Happy Days (1974) s01e07 Episode Script

1
One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock rock
Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock rock
Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock rock
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
Put your glad rags on, join me, hon
We'll have some fun when the clock strikes one
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the clock strikes two, three, and four
If the band slows down, we'll yell for more
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the chimes ring five, six, and seven
We'll be right in seventh heaven
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the clock strikes twelve we'll cool off then
Start a-rockin' 'round the clock again
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight ♪
This day is ours Oh, please be mine
Oh, happy days
These happy days are yours and mine
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
Ralph, I'm open!
Ralph, come on!
I can score, I can score!
Go for the lay-up.
Foul! You hacked!
Fonzie, did I hack him?
No hack. No hack, no hack.
Hey, Rich, I got back my history test.
We playing or not?
Get somebody else.
How did you do? I don't know. I probably flunked.
I'm afraid to look. Would you look?
Ha. Let me see!
B-plus!
B-plus!
Ha ha ha!
I knew I had it cinched. Sure.
Back to the salt mines.
Great, I got biology. We gotta cut up frogs.
Right after lunch? Yuck!
I never thought of that.
I got French.
Ooh-la-la! So do I!
Hey, Fonzie.
Don't you have to go back to work?
I'm takin' the day off.
Oh.
You got big plans?
Nah, I thought I'd drop down to Arnold's.
There's a phone number on the wall I've been meaning to try.
Sounds interesting.
You goin' back to class?
No, I got a free period.
Wanna come down to Arnold's with me?
Oh, no, thanks.
I'm not much on blind, uh numbers.
This test no sweat.
I'd get an "A".
You know all the answers?
I said I'd get an "A", didn't I?
Fonzie, didn't you ever regret dropping out?
Nah, too many rules.
I guess it doesn't really matter.
I mean, you're doing pretty well as a mechanic.
You're kind of the, uh,
the Mickey Mantle of the grease pit.
I'm the best.
I bet it's a lot of fun living in the adult world.
Almost everybody's married.
They all go home right after work,
all except ol' Roscoe, the lube man.
He's your friend.
He's 70 years old!
Oh. I guess that's too adult.
We go out for a couple of beers after work.
Oh, that's nice.
All he talks about is his lumbago.
You make school sound fun.
Oh, school's got good points.
I mean, uh, smokin' in the bathroom, cuttin' classes,
showin' my tattoo to the chicks.
Do you ever think about goin' back?
There's a whole new crop of girls
who haven't seen your tattoo.
You'd be a celebrity.
My tattoo ain't that great. No, no, no, listen
You would be the only high school drop-in.
Well, how does a person go about, you know, droppin' in?
All you have to do is go down to Principal Faraday's office
and explain it to him.
That's all.
Yeah?
Sure!
Come on. Huh?
You're comin' with me.
So, Arthur, you want to come back to school.
May I ask why?
Sure.
Well, why do you want to come back to school?
Tell him.
Well, sir, it's, uh, it's this way.
Do you want me to tell him about the tattoo?
Well, sir, it's this way.
Fonzie felt that there was a, uh,
a cultural void in his life.
Hey, that's good.
And he realizes that there's more
to life than just being a mechanic,
and he wants to finish his education
so he can pursue a more satisfying profession.
Hey, that's good, too.
Tell Arthur he can start back in the morning.
Cool.
Oh, Arthur, just a minute.
I wonder if you could take a look at my car.
I'm still having that clutch trouble.
Not again. How many times I gotta tell you this?
Drive with your foot off the clutch.
It's not really my No, I'm telling you,
I'm not gonna touch your car till you promise
to drive with your foot off the clutch.
All right.
No, I wanna hear a promise.
I promise not to drive with my foot on the clutch.
All right.
Bring it around to the shop,
and I'll, uh, see you tomorrow.
Ohh! Your father forgot his lunch.
What did you make? Deviled ham.
He didn't forget it. He left it on purpose.
He says that stuff is "ucky."
Well, I never knew that!
He didn't tell you
because he didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Richard, did you know that your father hated deviled ham?
Sure.
Well! The wife is always the last to know.
Wonder what else he doesn't like.
Maybe I should change perfume.
I gotta hurry, Mom.
This is Fonzie's first day back to school.
Well, that's very nice, dear,
but I'm sure even Fonzie is taking time for breakfast.
Well I'll bum a jelly roll off Potsie.
Well, that'll be good for a few cavities.
I want to get to school early, too.
Jeanie Scarsdale's gonna tell us where babies come from.
She's got a book with pictures and everything.
You sit right down. I will drive you to school.
We'll have a little talk on the way.
OK, but it won't be the same without pictures.
All right, class.
Settle down, settle down.
Girls settle down, please.
Now, put your books under your desks
and take out a piece of paper for a pop quiz.
Hey, we're gonna have a quiz about our fathers!
Yes, can I help you, sir?
No, I'm no "sir." I'm a new kid.
Oh, a new student. Yeah.
Hey, look who's here. It's Fonzie!
What's he doin' here?
He's probably dating Miss Pratt.
