My Three Sons (1960) s01e07 Episode Script
Lady Engineer
1
(theme song plays)
'Morning, Steve. 'Morning, Jim.
Sorry to keep you waiting, but this is Visitors Day,
and I've been showing
some of the visiting firemen over the plant.
Oh, that's all right.
I, I've just been trying to figure out
how we can wind this thing up by the end of the week
so I can get started on that moon project.
I think I have the answer to that.
I brought in another consulting
engineer to give you a hand.
Oh, good.
Ever hear of J.M. Johnson?
No, I, uh, I don't think I have.
One of our top astronomers.
Made some outstanding contributions
to the field of astrophysics.
Brilliant mathematician. Brilliant.
Should pick up the Nobel Prize one of these days.
Wonderful.
He should be able to help a little.
Steve, there's something else
I ought to tell you about Johnson.
You mean there's more?
Excuse me, Mr. Guthrie.
They're waiting for you in Conference Room B.
Oh, thanks, Lucille.
And Mr. Douglas, Dr. Johnson will meet you
in the Design Room.
Oh, he's here, huh? Fine.
Come on down, Steve, and I'll introduce you.
Oh, don't bother, Jim, if you've got an appointment.
I'll introduce myself.
Okay.
Good luck.
Oh! Oh!
Sorry. I'm very sorry.
Were you going to Mr. Guthrie's office?
No, I was taking a tour of the fun house.
I'll be back.
If you get lost in the maze, send up a smoke signal.
Thanks.
LUCILLE: Quite a surprise, isn't she?
Yes.
I'll have to drop in more often on Visitors Day.
I'd better get to work.
LUCILLE: Oh, Mr. Douglas,
excuse me, the Design Room is that way.
Yes, I know, I was just taking the scenic route.
I, uh Hi, Steve.
Hiya, Pete.
How are things?
Just fine.
Oh, I'm sure he's there by now, Dr. Johnson.
Oh, fine. Thanks, Lucille.
I'll go hunt him up.
And how are things with you?
No complaints, Pete.
(visitors murmuring)
(no audio)
Well
Well, the last place you look for something
is invariably where you'll find it.
I'm afraid this doesn't fit me.
Oh, thank you.
I'm Steve Douglas.
Oh, well, how do you do?
We don't usually have such attractive visitors.
Well, thank you, but I
Are you interested in this sort of thing?
Well, yes, a little. I
Must be pretty baffling to an outsider.
As a matter of fact, it's pretty baffling to an insider.
Well, uh, why don't you tell me about it?
Or is it a secret?
Oh, no, no. It's non-classified.
Well, these happen to be instruments
which we hope to put into a satellite
and send into space, beyond the atmosphere.
It'll be sort of a flying observatory.
You know, so we can get a better look at the stars
and things up there.
And this little fellow here is a telescope.
By sending this telescope far enough into space,
we can overcome the usual atmospheric distortion
and get a much clearer picture
of the stars and things.
Do you follow me?
Oh, well, I'm trying to.
And this gadget here is a small television camera
which will also go along on the trip
and send back pictures of
what this little fellow here sees.
Aha.
Now, of course, this isn't all
as simple as it sounds.
I mean, we have the problem of solar flares,
the sun melting the film
But I presume you've allowed for sufficient thickness
to protect the satellite.
Oh, yes, of course we have.
And what is the weight
of the total payload you intend to use?
About, uh, 2,000 pounds.
How do you plan to orient and control the telescope
so that it'll attract the star?
We, uh
You seem to know quite a bit about this, Miss
Johnson.
Johnson.
J.M. Johnson?
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Johnson?
Call me Johnson. Everybody does.
Call me foolish. Everybody does.
I'm sorry, Mr. Douglas.
It was an opportunity I couldn't resist.
I know.
Well, shall we go to work?
Yes, I, I guess we'd better.
Of course, this is the first time
I've ever worked with an engineer
who wears lipstick. Who wears lipstick.
Yeah. You've heard that before.
