DTF St. Louis (2026) s01e07 Episode Script
No One's Normal. It Just Looks That Way from Across the Street
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(FAINT TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(FLOYD SMERNITCH GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
DONOGHUE HOMER:
Floyd saw him nix it,
-you're saying?
-CLARK FORREST: Yes.
HOMER: Okay. Well
(STAMMERS) Why did he go
to the pool the next day,
in the very early morning,
if no one was gonna be there?
I-- I don't know.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Name. Tiger Tiger's name.
I don't--
I don't have his name.
It was a
a no-name scenario, he said.
HOMER: Yeah, that's that's
that's really
convenient for you.
There's no way I can find him
and get him to attest
to any of this bullshit. (SIGHS)
How can I find this guy, Clark,
to verify your story?
You know anything
about him? Any details?
(SCOOTER WHIRRING)
CLARK: He's on DTF.
HOMER: Tiger Tiger?
Well, no. (STAMMERS) As himself.
He-- he had a vous.
A rendezvous at a roller rink.
-HOMER: Local, here?
-CLARK: Yeah.
"No one's normal.
Just looks like that
from across the street."
That guy.
-CLARK: He said that, too.
-HOMER: (SIGHS) Said what?
He said that sentence to me.
Tiger Tiger. I remember.
Carol Smernitch.
Go interview her
about the second bike.
I signed your clearance.
I'm gonna go talk
to Modern Love.
("COMES THE SUN"
BY THE ARCHIES PLAYING) ♪
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun ♪
I feel it breakin'
Right out loud ♪
Kick off your shoes
Everything's new ♪
Listen to the breeze
Singin' to the trees ♪
Oh, la, la, la, la ♪
Let it shine, let it shine ♪
-La, la, la, la ♪
-(SONG FADES) ♪
The day before Floyd Smernitch
was killed
and visited by someone
on a bicycle like this,
you recovered this bicycle,
of Clark Forrest's,
from the Twyla Bicycle Shop.
Why?
Can you speak up?
(FIRMLY) You heard me.
My son wanted to ride
that bicycle to school,
for his first day
at a new school.
He thought it was cool,
even though it's not.
But that's what he thought,
and, uh, that's what
he wanted to do. So
I paid
all that sprocket money,
and, uh, yeah.
The morning.
That early morning
when Floyd was
at the Kevin Kline,
in the pool shed,
where were you?
On the morning of November 8th,
uh, that's the day
before Floyd Smernitch
was discovered dead,
you had a DTF encounter.
Yes, I had a DTF encounter
the morning before.
Where was that encounter?
Here.
Uh, I had
a roller-skating scenario
that I wanted to explore.
And you made that arrangement
with someone on DTF?
Couples skate was the, uh
thing. Just rolling
and holding hands.
-That was my, um
-Rolling and holding hands?
-Yeah.
-HOMER: Uh-huh.
So, you arranged to m--
Was it a man you were?
Yeah, it could've been a woman,
but roller-skating aptitude
-HOMER: Mm.
-was, uh
part of the thing,
and only a man answered.
HOMER: How did that work?
Just like, uh,
we had the rink to ourselves,
and we rolled around
holding hands.
-Holding hands?
-It's a pretty common thing.
Like, your dad takes your hand
when you cross the street
or enter a haunted house
to make you feel safe, you know?
And you do it on dates.
There's a thrill
at the beginning.
And years can go by
without that now.
-Without holding hands?
-It's a nice feeling.
When was the last time
you did it?
My
My wife.
-Yeah, I guess. Years ago.
-(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
CHRISTOPHER ROBERT SPURCE:
It's a very positive one.
Like, you don't really end
anymore where you used to.
You just keep on going.
You did this with a man
that morning, November 8th?
Yes.
Did you talk to this man?
Yeah, plenty.
Kevin. From Chicago.
HOMER:
He was visiting from Chicago?
Yeah, he was in town
for a couple of days.
Do you have his full name?
Kevin
Van Der Lonse.
(QUIETLY) S, uh, E.
(PENSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
Where were you between
4:30 and 5:00 a.m., then?
Beside my son.
He had had a rough night.
I slept in a chair in there,
in his room.
Beside my son.
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
I just have one last question.
What happened
to Mr. Smernitch's penis?
We've heard accounts of the day
of the trauma.
Cars, a motorcycle.
But those events weren't--
Right, that's a day
That's a day that I don't like
to think about.
And it--
You don't need to know.
Floyd wasn't killed because
he had a crooked dick.
So, thank you for asking,
but no.
Our lives were changed that day
and not because of dick reasons.
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Okay. That's fine.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-Uh, we learned the husband,
he knew.
He knew about the affair
his wife was having
with Forrest.
Yeah,
then he threatened Forrest.
Then he was killed.
-That's motive.
-HOMER: No, no.
He knew about the affair
in the sense that
in the sense that
he would watch.
The husband, we learned.
-Watch what?
-HOMER: The affair.
From the closet.
He was a part of it.
I mean, that was a part of it.
They were all consenting.
That's Really?
The other guy? He watched too.
It was a thing.
Just all of them, you know.
(PENSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
What are you saying, Detective?
The case was sound.
-It's less sound the more I
-The more you believe him.
Yeah.
BOB DALT:
Well, I don't believe him.
Forrest gets a prescription
for Amphezyne, yeah?
To help some other guy
fuck his girlfriend?
Have you ever done a favor
for a friend like that?
I have not. No.
HOMER: There's another bike.
The wife had it.
She has a record.
We're trying
to determine for what.
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(SIGHS)
Tiger Tiger, that meetup?
I found him.
What if he corroborates?
Corroborates
the weatherman's story?
Yeah.
-Then I'm listening.
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
HOMER: I think I can prove
Forrest didn't do it.
-Tiger Tiger.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
JODIE PLUMB: I think I can prove
Carol didn't do it.
Stephen Queece.
DEPUTY: Kevin Van Der Lonse?
Are you Kevin Van Der Lonse?
Yeah.
-They want you.
-Oh.
HOMER: Kevin.
Did Clark Forrest
hire you to come to St. Louis
and pretend to be a Tiger Tiger
to meet a man
at the Kevin Kline Junior Pools
early November?
Yes.
But
But I see him the day before,
the sign language guy.
Nice face. Okay, great.
Just, the whole package
wasn't my kind of--
wasn't my kind of package.
(FLOYD GRUNTS, GROANS)
Older than like--
Not real together, so
And I know that sounds harsh,
but I didn't wanna go there
and disappoint everyone.
You know, make him feel worse.
Because the other guy said
that he had been feeling like
like sad for a while.
So, I just left.
You never went to that meeting?
At the pools?
No.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
KEVIN VAN DER LONSE:
I left the day before.
And Clark Forrest
never asked you
to show up and bring
a Bloody Mary with you,
or anything like that?
You know, give this guy a drink,
or anything like that?
No. Clark just wanted me to come
and be around his friend.
And if I got aroused,
hey, all right.
He said that would be great
for the other guy,
in terms of his feelings
and stuff.
If it so happened.
But, you know,
it wasn't gonna so happen,
so-- so I left.
Why did he go?
-To the pools?
-KEVIN: Yeah.
Because I called it off.
So why did he still go?
(SIGHS) Tiger Tiger, man,
I just don't know.
CLARK:
I'm sorry about the nix.
(PAINTBALL GUNS
POPPING IN DISTANCE)
FLOYD: This is a good idea.
Just get out and have some fun.
Yeah.
(DISTANT CLAMOR)
FLOYD: Tough week.
CLARK: Yeah.
I don't really wanna shoot you
with a paintball gun, though.
FLOYD: You know,
I don't-- I don't really
wanna shoot you either.
Maybe we just sit
in the forest and talk?
-CLARK: Cool. Yeah.
-FLOYD: Cool.
CAROL LOVE-SMERNITCH:
Yeah, you kind of
gotta use your weight
to guide it a little bit.
-That's good.
-RICHARD: Yeah, it's cool.
(LAUGHING) I don't know, is it?
Yeah. I mean, it's a cool bike.
If I ride it to school,
it's my first day at Washington,
they'll think I'm cool.
Oh.
You sure you think
it's a cool bike?
Because maybe it's not.
RICHARD: Yeah. Floyd rides it.
Mr. Forrest. It's really cool.
It's low. I mean
Yeah, I don't know
if that makes it cool.
How 'bout I just drive you
for your first day?
