Government Cheese (2025) s01e07 Episode Script

1
[Hampton] Family photo.
Okay.
[shutter clicks]
- [shutter clicks]
- Oh, my God.
- [shutter clicks]
- [laughs] Wait.
[shutter clicks]
[speaks indistinctly]
[laughs]
All right. All right.
Einstein, do not hurt yourself!
[engine revs]
Bye, honey.
[Einstein grunts]
[sighs]
All right, Astoria.
This weekend, we make a portfolio that is
gonna knock Mr. Briess's socks off.
You're better than Caroline Purdy.
- Oh, boy.
- [chuckles] Good morning, sweetheart.
Please don't tell me you're making coffee.
Well, of course I am.
That's what I do every morning.
[sighs] I know. That's the problem.
Look, honey, I'll just have
one of the girls at the office
brew me a cup when I get in.
I just don't know what
I could possibly be doing wrong.
It's just coffee.
It's more than just coffee.
If my wife can't make a decent cup of joe,
the boys at work will never respect me.
[scoffs] What am I doing wrong?
[narrator] Don't let bad coffee
tear your family apart.
Kellman's Coffee is guaranteed
to not only brighten your life,
it will make you admire your wife.
- I sure do like the sound of that.
- [chuckles]
Looks like I've got some shopping to do.
[narrator] Put a smile on
your husband's face today
and buy Kellman's Coffee.
Coffee. Yeah.
That's all you need.
[person] Coffee is a metaphor.
What?
The coffee is a metaphor
for taking care of your husband.
That's the role of the wife.
Hmm. I don't want to be that kind of wife.
And that's why you're unhappy.
How do you know I'm unhappy?
Well, for one,
you're talking to a commercial.
And two, you're getting high on reefer,
which I'm pretty sure is illegal
and not very ladylike.
[laughs]
Here, taste this coffee.
No.
Here.
No.
Please?
- [sighs] Fine.
- [chuckles]
- It is good.
- [chuckles, sighs]
I make good coffee.
My husband has a better day.
All is right in the world. And I'm happy.
Don't you wanna be defined
by more than just making coffee
to make your husband happy?
I'm only alive for 30 seconds
every few hours.
I don't have time to do anything else.
Well, I never have time to myself.
I need to clear my head.
[playing "Sylvia, Pizzicato", by Delibes]
[Einstein] Ma.
Do we have any baking soda?
Um, in the cabinet.
What do you need it for?
The alkalinity of the pool.
- [chuckles]
- [Einstein] Mini's coming over later.
I noticed Mini spent the night again.
Don't get her pregnant.
You've got a lot of opportunities with
all those offers and acceptance letters.
I understand, Mom.
[Astoria] I'm serious.
Don't get stuck.
I know.
[water splashing]
Don't worry, Mom. I'll never get stuck.
[sighs]
[hammering]
[hammering continues]
[sighs]
See? That is a happy wife.
- That's happy to you?
- She's making her house beautiful,
so when her husband comes home,
he feels like a king.
[hammering continues]
She looks frazzled to me.
And a little crazy.
Oh, you're one of those?
One of what?
Those women who judge
other women unfairly.
Being judgmental gives you wrinkles.
What is wrong with you? Who made you?
I was made by a wonderful man
named Herbert Gibson.
He runs the ad agency. A true genius.
- [knocking]
- [sighs]
- Yeah?
- Mrs. Chambers, Todd Edelbrock.
I'm your husband's parole officer.
Such a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
[grunts] Nice to meet you.
Hampton is on a fishing trip
with our youngest, Harrison.
Nothing more wholesome.
He did let me know
that he'd be out of town.
He's been an exemplary parolee.
Mmm. Is that a child?
Oh.
Let's go.
Yeah, but don't worry about Ruby.
My wife and I are separated.
It's my weekend with her.
I've come round to do
the standard household check.
Without Hampton?
A parolee technically doesn't have to be
on-site when I do the home visit.
In fact, I'd like to speak with you alone.
Just about our plan for successfully
reintroducing Hampton into society.
Shall we get started?
Okay.
[sighs]
[sniffs]
Wow.
This wallpaper is colorful.