I don't really know where to start.
Well, why don't you begin by briefing me a little more
on this "little fellow" here in terms I can understand.
All right, Johnson.
Now..
Steve, that was a good first day's work.
Looks like we'll be able to start you
on that moon project right on schedule.
You know, Jim, I'm a little sorry
we have to rush this assignment.
Today's work was really quite pleasant.
You like working with Johnson, huh?
Yeah, it's all right.
I will say it's a little difficult
to try to compute in star magnitude
with those baby blue eyes looking
at me across the drafting table.
Well, don't let those baby blue eyes fool you.
Behind them is one of the sharpest minds in this business.
I don't doubt that.
But she's still a woman, Jim, and a darn good-looking one.
Steve, if you've got any plans for Johnson
other than business, forget them.
She's strictly a career woman.
You know what we say in this business?
"Even the impossible is possible."
Well, that's true. But, uh, personally,
I think you'd be better off reaching for the moon.
We know that's possible.
(chuckling): Okay, Jim, see you tomorrow.
Heigh-ho. Good night, Steve. Good night.
Guthrie is satisfied?
Oh, very satisfied. No complaints at all.
You know, I was thinking
We're going to have to work nights to meet this deadline.
You know, that's what I was thinking, so, uh
After all, we have a great deal to accomplish
in a very short time.
Yeah, that's right.
Look, it's 6:00,
and as long as we have to work
I'm starved. How about you?
Yes. I was just going to suggest
Oh, good. Shall we take this along
and discuss it over dinner?
That's a good idea.
Do you, uh, like Italian food?
Well, yes. I know just the place.
It's called The Brothers Parucci.
Wonderful food. Small, quiet.
A nice place to work.
Fine. I'll, uh, meet you there in an hour.
Meet me there?
Well, I'd really like to stop by the hotel
and freshen up a little.
Oh, well, I'd like to change, too,
so why don't I drop you by your hotel,
and then I'll pick you up and then
Oh, no, thanks. I'll take a cab.
What's the address?
Well, it's Fifth and Main, but
Shall we say 7:00?
My, uh, my car is right out in the parking lot.
You did say this was business?
Oh, of course.
Well, then perhaps you'd better take your briefcase.
7:00.
(traffic sounds)
(easy listening music playing inside restaurant.
Hey, Mr. Douglas. Long time, no see.
Yes. How are you, Luigi?
Nice and hot.
Try not to touch it.
You're early.
Yes. I, I wanted to talk over the menu
before the lady gets here.
There you are.
$4.75 out of five.
There you are. Thank you.
Now, Luigi, we'll start with the antipasto.
And after the antipasto, we'll have that
What is that wonderful dish you make?
The, uh oh, the eggplant parmesan.
How about some nice tamales?
Tamales?
We'll put cheese on it,
and you'll never know the difference.
(record skipping) Hey, Gonzales, fix the record.
Gonzales? What's going on here?
Have you ever tried to find an Italian chef
in this part of the country?
You mean, your brother Guido isn't in the kitchen anymore?
What happened?
He eloped to Mexico with a Norwegian cook
from the chop suey parlor across the street,
and he sent Gonzales back to take his place.
You mean you're serving Mexican food
in an Italian restaurant?
You should see what they're
serving in the chop suey parlor.
Oh, well, uh all right,
I'll leave the dinner up to you and Gonzales.
I have a nice booth right over here.
How is this?
Nothing in the back?
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
This table usually seats four, though.
Thanks. Luigi, about the music
Could you play something soft?
Maybe something with a continental flavor?
Hey, Gonzales, see if you can find a love song!
That do it?
Oh, fine. Luigi, how about some
imported chianti with dinner?
Oh, I'll see if we've got any.
I forgot.
We're having Mexican food.
Just just skip it, huh?
Oh, uh
(soft romantic music plays)
♪♪
♪♪
When did you get here?
Oh, about a half an hour before the floor show started.
Must have looked a little silly
from the ground control station.
