Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed (2026) s01e07 Episode Script

1
[phone plays ditzy pop song, buzzing]
[Paula breathing heavily]
[phone stops playing]
[phone buzzes, playing song]
[tense music plays]
[phone stops]
[phone buzzes, playing song]
[chimes, buzzes]
[phone buzzes, playing song]
[children chattering]
- [Gwynn] Oh, thank you.
- Sure. Okay. All right.
Outfit change?
[children laughing, chattering]
[panting]
- [knocks on door]
- [Gwynn] Paula?
- [knocking continues]
- Hey, Paula. We're leaving.
I'll see you at the fundraiser tomorrow,
right?
And-And I borrowed a ziplock.
Great. Enjoy.
[ominous music playing]
[phone ringing]
[groans]
[Geri] Hello.
Prepare to be thrilled and delighted
because we pulled off
the coup of the century.
- We got the killer's number.
- I was gonna say that.
[Geri] Yeah, but we-we found
that woman's phone
and it didn't even have a password on it.
So we got the killer's number
and now we can track him down.
He's dead. He's dead.
- [inhales sharply] I killed him.
- What?
I, uh… [chuckles] …he tried to attack me
and-and-and-and he tried to kill me,
and so I-I…
[stammers] Uh, I shot him in the face.
- [whimpers]
- [Rudy] You have a gun?
[whimpering] Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck. [whimpers]
Okay, uh, what did the police say?
[panting]
[Geri] Paula?
Okay, uh, Paula, listen to me.
Um, uh, what did the police say?
Paula?
I didn't… I didn't call the police.
I ran away.
Oh, my God,
I took his phone and I ran away.
- [Geri] You what?
- Yeah.
[knocks on door]
Mom.
Coming.
Where's Shmooey?
I can't go to Prem's house without her.
Oh, no. Okay.
Uh, I'll… I'll find her. Um…
[Rudy] Pau… Paula, listen to me.
You need to put the phone back
and call the police.
Yeah, I can't. [clears throat]
Paula, you're in shock.
You're-You're not thinking straight.
So, Rudy is right, which I never say,
and you need to go back now.
Bye. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
See you. Bye. Okay.
[Geri] It was self-defense, okay?
So just go put the phone back
and call 911…
- They're waiting for me.
- …and the police will figure it out.
Yeah. Okay, okay. I will.
Just let me think.
No thinking necessary.
We're on our way. Say you'll do it.
Mom, they're waiting on me.
[Geri] Tell me you'll take the phone back
and call the police.
- Paula, say you'll do it.
- Okay, I will.
[exhales deeply] Okay, Hazenator,
come here.
Okay.
- Mom, I gotta go…
- Okay.
…before Prem's dad starts honking.
Okay.
[Hazel panting]
[exhales deeply]
[tense music playing]
[keypad beeping]
[line ringing]
[operator] 911, what's your emergency?
[tense music builds]
Hello? 911, what's your emergency?
[upbeat music playing]
[muffled dialogue]
[Geri speaks indistinctly]
Can you please talk to me?
[muffled, echoing] Paula?
Paula. Are you-you okay?
No, I mean, he was dead.
I… [stammers] …There was blood everywhere.
And then all of a sudden he's gone.
[Geri] Shit, his phone is locked.
How does a body just disappear?
[knocks on door]
Hey. [sighs]
Security camera's busted
at that store you went to,
so that's a dead end.
[sighs] I did get
incredibly expensive Takis though.
I feel like I'm going insane.
I feel like I'm actually going insane.
This is real.
This tells us that it really happened.
[Paula] Yeah.
You said you had his phone number, right?
The number on this phone.
Yeah.
[grunts]
[sniffles]
Okay, put it in. Put it in.
- [Rudy] Okay.
- Let's go.
- Again.
- Okay.
- Sorry.
- [Paula smacks lips, groans]
Okay, that's actually pretty smart.
[Paula] Oh, the code is this.
No fucking way.
Hmm. Okay.
- [Geri] John Smith?
- [Paula] Yeah.
That sounds super real
and not made up at all.
[Geri] John.
[Paula] All of these are going
to the same address.
That's, like, 30 minutes away.
We should go check it out.
[scoffs] Or maybe we don't visit
a murderer's house, right?