RICHARD: Nah,
I'm gonna take this bike.
Okay. Well, maybe just
give it a little thought.
(RECUMBENT BIKE WHIRRING)
RICHARD: Whoa.
CLARK: You know,
my job is stupid.
Your job is important,
and you should feel good
about yourself.
FLOYD: Your job is not stupid.
I hold the sun
in my hand on billboards.
It's embarrassing.
You can't hold the sun
in your hand.
Yeah, it would be hot.
-CLARK: Yeah.
-(CHUCKLES)
Your job
It's one of the things
I started liking about you,
you're so good at it, you know,
you connect to people.
You tell people
when it's gonna rain.
They need that
on a day-to-day basis.
I'm just a face.
You're a heart, so come on.
(IN ASL)
-(DISTANT CLAMOR)
-(PAINTBALL GUNS POPPING)
(RECUMBENT BIKE WHIRRING)
CAROL: Bye. Have fun at school.
(SIGHS)
Hey, ump money
You're coming with me ♪
Today's the fuckin' day
We get a new furniture set ♪
More grown up
And bedding and shit ♪
For Richard's room ♪
Fuck yeah ♪
I wanna matter
to someone, I guess.
You matter.
You matter to your girls.
-You matter to Eimy.
-Yeah. I do.
I'm going to sound like a jerk
saying this,
'cause who am I to say this?
But, um
You know, I've mattered to them
for 12 straight years, and
I don't know.
I wanna matter
to someone else also.
I guess.
That's middle age talking.
That thing
with Carol this summer,
I think
I wanted to matter
to someone again, so
(SOF
INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Shit cost a little more
Than I thought ♪
But I got
Some really good shit here ♪
(SIGHS)
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
FLOYD: She worked so hard
getting me ready for that test.
CLARK: You talking
about the financial thing?
Yeah, she was Yeah,
she even made flashcards
for the math that I didn't know.
And we worked on it together
for, like, over a year.
And then, finally, we get there,
and it's like,
"I don't wanna do this anymore.
I just want to sign."
-Signing's important.
-FLOYD: (SCOFFS) Yeah.
I could feel it.
It was like this tornado
just came down
and was like--
swept up all the sexy,
cool, fun stuff between us,
and it just
(IMITATES GUST)
took it up in the air,
took it away when I told her.
We-- We met during a tornado.
Yeah, that tornado
that's when you started
to tell me the story
about your penis,
and you never finished that.
Oh, yeah? My penis story?
Uh, where did I leave off?
There was that thing
with the car.
Yeah, you said that,
and then the motorcycle
almost hit your dick,
but it didn't.
Oh, yeah. No.
And then I came home,
and I told Carol
that we'd always have
to struggle.
Always.
Like, always.
Marry me, always struggle.
That's what I said. I mean,
might as well have been.
Yeah, and she cried.
Yeah, Richard saw that.
That was that day.
Yeah, except what happened
to your penis?
Oh. Um, we just went to bed,
and then, uh,
Richard came in
and hit me in the dick
with a baseball bat.
Poor kid.
I feel so bad for him. I mean
(INHALES DEEPLY)
I-- I-- I made his mom cry.
He was so young. He didn't know
what was going on,
and I made his mom cry.
And he just
I don't know. I mean, I just
I just love that kid so much.
And, uh
he needs his mom,
and I-- I hurt her.
And it's just my dick.
I mean, it's not like I
(SCOFFS)
needed that for anything
for like six years, seven years.
-That's middle age talking.
-Yeah.
Same boat, you and me.
S-- Summer's over, feels like.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Yeah. All I got to show for it
is a little color on my run.
You know, Floyd,
I don't know,
what-- what if you
What if you go
to the Kevin Kline pools
-in the morning
-(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
just like the plan?
-The Tiger Tiger plan?
-Yeah.
And-- And there would
There'd be
like a surprise there.
Be a reason.
You know, a good reason.
-Tomorrow morning?
-Mm-hmm.
I go and there's, like,
a surprise for me there
or something?
I don't know.
That sounds kind of exciting.
It sounds kind of fun.
I don't know. I guess
I don't know, I guess.
I don't know.
Bring your Playgirl spread.
Should I be ready for anything?
Should I bring
my curve cocktail?
You be ready for anything.
I gotta tell Carol
I'm going out of town.
I mean, I can't leave
at 3:30 in the morning.
Stay at the Quality Garden.
Use my account.
Cool.
("YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE"
BY ELIZABETH MITCHELL PLAYING) ♪
(RECUMBENT BIKE WHIRRING)
(SIGHS)
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine ♪
You make me happy
When skies are gray ♪
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you ♪
Please don't take ♪
-Wait, what? What?
-My sunshine away ♪
What? This is so cool.
What? Oh, my gosh.
What?
(IMITATES DINOSAUR ROAR)
-I did that one. (CHUCKLES)
-RICHARD: What? This is so cool.
-Oh, my gosh.
-Good one, Carol Love.
-Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
-(SONG CONCLUDES) ♪
RICHARD: So cool. Thank you.
Where is it you said
you were going again?
I don't remember you telling me.
Jeff City.
It's the governor's presser.
I'm signing it tomorrow morning.
It's about voting
or something important.
Well, be careful driving.
Okay.
-Bye, Carol Love.
-Bye, sweetie.
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Hey, you going
to sweep something up?
-(DOOR OPENS)
-Richard?
(DOOR CLOSES)
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-(GASPS)
-(CRYING)
-All right. Richard,
what is wrong?
No! Don't tell Floyd!
Don't tell Floyd!
I'm not going to.
I'm not going to.
-What is wrong?
-Don't tell him!
Don't! Don't tell him!
-Don't tell him!
-I won't.
It's okay. It's okay, honey.
DOCTOR:
He's doing better. He's calmed.
He's calm now.
CAROL: I'm worried.
Is he gonna hurt himself?
DOCTOR: Well, let's keep him
here for a little bit,
a few hours. We'll see
how the diazepam worked.
He's had events like this?
CAROL: Yeah.
DOCTOR: Okay.
Was there a trigger tonight?
CAROL: We had a good day.
DOCTOR:
Nothing provoked this? Tonight?
CAROL: We had a really good day,
and the night was just normal.
DOCTOR: Okay.
Well, we'll check on him
in a little bit then.
CAROL: Okay.
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMEN
OVER PA)
(PENSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(FLOYD GRUNTS, PANTS)
-(RAIN PATTERING)
-Are you tired?
We'll get home
and get right to bed, okay?
(BUS ENGINE RUMBLING SOFTLY)
-CAROL: Get some sleep, okay?
-(RICHARD SNIFFLES)
CAROL: We don't have
to figure anything out.
We can figure it out
tomorrow, okay?
Good night. I love you.
RICHARD: Okay.
Hey. I love you.
RICHARD: Yeah, I-- I heard you.
-(INSECTS CHIRPING)
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
DEPUTY: Stephen Queece?
HOMER: So,
how you spelling that, Queece?
-Spelling what?
-HOMER: "Queece."
Q-U-E-E-C-E. Queece.
HOMER: Queece, you do
a few things in Twyla, hmm?
Primarily, I'm a student.
But you're also
president
of the Umpires Association
-of St. Louis County?
-Yes.
HOMER: How old are you?
I'm 15 years of age.
Stephen, did you place this item
in the mailbox
of the Smernitch home?
It's an award.
Umpire of the Year.
It's a certificate of that.
Yeah, there's no stamp.
Did you put this award
in the Smernitch mailbox
on November 8th?
I don't remember the date.
Well, we retrieved it.
Uh, we collected it
and impounded it
on the morning
of November 9th, so
Then it was that morning.
-The 9th?
-STEPHEN QUEECE: Yeah.
'Cause I put it in
the mailbox in the morning
on my paper route.
-You're a paper boy?
-Paper person.
Hmm.
And I placed it in the mailbox
of the Smernitch home
on that morning
on my paper person route.
How early would that have been?
-Pretty early.
-Like, specifically?
Specifically,
that would have been
between about 4:30 a.m.
and 5:00-ish a.m.
And why didn't you mail it?
It's Umpire of the Year.
STEPHEN: I walk past
the Smernitch home
on my paper person route,
and I thought Carol
would be really happy
to receive the award.
For Umpire of the Year.
She's, um
Carol's umpiring,
that was a real uphill battle.
At the beginning
of umpiring baseball,
I don't think
Carol knew what, like,
-balls and strikes were.