Oh, with the visibility below zero,
it was a little difficult to sight accurately.
I was just trying to see if we had enough light.
Oh.
Okay, you win.
(record skipping)
LUIGI: Gonzales, hey, fix the record!
(needle scratches, song plays normally)
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
(sighs)
Which concludes our suggestions for the proposal,
(sighs): The rest to be left open to contract demands.
(sighs): Is that all?
Unless you have something to add.
Steve. Hmm?
No, no.
I couldn't add two and two at this point.
Well, I'll type this up tomorrow
and have you both sign it before I give it to Mr. Guthrie.
Good.
Thanks, Lucille, for staying so late.
(chuckles): Oh, that's okay.
I can use the overtime.
Good night, Lucille.
You mean morning.
(laughs): Yeah.
Boy, 4:00.
4:02, to be exact. Hmm.
You must be bushed.
Oh, I feel fine.
You look fine.
Bushed but fine.
Oh, well, maybe I could do with a little sleep.
(yawns): You want coffee? No, no, no.
One more cup and I'll perk.
(quiet chuckle)
(sighs): I'm hungry.
How about you?
Starved.
Well, why don't we go and get something to eat, hmm?
Mm-hmm.
All right.
The only place I know that's
open this time of night is a drive-in.
That be okay?
Fine. As long as they have tamales Italiano.
I, uh, I'll meet you there, hmm?
(laughs): Nah, it'd be silly for
you to call a cab, wouldn't it?
'Cause I just happen to be driving there myself.
Well, in that case, maybe I'll just ride along with you.
Good idea.
I was just going to suggest that.
(laughs softly)
Well, now, if we can make it to the car, we're in business.
(sniffs)
Come on, let's try.
(laughs)
Oh, man
(sighs)
Of course, I can't promise you.
Freddy's Drive-In will be as romantic as Luigi's.
I'll bet the records don't stick.
I've got your coat.
Well, you taught me one thing at Luigi's:
never to put pleasure before business.
What time does your plane leave for Washington tomorrow?
10:00. Well, that, uh, doesn't leave us much time, does it?
I know.
What is this, uh, assignment
you're in such a hurry to get to?
More stargazing.
What's yours?
Well, Guthrie wants me to start
on his moon project, but, uh
the last few days, I've started a project of my own.
Oh?
But I can't go much farther with it if you leave town.
Well, what is it?
It's called Operation Johnson.
I think it has a lot of possibilities.
Couldn't you postpone the Washington trip?
(laughs): I mean we really haven't had a chance to
Well, I'd-I'd like you to meet my family.
Come out to the house and have dinner and
(laughs): Visit the Douglas Den of Disaster.
Bub's a wonderful cook, and I know the boys would
You know Guthrie said something to me the other day.
He told me it'd be easier to reach the moon
than it would be to reach J.M. Johnson.
The moon is 240,000 miles away.
Tell me something, Johnson.
Hmm?
What's your first name?
Joan.
Well, I'll tell you, I'll call you, uh,
Johnson in the office and Joan in the moonlight.
How will that be?
(starts engine)
Why didn't you wake me up, Bub?
I should have been dressed and out of here by now.
For crying out loud, Steve, I
was just trying to do you a favor.
The hours you've been keeping this week,
I thought you'd like to sleep in this morning.
It's my own fault I slept right through the alarm.
I know you were trying to help.
You're darn right, I was trying to help.
You know how hard it is to keep those wild Indians
out of the house on Saturday morning.
I'm sorry, there was just
something I had to do this morning.
Well, there's something I got to do, too. Hello.
There's a mess of laundry and
cleaning. This is Steven Douglas.
I suppose that's nothing. Just
trying to do you a favor, Yes.
And you get all huffy about it.
Could I speak to Dr. Johnson, please?
Well, yes, sir, just a moment.
It's for you, Doctor.
Steven Douglas.
Steven Douglas.
Steven Douglas.
Hi, Steve. How are you?
I just got in town I haven't had a chance to
Excuse me, but, uh, something seems to be wrong here.