- Dead murderer.
- [Rudy] Disappeared dead murderer.
Exactly.
So there'll be zero murderers there.
If we can get inside, maybe we can
figure out something about who he was,
or-or something that shows us
that he killed Trevor, and not me.
Come on, you guys, I'm freaking out.
Can you please go with me tomorrow?
Please, guys.
- [Rudy sighs]
- Yeah. 100%.
[Paula] Okay. I have this
stupid fundraiser thing, but right after.
[stammers] One hundred per…
Okay, maybe, like, can we just focus
on the phone first, right?
Like there's gotta be more stuff on there
if we can just get past the lock screen.
We'll do both.
I might know someone.
- Hey, Drew.
- Hey.
Should I be hydrating too?
Just got back from DC
on an Air Force transport
- and my back is, like, pretzel-ed.
- Mmm.
[inhales deeply] But I could be cajoled.
Uh, no, I'm not here for that.
Um, I need this cracked.
That's super illegal, madame.
[Geri] Uh-huh.
I know you have someone
who does this shit for you.
[sighs]
I'm working on something
and it's a big story
that I think Suzie would be into.
This phone could blow
the whole thing open.
It's a burner. Not gonna have much.
I don't need much. I just need in.
Wow, a fact-checker coming after my job.
I thought it was just gonna be
me versus the machines.
Are you gonna help me or not?
- How good is the story?
- It's fucking great.
First off, you gotta make sure
the battery is out always.
If it's got juice in it,
it can be tracked.
- And I'm guessing you don't want that.
- No.
Okay, I'll get this to my guy.
I have been incredibly helpful.
- And kinda manly.
- Mmm.
Sure you don't wanna… [clicks tongue]
No. Thanks, Drew. [chuckles]
What? Why? Is…
You're… [stammers] …seeing someone else?
What? No, I just, um,
wanna keep things professional.
Okay, well, then pay me.
[door opens, closes]
[whimsical, eerie music playing]
[inhales sharply]
So, he just flaked?
[Scott] I-I don't know what to say.
Frank's always been
my most reliable investigator,
but I can't get a hold of him.
Want me to hire a new PI?
Um, I don't know. We'll talk it over.
Okay, thank you.
Jesus Christ,
do you really think we need one?
You don't?
No, I don't.
You freaked out yesterday
when you heard she has a new boyfriend.
Y-Yeah… [sighs]
- Is there something I should know?
- No, there's nothing you need to know.
I just don't think we need
to ruin her life in order to win.
But we do have to win.
- Agreed.
- And to win, you have to be ruthless.
Merciless.
Okay, I can't do that.
- This is the mother of my child, Mal.
- I know. I know.
You know? There's a line for me,
and this is the line.
I get it, and I love you for it.
And it's why I have to be merciless
for the both of us.
["Feels Like A Different Thing" playing]
Let's go, mama owls!
[cheering]
[instructor] Raise those arms
to raise that money!
Let it out!
["Feels Like A Different Thing" continues]
[groans]
[music distorts]
[distorted panting]
- [yells]
- [yells]
[panting]
[laughs]
["Feels Like A Different Thing"
continues, distorted]
- Help!
- Wait, shit.
Paula, Paula, Paula.
- You're bleeding.
- What? Oh!
[chuckles] Oh, my God.
I had a, uh… a dermaplane, uh,
accident this morning.
Yeah. It's okay.
Um, are you, uh…
Have you written that referral letter?
I'm sorry, what?
You know, the-the-the custody letter.
I really need to, um…
to-to get them to my lawyer.
- Yeah, I'll send it right over.
- Yeah.
- Oh, good. Okay.
- Um, are you good though?
Yeah. Me? I'm great.
I'm so great.
This is so fun.
Oh, my God, what a great event.
You go, girl. [chuckles]
[Gonzales] I don't know.
- [Baxter] You don't know?
- [Gonzales] Mm-mmm.
What more do you need?
Her prints are on the nail gun
that nailed the victim to the floor,
not to mention the nail
in his leg and the walls.
She was… [imitates gun]
…spraying nails like Rambo.
He wasn't killed by a nail.
Are you secretly in love with her?
I don't understand.
He was killed with expanding insulation.
Her prints aren't even on the can.
