Brothers (2026) s01e07 Episode Script

1
- [whispering] Matthew.
- Hmm.
- Matthew.
- [yelps]
- What? Ugh.
- Fuck, Wood.
[normal] I couldn't sleep,
I'm so excited about tomorrow.
I brought you some low-glycemic,
micro-bubble champagne.
I'm all right, man.
I really need to get my sleep.
Dude,
it is not every day that your best friend
announces on national television
that he is running for governor.
And even though I do believe
that the government should be run
by a council of women elders
and I will not vote until every animal
has the right to vote, I am here for you.
Whatever you need, I'm your man.
- Yeah. Thank you, buddy.
- So fucking proud of you.
Woody, that was incredibly sweet,
but we're exhausted.
Oh, Val.
I'm sorry, I didn't know you were awake.
Would you like some champers?
- Mmm.
- [whispering] You know what?
I'm getting the vibe that
you guys wanna go back to sleep.
I'm gonna bid you
good night, Mr. Governor.
Good night, Mrs. Governor.
I could just sit here
and watch you all sleep.
Can you not do that?
God, look at you guys.
[whistling]
[groans, chuckles]
[groans] Uh-oh.
Okay.
[sighs]
[liquid slushes, gurgling]
["Give A Little Bit" playing]
[Gwen] Everything's gonna
change after today. You feeling good?
Yeah, I'm really excited.
I've never met Brian Williams.
- Mmm. What are you gonna wear?
- I'm gonna wear this.
Hey. Oh, I wish I could take you away for
a weekend and change everything about you.
Just start from scratch.
If we didn't live in such a patriarchy,
you could be the next governor of Texas.
- Really?
- [phone ringing]
No. As it was halfway out of my mouth,
I kinda stopped believing it.
Where the fuck are my
Texas Bluebonnet bouquets?
Want me to order
from Bloom with a View? 'Cause I will.
It's my mother. She's a florist.
She's a total fucking idiot.
If you're not here in 20 minutes, Deborah,
I'm gonna fucking fire--
- [both gasp]
- [flies buzzing]
- What the fuck?
- [coughs]
Oh, my God. It smells like death.
What
- Val, get my shoe. Get my shoe!
- [screams]
[Woody snoring]
Woody.
- Wood!
- Owen?
- Do you smell that?
- Oh.
Oh.
Oh,
I meant to take the garbage out last n
Kai, can you take the garbage out, please?
- [Kai] I'm sleeping.
- Well, can you sleepwalk the garbage out?
Old people need our rest.
- [Joy exhales deeply]
- [Woody sighs]
Hey, Kai!
- Milady.
- M'Wyatt.
Oh, hey, let me get these.
- No, I'm good.
- No, I insist.
- Chivalry is not dead.
- Oh. Oh!
Oh, shoot. Sorry. [stammers]
It It's compostable bags.
They're made out of tissue paper.
One of the joys of being a hippie.
My God. Can you believe this?
It's a letter for my dad.
He's been, like, borderline
stalking the mail man for weeks.
- Of course he accidentally throws it out.
- Um, I can deliver it to him.
Uh, yeah. Be a hero.
All right.
[Gwen] Which one of you fuckers
filled the barn with shit?
[Valentina coughs]
I don't appreciate being blamed
and I don't like your tone, okay?
Who's to say what happened? [stammers]
Oh, sweet God.
Yeah, sweet God is right.
There is a river of shit from your bus,
down this hill,
to the barn where Matthew is supposed
to be interviewed by Brian Williams
in one hour.
Why are you only wearing one shoe?
Why are you wearing two shoes?
Why not 3 or 4 or 5?
- See how that feels? Don't do that.
- [Little Woody barks]
- Oh, God, no, Little Woody!
- Woody!
Little Off, off!
That's poo-poo, not wa-wa.
- He really likes it.
- [gags]
Mommy, see how much Little Woody likes it?
- Yeah, honey, I see it.
- Off, Little Woody!
Why don't we move this
interview into the house?
Into your house? Wi-With it
how it's decorated, with
the furniture and the art that you have?
That could work, if it was
a podcast or radio, or something.
An interview like that,
where there's no video.
But I'm sorry.
"Perfect is the enemy of good."
"Perfect is the enemy of good."
"Perfect is the enemy of good."
Hey, Uncle Woody,
- I found some of your mail.
- No, no, no, no.