Well, that's too bad, Steve.
Uh, what seems to be the trouble?
Well, the trouble is, I-I wanted to speak to Dr. Johnson.
Well, this is Dr. Johnson.
(chuckles): Well, then I must
have the wrong Dr. Johnson.
Oh, I see.
Uh then I don't know you, do I, Steve?
No, I don't believe you do, sir.
(chuckles): I was trying to figure out whether you were
the gall bladder or the appendectomy.
Here, I'll give you back to the clerk.
(door opens) Uh, thank you very much.
Mike! Who took my long extension cord?
Hello. This is Mr. Douglas again.
You gave me the wrong Dr. Johnson.
The one I want is a blonde.
(laughs): I mean, she's a lady.
Oh, that Dr. Johnson.
Yes, I'll tell you, now, would
you give her a message for me?
I'm supposed to take her to the airport this morning,
and I'm going to be just a little late, so
She checked out about an hour ago.
An hour ago?
Well, did she leave a message or anything?
No, sir. No, she didn't.
I see.
ROBBIE: Come on, give me my extension cord.
CHIP: It's not yours, it's mine!
ROBBIE: Yeah, well, who said
you could use it for a dog leash?
You want to hear some good news?
Yeah, I could use a little right now.
The washing machine is busted.
Well, that figures.
What am I gonna do about that
service porch full of dirty clothes?
I wonder why she didn't phone.
'Course, I could send for the repairman.
I guess it just wasn't in the cards.
Might cost about 30 bucks.
I'll take a look at it, Bub.
Boy, when I have kids, I'm gonna teach them
to respect other people's property.
Or maybe even $40 or $50. I said I'd take a look at it.
But when? If I don't get started
on that laundry right away,
you're not gonna have any clean clothes next week.
STEVE: Well, that takes care of Operation Johnson.
Who was I kidding, anyway?
(jet engine roaring)
And I know she's not doing her
eye exercises with Mother there.
Mama just spoils the daylights out of those kids.
And, of course, she never could
do Al's shirts the way he likes them.
And I just know none of them
are eating the way they should be.
So, that's why I had to cut my vacation short.
(laughs): I was spending a fortune
on long-distance calls, anyway.
I might as well be home.
I guess a family can be quite a problem sometimes.
Yes.
Well, of course, nothing like the problems you have.
But, then, you do have your freedom.
I've always been fascinated by astrology or astronomy.
Astronomy.
Well, you know what I mean stargazing.
The only trouble with keeping your eyes on the stars is
well, you stand a pretty good chance of missing
what's happening right here on earth.
Chip.
Yeah, Dad?
Thank you.
Boy, when I build my home,
I'm gonna have about a million outlets
in the garage.
Well, that's it, I guess.
What was wrong, Dad?
One cotter pin, two bent paper clips
and, uh, one skate key.
Gee, thanks, Dad! You're welcome.
Now, let's try it.
Oh, now, what's the matter?
I guess this just isn't my day.
And it hasn't even started.
Chip, did you give Dad this message?
What message?
The message from the doctor
that I wrote you when she called up.
Oh.
When did Dr. Johnson call?
When Mike and Bub went to the store.
And he told Robbie and me not to wake you up.
And Robbie was in the garage.
Oh, no wonder I'm always in trouble with Jean.
I probably don't get half the messages she sends.
STEVE: "Took an earlier flight.
"Have figured out why Operation Johnson
"won't get off the ground.
"Bad timing in the first-stage rocket.
"Will try to correct in Washington.
"Let you know results.
Request rain check on Den of Disaster."
(chuckles softly)
You aren't sore at me, are you, Dad?
No, Chip, no.
No, it's a very nice message.
You did fine.
(washing machine rumbling) Jeepers, Dad, it's running!
Yeah.
Well, you got it working, eh, Steve?
I thought that washing machine was
a goner for sure. Well, you know what they say
in my business, Bub Even the impossible is possible.