No, no, he's dropping back in. Aw, you're kiddin' me!
Class, we have a new student.
This is Arthur Fonzarelli.
Yay! All right!
You seem to be very popular.
Oh, yeah, but by the way, I like to be called "Fonzie."
You may take a seat, uh, Fonzie. Thanks.
Hey, I think I would be very comfortable
sittin' right about here.
Right. And I think you'd be more comfortable over there
with that young lady over here,
and that pretty lady over there, you move over there.
This lady wants to sit next to
me. I'm real sorry about that.
Only take a minute.
Mr. Fonzie, you have disrupted the class.
Oh, hey, I was just rearrangin',
just to get the right atmosphere.
They were arranged Alphabetically.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know.
You want me to put 'em back again?
Uh, no. Never mind.
Uh, please sit down.
Now, before we begin the quiz,
I would like to emphasize one important contribution
of President Truman.
Yeah, he encouraged everybody to take piano lessons.
He added a few new words to the dictionary.
Hey, hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
The teacher is talkin' here!
Thank you, Fonzie.
Hey, Cunningham.
Hey, Fonzie.
Hey, Cunningham, you're so bright.
You're a bright guy
for someone who don't ride a motorcycle. Oh, well, thanks.
You want me to do good, don't you? Oh, yeah, of course.
Well, I'll tell you somethin'
I'm havin' a really tough time
gettin' back into the swing of things.
I just might need some assistance on all that homework.
Well, sure. What kind of help do you need?
Well, actually, I want you to do it for me.
Hey, Fonzie. Hey.
Hey, Trudy, listen I got business.
Go find me a four-leaf clover, will ya? OK!
Hey, you got my English homework for me? Oh, sure.
Uh, and the biology. Oh, great.
Listen, Fonzie Yeah.
Uh I've been doing your homework for a week now,
and the truth is, I haven't had much time to do my own.
Hey, you should have said somethin'.
You don't have to do it anymore. Oh, thanks!
But I'm gonna miss your biology.
I mean, the way you draw those little germs
Man, you gotta be the Rembrandt of bugs! Thanks.
Listen, uh, there's this history exam tomorrow.
Oh, you want me to tutor you?
What does that mean, Cunningham?
Tutor. Uh, tutor means help you study for the exam.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's what I need.
You come to the garage, and you can tutor
while I fix Cutter Margolin's headers.
Listen, I got a better idea
Why don't you come over for
dinner, and we can study afterwards?
Sure. I'll come right after work.
Great. Listen, answer for me in English, will ya?
I got an appointment. Oh, OK.
Hey!
Um, I couldn't find any.
Trudy, come here.
You free tonight? I'm always free for you.
Good. You can do my homework!
Richard, when is your guest getting here?
The mashed potatoes are getting stiff.
Fonzie will be here just as soon as he
finishes working on Cutter Margolin's headers.
Oh, well, just as long as it's something important.
Fonzie's a hood. Joanie!
No, he's not. He's just, uh worldly.
Oh, that's probably him. I'll get it.
Fonzie's a hood! Dear, I don't
like to hear you talk like that!
He drives a motorcycle, and motorcycle drivers are hoods.
Joanie, you just can't make a broad statement like that.
You saw The Wild Ones. Fonzie's just like Marlon Brando.
Fonzie, you remember my parents. Hey.
Fonzie. And that's my little sister, Joanie.
Hey. Listen, I'm sorry I couldn't get into better threads,
but, uh, Cutter's rod took longer than I expected.
Oh, that's perfectly all right.
Well why don't we sit down? Hey, great.
You sit here.
All right. Hey
He took my chair! Well, it's all right. He's a guest.
Hey, Dad, you never sat next to me before!
You're very observant, Joanie.
Dear, I told you not to wear your ears at the table.
Uh, what do you plan to do when you get out of school?
Oh, I was thinkin' I might become a cop.
That's very admirable.
I mean, it's the only job I know where they pay ya
to drive a motorcycle.
Would you pass the salt and pepper please, Marion?
Oh, hey, these are great mashed
potatoes, Mrs. Cunningham. Well, thank you.
I mean, good and stiff, just like they make at the diner.
Yeah.
Do you have a zip gun in you pocket?
No, just a crescent wrench.
What's the matter, you never saw a crescent wrench before?
Well, not at the din Not one as nice as that one.
Oh, yes, my own personal crescent wrench! Ah.
We saw The Wild One. Crummy flick.
Oh, I should say so. I mean, if I were Lee Marvin,
I would've cracked Brando's skull with that trophy.
Oh, my goodness.
I really like your folks, Cunningham.
Yeah, well, uh, they like you, too. OK. Let's get started.
Well, I think that we're gonna do a
little different than what you had in mind.
Huh? Yeah, I'm gonna do the tutoring.
But you don't know much about American history.
No, but I know a lot about cheating.
Listen, uh, I can't cheat.
Hey, I'm not gonna ask a good buddy to cheat.
I just need your help to get me
over some of those rough spots.
Now, I'll show ya what we're gonna do
But, Fonzie Cough.
