'm not in the mood
for entertaining right now.
Mom, I think one of the reasons
you and Alexis never clicked is because--
We have too clicked.
…put on this big show like
some 1950s housewife whenever she comes.
You don't have to entertain.
- What do you think?
- Mm, can you try a different tie?
I wanna dress like myself.
- What are you wearing?
- I'm not a 1950s housewife.
Sorry.
- What are you wearing?
- I don't know.
Mom, optics are important.
If the complaints get dismissed,
I bet a lot of your problems go away.
What if they don't get dismissed?
We sell the house, move to Mexico,
and everyone can fuck off.
Everyone else can fuck off.
I'm needed here.
Not if you're not teaching.
I'm going to be teaching, John.
I need to talk to somebody about this.
Mom, no, don't do anything.
Please. Please!
Every year, the president
of the college holds an event
for business school alumni.
Lynn likes to say
that they are "properly endowed."
Thank you.
Lynn!
Hi.
What are you doing here?
This event is for business majors,
real people who help the college
in a… real way.
- Hear about the administrative leave?
- I can't talk about that right now.
- Well, can't you ask Steve to intervene?
- No.
Do you think it's right
that I get punished for John's actions?
Steve has to look out
for the college in general.
Lynn, this is your chance to take a stand.
You have a… a PhD in medieval philosophy,
and yet all you do is entertain
like some 1950s housewife.
'Cause the only thing
that's mattered to you in your whole life
is being approved of by men.
Well, if I'm such a bone job,
then why are you asking for my help?
Lynn?
- Ma'am.
- No, Lynn said I could use her bathroom.
Hmm.
I'm of a mind that if you come across
a controlled substance,
you should always take at least one…
for the apocalypse.
Sid made this for me when she was ten.
Sid?
What's up?
Nothing.
Run away with me.
Babe, have you ever held a knife before?
- These are beautifully chopped peppers.
- Good morning.
Good morning.
- Good morning, Sidney.
- Good morning.
Did anyone, uh… feed you last night?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. We ordered in.
I know I just kinda sprang this…
"Sprang, sprung?" Help.
Oh, you can say either.
…visit on you,
and, um… my mother would've been furious.
No, no, well, I mean,
thank you for saying that, but no.
- Babe, these have to be tiny.
- That's what I'm doing.
- No, smaller.
- I hear you've come to save us.
I'm just offering some advice
and some moral support.
Did you hear they asked me
to step down from my tenured position?
Yes.
And she told me to do nothing
until after the hearing.
That's good.
She's very right.
You should listen to your daughter.
She's a very good lawyer.
And don't worry,
we won't be in your hair too much longer.
- Nobody's in my hair.
- We're gonna head back.
- Right after the hearing wraps up.
- Together?
Yes.
- Are you moving back in with her?
- Why are you saying "her" like that?
I don't think you've proven you're ready
for the relationship she's asking for.
Stop talking like Alexis
is not standing here.
It's fine.
I think Sid knows what she's ready for.
Listen, I know how it feels
to be a 35-year-old woman.
- What?
- Do you think she's ready to co-parent?
I mean, she can barely look after herself.
- Babe, what did you tell her?
- I…
I… No. I just told her we were
maybe getting ready to start the process.
- Mom, you have to stop.
- Babe, that's our business.
You're gonna be counting your eggs.
She hasn't even got a job.
Uh, I have five interviews lined up.
In the city?
Yes. That's where my life is.
You haven't been telling me anything.
Because I don't need to ask
for your permission for everything.
I'm a fully grown adult.
- Well, you do not behave like one.
- Why are you being so mean?
You need to speak
to your daughter more respectfully.
- No, thank you. Uh-uh-uh, no, thank you.
- Guys, what's going on?
Don't call me "guys." I'm her mother.
Where were you last night?
- Seeing a friend.
- You don't want me to be an adult.
You want me to depend on you
so you can feel like you still matter.
You're the one who's mean.
Why are you so agitated?
I don't wanna talk about it.
I wouldn't be in this position
if it weren't for you.
What position?
They are asking me to give up my career.
Wow, you are gone. You know what?
You're right. Let's not talk about it.
- No, let's not.
- Yeah. Jesus Christ.