(washing machine rumbling)
(jet engine roaring)
(theme song plays)
'Morning, Steve. 'Morning, Jim.
Sorry to keep you waiting, but this is Visitors Day,
and I've been showing
some of the visiting firemen over the plant.
Oh, that's all right.
I, I've just been trying to figure out
how we can wind this thing up by the end of the week
so I can get started on that moon project.
I think I have the answer to that.
I brought in another consulting
engineer to give you a hand.
Oh, good.
Ever hear of J.M. Johnson?
No, I, uh, I don't think I have.
One of our top astronomers.
Made some outstanding contributions
to the field of astrophysics.
Brilliant mathematician. Brilliant.
Should pick up the Nobel Prize one of these days.
Wonderful.
He should be able to help a little.
Steve, there's something else
I ought to tell you about Johnson.
You mean there's more?
Excuse me, Mr. Guthrie.
They're waiting for you in Conference Room B.
Oh, thanks, Lucille.
And Mr. Douglas, Dr. Johnson will meet you
in the Design Room.
Oh, he's here, huh? Fine.
Come on down, Steve, and I'll introduce you.
Oh, don't bother, Jim, if you've got an appointment.
I'll introduce myself.
Okay.
Good luck.
Oh! Oh!
Sorry. I'm very sorry.
Were you going to Mr. Guthrie's office?
No, I was taking a tour of the fun house.
I'll be back.
If you get lost in the maze, send up a smoke signal.
Thanks.
LUCILLE: Quite a surprise, isn't she?
Yes.
I'll have to drop in more often on Visitors Day.
I'd better get to work.
LUCILLE: Oh, Mr. Douglas,
excuse me, the Design Room is that way.
Yes, I know, I was just taking the scenic route.
I, uh Hi, Steve.
Hiya, Pete.
How are things?
Just fine.
Oh, I'm sure he's there by now, Dr. Johnson.
Oh, fine. Thanks, Lucille.
I'll go hunt him up.
And how are things with you?
No complaints, Pete.
(visitors murmuring)
(no audio)
Well
Well, the last place you look for something
is invariably where you'll find it.
I'm afraid this doesn't fit me.
Oh, thank you.
I'm Steve Douglas.
Oh, well, how do you do?
We don't usually have such attractive visitors.
Well, thank you, but I
Are you interested in this sort of thing?
Well, yes, a little. I
Must be pretty baffling to an outsider.
As a matter of fact, it's pretty baffling to an insider.
Well, uh, why don't you tell me about it?
Or is it a secret?
Oh, no, no. It's non-classified.
Well, these happen to be instruments
which we hope to put into a satellite
and send into space, beyond the atmosphere.
It'll be sort of a flying observatory.
You know, so we can get a better look at the stars
and things up there.
And this little fellow here is a telescope.
By sending this telescope far enough into space,
we can overcome the usual atmospheric distortion
and get a much clearer picture
of the stars and things.
Do you follow me?
Oh, well, I'm trying to.
And this gadget here is a small television camera
which will also go along on the trip
and send back pictures of
what this little fellow here sees.
Aha.
Now, of course, this isn't all
as simple as it sounds.
I mean, we have the problem of solar flares,
the sun melting the film
But I presume you've allowed for sufficient thickness
to protect the satellite.
Oh, yes, of course we have.
And what is the weight
of the total payload you intend to use?
About, uh, 2,000 pounds.
How do you plan to orient and control the telescope
so that it'll attract the star?
We, uh
You seem to know quite a bit about this, Miss
Johnson.
Johnson.
J.M. Johnson?
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Johnson?
Call me Johnson. Everybody does.
Call me foolish. Everybody does.
I'm sorry, Mr. Douglas.
It was an opportunity I couldn't resist.
I know.
Well, shall we go to work?
Yes, I, I guess we'd better.
Of course, this is the first time
I've ever worked with an engineer
who wears lipstick. Who wears lipstick.
Yeah. You've heard that before.
I don't really know where to start.