Why would she wipe the can
and not the nail gun?
I don't know. Murderers do stupid shit
like commit murder.
Ah. The numbers add up,
but the sum is wrong.
Stop talking like Yoda.
She's not even strong enough to do this.
She's not even strong enough
to choke Trevor out.
She's not barbell strong,
but she could be Pilates strong.
She's just a little piece of chicken.
Her prints are everywhere.
She has motive.
Lieutenant wants us to close the case.
Overcome your bullshit intuition,
and let's fucking go.
[ominous music playing]
- Hi.
- That was quick.
Well, you said you needed it.
Check your email.
I sent you a file with the data.
- There wasn't much there.
- What, you looked through my shit?
Grow up.
Don't worry,
your big groundbreaking story is safe.
- 'Cause I'm a professional.
- Okay.
[finger snaps]
[upbeat music plays]
- Hey.
- [music stops]
What's up?
- Well, you're up to something sneaky.
- No.
Oh, shit, Geri got laid.
No, I didn't.
I was up… I was up late and…
Why? Are you jealous?
No, I'm not jealous.
You just have that, like,
anxious look all over you
and you did your hair, like, in that.
It's a ponytail.
You've those bags under your eyes
that say you've been,
- uh, playing the world's oldest sport.
- Okay, stop.
Why? Was it someone really embarrassing?
- Was it the IT guy?
- No. No. You think I fucked Max?
Ew. He has a Band-Aid on every finger.
Is there something that you
actually wanna talk about?
Yes, actually.
Come here.
Okay, I'm starting to think Paula
might be semi to fully delusional.
Rudy, believe women.
Yeah, I'm trying to,
but it is hard to buy.
I mean, we don't have any proof
that she was scammed.
We didn't see her get attacked
at the motel.
We definitely didn't see the…
[whispers] …the dead body that was…
[shushes]
Dead bodies rarely disappear
in the real world.
But it's Paula. We know her.
- Do we?
- [Geri] Mmm.
All I know is that she is a woman
who sits at a desk near us
and likes plantain chips.
What if she's making all of this up?
You know she's not a murderer.
Do I?
Okay, look, I'm with you.
Things are starting to get crazy, but…
Well, we have to help her.
Who else does she have?
[ominous music playing]
[toilet flushes]
Hi.
I sent you a note
about prioritizing Drew's follow-up.
Think I can get it by this afternoon?
That's pretty fast.
Mmm. It's pretty important.
Yeah, I mean, I'll do my best.
I have, uh, a personal thing at lunch.
That's an interesting attitude
for someone who's been asking
for a promotion.
[sighs]
Is it even real?
[Suzie] What?
The promotion.
Because I'm in a custody battle
and this would be very helpful to me,
but I'm starting to feel
like it's just a carrot
that you're dangling in front of me
like I'm a donkey.
[sighs]
Try to remember
you are talking to your boss.
[Paula sighs]
You know what the difference is
between a fact and the truth?
Do tell, Paula.
So a fact is a piece of information
with objective reality,
like you just washed your hands, right?
That's a fact, right?
But why?
Maybe you just had buffalo wings,
maybe you had blood on them.
The reputation of this place
relies on my job,
making sure that we ascertain
the truth behind the facts.
So why do you want me
on this pretty important article?
- Because it's your job.
- That's a fact.
But the truth is, you could have asked
Rudy or Geri because it's also their job.
But you know that I won't make a mistake
and that I always deliver.
I deserve this promotion.
The fact is, then, truly,
we don't have the money right now.
[sighs]
Then just give me the title.
You can pay me later,
but I have earned that title.
Okay.
Thank you.
[intriguing music playing]
[Rudy] That's the home of a killer?
It's so… Nothing.
- I was expecting, like…
- [Paula] What?
You were expecting like a Scream mask on…
drying on a clothesline.
Sign that says "I heart Jeffrey Dahmer."
[Rudy] This feels like a bad idea.
[stammers] No one's gonna be there.
- [car doors open]
- [sighs]
- [stammers] Okay, maybe…
- [doorbell rings]
…maybe we don't ring
the murder doorbell, right?
Jesus, Rudy.
It's just in case someone's there.
What, like his wife?
And-And she's a killer too.