No, no. Oh, just,
uh, put it on the counter.
I-I'll get it at brekkie.
- No, no.
- Where's Matthew?
Uh, I'll go grab him.
He knows what to do in every situation.
Who's cooking barbecue?
[flies buzzing]
Dad?
Dad?
Hey, Dad?
Goddamn it, Woody.
This is why they invented plumbing,
like, thousands of years ago.
- Ma Mac, it wasn't my fault.
- [Matthew] Morning, fam!
- There he is.
- Nothing like a little hill country hike
- to start your big day!
- [Little Woody barks]
Come here, Little Woody! Come here, doggy!
- No! Little Woody, no!
- Come here.
- [Valentina] Get away from the dog.
- Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir.
- Get away from the dog!
- Matthew, no!
- Give me kissy. Thank you!
- That dog was slurping up shit!
Jesus H. Christ, have mercy on us.
Can you believe there was ever a day when
I didn't love this little bugger, huh?
- Yes.
- I-I think you should
get your face off his tongue.
[crew chattering]
[Valentina] Okay, he's gonna come out.
Just tell him that he looks great
and-and don't
don't look in his eye.
Okay.
- What do we think?
- Oh, my God.
- Dad!
- Oh, Dad, you look incredible!
No, you really look horrendous.
Okay, this is gonna hurt the campaign,
but I'm shutting this whole thing down.
I can't believe I waxed
my butthole for this.
[Woody] I wonder where everybody
Holy God, tell me my vegan shit
didn't do that to your eyehole.
[stammers] Hang on, everybody,
let's take a big breath here.
- [both inhale deeply]
- Make sure we're not overexaggerating
the severity of this situation.
Who hadn't had
a little pink in their eye before?
Right? I mean, are we sure we're not
just looking at the inflammation?
Instead, maybe we should be seeing
the opportunity here.
Gwen, what have you been talking
to me about for weeks?
You're saying "You gotta quit relying
on that pretty face."
Well, look at this, ta-fucking-da! Huh?
I mean, this-this is a face of a man
who can deal with times of adversity.
- Okay.
- Texans don't want a governor
who's gonna run and hide every time
he comes up on a crisis.
No, they want a governor
who will come out in hard times,
look everyone in the eye.
- No. No.
- Yes?
- That's actually genius!
- Yeah!
So he has a little shit in his eye.
- What's a little turd?
- He's not perfect.
- He's a man of the people.
- It's endearing.
He's folksy, he's fun, he's fresh,
he's fierce, he's fuckable, and
This is a gift. This is a gift.
It's a campaign coup.
Now, who wants pancakes?
- Me!
- [Gwen] Whoo! [chuckles]
I really don't think
he should be handling food.
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Matthew thinks he can make anything work,
but he cannot go
on national television looking like that.
Val, I don't need this
attitude from you right now.
It's so negative, it's so yesterday,
it's so [blows raspberry]
Pink eye is now a winning platform.
Kids are gonna be watching thinking,
"I wish I had a little poop
in my eye so I could get sick on my face,
like my favorite actor,
Matthew McConaughey."
The entire campaign schedule
is built around today.
We're doing this.
Now, Brian Williams is gonna be here
in 30 minutes. I need you to get dressed.
I am dressed.
You are so fucking funny.
You should be a stand-up comedian.
And tour the world.
Get dressed.
Why do you let her talk to you like that?
It doesn't matter.
We cannot let Matthew do this interview.
- We have to protect him from himself.
- I'm gonna take care of it.
How?
Well, in order for there to be an
interview, there has to be an interviewer.
What are you trying to say?
By the time I'm done with him,
Brian Williams is gonna wish
he had pink eye.
But you're not gonna,
like, hurt him. Right?
The less you know, the better.
God, what did I do?
[Brian Williams] The lips, the teeth,
the tip of the tongue.
Irish wristwatch.
Swiss wristwatch.
The lips, the teeth,
the tip of the tongue.
Swiss wristwatch. Irish wristwatch.
Can we go over the plan again? 'Cause
I feel like I'm not clear on our roles.
He thinks we're, like,
taking him back to the ranch or something,
but I guess it's our job to,
like, delay it as much as possible.
So we're kidnapping him?
- No, not-not-not really. I mean--
- Hey, I'm sorry, guys.
- Excuse my manners. I
- No.