Well, why don't you begin by briefing me a little more
on this "little fellow" here in terms I can understand.
All right, Johnson.
Now..
Steve, that was a good first day's work.
Looks like we'll be able to start you
on that moon project right on schedule.
You know, Jim, I'm a little sorry
we have to rush this assignment.
Today's work was really quite pleasant.
You like working with Johnson, huh?
Yeah, it's all right.
I will say it's a little difficult
to try to compute in star magnitude
with those baby blue eyes looking
at me across the drafting table.
Well, don't let those baby blue eyes fool you.
Behind them is one of the sharpest minds in this business.
I don't doubt that.
But she's still a woman, Jim, and a darn good-looking one.
Steve, if you've got any plans for Johnson
other than business, forget them.
She's strictly a career woman.
You know what we say in this business?
"Even the impossible is possible."
Well, that's true. But, uh, personally,
I think you'd be better off reaching for the moon.
We know that's possible.
(chuckling): Okay, Jim, see you tomorrow.
Heigh-ho. Good night, Steve. Good night.
Guthrie is satisfied?
Oh, very satisfied. No complaints at all.
You know, I was thinking
We're going to have to work nights to meet this deadline.
You know, that's what I was thinking, so, uh
After all, we have a great deal to accomplish
in a very short time.
Yeah, that's right.
Look, it's 6:00,
and as long as we have to work
I'm starved. How about you?
Yes. I was just going to suggest
Oh, good. Shall we take this along
and discuss it over dinner?
That's a good idea.
Do you, uh, like Italian food?
Well, yes. I know just the place.
It's called The Brothers Parucci.
Wonderful food. Small, quiet.
A nice place to work.
Fine. I'll, uh, meet you there in an hour.
Meet me there?
Well, I'd really like to stop by the hotel
and freshen up a little.
Oh, well, I'd like to change, too,
so why don't I drop you by your hotel,
and then I'll pick you up and then
Oh, no, thanks. I'll take a cab.
What's the address?
Well, it's Fifth and Main, but
Shall we say 7:00?
My, uh, my car is right out in the parking lot.
You did say this was business?
Oh, of course.
Well, then perhaps you'd better take your briefcase.
7:00.
(traffic sounds)
(easy listening music playing inside restaurant.
Hey, Mr. Douglas. Long time, no see.
Yes. How are you, Luigi?
Nice and hot.
Try not to touch it.
You're early.
Yes. I, I wanted to talk over the menu
before the lady gets here.
There you are.
$4.75 out of five.
There you are. Thank you.
Now, Luigi, we'll start with the antipasto.
And after the antipasto, we'll have that
What is that wonderful dish you make?
The, uh oh, the eggplant parmesan.
How about some nice tamales?
Tamales?
We'll put cheese on it,
and you'll never know the difference.
(record skipping) Hey, Gonzales, fix the record.
Gonzales? What's going on here?
Have you ever tried to find an Italian chef
in this part of the country?
You mean, your brother Guido isn't in the kitchen anymore?
What happened?
He eloped to Mexico with a Norwegian cook
from the chop suey parlor across the street,
and he sent Gonzales back to take his place.
You mean you're serving Mexican food
in an Italian restaurant?
You should see what they're
serving in the chop suey parlor.
Oh, well, uh all right,
I'll leave the dinner up to you and Gonzales.
I have a nice booth right over here.
How is this?
Nothing in the back?
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
This table usually seats four, though.
Thanks. Luigi, about the music
Could you play something soft?
Maybe something with a continental flavor?
Hey, Gonzales, see if you can find a love song!
That do it?
Oh, fine. Luigi, how about some
imported chianti with dinner?
Oh, I'll see if we've got any.
I forgot.
We're having Mexican food.
Just just skip it, huh?
Oh, uh
(soft romantic music plays)
♪♪
♪♪
When did you get here?
Oh, about a half an hour before the floor show started.
Must have looked a little silly
from the ground control station.
Oh, with the visibility below zero,
it was a little difficult to sight accurately.