You know, maybe they met
on a dating app like Raya,
but for psychopaths.
I don't know… [sighs]
- Die-ya or something.
- Oh, shit, someone's coming.
- [footsteps approaching]
- Oh, my God. I'm freezing.
I'm freezing when I should be flighting.
[tense music playing]
Can I help you?
[chuckles] H-Hi.
Hi, uh, we're looking for John.
John Smith?
Is this about the packages?
Yes. Yes, it is.
All those boxes showing up.
John Smith, John Smith.
- I'm up to my neck in John Smith.
- [chuckles] John doesn't live here?
Not unless he's an old woman
with bad knees.
[stammers] You friends of his?
Something like that.
Does-Does-Does-Does he ever come
to pick up his packages?
I wish.
It would save me all the trips
returning those big boxes to the UPS.
Let me get your information.
- If I get another John Smith…
- It's okay. Sorry for bothering you.
It's okay. Let's go.
- That was a dead end.
- She's full of shit.
- What?
- What? She…
[stammers] He just kept sending her boxes
and then she would just return them?
- Come on.
- [scoffs] Maybe she's just nice.
Maybe she's lying, Rudy.
I don't buy it.
She's picking up all those heavy boxes
with her bad knees?
You think she's lying about her bad knees?
She's, like, a hundred.
Whose side are you on?
You're driving me nuts.
All right. [grunts]
Well, she's obviously full of shit.
But she's our only lead.
Maybe you two should follow her.
- No.
- [Paula] What?
No? [scoffs, stammers]
No? What do you… What do you wanna do?
I don't know.
Maybe you can interrogate my grandma.
She has a metal hip.
If you wanna help,
maybe you should try helping
because all you're doing
is complaining and whining
and it's really fucking annoying.
You still have the phone, right?
Right, the phone? Did your guys open it?
No, they said they can't unlock it.
What?
Oh, f… [sighs]
- [phone chimes]
- I'm getting an Uber.
What?
- Rudy.
- What? No.
Hey, no, no, no.
Come on, I'll drive us home.
No. You know, no thanks, I'm done.
I have the LSATs and I don't want
to get mixed up in this shit.
Besides, all I do is complain so…
Rudy, stay. We're all friends.
No, me and you are friends, okay?
We barely know her.
What is that supposed to mean?
It means that I don't know
if I believe you anymore.
Okay, and either way,
it is not my problem.
God.
What a big baby.
[horn honks]
[automated voice] Record after the tone.
[message tone]
Hello, this is Edith Randell
at 206 Sierra.
She came by asking about the packages.
Had two dipshits with her.
I'm sending the video of them right away.
[whistling]
[phone buzzes]
[tense music plays]
[line ringing]
Jen, Jen, Jennifer.
So that job I mentioned,
we will need your services.
Meet me at the matcha place at 4:00.
I'll fill you in.
All right. Ciao.
[grunting]
[panting]
[gasps]
Holy fuck.
[chuckles] All right, Trevor.
[breathing heavily]
- Look at that. Isn't she pretty?
- [Trevor] Let's try her out.
[audio fast-forwarding]
…this one before. What do you think?
You touch yourself a little more,
you know, like you mean it.
[Trevor] I'm into it. Come on.
You act like I'm throwing
my money away here.
[Trevor] Rob.
[audio fast-forwarding]
[Trevor] Rob, you know I like you.
Are you even looking in the camera?
[breathes heavily] Touch yourself.
- [Trevor] You're so hot.
- Touch yourself.
No, like a little self-conscious.
- [Trevor] Stop. You look amazing.
- It's just not…
Oh, yeah.
[Trevor] Come on, touch yourself for me.
- [moans]
- [Trevor] You're gonna come for me?
- Yes. Yes. [moaning]
- [Trevor] I'm watching.
I got this one which is
a little ornate and gold.
[Trevor] That's gonna look good on you.
[audio fast-forwarding]
I don't wanna cry. [whimpers]
I'm sorry. I just wanna like…
We're just gonna…
you know, go for it and, uh…
[audio fast-forwarding]
Too much. What is he, a fucking vampire?
- [Trevor laughs]
- [Sky] More blood means more money.
[Trevor] All right, all right, all right,
no, stop it. Okay.