-(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
STEPHEN: And Carol had good
and bad days.
CAROL: Where is field two?
STEPHEN: She-- She wasn't,
like, totally perfect.
But, mostly,
she was pretty great.
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-(UMPIRE GRUNTS)
STEPHEN:
She would stay sometimes
to learn about the game.
And when I award someone
the award
for Umpire of the Year,
it's on the basis
of how that umpire
takes care of the kids.
Ball four. Take your base.
STEPHEN: And Carol fudged a lot
for the kids who struggled.
-Strike three. Batter out.
-STEPHEN: And most of the time,
if you struck out
CAROL: Hey.
she'd send you out
with a pat on the back.
You'll get him next time.
Chin up, Ramirez.
STEPHEN: It's all part
of being Umpire of the Year.
And that's why this year
that award went
to Carol Smernitch.
And she was there.
She was in the chair there.
And I was like
Usually,
when I approach a home,
the lights are off.
No one's there.
-But-- But the lights were on.
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
When you approach a home
as a paper person, right?
-Yeah.
-HOMER: Okay.
I don't
approach homes otherwise.
And you placed this award
in her mailbox then,
the morning of November 9th?
If that's
when you found it, yes.
Between 4:30 a.m.
and 5:00 a.m.,
you saw her then?
That's my paper person window,
yes.
You saw Carol Smernitch there,
in the chair,
right there,
during that time frame?
Why is that so important?
Because
that's when her husband
That's when he was dying.
She was asleep.
Uh, okay, Queece. Thank you.
-That is all?
-HOMER: That is all.
Uh, you run
a nice baseball association, um,
umpire thing.
Just keep up the good work.
(BROODING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(DOOR OPENING)
(DOOR CLOSING)
Her sealed conviction.
Shoplifting toilet paper
when she was a child.
She just grew up poor.
-Never hurt anyone.
-HOMER: Hmm.
Tiger Tiger's gonna come
to court
and say Forrest didn't do it.
Queece will come in
and say she didn't either.
HOMER: What did we just do?
Did we just team up
to not solve a murder?
CLARA GILCHRIST:
What's your position
with the district attorney
going to be, Detective Homer?
Uh, that you can now put
a witness up
to corroborate
Mr. Forrest's account.
Tiger Tiger.
I'm gonna tell Bob Dalt
that I wouldn't make
this arrest today, that
(SIGHS)
I believe
Clark Forrest's account
of the events
of the past summer are
largely true.
CLARA: Clark.
They're going to drop your case.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
HOMER: That's why I'm here.
I'm obligated to inform
the defendant first.
Any new evidence going
into the record,
-you first.
-(SIGHS)
CLARA: And you're free.
Well, you're going
to be free, uh,
-next week, most likely.
-(CHUCKLES)
And, uh, then
there'll be a new case
when we can prove Not me.
Um, when somebody, someday,
can prove who that was
that rode all the way up there
on that bicycle
and was with Floyd Smernitch
when he was killed.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, that was me.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
CLARK: At the Kevin Kline pools.
Yeah, that was me.
(SLURPS)
CLARK:
I rode there on my bicycle.
I thought I could
give him something
he seemed to need.
-(GRUNTS)
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(GROANS)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
CLARK: Hey. Okay?
Okay. Hey.
(DOOR OPENS)
Hey.
Hey.
(CHUCKLES)
What's that?
FLOYD: Uh, it's, uh, Amphezyne.
I poured it in here.
I didn't wanna be presumptuous
and take it in front of someone.
You have to take it late.
Yeah. Did you just take some?
Take a safe amount?
Yeah. I took the other
boner medication earlier.
What are you doing here, man?
Uh, well, I'm just
I'm just gonna go for it,
in terms of, uh, just
just saying things to you,
you know,
um, uh, my friendship feelings.
Uh
Pretty complex.
Yeah.
I admire you.
Same.
You're full of love.
And, like,
comedy, you know, between us.
-There's a lot.
-A lot-lot.
Yeah.
And, um,
I feel safe.
You know, and it's
I don't know, with you.
You know, you Frenched that guy
so you don't hurt his feelings?
You know, come on. I mean
Is that the Playgirl?
Can I see that?
(PAGES RUSTLING)
CLARK: This is, uh
It's cool, you know?
Slender. Okay.
Uh, but hey, I
I don't feel safe with this guy.
I feel safe with this guy,
from the cyclone and right now.
(CHUCKLES)
So
meat on the bones is okay?
I've been trying for less meat.
Or try just loving yourself,
like I do.
Like you love yourself?
No.
Like I love you.
You know, with, uh
complex
Complex what?
Complex feelings. I don't know.
I just think you should
love yourself, man.
Do you love yourself, man?
Not lately. No.
-Why?
-Mm.
What don't you love
about yourself?
Like, my legs. (LAUGHS)
Yeah, you always wear sweatpants
to the gym.
I don't even really know
what your legs look like.
Yeah,
not my favorite part of, uh
Yeah, for me,
it would be my mid-area.
-Mm.
-(CHUCKLES)
Like
Like, my lats.
They kind of like dead end.
You know?
Like, I don't have, like,
a nice line like you,
like you do.
My lats?
Yeah, you--
you have a nice lat line.
It's like I notice it
when you wear that V-neck, uh,
gray pocket tee you wear
to the gym sometimes.
Like, come. Let me show you.
Like, you have a--
you have a nice line.
Like your--
your lat line goes right down
across your RC.
-RC?
-Yeah, your rib cage.
It goes--
goes all the way down,
like, almost past--
Yeah, like all the way down
past your RC.
That's like a feature
of, you know (EXHALES)
classical-- like beautiful
classical sculptures.
That was called a long body.
I don't have that.
Mine's like, um, stout.
Strong.
FLOYD:
You think it's in your head
that you
that you don't like your legs?
Yeah, they were pretty skinny
when I was a kid.
Yeah, I get it.
I mean, you-- your legs fill out
in middle age.
Like here, let me, uh--
Like, let me show you. Um
Like, in this picture.
Yeah, this one where
I'm dealing with the skeletons.
Like, you see how
my legs are tapered there
and they're, like, less stout?
Whereas, like, now,
like, they've grown.
And so (GRUNTS) it's like
a much bigger
-a much bigger base.
-Yeah.
-Yeah. Yeah, that's
-See?
-Stout.
-CLARK: Yeah.
-That's better.
-Like a bigger base.
I can see that.
That's better. That's a
Yeah. That's a better base.
Do you think it's, um
It's just you think
they're skinny
'cause of all those
painful years of you as a kid?
'Cause I think you've got a--
a nice base, man.
You think
You think that maybe
it's just in my head?
FLOYD: Yeah.
Oh. (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
Yeah, come on!
Yes. All in your head.
Thanks.
Thanks. You-- You know,
you did some
really nice sculpting,
uh, over the summer.
I-- I think
I think
I think Tiger Tiger's crazy.
Yeah, I think
I think Carol's crazy.
Crazy? How?
("I'M GONNA LOVE YOU
JUST A LITTLE MORE BABY"
BY BARRY WHITE PLAYING) ♪
(CHUCKLES)
It feels so good ♪
You lying here next to me ♪
Oh, what a groove ♪
You have no idea
How it feels ♪
FLOYD: We're having fun now.
(LAUGHS) Fun in the forest.
My hands
Just won't keep still ♪
I love you, baby ♪
(FLOYD CHUCKLES)
Oh, I love you, I love you
I love you ♪
I just wanna hold you ♪
Run my fingers
Through your hair ♪
CLARK: I, uh
I put that swing set next
to the fence
'cause there's
a woman over there
that, uh, makes me feel
a certain feeling.
And, uh, I look over there to,
you know,
see what I might be missing.
And, uh, um, there's a
there's a guy over there, too.
Come here
Closer, close ♪
I dunno. He's got this
certain vitality that I like.
I like I like to look at.
Oh, baby
Give it up ♪
And maybe I
maybe I want his easy life.
You know, he--
they don't have kids, and
But, um,
maybe I like
just looking at him.
I don't know.
It's been a really
confusing summer.
I'm so in love with you ♪
For me
There's no way out, 'cause ♪
Deeper and deeper ♪
In love with you I'm falling ♪
Sweeter and sweeter ♪
Your tender words
Of love keep calling ♪
Eager and eager, yeah ♪
To feel your lips
Upon my face ♪
Please her and please her ♪
Any time or any place ♪
I'm gonna love you
Love you, love you ♪
Just a little more, baby ♪
HOMER: So, what did you
want to give him, Clark,
that you thought he needed?