You know, first of all,
you could've spoken out against me
or whatever you wanted,
and you chose not to.
- Excuse me?
- You have free will.
- Make your own choices.
- I… I… I can't believe--
Second of all, we only came
to an agreement because of you.
You're the one who let the door open
for all this shit to happen.
You mean so if I'd been
more of a strict little wife, then--
- I'm saying it was your idea.
- No, no.
We came to this agreement together.
We did not want a conventional marriage.
We were being
good, antiestablishment radicals.
We didn't want to accept the status quo.
- Maybe that's what you wanted.
- I'm gone?
You're gone.
No, that is the most delusional thing
I've ever heard in my life.
You didn't wanna fuck around?
You were fucking around
before we came to the agreement.
That's why I suggested the agreement
in the first fucking place!
Listen.
I am not moving to Mexico.
You've always been
the most important person in my life.
What a lie.
- No, I'm serious.
- John.
I'm serious,
and I'm not conflicted with myself.
I'm with you because I wanna be with you.
I wish you could say the same.
This manipulative motherfucker.
As T.S. Eliot wrote,
"This is how the world ends."
"Not with a bang, but with an NP."
If I can't have my job
and I can't have my daughter
and I can't have… the man I love,
then at least I can do something decent.
Hey.
Are you kidding me?
More space.
- I wanna tell you something.
- No, we're past that. Back up.
Honey, I just wanna tell you
that I thought that this story
was really rather brilliant.
What is that?
It's from your Substack.
- The one you're gonna use to defame me.
- I'm serious, Lila.
It really touched me.
There's an honesty there that I admire.
Very, very good. I mean it.
- I'm not going to drop out of the case.
- No, that's not why I'm saying this.
- And you kept me from the scholarship.
- I don't think I did.
- You promised I would get it.
- No, I didn't.
You told me I was the strongest candidate.
Well, you were,
but then you got cocky and lazy,
and you didn't put enough work
into your application.
- I'm not lazy.
- Well, you can be.
The work was not strong enough,
and you didn't try hard enough.
Listen to me, Lila.
I mean, who fucking cares?
You know those people
who are so good at things early on?
Well, they usually turn into boring people
whose biggest accomplishments
are behind them by the time they're 25.
You have your whole life in front of you.
You didn't have to be great in high school
or college or in your twenties.
You can make mistakes.
You can fuck a professor.
Life is not about nailing it
when you're young.
It's about clinging
to the fucking rock face
no matter who or what
tries to push you off.
Don't make yourself irrelevant
before you're done living your life.
You will be irrelevant soon enough.
Believe me.
Okay, guys. Okay. Okay, folks.
Folks, folks, I appreciate
your dedication to this committee,
but how much time
do we wanna waste on this, okay?
The mother called the dean.
She keeps emailing me.
He wants us to just give the kid honors,
so let's just give it to her.
- He wasn't even close to that.
- Wait. Wait. Who is it?
I have taken your recommendation
into consideration.
I plan to turn my next lecture
into a public forum.
I'll answer all student questions,
including those about my marriage,
tomorrow at three.
I don't know
if that's best for the students.
Well, of course you don't, Florence,
because you're my frenemy.
I'm… not that.
Sweetie, I agree with Flo.
This kind of thing is unpredictable.
They want me to speak out,
so I'm speaking out.
What outcome do you expect?
They'll see I'm an open book,
and they will understand.
Sorry, I don't think the students
are in the right place
to talk to teachers
about this kinda stuff right now.
I know you're coming from a good place,
but it's generational.
They just think about these things
in a really different way.
Well, I can offer up my perspective.
I think it's a good idea.
I do. I think the students want us
to be real with them.
That's… that's what I've found.
What?
They want you to be real.
Mm… all of us.
No. They want a literary celebrity
with a cool jacket to be real with them,
not a middle-aged career professor.
We were all you once.
We know what changes.
That's a little harsh, David.
Well, I am going to be holding this forum,
whether you like it or not,
and you are all invited.
- I have a dermatologist appointment.
- Very good.
You will all have to forgive me
for not speaking up sooner
about the case against my husband.
It was… it was difficult for me
to know how best to proceed.
I wanted to provide you
with the opportunity
to write questions anonymously,
so… thank you very much for these.