Okay, I'll just do it after you hit me.
Besides, we don't need to do all this.
Like, Paula's gonna fall for it.
[Sky] Looking good.
Just give me a couple of weeks
and she'll be ready.
Plus I don't wanna scare her too much
because she's… she's all right.
[Ash] Aw, he likes this one.
- [imitates Ash] He likes this one.
- I gotta get a photo of you.
- You look insane.
- Hey, no photos, man.
- Like, fuck, what did I tell you?
- [Sky sighs]
If Dennis finds out that we're doing
all this, he's gonna fucking freak out.
Like this definitely conflicts
with what him and I do together.
- Okay, so just be cool, man.
- [Sky] Hey.
- [Trevor chuckles]
- Who's cooler than me?
I got us.
[children screaming]
[Steve] Good job, Hazel.
Paula. Paula.
Paula.
Paula.
Paula.
You're on the field.
[Paula] Sorry.
That's okay. Two minutes left.
I think we're gonna win this thing.
[chuckles]
I have so much money on this game.
- We have to win.
- [Paula] Okay.
Whose dad is that?
- I don't know.
- I've never seen him before.
[Steve] One minute left!
Let's go, blue! [cheers]
Prem, stop doing handstands. Focus.
Three, two, one.
- [whistle blows]
- [referee] Owls win.
- Yes!
- [cheering]
What?
We won.
Yes!
Yes! Yeah!
[groans]
Frankie, Frankie, Frankie.
[grunts] Let me see it.
[cheering] Let's go!
[soccer team whooping]
And did you see
when I nutmegged that girl?
- Yes.
- She was so mad.
She was like… [growls]
Ah, I thought she was gonna bite you.
[chuckles, groaning]
You did so good.
- That was good, right?
- [Hazel] Thank you.
Yeah.
You did so good that you get to
pick the music, unless, of course…
High School Musical 2.
- Yes!
- No! Say goodbye to your mom.
- Okay. Bye, Mommy. Love you.
- Bye. Love you too.
- Hi.
- Ooh.
- Ooh. [cheers] First win.
- [cheers] Oh, yeah.
[chuckles] Yeah.
So, uh, legally speaking,
that means we have to go on a date
- and, uh…
- Oh.
Well, the law is the law.
[Steve chuckles]
- Yeah, okay. That… Yeah.
- Yeah?
Okay, well, let me just check my calendar.
[Paula chuckles]
- Yeah, it says I'm free, uh, tonight.
- Oh, good.
- Tonight?
- Yeah.
Tonight is today, but after sunset.
- Ooh, a college woman. I'm impressed.
- Yeah.
Yeah, no, tonight, uh, sounds great.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, that sounds nice.
Awesome.
Uh, and I'm buying.
I bet on Frankie scoring
and I won $6 million.
So what am I gonna do with all this money?
Spend it on me, please.
[both laugh]
I'll pick you up tonight.
- 7:00. Your place.
- Yeah. Can't wait.
[Steve] Bye.
[typing]
[sighs]
What else? What else?
[line ringing]
[sniffles]
Hi.
[Geri] Hey, Paula, uh,
I was thinking about next moves
and how we can figure this thing out.
And I was gonna ask you…
[stammers]
I actually have a thing right now.
Um, it's a date
- and I'm just trying to focus on that.
- Oh.
See you tomorrow in the morning, okay?
Bye. [inhales sharply]
Hello?
[exhales deeply] Okay, okay.
[groans] Okay.
[breathes deeply]
Okay.
["Good 2 Yourself" playing]
[music continues]
[knocks on door]
[chuckles] Fuck.
[gulps]
Wow, you are always early.
I made guac…
Paula Sanders, you're under arrest.
- What?
- Step out. Hands behind your back.
- I… I… I…
- Hands behind your back.
[Paula stammers] I d… I… It was… It was…
You're under arrest for the murders
of Jeffrey Thorwald and Samuel Frazier.
I don't know who that is.
I don't know those names.
I don't know who that is.
Trevor and Sky.
Let's go.
Radio down and tell them we got one under.
No further units needed.
["Femme Fatale" playing]
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.
You have the right to an attorney,
if you can't afford an attorney,
one will be appointed to you.
[music continues]
[siren blares]
[music continues]