I'm not good with compliments.
[chuckles] That's what my wife said.
No. Colorful is what I was going for.
[Todd sighs]
I have to pee.
[sighs]
How did you get out of the car?
That's a stupid question, Dad.
I opened the door and walked out.
It smells like Mom's bathroom in here.
The bathroom is just
down the hall on the right, sweetheart.
Do you mind if I see the bedrooms?
[Astoria sighs]
I have been meaning to
make some space for Hampton.
Just haven't found the time.
Find the time.
Offenders are more likely to re-offend
if they don't feel supported.
- You're all he has.
- ["Sylvia, Pizzicato" playing]
Ruby?
- [sighs]
- Ruby?
[music continues]
Hey. Hey. Hey.
We ask before we touch.
- [chuckles]
- [sighs]
You play beautifully, Ruby.
[sighs]
[chuckles]
[screaming, grunting on TV]
[husband sighs] Now that's what coffee's
supposed to smell like.
Oh. [chuckles]
- And it tastes even better.
- [sighs]
You made this all on your own?
Well, I had a little help
from Kellman's Coffee.
[chuckles] Well,
it's better than any I've ever had.
Oh.
Say, why don't you go
buy yourself a nice dress?
And be ready at 7:00 p.m. sharp.
I'd like to take my beautiful wife
out on the town.
Oh, you.
See what happens
when you can't make coffee?
It all falls apart.
You don't want it to fall apart,
do you, Astoria?
[Todd] Just one more thing.
Let's see.
And forgive me if this is a bit personal.
During the separation,
I really threw myself into work
and my predicament has illuminated
how a special marriage can be
It can be such a blessing.
A solid base can improve
an ex-con's ability to rejoin society.
Immensely.
My wife, she didn't wanna work on this.
On us.
I did. I did.
- It takes two to tango.
- [refrigerator door opens]
- For example
- [bottles clinking]
if you could think of little ways to
show Hampton how much you appreciate him.
Does raising his children not count?
[Ruby] Kids don't count.
Don't eat that. That is not soup.
[Todd] Ruby. Ruby!
Put it back. Come on.
- [refrigerator door opens, closes]
- [sighs]
Sorry. [chuckles]
Uh, doesn't have to be anything grand.
Maybe just his favorite meal.
A good cup of coffee.
[Todd] Yes. The little things count too.
You need to show him that you need him.
That it's important for him to be at home.
Yes.
Unlike my ex-wife, you get it. [chuckles]
All right. [sighs] Well.
All right. Well, I am marking this house
as checked and cleared.
Rubes, I think our work here is done.
- [Astoria sighs]
- Your toilet's broken.
- Thank you, Ruby.
- Thank you, Mrs. Chambers.
[sighs]
[sighs]
Astoria, hello.
Martha, hi.
We have termites.
Someone was supposed to be here by noon
and no one has shown up.
They're in the entire house.
I can hear them in the walls.
It's making me insane.
I can't spend
another minute in that place.
I brought you a housewarming gift.
Tupperware.
I've lived here for seven years.
Can I come in?
[chuckles]
You know, I have had an idea of what
the inside of this house has looked like.
And now that I'm in here, it's just so
cozy.
Nice.
It's like a real family lives here.
Thanks, Martha.
Can I get you something?
Coffee? I've got Kellman's.
Oh, no. You use Kellman's?
I do.
- Is she here?
- Who?
The Kellman's lady.
You see her too?
Well, yeah, she's everywhere.
TV. Billboards.
I can't believe my husband left me.
How could Herbert write that?
You don't argue with her.
You just smile
and have her make some coffee.
[whispers] You can make some coffee.
[mumbling]
[Martha] What's with the ladder?
[Astoria] My son, Einstein,
was cleaning the rain gutters.
Ooh, are you a designer?
No.
- I am just a receptionist
- [sighs]
but pretending that I will be an actual
artist some day gets me through.
You're not the only one
[inhales sharply] pretending.
To be what the world wants us to be.
[inhales deeply]
I guess. [laughs]
- Martha, are you all right?
- Mm-hmm. Yes.
[laughs] Yes.
[sighs] Yes.
Yeah, no, I'm good. I'm good.