If I don't do my vocal exercises,
I'll be a mess during the interview.
- [both chuckle]
- I'm-I'm Brian Williams, and you are?
Bimmy.
- Okay, pleasure.
- Yeah.
This is my associate, Bolive.
- My friends call me Olive.
- Olive. All right.
We're production assistants.
Production assistants are
the backbone of every production.
- [both] Yeah.
- How far is the, uh, ranch from here?
Oh, uh, there's, like, a lot of, uh,
construction going on
- And traffic.
- so it might be a bit of a detour.
It's not a problem. Bimmy, is it?
Are you, uh, from around here?
No, uh, I was going to school
in California actually.
Oh! USC? UCLA? Stanford? What is it?
- LBBA.
- I-I don't know that one.
La Brea Bartending Academy.
Both of my parents were alums,
so obviously there was a lot of pressure
for me to follow in their footsteps.
But, uh, I-I was a student there.
I recently dropped out
to follow the love of my life to Austin.
Wait, what? You dropped out?
Uh, it's a mutual parting of ways.
We had different understandings
of what a dirty martini was.
This sounds like more of
a relationship than a situationship?
Don't even get me started, Brian.
Oh, no. I live for drama.
I'm sorry about the house and the drive
up here and the people that live here.
It wasn't my choice.
By the way, we should connect on LinkedIn.
- What the hell is LinkedIn?
- Um
[gasps] Matty! Matty!
- Oh, please call him Matthew.
- Perry Singer.
- Hello, Ms. Perry. How are you?
- I'm Brian Williams's producer.
Now, I heard you have
a problem with your eye.
- A little pink eye.
- Let me see it.
I wouldn't touch it.
I wouldn't touch it with your fingers!
Well, I've seen worse.
The same thing happened to Emeril Lagasse.
First year of his live show,
he flipped some chili oil in his eye,
we kept rolling.
"Bam!" Yeah, that was my idea.
Ha! All right, okay.
Well, look, when the camera is ready,
I will be as well. All right.
Speaking of, I'm heading that way.
Kiddos, eat up. Big day!
Matthew's superpower
is unbridled optimism.
Well, another thing he has
in common with Emeril Lagasse.
Can we get rid of the children?
Oh, yes, of course.
Sad boy, middle girl, cute one. Go.
Get ready, get dressed, shower.
Quickly. Quickly, please. Run.
- [Perry] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Run. Oh. Sorry, excuse me.
That one is mine.
Anything that is green is for Matthew.
Green for Greenlights.
I color code it like you do for a toddler.
I don't need to know your process.
Why don't you walk
your bouncy little tuchus somewhere
and get me a room-temperature Sprite.
And could you please check the thermostat?
Must be, like, 78 degrees in here.
I'm freezing! [sighs]
[Brian Williams]
Which is why, respectfully,
I think you're falling into
a classic anxious-avoidance
- attachment-style trap, Olive.
- Yes.
Respectfully, I think
the only trap that I fell into
was believing that my partner was DMing
a skanky astrology micro-influencer
named G-string Gemini for her "insights."
Jupiter was transiting
my seventh house, baby.
I know that doesn't mean anything
to you, but it does to me.
And the only reason that I DMed her
was for spiritual guidance.
But before I had the chance to explain
myself, you had ghosted me. There was
- Brian, you know what ghosting means?
- Yes.
I know "rizz" and "based"
and "6-7" and "brat summer" and--
- Wow. That stuff's all kinda old now.
- Hey, are we close?
Can we have a moment please, Brian?
All right. Which one says
"proud Texan with pink eye"?
I can't believe I fucked up your big day.
- I'm so sorry.
- Don't sweat it.
I was pissed at you at the beginning.
I mean, did I have a dog you
gave me swallowing your sewage,
licking me in the eye,
giving me pink eye in my bingo card?
No, I did not. But that's done.
This is where I thrive, man.
Play it where it lies.
I got this. We're good.
It's almost like when life throws darts at
you, they don't stick unless you let 'em.
- [clicks tongue]
- [chuckles]
You know what I was thinking about the
other day? True Detective, episode four.
- "Who Goes There?"
- A six-minute, ten-second tracking shot.
One take, no edits.
- [chuckles]
- We rehearsed that thing for months.
We're live, about to shoot. It's
3:00 in the morning, hotter than hell,
200 people on the crew have to be
in perfect synchronicity for this to work.