An arousal.
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) ♪
Oh, baby ♪
CLARK: You know, for you,
uh, you had that thing
happen with Carol.
And, uh,
what I want to tell you is,
what if I had
a different reaction to you?
Like
if you danced and I didn't,
and I just stood here
and I watched you,
and I and I had a reaction.
How would that make you feel?
Good.
Not complex, or
We can just start with good.
I haven't felt good in so long.
If you wanna sit there
and feel your feelings,
it'll make me happy, okay?
No biggie.
-No biggie?
-FLOYD: No, no biggie.
Your tender words of love
Keep calling ♪
I'm gonna love you
Love you, love you ♪
Just a little more, baby ♪
I'm gonna need you
Need you, need you ♪
Every day ♪
I'm gonna want you
Want you, want you ♪
In every way, yeah ♪
Oh, stop that babe ♪
'Cause I swear to God
You understand ♪
I can't
I can't believe that I'm ♪
-Floyd, can you stop the music?
-That I'm really here ♪
It's like
It's like sometimes, baby ♪
You are somethin'
You are somethin' ♪
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-Such a groove ♪
It's hard to believe
You're really there doin' it ♪
(SONG CUTS OFF) ♪
I don't know what I'm doing.
I think I'm
I think I'm just
I'm fucking lonely, man.
I think I'm just
just lonely as shit.
-I'm so sorry.
-Hey, no. It's okay.
It's okay, it's okay.
-I'm so sorry.
-Hey, hey, it's okay.
CLARK:
I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know
what I'm doing in here.
I don't know
what I'm doing in life.
I think I fucked everything up
this summer.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
It's okay.
And I don't-- I don't have
any of those feelings.
I'm so sorry.
I know. You're safe.
-You're with me.
-(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Yeah, that's about
when he said he left.
On his way from the pool house.
Makes his way east,
just like he said.
Nothing unusual, next.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
JODIE: Monitor D, again.
(MOUSE CLICKS)
-JODIE: Pause.
-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-JODIE: Pause B.
-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-JODIE: Go in.
-(MOUSE CLICKS REPEATEDLY)
JODIE: Same on D.
(MOUSE CLICKS REPEATEDLY)
(MUSIC BUILDS) ♪
Those are two different bikes.
(MOUSE CLICKING REPEATEDLY)
HOMER: That's the one
from the bike shop.
They're both within blocks
of the pool house.
Both bikes were out there
that morning.
(MOUSE CLICKS)
My son wanted to ride
that bicycle to school.
It's the boy.
There was trouble with him
that night.
He had a good day.
CAROL: Do you like the sheets?
Yeah, Pteranodon. I love them.
CAROL: Mm, I thought
you should have a few new things
for your room.
Thanks, Mom.
CAROL: Okay. Good night.
I love you.
I love you too.
HOMER: And then there was
violence out of nowhere.
There was, just from the boy.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
CONTINUES) ♪
Call up Floyd Smernitch's log
from his laptop,
from his last night, please.
There was a worksheet.
I-- I remember a worksheet.
It was open.
(MOUSE CLICKS)
(MOUSE PAD CLICKS)
HOMER: What time did Carol say
the kid had his episode?
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-(GASPS)
They arrived at the hospital
at 8:22.
HOMER: This worksheet was closed
at 7:53.
JODIE: What's the importance?
HOMER: He was looking at this.
He closed this.
(MOUSE CLICKS)
HOMER: He sees this.
(MUSIC FALLING) ♪
DTF St. Louis.
He saw it.
-(BIRDS CHIRPING)
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
HOMER: Why did you pick
this place to talk?
RICHARD: I don't know.
I don't know a lot of places.
I knew this place.
Uh, you're in no trouble.
None.
Uh, I want to start there, okay?
So, you rode a bicycle,
uh, one of Mr. Forrest's,
to the pools,
the pools they were
shutting down for the autumn,
very early in the morning.
-Why?
-RICHARD: To tell Floyd.
I told him he was a fat asshole.
He was cheating on my mom.
He was a liar.
He was a fat asshole
and no one loves him.
HOMER: Okay, okay.
It's-- It's okay.
It's okay.
And you saw him there?
Yeah.
Dancing with Mr. Forrest.
In his underwear.
With Mr. Forrest.
Okay.
It's okay.
Can we move over there?
We can move anywhere you want.
-Did you speak to Floyd
that night?
-(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
After Mr. Forrest left.
JODIE:
What did Mr. Smernitch say
when you said those things
to him at the window?
RICHARD: Floyd didn't, um
Floyd didn't say anything.
He just looked at me.
He didn't care.
How do you know he didn't care?
Because when I started to leave,
he knocked on the window
so I would turn back.
JODIE: Did you turn back?
-Yeah.
-And what did Floyd do?
He told me to rock on.
And just stood there
in his underwear,
staring at me, getting drunk.
-"Rock on"?
-RICHARD: Yeah, he, um
He went like this,
through the window.
HOMER: Well, how do you know
he was getting drunk?
Because he just drank
the whole thing that he had
while he was looking at me.
(POIGNANT MUSIC OVERLAPPING) ♪
JODIE: Okay.
Is this what he was drinking?
Uh, yeah. He, um
he drank the whole thing.
Right there in his underwear.
That's not what that means.
This doesn't mean "rock on."
Well, what does it mean?
It means "I love you."
(SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
RICHARD:
Wanna see something cool?
HOMER: Yeah.
If you just start
doing it every day,
then you could do it every day.
HOMER: Oh, that is cool.
JODIE: Yeah, that's cool.
CAROL: Yeah, it is.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
(DISTANT HORN HONKING)
I thought it was
a British TV network, BBC,
but you're saying
it's also
-Big Black Cock.
-Oh, yeah. Okay.
Well, you got your DTF,
your BBC.
SPH.
-What's that?
-Small Penis Humiliation.
How does that work?
That works where
men like to be taunted
about their small dicks.
-They like that?
-They love it.
-(SIGHS)
-(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Yeah.
That's what's going on
behind all these closed doors.
Cucking, cosplay, nut kicking.
-Nut kicking?
-Right in the nuts, yeah.
Okay.
Who-- Who gets enjoyment
out of that?
-The kicker or the nut man?
-The nut man.
(CHUCKLING) I don't get it.
I don't get it. I
Boy, I fucked this up.
Man. Just I
I like boobs, okay?
I like boobs and I like butts.
I hope that's okay to say.
Yes, that's okay to say.
(LAUGHS)
Okay.
(SIGHS)
You like something else.
I do?
No, no, no.
-Just boobs and butts.
-JODIE: Yeah.
You have something else.
I know it. Everyone does.
Okay.
Yeah? Come on.
I like,
if the setting is right
I like bras a little bit.
The nice lace, nice lighting.
It can be fetching. A nice bra.
-A nice bra?
-Yeah.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, my God.
You're so normal you're weird.
Okay.
-(CHUCKLES)
-(HOMER GRUNTS)
(SIGHS)
Good job, Detective.
Thanks, Homer.
("THE FLESH FAILURES
(LET THE SUNSHINE IN)"
BY MELBA MOORE PLAYING) ♪
Nice bra. Oh, my God.
So So the nut man
really likes it?
The nut man really loves it.
Okay.
(JODIE LAUGHS)
We starve
Look at one another ♪
Short of breath ♪
Walking proudly
In our winter coats ♪
Of our lives
I fashion my future ♪
On films in space ♪
Of moving paper fantasy ♪
Listening for
The new-told lies ♪
With supreme visions
Of lonely tunes ♪
Silence tells me secretly ♪
Everything ♪
Everything ♪
Let the sunshine ♪
Let the sunshine in ♪
(DOOR LOCK CLICKING)
The sunshine in ♪
Why don't you let? ♪
Let the sunshine ♪
Let the sunshine in ♪
The sunshine in ♪
You ought to let ♪
Let the sunshine ♪
Let the sunshine in ♪
The sunshine in ♪
Let, let, let it in ♪
Let the sunshine ♪
Let the sunshine in ♪
(SONG CONCLUDES) ♪
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(FLOYD BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GROANS)
(FLOYD MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)
(BELT CLINKING)
(GROANS, PANTS)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GASPS, WHEEZES)
(SOBS)
(EXHALES)
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(FAINT TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(FLOYD SMERNITCH GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
DONOGHUE HOMER:
Floyd saw him nix it,
-you're saying?