I was just trying to see if we had enough light.
Oh.
Okay, you win.
(record skipping)
LUIGI: Gonzales, hey, fix the record!
(needle scratches, song plays normally)
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
(sighs)
Which concludes our suggestions for the proposal,
(sighs): The rest to be left open to contract demands.
(sighs): Is that all?
Unless you have something to add.
Steve. Hmm?
No, no.
I couldn't add two and two at this point.
Well, I'll type this up tomorrow
and have you both sign it before I give it to Mr. Guthrie.
Good.
Thanks, Lucille, for staying so late.
(chuckles): Oh, that's okay.
I can use the overtime.
Good night, Lucille.
You mean morning.
(laughs): Yeah.
Boy, 4:00.
4:02, to be exact. Hmm.
You must be bushed.
Oh, I feel fine.
You look fine.
Bushed but fine.
Oh, well, maybe I could do with a little sleep.
(yawns): You want coffee? No, no, no.
One more cup and I'll perk.
(quiet chuckle)
(sighs): I'm hungry.
How about you?
Starved.
Well, why don't we go and get something to eat, hmm?
Mm-hmm.
All right.
The only place I know that's
open this time of night is a drive-in.
That be okay?
Fine. As long as they have tamales Italiano.
I, uh, I'll meet you there, hmm?
(laughs): Nah, it'd be silly for
you to call a cab, wouldn't it?
'Cause I just happen to be driving there myself.
Well, in that case, maybe I'll just ride along with you.
Good idea.
I was just going to suggest that.
(laughs softly)
Well, now, if we can make it to the car, we're in business.
(sniffs)
Come on, let's try.
(laughs)
Oh, man
(sighs)
Of course, I can't promise you.
Freddy's Drive-In will be as romantic as Luigi's.
I'll bet the records don't stick.
I've got your coat.
Well, you taught me one thing at Luigi's:
never to put pleasure before business.
What time does your plane leave for Washington tomorrow?
10:00. Well, that, uh, doesn't leave us much time, does it?
I know.
What is this, uh, assignment
you're in such a hurry to get to?
More stargazing.
What's yours?
Well, Guthrie wants me to start
on his moon project, but, uh
the last few days, I've started a project of my own.
Oh?
But I can't go much farther with it if you leave town.
Well, what is it?
It's called Operation Johnson.
I think it has a lot of possibilities.
Couldn't you postpone the Washington trip?
(laughs): I mean we really haven't had a chance to
Well, I'd-I'd like you to meet my family.
Come out to the house and have dinner and
(laughs): Visit the Douglas Den of Disaster.
Bub's a wonderful cook, and I know the boys would
You know Guthrie said something to me the other day.
He told me it'd be easier to reach the moon
than it would be to reach J.M. Johnson.
The moon is 240,000 miles away.
Tell me something, Johnson.
Hmm?
What's your first name?
Joan.
Well, I'll tell you, I'll call you, uh,
Johnson in the office and Joan in the moonlight.
How will that be?
(starts engine)
Why didn't you wake me up, Bub?
I should have been dressed and out of here by now.
For crying out loud, Steve, I
was just trying to do you a favor.
The hours you've been keeping this week,
I thought you'd like to sleep in this morning.
It's my own fault I slept right through the alarm.
I know you were trying to help.
You're darn right, I was trying to help.
You know how hard it is to keep those wild Indians
out of the house on Saturday morning.
I'm sorry, there was just
something I had to do this morning.
Well, there's something I got to do, too. Hello.
There's a mess of laundry and
cleaning. This is Steven Douglas.
I suppose that's nothing. Just
trying to do you a favor, Yes.
And you get all huffy about it.
Could I speak to Dr. Johnson, please?
Well, yes, sir, just a moment.
It's for you, Doctor.
Steven Douglas.
Steven Douglas.
Steven Douglas.
Hi, Steve. How are you?
I just got in town I haven't had a chance to
Excuse me, but, uh, something seems to be wrong here.