I'm like, "Dude, I don't know
how we're gonna pull this off."
"Actually, Wood.
I don't know how I'm gonna pull it off."
And do you remember what you said to me?
"I am your lighthouse."
Bing. "I'm your lighthouse."
Right? So I'm not fretting anything
that could go on out there today.
'Cause if I do happen to get
into any kind of pinch,
all I gotta do is look to you-know-who.
Ding.
My lighthouse. Love you, brother.
Love you, brother.
- [knock on door]
- How's the sleepover going?
It's your mom.
You want some pizza rolls? [chuckles]
Ooh, bolo ties. Amazing.
I'm obsessed. I love it.
- No bolo.
- Let's not do bolo. I hate it.
I hate the look.
Did you wanna do any more prep?
No. I'm ready to rock and roll here.
- Uh, they ready out there?
- Great.
Everybody's movin' and groovin'.
The spirits are high,
the vibes are immaculate, people are
screaming and dancing and laughing.
Um, there's just one small issue.
It's not even an issue.
It's just a thing.
Um, Brian Williams is missing.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What do you mean he's missing?
He could be dead.
Yes, I should not be sleeping
with a night-light.
I'm too old and I will own that.
But, baby, and I say this
with only love in my heart
But you have a serious intimacy problem.
Remember the paint and sip club?
- Yes, I do. What about it?
- Remember? You loved those gals.
They were your best friends for six weeks
until one of them invited you
on that girls trip and you got super
annoyed that they all chewed too loud.
- Yeah, 'cause that's--
- So annoyed, in fact,
that rather than have a conversation, you
called it quits on the club altogether.
That's what you do, baby. You run.
Do you see
what I'm dealing with here, Brian?
- Hey, does anyone have service here?
- Please admit Brian's right.
Just admit you have an
anxious-avoidant attachment style.
You are impossible!
I am getting claustrophobic
and I'd like to get out of this car.
- Are the child locks on?
- Read the fucking room, Brian!
I'm sorry I cursed, but fuck.
Come on, man.
[sighs]
Where the hell is Brian Williams?
He was supposed to be here 40 minutes ago.
Who does he think he is? Geraldo?
And I need another Sprite.
Hey, hey. Who knows more
in the world about Matthew than I do?
- I should do this interview.
- [Woody, Matthew] No.
- Absolutely not.
- Uh, it'd pull all the focus off me, Mom.
- Not a good idea.
- I'm not gonna argue with that.
I mean, I can't shut this off.
Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait.
Dad, Oprah.
You know Oprah?
Not like, personally.
Oh, so you're just saying names then?
- Yes.
- What about Hilary Duff?
- Maybe she wants to--
- No, no. I got it.
- What about Dax Shepy?
- Shepy who?
- Dax Shepard.
- [Ma Mac] Oh, yeah.
I was just on his podcast last week.
The guy's smart, he's popular,
he speaks to my demographic.
And I believe he said he was in town
this week shooting a Samsung ad.
- No, baby. I don't [stammers]
- No, no. Dax Shepard. That-That is good.
- That could actually work.
- I'll call him.
Uh, you know what?
I-I like the Oprah idea, Wyatt.
And I-I'll get a hold of Gayle.
But I just think we all need
to start thinking collectively
- about feathering the brakes
- Mm-hmm.
and just taking a breath.
This is not happening today.
- [Perry] Uh-oh, Woody.
- And by the way,
Brian Williams might resurface.
- Oh, he better.
- I'm sure whoever's keeping him
He's safe and h-hydrated.
Uh, yeah. I-I agree with Woody.
- No, no, no. We're not pushing.
- No, we're not.
Dax is in. Will be here within the hour.
- [Gwen] Yes.
- Oh.
I'm gonna go do a power meditation.
[Perry] You know who is gonna love this?
My nephew, Petey.
Dax is his hall pass.
Hey, hey, Petey. It's Aunt P.
- Guess what?
- Well, at least we tried.
Should I call off the kidnapping?
I'm sorry, what?
Now you want us to bring him back?
Okay. Well, it's gonna take a while.
[inhales deeply] Bye.
Turn around.
We're going back to the ranch.
Wait. Wha Back to where we were going?
Am I being trafficked?
It's more of a kidnapping.
Yeah.
[Jimmy] It's, like, a
temporary detainment maybe.
I just think trafficking is
a bit dramatic.