-CLARK FORREST: Yes.
HOMER: Okay. Well
(STAMMERS) Why did he go
to the pool the next day,
in the very early morning,
if no one was gonna be there?
I-- I don't know.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Name. Tiger Tiger's name.
I don't--
I don't have his name.
It was a
a no-name scenario, he said.
HOMER: Yeah, that's that's
that's really
convenient for you.
There's no way I can find him
and get him to attest
to any of this bullshit. (SIGHS)
How can I find this guy, Clark,
to verify your story?
You know anything
about him? Any details?
(SCOOTER WHIRRING)
CLARK: He's on DTF.
HOMER: Tiger Tiger?
Well, no. (STAMMERS) As himself.
He-- he had a vous.
A rendezvous at a roller rink.
-HOMER: Local, here?
-CLARK: Yeah.
"No one's normal.
Just looks like that
from across the street."
That guy.
-CLARK: He said that, too.
-HOMER: (SIGHS) Said what?
He said that sentence to me.
Tiger Tiger. I remember.
Carol Smernitch.
Go interview her
about the second bike.
I signed your clearance.
I'm gonna go talk
to Modern Love.
("COMES THE SUN"
BY THE ARCHIES PLAYING) ♪
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun ♪
I feel it breakin'
Right out loud ♪
Kick off your shoes
Everything's new ♪
Listen to the breeze
Singin' to the trees ♪
Oh, la, la, la, la ♪
Let it shine, let it shine ♪
-La, la, la, la ♪
-(SONG FADES) ♪
The day before Floyd Smernitch
was killed
and visited by someone
on a bicycle like this,
you recovered this bicycle,
of Clark Forrest's,
from the Twyla Bicycle Shop.
Why?
Can you speak up?
(FIRMLY) You heard me.
My son wanted to ride
that bicycle to school,
for his first day
at a new school.
He thought it was cool,
even though it's not.
But that's what he thought,
and, uh, that's what
he wanted to do. So
I paid
all that sprocket money,
and, uh, yeah.
The morning.
That early morning
when Floyd was
at the Kevin Kline,
in the pool shed,
where were you?
On the morning of November 8th,
uh, that's the day
before Floyd Smernitch
was discovered dead,
you had a DTF encounter.
Yes, I had a DTF encounter
the morning before.
Where was that encounter?
Here.
Uh, I had
a roller-skating scenario
that I wanted to explore.
And you made that arrangement
with someone on DTF?
Couples skate was the, uh
thing. Just rolling
and holding hands.
-That was my, um
-Rolling and holding hands?
-Yeah.
-HOMER: Uh-huh.
So, you arranged to m--
Was it a man you were?
Yeah, it could've been a woman,
but roller-skating aptitude
-HOMER: Mm.
-was, uh
part of the thing,
and only a man answered.
HOMER: How did that work?
Just like, uh,
we had the rink to ourselves,
and we rolled around
holding hands.
-Holding hands?
-It's a pretty common thing.
Like, your dad takes your hand
when you cross the street
or enter a haunted house
to make you feel safe, you know?
And you do it on dates.
There's a thrill
at the beginning.
And years can go by
without that now.
-Without holding hands?
-It's a nice feeling.
When was the last time
you did it?
My
My wife.
-Yeah, I guess. Years ago.
-(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
CHRISTOPHER ROBERT SPURCE:
It's a very positive one.
Like, you don't really end
anymore where you used to.
You just keep on going.
You did this with a man
that morning, November 8th?
Yes.
Did you talk to this man?
Yeah, plenty.
Kevin. From Chicago.
HOMER:
He was visiting from Chicago?
Yeah, he was in town
for a couple of days.
Do you have his full name?
Kevin
Van Der Lonse.
(QUIETLY) S, uh, E.
(PENSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
Where were you between
4:30 and 5:00 a.m., then?
Beside my son.
He had had a rough night.
I slept in a chair in there,
in his room.
Beside my son.
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
I just have one last question.
What happened
to Mr. Smernitch's penis?
We've heard accounts of the day
of the trauma.
Cars, a motorcycle.
But those events weren't--
Right, that's a day
That's a day that I don't like
to think about.
And it--
You don't need to know.
Floyd wasn't killed because
he had a crooked dick.
So, thank you for asking,
but no.
Our lives were changed that day
and not because of dick reasons.
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Okay. That's fine.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-Uh, we learned the husband,
he knew.
He knew about the affair
his wife was having
with Forrest.
Yeah,
then he threatened Forrest.
Then he was killed.
-That's motive.
-HOMER: No, no.
He knew about the affair
in the sense that
in the sense that
he would watch.
The husband, we learned.
-Watch what?
-HOMER: The affair.
From the closet.
He was a part of it.
I mean, that was a part of it.
They were all consenting.
That's Really?
The other guy? He watched too.
It was a thing.
Just all of them, you know.
(PENSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
What are you saying, Detective?
The case was sound.
-It's less sound the more I
-The more you believe him.
Yeah.
BOB DALT:
Well, I don't believe him.
Forrest gets a prescription
for Amphezyne, yeah?
To help some other guy
fuck his girlfriend?
Have you ever done a favor
for a friend like that?
I have not. No.
HOMER: There's another bike.
The wife had it.
She has a record.
We're trying
to determine for what.
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(SIGHS)
Tiger Tiger, that meetup?
I found him.
What if he corroborates?
Corroborates
the weatherman's story?
Yeah.
-Then I'm listening.
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
HOMER: I think I can prove
Forrest didn't do it.
-Tiger Tiger.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
JODIE PLUMB: I think I can prove
Carol didn't do it.
Stephen Queece.
DEPUTY: Kevin Van Der Lonse?
Are you Kevin Van Der Lonse?
Yeah.
-They want you.
-Oh.
HOMER: Kevin.
Did Clark Forrest
hire you to come to St. Louis
and pretend to be a Tiger Tiger
to meet a man
at the Kevin Kline Junior Pools
early November?
Yes.
But
But I see him the day before,
the sign language guy.
Nice face. Okay, great.
Just, the whole package
wasn't my kind of--
wasn't my kind of package.
(FLOYD GRUNTS, GROANS)
Older than like--
Not real together, so
And I know that sounds harsh,
but I didn't wanna go there
and disappoint everyone.
You know, make him feel worse.
Because the other guy said
that he had been feeling like
like sad for a while.
So, I just left.
You never went to that meeting?
At the pools?
No.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
KEVIN VAN DER LONSE:
I left the day before.
And Clark Forrest
never asked you
to show up and bring
a Bloody Mary with you,
or anything like that?
You know, give this guy a drink,
or anything like that?
No. Clark just wanted me to come
and be around his friend.
And if I got aroused,
hey, all right.
He said that would be great
for the other guy,
in terms of his feelings
and stuff.
If it so happened.
But, you know,
it wasn't gonna so happen,
so-- so I left.
Why did he go?
-To the pools?
-KEVIN: Yeah.
Because I called it off.
So why did he still go?
(SIGHS) Tiger Tiger, man,
I just don't know.
CLARK:
I'm sorry about the nix.
(PAINTBALL GUNS
POPPING IN DISTANCE)
FLOYD: This is a good idea.
Just get out and have some fun.
Yeah.
(DISTANT CLAMOR)
FLOYD: Tough week.
CLARK: Yeah.
I don't really wanna shoot you
with a paintball gun, though.
FLOYD: You know,
I don't-- I don't really
wanna shoot you either.
Maybe we just sit
in the forest and talk?
-CLARK: Cool. Yeah.
-FLOYD: Cool.
CAROL LOVE-SMERNITCH:
Yeah, you kind of
gotta use your weight
to guide it a little bit.
-That's good.
-RICHARD: Yeah, it's cool.
(LAUGHING) I don't know, is it?
Yeah. I mean, it's a cool bike.
If I ride it to school,
it's my first day at Washington,
they'll think I'm cool.
Oh.
You sure you think
it's a cool bike?
Because maybe it's not.
RICHARD: Yeah. Floyd rides it.
Mr. Forrest. It's really cool.
It's low. I mean
Yeah, I don't know
if that makes it cool.
How 'bout I just drive you
for your first day?
RICHARD: Nah,
I'm gonna take this bike.