I'm just ha having one of those days.
I'm gonna need to lie down.
[breathes heavily]
[sighs] Ten fingers. Ten toes.
Ten fingers. Ten toes.
Ten fingers. [sighs]
Ten toes.
[inhales sharply] Okay.
Tori, come sit.
- Tori?
- Mm-hmm.
It's a nickname I call you all the time.
Come, come, come. Come on.
I don't wanna sit.
- Come on. Come on. Okay. There we go.
- I don't [chuckles, grunts]
Mmm. I'm sorry.
For what?
[sighs] When your husband was
[inhales sharply] detained.
Oh, nope.
- We don't need to do [clears throat]
- Mm-hmm. Yep.
[chuckles] We do.
I treated you unfairly.
I pretended everything was fine.
- And it wasn't.
- Mmm.
[sighs] And I wasn't the only one.
Take my book club for example.
My ex-book club, they kicked me out.
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
I guess they didn't appreciate
my Truman Capote suggestions.
Oh [clears throat] what I'm trying
to say is everyone knew your situation.
Everyone talked about it.
And none of us reached out.
We judged you,
knowing full well that our homes
don't fit the lies that we tell ourselves.
Huh.
Yeah. I'll show you.
Come on. We just need a new perspective.
[sighs] No fucking way.
[Martha] Yes fucking way, Tori.
No one calls me Tori.
Everyone calls you Tori.
[sighs]
This is peaceful.
Yeah.
There's nothing between you and the sky.
Hmm?
Come on. Sit.
[sighs]
You are not the only one who's struggling.
[chuckles]
That's Margaret's house.
Margaret's hair is falling out.
She doesn't want her husband to know,
so she wears wigs.
She thinks it's because
her son is irredeemably evil.
That's why she thinks
her hair is falling out?
She's bringing in a priest
two times a week to speak with him.
Over there, that's Corrine's house.
Her husband is underwater.
He has two families.
Guess he couldn't pick just one.
She had to get a job selling Tupperware
to pay for her extended family.
Over there, Shirley's house.
Her daughter, Christina,
ran away with some degenerate.
He took off.
Left her in Washington state,
took all her money.
Now she's pregnant.
[baby crying]
Shirley says
she's still in love with the guy.
[sighs]
She's 16. She might grow out of that love.
Yeah. We all grow out of it, don't we?
We grow out of our dreams,
learn to live in reality.
Are you still in love with Hampton?
Or are you in love with that other man
you've been seeing who is very cute?
Martha, have you been spying on me too?
I spy on everyone.
You can tell me.
[Astoria sighs]
Ronald is
- sweet, and gentle, and easy.
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
- And he doesn't need anything from me.
Hampton was, is all consuming.
When he went away I was devastated,
but then I realized this could be
time to myself
- Mmm.
- time to just breathe
and be my own person without Hampton.
And I found a drive,
and a determination, and ambition
that I didn't even know I had.
There is a job as a design associate
opening up at work and I want it.
But I'm worried that if I go for it,
everything here will fall apart.
And I'm also scared,
what if I'm not good enough?
What if I put
everything I have on the page
and it's not enough?
Bob proposed right out of high school.
I had big dreams of being a chorus girl.
A Rockette.
I have the legs for it. [chuckles]
I was gonna move to New York
and be a dancer.
And so I said, "No."
And Bob said that
I would regret that decision
and that he was not gonna be an option
whenever that happened.
And then the night before I left,
I got scared.
And so I accepted his proposal.
And we bought a house.
And now I have a perfect life
with a husband who believes
the best thing I can do is marry him.
But I always wanted more.
Tori, this isn't enough either.
[car approaching]
[gasps] Bob's home.
I gotta go. [chuckles]
Hey, I'm really happy
that we got to know each other.
- Martha?
- Hmm?
I think you would've been
a really good dancer.
Me too.
[laughs]
Oh, you should get this house
checked for termites.
I can hear them.
Hi, boys. She needed a cup of sugar.
[sighs, chuckles]
[sighs]
[frog croaking]
[sighs]
[gasps, breathes heavily]
[laughing]
[cries]
Yes! Seventeen feet!
No.
No.