Well, that's too bad, Steve.
Uh, what seems to be the trouble?
Well, the trouble is, I-I wanted to speak to Dr. Johnson.
Well, this is Dr. Johnson.
(chuckles): Well, then I must
have the wrong Dr. Johnson.
Oh, I see.
Uh then I don't know you, do I, Steve?
No, I don't believe you do, sir.
(chuckles): I was trying to figure out whether you were
the gall bladder or the appendectomy.
Here, I'll give you back to the clerk.
(door opens) Uh, thank you very much.
Mike! Who took my long extension cord?
Hello. This is Mr. Douglas again.
You gave me the wrong Dr. Johnson.
The one I want is a blonde.
(laughs): I mean, she's a lady.
Oh, that Dr. Johnson.
Yes, I'll tell you, now, would
you give her a message for me?
I'm supposed to take her to the airport this morning,
and I'm going to be just a little late, so
She checked out about an hour ago.
An hour ago?
Well, did she leave a message or anything?
No, sir. No, she didn't.
I see.
ROBBIE: Come on, give me my extension cord.
CHIP: It's not yours, it's mine!
ROBBIE: Yeah, well, who said
you could use it for a dog leash?
You want to hear some good news?
Yeah, I could use a little right now.
The washing machine is busted.
Well, that figures.
What am I gonna do about that
service porch full of dirty clothes?
I wonder why she didn't phone.
'Course, I could send for the repairman.
I guess it just wasn't in the cards.
Might cost about 30 bucks.
I'll take a look at it, Bub.
Boy, when I have kids, I'm gonna teach them
to respect other people's property.
Or maybe even $40 or $50. I said I'd take a look at it.
But when? If I don't get started
on that laundry right away,
you're not gonna have any clean clothes next week.
STEVE: Well, that takes care of Operation Johnson.
Who was I kidding, anyway?
(jet engine roaring)
And I know she's not doing her
eye exercises with Mother there.
Mama just spoils the daylights out of those kids.
And, of course, she never could
do Al's shirts the way he likes them.
And I just know none of them
are eating the way they should be.
So, that's why I had to cut my vacation short.
(laughs): I was spending a fortune
on long-distance calls, anyway.
I might as well be home.
I guess a family can be quite a problem sometimes.
Yes.
Well, of course, nothing like the problems you have.
But, then, you do have your freedom.
I've always been fascinated by astrology or astronomy.
Astronomy.
Well, you know what I mean stargazing.
The only trouble with keeping your eyes on the stars is
well, you stand a pretty good chance of missing
what's happening right here on earth.
Chip.
Yeah, Dad?
Thank you.
Boy, when I build my home,
I'm gonna have about a million outlets
in the garage.
Well, that's it, I guess.
What was wrong, Dad?
One cotter pin, two bent paper clips
and, uh, one skate key.
Gee, thanks, Dad! You're welcome.
Now, let's try it.
Oh, now, what's the matter?
I guess this just isn't my day.
And it hasn't even started.
Chip, did you give Dad this message?
What message?
The message from the doctor
that I wrote you when she called up.
Oh.
When did Dr. Johnson call?
When Mike and Bub went to the store.
And he told Robbie and me not to wake you up.
And Robbie was in the garage.
Oh, no wonder I'm always in trouble with Jean.
I probably don't get half the messages she sends.
STEVE: "Took an earlier flight.
"Have figured out why Operation Johnson
"won't get off the ground.
"Bad timing in the first-stage rocket.
"Will try to correct in Washington.
"Let you know results.
Request rain check on Den of Disaster."
(chuckles softly)
You aren't sore at me, are you, Dad?
No, Chip, no.
No, it's a very nice message.
You did fine.
(washing machine rumbling) Jeepers, Dad, it's running!
Yeah.
Well, you got it working, eh, Steve?
I thought that washing machine was
a goner for sure. Well, you know what they say
in my business, Bub Even the impossible is possible.
(washing machine rumbling)
(jet engine roaring)