Okay. Well, maybe just
give it a little thought.
(RECUMBENT BIKE WHIRRING)
RICHARD: Whoa.
CLARK: You know,
my job is stupid.
Your job is important,
and you should feel good
about yourself.
FLOYD: Your job is not stupid.
I hold the sun
in my hand on billboards.
It's embarrassing.
You can't hold the sun
in your hand.
Yeah, it would be hot.
-CLARK: Yeah.
-(CHUCKLES)
Your job
It's one of the things
I started liking about you,
you're so good at it, you know,
you connect to people.
You tell people
when it's gonna rain.
They need that
on a day-to-day basis.
I'm just a face.
You're a heart, so come on.
(IN ASL)
-(DISTANT CLAMOR)
-(PAINTBALL GUNS POPPING)
(RECUMBENT BIKE WHIRRING)
CAROL: Bye. Have fun at school.
(SIGHS)
Hey, ump money
You're coming with me ♪
Today's the fuckin' day
We get a new furniture set ♪
More grown up
And bedding and shit ♪
For Richard's room ♪
Fuck yeah ♪
I wanna matter
to someone, I guess.
You matter.
You matter to your girls.
-You matter to Eimy.
-Yeah. I do.
I'm going to sound like a jerk
saying this,
'cause who am I to say this?
But, um
You know, I've mattered to them
for 12 straight years, and
I don't know.
I wanna matter
to someone else also.
I guess.
That's middle age talking.
That thing
with Carol this summer,
I think
I wanted to matter
to someone again, so
(SOF
INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Shit cost a little more
Than I thought ♪
But I got
Some really good shit here ♪
(SIGHS)
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
FLOYD: She worked so hard
getting me ready for that test.
CLARK: You talking
about the financial thing?
Yeah, she was Yeah,
she even made flashcards
for the math that I didn't know.
And we worked on it together
for, like, over a year.
And then, finally, we get there,
and it's like,
"I don't wanna do this anymore.
I just want to sign."
-Signing's important.
-FLOYD: (SCOFFS) Yeah.
I could feel it.
It was like this tornado
just came down
and was like--
swept up all the sexy,
cool, fun stuff between us,
and it just
(IMITATES GUST)
took it up in the air,
took it away when I told her.
We-- We met during a tornado.
Yeah, that tornado
that's when you started
to tell me the story
about your penis,
and you never finished that.
Oh, yeah? My penis story?
Uh, where did I leave off?
There was that thing
with the car.
Yeah, you said that,
and then the motorcycle
almost hit your dick,
but it didn't.
Oh, yeah. No.
And then I came home,
and I told Carol
that we'd always have
to struggle.
Always.
Like, always.
Marry me, always struggle.
That's what I said. I mean,
might as well have been.
Yeah, and she cried.
Yeah, Richard saw that.
That was that day.
Yeah, except what happened
to your penis?
Oh. Um, we just went to bed,
and then, uh,
Richard came in
and hit me in the dick
with a baseball bat.
Poor kid.
I feel so bad for him. I mean
(INHALES DEEPLY)
I-- I-- I made his mom cry.
He was so young. He didn't know
what was going on,
and I made his mom cry.
And he just
I don't know. I mean, I just
I just love that kid so much.
And, uh
he needs his mom,
and I-- I hurt her.
And it's just my dick.
I mean, it's not like I
(SCOFFS)
needed that for anything
for like six years, seven years.
-That's middle age talking.
-Yeah.
Same boat, you and me.
S-- Summer's over, feels like.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Yeah. All I got to show for it
is a little color on my run.
You know, Floyd,
I don't know,
what-- what if you
What if you go
to the Kevin Kline pools
-in the morning
-(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
just like the plan?
-The Tiger Tiger plan?
-Yeah.
And-- And there would
There'd be
like a surprise there.
Be a reason.
You know, a good reason.
-Tomorrow morning?
-Mm-hmm.
I go and there's, like,
a surprise for me there
or something?
I don't know.
That sounds kind of exciting.
It sounds kind of fun.
I don't know. I guess
I don't know, I guess.
I don't know.
Bring your Playgirl spread.
Should I be ready for anything?
Should I bring
my curve cocktail?
You be ready for anything.
I gotta tell Carol
I'm going out of town.
I mean, I can't leave
at 3:30 in the morning.
Stay at the Quality Garden.
Use my account.
Cool.
("YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE"
BY ELIZABETH MITCHELL PLAYING) ♪
(RECUMBENT BIKE WHIRRING)
(SIGHS)
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine ♪
You make me happy
When skies are gray ♪
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you ♪
Please don't take ♪
-Wait, what? What?
-My sunshine away ♪
What? This is so cool.
What? Oh, my gosh.
What?
(IMITATES DINOSAUR ROAR)
-I did that one. (CHUCKLES)
-RICHARD: What? This is so cool.
-Oh, my gosh.
-Good one, Carol Love.
-Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
-(SONG CONCLUDES) ♪
RICHARD: So cool. Thank you.
Where is it you said
you were going again?
I don't remember you telling me.
Jeff City.
It's the governor's presser.
I'm signing it tomorrow morning.
It's about voting
or something important.
Well, be careful driving.
Okay.
-Bye, Carol Love.
-Bye, sweetie.
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Hey, you going
to sweep something up?
-(DOOR OPENS)
-Richard?
(DOOR CLOSES)
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-(GASPS)
-(CRYING)
-All right. Richard,
what is wrong?
No! Don't tell Floyd!
Don't tell Floyd!
I'm not going to.
I'm not going to.
-What is wrong?
-Don't tell him!
Don't! Don't tell him!
-Don't tell him!
-I won't.
It's okay. It's okay, honey.
DOCTOR:
He's doing better. He's calmed.
He's calm now.
CAROL: I'm worried.
Is he gonna hurt himself?
DOCTOR: Well, let's keep him
here for a little bit,
a few hours. We'll see
how the diazepam worked.
He's had events like this?
CAROL: Yeah.
DOCTOR: Okay.
Was there a trigger tonight?
CAROL: We had a good day.
DOCTOR:
Nothing provoked this? Tonight?
CAROL: We had a really good day,
and the night was just normal.
DOCTOR: Okay.
Well, we'll check on him
in a little bit then.
CAROL: Okay.
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMEN
OVER PA)
(PENSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(FLOYD GRUNTS, PANTS)
-(RAIN PATTERING)
-Are you tired?
We'll get home
and get right to bed, okay?
(BUS ENGINE RUMBLING SOFTLY)
-CAROL: Get some sleep, okay?
-(RICHARD SNIFFLES)
CAROL: We don't have
to figure anything out.
We can figure it out
tomorrow, okay?
Good night. I love you.
RICHARD: Okay.
Hey. I love you.
RICHARD: Yeah, I-- I heard you.
-(INSECTS CHIRPING)
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
DEPUTY: Stephen Queece?
HOMER: So,
how you spelling that, Queece?
-Spelling what?
-HOMER: "Queece."
Q-U-E-E-C-E. Queece.
HOMER: Queece, you do
a few things in Twyla, hmm?
Primarily, I'm a student.
But you're also
president
of the Umpires Association
-of St. Louis County?
-Yes.
HOMER: How old are you?
I'm 15 years of age.
Stephen, did you place this item
in the mailbox
of the Smernitch home?
It's an award.
Umpire of the Year.
It's a certificate of that.
Yeah, there's no stamp.
Did you put this award
in the Smernitch mailbox
on November 8th?
I don't remember the date.
Well, we retrieved it.
Uh, we collected it
and impounded it
on the morning
of November 9th, so
Then it was that morning.
-The 9th?
-STEPHEN QUEECE: Yeah.
'Cause I put it in
the mailbox in the morning
on my paper route.
-You're a paper boy?
-Paper person.
Hmm.
And I placed it in the mailbox
of the Smernitch home
on that morning
on my paper person route.
How early would that have been?
-Pretty early.
-Like, specifically?
Specifically,
that would have been
between about 4:30 a.m.
and 5:00-ish a.m.
And why didn't you mail it?
It's Umpire of the Year.
STEPHEN: I walk past
the Smernitch home
on my paper person route,
and I thought Carol
would be really happy
to receive the award.
For Umpire of the Year.
She's, um
Carol's umpiring,
that was a real uphill battle.
At the beginning
of umpiring baseball,
I don't think
Carol knew what, like,
-balls and strikes were.