But if anyone has the urge
to speak up directly,
then I aim to be in a listening position.
I told her that.
First question is…
"Do you agree
that what your husband did was wrong?"
Well, you have to understand that
I come from a very different generation.
When I was growing up,
I was taught that my virginity
was the most important thing about me.
It was more important
than my brain or my soul.
We stigmatize sex by telling women
that it's going to hurt them.
I mean,
these were consensual relationships.
So if I say that John was wrong,
I'm saying that these women were hurt
by the act of having consensual sex,
and I am not comfortable with that.
Uh, the next question is, um…
"Did you know about the affairs?"
Only vaguely.
But in full disclosure,
we had a marital agreement.
What do you mean "agreement"?
Do you mean an open marriage?
Well, you could call it that.
Like polyamory?
Well…
you could think of it as polyamory.
Uh, we didn't, but… you could.
Yes, Aaron?
- What's your take on compersion?
- What is that?
Like, the well-being you feel
when your partner takes pleasure
in another relationship.
Oh, I don't feel that.
How do you deal with jealousy?
Jealousy?
Jealousy can be an opportunity.
Sorry, your husband's relationships
involve power imbalances,
not relationships between
consenting adults on equal footing.
But who is ever on an equal footing?
I mean, aren't you adults? Aren't you
capable of making your own decisions?
I know it sounds like an old shibboleth,
but it really was a different time.
I mean, I would argue that, in the past,
love affairs
with all different kinds of people,
some who lifted you up,
some who left you a little bruised,
I mean, emotionally, of course,
were considered,
within reason, really kind of
fun.
So a student suffering
because of a teacher is fun?
- That's not what she's saying.
- Then what is she saying?
Just looking for my keys.
I had my forum today.
And?
I don't know.
You'll be fine.
One foot in front of the other.
Where are you going?
A friend.
Who is this friend?
You've been out every night this week.
Nobody.
It's helping.
Mm.
What's helping?
Inspiring.
Hey.
- Hello.
- Come on in.
Oh, uh, this way.
Oh.
I didn't realize this would be
a group endeavor. I…
On a Saturday, no less.
We thought it might be better
to meet not on campus.
Okay.
Want a donut? Maple glazed?
No.
Okay, then let's just get to it
since this is profoundly fucking awkward.
Thank you.
We are happy to say we are not putting you
on administrative leave.
Oh!
Wonderful.
That is great.
But the faculty has decided
that you will be supervised.
Wh… what do you mean by supervised?
Your classes will be monitored.
- Monitored by whom?
- I'll take Women in American Fiction.
- Okay.
- And I'll take your seminar.
And do what with it?
We'll write up notes.
It's administrative. Psh!
It's accountability.
And then we'll meet biweekly to review.
Review what?
To make sure
that you are appropriately in line
with our departmental goals.
So you are gonna be advising me
as to whether or not my instruction
is in line with your departmental goals
in a biweekly meeting?
It's a formality.
It's a safety issue.
We wanna make sure our students feel safe.
Some students requested
that you be removed.
Some advocated that you stay,
so we feel that this is a compromise.
To placate them.
Yeah.
They're in charge.
Well, I appreciate the update.
May I ask that this decision, uh…
please not leave this room?
Sure.
Thank you.
Don't.
- It's the big day.
- Mm, yeah, it is.
- How are you feeling?
- Good.
Um, Alexis and Sid and I are gonna go
get breakfast
and, I don't know, talk over the
bullshit strategy.
Mm-hmm.
If you wanted to come,
or you can just meet us there?
I'll meet you there.
- I do want you there.
- I know.
- I'm coming.
- You sure?
John, I mean, this hearing is the only way
out of this whole mess for you and for me.
I have my own reasons to be there.
Okay.
Cynthia coming?
Which one's Cynthia?
I'm so glad you changed your mind.
Are you ready?
You bet.
My love.
Help me, I think I'm fallin'
In love again
When I get that crazy feelin'
I know I'm in trouble again
I'm in trouble
'Cause you're a rambler and a gambler
And a sweet-taIkin' ladies' man
And you love your lovin'
Lovin'
But not like you love your
Freedom
Help me, I think I'm fallin'
In love too fast
It's got me hoping for the future…