Oh, no. That flag. Turn it around
so all the stars are facing this way.
- Perry. Perry.
- Yeah. What is it?
I don't care what these clowns say.
I'm not about to have my son
go on national television
with an asshole
where his eyeball should be.
I'm talking to you mother to mother.
You are the only one around here
who's making any fucking sense.
It's nice to speak to a grown-up.
- Well, I
- Yeah, let me have this.
Okay, switch those cards there. Yeah.
Put Matthew in the tan chair.
Mm-hmm. All right. Mmm. Mmm.
Oh, dude.
- I miss hair.
- Can y'all give me a second?
[air dryer turns off]
[blows] All right, buddy.
Could you remind me
one more time why the hell I'm doing this?
- Matthew, I do not believe
- [humming rhythmically]
in institutions in general
or organized government specifically.
In fact, I have advocated,
uh, for their elimination.
But I believe you will make the greatest
governor this state has ever known.
- That's my man.
- Dax Shepard is here.
No autographs, no selfies.
[blows] All right, baby.
- Game time. Ding-ding.
- [Woody laughs]
Hey, you get lost out there,
just look over this way.
- And find my lighthouse.
- [chuckles]
- Good luck, Governor.
- Press record. [clicks tongue]
[exclaims] Whoo!
He has a really dimply smile that he uses
when he's talking about infrastructure
- Dax attack. My man. Dude!
- [laughs] Woody, what's up, dude?
- Good. Oh, my God.
- Good to see ya.
What's happening? Is that you on the bus?
- Yeah. We're all living on a bus.
- Wow.
- Financial, everything's good?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Got a dog named Little Woody, you know?
- Oh.
I'm singing-songwriting under a pseudonym.
No complaints.
- Okay. Yeah.
- I mean, but who'd listen, right?
- But Oh, but he's ready, I think.
- You could. Oh
- Look at this handsome dude.
- Hey.
- How are ya?
- Thank you for doing this.
- Yeah.
- What's happening? You get poked?
- I got a little pink eye. Yeah.
- Oh.
- Good thing we hugged.
- [both chuckle]
Materials.
[Matthew mumbles]
[crew member] Okay, going live.
- Uh, Matthew, my friend. Good to see you.
- Thank you for being here, bud.
You're a man of many talents.
You're an Oscar winner, uh, you have,
uh, twice written a bestseller.
- Actually, three. Yeah.
- Three?
- And you're a visiting professor at UT?
- Yeah, I created two classes over there.
[Dax] Incredible. I think we could do
an hour on any one of those topics,
but alas, that's not why we're here today.
You have a new gig
you wanna tell everyone about?
Yes, sir. I am honored today and,
uh, humbled to announce
that I am running
for governor of the great state of Texas.
Whoa.
From Wooderson to gubernatorial candidate.
I'm a fifth-generation Texan.
I know where the state's been, I know
where it is, I know where it's going.
I know that the good people of Texas,
they want good jobs.
They want safe schools for the children.
They want responsible law and order,
and most importantly,
they want a governor that they can trust.
And that's exactly
what I want to give you.
Nailed it.
Now, when you and I have talked over
the years, you've often framed
your Texas story as really a story
between you and your dad, Big Mac.
He was Texas.
And, uh, I consider myself and
somewhat see myself as the son of Texas.
Yeah, so given that, I-I-I can
only imagine what your reaction was
when you found out that Big Mac
wasn't your biological father.
What did he just say?
[Dax] That's something that you
just recently found out?
[laughs, stammers]
What are you talking about?
The DNA test they gave me.
[Dax] I mean, first you're finding
out that about your father,
but then to learn, on top of all that,
that you and your best friend,
Woody Harrelson,
actually share a biological father.
That had to be mind-blowing, no?
[stammers]
[stammers] Can we cut
Can we cut for a second?
[crew member] What's happening?
What-What i What is this? Is this real?
Dude. [stammers]
I'm just finding out about this too.
- But you knew about it.
- No, I didn't know.
But, Woody, there's your name
right there on the analysis.
I wanted to talk to you about this,
but I didn't want to talk to
you until I was absolutely--
- [people gasp]
- Dad?
Fucking lighthouse, huh?
- [groans]
- [Joy] Babe, are you okay?
[sighs]
- Okay.
- [Valentina] Matthew.
Oh.
My eye.
Bam!