-(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
STEPHEN: And Carol had good
and bad days.
CAROL: Where is field two?
STEPHEN: She-- She wasn't,
like, totally perfect.
But, mostly,
she was pretty great.
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-(UMPIRE GRUNTS)
STEPHEN:
She would stay sometimes
to learn about the game.
And when I award someone
the award
for Umpire of the Year,
it's on the basis
of how that umpire
takes care of the kids.
Ball four. Take your base.
STEPHEN: And Carol fudged a lot
for the kids who struggled.
-Strike three. Batter out.
-STEPHEN: And most of the time,
if you struck out
CAROL: Hey.
she'd send you out
with a pat on the back.
You'll get him next time.
Chin up, Ramirez.
STEPHEN: It's all part
of being Umpire of the Year.
And that's why this year
that award went
to Carol Smernitch.
And she was there.
She was in the chair there.
And I was like
Usually,
when I approach a home,
the lights are off.
No one's there.
-But-- But the lights were on.
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
When you approach a home
as a paper person, right?
-Yeah.
-HOMER: Okay.
I don't
approach homes otherwise.
And you placed this award
in her mailbox then,
the morning of November 9th?
If that's
when you found it, yes.
Between 4:30 a.m.
and 5:00 a.m.,
you saw her then?
That's my paper person window,
yes.
You saw Carol Smernitch there,
in the chair,
right there,
during that time frame?
Why is that so important?
Because
that's when her husband
That's when he was dying.
She was asleep.
Uh, okay, Queece. Thank you.
-That is all?
-HOMER: That is all.
Uh, you run
a nice baseball association, um,
umpire thing.
Just keep up the good work.
(BROODING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(DOOR OPENING)
(DOOR CLOSING)
Her sealed conviction.
Shoplifting toilet paper
when she was a child.
She just grew up poor.
-Never hurt anyone.
-HOMER: Hmm.
Tiger Tiger's gonna come
to court
and say Forrest didn't do it.
Queece will come in
and say she didn't either.
HOMER: What did we just do?
Did we just team up
to not solve a murder?
CLARA GILCHRIST:
What's your position
with the district attorney
going to be, Detective Homer?
Uh, that you can now put
a witness up
to corroborate
Mr. Forrest's account.
Tiger Tiger.
I'm gonna tell Bob Dalt
that I wouldn't make
this arrest today, that
(SIGHS)
I believe
Clark Forrest's account
of the events
of the past summer are
largely true.
CLARA: Clark.
They're going to drop your case.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
HOMER: That's why I'm here.
I'm obligated to inform
the defendant first.
Any new evidence going
into the record,
-you first.
-(SIGHS)
CLARA: And you're free.
Well, you're going
to be free, uh,
-next week, most likely.
-(CHUCKLES)
And, uh, then
there'll be a new case
when we can prove Not me.
Um, when somebody, someday,
can prove who that was
that rode all the way up there
on that bicycle
and was with Floyd Smernitch
when he was killed.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, that was me.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
CLARK: At the Kevin Kline pools.
Yeah, that was me.
(SLURPS)
CLARK:
I rode there on my bicycle.
I thought I could
give him something
he seemed to need.
-(GRUNTS)
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(GROANS)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
CLARK: Hey. Okay?
Okay. Hey.
(DOOR OPENS)
Hey.
Hey.
(CHUCKLES)
What's that?
FLOYD: Uh, it's, uh, Amphezyne.
I poured it in here.
I didn't wanna be presumptuous
and take it in front of someone.
You have to take it late.
Yeah. Did you just take some?
Take a safe amount?
Yeah. I took the other
boner medication earlier.
What are you doing here, man?
Uh, well, I'm just
I'm just gonna go for it,
in terms of, uh, just
just saying things to you,
you know,
um, uh, my friendship feelings.
Uh
Pretty complex.
Yeah.
I admire you.
Same.
You're full of love.
And, like,
comedy, you know, between us.
-There's a lot.
-A lot-lot.
Yeah.
And, um,
I feel safe.
You know, and it's
I don't know, with you.
You know, you Frenched that guy
so you don't hurt his feelings?
You know, come on. I mean
Is that the Playgirl?
Can I see that?
(PAGES RUSTLING)
CLARK: This is, uh
It's cool, you know?
Slender. Okay.
Uh, but hey, I
I don't feel safe with this guy.
I feel safe with this guy,
from the cyclone and right now.
(CHUCKLES)
So
meat on the bones is okay?
I've been trying for less meat.
Or try just loving yourself,
like I do.
Like you love yourself?
No.
Like I love you.
You know, with, uh
complex
Complex what?
Complex feelings. I don't know.
I just think you should
love yourself, man.
Do you love yourself, man?
Not lately. No.
-Why?
-Mm.
What don't you love
about yourself?
Like, my legs. (LAUGHS)
Yeah, you always wear sweatpants
to the gym.
I don't even really know
what your legs look like.
Yeah,
not my favorite part of, uh
Yeah, for me,
it would be my mid-area.
-Mm.
-(CHUCKLES)
Like
Like, my lats.
They kind of like dead end.
You know?
Like, I don't have, like,
a nice line like you,
like you do.
My lats?
Yeah, you--
you have a nice lat line.
It's like I notice it
when you wear that V-neck, uh,
gray pocket tee you wear
to the gym sometimes.
Like, come. Let me show you.
Like, you have a--
you have a nice line.
Like your--
your lat line goes right down
across your RC.
-RC?
-Yeah, your rib cage.
It goes--
goes all the way down,
like, almost past--
Yeah, like all the way down
past your RC.
That's like a feature
of, you know (EXHALES)
classical-- like beautiful
classical sculptures.
That was called a long body.
I don't have that.
Mine's like, um, stout.
Strong.
FLOYD:
You think it's in your head
that you
that you don't like your legs?
Yeah, they were pretty skinny
when I was a kid.
Yeah, I get it.
I mean, you-- your legs fill out
in middle age.
Like here, let me, uh--
Like, let me show you. Um
Like, in this picture.
Yeah, this one where
I'm dealing with the skeletons.
Like, you see how
my legs are tapered there
and they're, like, less stout?
Whereas, like, now,
like, they've grown.
And so (GRUNTS) it's like
a much bigger
-a much bigger base.
-Yeah.
-Yeah. Yeah, that's
-See?
-Stout.
-CLARK: Yeah.
-That's better.
-Like a bigger base.
I can see that.
That's better. That's a
Yeah. That's a better base.
Do you think it's, um
It's just you think
they're skinny
'cause of all those
painful years of you as a kid?
'Cause I think you've got a--
a nice base, man.
You think
You think that maybe
it's just in my head?
FLOYD: Yeah.
Oh. (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
Yeah, come on!
Yes. All in your head.
Thanks.
Thanks. You-- You know,
you did some
really nice sculpting,
uh, over the summer.
I-- I think
I think
I think Tiger Tiger's crazy.
Yeah, I think
I think Carol's crazy.
Crazy? How?
("I'M GONNA LOVE YOU
JUST A LITTLE MORE BABY"
BY BARRY WHITE PLAYING) ♪
(CHUCKLES)
It feels so good ♪
You lying here next to me ♪
Oh, what a groove ♪
You have no idea
How it feels ♪
FLOYD: We're having fun now.
(LAUGHS) Fun in the forest.
My hands
Just won't keep still ♪
I love you, baby ♪
(FLOYD CHUCKLES)
Oh, I love you, I love you
I love you ♪
I just wanna hold you ♪
Run my fingers
Through your hair ♪
CLARK: I, uh
I put that swing set next
to the fence
'cause there's
a woman over there
that, uh, makes me feel
a certain feeling.
And, uh, I look over there to,
you know,
see what I might be missing.
And, uh, um, there's a
there's a guy over there, too.
Come here
Closer, close ♪
I dunno. He's got this
certain vitality that I like.
I like I like to look at.
Oh, baby
Give it up ♪
And maybe I
maybe I want his easy life.
You know, he--
they don't have kids, and
But, um,
maybe I like
just looking at him.
I don't know.
It's been a really
confusing summer.
I'm so in love with you ♪
For me
There's no way out, 'cause ♪
Deeper and deeper ♪
In love with you I'm falling ♪
Sweeter and sweeter ♪
Your tender words
Of love keep calling ♪
Eager and eager, yeah ♪
To feel your lips
Upon my face ♪
Please her and please her ♪
Any time or any place ♪
I'm gonna love you
Love you, love you ♪
Just a little more, baby ♪
HOMER: So, what did you
want to give him, Clark,
that you thought he needed?