What? Cough. You know, like when you got a cough.
Uh, you'll practice.
All right, now, it's a
true-and-false test. I'll cough first.
Then you give me two coughs for true, one for false.
You got it? Fonzie, it's wrong.
No, that's the way it's always done.
Two coughs for true, one for false.
No, I mean, it's not right. You got a better way?
We could study.
Let's try it one more time. Gimme a true.
Better.
Miss Pratt's gonna think I got TB.
Hey you're right.
Good. We'll study. I got it!
You cough for the first ten
questions, you whistle for the rest.
I can't whistle.
Cunningham, your heart just ain't in this.
Look I'm your buddy, right?
And buddies should help buddies, right?
Now, you kinda got me into this.
You said I could make it and that you'd help.
Well, I'm not makin' it so good,
and, uh, I need you to help me out.
Where you been? Fonzie, I gotta tell you somethin'
Mr. Cunningham, you're not only one minute late,
but you're compounding your tardiness by speaking in class.
Please put a tick-a-lock on your mouth. Yes, ma'am.
Now, if the first desk would pass the papers back.
Fonzie says you're gonna help him cheat.
I changed my mind. He's gonna kill ya!
Either Fonzie wants you or he has a whooping cough.
I must have caught a germ in biology.
Turn around, huh?
Fonzie, I'm sorry, but I can't cheat,
not even for a friend.
Yeah, well, I figured that, Cunningham,
but I am prepared.
And, uh, just where do you think
you're going? To hang up my sweater.
Absolutely nobody is allowed
to leave his seat during a quiz.
Uh, Miss Pratt, um could I open a window?
Yes, Fonzie. We can never have enough fresh air.
Hey, that's what I always say. Yeah.
Bird. Beat it, bird.
You're on my notes. Bird!
Oh, bird! Look what you did to my notes.
Even the birds are against him.
Boy, I'd hate to be you after school. Me too.
I might as well get it over with.
Listen you're my best friend.
If you want me to come along with you, I will.
Oh, I would really appreciate that, Potsie.
Some best friend! You want me to get my jaw broken, too?
Then who'd nurse you back to health?
You're right. Don't come with me. Now you're talkin' sense.
But I'd go with you if you wanted me to. Thanks.
Remember I'm with you in spirit.
Yeah, yeah, I like you with your pompoms. I'll call.
Hey.
Cunningham. Come here.
What are you gonna do with that? I
don't know. Maybe buy a new lock.
I broke my key off in it. I need
it to lock up my bike at night.
You're not mad about today? Nah.
See, guys like you Pat Boone,
Dick Clark you're too square to cheat.
Besides, I didn't, either. You didn't cheat?
Nah. That girl in front of me
She had the wrong crib sheet on her neck.
And that dumb bird messed up my notes at the window.
That's too bad. I passed anyway.
Fonzie, that's terrific! Yeah. I got a 66.
I made it by one point. Then I went down to
the principal's office and I dropped out.
But there's no reason to drop out now. It's no use.
Listen, you've proved that you can pass. You can pass!
No, I mean there's no use in tryin' to save this lock.
Here's a present. Come here.
You don't tell this to nobody.
What I'm tryin' to say is
thanks for tryin'.
But I thought you wanted to be a cop.
Yeah, but I'm the Mickey Mantle of the grease pits, right?
You said it yourself. Yeah. You're the best.
I figure that, uh, hot rods and, uh, draggin'
are gonna be around a long time, you know?
Like the duck tail and Buddy Holly.
I guess so. I still kind of wish
you were staying in school, though.
Hey, if I'm gonna drop out, now's the best time.
They don't think I dropped out 'cause I'm dumb.
They think I dropped out 'cause I'm cool. Dig?
Well, I gotta get back to the garage.
You can, uh, skip on back to class, huh?
See ya.
Hey, bookworm, have a good day.
Hey, don't forget your white shirt for assembly.
Hmm.
How was the Junior Chipmunk meeting?
It was good today. Janie Drysdale threw up.
Oh, may we talk about it later?
What kind of a day did you have at school today, Richard?
He helped Fonzie cheat. Richard!
Is that true, Richard?
Because helping someone else cheat is like, uh
I know, Dad. It's just like cheating yourself.
No, I didn't help Fonzie on the test.
How come he didn't break your face?
Fonzie wasn't mad at all. We're still good friends.
Oh, I can't tell you how good that makes me feel.
Oh, Howard, I'm going to have to use the car
tomorrow to finish those errands for the PTA.
Well, how am I gonna get to work?
Just ask her about sex, and she'll drive you anywhere.
What's that supposed to mean?
It means our little girl is growing up, dear.
Saturday, what a day
Rockin' all week with you
This day is ours These happy days
These happy days are yours and mine
Happy days ♪
Hello, sunshine goodbye, rain
She's wearin' my school ring on her chain
She's my steady, I'm her man
I'm gonna love her all I can
This day is ours
Won't you be mine? These happy days
This day is ours
Oh, please be mine, oh, happy days
Happy days ♪