An arousal.
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) ♪
Oh, baby ♪
CLARK: You know, for you,
uh, you had that thing
happen with Carol.
And, uh,
what I want to tell you is,
what if I had
a different reaction to you?
Like
if you danced and I didn't,
and I just stood here
and I watched you,
and I and I had a reaction.
How would that make you feel?
Good.
Not complex, or
We can just start with good.
I haven't felt good in so long.
If you wanna sit there
and feel your feelings,
it'll make me happy, okay?
No biggie.
-No biggie?
-FLOYD: No, no biggie.
Your tender words of love
Keep calling ♪
I'm gonna love you
Love you, love you ♪
Just a little more, baby ♪
I'm gonna need you
Need you, need you ♪
Every day ♪
I'm gonna want you
Want you, want you ♪
In every way, yeah ♪
Oh, stop that babe ♪
'Cause I swear to God
You understand ♪
I can't
I can't believe that I'm ♪
-Floyd, can you stop the music?
-That I'm really here ♪
It's like
It's like sometimes, baby ♪
You are somethin'
You are somethin' ♪
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-Such a groove ♪
It's hard to believe
You're really there doin' it ♪
(SONG CUTS OFF) ♪
I don't know what I'm doing.
I think I'm
I think I'm just
I'm fucking lonely, man.
I think I'm just
just lonely as shit.
-I'm so sorry.
-Hey, no. It's okay.
It's okay, it's okay.
-I'm so sorry.
-Hey, hey, it's okay.
CLARK:
I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know
what I'm doing in here.
I don't know
what I'm doing in life.
I think I fucked everything up
this summer.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
It's okay.
And I don't-- I don't have
any of those feelings.
I'm so sorry.
I know. You're safe.
-You're with me.
-(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Yeah, that's about
when he said he left.
On his way from the pool house.
Makes his way east,
just like he said.
Nothing unusual, next.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
JODIE: Monitor D, again.
(MOUSE CLICKS)
-JODIE: Pause.
-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-JODIE: Pause B.
-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-JODIE: Go in.
-(MOUSE CLICKS REPEATEDLY)
JODIE: Same on D.
(MOUSE CLICKS REPEATEDLY)
(MUSIC BUILDS) ♪
Those are two different bikes.
(MOUSE CLICKING REPEATEDLY)
HOMER: That's the one
from the bike shop.
They're both within blocks
of the pool house.
Both bikes were out there
that morning.
(MOUSE CLICKS)
My son wanted to ride
that bicycle to school.
It's the boy.
There was trouble with him
that night.
He had a good day.
CAROL: Do you like the sheets?
Yeah, Pteranodon. I love them.
CAROL: Mm, I thought
you should have a few new things
for your room.
Thanks, Mom.
CAROL: Okay. Good night.
I love you.
I love you too.
HOMER: And then there was
violence out of nowhere.
There was, just from the boy.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
CONTINUES) ♪
Call up Floyd Smernitch's log
from his laptop,
from his last night, please.
There was a worksheet.
I-- I remember a worksheet.
It was open.
(MOUSE CLICKS)
(MOUSE PAD CLICKS)
HOMER: What time did Carol say
the kid had his episode?
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-(GASPS)
They arrived at the hospital
at 8:22.
HOMER: This worksheet was closed
at 7:53.
JODIE: What's the importance?
HOMER: He was looking at this.
He closed this.
(MOUSE CLICKS)
HOMER: He sees this.
(MUSIC FALLING) ♪
DTF St. Louis.
He saw it.
-(BIRDS CHIRPING)
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
HOMER: Why did you pick
this place to talk?
RICHARD: I don't know.
I don't know a lot of places.
I knew this place.
Uh, you're in no trouble.
None.
Uh, I want to start there, okay?
So, you rode a bicycle,
uh, one of Mr. Forrest's,
to the pools,
the pools they were
shutting down for the autumn,
very early in the morning.
-Why?
-RICHARD: To tell Floyd.
I told him he was a fat asshole.
He was cheating on my mom.
He was a liar.
He was a fat asshole
and no one loves him.
HOMER: Okay, okay.
It's-- It's okay.
It's okay.
And you saw him there?
Yeah.
Dancing with Mr. Forrest.
In his underwear.
With Mr. Forrest.
Okay.
It's okay.
Can we move over there?
We can move anywhere you want.
-Did you speak to Floyd
that night?
-(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
After Mr. Forrest left.
JODIE:
What did Mr. Smernitch say
when you said those things
to him at the window?
RICHARD: Floyd didn't, um
Floyd didn't say anything.
He just looked at me.
He didn't care.
How do you know he didn't care?
Because when I started to leave,
he knocked on the window
so I would turn back.
JODIE: Did you turn back?
-Yeah.
-And what did Floyd do?
He told me to rock on.
And just stood there
in his underwear,
staring at me, getting drunk.
-"Rock on"?
-RICHARD: Yeah, he, um
He went like this,
through the window.
HOMER: Well, how do you know
he was getting drunk?
Because he just drank
the whole thing that he had
while he was looking at me.
(POIGNANT MUSIC OVERLAPPING) ♪
JODIE: Okay.
Is this what he was drinking?
Uh, yeah. He, um
he drank the whole thing.
Right there in his underwear.
That's not what that means.
This doesn't mean "rock on."
Well, what does it mean?
It means "I love you."
(SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
RICHARD:
Wanna see something cool?
HOMER: Yeah.
If you just start
doing it every day,
then you could do it every day.
HOMER: Oh, that is cool.
JODIE: Yeah, that's cool.
CAROL: Yeah, it is.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
(DISTANT HORN HONKING)
I thought it was
a British TV network, BBC,
but you're saying
it's also
-Big Black Cock.
-Oh, yeah. Okay.
Well, you got your DTF,
your BBC.
SPH.
-What's that?
-Small Penis Humiliation.
How does that work?
That works where
men like to be taunted
about their small dicks.
-They like that?
-They love it.
-(SIGHS)
-(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Yeah.
That's what's going on
behind all these closed doors.
Cucking, cosplay, nut kicking.
-Nut kicking?
-Right in the nuts, yeah.
Okay.
Who-- Who gets enjoyment
out of that?
-The kicker or the nut man?
-The nut man.
(CHUCKLING) I don't get it.
I don't get it. I
Boy, I fucked this up.
Man. Just I
I like boobs, okay?
I like boobs and I like butts.
I hope that's okay to say.
Yes, that's okay to say.
(LAUGHS)
Okay.
(SIGHS)
You like something else.
I do?
No, no, no.
-Just boobs and butts.
-JODIE: Yeah.
You have something else.
I know it. Everyone does.
Okay.
Yeah? Come on.
I like,
if the setting is right
I like bras a little bit.
The nice lace, nice lighting.
It can be fetching. A nice bra.
-A nice bra?
-Yeah.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, my God.
You're so normal you're weird.
Okay.
-(CHUCKLES)
-(HOMER GRUNTS)
(SIGHS)
Good job, Detective.
Thanks, Homer.
("THE FLESH FAILURES
(LET THE SUNSHINE IN)"
BY MELBA MOORE PLAYING) ♪
Nice bra. Oh, my God.
So So the nut man
really likes it?
The nut man really loves it.
Okay.
(JODIE LAUGHS)
We starve
Look at one another ♪
Short of breath ♪
Walking proudly
In our winter coats ♪
Of our lives
I fashion my future ♪
On films in space ♪
Of moving paper fantasy ♪
Listening for
The new-told lies ♪
With supreme visions
Of lonely tunes ♪
Silence tells me secretly ♪
Everything ♪
Everything ♪
Let the sunshine ♪
Let the sunshine in ♪
(DOOR LOCK CLICKING)
The sunshine in ♪
Why don't you let? ♪
Let the sunshine ♪
Let the sunshine in ♪
The sunshine in ♪
You ought to let ♪
Let the sunshine ♪
Let the sunshine in ♪
The sunshine in ♪
Let, let, let it in ♪
Let the sunshine ♪
Let the sunshine in ♪
(SONG CONCLUDES) ♪
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(FLOYD BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GROANS)
(FLOYD MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)
(BELT CLINKING)
(GROANS, PANTS)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GASPS, WHEEZES)
(SOBS)
(EXHALES)
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